"I started exercising 3 times a week. I still don't have meaningful relationships or high self esteem, I still see myself as a garbage human being ... but at the very least I don't want to die anymore" I could have really quoted from countless parts in this video, I really connect with the sentiments you laid out. You've commented and followed me on twitter so long, I don't watch a lot of anime videos and am sometimes really dense so I'm not sure I knew you even made videos, but this one is really good. I still have the drawing you sent me saved on my computer. Also your usage of clips that match up and switch to different anime is something that clearly shows a lot of the care you put into editing it. Hope you get closer to GTO, and honestly I hope I do too.

As a teenager, I thought I wanted to be popular so I would be loved. When in actuality, I wanted to just love myself and feel secure. I thought I wanted to be strong and muscular. When in actuality I wanted to have a strong heart. I thought I wanted to be a kind person to others. When in actuality I wanted to be kind to myself. I thought I wanted to be useful to others. When in actuality I wanted to be self-reliant. What I am saying is, once you love yourself and feel more secure you will be popular and loved by many. Once, you have a strong heart you will become strong and muscular. Once you be kind to yourself, you will be kind to others and once you become self-reliant, you will be useful to others.

How many lives have been saved by Anime and specifically One Piece i cant imagine.I bet thousands of people think "I wont die till One Piece ends" like myself.

This video was beautiful man. As someone who also struggles with mental health issues this video really hit home. Even if you think no one cares about this video, I am sure there are a few of us at least who do. Keep on making videos man, your editing is great, and this video showed that your writing is awesome! Keep up the good work and stay healthy!

I'm a pretty sad guy who's going through somthing similar to what ur going through but at the end of the this video im a bit happier by just have someone to relate to...thx

Damn this shit felt to personal, but it's true all you need is something to make you feel that you exist, something to make you feel like you have a purpose in life.

This really hit deep. I appreciate how honest you were about your mental health struggles and how it's not an easy fix to motivate yourself to keep moving forward. I wish you the best both in your personal and professional career and I hope you continue to make videos! I really enjoyed this one and I'll definitely keep watching in the future!

I came here after watching your Oregairu video (which was amazing) and I couldn't believe how much you and I have in common. I also turned 22 this year. I too have trouble opening up and connecting with people. From 1:05 to 2:25 it sounded like you were describing me personally and put into words exactly how I thought of myself. I've had frienships throughout the years but they have all come and gone. It took graduating high school and becoming an anime fan to realize how I've never had anything genuine. But it's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one going through something like this. Please keep making videos like this. The quality surpasses that of much bigger channels.

Koe no katachi has always been that manga & movie that makes me cry because of realizing that I should start looking after myself and just live.

Here's to another year of great videos from you Jiffy

Thank you. Your comments about the ‘asshole inside your head’ ring so true to me. Whenever i’m being productive i can keep him out, but once i enter a negative mood the voice makes it so difficult to get out of that state. God i’m glad university is starting again. I still wonder sometimes whether my middle school is 6 wasted years of my life, but i’m starting to come to terms with it more, knowing that every day spent pondering is a day lost to change things. Because every day spent trying will create new memories. They may be bad, they may also be good. You’ll never know if you don’t try.

Bro...how do you only have 900 subs? YOU ARE UNDERRATED. You are so under appreciated. I love you❤. And stop being pessimistic.

The root origin of my mental illness sounds pretty different from yours, but it's eerie how much I can relate to the way you describe the symptoms of your anxiety and depression. I can't believe I've only found your channel now, I've been watching youtube for years and I think this is the first time I've found someone so immediately relatable.

I kinda am just like you. Even though I'm still young and still in school I feel like I'm not good at connecting with people. I have a few friends that I consider close to me but it's just that I don't have that one person I can really entrust everything about me. Don't get me wrong I'm still happy the way my life is going right now (even though it's kinda boring) ;) (btw this is my first comment on youtube so consider yourself special in a way because you are the first person I wanted to share my thoughts with on this platform :))

Hey man, I just wanted to say that I've been watching a couple of your videos this week and I'm glad this one showed up in my recommendations. I've also been struggling with some stuff in my life and also made a similar pact last January on my birthday. I also dream of becoming someone like Onizuka but for now I'm aspiring to become someone as kind and helpful as Shigeo Kageyama. The animes that inspired me to change were Grand Blue and Oregairu. They made me want to reach out, meet people and try to force myself to not stay alone, even though it's the easier solution. Sorry for the long comment, it's just that after your video I wanted to share something as well and I'm glad I got to join this community. Keep up the great work!

