When the divorce rate is over 50%, you have to be picky!

Why is it high? Because people don’t understand the nature and purpose of marriage- which is salvation not happiness.

​@@marcmanolache2106Or maybe it's over 50% precisely because people are so picky.

​@@OrthodoxEthosThat's not the real reason, it's people treating their own personal relationships, marriages, and their own family as running incorporated business companies who only cares about external stimulations.

thanks for the testimony

Some say St. Xenia of St. Petersburg also.

Hello, what's your first name? I'll pray for you.

Kyrill, thank you! @@vv-ec1nh

Weldome home to you and your family! That would be the absolute best for your children. May God have mercy on us.

Be fruitful and multiply!

I had the same problem...... It's really difficult to wait...... Btw I am an Orthodox Christian

The two examples from scripture are Isaac with Rebecca, and Tobias with Sarah. Either you send somebody to find you a wife, or you find a wife yourself. But in both these cases it was made a priority. The modernist thinking that you don’t make it a priority is not historically accurate. For example: Canon 16(20) of Carthage It has pleased the council to decree that care should be taken to see that Readers, upon arriving at the age of puberty, either take a wife or choose to vow celibacy and continence, That’s how soon people were thought to be wedded off. A lot of this delaying of marriage comes from the enlightenment era philosophers like Rousseau. Who believed human institutions like religion, which includes marriage, were a detriment to human development. Instead of something that is necessary for our salvation.

Hello my friend! It’s really pretty simple to solve this. Go to confession a lot and take communion. Be MOTIVATED. Firm. Do this every week. Now, keep speaking it out loud to your priest, simply say, “ I want to get married.” The door will open if you seek Jesus first. You’ll see!!!!!!

@@ArizonaTengu absolutely agree brother, theres alot of speak about getting married later, around 30 or so, but i find that foolish if you have the means to do so now. I want to grow with someone my own age, work out our salvation, quench the urges in the way God intended, and raise a good family. 100% agree, very good insight.

@@speaklifenow971 Thank you sister, seek the Kingdom of God and everything else will come, yes! I confess and commune weekly, pray for me to trust in the Lords timing!

I met an Orthodox Christian for dinner the other night. I made it clear there would be no fornication to whomever I marry. She could not understnd that. She said, "well, what if I don't enjoy it after we get married". Lord have mercy. I shall not judge, but this mentality is extremely common. May God have mercy on us.

@@orthodox1717are you serious? Was that an OCA parish or GOARCH?

@@CadeLand011she’s Russian.

​@orthodox1717 manual of our people from our O countries have not grown up with an O Ethos, due to the break that happened with communism. Some have been able to receive the OE, others are secular, worldly, while O in name & a few cultural practices around, say Nativity. You need to find a truly O young lady.

I'm a virgin too and waiting till marriage. Good luck to you.

Write us at team@orthodoxethos.com And we can suggest a few good places and parishes.

Here in Florida we have the same problem, except a big one is that there is little to no single orthodox women, or at least definitely not at my church, I think there’s only 1 actually 😂

I’m a Lutheran and it’s a similar problem lol. There just aren’t many young people in conservative traditions. It’s nice that it has forced me out of my comfort zone to make friendships with a lot of great seniors, but it can feel a bit isolating.

I notice that you are holding circumstances and other people responsible for all of these difficulties, but both of these paths require the same thing: truly striving to be holy, by deification, which is your own responsibility more than anyone else's. If you strive towards God, He will guide your ways and reward you in due time. Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you. Consider how long Jakob had to work towards his wife, or how long even Christ Himself had to work towards His Wife (the Church).

Lord have mercy on me a sinner.

Which Orthodox site?

Problem is when a woman is upfront and says she's only looking for marriage then the guy thinks she's talking about marriage with him then he becomes difficult 😒

@@throughGodsgrace I wouldn't presume to give substantive advice to Orthodox women. Honestly, just put yourself out there and let them chase you. And don't be afraid to say, "I like you" or "I don't like you." Guys these days like some reassurance before they start the chase.

@@TheRomanOrthodox thanks for the kind and wise advice... God bless you.

@@throughGodsgrace I read your unedited reply. No advice can be applied universally, and all perspectives are limited. However, I will pray for you and for a change of heart in those men. How horrible!

