How the Narcissist Exploits You with Their Generosity

Рет қаралды 17,805

3 жыл бұрын

How does a narcissist exploit you and how can you safeguard yourself from it? In this video series, I'm going to share with you six areas where a narcissist can exploit you and what you can do to protect yourself so you don't get exploited again.
Maybe you are interacting with a family member or a boss or a colleague who is narcissistic. The first way that exploitation happens is through love bombing. Love bombing can pay back handsome dividends because a narcissist can exploit you in many ways, which I will cover more in this video.
🗣 DISCLAIMER: This video represents my personal insights and does not replace the professional advice of a therapist, counselor, coach, etc., for your specific situation.
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WHO AM I?
Hi! I’m Shaneen Megji. It seems my whole life has prepared me to do the work I am so passionate about today. Let’s just say I had to swim in narcissistic waters for many years, in workplace scenarios, in my previous faith as a Muslim, in friendships, and even in the church. God truly doesn’t waste anything. Each and every experience and all the studies I have done help me in my passion to set people free from the bondage and oppression of narcissistic relationships, to help survivors of such pain regain their authentic selves and their hope in God’s good plans for them, and to re-educate the church around toxic leadership.
#healingfromnarcissisticabuse #biblicalperspectivenarcissism #toxicity #toxicperson #toxicrelationship #toxicsigns #navigatingtoxicrelationships #unhealthyrelationships #manipulation #healingtoxicity #churchhurts #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #biblicalperspectiveontoxicity #bibleandtoxicrelationship #bibleandtoxicity #ToxicRelationships #NarcissisticAbuse #AbusiveRelationships #HealingAfterAbuse #Empowerment #SpiritualHealing #BiblicalWisdom #SurvivingToxicity #HealthyRelationships #BreakingFree #EmotionalHealing #ToxicPeople #NarcissisticRecovery #BoundariesMatter #FindingStrength #EmotionalWellbeing #BreakingChains #narcissism #toxicity #toxicperson #toxicrelationship #toxicsigns #navigatingtoxicrelationships #unhealthyrelationships #manipulation #healingtoxicity #churchhurts #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #biblicalperspectiveontoxicity #bibleandtoxicrelationship #bibleandtoxicity

Пікірлер: 112

@macmac6817 2 жыл бұрын

The gift giving makes you feel like they love you so much. It makes you feel good to give back to this person because you finally found true love. Then 1 day they leave you for dead & cut you off. Thats when you realize they never loved you from day 1. This is when you get educated about life & realize being alone is really a great thing. Narcissist cannot be alone but empaths can.

@doonyfam8431 3 жыл бұрын

My ex husband did a lot of these things at the start of our relationship. But I was naive and knew nothing about narcicissm in those days. Its only by the grace of God that I am ok now. It could've been worse.

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing. God is so faithful to look after His children! ❤️

@daniellepearls6714 3 жыл бұрын

I to knew nothing about Narcissim. I married a Narcissist and his narcissistic family. It was hell on earth. I ended up with 4 broken ribs, being abused and they acted as if I should kiss their feet to be in their lives. They went to church confessed to be Christians it was so evil. So strange. God delivered me and I am healing. Its so sad these people exist but I forgive them and pray for them. Hopefully they will enter Heaven thats the bigger picture.✝️🙏🏻

@doonyfam8431 3 жыл бұрын

@@daniellepearls6714 wow so sorry to hear that. But glad you're out of there. Scary to think these people are christians

@daniellepearls6714 3 жыл бұрын

@@doonyfam8431 thankyou✝️🙏🏻

@Mea_Davis-Sotonade 2 жыл бұрын

Same thing.... I am going through a rough divorce from a narcissist. I wish I knew more about this before marrying him. I was a widow at a young age due to my husband passing from cancer. This was like a night and day marriage and it's been hell and toxic and exhausting. Mentally and emotionally I am worn out. Thank God for therapy and understanding what this is and now I am becoming more equipped to handle people with this type of personality.

