My "Christian" narcissists wife used that verse against me regularly... after I'd gotten up at midnight on a Thursday, worked all day delivering chicken, jumped in the car, driven 400km doing grocery shopping for her (in my spare time) arriving at midnight Friday night to a bed that had no less than a metre of clothes that she insisted on sorting b4 I could go to sleep; then starting an argument just to piss me off. Yeah. Quoting scripture should be to encourage & exhort/ reprove 2 Tim 3, but who gets to decipher?

Or angry woman!!

Or angry woman!!

Thank you for this comment.

I had a friend until recently who was continually angry about one thing after another. Anger is contagious. After reading her vituperative texts about the things that irritated her I would start feeling irritable myself - or dumb, because I was not noticing all the stuff that she thought I should have been mad about. She had strong ideas about how situations should be handled and would tell me how I should handle them. Then she would interrogate me to see whether I had followed her advice. Of course it infuriated her when I didn’t. I finally withdrew from this friendship. At any rate, I know by personal experience why God warns us to avoid these people.

You definitely did the right thing! The Royal We site has a really good video on why the Church cannot help . Jesus gave you the grace you needed 🙏 You hear sometimes well meaning believers say God will change him . Narc never see that they are wrong. His healing over you 😀

I stayed with mine for 32 years. He did the worse abuse and I walked out, gave up my job, and went as far away from him as I could. I

God Bless you 😓

Me too.....he even admitted He cannot change, which is so opposite to christian humility. He was willing to live in a state of "war" forever, him being God in the house. I had 4 daughters to try to protect. So much pain in my kids is ongoing. I pray God will heal them, as He has healed me. I have to thank my ex, because of his narcissistic behaviour I ran to Jesus!!!!

That’s a sad mess makes me sick

Thirty two years for me, but have only understood in the last few years. Thank you for such a Well put description. I too prayed my heart out…with no change. I think I should have instead asked God what should I do? I feel the Church is coming to a Better Understanding of this. All i felt then was divorce was wrong ( unless there was something more obvious like infidelity) and the next thing around the corner was going to turn things around. The more isolated we ended up being the more foggy bounderies got - I thought i was fighting for a Godly Marriage while my husband was just battling for constant supply…I was doing Everything to try to keep things going - while he was just keeping us oppressed. The other lie i was believing was that marriage is naturally hard so you had to strive and strive to be obedient. The Church needs to promote Healthy Boundaries - my husband was saved but put himself Over God not Under. You put in Perfectly above! Loving and Continued Healing! You showed Great Strength - and divided scripture beautifully above ♥️

@@jodi578 I hear you! It was the same for me for too many years. Constantly trying to be a good wife and support my husband but it was never enough. Thankfully we are all learning more and more about narcissism. Actually I only identified him as a narc recently as this information has been talked about the last couple of years. I wish peace and God's blessing to you and your family.

Kailie M I'm hearing you! It's not ONLY men that are narcissists. I'm a guy, mid 50s who was attracted to a woman who you are describing! She had most people at Church believing her. She even volunteered her time to help set up a Christian based political party here in Australia, then later helped the Full Gospel Business Mens Fellowship International with their computer stuff. At home she shopped me out of house & home, then whinged about me to her Christian Lady's "Encouragement" group. And they believed her & sympathised with her

Praise God you got free! Blessings

@@gailblunt2133 she left me 9 years ago this month, but I haven't seen my oldest daughter coming up to 6 years in April. She turns 18 in March. A LOT of changes happen between 12 & 18 and 😥

I’m so sorry you went through that type if abuse. Its almost like he created his own little cult. I’m glad our Lord helped you through that.

Mines does this to make me feel guilty for boundaries

Thanks for sharing! I recently called off an engagement because of this ❤

Mine does the same!

Spiritual abuse😢

Can you explain what you mean by don’t let the narcissist revent you from fulfilling Gods plan for you

@@crystalpatrick8262 not revent, I meant prevent, typo

Wow...dear Lord! This was the best comment i have ever read regarding this topic and the most accurate description of a narcissist. Indeed, they are demonic and there is no hope for these people to be saved. Talking about GOD to them will make them even more angry. They are evil spirits.

I agree. I was married to one for 32 years. Their life is shrouded in lies and who is the father of lies? I posted a comment, too. Thank you for your post.

"Evil" is an invention of the church

@@dagifelner9298 it is the opposite of the goodness of God

I believe they are truly demons and can only be saved by exorcism. If that doesn't work they need to be locked away until dead.

The narc will endeavour to smear your reputation with friends and family if you aren't feedingbtheirvneed for attention and admiration. I'm alone because even my family believed the narc. It's sad.

@@joywebster2678 yes, my first husband did that to me and my current husband has been in the process of doing it as well. I’ve learned that these types start doing that from the beginning, as sort of a thought out attack ahead of time just in case of any relationship issues. Once you realize how premeditated it all is… it helps you grasp hold of just how evil it all truly is, which helps you let go…

Depends on the type of Narcissist that he is. Some tell their "friends" that their spouse is the best-thing-since-sliced-bread since it shows what a good picker they are.@@joywebster2678

Sharon check out Kris Reece Christian Counselor Scripture Based. She is out standing! I guarantee you will learn tons!

