"They hurt puppies? OK. Let's proceed to barbarians plan"

He said their insides on my outsides , which better depicts the bloody rage

Ngl, that a pretty badass quote

Defo a vengeance paladin

The paladin is just Alfred from Bloodborne.... except with puppies.

1 of the 3 standards for professionals is efficiency

ANd rogues may be a meme, but damn they get the job done

We may be shifty and steal a lot, but if you have our trust, we are soooooo useful

Rogues are great! But what to do with the fact, that whispers bard can do all the same as the rogue but better while being fullcaster at the same time? )

They heist the battle.

literally any lawful good character: don’t mess with the dogos

"We have to do this in a way thats pleases the gods." My war cleric of ares "Kill them all!"

Paladin of the Great Old Ones holding the puppy after the insides were put on the outsides; 'Oh I'm sorry, did you think I meant the Bandits?' *is licked by the Eldritch pet he just adopted* He's somehow Lawful Good, btw

Even chaotic evil’s would be like this

yea I think anyone would be like that....

monk: headbuts the closest enemy and Then takes out his hands from his pockets!

Ooor, he does like Shobun-Ron in Baki

Artificer: "I load a powder charge into my javelin." (instead of making guns, my character built rocket-powered javelins, including his pride and joy, which you can cast a thunder spell into when you throw it).

@@sethb3090 *Immigrant song intensifies*

@@sethb3090 Sounds just like the Javelin rockets in real life.

Wizard, Fighter, and Cleric are holding all the brain cells in the party.

Honestly, at the wizard bit I expected one of those Spongebob "10 hours later" transitions.

@@ilaydaakmehmet7707 And Warlock and Rogue, cause Warlock is about efficiency and speed, and Rogue is already running away with what they need

@@Arthas30000 I was waiting for him to go: "Uh-huh... Interesting. I cast fireball."

@@camomurf5182 OMG YES!!!!

Well, that is usually how it ends up.

starting a hitman mission vs middle of completing a hitman mission

Reminds me of that time in 3e, my 1st level dwarven paladin, wearing (non-master work) plate armor + large shield, no ranks at Move Silendly at all, and Dex 8 (-1 modifier), tried to enter an orc camp... And rolled a Nat1. I literally I rolled a -8 on my stealthy. The DM described it as "a pile of kitchen pans falling all over the place"

there's stealth, and then there's russian stealth

*me, a rogue in a pathfinder game that somehow rolled 3 separate 65's in a row* "Don't worry, it just works."

It's so funny I prefer 3.5 and the warlock is the exact opposite, they are magical miniguns with unlimited ammo Sure they have single digits worth of variety but they can do it alot

i have been both of these characters at some point

Yes!

1d4 epiphany damage

he actually survived planning!

I expected a papercut

Nah, the rest of the group should take 2d6 psychic "we dont have enoigh braincells to comprehend" damage. If he doesnt dies from papercut damage first, ofcourse.

You bet your first born he did!

Honestly I'm of the opinion if your cleric isn't a salty asshole you got the wrong guy. I'd rather have the veteran who's jaded as hell to the happy go lucky rookie.

@@razorflossrazor2937 yo, I'm a forever cleric and I do heal dumb pcs, it's just usually its me who beat them for their stupidity.

@@razorflossrazor2937 So... basically just Dr. McCoy, huh?

Wizard died of 1D4 thinking damage

Yeah the wizard 9/11ing himself isn't the barbarians issue

You find the enemy is just standing completely still while smiling smugly and watching you charge toward them. Suddenly you step on a bear trap the size of the jaws of an allosaurus that is designed to snap shut unleash 11 types of gas and then explode. Roll to increase your scream.

@@rachdarastrix5251 Ah, my only weakness....gas

Hey, Greater Cleave and Mobility yo

And the cleric is screaming in agony in the background...

This time

You haven't seen what's chasing him yet

Yea, he stole a book that dangerously looks like a mimic...helpful

​@@itsjustmerlinMaybe mimic was target tho

Artificer: attack with random bs.

