how i learned to love being single (+ why you should too)

Рет қаралды 2,312,587

4 жыл бұрын

instagram ➭ @best.dressed
subscribe for weekly vids ➭ bit.ly/bestdressedfam
OUTFIT LINKED BELOW ⇩⇩⇩
✨my jewelry collection ➭ enroutejewelry.com/collection...
shop my thrift finds + presets ➭ www.bestdressedstore.com/
twitter ➭ @bestdressed
my second channel ➭ bit.ly/bestmess
In this sleep deprived girl talk, I talk about how I learned to be happily single and dissect all of the societal + internal pressures I felt to be in a relationship. I originally filmed this the day before Valentines Day for my fellow single ladies so sorry it’s a bit late!
✰ CHAPTERS ✰
1:38 a note about double standards
2:38 my history + mindset shift through high school, college, and now
5:22 ~let’s dissect my internalized misogyny~ aka analyze the pressure to be in a relationship
5:30 problematic ideals in rom coms
7:26 validation from male attention
11:10 fear of aging
14:48 vicarious success
17:49 slut shaming / stigma around causal sex
20:01 tips for being happy single
✰ OUTFIT ✰
dress: thrifted (similar: bit.ly/2Y9p5hV, bit.ly/3cLCBMJ)
safety pin earrings: i designed them! (enroutejewelry.com/collection...)
♫ MUSIC ♫
rainy sunday from epidemic sound ➭ bit.ly/2VW00n4
partly sunny by joey pecoraro
special thanks to joey pecoraro for allowing me to use his music! check him out on
youtube: / @joeypecoraro
instagram: / joeypecoraro
soundcloud: / joeypecoraro
spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/44ins...
F A Q
what’s your name? ashley
what’s your instagram? @best.dressed
how old are you? 21 (born in 1998)
how tall are you? 5'5"
what’s your ethnicity? half british and half burmese
what equipment do you use to film?
➭ main camera: panasonic lumix gh5s (amzn.to/2Nb0W1z)
➭ 12-35mm lens (amzn.to/2JiSrz7)
➭ mic: rode videomic pro+ (amzn.to/2QHfZBU)
➭ vlog camera: canon powershot g7x mark ii (amzn.to/2DfL4cZ)
➭ canon m50 (amzn.to/2Dp1bnk)
➭ editing: final cut pro
FTC: Not sponsored. Some of the above links are affiliate links, meaning I earn a small percentage of sales made via those links, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra!

Пікірлер: 8 400

@dr.drishti 4 жыл бұрын

"My life is not a rom com, it's a comedy sitcom with 10 seasons and I'm on season 2." New life motto tbh

@SolPaulino05 4 жыл бұрын

This is what I feel too

@cactikaty 4 жыл бұрын

I want to be on season 2 forever :)

@elizabethdiannestravinsky6946 4 жыл бұрын

Feels like season 3 and might be taken off the station prematurely AHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

@ariatilah8341 4 жыл бұрын

Literally wrote it down as a quote in my journal

@Niko-qc8uw 3 жыл бұрын

I’m like getting to the end of season one, I feel like season two starts when you go off to university lmao

@misslyntheena 4 жыл бұрын

„Being single doesn’t mean that you are alone!“ LOUDER FOR MY MUM IN THE BACK

@wendiigaxii 4 жыл бұрын

LOUDER FOR THE RELATIVES THAT ASK IF YOU'RE STILL SINGLE EVERY FAMILY EVENT

@misslyntheena 4 жыл бұрын

wendiigaxii hell yeah

@emnakhemiri 4 жыл бұрын

r u german

@misslyntheena 4 жыл бұрын

emna. How do you know 😨

@emnakhemiri 4 жыл бұрын

@@misslyntheena the punctuation lol

@_kyramisu_ 4 жыл бұрын

I think the hardest time to be single is after you felt what its like to actually be in love. The shift back to going about your day to day without being in love in hard. Its like "wait no i just discovered this wonderful life changing thing and now i have to go back to not having it?!?!" First real heartbreak is the worst but the most character changing

@rosachristine3048 3 жыл бұрын

Oof facts 👏

@afnanyahya8077 3 жыл бұрын

Wow you literally spoke the truth. It is insane how much a person's character can grow from experiences like falling in love and heartbreak :(

@priyanshitewari5006 3 жыл бұрын

So true

@got7slyrics127 3 жыл бұрын

yup, i’ve never feel in love but i had a boyfriend and i felt uncomfortable, so i broke up and after that i always feel like i’m in the wrong and i need to go back to him and it felt like i miss him even though i never really enjoyed our time together.

@woman7243 3 жыл бұрын

Yes, I say this all the time. I ABSOLUTELY agree. But it wears off and now I feel whole with just me. Although I am okay with being single (and I choose it, really) the door to "love" is cracked now because I had a glimpse of what it felt like. I will be honest, I don't really like the feeling of wanting to be in a relationship again, but if I am in one, I'd like for it to be better than the last 🥰

@bloomingday4231 4 жыл бұрын

17:00 "don't settle into the mindset of being the sidekick or the love interest. you're still the protagonist of your own life." YESSSS ASHLEY!!! THANK U FOR SAYING THIS... i really needed to hear this

@lyra_v 4 жыл бұрын

"this scene is so sexist my boobs retracted into my body" i _felt_ that...like jesus christ hollywood

@KitCat898 4 жыл бұрын

lyra vincent What part?

@tanzeelala 4 жыл бұрын

KitCat898 6:17

@MariaKarita 4 жыл бұрын

And also to know Megan Fox felt so uncomfortable during both movies and basically forced into filming this as a young actress makes me uncomfortable to watch these movies these days.

@roxypicasso66 4 жыл бұрын

OMG RIGHT?? EVEN AS A KID WHEN THIS CAME OUT MY ONLY REACTION WAS “eww”

@lyra_v 4 жыл бұрын

@@MariaKarita wow i didnt know that and even then it just makes me ew...but thats awful!

@liaf3iry 4 жыл бұрын

Ashley saying “Hunt down a man” just had me imagining a cartoon Ashley hiding in the bushes with a oversized butterfly net trying to entrap a man

@horae2583 4 жыл бұрын

real animal crossing vibes

@emma-hp3vs 4 жыл бұрын

am i allowed to draw this in the future?

@kggroom 4 жыл бұрын

Omg😂😂

@alexandramesakkat6110 4 жыл бұрын

That is just so- cute :’)

@riamayfilm 4 жыл бұрын

emma guillot draw it!

@heyheyvicky1498 3 жыл бұрын

27yo here, 10 months til divorced: Use ur 20ies as Ahley said: have fun out there, make experiences, build your character and your career. There is no warranty the person you have is going to stay. I was in a relationship since I was 20, married and now he's gone, I wasted so much time and didn't do anything for myself, relied on him to make me happy and wasn't happy with myself. The only person you will have your entire life is YOU, so marry that person, love her and cherish her!!!! And don't let society pressure you to do anything!

@soniyatomar7894 2 жыл бұрын

Hope you're happy

@priya9722 2 жыл бұрын

Just broke with my boyfriend. @heyhey Vicky You made my day. You have the exact concept i have about relationship. I mean, nothing is guaranteed in this world so why to cry over broken relationship. There is an entire world to explore and the life span you have, would'nt be enough to do so. So I choose, MYSELF over a Guy. I am the only person who's never gonna hurt Me and also ,who's always gonna be my side in every Ups and Downs of Life. So, Be you and love yourself more than you have loved the person with whom u were in a relationship.

@kategmil 3 жыл бұрын

I'm 30 and still young! Broke up with my long term partner last year and now doing the masters of my dreams. Living with my best friend, studying and making music :) I finally have the time and confidence to be the person I always wanted to be. Of course I get lonely sometimes but I don't miss other people as much as I used to miss myself! ❤

@Janelou42 3 жыл бұрын

Oh... that last line just hit me. Well said there! Im happy to hear you found your path. Sometimes I feel like, when I look at long term partners if they can identify themselves as 'standalone'. Can I still identify myself as standalone? Right now I am being me.. but I also .. miss myself? I guess maybe that is just past 'me', where I had less responsibility.

