How do I get ideas out of my head? (New Idea For Sharing Content...)

Рет қаралды 20,906

Жыл бұрын

I have a new idea... but how to tell you? Words don't always come easily. I'm hoping by doing a LIVE event, then I'll be able to express myself. Come join us live and find out! (and prepare for it to be interactive - I think I'll need the feedback!)
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👋Welcome to Autism From The Inside!!!
If you're autistic or think you or someone you love might be on the autism spectrum, this channel is for you!
I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this channel in the first place because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.
Join me as I share what I've found along my journey, so you don't have to learn it the hard way.
Make sure to subscribe so you won’t miss my new video every Friday and some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
➡️️ / @autismfromtheinside
👋Connect with me:
➡️️ Patreon: / aspergersfromtheinside
➡️️ Facebook: / autismfromtheinside.co...
➡️️ Twitter: / aspiefrominside
➡️️ Written Blog: aspergersfromtheinside.com/
➡️️ Email: aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy my channel!
Peace,
~ Paul
#autism #asd #autismawareness #actuallyautistic

Пікірлер: 281

@justlisten9435 Жыл бұрын

Of all the YT channels focussing on autism, yours makes information the most accessible and digestible. Very good entry point for various issues. However, seeing the "real" side is also appreciated - it is more relatable when someone tells you they struggle with something, and then actually show you what it looks like when they struggle. A very vulnerable thing to do, yes.

@janiebrown5972 Жыл бұрын

I can’t thank you enough for this video and you should be very proud of yourself. I have the exactly same problem with communicating with people. It’s all in my head but trying to get it out in a sensible manner is so hard. I am a 56 year old female. I have struggled my whole life with life, If that makes sense. When I was younger, I was often told by my teachers that I was slow, or I wasn’t trying hard enough. Someone once asked me why I was so thick. I was a day dreamer. I was labelled as being shy, which I hate. That label has stayed with me. I wasn’t shy, I was socially awkward. When people tell you these things constantly, you begin to believe them. I always thought I was just stupid. Then a few years ago I read something about inattentive ADHD and I suddenly realised I was reading about myself. I just sat and cried. I went to school in the uk in the 70s and I’m afraid the education system let me down badly. I discovered through watching you tube videos, such as your one, that I have Autistic traits. When I was younger I hated my mum holding my hand too slack. It made me feel angry to the point it would make me cry. If my socks were inside out or if my sleeves were too long, I cried and felt anger. I hate cardigans without buttons because they flap about too much. It all started to make sense in my head. I am in the process of being diagnosed. I feel like I have lost out in life in a few ways. But thanks to you and other you tubers I am hoping I can find the real me and not hide behind a mask anymore 😊 Thank you x

@kayjay-kreations Жыл бұрын

Diagnosed at 58 here , a female who had no Idea I was autistic.makes sense now.

@messykeys7955 Жыл бұрын

I’m saving this video cause it explains my whole life experience perfectly, basically. I’ve been learning Japanese for the past 5 years and, surprisingly enough, I’ve been learning how to socially express myself through it better than through English! Of course the thing about vocabulary and grammar rings true as well though and in combination with the whole ‘fully developing an idea is invigorating/fulfilling/accessible’ thing it’s kind of discouraging to never be able to express what I fully think about something in Japanese. But again, surprisingly enough, I’m getting more of my incomplete ideas out in Japanese than in English simply because perfection isn’t an option. Also, completely relate to the ‘taking a week to make a 5 minute presentation’ as well! It’s painful and tiring but it’s my life, so. Even this message right now is getting too tiring for me to complete my train of thought in… it’s getting more and more vague- sorry if this isn’t making sense anymore lol. Thank you! Bye (:

@Uhfffyeah Жыл бұрын

It's tiring because you hold too many ideas in your head at the same time. Try writing everything down on a notepad or a sheet of paper, just write down keywords and write your texts or make your presentations afterwards. You need to do a brainstorming and connect your ideas and with that you can work

@OliviaWood14 Жыл бұрын

I have had a similar experience with Japanese (and living in Japan for a year)! For me, the fact that many Japanese people assume that non-Japanese (-looking) people will not understand the social customs was quite helpful, because it meant that a) such customs are frequently actually explained to you explicitly [also in... 教科書..] and that b) people are a lot more forgiving. I feel like doing an exchange year in Japan while I was a teenager had, in a way, taught me about how social customs work, which made things a lot easier afterwards (which on the downside probably increased masking a lot...). On the language level as well, I speak several languages but Japanese is the one I feel most relaxed in even though my level is not quite as high as in other languages and I think it's because I am very clearly a 外人, which means Japanese people are already impressed if I can say anything and don't usually get upset at me messing up, which means I don't need to worry as much about accidentally upsetting or offending people.

@angryducklinginstitution76 Жыл бұрын

いいですね、友達！私和ケビｲンです。よろしくおねがいします!

