That criticism stuff can sometimes definitely become toxic.

@@deathstarwontsaveyou9892 can relate

I recently caught my wife of almost 7 years having an affair. She somehow turned it around on me by gas lighting me and telling me “if you put more effort in we can really work this out” her complaint was that I don’t do anything or give her attention which is why she fell for a married co-worker who gave her attention and validation. Except these were excuses. I was with her everyday, constantly praised her. The month before I caught her I sent flowers for Valentine’s Day and then again 2 weeks later for March 8th International Womens day, the latter I sent to her work. She was probably already beginning the cheating during this time and still posted my flowers to her story and said how great of a husband I’m and how all women are the office were jealous. Whenever she wanted to go somewhere I always went no matter what I was dealing with in life or how I felt that day or if I even cared about going there. Always went. One of her other excuses was “you never to the grocery store with me on weekends” lmao most husbands don’t do that either. Anyways the point I’m trying to make is that part about “can they take criticism” was my biggest red flag. But I just slowly communicated with her and she got better at it but still even 6 years in even she would get butthurt at any criticism. When I caught her having an affair she of course couldn’t take the criticism and the fact that my parents who financially supported her immediately dropped her out of their life. She had the audacity to say “I can’t believe your parents just forget about me. I can’t believe you didn’t fight for me” like completely delusional. Imagine cheating on someone but then expecting that person to fight for you and expecting that persons parents to reach out to you and care about your feelings. Extreme narcissism. Anyways pay attention to the red flags boys. Today I can’t even get her to start the divorce proceedings. She hasn’t sent any of my stuff or even answered my inquiries about divorce and my belongings. I think she’s regretting it and doesn’t want me to divorce her because it turns out her affair partner is a SJW weak man who is always crying about his life, always talking about his mental health struggles, and wasn’t even better looking than me. I wish I could say it was the sex but I’m fortunately very blessed in the “size” area so it wasn’t that. And the icing on the cake is the guy has been unemployed for months now. So how did I marry someone who threw away almost 7 years of marriage for a weak man with mental issues who isn’t even sought after by other women? By not paying attention to the red flags. In the moment I knew the red flags but I ignored them because I thought “I can be the one who changes her. Inside of her is a decent person” and sure enough many times that decent person came out during the relationship. But in the end you can never change somebody so learn from me and don’t be a hero, a dysfunctional person with moral flaws will almost always remain that way no matter how much you try to change them into a better person.

People don't change most of the times

I find most don’t have depth. I would think people older than 60 have evolved with more depth, finding it isn’t true, truly disappointing.

That happened when my ex had laryngitis.

There can be that, or their can be a deep conversation about something you connect or bond over for hours. Both are valid, there’s plenty more examples akin to these as well.

Meh

Exactly. The less awkard the silence the more you are compatible

WOW ❤ I LOVE THAT

❤

❤

That cut deep. But thank you !

I agree

Have you found them yet?

There's still time

See u in paradise

Thank you!!!

Honestly

Well I would like to know more about you if you don't mind

Don’t rub it in

​@@meteor901 let him rub it in

​@@meteor901 wait so that means I just found a spiritually awaken hot chick

How about meeting new people out of country.? From next country!

Same here my husband left me I tried each and every thing but he left me with two kids he just can't see my progress

She wanted to follow the new D she was getting

Yes ive done this mistake too. But also dont devalue attraction too much. Because i knew a guy with which i had very similar interests but i didnt feel a thing for him physically. The fact that he didnt look good at all to me made me sad and bit angry to be honest. Couldnt my mind twin come in a better package 😂. Im not very pretty myself but poor guy...damn. i wish his face would reflect his great qualities. He for sure will find a good woman. Me with my special character on the other hand, im a total lone wolf. I dont care anyone 😂

​@@etcwhatever I've heard that if you can picture yourself having sex with somebody then they are attractive

Same here! Cheers for a greater future

I left a previous girl because she was hyper sensitive and got offended by almost everything. Eventually, I got fed up and exhausted by it. It was unfortunate, because we were strongly compatible as far as shared values and interests. Oh well, it was best for me to move on.

Loved this comment

Entirely true. The word guru is used flippantly all the time by western people, but this man is a guru in the real sense of the word.

True, but you need to be aware of such a statement. Even though I respect Robert, admire him and have all his books, I don’t give him my mind ! I think and challenge his ideas.

I don’t share the same perspective on the world, but I do think his advice helps!

Sounds very nice and meaningful. listen to it over and over again

You already know the answer bro. It’s tough knowing that someone you trusted and loved can suddenly turn their back on you.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and we all know it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Keep reminding yourself everything in life is temporary and life will be so much better soon. Take care of yourself… and I really mean that.

I don't think you should end it over it, but you may need counselling or a third party for help

Jenny Keough, you spoke to my being ... zall

Brother please move on you don’t want to waste your time, we don’t have a lot and you should only spend your time with women who respect you.

I see someone Sensitive here or maybe someone who felt with someone who has low empathy levels? Idk, but if there is somethin about me to improve I’d love to hear it and change cuz most likely I wasn’t aware of it And same thing for the counter party if I see something wrong/needs improving etc I’ll pout it out without hesitating that’s how I want it to be. If they can’t take my criticism I’m out, I’m not gonna silence myself and my truth and be fake just to not hurt so one’s fragile ego If I got an opinion about a certain matter I need to feel safe to be able to share it if I can’t share it and be myself what’s there? A living hell a cage

No lie detected! This is everything IMO! Never what but how it’s said! It’s nice to be nice, especially guys. Our egos can’t handle when you’re supposed to be partner talks to you worse than the kids. I’m out before I catch a case! 😂

@@unknownoblivion2417 There's a difference between delivering criticism well and delivering criticism poorly. Ex. "You piece of shit, you never do the fucking dishes, just fucking do them once in a while, I'm so tired of this shit" and "Hey, can we talk about the dishes? I feel like I have to remind you to help out with them, can we come to some sort of an agreement on sharing the work?" Those are two different ways of delivering the criticism of "I don't feel like you help with the dishes enough", one belligerent and one kind. Which one do you expect to have the best chance of creating an actual change?

