Didn't understand for the longest time why maintaining friendship was a struggle until I realize that most people make friends out of insecurity and bond over insecurity. No matter how kind or how genuine I proved to be I would always get backstabbed and shlttalked. If people are insecure they see you as a threat and it's hard to connect to someone you're threatened by.

Not only does getting rid of toxic friends feel freeing, it also helps you realize that in certain situations you too may have been the toxic friend. I've definitely had my fair share of toxicity, and I'm so glad that it took an emotional breakdown to realize my own flaws. Thank you Professor Stamps for teaching your ways.

I swear getting rid of toxic friends is the fountain of youth.

as a recovering people pleaser, this video means so much. thank you, professor stamps

While listening to her stories, I remember many memories, especially the part where a friend hates you because you are better than them or gaining more attention. Also, that clingy friend who will never let you go because you are their only friend. I learned the hard way that you need low-maintenance friends because if you get busy dealing with their issues, you will forget about yourself and your own goals. So don't be guilty of distancing yourself.

Please appreciate the classroom chatter sound effect at the beginning of the video 🥺

Here I thought I was the only one who thought life was better without "friends". Since I walked away from any kind of friendship or relationship, life has become so peaceful.

I've always joked saying "well ya know, I have no friends" but I can jokingly say that because I realized I'm fine with that. I'd rather that over toxic situationships.

I remember this girl planned a hike with me for Sunday morning at 7 am. I had plans the night before so trying to be a good friend, came home early to be in bed so I was ready at 7 am. The girl then ghosted me and texted me at 1 pm claiming she “ drank too much” This was the 3 rd time she did something like this. Without explanation, I blocked her from everything. Control, Alt, Delete

There are parts of adult friendships that require attention, sacrifice and patience. And if you're not willing to put in the work, there is an excellent chance their desire to do the same will also fade. And THAT is how you turn your friends into acquaintances. Class dismissed.

Guurlll I learned this is my late 20’s. When the booze wears off and the sun comes up, most of my “friends” were not friends at all. Had to cut em all lose and the calmness I felt was unmatched.

toxic friends are the biggest no no. I still remember a toxic friend I used to have growing up, I was young and didn't notice the way she actually mistreated me , made fun of me and tried to put me down because of her insecurities. they really try to suck all your energy and make you feel bad about yourself...they're just sad.

“recovering from a dusty life takes time” i laughed so much because same.

I've had every type of toxic friend imaginable. (1) They give unsolicited advice on your appearance (2) Self-absorbed flake whose too busy to emotionally invest or be present (3) Undermine other friendships (4) So much jealously underneath the surface (5) Want to trauma bond over their toxic romantic relationships (6) Make genuine connections and that person's SO is intimated or just arbitrarily doesn't want the friendship to flourish Tired of being backstabbed, talked about behind my back, always remembering birthdays....sending eCards, sending texts....helping with rent. I just give people less energy now. I kind of just fade to black

step 2: Make sure you're not the toxic friend

I’ve heard stories of professors continuing their zoom classes in the hospital while going through chemo treatments, from their cars because they’re homeless, BUT I’ve never seen a professor continue their zoom course from a jail cell. Thank you for your love and commitment to education. The stampede would be lost without you. God bless America, and may god bless YOU

I can relate 100% on the friend that gave you dirty looks when you levelled up. Deep down people like her just wants you to fail and tries to hide that by faking sympathy. I’ve come to realize those people lack sympathy the most. Block and delete! 🙌

the way i dropped a majority of my friends and they dropped me at the end of 2021.. i haven’t hung out with anyone outside of family irl since last year and i ain’t even mad. i didn’t feel genuine connection with a lot of them, and i just want to find my soul tribe already. if that means being alone, which is fine because i’m obsessed with myself, then so be it! i’m elevating, and want friends who are doing the same ;’))

I felt this video in my soul. I used to be so hung up on what other people thought of me and going out of my way to please people, but I was the only one getting hurt and let down each time. I really feel like the company you keep is a reflection of you so at the end of the day, keep cutting the grass cause you never know what snakes might be lurking!

