Funny story : I started empowering my kid by giving her choices which I was okay with either ways but she observed my behavior and one morning I woke up and she said mom," you have got three choices, you can play with me, lemme watch TV or give me tablet for a while!" Damn!! And she was okay with any of the above 😂😂😂 didn't know dis would come to bite me so quickly!!

"No matter what, and even if" is my new mantra when my kids are driving me crazy. Thank you! 🤗

I’m really grateful to you to teaching me how to raise my children one is girl 8 and one is boy 5 . And I’m single mother. Thank you

I appreciate your content thank you for putting this out here for free! Your positive parenting has changed my life and my childrens'. I've always wanted to reach my 5 year old's heart. It has been a struggle since she was super defiant and it was extremely frustrating. I'm more in control and freer, and so is she!! Now her little sisters are going to follow in her footstep of being respectful to me. Our lives are heading towards positivity and hope now.

I've already said so much...now iam out of words...all I can say is thank you and may the good God bless you with all the good things in life...may he guide you in every aspect of your life..

Discipline (learning): should not be done to make the parents life easier, but to make the child's life the best one possible. Discipline with the intention of teaching the child something through the medium of love

I love this channel. Thank you Dr. Paul!!!

Hahahaha am I the only one who thought ahead on the toddler one? "You can go on your own two feet..." me: "or you can be dragged...." Lol so wrong but I like the walking on Mom's feet idea, preparation for dancing with Dad moments ❤️

Really help a lot Dr.Paul,thank you so much!!!😊

Such wholesome, useful advice. Thank you!

thank you so much for making these videos. they are so helpful for my family who had been struggling to implement more positive parenting techniques.

Very useful! Let´s give them options. Bless you Dr.

Great video! Great examples! Thank you very much!

Thank you so much. Your advice has been a positive influence on our lives.

Great advice, always enjoy listening and learning from you.

Thank you very much. Your videos are so beneficial and they couldn't have come at a better moment for me. The advice you provide is both brilliant and simple at the same time. Maybe one day my children will also thank you for helping their mum become a perfect parent or at least get as close to that as possible. No matter what and even if... as simple as that.

This is so calm and grounding for a child. Thanks for sharing.

Your videos makes life easy ...Thank you Dr. Paul

This is excellent advice, appreciate the educated perspective 👍 keep up the awesome work u do 🙂

Dr. Paul, I’m a grandma. Wish I knew about you when raising my children. Learning a lot of techniques for my grands. Thank you.

Love it!!! Thanks again

Two choicesbworks like magic. Thanks !

Love this advice thanks again!!

Thank you for such simple techniques 😀

Boy, the teenager options were awesome! Thank you!!

Love this!!!

I have been going through each lesson. Interesting. New perspectives. Trying to apply but it is difficult when your older, our ways seem set and hard to change.

A person who doesn't want to change themselves will talk negative about this video ,a person willing to change themselves says thank you for this video

Dr Paul, the principles n values imparted here r worth more than gold.Thanks n God bless u in every way🤣S'times, when it's too much to handle cos "tho the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak", we need the intervention of God, God Almighty, the Spirit of God, to strengthen n help us in our weakness-in order to discipline IN LOVE

Great video!

I love your videos lol! they are awesome. i get to learn about my child and how to deal with their future behaviours! Great Vids Thanks!

I love your videos!!

Appreciate so much

Your videos are the best thank you

Thank you ❤

Thank you

Dr Paul, I have been recently following your videos and they have been very helpful as I have two boys aged 3 years and 2 months( newborn). My 3 year old is a complete threenager, throwing tantrums, getting him to do anything is a chore( right from brushing his teeth, bathing, eating) he tends to reject everything we ask him to do, he is not on the spectrum and very well behaved at preschool ( where his teachers say that he does everything himself) he is however behind on speech( understands directions but does not speak as much or repeats what we say mostly) his preschoolnis getting him assessed for speech delay, we have been trying to potty train him for the better part of this year and he just refuses to poop in the pot( his constipation is taken care of) but he goes in his underwear, nothing we do will get him to poop ( we have tried Sticker chart , M n ms, even scolding him out of desperation) but nothing works...please advise. Shivangi

For the teenager, would it be more beneficial to offer an option of something else to do instead, like a trip to the movies or the mall? I think sitting at the house wouldn't interest me either if I knew that my friends were out having fun. I'd even pick up another friend who couldn't go to the party either. I've done that before and it may have cost a little money but it saved me a lot of tension. I also have to add that I love your videos. Parenting has become such a positive experience now. Thank you so much!

amazing hint

Excellent.