Just this video alone put you closer to GTO than to the NHK to me.

Well that only anime thing that make me cry its its Reality... NHK does reside with me tho in Reality Life is Depressing but there is philosophical topics of life and Religion never stop Learning Knowledge...

It's relatable brother and yes I am currently in my teenage years and it's boring, but guess I ll try to change myself

Its very comforting knowing theres someone out there who feels the same. Always wanting to be liked and never wanting to be a burden. Afraid to make friends and afraid to be hurt. The only friends I make always become distant when they see my genuine side. Probably made me into the timid mess I am today. Doesnt help that my parents have high expectations and my sisters ridicule me for being the youngest. The things I love are scrutinized but the things I try to change are seen as fake. Then 4 months after my 20th I got diagnosed with kidney failure and had to start dialysis. I felt my life was over. How could I have a normal life between school, work, and my health? The fear of being a burden only surfaced more and more since my mom had to help me out often. Some days the thought does surface but I always think, why do something so pointless. Itd be better to live than to die knowing you havent made an impact on those in your life. Which is what changes my mind. My 24th birthday is coming up as well. I hope you are doing well. Edit: That ending made me really happy :). I use cooking and anime to keep me busy. Thank you for this

Im speechless, not everyone does these types of videos and im glad you did, thank you man.

ill forever cherish this video

23 here. I feel the same about Tatsuhiro Sato. Keep going though. If Sato can do it, so can we. God bless.

I watched bunny girl senpai lately and didin"t expect someone to talk about it. I am happy we share the same feelings about the anime.

There is huge impacts to mental in both way but most of the anime is indecent especially for kids or teenagers

I don’t know if it’s true, but there’s an adage that goes something like “happiness is in helping others”. This video made me cry, you may not be “good at connecting with others “ but this video made me feel as though I wasn’t all alone. It gave me hope however short lived this hope will be it made me feel better and you’ve inspired me to want to do that too. I hope you can give yourself credit for me and all the other peoples hearts you’ve touched with this video. It’s been three years though, so I hope all is well ❤

Thank you for this video. I don’t feel quite as alone as I did before watching

I've seen this video a few times now and, if anything, it's nice to hear similar feelinggs put into words. Thanks for what you are doing.

Hey man, i just found u through ur review of “No longer Human” which made me decide to read the book itself. I don’t really comment on anything but I feel like i can really connect with how u feel, its really hard for me to express myself in real life because of my extreme social anxiety and I feel like no one ever understands how i feel nor ever want to understand which leads to me not having anyone that i can deeply have a connection with. Everyday is spent hating myself and I push everyone away through my self destructive behavior. Im glad i came across ur video, havent seen u upload for awhile, hope ure doing great man.

Happy birthday man.

You probably helped a lot of people with this video. I'm not sure you realize the scope of the thing, but you did something that made the world better.

I know you probably wont see this comment but I absolutely love your channel and this video is my favourite video ive ever seen. Whenever i feel sad i watch this and realise im not the only one. I wish you the best in the world, thank you.

Im glad that youtube suggested me your channel. I love this. Stay happy man.

I'm really grateful to you for doing it. All of it. For talking about anime, for talking about mental health. And I'm really happy to hear that you are getting better. I know i'm really late with saying all of this, because it's been 1,5 year since you posted that video, but I just watched it, and I must say you hit hard with this one. A lot of people are struggling with mental health issues, and it's so good to hear whenever someone is saying that he/she is getting better. Even if you not there yet (wherever "there" is) the most important thing is that you are moving forward. Anime and manga have helped me tremendously over the years. I've learned from them a lot. So i'm happy that they helped you too. I love your videos, so don't stop doing them! Your editing it's really great, and you are talking about really important stuff, not only in this video. You are great! Thank you for your work, and thank you for being you.

