This is probably the most genuine advice and analysis I have ever heard and can relate 100%. We think we are what others tell us that we are. And we only gain true understanding of ourselves and the ability to teach our true potential when we realize that only our ideas and perceptions about ourselves are what really counts.

What really worked for me was to work as waiter in a almost fancy but not actually fancy restaurant. You can get to practise talking, how to be professional, how to be casual, trying to be funny, how to flirt, how to resolve issues multiple times a shift if you want to. You can use every table as a practise field with a slightly different tone or personallity until you don't feel awkward anymore and can settle with a version that you like.

He's right about the new environment thing Growing up in my hometown, everyone had this preconceived notion of me being a quiet and nerdy guy. I left home at 21 and moved down south. I was able to come out of my shell and be the more extroverted side of me. I always knew I had a more extroverted side. It's just that when I tried to express it, people would just shut it down. After I moved, people I met for the first time all had this idea of me being a funny, no filter, fun type of guy. Yeah, I still had my introverted moments, but I could tell people genuinely liked being around me in my new environment.

This is legit. Went to college away and was treated SO different, i never realized just how stuck I was in a nerdy/loser role in school. I always thought I was just a loser but it was just that everybody else wanted be to be and expected me to be that way. Wild man

I just finished my first improv class. I literally cannot recommend it enough.

This is so damn true... tried and tested. I was an introvert (not shy) in high school but in university I purposely reached out and talked to people instead of just waiting for people to come talk to me. It also helped that I started to use my second name in uni so at first it felt like I'm playing a character until it started to intergrade to my overall persona.

Improv sounds absolutely terrifying as a very strong introvert.

Actually this is true; I was in this school for nearly 6 years and was mostly seen as a guy you’d want to avoid and it was depressing but once I reached a new school I felt new and everything changed, I became a funny guy with so many ppl as my friends and the teachers respected me as a student.

For me, it was the realization, that, not everyone knows everything, they can be wrong so stop taking everyone so literally and just focus on basics(saying thank you, sorry or greetings). And it is ok to fail continuously because there's no winning in life, its just life. 😁 So fail faster and fail harder, earn those experiences. Two things i would suggest for confidence is - exercise & meditate.

Absolutely, I agree, in a school if you stay long enough people will start building preconceived ideas about you and that's the "mold" he's talking about and most of the time you can't really get out of that mold because of the pressure pushing you back inside. I relate to this a whole lot since I was a victim of this also, and his recommendation? I might wanna try it out now lol

I actually changed countries as an adult. Honestly, it feels amazing knowing you can walk the streets without anyone knowing you.

Thank you for honoring your dad in that story. That was powerful.

I like the fact that you didn't put any bullshit into the advice like "be comfortable in who you are" or "just don't care what other people think" and actually gave some genuine, helpful advice that we needed. Thank you.

This blows my mind Vinh. I mold was the nerd kid in school, thick glasses, high pants, always holding a book, no friends. But when I went to US, I told myself, no one knows me here, I can be someone different. I became one of the most popular kid at school =) Though deep inside, I'm still the introvert, nerdy, geeky kid. I gained lots of new self confidence, and friends!

I actually did this. Transferred to 3 different schools in a span of 4 years. I'm now a better human being capable of interacting with others. Before, I always look down and becomes anxious around people. You make life changing advices. I subscribed! Thank you for making me remember this experience

I confirm. I had an improv lesson in my early 20s and it was amazing 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Yes, 💯 agree. And traveling. Being able to be your true self in other places you've never been before, even if it's just two towns or cities away from yours, can give you confidence in ways other experiences cannot.

I’ve always found environment to be less important, but that may just be because I don’t care what a bunch of other people think of me unless it has truth to it, and because of that focus on truth I can simply, but perhaps not easily, change it by effort if I choose to. I wouldn’t care at all if someone “put me back in my mold” because if I disagree with their statement or attempt and I find it untrue I won’t be affected by it. Never fallen to peer pressure, I sincerely don’t know what it’s like to feel the need to fit in except by the accounts of others, I’ve never been put in a place by others and accepted, ie as either already in that place so they were right or I wasn’t so they were wrong. Their opinions didn’t matter, only whether or not what they said was true did.

