How do I deal with life feeling meaningless after loss?

  Рет қаралды 9,779

Megan Devine

Megan Devine

Жыл бұрын

Even if you're doing all of the "right things" to take care of yourself inside your grief, life can still feel like a big, gray meaningless void. So how do you deal with that? You can't inspire yourself out of those feelings of blankness. But you CAN care for yourself inside where you are.
How you care for yourself inside those blank spots before the world starts to feel interesting again - honestly, I think this is one of the hardest parts of grief to navigate. Hard, but not impossible.
You have questions about grief. I have answers.
Want to ask me a question? Every month, I host a live video Q&A session for my patrons. If you've wanted to talk to me, but didn't know how to gain access - my monthly patron Q&A is your place.
You have questions about grief. I have answers.
Want to ask me a question? Every month, I host a live video Q&A session for my patrons. If you've wanted to talk to me, but didn't know how to gain access - my monthly patron Q&A is your place.
Sign up at / megandevine to get immediate access to upcoming Q&A sessions and all of our previous Q&A recordings. We've been doing these calls for a long time - that's a lot of videos!
Want more info about how all of this Patreon stuff works? Go to / megandevine for a detailed explanation.

Пікірлер: 48
@nancyschaefer9748
@nancyschaefer9748 Жыл бұрын
Material things mean so little now. The care you gave your loved one has no where to go…
@maryannmartinez9425
@maryannmartinez9425 Жыл бұрын
I havent cared if i lived or died latly.i feel so empty
@Sueh2112
@Sueh2112 Жыл бұрын
He was all I’d ever known and in a FLASH he was gone. We were together since we 16. We were married almost 40 and I don’t who I am without half of me missing. Just can’t seem to navigate this mess.
@meeluanistyn1644
@meeluanistyn1644 Жыл бұрын
Two days ago I went for a long 55 minute walk in the nearby countryside. Blue skies, fluffy clouds, warm spring sunshine, birds, wildfowl on the lake. My body went for that walk; my head was elsewhere and I kept asking myself “What’s the point of anything anymore?” I cam home feeling tired but unsatisfied with the walk - it was just mechanical exercise with no engagement with the beautiful natural world around me. That’s so unlike me.
@kerryfoster1
@kerryfoster1 10 ай бұрын
I also went walking and felt empty, However during the walk I saw butterflies fliting around just doing what they do. They don't question what they do they just live their lives and die. That is what I do now. Despite such painful loss and sadness and wanting to be with her. I must go on for the people who WILL NEED me in the future. That is the point - I will be needed by others. I will give them whatever it takes. THAT is why I remain! xxx
@meeluanistyn1644
@meeluanistyn1644 8 ай бұрын
@@kerryfoster1 Just revisited Megan's wonderful video and re-read your beautiful reply. Things have moved on in the last 6 months - the grief is always there however I'm giving to others through volunteering and that is a purpose I have in life. I'm also moving house as I've decided that I want a fresh start and need to honour everyone I loved who has died by creating my own new life and making the very best of the short time we all have on this earth. Your comment "I will give them whatever it takes" resonates with my mindset now. Thank you for your reply.
@JoellePretty
@JoellePretty Жыл бұрын
There's just no joy. Everything is shades of gray. Losing your person is not something I thought I would have to deal with at this age. I genuinely don't know that I want to be here without them.
@michaeld.williamsiii9026
@michaeld.williamsiii9026 Жыл бұрын
I feel the exact same way, sincerest condolences to you also, @Joelle. 🥺😰😔Being parentless and adopted so much loss. So much stripped away, I don’t see or feel the point of being anymore…💔🌏😢 #GriefHurts 💔🥀💔
@JoellePretty
@JoellePretty Жыл бұрын
@@michaeld.williamsiii9026 I am so sad with you, Michael. I realized this weekend after a really bleak moment that I actually have the tiniest sliver of hope that things will get better. I want that for you, too. 💗💗💗
@Supportdog2020
@Supportdog2020 6 ай бұрын
The pain is so unbearable sometimes but we must try to keep busy and not dwell on the loss I am struggling can’t even function lost my job don’t want to go on it is just hard to survive I don’t like meds and can’t afford therapy I have a couple of people I can talk to mostly by text because I’m such a mess
@JoellePretty
@JoellePretty 6 ай бұрын
It's truly trying to live moment to moment and not listen to the stories we tell ourselves.@@Supportdog2020
@d2B2023
@d2B2023 Ай бұрын
​@@Supportdog2020sending you so much love and strength. Feel so very much the same
@maryellenstankovich1511