@hiekfbisnl2772 4 жыл бұрын

My favourite quote of all time: *"Falling in love with yourself first doesn't make you selfish, it makes you indestructible."*

@brinleyburlison460 4 жыл бұрын

I love that so much

@hannahlynn2495 4 жыл бұрын

I did a little "aaah thats so cool" when i read that this is so true

@TheAbele992 4 жыл бұрын

Ok coomer

@Amy-np4rz 4 жыл бұрын

This really got to me because for the longest time I've felt as if the only thing that I should be doing is putting other people in front, and if I did something that benefitted me it would be considered 'selfish' or 'stuck-up' when really, being happy for yourself and loving yourself is one of the most important things in one's life, if not the most important thing. Thank you for this. It also appears that I've got myself a new lockscreen so woot woot.

@nadinengo4627 4 жыл бұрын

pros of being single: you dont have to share your baguettes

@sarai.ruiz06 4 жыл бұрын

Nadine Ngo omg yes

@izzz222 4 жыл бұрын

Relationship or not, Baguettes are not for sharing.

@clemrose9720 4 жыл бұрын

Don’t have to share anything...

@agentwrench 4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to introduce you to the concept of: bestfriend-roommates. Aka, a plague of locust in a trenchcoat.

@boraanna_ 4 жыл бұрын

i'm literally eating a baguette right now 😂😂

@FollowingTheRain 4 жыл бұрын

This is so relatable. Only recently did I finally learn the lesson that male attention is 1) cheap 2) abundant and 3)unrewarding.

@courtneyfaithmis 3 жыл бұрын

Yes me!! I used to get so flattered..... now I’m SO unimpressed.

@maherlynmorency2012 Жыл бұрын

So important to learn

@Key_tiii 3 жыл бұрын

“Every single year, I feel like a different person” I KNOOOWWWWWW ME TOOOOO

@jamien.5528 3 жыл бұрын

Glad I’m not the only one :)

@lordcatmariel3376 4 жыл бұрын

“We are told that male attention is a limited commodity and that we have to hunt it down in order to feel valuable” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤍

@katherinefoote4448 4 жыл бұрын

MC Lord honestly preach

@liz01castm31 4 жыл бұрын

Yes that's crazy

@ledsham9257 4 жыл бұрын

Same for males to be honest , but no hate I’m not arguing against you 💕

@julezburn1024 4 жыл бұрын

@@ledsham9257 yeah, that feeling sucks no matter what your gender or your interest's gender is.

@rekamaria5464 4 жыл бұрын

@Thomas McGill honestly, just same i just commented about this. Why would we blame any society for this bs, it's blantatly just being a species on this earth, surviving like all the other animals, exept we kinda regularly *think* things through (or not, to each their own). It ain't that deep

@saradorame4073 4 жыл бұрын

“Every time that I was single, I was just thinking of it as like a little gap before my next relationship.” This hit me HARD and made me realize I really am uncomfortable with being single.. but I am on a journey of self love and being comfortable with being on my own :)

@leadupont8588 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like Ashley and Lizzo are my spiritual guides on the journey to self-love ❤

@i.i.9274 4 жыл бұрын

We support you!!!

@JustineMfulama 4 жыл бұрын

Wow, that is so powerful. I'm reading the power of now at the moment and it's such a great book that teaches you to embrace and enjoy the presence rather than living for the future.

@olena_503 4 жыл бұрын

I am still very young, but the sex culture in our society really scares me. I feel like i will be pressured to have sex immidiately after stepping into a relationship, when i actually like the "no sex before love" principle. it basically means that you and your partner develop a spiritual and emotional connection before developing a physical one. I am not even close to dating yet, but i think about this a lot and it makes me so confused and worried and stressed...

@Ana-sj5xx 4 жыл бұрын

I'm the same as you, and let me tell you, it will work out just fine. I made this very clear to my boyfriend when we started dating (I was 17), and he waited for months before we had sex and was completely chill about it. If you ever feel pressured with a guy, just leave. There are better ones out there, and you'll find them. Don't compromise on that, it's not worth it.

@olena_503 4 жыл бұрын

@@Ana-sj5xx thanks, i really needed to hear this!:)

@olena_503 3 жыл бұрын

@Queen queen I know that it may sound similar to that, but I am not demisexual. It's not that I can't feel sexual attraction to someone before connecting to them emotionally, I just don't think it's right and good for the relationship to have set too early

@kevincorncone Жыл бұрын

Feel ya! I feel pressured to have sex by the “sex positivity” movement , but I also really like the movement besides that underlying pressure lol

@sharonreneebrownmydiaries9943 4 жыл бұрын

I am 54 years young, single, from Southern Maryland and I really appreciate your honesty in this video. This video is hitting on some points for my life as well. Thank you. I think I'm gonna watch it twice.

@isabelh6639 3 жыл бұрын

sharon brown I just came across this and I just wanna say I hope you’re having a good day. Idk, you just seem like a good person. I just feel it but that’s it. Goodbye!

@clarytaylor8582 2 жыл бұрын

love from another southern marylander :)

@maggiedivine4856 2 жыл бұрын

At 51 ( divorced, 2 adults, great job, in shape, good looking). Time to enjoy life. I have occasional sex, I travel, I spoiled myself… No headache ♥️

@sidesaddleintobattle4984 Жыл бұрын

@@maggiedivine4856 glad your happy I'd date you if I was 70

@SeanMacadelic Жыл бұрын

SoMD represent

@ashleym119 4 жыл бұрын

imagine ashley starting her own podcast.. honestly she’s my favorite person to watch because in all her videos she’s seen as a real person (obviously everyone is a real person) but i feel like you can connect on a personal level to what she’s saying... the comment section is always positive and it’s created a sense of community, where everyone can share their experiences... edit: omg wow thank u for the likes

@jessicachristina9978 4 жыл бұрын

same i would love to have Ashley start a Podcast 🤗

@tranngoc2494 4 жыл бұрын

I couldn't agree with you more! ashley's kinda feel like the best bestfriend i could ever have. even tho i haven't met her in real life lol. like, she can make women feel good about themselves so much and i love that haha

@kaitlynnmccomiskey4533 4 жыл бұрын

She should keep doing it on KZfaq though for those KZfaq $$ podcasts make less

@seventeenolives6682 4 жыл бұрын

Kaitlynn McComiskey She could always post it on both!! personally i love podcasts so much, + itd be nice to be able to choose

@galihazan8167 4 жыл бұрын

Ashley Davids BET. PETITION FOR AN ASHLEY PODCAST

@chloebooher 4 жыл бұрын

Ashley: I still have 9 years until I'm 30 Me a 29 year old woman: Ashley: and even at 30 I'll still be really young! Me: yes

@Eleese__ 4 жыл бұрын

Chloe B literally same

@desertrose00 4 жыл бұрын

she is overtly conscious about her age - she mentions it in every video LOL

@LissetteSanchez 4 жыл бұрын

Same! Glad she said we are still young lol I'm a 31-year-old who looks like a toddler, but still getting that "society" pressure.

@ttmjima 4 жыл бұрын

@Lola Montez and that's relevant how..?

@inlandempyre 4 жыл бұрын

@Lola Montez maybe, fuck off

@justaplantcellundergoingmi1627 4 жыл бұрын

For me, being in a relationship is like wearing socks all the time. (don't question my weird references, it just popped in my head lol) Yes, wearing socks can be comforting since it's warm and cozy but it's not nice to wear them wherever you go, stepping on something wet with socks on is gross and uncomfortable too and it can also leave a stain or rip the socks apart entirely if you're not careful....

@l.u.7834 3 жыл бұрын

I like this reference.🙂

@helingunes955 3 жыл бұрын

Or when its too hot its gross lol

@olehinrichsen3195 3 жыл бұрын

Aw i like that a lot

@falak4535 3 жыл бұрын

And you also wanna let your feet BREathe for sometime....

@harmoniousandtranquilhannah 2 жыл бұрын

dude that's actually a really clever analogy! tweet it!

@Babyteef 3 жыл бұрын

I’m a male and at first when i watched this i was like “wait i’m a guy this is more for women” but even then i agreed with alot of what you said and as someone struggling with simular issues this was really nice to hear!

@shelbylawton8760 4 жыл бұрын

“I feel like a different person every single year” ME

@victoriapetrizzo671 4 жыл бұрын

Shelby Lawton I could actually relate to this so much within the past 3 years. I always kept thinking this in the back of my head. It’s so weird

@calyyygrazie8 4 жыл бұрын

Me every week

@manillargo 4 жыл бұрын

yeah i feel like a different person each day and week. i love mood swings changing my entire life.