@chriscobb2102 Жыл бұрын

100 percent

@kathybramley5609 Жыл бұрын

I used to read phrase books a bit obsessively in a similar way. Though I think it was more the idea of using than knowing or being confident that it was actually useful to me.

@dm64211 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this 'half-formed' content. It's relatable to see your real-time struggle. I think most of us are watching your content because we feel unpolished in a world where we have such a high bar for ourselves. Seeing that we are not alone in that struggle is very powerful. Thank you.

@DylanT6791 Жыл бұрын

Paul, you are really doing an amazing job! I have been watching your weekly videos for over a year now and they have been immensely helpful. I am autistic and share many of the communication issues and concerns that you encounter. I would like to say that I have nothing but respect for all your hard work. As you know, being autistic is tough, but I very much value your wisdom and encouragement to overcome challenges and thrive in such a complex world.

@linden5165 Жыл бұрын

Very relatable honestly, especially the bit about sometimes struggling to communicate even with ourselves. I have a big fear of being misinterpreted too - for good reason because there's a painful history with that and it's quite triggering when it happens again. I do think there is value in having social space to process, ponder things, have those raw thoughts, consider things we may abandon later or may become a discovery. I really like closed autistic support groups for that - it's a good place to work things out. I find it easier with written communication than speech. Space to communicate imperfectly is so important, it takes away so much pressure.

@Jas-zzz Жыл бұрын

Yes I've felt Like I was loosing my mind at how bad people would misinterpret things I say and do! The better I thought I do the worse it got I was so depressed over that for years and have been feeling better since finding thi channel I think like about 3 years ago. So grateful I am not alone in this anymore.

@normantouchet4185 Жыл бұрын

I find it easier face to face

@slogger1345 Жыл бұрын

I can soo relate to what you say. I look neuro-typical but, I struggle to communicate effectively with my own family, business colleagues etc. The only time I can communicate reasonably easily is with a good friend, someone I really trust. God Bless you Brother… 53 yr old Aspie.

@5heinens Жыл бұрын

I don’t need the live stuff. I love being able to watch and rewatch your pre recorded videos. Also, half formed ideas are great to share. Often it can open the door to discussion and others can help you complete your ideas or even just keep exploring. Your videos have been the very best out there in how to deal with autism and ND relationships. Thank you so much for not only shedding some light, but for showing solutions and giving hope! Your autism channel is the best one out there!

@koalamama2 Жыл бұрын

Every part of this video was so healing for me! Yes, I relate to every point, so deeply! Ahhhhh, thank you =)

@LauradeVasconcelos Жыл бұрын

I'm a freelance artist and I basically depend on communication to get gigs and therefore I'm facing a lot of difficulties in finding work because I cannot communicate and or share ideas :( people think I'm arrogant, I keep isolating myself because I fear they will misinterpret like they always do, if I try contacting again

@trishapotter3118 11 ай бұрын

Maybe tell them your autism

@rileywalstrom3037 Жыл бұрын

Man, I appreciate your videos so much. I've been told by multiple friends who have autism that I seem autistic, but I've never been diagnosed with autism because it's hard to find a Dr in my area who is willing to diagnose adults. My therapist has been trying for awhile. Anyway, I appreciate your videos because I relate on so many levels. Thank you.

@shannondykes3115 Жыл бұрын

My son often agonizes over word choices and will often melt down when I paraphrase my understanding of what he said back to him. He stresses if it isn’t word for word. When you speak of your fears of saying things unclearly I understand his anxiety better. I like sharing 1/2 formed ideas because there is less stress on the other person to understand and repeat perfectly what has just been said. You are building an idea together. The people who communicate with autistic speakers have a great deal of stress and fear of speaking incorrectly too.

@mcdjinn6975 Жыл бұрын

He fears being misunderstood, and the possible consequences of being misunderstood.

@solangelalebron1348 Жыл бұрын

No we don't. We just communicate with them. Period. We're not fearing anything. We don't have to have problems to communicate with the Autistic. Probably people in our family behave like that so we're just used to it.

@jimlawrence344 Жыл бұрын

Boys who operate from their feelings and become men who operate from their feelings and emotions and up in the prison system gamma shot by police because they're misunderstood and they tend to act out their emotions even in adulthood and that is tragic. Boys need masculine mentors gamma to regulate their emotions and use their rationality. Don't turn your boy into a girl, he'll make you suffer for it and he will too. Please check out Rollo tomassi rational male

@rileywalstrom3037 Жыл бұрын

I know I've already commented, but I wanted to add something. Not being able to communicate complete ideas or thoughts to others has been an issue for me as well. I've found that keeping multiple KZfaq playlists for various topics is extremely helpful for me because I can play a song or video or poem for the person I'm with, or I can send them a link to a video. That helps me to get my message across in a form that's been properly organized and makes sense.