If reasoning doesn't work, attack with Yo Mama jokes.

@@dali3839 Artificer be like: random bs, GO!

As someone who plays an artificer as my main and favourite class- I can confirm I just yell random bullshit and I either have a huge sized iron defender (it hasn’t been killed once so in that campaign since we have four artificers myself included and a cleric of the forge we just upgraded it to a large creature and gave it spell storing to give it enlarge and haste) or I could have iron man armor shoot out lightning or thunder or I could have a flame thrower on my wrist and burn everything or I can make explosives or if I am vindictive I can take the time to make a potion or magic item with the spell disintegrate and then turn that into a bomb to essentially screw over everything

Had a flame tongue bard hearing that a evil druid had a awaken bush as hostage...my first thought was how can I convince~...the dm to let me multiattack the druid

I mean, 600 without the sorc dip. But yeah.

@@piranhaplantX or just take metamagic adept as a feat

@Lunar Flare did you just shoot random people before you got a spyglass?

@@codebracker I mean, gotta get thise sacrifices for your patron some way. Also, if you fire blindly at people working for an evil empire, does it really matter who goes down?

@@Pluveus untill you hit their pet dog and everone calls you a jerk

Charisma-Based!

@@mitchellslate1249 True enough.

I thought the plan took up both sides of the scroll and he had to get to the clinch point to get on board

@@brandonhughes179 The front-side of the scroll is the plans, detailing which spells the Wizard uses. The back side is the Wizard's spellbook, containing all the spells he can't remember off the top of his head (unlike most classes).

You could say the warlock was very.... *Charismatic*

Props to your DM for allowing things to work out that way! It would probably have been easy to decide it wasn’t being stored in that tower yet at the time similar to the lich being out, so it’s cool that you really got to alter the path like that

@@anotherterribleday Oh yeah, dude's great about continuity in his world. That said he was REALLY hoping we'd go to the tower only to find we'd already looted it. The Lich came after us later but that's a whole 'nother story.

I love the logic you displayed. Found a spooky glowing rock, got the local magical stick to poke it, it doesn't seem to do anything but be spooky and glow, new lamp aquired.

@@erin8050 I said I was playing a rogue. I did not say I was playing a SMART rogue.

Imagine if you had sold it not knowing it was the heart of a god.

I fucking died

Druid clearly never read the Evil Overlord List

@@spiceracksargent0014 Never helps. Never.

lol, now I need to watch that again......

Do you know that there is a Paladin NPC named Leeroy in Dark Souls?

100% agree with this statement as a paladin main myself

"barbarian, maybe the gods LOVE your plan.."

"Wait, slave traders? Barbarian, get your axe and rage, we're doing Plan B"

Literally my wizard for every major plan XDD

Meh, he will pick fireball in the end anyway ;) ...

I find druids who aren't circle of the moon to be just as if not more indecisive.

@@swimmingmide Druid here. I just wrote down the spells I was most likely to use and then picked from that greatly truncated list. Speeds up the process significantly.

@@supergamer1388 you are the exception of druids I have known then. I find that Wizard and Druid are the two classes that don't know what they will do on their turn. Cleric/Paladin will smash or heal Warlock/Sorcerer/Wizard will blow it up Barbarian/ Figher will just hit everything.

"Ahhh 1d4 of damage for reading..."

@@communistpenguin8538 I was waiting for the wizard to die of 1d4 papercut damage when he unrolled the first side of the scroll.

I was waiting for "what if we double the fireballs...."

*dies of 1d4 dying damage*

Ah wizards inaugurally the most powerful class in the game bur a strong breeze will knock them out

He just got it that it is not a plan That is a roll of linoleum floor

@@user-yy3wh2uk3w ah, yes, that's us wizards. Unraveling the secrets of the universe while the others are distracted with the boring stuff.

sounds like a bard joke XD

@@beanstalk1309 exactly. Or the bard's taunt, just prefix "Your mama told me last night... " 😆

PHRASING!!!