Kris Reece is on U-tube

Praying for you. Praying for the kids. Praying for HER. God sees your faith thru this!

WHY SHOULD YOU BE ASHAMED IF SHE PROVOKED YOU TO ANGER...COMON DUDE...DON"T BE ASHAMED..

Your children are not stupid, they see what is going on. Maybe they thought you were finally honest with a back bone. I wish my Dad would have stood against the nonsense and helped us. Ask them for forgiveness and move onward. Jesus died for all sin. He got you in that one.

I feel sorry that you had to go through this. Oftentimes, it's women sharing their stories, but I also know many men who are victims of this, too. Prayers to you.

Prayers for you

I hope you and your child are free of that evil now. You are not the problem, never forget.

I feel for you! I'm also married to a narcissist and we have a 5yo, 3yo, and almost 1yo. He is hardcore atheist and when I even mention God or the Bible it's as if I've thrown holy water on him and the demon inside him is lashing out, it's pretty scary, so I try to avoid all talk about my beliefs in his presence. He's made sure that I am fully dependent on him for the last 6 years as a stay at home mom so it would be difficult to escape, he controls all the money so that I cannot spend a penny without his permission. Please pray for me also. I'm praying for you, and for our escapes!

@@loridaisy6736 thank you for your prayers. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this too. Its horrible! We will be ok as long as we trust in the Lord. I will keep you in my prayers as well my friend.

I did the same as he acted like a complete demon. And Proverbs was my biggest help. Knowledge and wisdom became mine. Bless you.

Proverbs what verse?

@@abbey4026 search for it

Amen. A deep daily dive into Proverbs. Interesting how few churches do that from the front.

@@Ymcdaj How? Proverbs doesn't have a word for "Narcissist."

N

I wish you would talk some sense into some Christians I've met. Same with pastor's. I had to walk away from more than one situation because they don't understand God's compassion on those who have been downtrodden.

@@susanrhodes5681 I know what you mean. I've not experienced much love among christians or support actually rejection, made me sad, its like you can't talk about any issues, when your in meetings you can't get relationships there's no time after the meeting everyone goes there on way back home,only being alone is not what I expected

@@susanrhodes5681 ...Remember, not all, including pastors, are truly saved. Not saying your pastor is or isn't, but pray hard for him to be understanding and compassionate. If after a while nothing changes, find a new congregation....that's what I did. Matthew chapter 7: 13-28.

@@DominicvH I'm sorry that you have had so many unfortunate encounters. Many of mine were quite disappointing too. I should mention that I was raised by s@anists and my father was a "christian" pastor of a mainline denominational church and practiced s@anism as well. Those who were on the board and served in leadership were also s@anists, this was in 3 different states in 6 diff. churches. Some of the members were also involved while others were clueless. Since I got saved as an adult, when I was sent to seduce a pastor of a truly Christian church, I got saved, however, there were a number of s@anists besides me and as they did multiple destructive things they managed to split the church and that pastor retired. I didn't do it willingly, I had a tremendous amount of mind control that created other personalities. After many hours of prayer and counseling, they have become integrated. The Father has established a ministry for me. I spend many hours counseling people that have been mistreated in church and your story is much more common than you would think. After having more than one attempt of involving me in s@anic rituals in more than one church, I realized that most are very toxic and truly poisoned by the enemy of our soul. While it is tempting to believe God isn't aware, I tell you that He is very angry at these liars. Read the Book of Revelation and Matthew 24, 25, Jesus says depart from me you workers of inequity, I never knew you. Their lies will not stand as truthful before our Lord! Read Psalm 56, He hears our cries and collects our tears. I haven't been in a church in a decade. If I find one that teaches in my huge city I will attend. I still listen to sermons online, I recommend Revelations of Jesus Christ as an excellent, uncompromising source, here on youtube. May the Lord bless you.

I’m in the same boat! It’s so difficult, because we are in the same church circles. She is super charming, and no one would ever believe me over her.

​@@doloresrobertson7265I am in the same boat. I finally had the courage two months ago to go no contact out of necessity because she was causing me to stumble in my walk. Last month I reached out saying I would meet with her but only in the presence of witnesses ( Godly family members) and she is refusing saying she only wants to talk to me alone. I declined saying I can only meet with others present. The Bible instructs us to guard our hearts. She is very careless with her words and actions and has caused me tremendous amounts of pain. The only way I can move forward with her is with strict boundaries in place. She is resisting against the boundaries but, that's the only way I am willing to have a relationship with her. Otherwise she will continue to try to cover me in guilt, constant shame, and fear/threats/intimidation. I have learned that she would rather me be in bondage to her then free in Christ and that's unacceptable to me.

​birds of a feather flock together. EMPATHS SEE.