@normantouchet4185 Жыл бұрын

I do this also

@tnix80 6 ай бұрын

This is how I communicated ideas with my GF

@stuartrushworth5487 Жыл бұрын

These days I find myself making speeches at people. On the whole I feel this is an improvement on decades making confused points or else saying nothing at all. I channeled a lot of my energies into writing poems and stories, but I was confused as a writer too. Even writing this comment has been a process of much untangling. Training as an artist helped me use my confusion in a positive way. When I was younger the part of my communication that I was missing was meaning. I think I borrowed what others meant and then arranged my own words to decorate it. But all the while I knew I had a meaning of my own but which was being received like I was from another country, if not another world. Now that I am remarkably old I am a member of a rather inarticulate age group, and for some reason I am arriving from solitude and silence while others in my generation are gradually heading into it. Art, again, has helped me understand there are many languages - of the heart and of the mind - and that social language (which I had no ability to use) was only one of them.

@user-nm3ug3zq1y 2 ай бұрын

Your super-meticulous approach makes sense whenever the recipient can't ask you anything. So basically for every text that's written in advance. Novels for example. I wished more novelists (or their editors) actually tried that more. Because half of the time you can't even be sure of what they wanted to say.

@caddieohm7059 Жыл бұрын

I write poetry. I write poetry in my head. As soon as words hit paper they crumble to ashes. There are perfect poems in my head. They are perfect. As soon as I lay them down they betray me. Like throwing out a fishing net and when I pull it it's heavy with fish and when I land it they are all gone. As soon as I open my mouth my heavy wordfish swim away from me and I'm left caught, tangled up in an empty fishing net that scars me in the shape of letters.

@hiltonm2885 Жыл бұрын

This is awesome and exactly the same problem I struggle with when trying to communicate with people - especially if the topic is a difficult subject. I struggle to know where to begin in the first place but then I also try (too hard) to make my communication as precise and perfect (easy to understand) as possible for the other person which just makes it stressful and harder for me. Thankfully I am learning that I don't need to be perfect and it is much less stressful (and more effective) to just say what I am thinking to 'let it out of my head' while the idea or thought is still small and managable and then expand on it later or explain deeper if it is needed. Ie. Let the other person decide if they understand or not and let them ask any questions they need to ask to clarify. Thankyou!!!

@normantouchet4185 Жыл бұрын

I agree with you 💯

@tnix80 6 ай бұрын

I rehearse what I'm going to say. It's why writing is so much easier, and why I have OCD and edit my comments. I've given into it again as you can see. 😅

@ACottageGirl Жыл бұрын

This is very relatable… I am just at the very beginning of this journey of understanding and possibly seeking a diagnosis with autism…and I’m stressed about communicating correctly with my doctor about *why* I am seeking an assessment. I tend to do best ‘off the cuff’… and don’t follow my own notes very well. I am a ‘performer’ in that I’m great on stage without much script. I literally talk out loud to myself all day long {I’m a homemaker… meaning no job, kids raised}, and I always say ‘thanks for coming to my Ted talk’ …and consider this practice for actual conversations and discussions. I also suspect my very small circle of friends and my family are ND as well, so we go deep fast, and we ‘get’ each other and riff off each other’s comments and ideas pretty well. Doesn’t work as well with NT folks like my doctor Anyway, wordy way of saying i get you, i resonate, and happy to have stumbled upon your channel.

@leeleegirl8612 Жыл бұрын

Hi Paul! You have come a long way since your early videos when you had to bounce a ball to hold a train of thought. You are an amazing speaker now. I am not autistic and I fear the same things.

@harrietwindebank6051 Жыл бұрын

I liked the ball bouncing!! Helped me concentrate. I can see how it may be distracting for others though!!

@lucinaexiga4226 Жыл бұрын

⁸

@LiamGoodrick Жыл бұрын

@@harrietwindebank6051 Me too

@leeow3n Жыл бұрын

You might find that he never "needed" to bounce a ball like a permanent thing, but in those moments that he did it simply felt good and helpful. Life is a dynamic journey and sometimes you bounce a ball because it helps you hold a train of thought and sometimes you don't.

@leeleegirl8612 Жыл бұрын

Interesting..

@pjkarels Жыл бұрын

I resonate so much with your sharing near the beginning of how difficult it is to communicate ideas to others and remember all that you've thought of that you want to communicate to others. I come to with things while I'm thinking about something, but then almost all of it "poofs" away from my mind as soon as I go to jot it down.

@JONNYSORENSEN_AU Жыл бұрын

My struggle (particularly at work) is when I suggest a useful idea, only to be ignored or misunderstood, and then several days later, or a week, someone else suggests the EXACT SAME IDEA based on fairly obvious observations for anyone with a brain - that I already suggested, and at that point it's a great idea, hey let's go with it. from someone else. But if suggest it. Forget about it. 🙃

@crystalshadesoflightworker Жыл бұрын

You do explain this difficult issue we genuinely face so very well! As a fellow late diagnosed Autistic I can relate so well to all that you explained here. It is my lived experience!