@junegeary6584 3 жыл бұрын

Very helpful! I have shared custody of our 9 year old and it’s very confusing for me because he is such a great dad to her and he goes to church every Sunday and has her in all the sports and looks and acts perfect. He says this divorce is all my fault and I am to blame. It’s like facing a total wave every day. I need to accept the fact that he is happy and this small town believes that he is the victim. He used to be very angry with me and give me silent treatments. Now he’s very happy that I left. All our friends of 30 years listen to him. This is very hard. Thank You for your help. It helps me see the truth. It’s not my fault and I’m not to blame. I second guess myself a lot because he seems so perfect. Some days I even feel like God is mad at me. I am in survival mode while the church is inviting him over for meals and shinning me! I have to stay here because I want to be a part of my daughters life. He is making it very hard. I think it’s his way of revenge. Covertly

@bmoremom8458 Жыл бұрын

You lived and slept with this damaged person, the church community did not. Sooner or later the 🎭 mask slips and someone will realize it was all an act.

@KJBibleBelievingSaint 3 жыл бұрын

I encourage you to not only pray but to read and study the word. It keeps us balanced in truth, both negative and positive. Nice vid. Thank you.

@maribelru2011 Жыл бұрын

Literally the only thing that helps

@kathrinhofer3450 3 жыл бұрын

Hello Shaneen, I am a narcissist and I am grateful to see my condition and the affect it is having on my relationships in a spiritual and biblical context. I hope I can truly change 🙏.

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Kathrin, I appreciate you sharing. However, because you are sharing this, I doubt you are 100% narcissist. That said, with God, anything is possible. 🙌🏽 If you are willing to give him the driver's seat of your life, and let Him lead you, He is definitely able to empower you to become the person you are meant to be. 🌺🏋️‍♀️🙏🏽🤗

@kathrinhofer3450 3 жыл бұрын

@@ShaneenMegji thank you. I know you are right.

@demetriusroy6870 3 жыл бұрын

God bless you for your transparency and honesty.

@theresefournier3269 2 жыл бұрын

@@kathrinhofer3450 HalleluYAHsome!

@heyjude6335 Жыл бұрын

I moved to a new city and introduced myself in a neighborhood online group. This lady started dm-ing me and we met over coffee. From that date she would bring me food, buy me unwarranted gifts. She would go before me if we went shopping and tell clerk she was paying for my items. It was so strange and it made me super uncomfortable! She started buying my grandkids things as well. Now I know that it was her setting the snare for dominance in our friendship. She also talked non-stop. I’d been praying for God to show me whether this was a godly friendship or one I needed to cut out of my life. Well God works in mysterious ways. We had an argument and narc saw a very strong and adamant side of me that I had not exposed before. She thought I was very mild mannered until I wasn’t. We are know longer friends and the empath in me wished I would have handled it in a more godly manner. She said she is fearful of me now! I’m so thankful to be done with this weird relationship!

@anta3612 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for reminding us that God is in charge of time and that He can restore and redeem the lost years of our life. I've spent so many years having to recover and heal from trauma because of a relationship with a narcissist that there are times that I feel that my best years are now behind me. I'm not bothered any more about being in a relationship with a significant other but not out of fear but simply because I'm content (finally after years of anxiety and depression). If God wills it so be it and if not so be it. It's just that I think it's a shame when I reflect on all the time wasted. However, another way to look at the situation is that it's precisely through the pain and struggle that I've learned and grown so much and that is never a waste. It's also a treasure that will forever be mine and that no-one will ever be able to take away from me.

@ShaneenMegji 2 жыл бұрын

I love how you are framing the years of pain and struggle as a time of growth and gaining treasure. It is so true, and that will never be taken from you. God is so incredibly redemptive that He has a way of making you better off having gone through the pain than if you didn't go through it at all. God bless you. 🙏🏽💕🤗

@evonne315 Жыл бұрын

Generosity during Love Bombing kept me confused for YEARS. It was my proof he was a good person, like he said he was, but it was the hook to get me to give in return equally as generous.... then never stop. I did think I owed him my life it was insane. I looked after him like a mother and thought he was mentally ill (manic depressive), but in truth he was running on a different operating system. He must have thought I was the perfect supply.

@risenshine7032 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent as usual! I needed these videos desperately 30 years ago!!!! Could have avoided tremendous damage....