@stutid582 4 жыл бұрын

You know, every year 98% of our atoms change into new ones, soooo technically, u truly are a completely new person every year :) ;)

@glossygorl5737 4 жыл бұрын

fuckkk honestjy

@tasheve3015 4 жыл бұрын

i saw a comment that said they’re not pressuring themselves to find a relationship, but they’re looking forward to having one. that’s a super good mindset that i’m gonna keep

@meoow94 3 жыл бұрын

Exactly where I am right now.

@squimbwarftestiballs 3 жыл бұрын

But what happens if you will never find one?

@sasha5294 3 жыл бұрын

Literally me!

@stillchan871 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah that’s what I always think 🥰

@Yikkoofficial 2 жыл бұрын

This sounds pleasant. But what if never happens?? I’m old and single still. It’s been a curse.

@sadie5419 4 жыл бұрын

Honestly, one of my favorite things about Ashley is that she notices how so many people are now thinking that to be a strong woman is to be like a man, or basically taking on both "traditional" roles of a male and female. But i think each gender has uniqueness to them, so a girl can be girly, and not really rely on a guy too. She's just satisfied with herself, and that's great.

@carinej8163 4 жыл бұрын

So, this is the video that Ashley filmed in 2 hours on February 12th in the middle of Fashion Week. All I could think was: This girl works too hard. I 100% understand your announcement that you were going to be uploading fewer videos.

@jisoo1571 4 жыл бұрын

omg yes and then she went on a date with Ryan afterwards like her schedule must be packed.

@astroswirl2870 4 жыл бұрын

jisoo i know 😩😩 single queen 😌🙏

@StimPakTskAwwYea 4 жыл бұрын

Just wanted to address the double standard thing about guys since I'm one of the male viewers in the small % of your male audience... Wanted to shed some light on the opposite side of the standard too. First, I completely agree that it is ridiculous that women are still expected to be in a relationship to "be complete" or "be happy". On the opposite side for guys though, I have personally experienced and discussed with other guys about how there is also almost a "frat" standard for single guys where: Yes it is ok for you to be single but you should totally take advantage of it and be sleeping with as many girls as possible and if you aren't you are either possibly gay or less manly. Guys jump to criticize other guys' masculinity when they see a single guy not actively humping anything that moves and that standard is ridiculous as well! Everyone should be able to be happy single and not judged for why they aren't sleeping with more people or going on more dates or trying to find someone new!!!

@katcansmile3464 4 жыл бұрын

ceekaytee here's your crown king 👑

@daniellefernandes7510 4 жыл бұрын

yess! the mindset towards being single needs to change for everyone.

@Mariam-uy4hn 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah this macho culture is failing both genders :/

@TheJelloash 4 жыл бұрын

Ewww all these boomer ideals needs to stop at our generation please

@joydickerson5210 4 жыл бұрын

I appreciate this comment so much!

@kaylah9081 4 жыл бұрын

Hearing Ashley talk about these “girl talk” topics gives me such a sense of calmness and peace- I could seriously listen to her talk for hours

@kggroom 4 жыл бұрын

Kayla H rightt

@mooncrater1286 4 жыл бұрын

She has that affect on people. It's beautiful.

@Taranymph 4 жыл бұрын

i feel connections on so many levels, it is surreal

@raisajannati 4 жыл бұрын

same she's so relatable and her voice is so calming

@whoneedsalife_4371 4 жыл бұрын

I am always low key upset that every show or movie has to have some romantic interest for like every character or sex maybe that's me being a feminist or asexual

@chandana2113 4 жыл бұрын

Haha I actually identify as asexual (but still feeling romantic attraction to dudes) and I usually get kind of sad about how there's so much emphasis on the character finding a love interest and feeling inadequate without it even though they have so so much going on in their life.

@XLightChanX 3 жыл бұрын

understand where you're coming from, and i agree in some stories where it's really unneeded , but generally stories with love interests are just way more interesting to me (and in some cases more realistic) and giving the vast majority on tumblr shipping everything with everyone in this world, i assume the majority shares this view. even 1984 had love.

@kusumk6220 3 жыл бұрын

Even me asexual

@xmr.ai-emixc2918 3 жыл бұрын

I'm ace too but I'm a total romantic-type. That being said, I HATE that all the shows nowdays seems to focus on relationships and literally, nothing else! It's either, they save x love interest in the end or they save the world and get the girl, or, they fall for this random person and spend the whole movie trying to get with them. Seriously? There's more to life than boy meets girl. I'm not saying that all romshows are boring but, stop making all shows romcoms! Do something else, be original, stop recycling the same "love" plot over and over again. How hard is it to make a friendship plot (involving more than just little kids and animals and family members) or a goal oriented plot, or something involving coming to terms with something, mental health, horror, career, sci-fi, anything other than love stuff!

@doctorwholover1012 3 жыл бұрын

I wish more shows would have romantic pairings that weren't inherently sexual, like I'm asexual-homoromantic, so I still want a relationship! I just don't want the ~sexual tension~ that simmers behind a lot of pairings in movies/tv shows. I was really looking forward to Riverdale at the beginning bc I was hoping to see Asexual Jughead being able to date in the modern day and have that be normal+accepted, but we all know how that turned out 😒

@velvetcake9564 3 жыл бұрын

Being single is the best! I don’t need to stress about anything other than myself haha. I don’t need to “check” with my significant other. Nope, went ahead and booked that trip for a month to Japan. More singles just need to hang out with each other so we can relish in the freedom lol. I’m 34 and happy! I was worried about being single when I was 20. Maybe it’s just me but relationships take a toll on your time, energy and money. You guessed it, I wasn’t in the right relationships and I’m done caring about finding “the one”. You know what? I’m “the one”, I’m going to only live for me! ❤️

@labotraduc8448 2 жыл бұрын

I too feel so free. My whole life I was compelled to be with someone, maybe because of libido, or maybe because everything pushes us to fall in love. Maybe it is natural, I don't know. But because of that I didn't do things for myself, my mind was always too busy with relationship issues and stuff, not enough busy for myself. Menopause has helped a lot, and now I'm enjoying my freedom so much. When I feel some guy seems interested in me, I'm like "no thank you....". There is so much to do in a day!

@_ManaviKamble 2 жыл бұрын

U don't know how much your comment helped me thank you so much. I am 20 and i was worried about finding the one but from now i consider myself as the one . Thank you so much ❤

@imaginaque241 2 жыл бұрын

@@_ManaviKamble me too, but I was about to date a guy who doesn't even love me like I want him to

@jahnaviraman5411 4 жыл бұрын

“our society has a weird way of hating teenage girls” *cough cough tik tok boys

@sanjanajohn8251 4 жыл бұрын

Jahnavi Raman very true

@jusolynflower2770 4 жыл бұрын

first thing that came to mind. literally criticism for everything they do

@saaargummm1868 4 жыл бұрын

*cough cough also middle aged and old people here in India who will always criticize teenage girls ( who are minding their own business, like going to school, tution) for what they're wearing

@saaargummm1868 4 жыл бұрын

*cough cough also adults here in India who will always judge and sexualize teenaged girls ( who are btw minding their own business , going to school, college) for what they wear

@asjsk8286 4 жыл бұрын

Yesssss

@geengengena 4 жыл бұрын

Ashley is the older sister that I never had-and she's 4 years younger than me.

@mathildeb.2609 4 жыл бұрын

Same ahaha

@ANNAKAZBERUK 4 жыл бұрын

Same. But I'm 40 😊

@nghosh91 4 жыл бұрын

Same but I'm 28

@mzkii1002 4 жыл бұрын

same wish I had a sibling li'e her even though im an only child in my famz😢🤣

@SuperMarshyy 4 жыл бұрын

Bro. Never have I related so hard to a comment before. I literally look up to her like she's my role model and I'm married with a kid and she's younger than me!

@LChavez93 4 жыл бұрын

It’s actually so cool to hear another girl talking about the same things that drive me crazy

@joojoo8531 3 ай бұрын

watched this 4 years ago when i was 17, now that I'm 21 I came back bc I needed this. Thank you ashley :)

@kittyvu5045 3 ай бұрын

Me too!