Totally right about the environment thing. I was in a school where everyone knew me since elementary school and most of them didn't like me, so I only had like 2 friends there. After moving, I had no shell or mold holding me back, and I made so many genuinely good friends in just a year.

We all create an atmosphere or culture with each of our relationships, which can be difficult to shift and change. As he said, preconceived notions can drastically affect your reality.

I actually had the same experience, once I got to a new school everything became just a bit easier and by the next one i completely got a hang of it, sometimes all you need is a fresh start

That is so true about “mold” everyone have for you. Even family. I wanna change and I know I have potential to be so much better, but when I’m around my family and relatives I behave the way I behaved around them. It’s hard to be the new version of yourself because you know they won’t accept you or understand you.

That was a breath of fresh air! We usually just told "Just bee yourself lol" if our social life was marked for doom, but this? Plain and brutal "Move out and start anew" , I've seen this actually works on my highschool friends too, I'd definetly recommend this if the situation arises. ❤

I like this advice and I think it's working for me. I was an average student in high school, but due to some problems, I decided to stop going to college for a while. When I came back to university I have a new environment and new people around me and that help me to improve myself because people around me have no idea who I am, I can work on improving myself without the fear of judgment. Although embarrassing moments are still there, I feel a little pressure from those moments.

I am 54 now and won every fight against other people who wanted to put me in a mold. Even my parents. I can do and be whatever i wanted to be or do. I am free of that, finally❤

OMG i've been doing improv classes and shows for the last 5 years, he's right, never had so much fun as an adult, i love it, you get to try different characters and just complete nonsense, stop feeling so scared or self conscious, i use it as a kind of therapy/meditation, how to be just totally in the moment and also noticing how i habitually behave and trying out the opposite, suggest everyone who wants to build confidence in a fun and safe space give it a go x

Bro this is so true our society wants us to do good not better than them face the reality don't care what others think improve yourself constantly and become the best version of your selves I support you all guys keep improving if no one believes in you I belive in you just remember that this is atif a 16 year old boy

I think once the realization that people are trying to keep you in a mold and shift happens on the inside and if you genuinely stay consistent with who your trying to become, by keep moving forward ,you can break yourself out of the mold in almost any environment. Once people see the change day in and day out they will eventually accept it. Sure when your first starting out on this journey of self improvement and growth , there will be negative voices both in your mind and from those around you trying to keep you in your comfort zone and mold ,but if you keep pushing and break into that next level, everything around you will slowly fall in line. Don't let them get to you, use the haters as fuel to keep improving. Changing environments is a choice you always have but it's not necessary. It may be a harder path but you will build resilience along with it, not just change in character.

the thing with me is, i always failed at breaking out of that mold. i changed environment many times, met new people, got new opportunities to better myself and create the version of myself that i always wanted, but in the end, i still failed. those new people still see me inside that mold i was in on the previous environment. im 23 now and kept thinking "is this really just how i am?" but i dont like how i am right now, i despise myself and deep down i knew i can change someday. hope i can take those improv classes after i graduate and actually break out of this long existing mold im in

It's a really strange feeling, when you run into one of your old acquaintances from your school and you feel this need to get back to your old mold