@bethhurst6231 2 жыл бұрын

This was one of the main wake-up signs that clued me in regarding the level of narcissism I was dealing with in a certain relationship.

@ShaneenMegji 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad this video helped to confirm that.

@SoundMediaProductions 2 жыл бұрын

Background checks are not out of the question! Time is definitely on your side when getting into a relationship. No matter how old we are! Thank you, again! I love your videos ❤️

@wandavanmourik1014 3 жыл бұрын

Dear Shaneen, I recently found you on KZfaq and I thank you for your amazing video's! Listening to this video I felt a part of me heal. Thank you so much! Big hug from the Netherlands! ❤

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

Aw...thank you! 🥰 I'm so glad to hear that! I've been praying that these videos would minister God's healing to peoples' hearts. Sending you also a big hug! 🤗

@theresefournier3269 2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes, all we needed, for the pain to dissapear, was to understand! I noticed and experienced that. We don't do, "inconsistencies", "confusion" & "fake"! so well! Shalom

@markcrossley1979 2 жыл бұрын

Shaneen is awesome.

@springrain9438 3 жыл бұрын

This is one of the best videos on this. I am so glad to have come across your channel bringing a biblical approach and validation to what we already know we have to do with ourselves and the boundarys we place.

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

I'm also so glad!

@EmilyW.isawakenotwoke 6 күн бұрын

Thank you. Great information. I really can't get enough of these help videos.. it helps me confirm that I'm not crazy and awful like my mother has made me feel and believe my whole life 🙏❤️🕊️

@MR.AIRWALK 2 жыл бұрын

I would love to meet a woman like you. Unfortunately we empaths are rare.. love your vids

@ShaneenMegji 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@marknack5427 2 жыл бұрын

Shaneen thank you and God bless you for your videos. God is using me to walk in faith to bring a narc to salvation, healing and deliverance. And He’s using you to coach me up!

@yugoslava6409 2 жыл бұрын

I just want to tell you: I love your videos. I love the way you narrate, I love your eloquence and your confidence. Although you touches on religion- and I am not personally attached to any religion, everything you say make such sense. Your teaching is the MUSIC to my ears and to my soul.

@silvia22d 10 ай бұрын

You are totally right! I know from my own experience which means that I made mistake after mistake. Thanks God I survived the Narcissist!

@ashleylarsen5294 11 ай бұрын

Never NEVER take from a narcissist!!! I’ve learned this the hard way..my father is a narcissist and whenever he does a “favor” there’s always strings attached and those strings usually come with him controlling or abusing me. Don’t be fooled..you don’t need their help!

@saladfingers. 8 ай бұрын

It's pretty much akin to making a deal with the devil.

@dorothybeck2924 2 жыл бұрын

Thankyou for your teachings and insight. You are right to say, 'hear what Jesus tells you'. I run into this in Christian leadership. I am astounded that good people suck up the lies. I pray for light be shed on the truth and lies exposed. I pray for discernment for myself and other leadership.

@markusbroyles1884 2 жыл бұрын

You have such a great breakdown on this topic ! I would like to hear the rundown on the passive aggressive ~ Just got divorced from a 22 year marriage where I was so clueless about the hidden dangers of toxic secrecy. Aloha !

@izawaniek2568 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for a great and very supportive message Shaneen. God bless you.

@ShaneenMegji 2 жыл бұрын

God bless you too! 🙏🏽💕

@sandrafagan8693 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for sharing these videos I have found they so helpful in understanding this more !

@yvettecunningham5496 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. Great words of wisdom.👍

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Yvette!