This was an amazing video. Honestly I could just sit here and watch you all day. Your talent for story telling is exceptional and I strive to reach your level of story telling. I could also connect on a lot of things you said. Keep up the amazing work!

Man this video... I felt so bad about your situation... That is quite a miserable way to live your life... But at the same time I get it, I see myself in some of the situations that you described and that terrifies me. I found your channel during my re-watch of Oregairu to gain some insight into the themes and overall package them in a nice convenient way inside my head. I was pleasantly surprised by your ability to summarize the idea of the show. After that, I watched a bunch of your other videos such as Madao from Gintama, or Solanin which tackles familiar or even the same issues that you personally described here about yourself in this video. In all of those videos you've mentioned, but not directly explained why you felt like that. For that, I respect you that you've been able talk about the issues that's been weighing you down. That was pretty brave. All in all, I hope that you're going to continue doing what best for you, like for now making videos. I know that it's nothing special saying in form a stranger and I'm not trying to project, but: "Keep up the good work!" ^,^b

Hey Jiffy i still remember it was August 2021 i saw this video and wrote a whole paragraph of how much i can relate with the video and how it motivated me for doing that something which you talked about but it won't be a lie if i say i just didn't believe that the whole thing i wrote will actually mean something in future because i refused to accept that things will change in nearby future i already did accept my fate that I'll be the same depressed boy who'll keep scrolling on internet watching animes day and night and I won't able to make it out of my room but hey it's hard to believe but things really did change from last year that boy who gave up on life is now grinding things to get a better position in life i just wanna say "THANK YOU"👍🏻 (sorry for my bad grammar)

Hope all is well. I wanted to say that your videos really left a deep impact on me. Your analysis videos are excellent and I still consider you to be my favorite anime/manga youtuber, even after all these years. You always brought such an interesting perspective to your videos. Watching them helped to open my mind to new manga/anime that I probably wouldn't have given a chance before. I could also heavily relate to a lot of the things that you talked about. Listening to you describe your perspective and experiences helped me to find the language that I needed to describe my own. Which is something that I really struggled with before, so thank you. Sorry for the long message. But I just want to add that regardless of whether or not you decide to come back to youtube, I'm grateful that I was able to find your channel. I wish you the best in all of your future endeavors, take care!

Thanks for sharing man

Dude I literally can relate to so much in this vid I’m not joking watched like 5 times I kinda been in down spiral in life u inspired me to live my life tanks a lot this vid was brilliant man

Thank you for this video man, it did help.

I can relate to the most of what you said, I love you bro

You are a good person man, hope you live a happy and good life.

I liked this video. It felt like the creator made this video as though he was just talking to get his thoughts out. I sat down and listened.

A lot of people will appreciate how personal and real this video truly was. I can't put the entirety of my thoughts into words but I really enjoy what you're doing. Keep it up!

Thank you for this video, I related to this way more than I'd honestly want to admit but watching this helps me try to better myself and gives me hope, I cannot say it enough to truly show my gratitude but thank you. Amazing video and i hope to see more in the future.

Hi man, I'm also your age. I know I'm a year late, but i really relate to you in the sense of lacking self-steem, having no meaningful relationships and feeling empty. I also struggle to change and all that stuff. I just found your channel and I saw that you haven't posted in a while. I hope you're ok. I hope we both can have fulfilling lives, that something changes. Maybe inside of us, not only outside. Become more grateful perhaps, or some other self-help stuff... Sorry for rambling...

I landed this video for 2 reasons; 1) I used to like anime a lot (when I was in my darkest moments) and 2) After I quitted it (more than a year ago) I discovered (by working on my habits) that I'm passionate about behaviorism, so today I was wondering about how anime can affect our lives by blending reality with fiction, in other words, escaping from reality. Now, this is something we all now, it could be a way of idealizing something you want but you don't have (yet), but around those months before quitting it I made myself that tough question; what if I can become the kind of person who can live this? What if I can be in charge of my own life? It was a slow and progressive process; stacking small habits one at a time, being consistent and reminding myself that otherwise I couldn't have the MEANING that I was looking for. The more I get to progress (in the real world), the more meaning, hunger and thrive I get to feel. Keep going.