This is a big problem in heavy post feminist nations like the USA or UK. In my church many of the young men including myself wanted to find a spouse in our 20s. Some of us already had respectable careers and others still working on their path. What always happened in the church is that once a woman turned 18 she would go off to college and that was it for a while. Then they would return as a regular when they were older typically. There was no urgency by the parents especially the fathers to help the men of the community out. This is the result of feminism. Too many fathers play into the narrative as well. One of the priests whom retired did say that it’s a shame that young people don’t get married anymore. It is a shame that the cancer of feminism is so strong and has infiltrated orthodox communities within the nation. My buddy had a similar situation. He managed to try to court which I’m using very loosely one of the women in the parish. She was only interested in marriage at maybe 28-29ish because of her career plans. So my friend didn’t have a chance. And he is a solid man with a good career plan which can easily provide for a family. I’m not making an excuse for my shorting comings. But I believe our time period for us men is more challenging for lust compared to our male orthodox ancestors for so many reasons.

Sadly this seems to be the case

I tend to agree, however, i think that a women having a career is not necessarily hindering a marriage itself but more problematic in terms of having (many) children. The priests I listened to explained that, while marriage is the only way to procreate legitimately, and that we should encourage as many children as possible, the holy mystery of marriage is first and foremost: A sacrament It has to do with understanding another person deeply and loving them unconditionally, to TRY to understand a fraction of the love God feels for us. Even a childless marriage could fulfill that. Marriage is still a crucial step, even for e.g. people that are infertile, and everyone living a secular life should be married. However and I thoroughly agree with the previous commenter(s); The amount of people (women and sadly men) willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of children is shockingly low. I think the original commenter has a point and I have made similar experiences, however, as men, we should take accountability. There is a reason why women and their families focus on having an education and a job, and that is because of a, in most cases justified, fear of an unsuccessful marriage. The ideas of feminism have infiltrated the minds of a lot of young women, however, this seed would not grow in their minds if they didn’t know about or have negative experiences with men. Furthermore, I agree with the point in the video that we all became so egotistical, so proud, so picky, which further complicates the whole situation. I pray that everyone finds God’s will for his life, be it monastic or secular, with or without children, but most importantly; their spouse, that they can love and appreciate God’s love for us. Amen

Very good points. Thank you.

You mean young *women. Young men are like dogs at the table begging for scraps

It's really the women who are being overly selective because they have the leverage & wield tremendous granted power in the dating & marriage market. Yes, obviously men aren't perfect (as we have both separate & similar battles to face) but the overwhelming majority of young women are simply choosing anything but traditional motherhood.

​@@thaimuayshoo1171What do you observe the majority of men choosing?

@@colmcille9669 American men are broken also. I just don't subscribe to the "only man bad, woman good" nonsense, especially when applied to American culture. It's simple, American men are failing, they need to step up. Drop the drugs, put down the 2am video game controller, the red bull & cheetos. American women are failing & they also need to step up. Drop the 2am club martinis, the Insta-vanity book, & the masters degree in Satan's Wiccan arts etc

I'm 45, I get it. Where do you live? :p

@@orthodox1717you go boy! 🤞🏻😅

@@CR-tj4ig😆☦️

​@@orthodox1717🎣🎣🎣

​@@orthodox1717😆

​@@quadrgaif that's your take away from my comment... Then you don't understand what I'm saying. Nowhere did I say sexual pleasure is wrong. Nor did I say that married couples look for martyrdom deaths before they get married. They are being martyrs for each other. They don't live for themselves but for each other. As St Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

​@@quadrgathen what's the issue?

Same place as you. Since I became Orthodox in 2020 I have only met maybe 3 orthodox women near my age. There are zero in my parish and I sadly can not go traveling around to other churches. I have too many responsibilities on the farm so getting away is usually out of luck.

@SkyDavis100 I have visited 17 different parishes. In those visits, I have met 3 women who are single, Orthodox, and my age. I have met many other young men in the same predicament. But I also hear from some women, either older or priest daughters from farther away parishes, expressing their own struggle finding someone. There seems to be both single men and single women struggling here (albeit more men than women), so why aren't the traditional structures helping to connect them when they desperately need it for a minority in such a dispersed environment?

​@@SkyDavis100You are going to have to travel to find someone. If it were easy, it wouldn't be worth it.

​​@@billcynic1815Simply put, because many of the people who are in this predicament are older and have such complicated professional and personal lives that a priest is hardly qualified to navigate. But also, if you have heard of women who are having trouble finding a man, why don't you have their numbers yet?

