People are what they were taught - many of these behaviours can be changed - and speaking up is a part of the process. If we don’t, then the behaviors go on

Too many lazy useless ppl that go to "work" to just do nothing but talk/gossip with co workers and brownnose to bosses, Then the actual good useful strong workers get backlash.. same crap everywhere.

@@nyacoustics8373 thank you!! Someone finally said it!!! They’re too busy gossiping and they make it so obvious too

It is often what I see as well - is that the ones who have been there the longest are the toxic employees ... and those who have just been hired - there is the onboarding process where toxic employees will bring new staff into the fold, so it is really those who made it past onboarding unscathed that are sometimes in the best position to make a change. Of course I do love a new employee with a voice!

You get it

Management may or may not try their best (generally) but the overarching systems enable gossipy, narcissistic people. That’s why it’s down to folk like us to de-nable these stupid idiots.

True story

Yep. It’s hard for some of the new ones to ignore it because they want to be part of the group, but if you stay away from it or at least the majority of it then you will be trusted and probably promoted. I have worked at different levels and I noticed the entry level jobs such as admin support roles tend to be the worst areas.

🎉🎉

If there are things you don’t want known, then I agree. You no longer control the information once it is told - Great tip on social media. I would also add don’t put anything on social media that you would not want seen

@Tammy Dunnett, Communication Skills for Work definitely I wouldn't add them on any socials

Good choice. Sometimes staying away from the gossip is a good idea. Have you downloaded the safe conversation starters? There is a great script in there to stop gossip

Me neither, they talk about they’re life , so detailed who did drugs, I’m like seriously 😳 do people really need to talk about these kinds of issues. They get loud and overreact for everything. I’ve been there for a month I started to look for another job. So toxic. They want to know drama. I told my coworkers 1 day I don’t like drama , me my husband and kids are boring so they don’t ask me about anything.

Everyone at my job knows everything about everyone. Who does what for how many cookies?? It's really annoying!! I'm so tired of hearing about their personal relationships with their live-in boyfriends & their step kids & the boyfriends ex-wives. It's like damn! I literally know their sex lives,their kids up & downs,I know way more things about these people than I honestly care to know. I know they talk about me & frankly I don't give a damn but I'm tired of hearing about it. Any suggestions to stop hearing about it??

I am sorry to hear you are going through this ... I hope you have been able to put in some boundaries that make you feel better

I’m so sorry, hun. I know EXACTLY how you feel. 😢

@@Jellibean83 oh dear - if you know it that means you are either going through it or have experienced it

Witnessed it yesterday and one of them called me a dumb bitch behind my back years ago, so I don't talk to him, I know what he's about, always watches me

It is true that high performers are targeted

You’re welcome

A world of “should” does nothing to address the reality

Yes sometimes leaving is the right decision- what are you doing to heal and empower yourself in future situations?

@@tammydunnettleadership maybe looking into Starting a business I'm looking at that I've always wanted to go that route

@@tammydunnettleadership I'm still trying to figure that out

This may sound counterintuitive- because when we are in a toxic environment we focus on protecting ourselves- now is the time to look i ward and explore what you do / dont do that may have contributed to the situation

That is a great script to add to our toolbelt

@@tammydunnettleadership Thank you. Your content helps us navigate the minefield in some places.

What do you do when it happens?

@@tammydunnettleadership speaking for myself I act as if I don't hear anything. My rule is if they didn't say it to me or mention my name, than it is not about me.I wear my wireless earbuds whether that is on or not, read or get engrossed in my work.

Thanks! Which one do you find yourself in - the receiver of gossip or the one who is gossiped about?

Sounds like Canadian accent it’s cool about always sounds like aBOAT

What has been your biggest takeaway?

Thanks for taking the time to write! I appreciate the feedback

Thanks for adding to the conversation. The strategy you use is also a great tool to have in the communication toolbelt. A reaction is different than a conversion. You may feel upset and communicating that is sharing the impact. :)

Not if the goal is to upset you. I I was your bully and you told me how it made you feel, I’d think “Good. Mission accomplished.”

@@wintermatherne2524 that's what I'm saying

You have a strategy that will keep you out of the gossip ring. Walking away is an option - if the behaviour is not stopping, what is your next move?

Thanks for the comment. As an HR professional I imagine you have a lot of teaching moments!

You are welcome!

It may be a few things to try. Confrontation is not usually a place people feel safe to talk - let alone confess. There are several strategies I share in my FB group (leadership communication) and even more support inside my Conquer Conflict program that may support you

Setting boundaries is a great strategy

Gossip is gossip - the strategies can work in either workplace. If the behaviour does not stop, it then becomes about your next step

They must be gay

It would be better if they did not bother anyone ;)

Thank you for the question. It is a pattern I often see (and experienced myself) - leaving one job does not mean we are in the clear. These lessons will continue to show up until we lean into them Quick question and then some thoughts Have you downloaded the Safe Conversation Starters? It will give you a scripted way to address this Second. Yes you can talk with your supervisor and I always suggest you go not just with a problem- but with a solution This can be “I need your advice on something … I believe I am the subject of office gossip, and I am unsure what to say to bring it up. How would you recommend I do that?” You’re solution is to get their advice. It positions them as a resource and they are likely to support you

Hi Thanks for responding. I haven’t downloaded the conversation starters no. I will try to ask my supervisor for advice.

Great strategy!

No. Threats generally do not work, and it creates more disconnection

@@tammydunnettleadership thank you I'm just so stressed out because my colleagues are very disrespectful. Their always trying to exposed my personal life when it really isn't their business. It's sad that alot of adults conduct themselves as children.

Sorry for the late reply - your comment was put in the area for review as the site thought it might be spam. I am also sorry you are going through this. If it is not their business, just tell them you are not interested in discussing things right now ;)

If you want a script to say to them that will stop them from gossiping, I have a free download 😊. You may feel less angry with them if you communicate a boundary

Sorry to hear you did not have success. I hope you found another route

Have you tried to address it?