Realized in the last few years that I don't have a "best" friend, only a collection of friends and acquaintances. Even my very tight group of college best friends of 15+ years exposed themselves as toxicly selfish (and gave me my first ever panic/anxiety attack in 2020 when it dawned on me that they did not care about a very serious event in my life). Transferred them into arms-length-away-friends category. Focus on two or three people in your life you can trust and your life will improve tremendously since you'll have all this new spare energy you were giving before to the undeserving.

Anyone who has toxic friends/acquaintances, look to your family first, chances are they trained you to attract/be comfortable with that. It can be enormously life changing to go absolutely no contact with your family of origin. I'm a grandma and wish all young people knew this- so much wasted potential out there. BTW- I learned that sometimes a simple "No, I don't want to socialise with you" is best. Do not engage in anything further. NO EXPLAINING!

I definitely can understand trying to break codependence with a best friend. Ive had the tendency in the past to tunnel vision on whoever my “best friend” is and it can cloud your vision and hold you back. Letting that attachment go can be hard but it is so worth it in the long run 💜

I feel a common problem that ppl have is they see us as objects to be used. Toxicity is the norm and good ppl are very very very hard to come by. We love you Kelly !

People say not to burn bridges but I firmly believe in blocking. There will always be more new people to talk to.

isn't it interesting that you can simply be yourself, and others will be triggered by it? very much agree that people who choose to be intimidated by you are distractions in your way, while you're on your way to your goals! loved this vid, entertaining as always :)

I'm not the kind of person that puts up with any bs. Lots of people are so desperate to have friends, they choose to put up with shit I wouldn't. It is hard to find people who are honest and just good, decent people that have true good character. I'd rather have very few or even no friends, then deal with their crap.

I had to cut ties with a friend, it wasn't until she moved away that I found out I was her best friend. When her other best friend (a mutual friend) assaulted me and I told her about it her first response was "I hope you don't expect me to not be friends with him." This event should have been enough, but the next time she was in town we met up for lunch. We spent the entire conversation talking about her family, and she didn't ask me a single question during that lunch. That was actually the final straw. But yes, I am also working on dwindling down friends to those that are mutually nourishing. Good tips, you can be a good person and not want to accept bad friends with bad behavior. You owe them nothing.

And the "friends" that literally suck your energy dry, and you need an actual nap after meeting them! I need to spring clean thanks to Professor Stamp 😜

I've had toxic friends most of my life, it reflected my toxic home situation having a controlling abusive mother. Because in all honesty I didn't know what a healthy relationship was and I had to do a lot shadow work and internal reconstruction. But I'm glad I don't have toxic friends anymore I've gotten rid of them the last couple of years ago

Professor Stamps, I’m already ahead of this course. I weeded out my toxic friends almost a year ago and now I have only one real friend LOL. Also uninterested in making new friends.. people are annoying.

Everything is energy. In order to remove toxic people, you also have to remove the toxicity you've been carrying. Life is peaceful ❤ have a beautiful day everyone!

It actually feels great cutting out a toxic friend. There's nothing wrong whatsoever with having friends/acquaintances with benefits. Not just the freaky kind either. Genuine people that wanna see you do well actually do exist. Just have to be like a tree and let the dead leaves fall like Rumi said.

Love this. I cut a friend group off a few weeks back because I didn't feel any deep connection with them. They are good people but there was not an ounce of love in that friendship. And life has been better recently. I feel ambivalent sometimes over the decision I made but that's life I think. The biggest problem has been being alone around people. I don't mind being alone in general, I love it. But it's terrifying to be alone and to see everyone around you huddled in their own friend group around their own people who they love. It's genuinely so dreadful and it's been the worst part of having no friends so far.

Literally taught myself it’s okay to let the wrong people go , even if they seem right. We need people to build us up, not make us feel worthless. I try hard not to care but slowly I’m just not giving a crap 😌👌🏽

Thanks for sharing! I have encountered toxic people, but after exercising my 'speak up' muscle, they back off. A lot of the time children are taught to be nice to everyone, but carried to an extreme this can develop into unhealthy habits (door mat, people pleasing, etc). Stay strong sister!

This video really relates to me. Now I don't have any friends cause I cut out all my toxic friends. As you change you notice you don't connect with those friends anymore!