It's good to hear your story, I cant ever remember a time where I can say I've thought of ending it all. But I do understand the abis of loneliness and uselessness. It's good to hear that you have got yourself out of it and I hope to support your future content 😁🤟

I’m 15 years old. And i’ve been feeling the same thing for years. Also, my father was very abusive and I suffered bullying for 3 years.

I care dude. I love these types of videos based on anime and manga. You are an awesome creator and I will follow you for as long as you are creating content. Thank you for this amazing video and I hope you are doing awesome man. Keep up the fantastic work.

I relate with some of this video but I don't think I have depression, I feel like an empty emotionless husk everyday and I can rarely care enough about something to make as much as a facial expression, and I don't want to live yet i think suicide is cowardly. I cant say i'm very happy either since currently my life is completely empty and devoid of any emotion. recently i've figured out that the only reason I live is because i'm alive, pathetic right? Every time I even look at a girl I have a slight crush on I immediately remember my worth and how their future will not intertwine with mine. I used to get that pain in my chest from when I would even think about this stuff but at some point it stopped and now i'm a human devoid of all hope and emotions.

Thanks for writing and sharing. It's clear that you like video making itself. Take care man, keep going

rascal does not dream about bunny girl senpai is an anime I watched already its really depressing and I liked it after the series I watched the movie that blowed my mind and tbh and made me feel what life is all about and made me depressed but still in a happy way. I am happy that I watched it. I would absolutely take the chance to forget the whole anime and movie to be able to watch it all over again sometime..

A year ago, I watched your Oregairu video. More specifically, I listened to it as I drove to my buddy’s house because I had just rewatched the series and it popped up on my feed. For almost a year, I’ve thought about it regularly, but since I didn’t know the name of your channel or title of the video since I was driving, I couldn’t find it - all I could remember was the Oregairu video from the guy with the cool accent. Then, earlier this week I watched Aleckandxr’s (is that how you spell it?) Oregairu video and yours came up in the recommended tab. I watched it, not knowing it was the video I had been thinking about for a while and was pleasantly surprised. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really felt this video. I turned 24 this year and basically felt as if someone was reading a book about my life listening to you speak. We’ll probably never be close friends because of the shared crippling depression and social anxiety, but keep making videos. I really do enjoy watching your content. You should make a Discord server or something for your humble community.

Anime takes me to like another world and I feel free and good many people dont understand it just like you the movie " a silent voice" made me cry and I felt good it was very reliving and felt like I had passed things I couldn't

Hey duder, I hope you are still out there. You seem to have gone silent for a while. I want you to know that this video has impacted me a great amount twice now. I found this accidentally the first time, and wasn't exactly doing so hot back then. The whole "Just go do something" part helped me a ton. You gave me some great advice. I watched A Silent Voice afterwards, and cried twice. Still my favorite movie. Recently, I watched all of Mob Psycho, and something reminded me about this video. I assume it was the clips you included. I hadn't remembered what exactly but I remember this being really really good. So I searched for like half an hour and found this. All of it came back to me. The lesson you taught me returned. I rewatched and it hit again. I seemingly have solved my past problems, minus one but I am doing better on that. This video definitely helped back then. I was quite skinny. I had wanted to work out, or had started already (I forget which) and this gave me a little bit of relatability that I needed. Like "Oh yeah, this dude is like me and if he can do it, so can I!". It helped me a lot back then, and I feel this reminder will as well. That was a bit of a ramble, sorry about that. Basically, thank you. You really helped me out. I hope you are making it big out there. Safe travels