@davidhanifin2692 Жыл бұрын

Half formed ideas are excellent. You get to share your expertise & vice versa. Paul, it's empowering for all.👍

@delphinewood7519 Жыл бұрын

At 25 minutes in, I said out loud “there’s the answer to your challenge!“ Record some of your idea beginnings, not necessarily live. Hold onto it until the idea becomes something interesting in any way. Then do a video where you introduce the half baked idea, show your initial recording that you had kept private until now, and finish with thoughts on how it turned out and how communication between others may have helped. You did it! I share your channel info often. Thanks!🌵

@loriwhitney965 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for posting this!! You have changed my life...thank you for giving me words....my whole life I thought it was only me and then I found your videos...and I'm not the only one thank you!

@catherinejames2734 Жыл бұрын

This is exactly what my experience is. I have tried so hard to articulate with as much clarity as I can, then probably over sharing in an effort to cover lots of information still trying to not be misunderstood. A recent experience really did my head in as I realised the person still totally missed the point I was trying to maker. I give up on that particular person now, but am doing battle with myself as to whether I need another new strategy or just give myself a break and don’t even bother with people I’m not close to. Socially I think I might feel better to just keep how I feel to myself and concentrate more on the type of person I’m trying to just get along with at a distance.

@Quadrajettison Жыл бұрын

Just leave this unedited. We can understand the point and it stands on its own. Agree that talking while ideas are half formed can be symbiotic and draw out the ideas. Society places to much emphasis on articulate verbal prowess to the detriment of everything else. We are constantly bombarded with superficial images policticians, celebrities etc whose only real ability is in presenting a public chattering persona.

@Judymontel Жыл бұрын

I would vote YES for you to more often have Lives, put on the camera the way you did today without a plan. I found this live to be really interesting, I read along what the chat said as well and even though I couldn't watch it live because of the time difference for me, I felt like I was present at a fascinating and wide-ranging conversation. It has been a valuable experience - thank you!!

@ros8986 Жыл бұрын

Paul - it is so lovely to spend time with you just being as you are. Rambling is lovely. PS I think your beard is gorgeous. I think that presenting part of an idea with the explicitly stated intention of inviting others to participate (through their comments) in helping you flesh out your idea, I think this is a lovely thing to do. And there will be people whose comments are not useful to you, and that is ok (or at least I hope you can be ok with that). Mostly non-fiction yt is about people presenting solutions, and it would be lovely to have some yt which presents a space which is open to creative participation from the viewers.

@mythias Жыл бұрын

I vote yes to more live and just going with it. I like to see real as they say. Also, the more we can see ourselves reflected back at us, the better IMO.

@Samdegraff Жыл бұрын

One thing in my own journey that I discovered is that if you manage to get what you need to survive without having to compromise who you are (a rare thing I realise) all of this stress over miscommunication goes away. because you are no longer dependent on accurate communication with "neurotypicals" to keep fed and have a roof over your head. So you can gravitate towards those whom both understand you, and whom you understand. if you have to deal with normies all day, every day, it can be intensely stressful. But if you are left to your own devices and allowed to hang around with who you want to, it's a whole different ball game.

@jesuiscequejesuis2267 Жыл бұрын

I relate to so much of what you talked about. Love that bicycle speed analogy; and how you feel the need to express yourself perfectly to avoid misunderstanding only to find it fails. I get frustrated with online communication because, while it allows me to express my ideas succinctly and completely, it usually results in a wall of text that the recipient largely ignores. I have an enormous fear of being misinterpreted. Having said that, I basically only communicate online. When I have half-formed ideas I note them down for my own benefit and then I find I'm more likely to mull them over in my subconscious and build on them.

@hispoiema Жыл бұрын

Yes, the "fishing idea" is something I learned on my own to express myself - stressful around NTs but great when alone writing my thoughts or just thinking. I didn't know it had a name. Makes sense. When writing a paper, I would write all my thoughts on separate pages (word docs or whatever) and then look at them all and figure out how they go together in a cohesive and orderly way while embellishing.

@JoJohXD Жыл бұрын

Love you doing an live!! The visual contact is lacking even in the making of videos (things I notice in myself) thanks for the realness you put on KZfaq.... I see myself in you... But I don't have the diagnosis 😒

@Jas-zzz Жыл бұрын

Hey there's nothing wrong with that either!☺

@Jas-zzz Жыл бұрын

Dude Paul let me tell you how amazed you articulated and organized your videos!!!😳Now I understand how much work goes behind the scenes. Thank you so much you've helped me so much. As a women and a mother I have truly found common ground and understanding myself. Why not, not, putting to much pressure on your self and when you feel like it, freestyle, like your doing this time and I will have your back . For my part at least.This is nice too but don't feel bad if you want to structure up a more planned out video to as well! As those are amazing too. Also I love a lot of the points everyone is bringing out in the comments as well🤔!

@leela7816 Жыл бұрын

Paul, I am enjoying your videos very much. Your calm and thoughtful delivery is to be commended. You did an excellent job in this first live video. Your videos are so helpful for us to understand those who are autistic. Thank you for your hard work. You are helping more people than you realize, autistic or not. God bless you and your mission in helping us ALL. ❤️

@isatheone Жыл бұрын

I love the way he always describes my personal experiences so accurately😭💗

@ros8986 Жыл бұрын

maybe we like "paul randomly talks to camera" 😀 I think you underestimate your gentle charm.