This is so helpful! I did this a lot whenever I was working in retail, striking convos with random people and sharing different aspects of myself, sometimes it was met with welcome, sometimes absence but it was great; it helped me deal better with the reality that not everyone is going to take a liking to you and that's completely okay. I moved on and did cover supply in schools, where no two days r the same, similar in retail, but you have a tough transparent and innocent audience to deal with: kids. If they like you they do and they don't they don't and will show it either way. Cover supply is fun because it's a tough task trying to improv how I'm going to manage the class, and "pretend" like I know what I'm doing or the lesson plan that's assigned (sometimes I do which is a bonus) ; but a lot of the time towards the end, when I started getting more comfortable with talking to a random class of 20 plus kids, from all the year groups, it became less about me trying to force a personality through that I deemed acceptable, and really me just being myself, and sharing my adult person and the education and knowledge and life lessons that come with it, with a bunch of kids who are still very impressionable; sometimes it got scripted but after a while it was fun realising I could just relax get to know about the students armbd what their goals were in life etc. I really recommend it. Gave me a different kind of confidence because although kids with kids can be nasty (sometimes), I realised as I grew up that it's far less intentional and learned from adults, rather when adults are nasty, that's just become their personality and adults cna really suck; it was refreshing knowing that when a bunch of adults still try to socket people into different definitions, it took me going back to school as an adult, to feel the non judgemental liberation that came with showing kids - and hopefully inspiring them - that u can make it, and nothings that tough or a big deal, just let loose and have fun. I've been thinking of going to improv classes so thank you so much for sharing this!

Can confirm the take on improv classes. I was randomly assigned to a project of my school since we had a few days where everybody took Part in a project that they could vote for, but I missed the main voting, and it was improv theatre. I am kinda introverted, not that bad, but I do have my troubles getting into conversations with people that I don't know at all. So I wasn't thrilled at all when I got assigned to improv with none of my friends being there with me. But that course really made me break out of my shell that I was in and I was much more extroverted than I normally would be and I could get along perfectly with numerous people I barely knew or didn't know at all. It was awesome and I ended up not regretting a second of it, so I can totally recommend it. Even though it might seem as a hard decision as an introvert, it really is very worth it!

coming from a toxic household it was realizing that I had the power to get myself out of that situation, and that just cuz I was treated terribly and told I cant do certain things doesn't mean anything. cuz its not their life its mine. I'm the only one that could help and validate myself and strive for those goals and new connections. people can have their opinions but in the end you know yourself best and what it is you want. Also having a good support system that helps you grow as a person with similar ideals and morals as you do.

One thing I would add, if you are able to. Start working as a contractor. You are somewhat forced to change jobs/environments and thus no one knows which ‘shell” you belong in.

I couldn’t agree more. Even people close to you would want you to stay in your mold. Some people wouldn’t want to see you grow.

Weird, a video on confidence that actually works. This is very rare.

That's actually practically very true .... In a new environment, no one knows or cares who the fock are you.... No one knows your Voice , your habits , Your body language, nothing. That's a Best place to practice and make try & make friends. For me personally I'm very reserved and shy. But I like to know people, but idk how to start conversation and make friends.

Second that. Being a personal trainer is challenging when it comes to prospecting/drumming up leads. A veteran trainer suggested taking improv. I made a passing comment to a client, and he actually got me a gift card to a class. There was this sense of freedom I got from the class that I haven’t experienced since. It was uncomfortable at times. But some of the most fun I’ve had in a long time. It’s because I went so far from my comfort zone that everything else seemed like a playground. Go to improv. No matter what city you’re in. Just go.

Dude this happened to me too, now I'm convinced you're genuine and not some sort of scammer

God bless you, sir! Finally - Asians who are teaching us, from their authentic selves, how to live better lives.

This brought tears to my eyes. I have been suffering alot in my current school and this brings hope that one day i can become who i asprire to be. Thankyou for your genuine advice. Idk who you are but you made my day, Sir.

This is what I did aswell, everyone knew me as the quiet kid and I once popped a joke no one heard and then the funny guy in class said the exact same thing and every body laughed. After a few years I changed schools and I told myself I'd be different from then, Now people actually see me standing in class and I see others who are in the position I was back then. I really love the new me I created but it still gets a little bit akward when I come across someone from my previous school because they still know the different me. Altough that wont stop me from being me anymore.