Hey man, I found out about you from the oregairu video and I really liked it. It gave me a lot of insight on how Hayato and Haruno were as a people. I just wanted to thank you for making these videos man. It's still crazy to find out that I'm not the only one who is struggling with depression and can't make any meaningful connections in life. I've always been scared of human interactions throughout my entire life. But in 2018, I thought I had finally nailed it. I started dating someone, I had a lot of friends, I felt confident about myself. I felt like I had finally become the person I aspired to be when I was young, but everything started collapsing late last year. I broke up with my ex, I started getting ignored by everyone, and I had reverted back to my old self. There were days where I would just skip school because I was afraid of being lonely in a sea of people. I was so depressed that I legit thought about ending my life as well. I felt worthless, I didn't have any self confidence, I didn't know what's the point of living. Nowadays I don't talk to anyone anymore, because I'm afraid of being ignored again. A lot of the times I'll think it's my fault for not opening up to other people, so I'll apologize, but most of the times the situation doesn't change at all. When I think I've finally fixed a friendship, it goes bad again. Sometimes I'll just get randomly ignored by people who were close to me, and when that happens my depression just worsens. No one ever seeks out to talk to me or ask what's going on in my life. I also feel like I'm just wasting my life away. I know I have to be vulnerable to create genuine relationships, but every time I wanna talk about more deep/serious conversations they never seem to care enough. I've kinda just given up in making friends, let alone having the audacity to imagine having another girlfriend. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone man, and I really resonated with the video. I know my comment was probably too long, but I still wanted to get it off my chest. You just earned yourself another subscriber ! This might seem a bit far fetched, but if you ever come to Japan hit me up ! I'd love to just hang out with someone who is going through the same things. Happy 22nd birthday and let's keep on improving ourselves !

I'm not depressed or anythin like that but i work in a highly risky environment but have promised myself not to die until all of demonslayer recieces an anime adaption actually i've told myself that same thing for years and for some reason i just keep moving forward and gettin better because i want to watch more anime. Fuck i love anime. Great video bro.

I found this video and your channel while coming up with ideas how to build my own... I really admire your vulnerability, everything you had to say, and your editing is very nice too

True loneliness is when you have no one to share your experiences with. When i feel lonely, i watch your videos, listen to your voice. I can relate with you and I feel less lonely now 🙂

I hope you make it big. Love your content

I guess the youtube algorythm did something right for once! this video really gives me hope. I never thought about your way of thinking.

Belated Happy bday, I really loved this video,it was beautiful and connected with me

Hay men i just recently found your channel and i was touched to the things that u said. I was feeling a bit of halo inside and feeling left out i tired to be special and make meaning to my life but i just end up failing, financial, academic even self respect i was thinking to end myself this 2022 but on the aug of 14 2021 my younger brother committed suicide i check him late but when i check his pulse he still has one and we rushed him to the nearest hospital, it was tough oxygen was scarce and i dont know what to do he supported to be alive but bec of my failure of saving him in time, he passed away. I never cried so hard in my life and i always remember that we used to dream in going to japan cause we both love the culture and anime as well. It pains me to the point that i hope that im the one who is dead not him. He as better future that i am. The last voice that i remember of him saying before he did that"thanks brother" up until this day im still hurt i cant even save my love one what am i worth of a human being more or less a big brother. Ps im sorry for the long message i just want to express my deepest regrets and sadness in life.

I know i can´t change the way you think about your inability to connect with people, so i won´t attempt to. But atleast if it helps even a little i would like to let you know that your videos have connected with me, especially your oregairu one which led me to watch your other videos. If it weren´t for you i wouldn´t have watched given since i´m not big on the whole yaoi genre but since i´ve watched it i´ve almost daily watched mafuyu perform his song because it resonates so deeply with me and it still sends shivers down my spine each time i see/hear it. So thank you, and i sincerely hope that you had a great day

you don't know how much your video means to me. it's like you put everything that i have been uncapable to explain myself for years in a 10 minutes video. i'm not in a great place right now and anime helps me feel better. thank you so much for the anime recommandations i'm planning to watch all of them. also i know i'm a bit late since it was posted in october but if you see my comment, i want to say thank you so much for this video. i'm glad that you are in a better state of mind now and i wish you all the best for the future.

I'm surprised to find a video by someone else who has watched Welcome to the NHK. That show should get more attention (for positive effects, hopefully.) Thank you for making this video. I enjoyed it. And it gave me interesting thoughts. It was an interesting video. Thank you.

I hope you are doing better this year, man. I relate to you a lot, I've wasted my teenage years in shame, to scared to make connections, and now, as I approach adulthood, I realised I had no memories, and no one had memories of me. The thought that no one will remember me really hit me hard last year, which ended up in me trying to commit suicide. Fortunately, I was able to survive. December last year was a really rough time, but seeing my family so invested in wanting me to make me feel better really motivated me to change my ways. You are not alone, man, we care about you.