Also Warlock mentioning a nap afterwards.

Don't you dare underestimate the power of eldritch blast! And another eldritch blast! As a matter of fact, I mostly spam eldritch blast all the time. T_T

Can't doublecast fireball, even with quickened spell.

@@Illianor123 Twinned spell is how you double a spell.

@@kaoscwh4499 twinned dont work in AoEs in 5e. Quickening does, but casting a BA spell Locks you down for that round. Using Action Surge after a 2lvl dip in Fighter is the only way to cast two leveled spells at the same turn.

Let's hope they don't figure out how to combine them. They could take out half a continent

The light cleric: “fireball it is than because God wants them to burn.".

The artificer: what about Gatling fireball?

Until they realize all the enemies are immune to fire

@@yeetuszilla1663 Then you get the metamagic to change it to like an ice fireball.

And then in the turn before yours someone pulls up something completely bizarre and random that you could never expect and invalidates all of your plans

Yep, allows: if x does y Id do z, If x does a I do b; else I do c. Then x does crazy Shit and i am like........ What?!

@@Maxi-vf1jg i know what that feels like, i was playing a life domain cleric/ evocation wizard and i legit spent everybodys turns which in total was 10 aiming my fireball for the perfect position with enough spell level to make sure everybody was protected, then our druid just used animal friendship and completly ruined my 10 turns of aiming fireball, if it wasn't for the warlock using a move that made him fireproof and our bard abusing the dm with rope trick i would of wasted my 10 turns of aiming

This hurts so much.

It's worse when you're a fighter with the entire rest of the party being squishies. I have to not only come up with effective concepts, but also alter them for the likelihood that any of them even bother to remember my combat spacings and how it protects them.

And the Wizard blows everything with Fireball, since it's the Wizard equivalent to being able to fit every shape into the square hole.

also, just as likely, they didn't plan their turn while everyone else was taking their's and are now looking their spell list to decide on what to cast. Hopefully they know what their spells do.

Only for the wizard then die to one hit right when the fight starts,so then the other party members start doing random bullshit

@@arthurbarroso4152 Well, since they know that the plan involves using fireball on the powder barrels, maybe one of the others has a similar attack?

@@lockwoan01 sorcerer?

@@Yegros1972 Yep, especially the one with the red or gold scales that's not a red or gold dragonborn. Even better, they are a tiefling.

​

I was holding out for "Dies of d4 'getting it' damage"

1D4 Papercut Damage

@@Pausenmacher that’s what I thought

I thought it was going to be 1D4 planning damage

I expected a papercut.

And that is why fighter and wizard are good par

Breastwork, you say? 😏

I effectively played both in my first champaign. Good old Eldrich Knight, Abjuration Wizard. An anti caster/caster, with a knack for wacking things thanks to denying spellcasters

Yes...We have all done it. We have also all seen that play a thousand times. But we can still try to get it on point this time!

Or just disintegrate everything with finger guns

No wonder attendance was up!

as a Hexblade Warlock in a party with Ranged Fighter, Arcane Rogue, Bard, and Cleric yea I agree oh wait we have a Monk too and a Paladin as of now

I'm a Celestial Warlock too. Our Fighter.., plays more like a Barbarian. The Blood Hunter..., plays like a Fighter. The Bard..., cross playstyles of a Sorcerer & Barbarian.

@@GunnerM60 Well, sorcerer is the barbarian of spellcasters, so I can see it.

I am planning to play a Celestial Warlock at some point so this feels like a good heads up.

@@matthewalexanian2108 Definitely reflavor Warlock spells as needed to better fit a "divine feel". If your DM allows it w/ a reasonable argument, a damage type change.

Oh yeah, what is it with druids and snakes? 🤣

I played a druid (circle of stars) she didn't get to transform into a snake (RIP Kasheer)

@@Anon-qp3kt from what little I know, I think it's that snakes are usually the best/better forms that can druuds can take for combat at various levels, in terms of most damage. I believe the giant green snake is the first they choose and it goes on from there

I'm playing circle of moon Druid right now! Currently I either turn into a Dire Wolf or something else due to not being high enough leveled to have a CR over 1

@Dark Strike Dire Wolf is a good choice for low levels, I remember doing that a lot, that or Brown Bear

@@hypnodance Probably slithering somewhere.