Wow an actual practical advice you can actually implement... And not some mumbo jumbo psychedelic mind programming bs.... Great advice 💯💯💯

hands down one of the best pieces of advice I've heard. this is literally me in college.... way back in high school i couldn't really change myself because people around had this "preconceived" idea about me, and no matter how i try to be better, they would just look past it and see my "past". On the other hand, when i started going to college, i promised to myself not to repeat this same history again and it's working pretty fine so far. I'm still working on it but i made a resolution to myself to be the best person i can and not look back to that awful past again.

Funnily enough even just a little thing such as moving over to Threads (eg from Twitter) and starting fresh gave me a micro version of this. Starting from scratch with no followers is incredibly freeing.

This is me every time I go to a new environment. I always think “ok time to be myself!” And then I end up just faking a smile and kind personality for everybody and I’m never myself

I can totally resonate with what he shared. I was considered a reckless, spoiled, grumpy kid back in middle school and high school, but things changed drastically when I got into university as I had to move to a new city. I started to build up a new name for myself, infused with dignity, integrity, care, and responsibility. Ever since, I’ve always been respected by others to the point where they get flabbergasted if I describe who I was many years back.

I just turned 31 this year and for the very first time I’m finally grasping the notion of who *I* am, not who I think others think I am. I’m making decisions based on what I want my values to be, not what I think fits others ideas of good values.

I guess that's why University is SUCH a gamechanger for all of us young adults after graduation. Because it is a COMPLETELY clean slate. No one knows you, and you get to experiment new versions of yourself that you couldn't practice with In high school because everyone knows you as 1 personality, and ONLY that personality.

It seemed like he was gonna head into some generic non-actionable advise with that story but then it was so clear and precise

OH MY GOD my mother kept advising me to change schools after 10th grade so that you could get a new kind of environment and said EXACTLY THIS that everyone should not have preconceived ideas about me since I was studying in my school since the beginning! But I refused since I thought I had a lot of achievements and I had worked my ass off in my school so the teachers would definitely elect me as the head boy in 12th grade. But nope that didn't happen and that's why now I'm extremely shy, nervous, timid, self hating and a loser

I came to this exact conclusion by myself before watching the video, and watching this speaker summarise all my thoughts of the past couple of months in this video is brilliant. I am popular at my school and I have a lot of friends, but there are almost too many preconceptions about me that are too late to break : I am the typical funny guy but the byproduct of that is people not taking me seriously at all I’m just constantly the joker and I hate that. I think a new school is just what I need, I’ll see my current friends from time to time when I want some fun, but I’ll meet new and ambitious ones at a new school.

I actually lived this. I was the loud kid no one took serious and everyone looked down on. After high school I moved to 4 different states by myself, met so many interesting people and built myself up to be someone I needed to be, and once I moved back for school, everyone who had me “figured out” was so hell bent on putting me back in that mold. Chained back up to the idea they had of me, and I’ve felt so good just being able to prove all these people wrong (most of these fuckers still live here lol) It’s very real. A different environment, by yourself, is what’s going to save you. After that, it’s all personal work.

Idk but i find this mans speach so relatable as if my inner voice or thoughts was being exposed!

Dear Vinh, there are way too many of us who can relate to this sooooo much. And this is so so true. A new beginning really is a blessing. And that is what we all have to fully realize, for example, a very relatable sentence from here: “The moment I tried to break out of my mold, these people tried to put me back into my mold…” but having someone that clearly understands that and taking you OUT of that miserable state truly is a savior. Watching this also is freeing in a way, as we feel heavily understood.

This is great advice! My version of this was travelling solo around Europe for 4 months and staying in hostels. You get new environments and new people constantly and can be whoever you want to be.

So true about the 'mold' that people fit us into. I feel that this can also be the case with people close to you. If you show behaviour that is not the 'usual' for you, they notice, and they find it strange. Whenever I do things that are 'unusual' for me, parents and siblings give me weird attention for it.