I can't believe that I havent found you sooner, I can really relate to how you feel now/ felt (since it's been a quick month). I'm glad that you are still with us, and I hope to watch more genuine videos to come! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to binge your channel ^-^

Not a single person in the world is worthless... You may not know.. But your words action or advice may save many life.... Even sometimes doing nothing can help people.... 😇

Same hereeee happy late birthday and tnx for not dying

Man, the fact that you can do this video and express so well how you feel is just enough to see how astonishing you are. It has past 1 year from when you published this video but I'm watching it now and it's now when i'm having mental problems too. I wish I could get in touch with you.

I would put myself in a similar place as you, not gonna lie but anime can save lives, keep at it strong! idk why but I watched a Silent Voice while I wast feeling the worst in my life, it helped understand so much that I gotta thank that anime

I kind of like you .. I am exactly like you brother from my childhood to this 21 th year of age and even I have friends around I am just a stranger in my thinking I am just a feelingless no knowledge of human behaviour and lonely and unable to connect to people emotiinally unable to comfort them even they comforted me unable to react back to their kindness no matter how much I try at the end I end up being out of their vibes itself I felt like am a robot too which hurts and make me scared of myself that I will oneday be end up in a way which I never want to which I also don't know how ... But now I am steping forward to heal myself too ... but I am still in dipressed i hope that these anime will help me as it helped you when I watch it ^^ thanks bro .. to let me know it's not only me but more people out there are like me too 😊 your this one vedio makes me feel comfortable so I already watched it more than three times just now😂 I feel thankful to you

Dude your awesome, keep being yourself and keeping going

this is a beautifully written video - I've just stumbled onto your channel but these videos are genuinely son interesting (especially the tatami galaxy one!) and I really hope ur still feeling a little better now. This channel and ur videos are legit a real achievement and I hope u continue making them!

Today is 9th as well. I hope you are doing well, 4 years after your video. This video helped me a lot

I have also went through that, and though im younger than you and all, its really motivating that I know that someone went through the same and got passed it, thank you very much, i hope your situation gets better

I mean i like you more than hiding tbh. I kinda think youre by like a tad bit. You hold back alot but in different ways than him. Which clearly means you're actually a beast. And you work on things yourself which means you do have a certain pride left in you. Yeah i like you alot dude. Youre a freaking beast. Ppl should tell you that more. I think I will.

Glad you made this video :) wishing you a happy and long life.

I am so glad I came across this video, as it shows how much of broken man you truly are yet you keep yearning for more. You didnt give up and you kept on striving and that is the most admirable thing, no one is alone in this world no matter how different you think your emotions are, theres always going to be someone somewhere who has the exact thoughts emotions and ideals as you. All it takes is for you(like shouya) to take your hands of your ears and accept that you. Are not alone in this world and that there are billions of people just like you.

So, recently I watched OreGairu. I really loved it, but the main plot still seemed fuzzy to me. Don't know whether it's me stupid or some translation issues :/ I was really disturbed about it, felt anxiety the whole next day. Therefore, I started searching for explanation of the plot. Your video about OreGairu was great and that was such a relief. Interestingly, I actualy missed a lot of the characters motivation, back plot, etc. To the main thing, though. This one was so touching and genuine, that it convinced me to subscribe (It's hard for me to watch English content on KZfaq, that's why I was not going originally). But you did a great job about your mentality and I hope you'll be doing better and better from now on. A lot of things you told about feel so familiar to me. I want to witness your improvements, to become a part of that community you mentioned, to be able to show my respect and support to you. Thank you for your work and content. It really matters for many. Wish you good luck and further successes in your life.

This video will be seen 🥰

Thanks for the video, I've watched a lot of your commentary vids for different anime cause we think similar and you can explain really well. I can kinda understand where you're coming from and I'm really happy that's you're feeling better, the only reason I'm still alive is because my dad has already gone through too much. Once he dies, I wont last much longer, i just feel hollow and i dont think that'll ever change. Oh I'm 22 too, but I'm female lol

As we are our own biggest critics, I really hope through self empathy you learn to enjoy your craft and creations whether through any platforms or medium despite feeling your crafts isn't good enough. I really appreciate your videos and creations, because I found joy and enjoyments through your script of thoughts and feelings. I cannot wait to see you grow and be a better person, writer, and editor just like many amazing people. Hope you continuously strive to improve yourself and good luck!