I become very tired around people, I just don't have the energy to invest too much of my time to make friends. I'm currently investing my time with my bf and I do hang out with his friends. I really like that I'm not too close to his friends but get along enough to chat and play games. I think I enjoy friendships that don't require a lot of maintenance

Also, learn the red flags and don’t let yourself get too close with people too fast! Once someone thinks you’re available and feels entitled to your time it’s much harder to step that back down when you find out they’re manipulative, dependent, etc.

I kind of ghosted a few friends bc I outgrew them as I started practicing self love and realized how one sided our friendship was. They took advantage of my kindness for years and I was just done. I tried the gradually distancing myself technique (which works 95% of the time for me) and these 2 just clung on for dear life. They wouldn’t let me go so I said I was just focusing on myself for awhile and didn’t have energy for anyone else so i can fix my life (which is the actual truth) but even that didn’t work, they found ways to try and manipulate my empathy to keep my energy focused on them and their needs instead (which was how our friendships were to begin with- me always putting their needs over my own) they literally tried to compromise with me about a boundary i set, so I just stopped responding all together.

Kelly, I have a degree in anthropology and intercultural communication (literally looking at people, cultures and behaviour) and still genuinely think a lot of your content has more life lessons I ever learned in that university course! Loveee ya

I needed this. I have a toxic friend who is always telling me I'm her bestie, her sister, etc... which is so weird because I've never called her my bestfriend ever. She has so many internal issues and tramas, as you mentioned, she is literally beyond repaire and it's the most stressful thing hanging out with her and keeping up with her bs drama that she willing drags herself into. It's a massive headache of a "friendship". I plan on hitting her with some shear honesty of why I don't want to be her friend before I let her go. I'm done 😮‍💨. Anyway ~ thanks professor Stamps ❤️

I only have three really good friends. I used to think I was a loner. As I got older I began to understand most people only have one or two.

Thank you for this Kelly! I was kinda insecure but now I'm dead sure that the day I finish high school i'mma block every single person who've ever been bad to me without any explanation coz that's the best option for me, atleast it feels like

Recently learning how to do exactly what is best for me. I’m 40. Thank you so much for the reminder.

Kelly, teach us how to make new friends! All the times I've tried as an adult, people were either looking to hook up, looking at their phone the whole time, or even more socially awkward than me that it was like pulling teach to get any conversation out of them. I used to be able to make some good friends from work, but now I work at home. Being too busy doesn't help either.

Those block and delete moves really added to this class, I learned we can even dance while removing toxic people out our lives 😂 thank you Kelly

YEP, I'm living life in the "no friends zone" too and a proud member of team unbothered!

I honestly don’t need friends…. Okay maybe 1 or 2 good friend(s). Cause it’s drama free. But what I hate is when folks get jealous and entitled and think I don’t notice…. Like why don’t you think I keep dodging hanging out. I can’t take your energy and mine too like 🥴. I rather stay home , work, gym, shopping LOL.

Listen, this video is spot on at giving perspective on how to lay the foundations for any type of relationship whether platonic or not (including the one with yourself). At the end of the day, you want to be in places where you feel secure and supported to explore yourself without having to make yourself small to accommodate others. As a recovering people pleaser, this really helps me come to terms with the fact that being there for people doesn't mean you have to carry their baggage or save them. It just means you hold space by reinforcing and respecting boundaries. Your assignment is to work on yourself and do your best to make space for people you want in your corner. It takes work but it is so worth it once you realize how peaceful life can be.

Me and my best friend were best friends for almost 20 years. But now that I’m realizing things I realize he’s not so great and I don’t have to be his friend because we’ve have been for so long and if I love them,I have to accept and deal with their flaws… like no I don’t. And honestly I feel so much better and lighter now .

Don't know about the lying part. I would say that it's even more fun to tell them the truth, because its freeing, and it helps the toxic person to understand the effects of their problems potentially, but mostly, it literally repels the ones you don't want around you, and it attracts the ones who can understand and resonate with you. I've found this to be true. The truth really does set you free in every way.

I have a childhood friend who holds me to my old standards. My glow up made him feel the pressure to progress. And he made me feel bad for that. I choose option 2 TRUTH and then 4 BLOCK.