@diana-qf5dw 4 жыл бұрын

me: **already loves being single** okay let’s watch this

@TheSpiritRoom23 4 жыл бұрын

diana same❤️

@krizelleronque7282 4 жыл бұрын

High Five 🖐

@kittenlover5346 4 жыл бұрын

Haha same

@qtchaoo 4 жыл бұрын

agree 😌

@TheReelRaymond 4 жыл бұрын

Good for you, Diana. That's a great place to be. I too would learn to love being single if I wasn't forced to through a lifetime of rejection. Don't get me wrong, there are many benefits to being single, but as a 32-year-old who's never been in a relationship I can tell you that the popular "...better to have loved and lost..." saying is probably true.

@luana.carvalho 4 жыл бұрын

The universe is literally going “yeah, get used to being single, you’re going to be here for a long while”

@angelface333 4 жыл бұрын

when i started being okay with being single and with myself as a whole after having a lot of sex to replace relationships and to fill in my deep loneliness, i found my first boyfriend ever a couple months later and it feels so good but i know i’d be okay if we end up not working out.

@sarai.ruiz06 4 жыл бұрын

lmao KZfaq knows the way I’m living

@user-vy4nr9ci2e 4 жыл бұрын

Fr 😂

@auliisoares139 4 жыл бұрын

you look like someone I know lol you from Hawaii?

@angelalee6529 4 ай бұрын

Omg this popped up on my feed and i thought Ashley’s back 😭 girlie, i miss your content. Wherever you are in life, I hope you’re healing and happy. I wish you resilience and clarity. Stay well!!

@spicyricu7217 4 жыл бұрын

I'm 16 and I'm not even straight which is what makes watching this video so interesting. Seeing how a straight girl's views on society's standards for women impacted her and her love life is inspiring and it also brought light to so many issues society upholds. I have no worries of growing old right now and I know when I reach 30, 40, or even 50, I know I'll still be happy looking for a girlfriend without worrying that I've "missed my chance".

@springlady8337 4 жыл бұрын

I don’t feel bad about being single. I just can’t wait until I find someone who is going to love and treat me the way I want to love and treat someone, if that makes sense. I’m not feeling pressured or desperate. I feel like I am really looking forward to loving and being loved.

@aseofhearts 4 жыл бұрын

Spring Lady best mindset, go u😚

@fionnaadeline7525 4 жыл бұрын

Good for youuu!! 🌟💗

@adelastefan8450 4 жыл бұрын

You go girl 🌟💖🌊

@asillahazman3468 4 жыл бұрын

same i feel like i longed for the feeling of being loved

@glossygorl5737 4 жыл бұрын

couldn’t have put it better myself

@lydiah.4644 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like this "fear of aging" is so common nowadays especially because of our school system. Teachers literally begin asking you what you want to be when you're barely 4 years old. The system forces you make life-altering decisions at like age 12 when the world doesn't even see you as proper a teenager. You're expected to have a realistic career goal and a map of your future family and a retirement plan by the time you hit senior year of high school. Society sees you as irresponsible until you hit 21 and even then, its rushing you to know exactly what you want for your future at such a young age. Maybe it's because I'm an overachieving Asian, but I feel like growing up constantly surrounded by that mentality really hurts what we expect from ourselves.

@girls4722 4 жыл бұрын

yes! in my freshman year we had to choose 3 careers to add to our portfolios and i didn't even know what classes to take next year!

@starbird7729 4 жыл бұрын

Wow. So valid and true!!!

@majikhu5171 4 жыл бұрын

Super white and I agree w u

@peoplethesedays3130 4 жыл бұрын

Say it proud and say it loud! I can relate this soooo much. Im glad we all can :)

@kiara_lofi 4 жыл бұрын

Same I remember throughout school I went from ballerina to doctor to singer to doctor to early childcare teacher to owning my own nail salon to being a primary school teacher to being a nail tech finally now I just want to open my own bakery or cook at a restaurant in Paris but I'm doing accounting life is crazy

@broganlong5001 4 жыл бұрын

1:50 I would not say never criticized. Toxic masculinity definitely exists and the idea of a guy being "whipped" or being a "simp" are examples of men being criticized/ridiculed. Don't get me wrong- I definitely think women have to deal with a harmful double standard. *no hate just conversing*

@isabelh6639 3 жыл бұрын

Brogan long tru tru

@jeonghanie1672 5 ай бұрын

watch this when I was 19, now 22 and going through the college years of being single and experience all that same struggle, then eventually learning the joy of being alone - this really hits home. thank you so much Ashley and we miss you!

@skylar8685 4 жыл бұрын

"youth culture is feeling like someone is going to literally kill you if you're not successful by 25" - Jaboukie Young White

@amarcelagutierrez 4 жыл бұрын

preach

@anyasachdev3212 4 жыл бұрын

“If I kept all my tuition money I could’ve been my own sugar daddy” LOL

@neegas3490 4 жыл бұрын

@DarthYuYevon .......no

@jasmineflower236 4 жыл бұрын

@@neegas3490 ?

@anyasachdev3212 4 жыл бұрын

@Alexandra Hamilton no....

@DaniWorld000 4 жыл бұрын

😅😅🤣🤣🤣

@JamesSmith-qv9qo 4 жыл бұрын

University is insanely overpriced...

@0Flow0 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 31 and been in relationships. I suggest everyone to build a strong sense of self and create good friendships, have your own passions and financial idependence. Relationships can be hard because we all have our flaws and fighting can be exhausting. I like living alone even if I'm in a relationship.

@ashleym119 2 жыл бұрын

After being in my first relationship and it ending, I came back to this video and it made me feel so much better

@sweetbunny6198 2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a coping mechanism and self delusion

@brendaluo27 4 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I feel single af (no one has ever even had a crush on me and I’m 23) but I want to always follow this rule: 1. Don’t settle to just to be in a relationship

@margotlopez9964 4 жыл бұрын

I felt that on a spiritual level. But, don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure someone had a real crush on you at some point. When I was younger I felt like it was impossible for someone to have a crush on me. But after a couple of years and talking with some people about that time in past I realised that some guys did like me, but I was so insecure and so hard on my self that I didn't notice back then.

@chiarouchka1507 4 жыл бұрын

you can also have a relationship without "settling" :))

@violettababenko4847 4 жыл бұрын

I’m sure people loved you and had a crush on you and you just didn’t know

@stephaniesantiago92 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve felt the same way. Honestly I thought something was wrong with me because I have never had a boyfriend and I’m 22. It makes me feel so unattractive at times but then I realized that it’s ok. I mean sometimes I feel lonely but it’s been good to try and find myself.

@carolineblueskies 4 жыл бұрын

I feel you, and continue to keep doing you and not feel that pressure! I didn't really start dating until I was 23 and wasn't in my first real serious relationship until I was 25. If you had told teenage me that, I would have thought my life was going to be over haha. 30 now, in a relationship with the man I plan on marrying. It happened on a different timeline than a lot of other people or what society deemed acceptable, but I'm happy and that's all that matters!

@sarai.ruiz06 4 жыл бұрын

tbh, many women are scared to be single for a long time due to being scared of loneliness & not having a partner to experience stuff with. truth is, single or not,, if you’re happy then that’s enough♡ *feel comfortable being single* , & if you aren’t, that’s ok too! edit; also, this can apply to men too, im just talking like it’s directed to women

@Alex-sv7vt 4 жыл бұрын

I'm sure this is a guy problem as well. With how much we're bombarded with depictions of "perfect" relationships, it's hard not to. My thought is that, until you're happy being alone, you can never really be happy with another person. You'll end up relying on them to make you happy, and that's pretty unhealthy.

@sarai.ruiz06 4 жыл бұрын

Alex I agree

@axica5434 4 жыл бұрын

Love this comment

@MorgansBeauty22 4 жыл бұрын

women*** please!! ‘females’ is a derogatory term🥺🤍

@sarai.ruiz06 4 жыл бұрын

Axica definitely

@gwendelyngomez6333 4 жыл бұрын

I love how I clicked on this video with this expectation that it was going to be about relationships and singlehood but instead it's exposing all the false beliefs that I have internalised growing up because of the media. Which is great! There is so much truth in what you're saying and thank you for taking the pressure and blame off of ourselves and helping us see the bigger picture and how to shift our perspective so that we can be happier with where we are - single or not.

@BigbangG5 3 жыл бұрын

I get the whole'' slut-shaming'' part so much! It's ridiculous! Im a proud independent woman who loves sex and falling in love with souls for a night and enjoy life with all it's perks and ups /downs! I probably had about 20 sexual partners in my life or so ?! And who cares? I don't regret it, sex is awesome, the reality is, I know what I deserve and what I look for in a man and the reality is, it's hard to find that guy you want. I love being single after so much practice, I love my freedom, that I can pack and go for a solo trip when I feel stressed and just live my life and enjoy meeting beautiful strangers on the way. I think it's quite sexist to think a woman should only have like max 4 sexual partners, it's the 21st century and we deal with so much more shit than guys, they can't take away the joy of sex and nobody can stop me from doing it!