@thefablednook Жыл бұрын

Lol yes…. And it doesn’t hurt that he is a handsome lil devil 😂

@californiadreaming567 Жыл бұрын

I think your communication is great 🎉 I listen to several different podcasters on different subjects but I enjoys yours the most. I have not seen you “half baked” thoughts. 😊❤

@theageofgoddess Жыл бұрын

I have the same experience with most people, it's getting easier now as I get older. It takes a lot of practice, what you spoke of in the beginning, self acceptance of your own personal style and not have expectations. It's the same for me, the monkeys, one after the other, almost always now. But my memory is constantly changing. It's frustrating, I know. But it forces us to rethink the same ideas differently, that's how I look at it. Feedback is huge. Feedback is how we learn, we really need it now. I'm having the same realizations at 50. Many people still prefer to bully difference , instead of trying to understand that everyone is different and none of us are immaculate. If we try to understand each other by all making this effort, we'd all make a lot of progress.

@hananas222 Жыл бұрын

Hi Paul, I just recently found your channel and just want to say a big Thank you for showing up for all of us. Your videos are really needed! I recognize myself in mostly everything you’re talking about and that is so helpful. Thank you 🙏🏼

@Bassbarbie Жыл бұрын

Love the bike analogy. I think I often fall over 😂

@Tribolumins Жыл бұрын

I appreciated this live stream of thought as it is closer to my lived experience than your fully prepared, recorded performances (which are also useful for succinctly communicating complex ideas). To overcome anxiety one approach is to gradually expose yourself to the source of the anxiety with appropriate support available. I hope that this public channel is that space so it can support more people, but I would understand if you wanted to keep it to Patrion supporters as a safer space. Love your work. Please keep it up (from the UK) 🙂

@El-ks4ff Жыл бұрын

Sharing half formed ideas promotes creativity, I think.

@kylealfonse6196 Жыл бұрын

Collecting the partial thoughts and making them complete is also a major struggle, I like the monkey analogy but that takes coordination that I find difficult also

@aahmad1422 Жыл бұрын

Your natural flow helps a lot in relating so well🙏🙏🙏 Please don’t delete anything of your as it can be exactly what we wanted to hear and validate🙏

@kittehpantz Жыл бұрын

I relate to ALL of this and the monkeys analogy and how your brain processes what you are trying to articulate! I don't even know if this is relevant buuuuuut taking my half-formed ideas to other ND folx or having them bring theirs to me, and then having that ND mind meld thing that happens not only helps finish the idea but we come up with 328 more ideas. It gives me SO MUCH DOPAMINE 😍😍😍😍 It's like, all of a sudden the imagination is turned all the way up for all of us, all the bees in our brains are coming together to create these layers of ideas that are modular and buildable, and entirely new worlds are created. It's my favorite ❤️

@galamander_1327 Жыл бұрын

I agree wholeheartedly about the meshing of ideas and building out much greater concepts and experiences when talking with other ND people. It's an accelerated, exciting, fulfilling experience.

@kittehpantz Жыл бұрын

@@galamander_1327 YES! 'Accelerated' is a good way to put it, it's certainly a rapid-fire process!

@rogerpoulin2068 Жыл бұрын

At the age of 71 I am just learning that I have asd. I have been watching your videos and others for a while now and I fully understand what you're saying. I have no trouble understanding what people with asd are trying to say. A big eye opener for me. Thanks for the videos.

@doochens Жыл бұрын

The record is always spinning friend, and It's upon each of us to drop the needle and get into to the groove!

@trentgarland522 Жыл бұрын

I’ve become better at communication over the years. I attribute this to a working in sales. It isn’t a great career for a lot of people but it works for me. I still struggle with recognizing sarcasm, dominating conversation, oversharing (especially when someone asks “how are you” and expects a 1 word answer. It’s a work in progress.

@monicakoch9609 5 ай бұрын

Thank you Paul for sharing, don't remove this video. You've said that which I never know how to explain to people. Even if I write out a script, I tend to talk too fast and something will pop-up in my mind, but I don't know how to get it out there, so then I rather not say anything. And when I try to work from key words or phrases, I can't remember what I wanted to say originally. Also what I want to say never end up coming out right and it's created so much misunderstandings. It's difficult to be among people who just do not get you, but also don't make an effort to meet you halfway in the conversation.

@hanasuzuki1224 8 ай бұрын

Wow! Thank you so much for making this video! I think you explained it perfectly with your examples of the monkeys and riding a bicycle. When I was listening, I just thought "yes! That is my brain! This is how my mind works!"

@cherylyoke4872 Жыл бұрын

I’ve used the bicycle analogy myself lots of times, especially about pedaling fast enough to maintain momentum so the bicycle doesn’t fall over.

