No reason not to have platonic friendships now with straight men. You’d be surprised how many won’t care that you’re gay. Just find some areas of interest and meet some guys. You know, men’s friendship really revolve and grow in the context of shared interests. Women’s friendship, to use a metaphor, is like two people holding hands and facing each other in a tête-à-tête about their inner feelings. Men, and the other hand, stand shoulder to shoulder and focus on the task. Friendship grows out of that.

That inferiority thing also happens when you're shorter than most men. Societal judgments can test your sense of self.

Taylor you have gifts that other men don't, and they need you. You are part of their journey, not an alien experience. Homophyllic attractions are natural and much more common than we ever knew.

Homosexuality did not ruin shit, it's the immature view on little things like hugs and so on, ruined that.

This is a word in due season! I’ve been sharing this with my circle of friends and those I know who struggle. Thank you for sharing and shedding light on this huge part of life. Your book shows Chris making friends and being loved on and I think that is big in the SSA person’s desire. I’m glad you address that. Keep up the great work!

Personally, I could relate more to straight men, than gay men----from my experience, being around gay men comes with drama, evilness, backstabbing, gossip etc... interacting and being in straight male spaces, I never encountered little to no drama- only in gay men spaces, I had the most problems----that's why I refuse to have gay men as friends because they just broken and hurt people----hurt people ,hurt people.

I have never really struggled with my homosexuality. When I recognized clearly that those were my feelings and attractions, I was able to accept those and accept myself that way and just move on with my life. It did take a while to slowly come out to friends and family because I was still aware that the stigma is real and powerful in our culture. Accepting my sexuality in this way did allow me to leave the unhealthy religious environment that denied me my feelings, and also allowed me to have open and loving relationships with other queer men and also to have very fulfilling platonic relationships with both queer and straight me alike. So I would say, if you can accept yourself you can lay aside this useless struggle with yourself and with God and live a happy homo life.

I think I've ruined my 5-year friendship. He was my best friend, but this morning he said, 'You are an annoying freak. I don't care who you're involved with, who you love. You are no longer my friend.' I thought real friends talk about sex, love, life, and other stuff. I must have crossed a line. Oh god, I'm going to cry. But I can't. I'm at work.

It's very fascinating how you used the word "masculinity" as a code word to describe love, validation, acceptance, confidence, self-esteem, etc etc ... the things you were describing were never a striving for masculinity; they were a yearning to be reassured that you weren't less-than, that you did matter, that your natural femininity wasn't actually a blight upon the earth. You definitely had a set of rough circumstances as a child, with your insecurities never letting you get close enough to normalize male-male relationships; you always hung on the outskirts, scared of what interacting with a guy would mean to him and to you. I'm sorry these things happened to you. I'm glad you feel validated and loved for who you are now.

Yoooh brother what you shared is actually how i experienced it .Thank you for this video .God bless you .

Omg our stories are so similar. Like I got my first male best friend at 22. And he graduated a year before me. I’m still friends with him. And we are 32 and 33.

You blame on homosexuality what is essentially a problem with masculinity and how boys are acculturated.

Just like how heterosexuality ruined straight guys' chance at making platonic female friends, right? You say things that are so shocking to me lol.

amazing, beyond words. what a level of honesty and sincere masculinity. in a word: Inspirational !!!!

Gay guys can have straight masculine male friends. Godly or someone who isn't a believer either. But it doesn't make the gay guy masculine or want to be straight. There's also feminine straight men who have never been gay. And there's also masculine gay men who never done girly things. Basically masculine and feminin energy is within us all. Doesn't matter if your a man or woman. Self exceptence sets you free. I grew up Christian but no longer practicing it. Grew up around Godly men and also none believers. I'm still gay. God made us all different. Being gay doesn't make you less of a man or none masculine. It's just a part of your personality. There's so many things about gay men that even some straight men wish they could do. Also homosexuality doesn't make gay men lust for masculine men. Some gay guys aren't attracted to masculine men. Even 2 feminine guys can be in a relationship. All of us have our own story. Thank you for sharing!

Great video Taylor! And I think your findings here definitely echo my own.

Great insights. I have found them all to be true in my life and struggle with SSA. Thanks for sharing.