@mmmmyeah1849 3 жыл бұрын

More power to you❤️

@YaraMelAround 3 жыл бұрын

Love this energyyyy!

@rosequartz2290 2 жыл бұрын

You expect to find a good mind after all your reckless behaviour?

@weenusfranklin2752 2 жыл бұрын

As long as your using condoms preach

@rosequartz2290 2 жыл бұрын

@@weenusfranklin2752 Accept that behaviour is more likely to spread new diseases

@ItssMare 4 жыл бұрын

Ashley: "You are still the protagonist of your own life" Me: *in tears* y-y-you right, I can do this

@sapontarabora5567 4 жыл бұрын

Same girl, same!

@anahisanchez3816 4 жыл бұрын

I feel the same, like wth you are right, I can do this

@Alex_itimia 4 жыл бұрын

YOU GOT THIS GURLLLLLLL

@tanyasharma9847 4 жыл бұрын

*in tears* you do got thisssss!

@leiahok7873 4 жыл бұрын

YAAAASSSSSSS

@wwlmaria300 4 жыл бұрын

“You are still the protagonist of your own life, even if you’re having a rocky time right now. Give yourself the time and the passion to write your own story”. Beautifully said. It’s actually very encouraging and comforting.

@adityabajpai308 2 жыл бұрын

It's been so long since she left KZfaq (or probably not). Anyway I still watch her old videos everytime I'm on this app. The way she is so relatable, raw and brave to even talk about such issues, accepting her flaws and what not. Ashley you are freaking amazing and inspiring. It feels so good to have someone talk about these things because I personally don't have anyone to have such deep conversations with. Everytime I feel upset or low in life I just watch her videos. Now that she is not uploading at the moment I feel this void it's weird to explain. Not that I want her to come back to KZfaq just because I feel this way. I'll just enjoy my time re-watching her videos.

@elenaslavova2870 Жыл бұрын

It's 2022 and I still rewatch this video sometimes when I feel like I need a girl talk. This channel is still such a safe space even though she doesn't upload anymore. Hope she is feeling better

@TumiYukii 4 жыл бұрын

I've been single for 24 years. Never had a boyfriend or been kissed, liked plenty of guys but it never worked out. It'll happen at the right time, I'm just focusing on myself & KZfaq / art. When you achieve your dreams it puts you in the right place to meet the right person. Plus when you're alone you have all the time to mature & grow as a person (:

@saranyaa7712 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this comment and this reassurance! I'm 19 and I always feel like I need to date someone just because everyone around me is and I don't want to you know? I feel like there's so much for me to do and so much for me to grow as a person before I share my life with someone. I think it's totally okay to be single for as long as you choose to be single. 💜

@ekatarina6869 4 жыл бұрын

yes sameeee. it happens when it happens

@Chasch_Daenke 4 жыл бұрын

You put my thoughts into words, thank you :)

@vashappeninjas 4 жыл бұрын

same but im 21! im just focusing on my studies and i have an amazing relationship with my friends and family so i get all the luv i need

@sm9855 4 жыл бұрын

So nice to hear that😊

@Sapphiregirl1000 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like being single should be the default and relationships are just happy exceptions. That's the way I see it, I'm the same age as you and have had one relationship and I resisted entering one for a very long time. I feel like women are expected to be in relationships and coddled/'taken care of'. Are only seen as worth something because a man wants her. Being single isn't an affliction to be cured.

@tahn4579 4 жыл бұрын

Sapphiregirl1000 The funny thing is though, despite the expectation to be “taken care of,” women do SO much of the emotional labor and the “being there” for the guy. It’s freaking exhausting

@BirdeCyn 4 жыл бұрын

💯❤️

@kggroom 4 жыл бұрын

Thiss

@SieMiezekatze 4 жыл бұрын

Perhaps you an aromantic?

@h00liaa 4 жыл бұрын

@@SieMiezekatze girl... did u even watch the video cuz maybe u should lmfaooo

@Tara-pq2jj 4 жыл бұрын

OMG...that part when you talked about being a "late bloomer" felt that so bad. I had my glow up while I was at uni as well (in second year) and it helped my confidence so much!

@MeganZhang 3 жыл бұрын

This is so interesting because I watched this earlier in the year as a high school senior and again right now, after finishing my first semester of college, and its crazy because some of the things you said resonate so differently with me now. The mentality of wanting guys attention, the enamorment with physical attractiveness, value as a woman decreasing, the expectancy to get married by a certain age... and as she talks about her journey through college, I get the feeling that I'll understand more about what she's talking about careers and success too.

@michelle-zi3qs 3 жыл бұрын

same i watched this last year before getting into a relationship and now i relate to this video so much differently

@elida7601 4 жыл бұрын

I’m almost 18 and never had a boyfriend or a first kiss. Some of my friends that are in a relationships act like that is the most achieving thing that you HAVE to do in your teen years. I personally feel like I’m not ready for a relationship, I just don’t like being attached to someone and having to talk to them like 24/7 and that is completely fine. I feel like focusing on my career and things that are much more important to me at the moment. And if anyone else feels any kind of pressure in this situation, just remember that it’s your life and the “time stamps” for certain things happen when you want them to happen. Love yourself first and also someone else if you want to 💘💘🥰

@bristichoudhury3678 4 жыл бұрын

I really admire your mindset!

@mariajoseruiz5373 4 жыл бұрын

I FEEL YOU. TOT AGREE W U

@Sonyrocks1Of 4 жыл бұрын

Elida Bukvic no offence but you sound so negative your views on what a relationship is are silly your career should have nothing todo with a relationship a real relationship is something that makes you feel electronic and washes away the bullshit of the grind and the rat race we enter for the entertainment of others

@elida7601 4 жыл бұрын

SuperTopCat didn’t mean to come off as negative but I get where you are coming from. I know it’s not supposed to feel like you’re being pressured into something and I just don’t feel like I’m at the point of my life where I see it as something gratifying at least. I don’t see relationships or commitment as something bad of course but for now I think it’s not for me 😊

@sasha-kim5071 4 жыл бұрын

@@Sonyrocks1OfAndin her own way she's respectfully saying she still hasn't found that and that's completely fine. She wants to focus on her own growth until HER time comes which is also fine. That's what she's saying, she's not bashing anyone and their beliefs, their the ones criticising her, that's what she's saying

@vokkagirl 4 жыл бұрын

“Buying a vibrator is not a bad step” See, this is why you’re my favorite youtuber

@norahaz8523 3 жыл бұрын

Well not in all countries allow selling these. In my country it’s illegal.

@multistannerbitch7109 3 жыл бұрын

Felix Bruyns why should using a vibrator be a sin, i dont want to disrespect your religion but don’t push yours onto others either.

@sofiastoltzfus3521 3 жыл бұрын

@Felix Bruyns so a woman is not allowed to feel pleasure by herself?? That's BS.

@yooablossom3496 3 жыл бұрын

Felix Bruyns stop pushing yourself religion onto other people. And pleasuring yourself is a sin? That’s bull shit 🙄

@amyukulele 3 жыл бұрын

Felix Bruyns get over it, felix x

@alwayssleeping28 4 жыл бұрын

This woman has so much wisdom omg. Thank you so much. I feel like you’ve put all of my repressed fears and anxieties into words and it’s really nice to hear that someone else knows what it’s like and can clarify how I feel when I don’t even know myself sometimes:) You’re awesome!

@mjix1984 4 жыл бұрын

As someone who's older than you and your subscribers, I appreciate what you said about growing older, acceptance of yourself and revealing your personal growth and realizations. You're not going to die alone, older skin is empowering and you learn shit loads of valuable knowledge as you age. Good for you, Ashley. You're way beyond your years.

@christinedo3528 4 жыл бұрын

“the confidence that only a 17 year old right after she’s taken her SAT could have” i’ve been attacked 😭😭

@emmalaurent3117 4 жыл бұрын

Ashley : “No matter how my life turns out, it’s gonna be a fucking blast” Me *eating cookies and fangirling over this video* : “... P R E A C H”

@emmsklooz 4 жыл бұрын

Dammit now I want cookies

@TheSummerOfGeorge1 4 жыл бұрын

go get a job, waaaaaaaamen

@dreamingofthemoon 4 жыл бұрын

You are in Ashley's story!!