In a campain I literally take my warlock, open a door busting it laughing manically launching two eldrist blast that were a critic, I one-shoted the boss, my dm was vey quiet after that

Yes. Perfect reply and comment.

Yes, unfortunately that is correct in regards to that 2nd part of plans not mattering.

Plans are useless, planning is indispensable

"No plan survives first contact with the enemy." Some ancient proverb whose source I cannot remember.

Plans are especially tricky since the DM, who controls all of the mobs, also knows the plan. Your plan working is entirely dependent upon the DM allowing it to work.

Praise be the almighty hammer that is Eldritch Blast

@@bodenking Unless you face Helmed Horror.

@@YAH93 Unless you’re a genie warlock

They have a lot that they can do but they're always going to Eldritch Blast.

The point is that warlocks like naps :3

us warlocks do tend to be sassy

plot twist: the "baddies" are 13 adult dogs who grounded their puppies... so the paladin just orphaned all the puppies

@@staren1991 all children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children. The Paladin will see that each one is adopted into a loving home.

Hands-down thought for sure it would be 1d4 papercut damage lol

They're up to 1d6 as of 5e

@ReyMercury funnily enough, Armorer. Our Fighter-Barb just has this enchanted axe where he can cut off a limb of his target when he rolls a 19 or 20. Which, the Artificer is usually at the end of. XD

@@semolinaflour7420 ouch

Last session our Fighter went Barbarian plan on a Dragon cultists camp. Can't believe we're all alive

@@ucalove10 ah yes those "i can't believe we're alive" Flashbacks to our last session where we fought a beholder without our Fighter-Barb. (ʘᴗʘ✿)

A plan is only good if people remember the plan, which in the campaigns I am in or was part of, we never had a resemblance of a plan, the only time we did was.......on second thought I can't remember the last time we had a plan at all, we usually winged it

Cleric: That would be THIS PARTY!! (dissolves into frustrated sobbing)

@@richardd3367 .....Uhhh guys ...lets take it easy with the recklessness.. Except Barbarian go nuts

Artificer opens portal to the Athereal Plane, and is sucked outside. Bard's lute gets a fire arrow lodged into it, burns, and then hideously scars the Bard, ruining his Charisma. Barbarian charges in, and swings so hard he breaks his weapon and throws himself on the shards fatally. Cleric's Spiritual Weapon is Counterspelled, and they are then Paralyzed. Monk tries Flurry of Blows against the Quarterstaff wielding Doppleganger shadow-boxing with him, and breaks his fists against the Immovable Rod he is wielding. Fighter is tricked in his tactics, outmaneuvered, and then outattacked by more Fighters. Druid's conjured Animals are each taken over by Command Animal from an Awakened Spell-Casting Alpha, and set to eat the Druid. Warlock's Patron is overthrown, and the nullified deal with the dead Patron eviscerates and evaporates the Soul of the Warlock. Paladin is tricked into breaking his Vow, Killing an Innocent Puppy used as a Shield, and loses his power, becomes enraged and furious, and a Demon Lord transports him to the Abyss where he simply is annhilated by Chaos before he can even redeem himself...He dies by Demonic Dark Smite in the end. Rogue is hunted and killed by the Invisible Spirit of a Dead Rogue, who is a part of his ancestors. Ranger falls into a Trap in his Favored Terrain while facing his Favored Enemy...As an Illusion, that is a Sphere of Annhilation and Lycanthropic Enemy instead. Sorcerer is nearly killed by the Wizard's Fireball. Wizard is killed by the Sorcerer's Fireball with the Sorcerer. I am your new Dungeon Master.