It is so great that you found masculine men, who are faithful, who believe in god and they help you to grow in your whole personality and masculinity. Some weeks ago I joined a spiritual gay men facebook group. We all have a deep belief in Jesus, but there comes mostly only a "hey", "thank you" or a smiley if you commend a contribution or picture, but nothing deeper. Maybe I must wait a little bit to find the right platonic friends, who belief in God and have also interest to share our life experiences, to laugh, to speak about serious topic... I hope so🙏 All the best my friend, I am so proud of you👍🙏

Your situation is a rare. Most straight men would never hang out with a gay men regardless of anything. You're so lucky.

Damn, yes, growing up and still today I am very uncomfortable with engaging with men in a physical way. In junior high we had wrestling a few times and it was bordering near trauma to engage that way. I’ve been interested in getting into a combative sport, and the fear of physicality is holding me back. Im really glad to hear your story, even though there’s a lot of pain working to let go of gay identity and sexual compulsions. I continue to pray.

Really interesting podcast. I’m gay and most of my friendships were with other guys. I feel more comfortable w the fellows. It would be interesting to compare notes. I also grew up in a religious household. As a kid/teen I got along w the other guys but could never open up.

Are you okay with staying single forever?

I watched the full video, so happy for you! I also struggle, you’ve really helped me to gain courage to make male friendships!

Make them feel like crap if they love to humiliate you for you’re sexuality, treat them with the same or more extreme bad energy, straights don’t need to be idealized, like they are.

Thank you very much for sharing your experience🙏 I knew all the feelngs of insecurities and admired maculine men, who were older than I. Now I look myself masculine (beard and a little bit muscles) and I am more confident now. But I know the time where I was small and thin and I had attraction to men, but I could not show this. This was a enorm tension for me and especially straight men reacted nervous and unsecure because they felt my inner conflict. When I told them that I have a girl friend (which was a lie) they reacted relaxed tapped me on my shoulder than we drank a coffee or beer and we were the best friends. So I learned that hiding my real nature makes it easier to survive in the society. In the meantime I made some experiences with men and had friendships, but now many of my friends died in AIDS, Hep C or Cancer. So I dont life an active sexual life anymore because I survived and I want to live longer in a healthy state. The whole hormon pressure is now away from me and I prefer platonic friendships. In my own experience it is not so easy to have a platonic friendship to gay men. Most of them want sex and they have not interest in speaking, discussion and common activities. So 90% of my social contacts are women. It is ok and fine, but to have a friendship with a trustworthy man would be very nice. THANK YOU very much, you are great and amazing, I whish you all the best and stay healthy👍

Wow! I also always felt like my struggle with homosexuality was like that of a creature wanting to devour and never be satisfied

Thank you for sharing. I can relate so much to what you’re saying.

I grew up thinking gay because of thid societal pressure for boys to be rowdy and sporty. My aspergers ruined so much of my highschool life. So im artsy and shy and "nerdy"

Omg!!! I relate to you so much!!! ❤️🙏🏾🙌🏾

I've learned a couple things as I've gotten closer with God. 1st thing is that God creates all of us as different parts of the same body. Culture tends to tell us that masculinity looks and feels a particular way, excluding all the other forms of valid masculinity. I mean look at how many kids grow up without a father or with an emotionally distant father... that's society conditioning men to a particular version of masculinity that is just as much a perversion as it's opposite. So when God creates you a little different than other men... say you are an artist, more emotional, love the color pink, love flowers/gardening, don't care for sports.... those things are superficial and do not make you effeminate. They do not make you less than the man God created you to be. But culture has so perverted masculinity that now when your favorite color is pink... you start to think you are wrong, different or in the wrong body (that's a simplification.) One extreme perversion of God's creation seems to create a whole other extreme perversion. We need to accept that we are not going to all be the same exact men with the same exact height, with the same exact tastes. Once we embrace this with courage... we discover that we are truly masculine as God created masculinity. Jesus was a MAN, and dare I say the most masculine man that ever lived... but he was humble, kind, sweet and meek. 2 ) God describes Himself as a Father, Husband and friend to His people many times throughout the old and new testament. Jesus is described as a Brother, Husband and Friend to his church throughout the bible as well. As I've developed a close, intimate relationship with The Father and The Son... I found the Father I never had, the Brother I needed, the Husband I longed for and the best Friend I could've ever asked for. In discovering all of this, and the fulfillment of these roles in my life... I've suddenly... for the first time in 30 years of my life started finding women so attractive. And men less and less attractive. I started appreciating what I am to a woman and what she is to me as a man, in relation to our creation. It's weird. Once I understood Christ is our eternal husband... I've started having this attraction to women that I never had before. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32

You are making assumptions about the guys before you even met them.