@maryellenstankovich1511 Жыл бұрын
I don't make plans these days. I just do my life day to day.
@kamaldeepjohal9372
@kamaldeepjohal9372 10 ай бұрын
I just don't fill in my diary anymore.
@bipinparmar7645
@bipinparmar7645 Жыл бұрын
Yep life still sucks after 2 and a bit years of widow hood, in the kitchen now listen to your vid and thinking WHAT IS THE POINT of carrying on, but I do and I am still here just not got the bottle to do any thing about it sad isn’t.
@carolyngreen223
@carolyngreen223 Жыл бұрын
I so needed this message today. Breathe….widowhood sucks
@pippajennings5856
@pippajennings5856 10 ай бұрын
I lost my dog 6 weeks ago. He was my life. I also developed some chronic illnesses at the same time. I list my purpose, my routine, my dreams and my only friend all at once. I hate my life now and I desperately want to change it but I have absolutely no idea what to do. This has really helped me realise I dont need to make a massive single change, so I don't feel so overwhelmed. Thankyou Update: 6 months this week since he died. Still cry and miss him every day. Still feel life is fucking meaningless. But I do try to do something that doesn't suck every day and keep hoping
@anthonyd7425
@anthonyd7425 11 ай бұрын
2 years out and I feel exactly like you explain. It's so freaking hard sometimes. Thank you for this.
@MrCanuckDon
@MrCanuckDon Жыл бұрын
Thank you! "Right now it is like this" is what we have to keep reminding ourselves. I adopted the two words "for now" over this past year since losing my partner. I hate how my everyday is but then I add that it's this way "for now". I force myself to say it. Today sucks but there's a possibility that tomorrow won't suck as much.
@finquero74
@finquero74 11 ай бұрын
Thank you for your words. It does help to think like that..."for now". I am so Sorry for your lost. My partner died last year. Thank you
@dburch7894
@dburch7894 7 ай бұрын
I don’t know what I’am doing here anymore.
@jennifershort3104
@jennifershort3104 11 ай бұрын
Since both my parents died within 15 months of each other I realize how much really doesn't matter. I am in the exploration of what I want in my life 8 months after my mother's loss. It's a real challenge. I have to take it a day at a time, even an hour at a time, because the future isn't reality. I can't even allow myself to imagine it. It's too overwhelming. It truly sucks.
@jennifershort3104
@jennifershort3104 9 ай бұрын
It's a whole life change. It wasn't my choice to still be here. Every. single. day. is. a. fight.
@sherianderson22
@sherianderson22 2 ай бұрын
My husband of thirty years, was the only person who really knew me and gave me purpose.
@anoukgoosen2109
@anoukgoosen2109 12 күн бұрын
thank you 🙏 super helpfull 🤲🌺 a healing flower for everyone's heart here 🍀
@mariacvonloewenfeld6713
@mariacvonloewenfeld6713 7 ай бұрын
A year ago , when I moved to my new house, I started to feed the birds everyday. It took qiet a while before the started comong regularly. That me smile and give some purpose to my life. Then I added lots of flower pots, and too make feel glad. Last but not least, i have been the happy care taker of one humming bird who refuses to share his yard or feeder. Small steps but oh so meaningful in my broken hearted life. Hope I can find more to fill this gapping wound caused when my love made his transition into the Spirit world.
@charlesfleming6779
@charlesfleming6779 5 ай бұрын
Beautiful.
@nanceenurse
@nanceenurse 5 ай бұрын
I feed the birds everyday, too. They wiz by the window if the suet feeder is empty. It's such a simple pleasure, caring for them and watching them. But, they are giving me more that I am giving them. They keep me grounded.
@nanceenurse
@nanceenurse 5 ай бұрын
It's absolutely so difficult at every level, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual & financial. It's so disorienting. I had prepared myself somewhat, but you never really can, the void is so large now. We all need hope that these feelings are what grief is and can share with others our pain and to continue to just go through this. It's so hard to articulate how awful it feels.
@terryparrish8477
@terryparrish8477 5 ай бұрын
I agree. The complex feelings of the emotional turmoil of deep grief can't be put into words. It's indescribable. It has to be experienced in order to be understood. That's why no one could've ever prepared me for it. And this is why it's so hard to talk to anyone else about it. (Unless they've gone through (or, are going through) something very similar.) And, the other part of it, is our now changed life (from top-to-bottom, now that we've lost the most important person in the world to us.) For most of us, this has absolutely rocked us down to our foundation and made every aspect of daily life these days very different. (And, not in a good way !) I can't help but look back and think that I was living a charmed life, before (compared to the life that I have, now.)