Same

When my husband began to physically abuse me the first week of marriage. Then refusing to attend church the second week and not long after raping me in a public place in front of his friends to humiliate me. Oh, he also played Russian Roulette into various body openings and pulling the trigger I was ready to leave. My church told me I would be sinning to divorce him (later in week 6 when the doctor diagnosed me with several STD's and I had already learned about the girlfriends (one he asked me to call and break up with her for him, I refused). The Lord had already told me that HE did not want me to be abused! The adultery was revealed to show me that God had no issues (I had already believed that) but that was like a plane in the sky with a banner saying "Get Out!". I did. He drained 43K from my account, I had just got an accident settlement that left me permanently injured. He bought a house with it. The Lord told me, "it would not go well with him" for lying and misrepresenting himself as born again - the Lord had told me not to marry him.... He died at age 44 of a heart attack. The Lord told me it was from a drug usage (I didn't know he was an addict when we married). My point trust the Lord to guide you in handling your contact with abusive types. I have found a great resource, Dr. Ramini here on you tube. She is very wise and teaches on narcissists, she is Hindu but she understands Christianity well and even makes some good comments on it. I have had amazing healing through her insight. God Bless You.

Susan so sorry to hear what you went through! I ask Jesus to pour His healing love in to you ❤ He truly delivered you from evil!

@@susanclifford1094 Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

@@susanrhodes5681 Oh my God, poor soul! I wish you a happy and wonderful life from now! Bless!

@@susanrhodes5681 whatever church you were going to is wrong. There are three cases in which God specifically says it is okay to leave your spouse, 1. If they have physically hurt you and will not repent of their ways, 2. If they have sexually betrayed you, such as cheating. (Plus, I KNOW God doesn’t like rape, even if it’s within marriage. It’s wrong to use someone like that.) 3. Shoot I’m forgetting what the last one was, whatever, from your story I know within my heart that you have every right to leave. I hope things have gotten better by now.

I was listening to Dr Romani Durvasula being interviewed by this guy & he ask which professions attract Psychopaths (on the extreme end of the Narcissistic spectrum. Her answer (not exhaustive by any means) 1: US Presidents. 2: CEOs of companies. 3: The Clergy. Is it really THAT surprising to us that we meet many narcissists in Christian circles?

Amen! This scripture came to me as he said that. >> Can two walk together except they be agreed. " ~ Amos 3:3 Blessings!

I have a friend who’s a narc, I just shared the truth with him over and over…I believe God can change a life. I didn’t realize it at first at I didn’t see him often. Once I realized what I was dealing with I wrote him a letter and told him I knew and continue sharing Jesus and that Jesus could heal his wounds of the past, whatever it was. After I shared all I could I had to go no contact, it’s on him now. The Truth was shared with him…. I have moved on in my life. Jesus has it! 🙏🏽💪🏽👍🏽

how about a girl friend "Narcissist"...who ..prays the Our Father ..at night with you....and every night you must forgive her for her ...sadistic..emotional trauma..she puts ..me through.from time to time...very strange indeed....EVIL PURE EVIL

That’s why prayer is key I dealt with this while their some traits still he is changing and I see as I follow 1 Peter 3 and stay in prayer he is being won over . It’s baby steps but he is after 15 years . I’m also learning how to respond to him and what to pray for him. I mostly pray the word and I have a great support team . God has given me tools too to grow and walk in his spirit. I had to seek God only I still was his wife and mom to the kids but I didn’t depend on him anymore when he would say things . I put my whole dependence in the lord and have seen him work . The lord told me as you seek me I will draw him back to you. He now is doing things of the spirit but bc of bad habbits he learned some are still their but I am seeing growth then before . I’m thankful for this miracle

​@@brandibee7058 Hi. Thank you for sharing this! I married my husband at 20 years old. We both are children of God but I haven't seen any spiritual sincerely from him after now 15 years of marriage and 2 kids. I'm just realizing what he really is... Your story sounds like what I needed to hear... I would love to connect with you for spiritual guidance for my situation with my narc husband of 15 yrs. Please respond if you're interested...

Love and faith will be your guide , do not dwell on the past , chose positive actions that you can achieve each will bring you strength and renew your hope and faith.

VulnerAble Narcs Seem To Be The Most Evil,... Sucking People Back In Thru Their False VulnerAbility

Truly I understand..

I pray for the narc but I stay away.

@@whatistruth1155 ...BECAUSE THEY DON"T CARE A RATS HELL ABOUT YOU...DON"T KID YOUR SELF..FEELING SORRY FOR THEM WILL ONLY MEES YOU UP EVEN MORE....CAN"T FEEL SORRY FOR A RATTLE SNAKE....

Prayed for you.

Just stay engaged for no do not marry until you for sure know cause it’s gets so bad after all that I’m still married to mine and have 2 kids with her and she even does this with my kids making them upset at me and jus all sorts of mean stuff

People with BPD are the favourite targets for those with NPD...it is easier to emotionally destabilize them, getting the drama they crave, and the BPDs innate fear of abandonment means they will cling onto the nard no matter the abuse they give out. Those of us who were raised by narc men are attracted to them as partners because they seem familiar and comfortable, which should be a big red flag. Narcs also love bomb and promise fake futures until they have you locked into the marriage. Then the kindness falls away, the promises don't happen, and finally the abuse escalates to feed their need. Yes I'm a Christian psychologist.

@@joywebster2678 I've always wondered if I am bipolar. Everything you just wrote resonates with me... very scary. Thankfully my current girlfriend is very good for me... gentle, never demanding, values my boundaries & says she feels I'm valuing hers. Life is finally looking to travel in a healthy direction slowly, steadily

@@barryduff5058 good news is bipolar is treatable with medication since it is a chemical I'm balance. Bpd or borderline personality disorder is much harder to manage because there are no medications.