@emmalaurent3117 4 жыл бұрын

Some day just saw it! Thank you 😊

@gleseamv 4 жыл бұрын

TheSummerOfGeorge1 where did all these incels come from? what are you doing here lol

@cameroncarroll6741 4 жыл бұрын

Hi!!!! I’m 18 and about to go to college. Your videos are so refreshing. I want every young girl could watch them. Thank you so much!!!

@bellagalloway4735 4 жыл бұрын

Cameron Carroll I love you

@mnm5543 4 жыл бұрын

my 2 year relationship just ended, so this video is really comforting right now. Thank you so much for making it

@vallegarcia8325 4 жыл бұрын

Turned 19 today. I've been a single pringle my whole life. Barely even had real life crushes, not even actors. I've never kissed anyone and I've been told to lower my standards my whole life because when asked about "A man you find attractive enough" I answer "Henry Cavill"- by everyone except for my dad, even my therapist- but just a few weeks ago I realised something truly important. Every single time I like someone my creativity just goes down the drain. And as a highly creative and imaginative person I HATE that feeling. So I got to the realisation that what I'm looking for is some kind of muse. Someone that inspires me to create and be the best version of myself. Not just any guy/girl that comes around paying me a tiny bit of attention. We have to know what we're looking for in a relationship. Jumping in a pool that has no water will only hurt you. Of course we will try and fail, so we'll have to try again. But knowing what makes me happy and what I want in a partner has made me feel so much better about my insecurities. Just wanted to share this thoughts with whoever wants to read them.

@claudineniyonkuru1144 4 жыл бұрын

Happy birthday to you. 💕

@younesson6452 4 жыл бұрын

i'm lgbt living in the middle east ,i'm 22 and never kissed or been in a relationship ,it's almost impossible ,so be greatful at least you can if you wanted to

@vallegarcia8325 4 жыл бұрын

Claudine Niyonkuru thank you so much

@vallegarcia8325 4 жыл бұрын

younes Son I'm very sorry for you and the circumstances you're living. I am grateful for the liberty I have here even being lgbt myself. Take lots of care

@nata6025 4 жыл бұрын

Ok, but Henry Cavill? Girl, you have excellent taste!

@niconicodii 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve never appreciated identifying with a KZfaqr as much as I do now, this was the most needed and kindest call out video to my own unhealthy behaviors and opinions of myself.

@Sonyrocks1Of 4 жыл бұрын

Nicole Dunkak omg wah wah wah I hope u and your sticking brater have a good life together 😂

4 жыл бұрын

You just don't want to love being single. REALLY. You need a partner, you need a family. Years will pass and you will be freaking alone. Don't listen to these stupid youtubers.

@annikanielsen740 4 жыл бұрын

Bence Illes but why do you NEED kids and a family?

4 жыл бұрын

Why? When you get old, who will support you? Whom will you look upon to when you need help? You want to stay alone, without any help, any family? Think about it. I'm 30 right now, I feel like I hate kids and I don't want any, but I know that's not how life should go on and I hope that I will change my mind somehow.

@lytruong1074 4 жыл бұрын

Bence Illes why does your happiness have to depend on someone else? I know an old man who never got married. He’s 60 now and he’s traveling the world, living his life happily. Plan your retirement to support yourself, you can have a family if you want to but you don’t need one to be happy.

@chantellesantos6919 4 жыл бұрын

You really are incredible even though you may not feel that way all the time, you definitely inspire me to love myself and certain moments of my life, but you also make me realize that it is okay to be upset and alone sometimes and that its normal to not always be okay, thank your for working so hard on your videos it means a lot to me at least, don't work too hard though!! :D

@l.m.2019 3 жыл бұрын

thank you so much for this video, im just at a time in my life that i really needed to hear this. Even if we can never meet irl, i feel like we are friends like in our souls. I feel connected to you and thank you so much for putting yourself out there and talking about your experiences it really is worth it and you really are helping. Thank you so much for everything and im praying for you always. i love you.

@BeingDaphne 4 жыл бұрын

I’m in an almost 6 year relationship now. I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 19. And I had realized I felt like my whole life revolved around him; what I did, who I hung out with, how lonely I felt if he was or wasn’t around or if he called me that day or not (we don’t live together). I was feeling really low. But a few months ago I finally woke up and decided I wanted my life and happiness to be based on what I wanted beyond my relationship. For example, reconnecting with friends and making new ones outside of my partner’s circle, not stressing if he didn’t call me everyday, and like Ashley said, being the protagonist of my own life. It greatly improved my mindset, happiness, and reality. I am more independent now which my boyfriend wholeheartedly supports. We love each other but he was sad to hear that I felt like if we were to ever break up I would have to start my life over completely with almost zero other friendships where I wasn’t just “his girlfriend”. Now, I live closer to friends, have an almost weekly wine night with one girl friend and group bachelor viewings with other friends. No boyfriend needed. And I feel so much better that I have my own life. We are still together and love each other but my independence makes me feel more comfortable and confident in my partnership. 🥰

@rain-cb3ze 4 жыл бұрын

Happy for you bb

@isabellafraser4111 4 жыл бұрын

Good for you

@BabyBellaMarie 4 жыл бұрын

I love this!

@aijou1606 4 жыл бұрын

so inspiring! you go girl

@adagioborntrager4456 4 жыл бұрын

Same exact boat! Been with my fiancé for 6 years now, since we were 16. It definitely can take a toll on you, especially during the teenage years where there is so much personal development and growth. I am so proud of you for seeing that there’s more to life than just a boyfriend, but that it doesn’t mean you have to leave him completely. They make us so happy, but our happiness can’t be dependent on just once source. We need plenty! You go girl, hoping you the best💕

@spacechitts 4 жыл бұрын

19, never been in a relationship, never kissed. Used to worry so so much about it, feeling very unwanted and ugly with zero self worth. Then realised I'm the one pushing people away, then further realised I'm scared of relationships and it comes from so many sources and insecurities as to why I view it in such a bad light, as an exhausting burden. Still working on that yikes but also learned to be single and very content now, doesn't mean I don't have days of feeling absolutely needy and watch romcoms the entire day and cry over 2D anime boys. But relationships will come around when I'm ready or when Im ready to 'search out' for it. Also ageing. That topic hit home I almost got teary lmao. I have such fear and loathing towards ageing that everytime I hear about old age, ageing or then and now pictures I get so uncomfortable and feel like crying sometimes. It's an issue. I feel like time is running out and there's so much that I want to do and I don't have enough time. I'm so stressed ugh it's still take a lot of time and work to reach that kind of mentality Ashley has but I'm so thankful she spoke about it. It really helps. LIKE BITCH WHO IS DOING IT LIKE HER. She's such an inspiration to so many of us ufff

@rebeccasignori 4 жыл бұрын

Chitts Jr 16 but same. Next year i’m doing an exchange year in the us and I’m scared about missing out of opportunities to find a boyfriend. I would love to find one, the problem is I don’t really like anyone. I want to experience being in a high school relationship but can’t manage to find someone that is interested in me and i like him back (?) . Idk waiting for a prince to come knock on my door I think lol. I’m happy though, But sometimes i feel lonely and think I’m running out of time and time will Pass too fast. So.. yes. Thank god ashley talks about these things and how to be single and giving 0 fucks

@michellechu5777 4 жыл бұрын

19 turning 20 soon and I cANT RELATE MORE.

@spacechitts 4 жыл бұрын

@@rebeccasignori the struggle of finding someone you like is real! But let's never get into a relationship just for the sake of it. Don't sit around waiting for him to come knocking tho! Go out and get cho man. Lol of course it's easier said than done but still. There's plenty of time maybe you'll find someone you like in US, if not then that's okay too. I know we have time and we're still young and I shouldn't be in a rush but I feel like I missed out on being dumb naive 'teenagers' falling in love, sure I'll find love when I'm older but keyword being older. Lol I felt those teenage years were trial years and I missed out 🤦🏻‍♀️xD

@Cestmoiquilaifaitt 4 жыл бұрын

19 to be 20 and same over here ! Ashley is inspiring me and I wish I'll grow as much as her. I believe we have to focus and work on ourselves before any boy even though it's not always as easy as said. But one thing's for sure WE GOT THIS !