@turtle5669 Жыл бұрын

Word! I love you, brother! Thank you so much for pushing the envelope and creating space where we can be heard. Your videos are so helpful and informative. You are a huge inspiration and I really appreciate what you are doing. Blessings

@user-zc9wx2pk8y 11 ай бұрын

When I’m tired this happens to me. There are times when I go mute. It’s helpful to learn that many of us struggle with this!

@PyroDrake1134 Жыл бұрын

I tuned in too late to chat, but I watched the whole stream anyway! Paul, thank you SO MUCH for what you do!!! Having live steam and answering questions sounds amazing, so long as you’re not overloading yourself. I definitely would love to read a book written by you. You’re an amazing person, and I really appreciate everything you do!

@dawntaylor535 9 ай бұрын

Thank you Paul. For expressing yourself and all your ideas/inner thoughts. You are just what the doctor ordered (I know you're not a "doctor diagnosing" 😊 so grateful for you and your presence. Thanks again for helping so many souls. ❤

@anniemac7545 Жыл бұрын

I remember what you're referring to, they were called A Barrel of Monkeys. A Blast from the past. Loved this video, made complete sense to me.

@BetheChange80 Жыл бұрын

You made so much sense. If I talk like these-usually I do, and talk more about how I reached a particular idea or conclusion, and most NeuroTypical ppl would not bother. To the extent I have sometimes advised my son not to ramble when running short of time ..but I do it myself.

@marksharman8029 Жыл бұрын

Accurate and effective communication requires full participation of all parties. Yes the onus is on the person communicating, to determine whether their communication has been effective. There is, though, a reliance of on effort by all parties concerned. Sometimes we can nail it, sometimes not. Words can often be inadequate, when the concepts go beyond normal understanding.

@TheWilliamHoganExperience Жыл бұрын

Thanks Paul! To summarize: "There's a language barrier". This makes perfect sense. The foreiner analogy is apt. I love the chain of monkeys analogy as well. Mine are unruly monkeys as well! Gotta get 'em out of the box fast, or they they're off fighting or playing with each other while swinging through the trees! One way to think about the foreinger thing, is to imagine a native assumes you understand the language. They start talking to you for a minute straight, telling you about nuclear physics. That's exactly what I tend to do when speaking to nuerotypicals about my special interests. Strategey I'm gonna try now: Pretend they don't speak the same language - but a similar one. Assume they know nothing about what I want to discuss. Slow down. Wait to see how they respond. Make ajustments based on their responses. Don't blame self if not understood. Realize that I won't necessarily be able to share all my thoughts, or the same thoughts I might with a native (austistic) person. Because there's a language barrier!

@mosschamp7600 Жыл бұрын

very very relatable, thanks for sharing

@Jas-zzz Жыл бұрын

I love your illustrations you use it great for driving a point or making something more clear. I use them when I speak to others.

@jackblankenship90 7 ай бұрын

I love you dude, im in the same boat. Ive always tried to organize my visions or mindacapes, but more than likely they are distorted words or feelings. After i have the thought/invisioned the scope of things ,then I soon talk myself out of the original topic. I want to connect so bad, but it never seems to hit home. It's always exciting learning new things, but people don't know what's best for themselves and its hard to tell humanity without seeming controlling.

@BaskingInObscurity Жыл бұрын

You get to the nitty gritty of how I, too, struggle with vocal communication versus written. My housemates regularly roleplay (e.g. DnD) and I like the idea of it but personally find it absolutely exhausting. I also struggle to find words to express my thoughts because I mostly don't think in words but abstract images (broader than visual, what eyes do). I'd love to explore how this same language impedance might explain how I can have such a tremendous imagination with complicated (fictional) plots and sense of motives and conspiracies and characterization yet labor painfully over getting it into text. I wish I could record my thoughts, but again I don't really think in words most of the time-or at least not only in words. I DO have constant narration going on in my head. The most obvious "explanation" is that because small talk comes so hard to us (autistics) it must be hard to create realistic dialog. True, but insubstantial as explanation. In my train of thought, words comprise a minority of the elements of my thought stream; so I find even freewriting inadequate to what I'm trying to express. Likewise I have a super difficult time explaining my thoughts in debate or when I'm trying to express an abstract idea verbally. Does all this ring with any of you that like to write? Aspiring authors? Has anybody successfully published having found tools/methods that help them transcend that threshold?

@rodrocket8216 Жыл бұрын

Very relatable vid. Please don't edit it, I'll share this with a cupla people to show the monkeys being pulled out can be random, or barely related, colours/thoughts. Thank you Cobber.

@jackblankenship90 7 ай бұрын

We each hold half formed pieces of consciousness. And i would love to help complete these ideas. It feels like my purpose

@lovepeace2373 Жыл бұрын

This sounds very logical to me. And i think thats a very normal way of comunicating, that the other person tries to understand the idea and meet halfways.