YEAH WHAT YOU SAID..IN DETAIL..I..LOVE YOU IN JESUS NAME....

Prayers for u trust that god has a plan he loves u so much

Sweetie the Lord loves you and you don't deserve this. Get out asap. I was in a similar situation. I will pray for you.

Listen to your gut feeling and heart. Can you stay somewhere else cause narsist never do anything wrong and blame you so that you will feel bad, don't go into that trap..stay strong and know you are more worth than his attitude is a sin to treat you on respectfully!

@Naomi Mojica yes, and now cant date others because Im still married.

It’s not you dear one. You deserve to love self and put self OVER lies. Love her! 🌹😘

And my mother would tell you in a minute, she has a relationship with God, she knows he loves her, and he lives in her. But, quick to dismiss you in anyway she can, manipulate, guilt trip, gaslight, control, criticize, very judgmental, will question others salvation, go to church like she is a saint, and a victim. Told me after she purchased a car, "See I told you God loves me, because you said he didn't!"...huh??? Oh and by the way her children are sinners but not her! I now have the truth of the word of God inside me. Without acknowledge and understanding who the real sovereign God, not them, wisdom will follow. I'm healing and I am determined to be the best version of me; just by the effects of her covert narcissism over the years. I'm 51 yrs old and never felt freedom like now. Amen!

@@natinamack5123 Amen. Covert type narcissist's in my mind are the worst kind of narcissist, they live in complete denial of the truth. They are a real Jekyll and Hyde character.🎭

@@steadypace1262 you said it my dear! On point and so totally true!

@@natinamack5123 Thank you, enjoy the rest of your day. Blessings to all Survivor's of narcissistic abuse. Strength to us all.🙏

Helle Freude I agree and distance away from a narcissist is the best thing to do. Their need for power and control will be their downfall.

Sad for you..i pray to God that narsist people will have a bad time they deserve it.. They make people lives miserable. Can you not leave your mother? Stay with someone you know?

SCARY IS RIGHT...SCARY FOR SURE....THE EYES OF A DEMON FROM HELL....OH I HAVE SEEN AND HEARD THE DEVIL..FOR SURE.....RUN FOR YOUR LIFE...

Very true

Put on the spiritual armor of TRUTH at every turn. Speak it in tough love, meaning speak it firmly and without apology, without backing down. Repeat to him as necessary that you KNOW the truth and aren't going by what he says - especially every time he tries to confuse you, every time he lies and you know he's lying, every time he bullies you, etc... Tell him point blank that your first and highest commitment is (and always will be) to JESUS, that you first gave your life to Jesus, not to him, and that he (your husband) only comes AFTER Jesus, not before Jesus AND not equal to Him. When an unrepentant husband is evil toward you, the actual believer, he is devoid of authority from God to "be head over you." Why? Scripture says, "But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man..." (1 Cor. 11:3a) A man who rejects Christ's headship over him is refusing to abide by the "chain of command" authority that Jesus commended in the Centurion (Matt. 8:10) as being superior faith. Accepting Christ's headship comes BEFORE the husband can be the head of the wife. If the husband is not himself in submission and obedience to Jesus, then he has not received that authority since it's CHRIST'S headship that must determine the relationship between husband and wife. It is NOT the other way around, with the husband determining the wife's relationship to Jesus. BIG DIFFERENCE! You don't need to fear for your spiritual condition in the sight of the LORD when you speak the truth and refuse to worship your husband instead of God. There's only ONE God, and your husband's not Him.

Seek God first wherever you are in life. But know that His commands to forgive and keep trying to win others with love and to be ready to answer, etc, never applied to abuse. He kept silent in the face of his accusers when they were determined to have Him crucified. We give power to abusers over us if we keep getting drawn in. Educate yourself about NPD. If they don't receive input, can't be reasoned with, shift blame, are entitled, judgemental, gossip, manipulate, change the story, belittle others, play the victim, etc, you may need to leave for your own mental health and that of your children. Note if there's favouritism ... they often have a scapegoat and a golden child.

Well said

Leave them if you are not married to them, AND DIVORCE THEM !!!!!! IF YOU ARE!!! These are full fledged DEVILS!!! of the highest order, I would even go so far and to say they are a PRINCIPALITY, it is totally all encompassing, they are MASTER MANIPULATORS!!!! And they want to sap your, SPIRIT, SOUL AND BODY!!!! They essentially could care less any thing about you or anybody, and sad to say would not shed even one tear at your death!

May I encourage you nothing is impossible with God . 1 Peter 3 talks about how to win the unbelieving husband . Keep praying for him also Mort fortel marriage fitness program is amazing and has helped my husband and I reconnect . I’m doing the program alone and it’s making a difference