@NJ-wp1ic 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much , you have a beautiful soul . Your enabling me to get more strength so that I remain strong for my son and I. I've walked through the fire and I believe narsissm gives birth to angels

@theresefournier3269 2 жыл бұрын

I've often been mistaken for one! myself! Then again, come to think of it, many other things i never was as well... 🤔

@daniellepearls6714 3 жыл бұрын

Your so good. Thankyou✝️🙏🏻

@MrHappyNappy 2 жыл бұрын

(Proverbs 23:6-8) Do not eat the food of a begrudging host, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of person who is always thinking about the cost. “Eat and drink,” he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments. (Proverbs 23:12) Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge. (Proverbs 23:15-19) My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad indeed;my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right. Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off. Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way. (Romans 13: 7-8) Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. (P.S. Great video, btw! 😎👍)

@gonegirl9114 15 күн бұрын

I had one conversation with a new coworker at shift change. He worked day and I work swing. We chatted a bit nothing remotely flirtatious. He leaves and I get to work. Suddenly he’s back with lunch for me. I never asked him to buy me anything. I hesitated taking it but did because I didn’t want to cause a scene. I look in the bag and the receipt is on top with his phone number on it🙄. I don’t call him because I never asked for his number. Next day our supervisor sends a group text with next weeks schedule. This man got my number from that text and started texting me. I was so annoyed. I feel like he thought I owed him my attention because he bought me lunch. I didn’t respond and when I got to work I confronted him. He acted like I had the problem. I told him I don’t mix business with pleasure and he needs to respect my boundaries. Now he avoids me. He’s lucky I didn’t report him.

@anamaria8 Жыл бұрын

I apologise on behalf of all toxic people who traumatised off guard persons all over this by Earth adoperating Faith in Holly God as theirs means of domination. I am so so sorry

@moreloveforever8031 2 жыл бұрын

I really really really love your channel thank you May God bless you 🙌🏿🙏🏿🔥

@colleennielsen2794 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

@ShaneenMegji 2 жыл бұрын

You're so welcome 😊

@jerurenteria325 Ай бұрын

Couldn’t have said it better!!!

@mathiasmikis 2 жыл бұрын

This was an amazing video and from Godly perspective . Please continue to help people with your God given insight . I just went through everything you described .

@maryri 3 жыл бұрын

Please do videos on other types of relationships than romantic and marriage. Some of us also deal with narcissistic ex's who influence both minor and adult children and toxic family members such as siblings mother father and friends thank you.

@janm9610 9 ай бұрын

Yep, my now ex husband narc had no respect for my boundaries. I tried and tried to push the brakes, he pushed the gas harder and harder. 3 years later, including only 7 months of marriage, he blew up every area of my life. He tried yo destroy my relationships w my children ( 2nd marriage) I ignored the little annoyances.

@womanatthewell9603 2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely. They love bomb and expect lots of sex. Sex in awkward positions, sex in risky situations, sex with lots of talking about others during the act. It’s awful.

@ZFern9390 6 ай бұрын

Or withholding intimacy as punishment

@johndenver5015 2 жыл бұрын

I like this video. It made me realize a few things. First thing that came to mind is excepting people for who they are.and second thing is honoring people's boundaries. I know your channel is about narcissist and by listening to some of your videos I believe you are able to teach on much more. If you don't mind I would like to ask you if you would do it video on excepting people for who they are. I'm a married man of 14 years. Also how to set good and realistic boundaries. I believe I can get her to watch it with me.maybe I can get her to open up. She is extremely introverted

@beestingerz9738 3 жыл бұрын

Great information Shaneen, keep up the good work. Can you say more on Biblical characters ?

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Bee! Yes I have taken note 📝.

@SharonHoldrenneeTastet 2 жыл бұрын

FOMO! What a gem...yup that's my story! (Fear of missing out)

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed this video! If you are interested, here are the links to the other videos in this series: Part 2 : How a narcissist exploits your wounds: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ncd7g916r8nWqYU.html. Part 3: How a narcissist exploits your strengths: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/aZl6f8ip36ulZas.html Enjoy! 😊

@daniellepearls6714 3 жыл бұрын

Do always enjoy your videos. You are super kind and so spot on. I just love how biblically correct you are it helps me as I am a strong Christian and my narcissistic husband called himself Christian even though he broke my ribs, left me for dead.