@user-eg8ht4im6x Жыл бұрын

Thank you for doing this like this, your videos are always great and very helpful, but because they are so ‘polished’ we don’t see your real struggles. This video has show me how much like me you are, there is a real struggle to get out what I really think, what I really want to say. Maybe doing a mix, of ‘off hand raw stuff’ and videos of polished stuff as well. The well polished videos are for more education, but this raw chat is great because it’s so re assuring to see that although you struggled to put your thoughts into words, yet I got to see you and understand that you are able to function around this struggle. I haven’t put that into words well, so I hope you understand!

@norismendoza4503 Жыл бұрын

I can't imagine how unnerving it must be to speak on youtube. Let alone at a time where you feel your tongue is not flowing so to speak. I highly respect your willingness to be vulnerable. I know that I am not that courageous. I have such a fear of looking stupid. I think it's perfectly fine to share not fully developed ideas. Particularly if you are looking to develop it and are open to others insights and feedback. It's a think tank of sorts. I like your channel and the information you share. I am new to both. It makes so much sense. It only took 59 years of struggling, searching, loathing myself and feeling flawed. I think this is a safe place. I hope you're encouraged by my words. I have been marathoning on your videos! Thank you.

@cherylyoke4872 Жыл бұрын

Sharing half an idea gives us a chance to collaborate which is nice because then it feels like my contribution may be valuable to you. Then I feel validated as a person, like I matter too.

@enfieldjohn101 Жыл бұрын

The fishing analogy is exactly what I experience. I'll be trying to remember something, so I'll take something that I hope will trigger the memory like something I've just watched, or read, or heard, or even an object I'm experiencing and cast that into the murky depths of my mind. Sometimes I catch 'the big one' and it's exactly what I was hoping I'd remember. Other times, I catch a carp of a similar idea but not what I was hoping for. Still other times, I'll catch a little minnow of another memory triggering image or sound that I'll just cast back in. Unfortunately, sometimes I don't catch anything in time and the whole chance to express what I'd hope to has passed. At those times, I just stammer, or change the subject, or wait for someone I'm trying to talk to change the subject. I even have conversations with my very best friend - my wife - in which I'll just run out of things to say on the subject at hand. Luckily, she understands and goes easy on me about it. I don't blame you for not wanting to talk live very much. I don't think I could do that myself.

@lonefemalecycling Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this. I relate to it soo much... as an artist i often have a million ideas buzzing around my head. I do my best to get them out but sometimes it is overwhelming. If I do somehow share them with others or on paper it does not seem to justify the idea that was in my head at all if that makes sense. Yes to more live streams. 😀

@marenk.3332 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing this! If you should come up with a receip for stopping the Research thing, please please make one more Video also like this, because the accindentally given side informations and thoughts can lead to more! Like little treasures on the way

@harrietwindebank6051 Жыл бұрын

I’ve been blamed and shamed throughout my life for my communication. Because it’s different to non autistic people, most people just dismiss me and they don’t put in the other half of the effort needed for effective communication. But many people (but by no means everyone) generally put a bit more effort in to understanding people where it is obvious that they are communicating in a language that they are not fluent in. Also my ideas don’t form in a linear pattern. Again I get blamed and shamed for being “scattered” rather than anyone trying to understand. I’m also seen as “challenging” when I express my ideas authentically. So for me communicating ideas authentically is an unmasking challenge and I have to face the years of shaming.

@gavinmathew7491 Жыл бұрын

Raw and wonderful. Thank you.

@hispoiema Жыл бұрын

Trying to share half formed ideas: Only with people who are patient and understanding and genuinely want to contribute Only when feeling calm and taking "breath breaks" to calm the mind and keep going (trying to avoid anxiety of mind going blank) I like to brainstorm alone so I can prove to myself that I can do it.

@rebeckajarl3934 Жыл бұрын

I love the "next monkey" metaphor? I use it all the time now, interlocked with "idea bundle" with is my phrase for the chain of monkeys that comes out on paper when I write. My monkey chains often comes out in weird leaps of topics and circles back to the original thought from time to time.

@cynthiagabriel5737 Жыл бұрын

I’m very impressed with your communication skills. You are so good at expressing feelings, experiences and presenting the information in a useful way. I appreciate that you’re working hard to present well but you really are quite articulate!

@richardmiller6328 Жыл бұрын

Hello how're you doing today hope you're doing great with your family may god bless you all 🙏🙏🙏

@jessicabertram9731 Жыл бұрын

You are a great communicator! Completely crisyal clear and retable. Apply "less (of perfectionistic planning/prepping) can actually be more (successful communication)". Thank you so much for expressing my own experience in comunicating ideas!!!

@richardmiller6328 Жыл бұрын

Hello how're you doing today hope you're doing great with your family may god bless you all 🙏🙏🙏

@anutillman Жыл бұрын

Thank you (again!) for putting ideas in my head into meaningful content! 😅😄🙏

@neant2046 Жыл бұрын

28:19 - this is just 100% me :D Recently I also started doing that trick with telling others about my wip kind of ideas to get the motivation to actually get them done, as without it I may come up with a million of excuses at every moment of working on it to give it up if it turns out to be hard (and pretty much every creative stuff is easy to start but hard to finish). Thanks for sharing your ideas on this topic, rambling can sometimes be very helpful.