@claytontheroman777 The ones I have heard who have such trouble are either significantly older than me, or in a few cases relayed second-hand from forums or priests recounting their daughters' having trouble finding a guy. I confess I don't quite have the boldness to comment on the blog of a priest I've never met, serving hundreds of miles away, and asking for his daughter's contact info.

Prayer for God to that! Find a prayerful woman!

Dude same. It’s made me extremely cynical and made me look elsewhere. I’m so depressed and lonely

This is a very pessimistic view. We must place as the highest priority the love and service of God in the Orthodox Church and trust in God to provide a spouse for us who shares this same priority. Many people who learn to love prayer and the services of the Church meet spouses at church, at church conferences, at monasteries, through programs aimed at young and single people, or through recommendations from their spiritual father. It isn’t necessary to be online to find a spouse.

Fr. Peter has spoke of this several times. I paraphrase - Keep digging further spiritually and God will bring you someone compatible.

@@orthodox1717 good. that's the only way. everything else is just human planning and we know how that usually goes.

Isn't the one you are actually looking for...?

@@johnnyd2383 what kind of emoji is that😂

@@TheDreamClown Isn't it appropriate for question of mine..

@@johnnyd2383 I’m sorry I am too confused, I’m having hard time reading/understanding

28? No way. It’s definitely over 30

It’s a dystopia to me. I’m so frustrated

I married at 38 lol

Tell them, so that they may look & let you know, if they come across anyone they think is suitable. It will then be up to you to speak with the person & prayerfully determine whether he's the man for you. They suggest, you can say yes or no, after meeting & speaking with the person they suggest.

Did you decide?

Bribe her.!

I agree with you... Liking that person and feeling connection/chemistry with them is important. It would be great and so much easier for us if we could be like our parents who had a completely different psychological profile and were ok to marry without love.... But we cannot pretend that we are and we cannot lie to ourselves. It is harder for us these days, but maybe God allows it to be this hard so that we pray very very hard for it, and if He does grant us that wish it will be an abundantly blessed one... And if he doesn't, I suppose that we will just have to carry our cross with patience. Like Job.

I've had several opportunities myself to date women who were Pious and were interested in me. However the personalities between us were so incompatible and honestly intolerable I always come back to the conclusion I would rather just look at her as my sister and friend then someone I spend the rest of my life with. My spiritual father had agreed with me when I described said relationships and he said yes it's important that you have conversations (rather than being talked AT endlessly) and you enjoy the person's company.

My brother in Christ, it’s completely over for us

I'm 5'7 and bald, I still found a wife. With God all things are possible

Looking at the many ugly men with a wife, it's perfectly possible.

Get on no fap brother

Get that 🤑

The men perhaps need to spiritually go deeper?

This is leading me deeper into cynicism UGHHHHHH

Where are orthodox available? In my country in Latinoamerica we don't have orthodox 😢

because they are still influenced by satanic western culture, sadly

They go gold digging 🤑 6 figures, 6 packs, 6 feet, 6 inches, won't settle for less 🤑

All by God’s Grace

@@OrthodoxEthos so if one believes they have God's grace? Oooh.

@@OrthodoxEthos - Here is our Savior YaH The Heavenly FATHER (Genesis 1) HIMSELF was Who they Crucified/Pierced for our sins and “HERE IS THE PROOF” From the Ancient Egyptian Semitic: "Yad He Vav He" is what Moshe (Moses) wrote, when Moses asked YaH His Name (Exodus 3) Ancient Egyptian Semitic Direct Translation Yad - "Behold The Hand" He - "Behold the Breath" Vav - "Behold The NAIL"

​@Praise___YaH basic theology is leaving my body reading this 😂

LOL

Go back to school please and learn proper grammar.

😂😂 just argue about theology the whole day

Let’s not laugh about that depressing lifestyle. It’s very sad and those young men need help.

@@starstray4326 Fair.

Same here, I'm not sure I have a single Christian friend. My generation in California all hate God and religion.

Move Flee Find God fearing Orthodox Christians

I was in your shoes at the age of 35. I had given up all hope of ever getting married and having a family. Then within a year I met a Godly woman who became my best friend, we married when I was 37 and now we have a beautiful family together.

He wasn't talking about backwards India.

We are taking about Orthodox families.