​@@brandibee7058 thats not very good advice and could actually be discouraging. I tried all that. I prayed and prayed and prayed for 16 years. I fasted. The man did me such damage. I would never have left him because i believed because i was a christian i could win him over. if i prayed enough he might change because i certainly could not speak or tell him anything. He only grew worse.Finally all my prayer paid off. I had asked God why he was not answering my prayers and cried out to him continuously. The Lords answer was that he was answering my prayer but the man was not listening. He even had an open vision once of me standing in a field crying big tears. He had it while driving. He came home and thought i had cast a spell on him. Well after 16 years he said to me "i left you a long time ago and im an unbeliever. Im going to set you free". He divorced me, i didnt have to do anything. I didnt fight it and i was set free within one months time our house sold and divorce final. 5 months after that i met my now husband who loves me so much. Gods timing was absolutely perfect. My husband now loves God more than anyone i know. Sometimes/most often you cannot win over a true narcissist. God showed me later he was controlled by satan and maybe even possessed. I will never know. And he will never know how much i prayed for his soul. Maybe if he falls hard he will come to know Jesus. I dont really care because he is no longer my concern. Ive been married to my loving husband for 15 years now. I did not know i had been married to a narcissist till a few years ago. Butbat the end of that marriage i was suicidal and keeping up a full time job. Looking back i only survived by the grace of God and i would tell anyone in that situation to run. Someone like that has to fall hard to look up. And they wont fall if they have someone who is feeding their abuse.

I've grown to love Kevin from The Royal We in the last 11 months

I need supernatural strength and help. Recently left a narssasitic marriage and feel like I can't get out there and survive or work or trust. Please keep me in prayer

What description?

ACADAMY AWARD ACTERS....ABSOLUTLY..RIGHT...TURN AROUND AND SMILE AT YOU...RIGHT AFTER FAKING SADNESS AND CRYING TO ANOTHER...

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/gJqcaaiTu8eucas.html

RC6to9 totally agree, often the traits overlap. I have been an eye witness to these people who murder. They were so "clever" they never had consequences though I went to extraordinary measures and had many attempts on my life as a result.

@tiana thompson the people aren’t demons, there are demons in them, those are your enemies, not the person displaying the narcissism.

Top Commenter: Thank you 👍👍

He told me he will kill his ex wife instead of annulment

That is the key "want to" not even God can change someone that doesn't want to change. He's given us all a free will.

Thank you for this. God let us free of our choices, even if we're born again. My husband, 33 years long, didn't show any fruit of repentance after his conversion and never changed. Everybody and circumstances of life were responsible for his porn addiction, inclusive me and our children ! He left and asked for divorce after cheating on me. He still sees himself as a "good christian" and attends a very liberall church. How ironic...

I have been married 50 years. Yes 50. I knew for many years something was not right in my marriage. Husband became born again 2 years after myself. In early years he shared his faith, we had Bible studies in our home for years. Saw many come to Christ. However, I said many times I felt like I was living with Dr.Jeckel and Mr. Hyde. I now know what I have been dealing with for so many years. Through counseling and educating myself on this subject of nbd I am getting free. “YOU SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.” I’m grieving over this, but will move on in wherever Jesus leads me. I have become stronger in my faith and who I am in Christ. I am living for Him.

Good Gracious I read your comment, it's weard to come to the conclusion that Pastors can be narsisist, I've couldn't never think that it exist because believers should have there behavior how the Bible teach..sad for you to go trough this and as you wrote he had married so many times that is not at all right Can't understand such people that are leaders in Churches?

You can't always run Deborah. Sometimes you have to work alongside these people every day or maybe they are family relatives etc.

@@aonyx5270 your response shows complete ignorance of how diabolical this sbuse is. The victim doesn’t have to do anything but run!

I have worked with Christian therapists who believed every word my narc said and didn't believe me at all. They encouraged me to 'let it go' and admonished me for not being a 'good' wife to this narc. Just because they are Christian doesn't mean they get it.

@@kaileim970 It saddens me to the core that Christian psychologists will give such dissempowering advice!!! My current girlfriend was married to a very selfish man for 25 years & most Christian advice was similar!!! She eventually found a good, supportive Church... but out of her 4 children, only 1 is a believer... but 1 who sees her mum's sins with a large magnifying glass & her own as if looking the wrong way through a pair of powerful binoculars! What do we do if the encourages in our Church lack the courage to confront people who need confronting & therefore are TOTALLY Illequiped to impart courage to us? When you find the answer to that question please tell me, because I'm at a loss🙄

@@karinteeples6517 A good friend I've known for 30 years met my then narc wife at a Christian business conference in Melbourne Victoria (Australia) His response to the situation was extreme, but I needed extreme. He said, "Barry; if you rang me from Darwin (Northern most Australia) and said you'd walked away from your beloved 15 acre hobby farm, walked away from your business & got a job up there to get away from her, I'd be VERY happy for you". He got it. I held on to my business... and lost it. Still got the hobby farm 400km from the capital & am recovering quietly. Extreme abuse requires extreme measures

Thank you. I needed this. I’ve been searching for a Christian perspective that makes sense to me that allows me to leave without feeling like I’m doing wrong because God hates divorce.

I think what you said is so profound..., if one person leaves vs staying in it... Definitely something to think about... Thank you

I empathize.

With you.

You just told my story....we have been separated a year now...

well WHAT have you DONE about it? DONT tell us you are still WITH HIM!! get a divorce and start living; go no contact and move AWAY>>>FARRRR AWAYYY...

Agreed. See Matthew 18: 15 - 17.

So very true. Matthew 5:46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same?

I’m searching for the answer to that too, how to help someone who suffers from a Christian Narc. The best advice I’ve gotten is to pray and leave them, however, said person cannot leave. I just wish there was something that could be done. But I can't find any answers to that wish.