I love your videos! This really hit home for me! I have worked in my parents family business for 15+ years and for the last 5 years I have wanted change who I was and explore myself. I was unhappy in my job, my relationships at work (with some great people) were not healthy, and finally quit because I knew if I wanted to break out of the mold of who I was and work towards being someone who I wanted to be I had to quit. Thanks for sharing!

Great video, really enjoying Vinh's videos. He deserves more subscribers! it's tough when your family already have this 'mold' of you and trying to change their minds about you without improv classes.

I started improv half a year ago because of this very video! Such good advice, the confidence it gave me to just be in front of a crowd is insane!

This is the real advice. I did it too.. it works like charm. If you're in life facing the same situation just change the place u live, like House, hotel or city or states if u can afford just change the country.

Heard many fancy speeches all over, but this one was fascinating & damn hard relatable.

Yes absolutely, improv classes are FANTASTIC for building confidence! I still see myself as socially awkward at times but it's not a 24/7 thing like it used to be, and I can now act confidently even when I'm very anxious. I also like who I am a lot of the time now. I never ever showed my true personality to anyone except for my family. I was in lots of plays and musicals in school which did really help, but nothing did more for me than Improv. It was terrifying for a while but I really committed to it. One of the most basic rules in my Improv class was "Leave your ego at the door." Way easier said than done, but that's really what makes a great show. Being flat-out encouraged to set aside my "mold" was so freeing. Something that helped me to really commit to the character was my fear of looking like an idiot haha. Seems a bit counterintuitive, but it makes sense if you think about it. In every other part of my life, "not looking like an idiot" was easily achieved by quietly blending into the background. If you never show your personality to people, they can't judge you for it. BUT in Improv class, standing there quietly DOES make you look dumb because you're expected to be a weird, hyperactive lunatic. You're praised for energy, confidence, and personality. And even if you do say something stupid or cringey, it's fine because it literally happens to everyone in Improv from time to time. In conclusion, 10/10 would recommend Improv

His speaking style is so captivating with all the gestures and perfect pauses 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

The Challenging way is to devour them all in their field Like being more funnier or athletics than them Just make much louder noise so in their mind they has to reconstruct reality because of you (showing that you are there)

This is the exact type of thing I thought to become a new ,better person and yes am on the way to that.

A new environment is true. This is exactly why I want to study abroad for my Master and Doctorate degree (in the near future) not only for this but also for my mental health.

You're gonna change lot of lives man! Thank you for your valuable advice

Note the continuos use of Jennifers name to make it feel like a personal answer to her question while also projecting the story to the entire audience

This is a great video for personality development! I'm trying the exact thing without much success and this video just encouraged me to not give up and move out of my comfort zone. Thank you so much!

I did Improve classes before and it really works; that's the best advice.

This was GOLD i needed this and it was definitely confirmation to start a new life else where!

I totally agree with this... Changing to a new school really changed me as a person. For the better.. Now. I didn't reach the version of myself cuz at the time I wasn't into self developing and trying to make myself better. I was still the fat introvert who sat with her novel in recess cuz I was too shy to go out and try to make friends. But I wasn't labelled as the kid who got into fights (w bullies[But no one sees that, do they??🤕]). I was now the quiet kid who minded her own business but still better than being hated as I was before. I felt more myself in less than a month, than I did in my previous school in 7 years. So yes. This does work.

Omg that is just amazing advice. Lovely story as well. I'm so grateful for this brilliant human being

That part about moving school speaks so true to me because it’s what I did, no one knew who I was so I tried to be someone new and it worked. He’s speaking 100% facts

I did my schooling in 3 different schools.every time I went to new school I used to be very careful about how what are things that gave an impression on my character in the old school and I decided not to repeat those and adapted to the class/school's environment.Shredding the old moulds weakness and reshaping into a new mould. I personally know how it feels like, When we want to really change but how people around us put back us into the same mould.