@gregmitchell3794 Жыл бұрын

Awesome....food for thought. you touch on something we all can work on. kinda like a think tank. Thankyou for coming up with this.

@Rebecca-oz9fu Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for your work and doing these videos. Yes, your communication is coming across loud and clear. I find that it is like you are trying to tell me about me. It helps me to understand many of the difficulties I have with people.

@lauralomonaco5847 Жыл бұрын

Same with the language barrier! My husband is deaf. When we met I didn’t know sign language. Condensing communication helped me understand how most other people interact better.

@lauralomonaco5847 Жыл бұрын

Also, when I used situations from movies or tv shows to express what I was trying to say, he didn’t find it weird. He started doing the same. With us struggling through the language barrier he welcomed this tool to use fewer words.

@lauralomonaco5847 Жыл бұрын

Also, do you know if there have been studies done of neurotypical and autistic people communicating with a language barrier?

@normazelina4224 9 ай бұрын

You are incredibly, have courage, ahead of your time for sure. I completely understand everything you shared. You speak my language clearly! Thank you ❤

@hispoiema Жыл бұрын

You seem more together than me (58, undiagnosed) I have been learning to slow down and take a breath while talking so I will not lose the part that I have already (and also to calm the anxiety that I feel that my mind will go blank if I try to think too hard) and want to say and then possibly more will come as well. Sometimes it flows but that's more of a writing thing than a talking thing for the most part.

@shefelilit2921 Жыл бұрын

i rlly enjoyed this!! its easier for me to take notes if its in the form of a live chat, if only say whats necessary &or most important its sometimes too much at once & i cant keep up so i dont rlly do it. i love the half ideas & i would really want to see more of these! "not everything has to be perfect"!

@meme8540 Жыл бұрын

Agree, and you got your message across really well, I thought. 😊

@sadie6060 Жыл бұрын

I recognise myself in much of what you have said in this video. I’ve not had a diagnosis but my daughter (22) has had a very recent diagnosis of ASD and ADHD (inattentive). I struggle with ideas and communicating them, even with my family. I asked my mum if she’s ever thought I was on the spectrum and she said no, I feel like I have so much to tell her about how i think and feel but I fear that if I start talking about it to her I will sound silly, because what is in my head never comes out properly in conversation. I can write much better than I speak, I’m studying at the moment with the open university and my essays have received good marks, lowest was 96%, but I was never happy with my essays. Part of the course involves online tutorials and forums where we have to write something. I don’t really say anything in the live tutorials because my mind goes blank and I think I’ll just sound unintelligent, and then my tutor will wonder who wrote my essay! In the forums I spend too long, could be a day, writing something that I think doesn’t sound silly or unintelligent. I worry about what the other people will think about me, or that I’ve missed the point of the topic or conversation completely. I worry so much in real conversations that I just don’t speak at all.

@jmaessen3531 Жыл бұрын

This resonated big time. Thank you! Love the monkeys image. Played with those growing up and absolutely think that way sometimes.

@ALR0808 Жыл бұрын

I enjoy these videos. I have been diagnosed as autistic. I am always over or under communicating. I do not feel anxious about it, but I cannot get it "right" - wish it was just ok to alternate between being terse or verbose.

@ThroughTheLensOfAutism Жыл бұрын

This reminds me of creating content about autism on my channel. As yet I have not been brave enough to talk to a camera or a microphone, so I write out my words beforehand. Although lately I have realized this may not be as efficient.

@atanamorell2 Жыл бұрын

Little baby ideas are so cute! 🥰

@spiritmatrix2004 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for this video, it has helped me understand what is holding me back from taking action or executing my creative/ artistic/ business ideas. I now know how to go forward.

@rachelmcnew2101 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for doing this video!!! i am on the spectrum and have tried and tried to let my husband know these things. Turns out he is very likely on the spectrum as well only undiagnosed (he recently brought this idea up himself), and that is one of the things that makes our communication so impossibly difficult! We are finally (after 26 years of marriage starting to gradually learn to understand, accept and help each other more successfully! I regret that he would likely be unable to listen to this video because of it's length, but I am grateful for the great examples of delineation that your videos provide.... I think I'll come back to this one later with a notebook! Keep it up, you are awesome!!

@ALR0808 Жыл бұрын

It is definitely good and worth it. Thank you.

@tnix80 6 ай бұрын

Watching your videos makes me so happy 😊 To me you're an absolute legend 💖

@ronniecorbett6306 Жыл бұрын

I understand everything you are saying. Please never stop making your videos, I thank you so much for them. Peace

@lovepeace2373 Жыл бұрын

I would say, the reason why you get surprizingly well understood in a foreign laguage is, the the other (!) people give more effort in understanding you, as they inderstand it is not easy for you to express exactly what you want to say.

@BetheChange80 Жыл бұрын

Spot on. More forgiving anf more accommodating.