@nanceenurse
@nanceenurse Ай бұрын
@@terryparrish8477 Exactly how I feel. I thought I would "handle" this better than I have been (loss of spouse). He was my emotional center so it's difficult to explain in mere words.
@JoellePretty
@JoellePretty Жыл бұрын
To your last comment, I think it's more about the "why should I" than the "how..."
@rhondabarlow860
@rhondabarlow860 Жыл бұрын
I thought we would grow very old together and die together.....hours, days, months apart. We aren't....he wasn't....old at all. When he died, I literally thought my heart would stop beating -- it didn't. My son's beating heart called out my shattered weeping heart and demanded it continue to beat. It did. My heart is still shattered and it weeps almost daily BUT it now wants to beats.
@starstuff5958
@starstuff5958 10 ай бұрын
yes, I cry daily also..it's 4 months and I just spent two days in bed wondering why I'm still here....what is the point?? Someone tell me that.
@rhondabarlow860
@rhondabarlow860 10 ай бұрын
The point is there are people in the land of the living who would benefit from you sharing your life with them. There is meaning in getting up and out to sprinkle the community with love and care. Loving on others who need the love, pumps life back into one's soul.....heart.
@gregap8282
@gregap8282 2 ай бұрын
My dad died on March 31, and ever since I can't stop thinking that life has no meaning, you come here just to die. I feel an odd emptiness, an indescribable sadness. I've suffered depression in the past, but this feels different.
@d2B2023
@d2B2023 Ай бұрын
Thank you for this sooooooo much. ❤ I lost my partner almost a year and a half ago and this resonates sooooooo very strongly . Yesterday I felt like I was at Day 1 again. Just soooooo exhausted of asking "What is the actual meaning"
@janingham1823
@janingham1823 4 ай бұрын
Thank you Megan…. I wonder if there is a video on suicide. I see other posters have commented on that as well. My husband and I had a pact that we would go together. Cancer took him far too early Part of me wants to honor that pact……. And everyday I plead to him to come back for me so I don’t have to make a conscious decision. 4 months in…. 💔. I don’t want to live without him. I don’t want an empty life of filling in the blanks. I don’t want to live a life of missing him, and just learning to deal with the pain. It’s been a long painful journey to get to my age…. And I am tired.
@refugeingrief
@refugeingrief 4 ай бұрын
Here you go: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pLlkm9ScuLDZooE.htmlsi=ewONWNhAbP0FT_gf
@amandameunier4157
@amandameunier4157 10 ай бұрын
These are great life questions regardless of whether or not your grieving. ❤
@Dontknowanymoreee1
@Dontknowanymoreee1 Ай бұрын
I miss my fiance badly. Without him I don't remember who I am, what I wanted. I don't want anything anymore, I don't have any goals. Life feels like a prison sentence
@videosparaprek7243
@videosparaprek7243 Жыл бұрын
i want to care for street cats now! like with intensity…it is what literally gives me a sense and physical strength to get out of bed…my own furry children don’t inspire that anymore….😢 they will go too sooner than later and it will crush me again…the street kitties force me to live in the moment…i say goodbye to them everyday because i don’t know if i will see them alive next day…do i make sense??😢
@rhondabarlow860
@rhondabarlow860 Жыл бұрын
Yes........
@pippajennings5856
@pippajennings5856 9 ай бұрын
I think that is a lovely idea and I wish you well with caring for the cats that need love now x
@goga5104
@goga5104 2 ай бұрын
Yes you do.
@susanbusby46
@susanbusby46 10 ай бұрын
Thank you, your words are so true and realistic, it was good to hear something describe how I am feeling
@pjones7012
@pjones7012 5 ай бұрын
thank you for your time and effort with these messages. i/we need your help.
@KathyAlone2023
@KathyAlone2023 4 ай бұрын
What doesn't suck today, that'll work.
The "this time last year" anniversary countdown
7:42
Megan Devine
Рет қаралды 1,5 М.
НРАВИТСЯ ЭТОТ ФОРМАТ??
00:37
МЯТНАЯ ФАНТА
Рет қаралды 2,2 МЛН
Despicable Me Fart Blaster
00:51
_vector_
Рет қаралды 24 МЛН
How do you reconnect with friends after loss?
6:49
Megan Devine
Рет қаралды 1,6 М.
Is it bad if you start feeling... better?
5:54
Megan Devine
Рет қаралды 1,3 М.
How to live after your soulmate has died | Michelle Thaller
7:05
How Grief and Loss Affects the Brain
7:59
Jo McRogers Grief Support That Works
Рет қаралды 14 М.
Julia Samuel on grief, post traumatic growth and dealing with our dark side
1:08:44
Crisis What Crisis? podcast
Рет қаралды 14 М.
The Physical Symptoms of Grief
9:04
Therapy in a Nutshell
Рет қаралды 556 М.
"Advice" For the Freshly Grieving
10:08
Feelings & Co | Nora McInerny
Рет қаралды 56 М.