@johndenver5015 2 жыл бұрын

Hi I just watched this video again for the second time and I realized that I may be in something toxic in my employment. I heard stories about my Boss and how people really mistreated him. He is Way over the top on giving. I noticed that it seems like he is working out of fear and is afraid of losing me. I noticed that when we talk in person that he keeps his distance and dances from side to side in a very nervous kind of way. I drive One of his trucks and the person in the truck before me trashed the truck. I was told this by a friend of mine that works as a driver with this company. We seldom talk on the phone. He prefers texting. He and others say I am really helpful to him. Also the truck went down for a couple of years And needed repairs. And he went in to a huge debt and got it fixed. Others say that I am constantly helping him come out of the debt. I was on the road this past weekend and I got a motel. There's GPS tracker on the truck and he called me want to pay the bill for the motel. What is your take on this. Or what does it seem like to you?

@netrap9937 3 жыл бұрын

Yesss I had that happen giving from my ex narc wit all types of strings attached smh

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry you went through that!

@netrap9937 3 жыл бұрын

@@ShaneenMegji thank u hun

@salauerman7082 2 жыл бұрын

Without love really says it all…

@dianepolk9878 3 жыл бұрын

Amen!!!

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

Bless you Diane!

@joellakoslowski5397 Жыл бұрын

🙏🏼

@anneofhearts Жыл бұрын

According to them if you are messed up due to their exploitation, that is ...Also..."due to the fact that God must have willed it..."

@jasonstone8222 Жыл бұрын

I love everyone but doesn't mean I like them or wanna be close to them. and some I don't even wanna speak with.

@maryri 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you would you please consider a video on (Co Dependency) I believe this is a big issue with many like myself?

@ShaneenMegji 3 жыл бұрын

I totally agree with you. It’s on my list. 🤗

@silvia22d 10 ай бұрын

I was very happy when my ex boyfriend gave an expensive cell phone as soon as he met me telling me that I was the most special woman he has ever met. Not surprisingly, the next meeting he wanted "to mate" with me . (His own words) .He proved to be a total narcissist, impossible to deal with.

@leecooper1459 2 жыл бұрын

Shaneen, how do y tell the difference between someone's individual charactereristics, quirks, weaknesses, frailties and true narcissuses and acting of their own wounds or just life experiences they r adapting to or not? also I am not seeing weekly updates...

@melisentiapheiffer3034 9 ай бұрын

They are selfish people. They are not generous people!

@rosettesionne9139 3 ай бұрын

They can behave generously when they want something from their victims in order to make them indebted.

@sonalijootun1712 Жыл бұрын

How to escape this?

@salauerman7082 2 жыл бұрын

…does the person have self control?

@jasonroman3639 2 жыл бұрын

My wife tells me you owe me your life all the time.

@user-kh1vo2fc6s 2 жыл бұрын

8:00 I’m trying to apply Luke 6:31-36 to it - doesn’t seem to apply

@markcrossley1979 2 жыл бұрын

Sir. Ask God to help you.

@risenshine7032 2 жыл бұрын

Jesus is saying we must practice a higher level of loving others, A sacrificial giving of ourselves. But with a narcissist this means forgiving and praying for them, Because they will have you on the sacrificial altar daily for them… And this is what makes them narcissistic. This is not what Jesus is speaking about. It also doesn’t mean we are to continue placing ourselves in an abusive situation. Variables certainly apply For example if you’re married to one. Watch many videos to learn and seek discernment from God on what to do

@shirleyrollin7596 Ай бұрын

💯💪🙏🛐😇❤🌞🕊

@sheilamurry9875 Жыл бұрын

Trust God

@therealsongstress 2 жыл бұрын

More narcissist on dating sites 🙄🙄🙄

@edna_m 2 жыл бұрын

☹️👣✨

@pierre931 3 ай бұрын

some peoples are their self generous and this dont mean that are narcisists.dont see the bad anywhere.im sorry but i have stay seven years with a woman and she was like a little kid.i have do my best for help she with moneys, attemptions and responsabilizing she....lastly i have cut with she cos she refused to go to job and i have can do nothing for convince she.i have present too she to saint giov anni bosco that helped the young peoples but she refused same to job....im telling this only to you cos for let understand that we are not all narcisists.is not the first time that i help peoples and i pretend nothing. i require only what they can give, require to god if in leing.i have not present counts to she.im very angry with god cos let the peoples act badly.i see more and more selfish and opportunists and he do nothing.for this im cutting with he