Not every wizard has the personnality of Nixie... Well... maybe not the majority... kzfaq.info/get/bejne/eKxlmsenst_Zf6c.html

That's what I wanted to comment! :D Though more precisely, you can't cast more than one non-cantrip spell per turn, even if one uses an action and the other a bonus action. Player's Handbook, page 202: "A spell cast with a bonus action is especially swift. You must use a bonus action on your turn to cast the spell, provided that you haven’t already taken a bonus action this turn. You can’t cast another spell during the same turn, except for a cantrip with a casting time of 1 action."

Maybe, but rules as written allow it with an action surge.

@@baerdred That's not 'more precisely', that's an addition. The original commenter said you can't twinspell fireball because it's an AoE spell. Twinspell ignores the rule you mentioned. The effect you described isn't Twinspell, it's Quickened Spell. Which, as you mentioned, still doesn't let you cast two fireballs in one turn, but for a different reason.

@@baerdred After targeting one creature with a spell, Twinned Spell allows you to use sorcery points to target a second creature with the same spell. But it specifically says the spell used has to be "incapable" of being able to target multiple creatures (aka no AOE)

The best spells to twin, tend to be buff spells like Haste or Polymorph. (This is actually pretty powerful, as you can buff two party members)

I'll see you running in screaming and raise you the enemy running back at you screaming. Makes everything so much simpler for everyone

Same! Mostly because my GM doesn't allow as anything else, there's no way for the party to get any real information and retreat with it to get for the engagement after planning, and when we start quick planning before the fight, he actually measures real life time and gives unreasonable amount of preparation for the monster side, stuff along the lines of us being encircled and shot through murder holes and the some bad guys running away with the treasure in a way that we are unable to stop. And that one time we thought of reasonable solution in time in real life? We get explained why it won't work, and why we can't just pick those mindless zombies from range and get into melee only with what's able to survive walking up to us, instead we get rolling for attack with disadvantage, and on serious miss we hit an ally in front of us, making it easier to kill our own, than those zombies. Damn... I should probably shop for a new GM...

@@Chromatus384 dude........ You seriously need a new GM...... That's so messed up.... As an counter point: IRL time to match chars IRL planning... I'm sorry, is player x as smart as his int 20 wizard?? Or is as dumb as the int 8 barb (as examples)? Do players ACTUALLY take 6 seconds to think and describe their actions each turn??

@@Chromatus384 Yeah please get a new GM I beg. Don't waste your time with someone not fun to play with when Dnd is all about having fun. They SUCK as a GM, I'm currently a GM and my biggest tick with bad GMs is not letting the party do what they want to do and being picky af. Real annoying.

just like the Spanish inquisition

I was pleasantly surprised there.

Same haha

Same

I was expecting 1d4 contemplation damage or something. Paper cut was already done, so I wasn't expecting that one xD

I was expecting the punch line to be the wizard just pointing at one spot on the map, telling the sorcerer to fireball there, then pointing somewhere else and saying he would fireball there.

i take it you hang out with a lot of "LEEROY JENKINS!" types...

@@CorvusCorone68 One time we tried to disguise ourselves to infiltrate a bandit fortress and got caught. Just walking around killing anyone we ran into worked 10x better.

Especially when the DM "is" the BBEG, and he's listening to your planning.

If playing armourist yes the armour makes sense

@@End3ren3rgy Even without that, the base attunement limit for artificers in general gets pretty goofy. A combat-focused artificer will often look like a videogame character with min-maxed stat gear that doesn't match. Armorer just let's you get slightly goofier with an extra 2.

@@piranhaplantX What about Warforged modified by Artificier ? XD

@@skell6134 it's the unicorn.

Me as an Artificer: "Okay, do you know what a volley gun or an organ gun is? Well I welded a hundred blunderbusses in a ten by ten pattern."

He’s a centaur, what is swallowing him whole?

@@bodenking a behir, aboleth, and a dm made monster

He’s a smaller centaur at his human head he’s only 7’2

I'd love to have played in that campaign seems fun as hell

@@Anon-qp3kt we have a party of 8 it’s chaotic as hell too lol