You’re smart with your examples Vinh. Everyone can relate, included me. I was fat back then at junior grades school. When I moved to a new senior grade school that a bit far away from my neighborhood. I was running and swimming the whole summer just to fix my weight with the hope of being a completely new me and impress the girls. It worked eventually. After that I realized things limit me is 99% myself.

This is probably why most of us "change" when we move to a new school/college, city or country. Esp. when we move away from our hometown and the people we grew up with. My biggest change was when I joined highschool, and when I moved away from my hometown for college. The second time was especailly drastic. So much that for the first year back home, all I heard from people was how much I changed. If you're observant, you can in real time see how people readjust the way they speak to you and treat you in general. It's pretty wild! I genuinely believe it's absolutely important to go outside your familiar enviroment atleast every few months. Getting into a new social circle, hobby, travelling etc. If nothing else, just joining a new social media group or discovering new music can sometimes be pretty eye opening too. The best though, is to travel to a completely new place and culture, and ALONE at that. Scary but almost always life altering.

Exactly! Just run away from your problems and reinvent yourself based on the fictional characteristics you think you need

Vinh, I just discovered your videos in the last week. They are all funny, interesting, engaging, and I learn something new in every video I watch. Many thanks, stay well.

I found you on reels and you are so good I literally loved how you break down problems 😮

That is one of the best advices I’ve hear from this guy

This man is so genuine. I cried with his 30 min ted talk thingy when he told about his dad. 😢

Wow. This is the best advice I've honestly ever heard.

before I clicked I thought it was gonna be self-helpish advice, but it turns out to be quite useful and genuine advice, good job!

This is so true. I was a textbook introvert who didn't know how to talk to anyone. Later I had an opportunity to do a six-weeks intensive summer course in another country. No one there had any preconceived notions of me and I was able to break out of my shell and talk to people for the first time. After that I went back to school but this time becoming a visibly different person, finally being able to talk to people who haven't talked to me for years

Moving worked very well for me. And it was my Dad who did it as well. My life completely changed from that. I went from becoming no one to one of the most academic student, who now actually enjoys learning anything(not just school related subjects). Glad this happened and would recommend it to anybody else who is having these issues in their community.

He is right, people in my high school used to think I'm trash although I was good at study. That's why when I passed Highschool, i choose a completey new collage where no one used to know me, i became an introvert ( practicing) , and now after 2 years, Everyone including my old friends don't make fun of me, they respect me.

I've always been relatively extroverted but improv class was still an amazing experience and so fun!

What makes this most genuine and relatable is he calling her name - Jennifer. It hits different

Bless you Vinh for all these advises

I almost cried... For myself. Great men comes from difficulty

This is very true! What helped me break out of my own shell was Dungeons and Dragons, which is the nerd's improv class. It allows you to explore different aspects of your being without judgement, and helps you figure out what is and is not "You". I urge anyone and everyone to try it, as you may be surprised at how much you can grow from it

this is something I always had a theory in my mind that it's true, and I lived my life by it! so glad I was right!! ❤

Fantastic story teller, great lesson really loved this short clip

I saw someone on SNS said that if you want to be successful and evolved get out of the place you've been born in and or living in... which is true as I see... Thank you for sharing this with us

I did an outbound course, basically breaking the ice course for 2 days and I realised that me being serious and honest all the time is really funny for others and that's how I broke out of my shell

So relatable, I was trapped in this kind of environment between my highschool friends but for me it was the opposite. They used to look at me as the funny, lighthearted girl who jokes around and doesn't take things seriously, just because I used that to compensate with my awkwardness with other people. I used to feel so suffocated because yes, I have moments in which I wanna have fun, but I'm mostly a calm and reserved person who doesn't like to be around people 24/7. As soon as I went to University, I could make my upbeat self rest and while I was allowed to have genuine fun, I could finally stay with someone without having to be the mood maker. It's good to just chill around people.

This man just gave all that life changing advice on the spot for that one question

I love how he kept saying the lady's name so as to have her full attention. That is a genius idea 👍