Quite a strawman - India and Hindus are not the only peoples and cultures that arrange marriages. Arranged marriages do have some advantages, like: Stability and Longevity: Arranged marriages tend to exhibit higher stability and longevity due to the careful consideration of compatibility factors by families. The commitment to the union often stems from a shared sense of duty and respect for family traditions. Reduced Pressure on Individual Compatibility: In arranged marriages, the burden of finding a suitable partner is shifted from the individual to the family, potentially reducing stress associated with the dating and courtship process. Stronger Support System: The involvement of families in arranged marriages can result in a stronger support system, as families often provide guidance and assistance in navigating challenges. Contrasted with the modern western (when I say "modern" I mean primarily Anglo-American) ideas of courtship and marriage: High Expectations: Modern marriages are often built on romantic love and personal compatibility, leading to high expectations for emotional fulfillment. If these expectations are not met, it can contribute to dissatisfaction and potential divorce. Changing Dynamics: Evolving societal norms have led to changing gender roles and increased individualism, impacting traditional marital dynamics and requiring ongoing adaptation by couples. Divorce Rates: The modern approach to marriage in America has resulted in relatively higher divorce rates. Couples may opt for divorce when faced with irreconcilable differences or unmet expectations. There are pros and cons of both. I'd say that our modern, Americanized way of dating and marriage isn't working particularly well, but the shift to a culture where arranged marriages are more common are too difficult, culturally speaking. Perhaps some hybrid system where the parents have greater involvement and matchmaking authority, but without neglecting their children's feelings completely could work.

arranged marriages are a joke in any context (including Orthodox). it's literally enforcing human will at the cost of God's will and this only rarely ends up not in a total catastrophe.

​​​@@old_gaffer how would an arranged marriage be any more human will or less God's will than an individual finding a spouse themselves?

O ye of lil faith

​@@OrthodoxEthos O me who sees the world as it is. Are we not called to exercise discernment? Respectfully, most people your age simply don't grasp how dire the situation is. And that's why when you offer young men advice, you don't talk to us where we *are*, you talk to us where you *were*. The prospects of finding a date for your average young man today are abysmal, much less a girlfriend, much less a wife, much less a God-fearing Orthodox wife. The reasons for this are varied and complex, but one of the chief reasons is that a large chunk, if not a majority, of young women today are polygynous. Hence 63% of men under 30 report being single, while only 34% of women. You're seeing a very rapid shift from monogamy to polygamy in Western societies, a direct consequence of the sexual revolution, as well as a feature, I would say, of the great apostasy. I'm at peace with the fact that God's plan for me doesn't involve a wife. That's okay, albeit frustrating at times. Surely I'm not required to spend my life chasing unicorns in order to qualify as having faith?

​@@bananas1220A fair amount of men are not staying with just one woman (hence the term 'side piece' or 'side chick' and the up and coming movement that it's okay for men to cheat because they allegedly don't get emotional attachments). It's both sides doing this. Non-monogamy (including cheating, which all polyamory/polygamy/polygyny/whatever is, is not okay no matter who's doing it). It's not just guys with the issue, for us ladies it's hard to find a guy who is loyal. Loyalty is ultra rare now days, period.

​@@LadyMaria I'm very drunk at the moment. But I believe you just made my point. There are a handful of guys who are getting all of the women, because the women would prefer to share the 'high value' men than to commit to someone more or less on their level. Hence the normalization of polygyny. Loyalty is not ultra rare, darling. You're just looking for it in all the wrong places.

​​​@@bananas1220Drunkenness is no excuse and needs to be confessed. Please don't call me darling. That's condescending. It is ultra rare as men consume so much pornography, which is a form of cheating and not being monogamous. A lot have a philosophy as noted above that cheating physically doesn't matter as there are no attachments. I don't know what this high value nonsense is about but many men like you complain about not getting women but rarely look inwardly at themselves to see their major flaws. Their attitude is a huge reason why they are single and will remain so. Also, many do not have jobs or can support a family yet complain about dating. Start with fixing yourself and less complaining, then maybe you'll find a woman. I'm not looking for a man, haven't for over a decade as I'm happily married to the greatest man.

Good women exist! Give us a chance :)

We traditional women exist give us a chance!

Try Melkites

@@philotheasbliss I'm not looking to submit to Rome.

@@La_Pucelle_dOrleans Are you Greek Orthodox? I admire them