Real shit

Absolutely. Cheating can be small thing comparing what kind of secrets people can keep. And be very cautious in long distance relationships.

^ learned this the hard way lol

Correct. When he said mystery it made me think of intellectual mystery. Any person of true depth has an aura of mystery to them, because their intellect spans far and wide enough to make you think "I wonder what could possibly be going on in their head" because you are interested in them. You should feel interested not because they are not sharing enough, but because you feel as though they could never share enough - like they are an endless spring

I don't care for mistery in a relationship .i like it to be crystal clear . A curious partner will always bring novelties in your lives.

And vice versa. If you put too much value on physical attraction, you will not have a good relationship that is lasting. Most relationships nowadays are based on strong physical attraction. Good sex is not conducive to a lasting relationship and does not keep anyone together. Many people who are crazy about each other and have wild sex in the begining end up in bitter divorces. But friendship lasts, liking the person for who they are works. Not to say you should not value physical attraction and enjoy godd sex, but there has to be a proper balance. Inevitably, physical chemistry wears off, and then, what have you got left? Physical chemistry always wears off to a lesser degree, because a constant state of arousal is not humanly sustainable. I have options in dating, but I will not date anyone for their looks alone. It really does not impress me. And If they have bad character, I can't care at all about their 6 pack , how many hours they are at the gym, or what sexy tricks they know in bed, or how much money is in their account. I need to respect and admire a person and value them for who they are in order to even be attracted to them.

Hmm, my logic is looks and values for me personally is equal. There can be a woman who likes anime, and likes reading but if I dont find her sexually attractive, I can't select her as my partner. For me looks and values are equal and you need to find a partner that balances that. I like woman who are fit, feminine, gym-going, and has a nice butt and shape, and an attractive face, I select the delicious fruit of the garden.

@@joanofarcxxi All very true. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find such a person. My experience as a man is that whenever a woman has a great character and she is reasonably attractive, she is married. I traveled the world to find a woman who is single and overall attractive, but never met even one, not even the exception to the rule. That's why I live in the weird situation that I never got rejected by a woman, and yet I am always single. It's easy on the dating market to find pretty women or women with awesome character, but not the combination of both. Of course, such men are also rare.

@@ProfWho-ut5he You said it, brother. That's precisely how I feel.

@@hikari4303 Anime is an important value... Lol

Lol I'm picky too but there's 0.7% chance I will get my _upto the perfect_ partner considering my demographic region _Also I judge on Music tastes , Thinking process....and Cats_

And why shouldn’t you or anyone else be picky? I am too….and truthfully, single life isn’t all that bad!

@@lavatr8322what music taste do you avoid? I’m starting to think it’s smart to judge in my case a woman by her music taste. Tells you a lot about that person.

​@@lavatr8322 the music thing is pretty stupid and infantile. You're better off alone

​@@erko78 🤦

Não se preocupa, cara. A medida que você vai acostumando seu ouvido ao inglês e vai "incorporando" vocabulário suficiente pra entender a maioria das frases em inglês, vc não precisa mais de legendas se o áudio do vídeo for razoavelmente bom. Pode demorar um pouquinho, mas é surpreendente, quando você menos se dá conta vc não precisa mais de nada pra entender a língua.

You go to the video description and open show transcript, you'll be able to follow the video with subtitles.

@@harunaisahyahaya3743 they are saying to add more languages to the subtitles ... the subtitles here are only in English .. Also some Channels have videos translated in other languages

Long years ago I read many of his books to improve my English and learn the basics about life, it definitely helped me a lot.

@@clarkclarkePortuguese is here!

you're looking for you in other's person body

Since some of the people you're around know so much, take a look at their marriages, family relationships and friendships!

"They are just not capable to understand how important these things are," BOOM!

Is that why your name is M

That’s just a sad way of life. To keep testing people regularly just shows you don’t trust anyone at all

So well said

Well done young man 👏

That is impressive! Wish I had the wisdom at 18!💕 You are so much further ahead!

Absolutely

Yes definitely

lol so true

You can always improve those. I've done it, and it's pretty easy. You have to be consistent, that's the only way to improve.

i would love to take advantage of you and discard you like trash after a few years ^_^

Yeah you can improve on those "weaknesses" if you definitely work at it. We're social creatures and its really a pleasure when you can affect others in your life. One of the greatest pleasures imo

Something cool about a heroic tragedy tho

How wonderful that you can recognize areas of weakness. If you are open to suggestions- join something like Toastmasters that will challenge you to communicate well. It will push your comfort but likely give you great reward if you put in the work. Also, focus on fitness. These things will improve your confidence which will make you more attractive to others, and make YOU happier

I lol‘ed at the algebra part

Hectic.

Yes, that's indeed a pro tip. I like short haired cats, but not sleeping in the bed and no dogs inside the house. It's non negotiable for me.

Loving animals doesn't necessarily equal having pets... there's quite a big difference.

@@marinab106 Good point.