Here’s a flash: straight men do rarely truly connect with each other when it comes to friendships! I have a few straight men friends and although I do feel honored and special when they come to me to talk about their inner struggles, another part of myself can’t help but wonder whether they see me like a friend or like a therapist

You look super cute.I am happy that finally found meaning in life.And it's a very proud fact that you have written a book about it.Meow.😻😻😻

Wow. I wish I could meet you and have a conversation about this because your understanding of the deep lies and feelings underlying homosexuality is so accurate. God has guarded my heart from slipping into this lifestyle but I have struggled so much with this. The best thing college has given me is good male friends.

I'm single, but I cannot be around married men. Must be around single men. Reconnect with your women friends.

Thank you, Taylor.

God bless keep sharing your story 👍

It really looks like straight men not knowing how to be decent human beings towards anyone else than toxic other ""masculine"" men. Looks like homophobia ruined it 🤨 but I see what you mean. I hope you get true healing beyond religiosity.

As you join the body of Christ, you will develop deep, spiritual relationships with other Christian brothers and your friendships with women will dramatically change. Keep headed to the Cross brother, keep on!

You weren't sexually threatening, meaning you didn't want to do them. You were just one of the girls. Even if you're gay, they denied you sexual power. You desire to be desired. I was never attractive growing up, short, ugly, bad hair and worse acne. Abused as a child by father and kids at school, so I never had a chance to make a choice. You at least had that, you choose men.

Very good

Being gay does not ruin chances in connecting to other men!

Wow - so was every other guy in junior high and high school a jock? Seriously, there were no groups of guys who were into science fiction TV shows, books, and movies? Or into Goth? They were all athletes who went deer hunting with their fathers on weekends when they were not repairing cars?

Hola ,, se mal casi no se ve y no se su idioma , soy Chilena 🇨🇱 Español 🙏🙏🙏

Wow ! Powerful message Taylor … I have never heard it put quite like you describe but it really makes sense. Much of my adult life I have hid my struggle from masculine straight men for fear of being found out and rejected. But God has been bringing these kind of Godly men into my life to come around me affirm my own masculinity. Thank you Taylor for your brave and bold openness in sharing the truth.

Thanks God, you're here. I'm so grateful for your testimony, bro! "Change is possible!"🙏🎈🎈🎈

Who you telling ? I can't find one man in church who wants to pray. I've always prayed with women and we prayed long.

Friend i have had a fraction of ssa since I was six, but it was dormant than but more intense now 21 years later, and I deeply felt uncomfortable in a way that I would avoid being around other men if possible, and would not know how to act around them, that I wish I could always cross the street away from men. Homophobic cockroaches are found in all cultures. Luckily I love my sunglasses and mask (even if I was fully straight) to conceal myself from being discovered that I may or may not look at a man’s face for even a second, besides I can look out the periphery. You can naturally be attracted to men on a emotional or romantic level by itself or sexual or portions of each. Romantic/ emotional attraction to me is much deeper.

I've got something that I have always thought, and would like your opinion on this. But if God didn't create gay people. How over populated would this world me by the first thousands of years? I am gay, and feel as if God made me perfect in God's design.

🔥🔥🔥

Praise God!!!!!!!

Realistically, masculine straight and gay men would prefer the company of other masculine men than feminine men.

Should you confece your same sex atraction to your godly straight friends?

LMAO the algorithm led me to a place I should not be in lol. Good luck in your journey though lol.

I to suffered similar but I have God now and it is sooo coool

Women aren't all angels. Be careful.