That's genius! "If you go you are going without my permission".. Noted for the future.. Then they find out the consequences.. ☺

Love the Live On Purpose approach. But I don't have a three year old anymore or a teenager yet .. would love some more concrete examples for the elementary/middle school level kids. Especially in more difficult multi household situations 🙏

Thank you! Can you please expand what could be good consequences for the kids, how can we come up with consequences for the bad choices they made, what kind of framework do I have to use for them to learn.

Hi Dr Paul thanks for your videos they are so helpful.. can you please do a video on how to stop toddlers from biting us

This is great! Now I just need a hundred examples of different consequences that I can use that are appropriate.

Love and discipline are extremely different things😂😂🎉❤😢😅😊. Interesting video.

I just started attaching your videos& I love them. As a single hemiplegic mother of 3 how do I get my kids to listen& do as I say& not ignore me since they know I can't physically run after them,grab or pick them up. My 6 yr old runs from me& does whatever he wants.

"2 choices that i'm okay with.. 🤔😃 thank you !

Love your videos! 👨‍🔬(Maniacal laugh) I would like it if you had more on teenagers. Thank you so much!

Nice explaination sir. Only, when we agree to allow the teenagers to go anywhere without our permission, no doubt they will learn from the consequences but because there is some danger we are disagreeing so even if they are going on their own, we must keep a constant track of where they are by giving them their cell phone and calling or texting often. As the consequences can be disastrous.

Interesting with the teenager example. What consequences would you give if they choose to go to the party without your permission?

Thank you alwayz 😊 you help me be a better parent everyday 😂 I greatly appreciate everything 👍 stay awsome. Have an amazing day everyone filled with lots of unconditional lovez and laughter 😊👍💖💕💞💫🌠🌟✨🔥🌈☀🍀🌹🌼🌺🌻🎊🎉🎶💰💵#BESTLIFEEVER

I've been doing the my feet or your feet thing with my two year old SO MUCH lately and it's working! At first he would whine and say "No" to both options so I'd say "ok we're gonna go on mama's feet" and within a couple days he's figured out no isn't an option and has started saying "uhm, Abel feet"

"You can go to the party without my permission". And what consequences should we give when the teen choose this option?

What kind of consequences are good for a teen ager, for an almost teen ager and for a 3 year old??? Thanks a bunch!!

I really like how you imitate kids in your videos, no matter 3yo or 16 LoL

This may be a silly question, but when giving the two choices, do we let them know before hand that there will be consequences for choosing the less preferred option? Like, say... “You can choose to sit and do schoolwork with me, or you can choose to leave, but if you leave, ______ will happen?” My 3 and 4 year olds are very stubborn and I just found your videos and really want to try your methods! I just want to be sure to do them correctly. :)

So I am having a hard time applying this concept. Example, I want my 8 year old to help with folding the laundry. He just refuses. He refuses everything. I could say you can fold the clothes with me or without me. He will say, I pick. No. If I give him the teenager option. I can't think of a consequence that will entice him to do cores or school work

My almost 9 year old just said "no". So I asked him what choice he was saying no to. And he just says, "no, you heard me, I said no." So then I start to do what I would call the default and he screams that I don't ever listen that he told me "no". I never can get ahead with this kid.

To me the 2 words love and discipline has so much overlap that if you say the word love it includes tha concept of discipline too at the same tiem.. I have often used the same strategies while disciplining my children too. Getting into power struggles just isn't worth it when trying to discipline and the parent and so trying to avoid them is best. How much detail should I offer when offering an answer to a teenager or adult child's question about some choices I have given them after they have already heard a whole lot of erroneous things about me from the other parent and oters for a long time beofre now? Very difficult to judge how much detail to offer when trying to avoid not being believed. What does help for example in judgeing how much detail to offer of course for example is not answering any question while it is being asked in a moving car.

I tried the two choices method inspired by one of your other video (not sure I followed it correctly...) . And quickly I was confronted with the 3rd door, which in my toddlers case was to say: no. ok again, Your own feet or my feet? no. Hmm... I wasn't sure if I should than just proceed and pick the one choice where I pick her up. I did, and of course I got kicked and smacked and screamed at. Now I feel my kid just doesn't believe me I am giving her a proper choice :/

What is an appropriate consequence for the teenager scenario?

Thanks a lot for reminding that it's not about us, it's about our sons/daughters :-)

There are kids that approach would backfire on. They would go to the party and not care about consequences. I know one of them (a 14 you girl down the street) and with some of my kids/stepkids it did not matter what consequences they got, they just did not care, they continued the same bad behavior.