I'm going through a rough patch in my life and I'm glad I found this video and I wish I would have found it sooner I thank you so much for having the courage to post this video and helping me feel like I'm not alone.

you get a like and a subscribe, I feel inspired by this video

I can relate to you and its understandable why you have 1.09k viewers because you are a wholesome person who's passionate about something and willing to share. Thats something I cant relate to im too shy and too closed of to do anything like that. I can relate to you as I feel like my life is meaningless as well and that I don't have a purpose in life all the relationships I've had till this day were meaningless and mostly one sided (im 19 and understand that I am still young but it still hurts that there is no person in my life that would want to be with me not because of my social status but because they like me)

Good Luck friend you're amazing

“By becoming so good at nurturing a manufactured version of myself, I ended up not being able to act like my actual self, or what I believe to be my actual self. Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing.” Wow. This is extremely powerful, especially that last part. I had to grow up very fast, and my only want was to be strong and smart, so I repressed all emotion and I pushed everyone away. I wanted to be someone I’m just...not. But I forced myself to fake being an antisocial twat that I am now an antisocial twat. I think that there was a person buried deep inside, but I just don’t know if that person is still alive. I also resonated with the part about having to learn social cues and mannerisms. I have aspergers, so this was made even worse. I want meaningful relationships but I have no idea how to make them. I’m in my room rn, like I’ve been for the past few months after all of my classes finish. TL:DR Thank you

Hey I'm glad that you made progress, I have been through similar situation and I'm so happy that I'm still alive, I never admitted that I wanted to end my life as I thought I was such a coward but after watching this video I feel like I'm not alone. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on depression and mental illness. Please be safe and take care. 💜

I’m enrolling 9th grade next year which means I’m 14 years old. I started school on the age of 4 and that primary school year ended 8 years later in 6th grade (for American standards). I thought I had grown such a big bond with my classmates during those 8 years, but that wasn’t the case at all. The more I grow apart from those years, the more I wonder what I was doing back then. I was always known as the “funny” kid, but at the same time I had a boyish nature as a girl so when I changed schools, I changed. I started sharing my opinions more and stopped caring about religion. I stopped caring about appearance and “having to grow up, because you are getting older”. It’s been almost 3 years and I’ve never once missed my old classmates. If someone would ask me “Have you ever considered suicide?” I probably would lie and say I never had considered “such a thing”, but I know for a fact that you reading here has also considered suicide once and it’s normal to feel that way. You have a life in front of you to live and once you finish school, you’re going to make the best mistakes of your life.

Hi! May I use this for my research project if I feel use for it? I find this heart-warming and I think it would be useful for my assignment! I found it really enjoyable to watch this and learning how anime has helped you saved your life. btw you have a really nice a calming voice to listen to when listening to this, I hope you do well in the future!! Edit: I also kinda find this inspiring in a way :))

What a great video keep up the great work my guy.

Well I found your channel just today, and I'm already subscribed after just a video. You make great videos, and you can tell you put in a lot of care. Something you said close to the beginning really struck close to home. About adapting yourself so often to others you're not really even sure how to be yourself, if you even have a self. I've struggled with such a thing a lot, I'm not sure why, but the thought that I don't even have a proper self anymore, or if I ever did really grips me with a lot of anxiety. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I just felt like I had to get this out after hearing you taking about it. Thank you for the great video.

It was brave of you to post this, being vulnerable to pain and hardship is what makes us human. thank you for posting this, it's nice to know that there is someone out there who understands how you feel.

seems youre a few steps ahead of me, at least there is someone who i can look up to that is ahead of where i want to go thank you

I'm turning 20 and I feel a lot like what you expressed about yourself in the video. I am seeking change or at least trying, i still feel trash but at least trying to change. Trying to find something to connect to, something that will bring me what I wanted. Something real. Your videos are amazing man, you are an amazing person for me, keep it up.

Find something or someone you love use that as a reason to march on untill you’re able to accept who you are as a person things will get better bro please don’t give up

Love you bro don't die please I love your videos like literally