*everybody liked that*

tbh that does sound pretty good

@@vyangrundler860 as long as the garage isn't cold

So going to say this next time I’m in a bar !

hell yeah

what if its a crackhead? would u oblige the offer?

I'd have to treat any new female like a corn star audition. Here's the number for my physician, standard background and STD check, ID photo, please say into the camera in your own words why you're interested in my whatever, notary is over there.

@@razorramonmachismo4172 Well they are indeed very experienced with pipes.

You have to make sure they can't say no, because of the implication.......

Still remember one, and yes she was good looking... She "That drink is free." Me "No." She "It is." Me "No." She "But I get a free shot with it." Me "No." She "This place sucks." Me "You're entitled to your own opinion." She "You want to give me something for free." Me "Why?" She "Because I'm popular, I have a lot of friends and I can tell them how awesome your place is." Me "That train is gone, you already said the place sucks." She "I'm also rich." Me "Thats good, so you can pay for your drink." She "But wherever I go I always get something for free!" Me "There is a first for everything." She "I can't believe you said no to me, no one says no to me." Me "Obviously we haven't met before." She "Alright I pay, but you give me something to write on." Me "That's acceptable." She "Here, that's my email just get back to me later." Assumed she just wanted a chance to say no to me as well, so I didn't. ;)

once i had to clean a human poop off the middle of the bathroom floor. so it could be worse

@@SungaAttack I reckon if ya haven’t done that then you’re not a proper bartender

A college of mine had to clean a giant steamer off the lid and system of a toilet after some drunk animal dropped one on the lid then sandwiched it. It took 6hr of people complaining about the smell for someone to find it.

@@bababush2072 ive once taken such a fat shit,it clogged the toilet,it was crazy,id bet thats the approval to work there,couldnt be anything else.

I mean, cant u just flush it?

Ditto ✌️🇦🇺🤠

Kick them out if you don't like them.

As a this, I approve of bartending

fuck me same, Was laughing so much

Why don't you say these things after they paid for the bill?

The trick is, ask for a drink, pull out your phone while pulling out the tip. Realize at that moment it's dead, "oh shit, y'all wouldn't happen to have a charger, no worries if not". Tends to work, cause you already ordered, and they know you're a tipper. More flies with honey than vinegar and all that.

Bro I ask del taco register

@@philipfahy9658 bro spittin life advice

I often get older guys telling me i'm pouring light when I'm standing right in front of them pouring the drinks using measures.

@@Alastair_ how is this not pouring light? Here to get drunk not to piss

I’m dead

@Bbouy. Thanks for that. Kept playing that bit back and couldn’t work out what he was saying.

Tbh the guy looks like a male feminist so he was probably angry Roe v Wade got overturned

I don’t get it? Wtf do American abortion laws have to do with the rest of the world?

Pedostache thought he was going to pull with that joke.

they do not expect to get away with it because they are drinking thy expect to get away with it because they just spent 100$ for 4 beers and one rum and coke that tasted like it was mixed by my 97-year-old grand pa. last time i went to a bar i was in college and i just remember thinking i can just do this at home for way cheaper. i still remember going to that bar and having to explain to the bar tender how to make an old fashion and just giving up and asking for a rum & coke.

Not me but a friend used to e Work at a hot dog wagon outside a nightclub. One night the bouncers refused entry to guy because he was to drunk, he threatened to call the police if they didn't let him in. The dumba** called th police and they let him in, in drunk tank.

As a bartender, I bow to you kind sir. Kind Regards, every Bartender.

Drink hard, tip big, leave early. Bartenders will love you for it.

I've been to bars on occasion. And I'm very proud to say that I've never tipped a bartender in my life. Those people make gobs of cash and I don't.

@@since1876 Well you could bartend you know if you’re jealous of the money

@@since1876 fuck em honestly. "inflation" means you end up paying $10 for a jack and coke and still short you. I'd leave a negative tip sometimes if i could.

I admit I'm so bitter now I sometimes say things that some would consider a bit..rude Had a guy come up last week and order 12 baby Guinness, I flat out said "Nope, not doing them", when he asked why I said "Any shot that requires cutlery to make can just fuck off" He didn't really understand what was going on.

@@Alastair_ you're so right, any layered shot can piss off

Nah 3:24

Stop watering the alcohol

Be quiet child, wait until you have half a decade under your belt at least.

thx mate. say hi to optimus for me

@@SungaAttack I Will Autobots Roll Out.

Then don't go to clubs where they have 2 bartenders on for a room of 300 people with music so loud you can't hear anything else.

cheers was a piss of piece