@@artscraftsgaming7169 It is definitely one of the mysterious. I do believe in prayer but at the same time I see harm coming to the victims. It feels discouraging but we have to keep praying knowing it can go on for years. I ask the Lord to send guardian angels to surround my loved one and keep him safe physically and emotionally. It’s very hard to witness. I will ask the Lord to give you peace and confidence in Him. I’m so sorry you have to go through this hardship.

@@artscraftsgaming7169 The person that suffers from Christian narc needs to break soul tie with that narc, this is how demons transfer from narc to their victims. And person suffering needs to be delivered himself or herself from that spirit that keeps them in slavery thru the narcissist. Then that person can start doing spiritual warfare against narcissist, and that will make narcissist's demons uncomfortable. And God can provide the way out in the way that person suffering might not even imagine. And most important is to come close to God.

@@lyubovkirpicheva6090 but what if the narc is a Christian? I also don't think that's how demons work either.

@@artscraftsgaming7169 I was writing about Christian narc. I wrote from my experience, this is how I got free from narc.

Yes, finally I realized a few months ago I am in a narc relationship with a so called Christian!!!!? It’s painful and crazy.

Same. However I cannot escape for many years to come. I already feel like I’m dying, and tbh, praying for death to come my way. I know it’s not right but I’m so tired. I find it even more frustrating when people tell me maybe I’m reading them wrong, that they are good Christian’s. That I don’t understand what I’m talking about because I haven’t gone through real abuse. That I have no right to feel or express my misery. I hate it. I hate myself. I’d never take my own life because I know that’s wrong, but that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming about it.

I pray for you. I am there. Torture.

Sorry to have to add that when I typed kill, I didn' t finish that sentence(among others, probably due to the distress in my mind these days, being a victim of adulterous narcissistic abuse for over 5yrs now.) Kill isnt the exactly clear term for what God tells us to do as in government to control the rampant spread of the hideous sin of adultery. He commands that we are to "put to death"( as God sanctioned government) the two (or more, now in today's common sexual depravity )found who have engaged even once in the act of adultery. Jesus can forgive the sin of adultery, if He sees TRUE repentance +a complete elimination of the behavior, when the offender goes from the point of forgiveness+sins NO MORE. BUT it's particularly evil for an adulterous minded person to "try" to use God's forgiveness as a bank check to do continue to indulge in lustful adulterous behaviour.The Bible states that such a person's damnation is just. But to put away sin from the lives of the people witness to the adultery, God not only approves , but demands the putting to death on earth of the individuals guilty of disobeying His specific laws regarding adultery. It is an extremely serious crime against society ,as well as on the Christian +non Christian spouce, who are so greatly emotionally harmed +diminished by it. The adulter can enter Heaven, if he truly forsakes his sin ( which may only be done by the power of the Holy Ghost to break free from it). But even the forgiven adulterer still owes a debt to society that is commanded by God to be paid on earth,for his trespassing assault on the moral support of the foundation of morality in all marriages in humanity. I DONT believe people recognize that altho Jesus is tremendously all merciful, those who don't abide by His laws must pay the consequences of each sin they commit. According to the capitol punishment laws of God, any person who commits murder as well as commits adultery against anyone should be put to death in society, because it is brings such destruction, a mortal wound on the spirit, really , from the spiritual assault to all of the lives of everyone, including the adulterers who have begun +are also bringing about an unstopable process of death to their own souls by the sin. They are destroying themselves as humans who belong to God (having been made in God's image),worst of all. Adultery is a terribly life+soul destroying sin that should not be allowed to go unaddressed as God Himself taught us in His Holy Word how He wants it dealt with in due +timely justice by our government on the earth, even if the adulterers appear sorry. Even if a pet choses to hurt anyone,or another unprovoked pet or anyone's livestock, it should not be allowed opportunity to continue to have opportunities to cause hurt to any of these again. When adulterers choose to hurt their spouces thru adulterous acts, they should not be allowed the opportunity to hurt their spouce again,without what God deems as righteous punishment for that hurt. If you disagree, you will have to ask God why you are disagreeing with His laws+ rules for punishment.I am only agreeing with God's true judgements. Neither He or I enjoy the foolishness of anyone, having to die for something evil that they did, but this is a choice that they made to choose to do something so evil that God forbids it+ commands earthly governments to put to death those who do such wickedness. Not obeying God in His command for capitol punishment for adultery has caused the magnitude of rampant malignant toxic sex sin throughout our earth. It certainly will belp usher in the more rapid return of Christ, IMHO. God bless all who seek the truth in love.

@@carolsanborn5332 are you an author by any chance?