Hi Dr. Paul, Can you do a video on how to stop a Child from biting his nails? THANK YOU!!!

Do a video on how to stop a teen from lying and stealing.

I really like the idea of only giving 2 choices. If my teenager goes to the party without approval, what consequences should I give? I normally take away her belongings like cell phone but she doesn't care for them and be ok with it. She would normally just go find another electronic to use like TV. Any ideas?

So for the 3 year old, I just physically wrangle my screaming & fighting toddler into the car when she decides to come up with her own option? There HAS to be a better way that I must be missing... BTW, you are a Godsend for the couples who were raised in abusive homes & who are desperately trying to figure out how to not mess up their kid! There are so many "don'ts" out there, and far fewer realistic "dos"!

What would the consequence be though!

I don’t really get the part about with the 3 year old. If he is choosing option 3 which he made up because I’m not in control of one of the options, I don’t really know what that means/looks like, and a clear example wasn’t given. I’m not being a skeptic I’m just saying I was surprised you didn’t give a solution to a problem that you were saying is fairly simple. I liked everything else though. If you ever read this please respond if you can, thanks!

What if they come up with another choice that you are ok with?

Do you have any strategies to deal with a 6 year old who swears? Timeouts don't seem to work...no idea how to tackle this. He has heard my husband and I swear accidentally, so we are to blame sadly. Just don't know how to tackle this. Thank you!

So does controlling one of the options mean picking them up and carrying them out? I'm not sure that would be considered loving parenting.

I have a 10yr old that week do what he wants and take the consequences... how do I handle that?!?! Preferable BEFORE juvi....

I'm not sure I understand. Say he went to the party without my permission then what consequences should I give him?

Would it be better to say you can go but it will cost you to loose the Xbox for 5 days or you can stay and we can watch a movie and play Xbox all night.

Oh my! What if the teen choses to go to the unapproved party? What consequences should I give?

Do you help with autistic kids or do you have anything that will help with the struggle with autistic children.

What if you don’t know what love looks like 🧐 it seems relative to people and their experiences

So what would a good consequence be if the teen did decide to go to the party without your permission?

I have a question. What if you have a physically agressive spouse. Not abusive but rough?

How to enforce a child who does go out without your permission, because I have in 16 year old who goes out without my permission.

How can I make the nanny help me raising and disciplining my kids?

I don’t think I got this one dr Paul… what if u really Didn’t want him to go to the party and he still went even WITHOUT your permission?! Thanks

But if he decided to go with opt my permission, what should be the consequences? And how To implement them?

You say: It's not about the parents and making our lives easier? But all your examples sound exactly like that. We give the options, so it's all about what we (the parents) want. It's like we're not giving them two real options. They are fake options. Two real options would be: Stay home or go to the party (WITH my permission). But WE don't want him to go. Perhaps it's important to point out that some of our choices are also for the good of the parents. After all, if we are not healthy or super stressed, how can we take care of our children? I think we can also bo honest about this.

Yea but if the teenager says what is going to happen if they go without our permission, then what's going to happen?

Sometimes I wish to have only 2 or 3 kids so I can be calmer and happier mom....I can't manage well with 5 kids

Is there a way how I could get in touch with you personally???? Any email?

What if the teen still goes out without permission?? HELP!!

What if your teenager is just not listening to you at all... ( and I’m staying calm) I told them their friend could not stay over and I was totally disregarded and they ended up staying the whole weekend. Even when I went up to the room and told them thAt they couldn’t stay over. How do we deal with this.. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

What if you consider the party that the 16 year old wants to go to a dangerous place for them to be? You believe that there will be drugs, alcohol, and classmates that are known for getting into fights. What choices would you give the child?

🙏🙏🙏

What would you do with a 5 year old who whines often? She loses privileges but she doesn't seem to learn from that as she will still whine the next day. Eventually I will keep to what I said, and she'll end up doing what I asked but not after a lot of whining, and that is very annoying. How can I get her to follow through without the whining before?

Okay ... I will tell her what can be happen if she goes places or do things without my permission.... now ... what if she go to the party without my permission and nothing happens then what will happen is she will start keep going places and doing things without my permission... she will start thinking she’s okay to take decisions ... that’s okay for learning ... but not okay if she gets into trouble.... hmmmmm complicated

But I am not ok with a teen out there with nobody..esplly if that teen is a thirteen year old girl!

Which consequences he would have after going out to the party without permission ?

What if I give 2 options and they want neither :)

How do i stop my 3 1/2 yr son from spitting everywhere and on other people when he is frustrated or angry or embarrassed???

I can't do it anymore, I'm doing this alone, no love here ☹️