@katmercer4581 4 жыл бұрын

Me too!! 💖

@lemongacha 4 жыл бұрын

been rewatching ashley’s vids for the past week and it’s so comforting!!!! it really takes me back but also assures me that i’m ok!! and that a lot of the standards i end up internalizing are just causing me more stress, so it’s ok to grow past it and try to love myself 💖

@MariaLunaDelRey 4 жыл бұрын

This video had so much factual, calming and such comforting words for me and other single girls. You are amazing. I relate to this so much and I’ve actually stopped caring for dating apps. My next “time slot” isn’t dependent on a relationship with a man, but rather growing on my own and that excites me so much.

@user-bp9tp3fr6q 4 жыл бұрын

“you are the protagonist of your own life” -Queen Ashley.

@kittusim8520 4 жыл бұрын

It's line from Mob Psycho 100 tho.

@maddiee2534 4 жыл бұрын

*Reigen

@user-rt4wc3cf9w 4 жыл бұрын

Mob Psycho

@sylvie9590 4 жыл бұрын

She literally said this as I read it lmaoo

@JustineMfulama 4 жыл бұрын

YES!!!!

@Rye404 4 жыл бұрын

"...but now I think of my life as like a sitcom with ten seasons and I'm just at the beginning of season two. I have so much time in my life before I figure out who the f*ck I am, I'm gonna have so much growing to do, all these different jobs, all these different cities..." That's actually pretty inspiring? New favourite quote/mentality (which is probably gonna go up on some wall in my new apartment)

@annregnitue1641 4 жыл бұрын

Michelle so true, loved that

@dietchie 4 жыл бұрын

This video is all the mental sets I need. I am 22 and just ended 4 year relationship. I realized I stopped challenging myself to grow better as I settled in a relationship. I want to feel growing and being independent again. Thanks Ashley❤︎

@bope6244 4 жыл бұрын

Your videos are my comfort zone honestly. I’m happy whenever I watch your videos. It’s like I’m catching up with my friends. Love you Ashley x

@Anne-ug4jv 4 жыл бұрын

When I got out of a long term relationship, what helped me was Hayao Miyazaki's films. They romanticize normal, everyday tasks like commuting, cleaning, and cooking. It inspired me to enjoy my own company. *edit: I'm very much glad and happy to hear that a lot of people can relate! What a nice community Ashley has.

@ren7068 4 жыл бұрын

Anne Cadavos this,!!!!

@lalalovinlifelala 4 жыл бұрын

💖💖 love this, I feel the same way

@elisesuarez9215 4 жыл бұрын

this is so true! what i love about his films is that while the aspect of adventure and excitement is never lost, it also shows the beauty of everyday life and domesticity. 💖

@starbird7729 4 жыл бұрын

Yes!!!!!! Love his films

@majikhu5171 4 жыл бұрын

Anne Cadavos when I saw this comment I decided to look up this guy to see what films he’s made, and then I saw they’re all Ghibli movies!!! I need to rewatch them all tbh and I think this is a reason to :)

@AzureSparkz 4 жыл бұрын

I love the analogy “my life was a Rom com, now it’s a sitcom and it’s only season 2”. Idk why that actually hit me.

@rissaroo1824 3 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad I found this video. I’m now starting to love being single and doing everything on my own! So empowering. Thank you!!! 👏🏼💕

@khristianrachelle2941 3 жыл бұрын

Just got out of my first relationship and me rediscovering this video couldn't be more timely. I love your channel and how honest it feels. You make me feel not alone, which I really need right now.

@rea-lm1hr 4 жыл бұрын

i love how open ashley is about this stuff.. like she's not just a fashion "influencer" she's kind of like a big sister that gives actual advice. i rly love these type of videos

@the_socialphobic_girl 4 жыл бұрын

IKR! Me too. She's like the nice older sister that I never had . The only "influencer" who actually influenced me : )

@sarai.ruiz06 4 жыл бұрын

I know, she’s the older sister that I’ve always wanted 💗💗

@jeannevee8459 4 жыл бұрын

my older sister is nearing 40 now and her motto is: "when the perfect guy comes, then he'll come! if not then i won't die single, I've been a part of this family!"

@Samantha-vi3jo 3 жыл бұрын

@Pickel Sandwich I think everyone has their own definition of perfection...She meant perfect for her.

@Samantha-vi3jo 3 жыл бұрын

Pickel Sandwich ...finding the perfect fit doesn’t mean Prince Charming...Perfection doesn’t mean the man is perfect, I’m talking about the fit...

@Samantha-vi3jo 3 жыл бұрын

Pickel Sandwich she can be and have what ever standards she wants. I was merely correcting you because you missed the point of the original comment. My age is none of your business and I question yours with a username like Pickel Sandwich and who can’t seem to grasp the basic thing point I am trying to make. I’m probably talking to a 16 year old lol

@ktcb5429 3 жыл бұрын

Pickel Sandwich wtf? Its up to HERR!! We all have different opinions of perfect. “She shouldn’t be picky?” Boy- i-

@Samantha-vi3jo 3 жыл бұрын

@Pickel Sandwich Yeah and there are MILLIONS of old lonely delusional men out there too.

@user-my8qj 4 жыл бұрын

21:39 this is so fucking true and accurate. i realized that advantage of being single when i got into a relationship. We really need that time for ourselves especially in our teenage years building our life and personality

@Premchik 3 жыл бұрын

I love this little film so much!! It kept my interest every single second of it. I love how you are able to tell important things and film them in such a catching way! I'm in awe!

@savannahhartje4490 4 жыл бұрын

Me: *is married* Ashley: *posts video about being single* Me: *clicks immediately* On a real note, I felt that whole validation from attractive people thing. I'm a chubby legend and college guys in their early 20s do NOT appreciate that. Its so strange to be around the college dating scene because 1. I'm not dating and 2. Even if I wanted to, I would be shunned because I'm not thin. So I find myself wanting validation from men even though I'm on general pretty cool with myself and also in a relationship where I can get endless validation. We've all been socialized to fucking hold up male validation like it's our prized possession.

@fridahanekroot1277 4 жыл бұрын

Amen

@chelseab2258 4 жыл бұрын

my exact thoughts when clicking this video!

@rose191991 4 жыл бұрын

same 😂

@caraliiina8453 4 жыл бұрын

Omg I’m only in my first year of high school and I feel the exact same way. Thank you for putting it into words!!

@daisyduke717 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve been married 20 years and I still find value in videos like this. As a wife and mom, my personal value can sometimes get lost in serving others. Being reminded to be my own self actualized individual is so damn important!

@sagefairyy 4 жыл бұрын

pleaseee start a podcast :)) you give me so much confidence in being a women while also being apart of such a misogynist society where women are put down for their age and their looks. i appreciate these types of videos with all of my heart; you are such an inspiration !!!

@marlalorenaproharamgonzale3505 4 жыл бұрын

Amanda Galarza I would loveee a podcast too 😍😍 hope she sees your comment!

@hidnpnts 4 жыл бұрын

we live in a society where both men and women are set to an unhealthy set of standards and it really effects teens/young adults into thinking what their life should be like. Im hoping the future has more positivity for both genders.

@wolf114xthatsme6 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah same. I'd just say that men get put down too for not being fit and such. Good video!

@loefoto2824 4 жыл бұрын

yes!!!!!