@@Joshuarcade LOL, Joshua, dear man, I apologize, for you obviously suffered thru reading my whole long winded comment( about what God says is to be done governmentally about the sin of adultery). Having been a victim of narcissistic abuse all of my life; I was easily deceived into marrying my husband , only to learn that he was a lying adulter, among other evil things, after nearly 40hrs of his narcissistic deceit. I'm a little bit devistated, to say the least, which causes me to agree with God's remedy for the crime of adultery. There are so many people who are permanently, mortally injured in their brains+ hearts, like myself, that it is a shame, IMHO, that our government's forsaken the adultery crime victims, by abandoning capitol punishment, as commanded for the protection of all society, not to allow adulterers+ adulteresses to skip away, scott free, when they cause devastating harm to so many innocent victims. I realize that anyone who has no first hand experience with the damage that occurs to the betrayed spouse, might not appreciate the seemingly endless run on sentences of one who is in a position of intense suffering. But I assure you that this intense emotional pain, such as I have on a continual basis, can cause such long winded venting, as I regret that I am known by myself to do. Please forgive my unmindfulness that others besides David would possibly become fatigued by trying to make sense of what comes out of what's left of the mind, when a spouse has been repeatedly pummeled by adultery by way of continual narcissistic abuse.🤯 TY for not being more cruel in your sarcasm.😏

@@carolsanborn5332 I wasn't being sarcastic :( I actually thought you were a writer. Yes, the comments are lengthy but I guess my error was assuming you were a writer, but I'm pretty sure I asked, only it came off as sarcastic. I'm currently co parenting after 9 months of abandonment from wife and with God's help and if it be His will we plan to begin divorce process come November (due to Country's year separation before divorce law) I've come to know peace and frustration in the same season of this period of life. The peace keeps me going, my daughters are my peace and joy :) but I know that every good gift comes from God. I hope you're well, stay strong and courageous!

@@Joshuarcade My apologies again, Joshua. It was very thoughtful of you to respond+ be so supportive.8^) I'm glad that you sound as tho you have great faith in God,+ get alot of happiness out of your relationship with your kids, in spite of the terribly brutal abandonment of your wife.This narcissistic topic has been 5yrs worth of gathering information for me, from various channels, about how most people who abandon their spouces are likely Godless Narcissists. After checking all of the telltale signs of Narcissism, I'm pretty possitive my husband is following the same basic demonic script as most of the classic cases. Have you been learning more about this thing that they're calling a "personality disorder"? My husband admits that he sees now that the Devil used a married mother of a teen son (who lives just 3miles from where we live separately now), to tempt him into bed with her, after she literally flattered his pants off. If only he was as spiritually dedicated to obeying Jesus as I am, he could have resisted as I do , whenever someone tries to tempt me to cheat. But if one doesn't have the Holy Spirit indwelling them for real, the evil spirit of Narcissism can make a weak soul give in to wickedness. I've been trying to work with my cheating husband for 5yrs ,forgiving+reconciling until 3yrs ago, when his persistantly deceitful ways finally made me realize that no matter how much potential I want to believe he has, the fact is,- he doesn't have a genuine heart change, to put Jesus first,+hasnt given up his secret connection to his adultery partner. I finally threw the towel in, + filed divorce, so he would see the fact that if I refuse to let him toy with my heart, (like a preditor with its prey), maybe The Lord isn't going to let him play games with his salvation either. He only acts despirate to move back in our home when I talk lawyer. I know he doesn't choose to please God first, because he showed me he has no integrity, so his honesty act is just a facade.I'm so sorry, Joshua, it must be heartbreaking for you +your whole family. We don't have to reconcile marriage when they've committed adultery, but we do have to forgive, for Christ's sake. Guess I've been living with Narcissists too long, + automatically assume that I'm being mocked whenever I get feedback for anything I do. I'd like to believe that everyone is a nice + kind Christian, but that hasn't worked out for me so far. I do have good support from my 40 yr old son, who lives next door married with 2 kids. He's been in awe of my ability to not go completely insane,(as those poor folks without faith in Jesus tend to do). You stay strong in the Lord, too, dear man. All of the sufferings of this life WILL be worth it, if we endure, trusting in Christ the Saviour till our last breath leaves our body. I hope you also have a good church that helps you +yours,too. I choose to lean mostly on my Lord Jesus, closer than ever before. He's the only one we can always count on, Joshua. 8^} God bless you !

YOU SAY THERE IS A REASON...HA HA HA..OH REALLY...YOU TELL ME WHAT IS THE REASON...I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW...MY DEAR ABUSSED FRIEND...GOD BLESS YOU AND GIVE YOU STRENGHT TO MOVE ON ..TO A GOOD HONEST PERSON...

Amen!

See videos on Deliverance prayers!

May I suggest you a book? It's called "search for significance" by McGee. It's not easy for people who have been raised by parents that for some reason could not reflect God's love to identify God with a loving God and Father. That book explains very well about it and it also teaches what makes us stand justified before God. I'm still learning myself. It's a very good book based on Scriptures. I highly recommend it. There might be even groups out there at churches whom he could do it together with. I think that it is really awesome that your husband admitted it.

It is simple if you humble yourself, which to narc is think us a challenge, but can be done if they want to. Admit your a sinners. 1 Corinthians 15:1-4. Christ died was buried and on third day rose from the dead. He shed his blood for your past present, and future sins. He did it all, and there is nothing we can do to get to heaven. Believe. Call out to him. There is no specific prayer, persay. It has to come from the heart. And believe the gospel. Again, 1 Corinthians 15:1-4. I hope that helps.

Hello Lisa, tell your husband that the law can only reveal sin and condemn. Like looking in the mirror, it can reveal what is wrong, but it can't fix the problem. Besides, animal sacrifices only covered sin. The word atonement in the old testament meant "to cover" but the blood of the lamb (The lord jesus christ) removes sin in order to atone for old testament, and new testament believers.