Male friendship = gay friendship! Male friendship IS gay in nature but NOT sexual! We are men and we are ALL gay! Masculinity is gay, penises are gay, muscularity is gay! I'm gay and I CHOOSE to be gay! I CHOOSE men! I always have been gay since I was a little boy and ALWAYS will be! Also being gay is NOT inherently sexual, dirty and inappropriate for kids! Same goes for being male, penises and muscular nude bodies. Obviously, all of such things CAN always be sexual and are so in some cases, but are USUALLY non-sexual, as they should be! Male friendship is gay, whether it is naked or clothed, but the former condition is way better as it keeps us together. All of us men and boys should form nudist friendships where we don't perceive our penises and nude male/muscular bodies as something sexual and adults-only. Whether you're a baby boy or an old man, gay friendship (nudist or textile) has no age and SHOULD have no age! Personally, I think a gay intergenerational nudist friendship, such as a little boy and a big man is ideal as the man would teach my views to the boy so it doesn't make him (the boy) become a dirty/sexual gay when he becomes an adult. Obviously, the parents must have say in whom the child associates themself with and the behaviors the child would get involved in as well as watch over the little boy to make sure he is safe with the (boy) friend. I firmly believe that being gay SHOULD and CAN exist on a platonic level where it is friendly and non-sexual! If being gay, male, penises, nude muscular/adult-like bodies ARE sexual, then they MUST be age-restricted to prevent psychological damage to minors. That would be gay pornography or homosexual content which is adults only. It ALL depends on the context and intentions. I also think that photos and videos of nudist gay friendships and (non-sexual) penises alone in close-up, of and among male persons of ANY age, including children and babies, SHOULD and CAN be widely available all over the internet to find and download for our own viewing pleasure. It will make the world a FAR better place! Long live gay friendship! Yeah, that's my opinion even if my opinions are pretty weird, but that's just me. I'm a unique species of man on so many levels.

Why do you keep calling homosexuality a struggle?🙉 I've mainly struggled with homophobia but not homosexuality. Like, what is the reason?🤷🏽‍♂️

A victim of his own creation

Damn, so relatable...Besides the god thing

just want to talk to you once, if possible ever .

Wow are you handsome!

I couldnt hear to the end, I'm sorry, I really respect your point of view, but I must say I'm deeply disagree with you. At first I heard about your struggle and longing to deep meaningful friendships with men, and I said to myself how sympathize I am, and how adorable and beautiful you are, and how much I would like you to be my best male friend. And then came the analysis, and I want to tell you this. I am a masculine tall, shoulders wide man. I never gravitated towards femininity, I never liked dolls or anything similar, I was kind of a nerd so no sports either which can be problematic with making male friends. I also wasn't attracted to any of my male classmates because they seen like boys to me, I always was attracted to 30ish years old men, so there was no sexual tension at all. I didn't feel inferior, I did feel threatened by their ability to bully me, and call out my lie when they get the chance to know me more deeply, so I always had nerdy mixed group of friends, girls and boys together, I never could get friendly with the masculine boys, although I wanted, and sometimes they tried, I was too scared and alienated. People assumed I'm asexual before they guessed me for being gay, I even didn't lie by saying I like girls! I just never talked sexually, I was perceived as a weird mysterious guy. And although all I said, I have trouble bonding with men, and I miss it deeply. But you know what? I see men in general having problems with deep friendships with others, no matter what their sexuality orientation is, they just damaged by their disability to create intimacy, because it counter with masculinity values, that's it. You don't need to blame your femininity gayness on that, it's not your problem, you are perfect.

L.O.L Let's play stinkfinger, at an all-boys sleepover?

Wow you are the first person I ever heard put into language the value of Brother hood. From someone who’d been robbed of that experience do to homosexuality

Every time he says “struggling with homosexuality” take a drink.

this sounds like a you problem and the repercussions of discrimination and homophobia

Ex gay lies.

These explanations are so strung out and repetitive and just a mess. Very cringe watching you convince yourself of something. True bravery is being yourself.

Although im a muslim, this video helped me alot. I also suffer from homosexuality and faced the same scenarios you mentioned, i pray that all my brothers regardless of religion get healed.

Wow, this is cringe.

Imagine someone standing for slavery, well this is very similar. If you are trying to damage other people's rights then YOU ARE THE PROBLEM, NOT THE OTHERS