@kaminoishi8040 4 жыл бұрын

Yes! Podcast every week! 😍

@kavyachoksi2564 2 жыл бұрын

This was such a amazing and wholesome video and you covered it from such a vast perspective. I related to this so much and got to learn so much. I’m having a little ‘freshman Ashley’ phase of my own but this just made me feel much more confident! Love you Ashley

@lifewithkailee. 4 жыл бұрын

This was a FANTASTIC video. I have very quickly become a serious fan of your work, Ashley! Watching your videos feels like I’m having a conversation with myself or a close friend. I’m going through a point in my life where I’m realizing all of these preconceptions that I have about being a woman and my innate need to be in a relationship, and I just really want to be single in order to figure all of that out! I love the way you analyze your own thoughts on relationships even as you put them out there - you take the time to actually consider whether the way you’ve rationalized things is biased. This is what I do in my daily life as well and I have only recently begun to apply it to my thinking about relationships! Thank you so much for this video and speaking your truth and telling us your experiences and how you’ve grown. Its the transparency and vulnerability that we need on KZfaq, and on social media in general. It’s everything I’ve been needing to hear. 👏🏼

@sil9179 4 жыл бұрын

American relationship culture is still so weird to me. I live in The Netherlands but had an exchange with a high school in Maryland last year. It was such an amazing trip and I have made some lifelong friends but the culture was definitely weirding me out sometimes. In NL, high school relationships aren't really that common. Some people have one or two but it's more common for people to stay single during high school (not that we don't date/kiss/whatever, it's just that the ultimate goal usually just isn't a (long-term) relationship). I think that Dutch kids just get raised with the idea that we still have so much to explore: I'm 16 and I'm not thinking about settling down at all. But to get back to the exchange: some US girls literally asked us "why don't you have a boyfriend?". They didn't mean it in a mean way at all, they just genuinely didn't understand. I feel so bad for US boys and girls for the amount of pressure they have to think about those things at such a young age

@paulamitic9157 4 жыл бұрын

Croatian here and can agree with this as well. Relationships are pretty rare in high school and if they happen, they happen, and don't last long. American relationship culture is really, really weird to us just as we're weird to them. For European kids, our focus is on friendships and future education for the most part. Meanwhile some American kids are already settled with a long-term partner at 19, like, what?

@eileen9898 4 жыл бұрын

Same thing in Germany as well ✌️ the majority of us were single and/or were in very few, very short term relationships 😂

@Mariam-uy4hn 4 жыл бұрын

Same, I grew up in Geneva, and relationships are quite rare or a thing for popular kids. I don't understand the mindset that you're missing out if you don't have a relationship when you're young, or if you're sexually inactive? It shows how today's social standards are a product of the country's media and culture. It's not innate.

@crustytheoz1369 4 жыл бұрын

Cécile I was born and raised in California and I always felt like I was too young and lacked a lot of experience to just get into a relationship and care for another on that level. It felt too much for me whenever I thought about it (not that I didn’t like anybody). I think Americans like to rush into relationships because they know they don’t need to have a long term relationship, most know that after college they will probably move far away and break up. Might seem fake but they just trying to get more relationship experience early on.

@Uhhhitsgabby 4 жыл бұрын

I got married at 18 I do feel like there is a pressure but we both weren’t happy back home and we both love each other. I always had a boyfriend or had a crush on a guy but then in highschool I just stopped dating and interacting with people because I became so depressed but my now husband has helped me grow as a person 😁 I have a few friends in the Netherlands and they always asked me about my relationships. It’s cool to learn about dating and relationships in other places but looking at it now I do see that American culture is weird. We force people to grow up too quick unfortunately.

@Doeneseya 4 жыл бұрын

*“Step one: buy a vibrator.”* 😭😭

@lexi_barely_lives 4 жыл бұрын

“That’s it, that’s the video” 😂

@Doeneseya 4 жыл бұрын

•Lexi Lives• 😭😭

@klara7226 4 жыл бұрын

My parents were next to me 😂

@Chris-pv7iy 4 жыл бұрын

she's got me dying of laughter

@saltwaterharper7290 3 жыл бұрын

Going through the hardest breakup of my life, and this turned my sobs into crying laughter (I’ll get back to smiling eventually lol!). Thank you ❤️🚀

@shunyeen 3 жыл бұрын

I love how honest you are! That's just amazing! You inspire me so much!

@kat4503 4 жыл бұрын

“Step number one is buy a vibrator” I’m dead

@charlies.5306 4 жыл бұрын

but is she not right? xD

@liabarker3194 4 жыл бұрын

Thats the video thanks for watching 😂😂

@sarai.ruiz06 4 жыл бұрын

lmaoo fun

@machaelagblack7545 4 жыл бұрын

I was like ok straight in with it fair enough

@misslola145 4 жыл бұрын

It’s true tho

@luvillamil1 4 жыл бұрын

Funnily enough, I've felt both sides of the coin. I'm 21, in a long-term, loving relationship, and I feel the pressure to "enjoy my 20s", "be free" and participate in hookup culture, even though it's definitely not my thing and I'm really happy as I am. Women get criticised no matter what we do 🙄

@evilkookieleader 4 жыл бұрын

I've gotten this too. Been with my partner since I was 17, 6 1/2 years now. I wasn't planning on a relationship, I was actually keen to not be in a relationship but he just fell in my life. But people are always judging that I've been in a relationship so young. But I am super supportive of people being happily single or happily in a relationship

@randomname9703 4 жыл бұрын

Could it be that these "happy being single" videos are only helpful for some people? Don't these videos put up illusions for other people? Aren't we individuals with different feelings that we can't change? I have been single for my whole life and my anxieties are getting bigger and bigger. I question myself if i'm just bad at being single or too dependent of a partner. Would you be as happy being single as not being single? If the feeling of being free is as strong as the feeling of being in a relationship, wouldn't only be every second person coincidentally in a relationship?

@mol7825 4 жыл бұрын

I was really happy to see a comment like this. I’m 20, and i’ve been in a relationship with my partner for almost 3 years now. I feel like its actually way more common now a days to be criticised for this, and to appear to be prudish or inexperienced if you’ve only ever been involved with one partner. “Hook up culture” actually seems to be at an all time high, and the new “norm” if anything, and i’m not against people being a part of this, because each to their own. But its funny how I’ve been told i’m too young to find my life partner and want to settle down with that person. I should be going out meeting loads of different people, sleeping with loads of people in order to “experience” being in my 20s? I think Ashley made a good point in her video about it being okay to not feel pressured by hook up culture if it isn’t your thing, because it isn’t everyones thing, and a lot of people feel pressured by society to participate in it and not have normal long term relationships or fall in love.

@priyankaghosh312 4 жыл бұрын

Funny enough, very relatable, when i was in college for first 2 years I was criticised subtly for not being in a relationship, now dating for 2 years and in my early 20s, i am being told to let loose and enjoy the hook up culture.

@jessestradaa 4 жыл бұрын

I’m in the exact same situation and it’s such a weird spot to be in

@aliciashao1658 4 жыл бұрын

I watched the NY fashion week video so now I know you filmed this at 3:00AM. That's dedication. Love you girl.

@priyanshudahiya8267 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks Ashley for existing and making videos. YOUR VIDEOS ARE GEMS.

@rebeccacummings6774 4 жыл бұрын

me: i wanna be single bc being tied down in a relationship will make me feel limited and i still wanna be selfish also me: i wanna date this guy i know that listens to me with genuine interest and is supportive and helpful and funny

@undefinablechrissify 4 жыл бұрын

In a healthy relationship you shouldn't feel tied down or limited. I am in a relationship for two years now and I feel like I'm able to do more than ever before. It depends on the partner you are or aren't with :)

@LouiseWinnie 4 жыл бұрын

@@undefinablechrissify me too..should still be able to have free time where you dont see each other so you can do your own hobbies etc etc. but everyones different and some people like being single so just do what makes ya happy :)

@oiiiie457 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like relationships will never work unless both people are comfortable with being alone and are comfortable with themselves. Cuz if not, they'll be very dependant on one another that they lose themselves

@cayennepepperrr 4 жыл бұрын

YESSSSS!!! I have a friend she's very sociable (yeah best thing to describe instead of clingy) so she's not very fond of being alone and one time she broke with her bf and then said to me she wanna find a new bf I tried (once) asking her to not cuz you're not mature but yeah girls that age just wanna have one you know just have it or have it so yeah she got a new bf then after graduating she complained to me about her bf rarely come find her and only spend times with his friends and then she broke up with the bf I'm like whaaaaaa? There's so much stuff going on my head and I feel so dang bad for the bf and at the same time not cuz they're not ready but still they became a couple that's so not the right move and now that she's single she kinda cling to me a bit which sometimes irritate me Side story: after breaking up she still tryna get the boy's attention like whuddd? And when we're going out if there's the boy's friends cousin family whatever she would just cling to me and said "I'm scared" yoooo wtfuh I'm a bit annoyed but being the gud flend I just ok. I'm a bit mad at her but she's not a very bad friend so I did not just yell at her or anything just sometimes a lil bit advice

@lola-kw6we 4 жыл бұрын

this>>>

@lalalalala2024 4 жыл бұрын

Yassssssss

@rebeccaperez2689 4 жыл бұрын

I would love to have chatty introspective videos you do are always what I play when I'm feeling down. Being single, living alone in New York City, and in the middle of quarantine, you've really helped remind me why I actually do love it sometimes. Thank you.