And mine just goes silent and stonewalls because he used to yell and then he learned that silence actually hurts me more because of my abandonment triggers, so he used it on purpose. Just evil. I’ve been wondering for some time now how he can be a “Christian”. Crazy thing is… he helped me find Christ years ago… But he has no fruit. Or empathy.

Same. And he’s a Christian who always wants to share the Word too

Going through the SAME EXACT THING!!!

Your auntie sounds EXACTLY how my former bible study leader is. Sits at front of Church so she can interject with the pastor during his surman. Always WAY more sensitive to Holy Spirit than anyone. Go to bring a serious question to her? Silent treatment. Block & delete. Why was I asleep for so long? For me at least, God has revealed that I had no pride. The type of pride that's a good thing, not the Grandiose type

I am a believer and after 29 years of marriage I finally filed for divorce, it was devastating. God was with my kids and I and walked me through it all. Proverbs 26:24-26 helped me understand what I was dealing with. Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you!!

Thank you it’s very hard and hard for kids. It’s always damage control. I’m researching and asking pastors if this a basics for divorce? But so far none can answer. Im praying for God to heal him. I can’t. I’m a mess myself because of this behavior.

Yes, Lord Jesus can heal this. Bring every thing into prayers. Love your enemy. I have heard some testimonies about healed broken abusive marriages. With God all things are possible. 🙏

@@angelabyrd7605 God has been with me as well. Praise God 🙏

You can leave and legally separate, you are not free to remarry until he is deceased. I left mine and the Holy Spirit told me how angry he was at my ex. He died at age 44 , less than 4 years later.

Forgive him from a distance since he refuses to repent from (stop) the harm he keeps doing to you. The LORD doesn't obligate you to subject yourself to an abuser. And your father is not entitled as a father to abuse his offspring. Rather, he's obligated before the LORD to obey Jesus' command to "Love your neighbor as yourself." That would be YOU. So, since your father continues to commit SINS against you (yes, identify what he's doing as SIN and, therefore, evil - not just the tamer idea of "wrongs"), you are free to tell him you no longer are willing to have anything to do with him. If he ever confesses his sins to God, repents and submits himself to those who would hold him accountable, you certainly could reconsider. But you're not his punching bag. You're a daughter of the King! John 3:36 makes clear that, "He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not BELIEVE (= OBEY) the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him." Don't be your Dad's enabler by putting up with what he's doing. The best you can do for him is to confront him with the truth, then go live it yourself away from him so he doesn't have you to use any longer.

@@susansheldon2707 Susan, your message is God sent. Last night I was crying to the Lord because I'm burdened with guilt. The commandment "Honor your father and mother" and Romans 12:18 keeps playing over in my head. I prayed to Jesus that it feels like I'm being pushed to contact my father and to try to mend our relationship. And I told Him I just can't do it yet and I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty. It feels like I'm disobeying the Lord. I just cried and called Jesus's name over and over after this verse popped into my head: "The Name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and is safe." Proverbs 18:10. Susan, your message is straight for the Lord. Thank you for deciding to reply to my comment. I have more peace now and know now that Jesus does not expect me to contact my father and try to mend the relationship. Only once my father has truly repented and turned to Christ, then I can try. Let God's will be done. May the Lord bless you and your family, Susan ❤

@@JMThings It's a privilege to share what the LORD has taught me over four decades of marriage to an abusive narcissist, the son of two religiously abusive narcissists. I'm certain that it was HIS prompting that led me to your comment and to the conviction (truly) that I was to answer you. Amazing grace, huh?!?! Jesus alone has been faithful through it all. That doesn't mean any of it has been easy to experience, though. Yet, He always assures me HE is with me and has a reason - I know not what, to be honest! - for allowing them to sin so hurtfully against me. It has been precisely through various struggles that Jesus has given me my grasp of God's ways and what of his Word applies to it all . . . especially that which we don't ordinarily hear in our churches or from male teachers. And now I'm finding I can share what He taught me with others on these threads. Yay! that He's giving me a purpose and the opportunity to assist others from what I've learned. You're on the right track in that you have sought Him all along instead of blaming God for the evil that people choose to do to us. We're to abide in Christ NOW and to the end. If we do, we'll meet one day and have a great gab fest!

@Susan Sheldon Yes, absolutely amazing grace! I'm sorry that you had to go through all that. My mother is still married to my father, I think 27years now. She keeps hoping he'll change. I've accepted that I can't make my mom leave him. She has to decide it for herself. Although I'm quite sure that day will never come. Thank you for sharing what you've learned from God through your experiences. And thank you for your words of encouragement. Lots of love ❤

Amen

There is a scripture that says my children will be taught by the lord . Pray that over them don’t give up mamma nothing is impossible with God

Amen .

Can't be close with people who don't care about you . God bless you .

Have agape (love your enemies, kindness without expectation) and understand you will never be close with them again because it is what it is you can't be close with someone who doesn't care about you , if they cared about you they would make it right with you but they don't so it is what it is . Have kindness for them wish them the best and never be close with them again unless they repent for their ways on their own terms after you've rebuked them . If you rebuked them and they haven't repented it is what it is don't be close with them because you can't be close with them. YHWH bless you dearly beloved .