It's always good to cut off toxic friends out of our lives so we won't have any negativity in our lives and so we can know who our true friends are

I'm a year late to the party, but my gosh, people are very vocal about their insecurities, but when it's time to congratulate...crickets. Love the channel.

I've let toxic people see the door if they don't like who I am. Let the trash take itself out.

I relate to this 100%! I am so tried of everyone and their problems weighing down on me. I have been distancing from toxic family since last year and leaving toxic work environments. I am getting rid of all that doesn't serve me because being honest with myself I have been giving with out any reciprocation. Putting peoples needs and desires before my own has only set me back. Not anymore. I am physically tried and would like to enjoy my own energy and thoughts for once. So thats what is since last year and thats how it will be going into 2022 and beyond...

Dude I literally want to be you. And honestly not being financially independent is the only this stopping me and keeping me tied to toxic people

This is the content that the GIRLS NEEEEED. Thank you professor Stamps for another classic

I am practically waving at the screen going "KELLY!" cause I just love you so much and the things you teach. You're just like me and I learn to be a better version of myself from you everyday.

This was SUCH a great video. All of this. I’m similar to you, and had many fun careers, moved all over the US alone, and I’m now learning where I fit in and “how” to be my authentic self. Toxic friendships can truly hold back so much. Proud of you and all of your accomplishments!

THANK YOU! God forbid you leave these draining ass waste of time petty friendships and suddenly you’re a narcissist….

This was such a wholesome and down to earth video. Didn’t come here expecting this but you made this video so great and articulated it well. Also im here for the “delta airlines” humor😂

THANK YOU KELLY STAMPS! People call me selfish, a sociopath, heartless, blah, blah, blah🙄I’m true to myself, honest as possible and don’t feel bad for telling toxic people I’m not playing by their rules- I’m playing to win, so be on my team or loose.🏆✨

Your such a big inspiration to me girl! I’ve been taking some of your advices and using them in my life and it’s been life changing!! 🥺😌😊 thank you for being such an unproblematic queen!!

This came just in time. Thank you Kelly. I kinda miss my toxic friend. But, it's been so peaceful. And, I need to remember that.

I am living for the straight talking, continually unbothered Ms Stamps. 👏

I really needed this. I was going through some family issues and school problems and I genuinely needed a break from everyone including my best friend (depression episode, or season). I believe we became too codependent (although she says she doesn’t like that term) with each other early in college and it was fun and exciting but it truly can cause issues when you recognize you start to lose your individuality in a friendship. She is also more extroverted than me and I respect that but we had to have a convo recently as to why I was distant lately. At first i thought she would understand where I was coming from with a break but I still kept her in the loop when things were too bad but she kept deflecting and misunderstanding what I say to the point that I couldn’t keep being this attached to her. It felt like a relationship (nor do I want this in a romantic relationship). It seemed if I needed to take time for myself it was offense to her. After having a very strenuous 3 hr convo I said my peace of how I want to be authentically myself in this friendship and I needed patience. Although she didn’t truly understand me. It reinforced in me that I don’t need people to truly understand me to a T but just let them see my growth from afar.

girl I have been there, done all that & then some. including "family". it's nearly impossible to find anyone who is truly a decent person.

Doing what is best for you will def get you out of the people pleasing stage and help you start living for you! 🙌🏽💖

Thank you for teaching and inspiring! Growing a channel, and getting rid of toxic friends, two very important things!

I love your ability to incorporate subtle comedy into serious topics😭😹

I am cutting off toxic friends all the time. My peace and energy is more important than toxic drama. I am working on a lot of inner healing. So I kind of have a no narcissist attitude. Thanks for the extra ideas and advice lol it works

Emphasis on not putting yourself down to make them feel better!!!! They begin to be jealous & be hateful & do anything to tear you down!

I just did this by mistake with my boyfriend andi know better. I didn't realize I still had codependency in me. Watch it in others and yourself. It's toxic either way.

My favorite is truth and delete! I have had to get used to telling people how I really feel, but I’m feeling so much more carefree and I’m choosing to surround myself with better friends who I also have more time to pour into now that toxic friends aren’t taking up all of my energy.

I had someone who...saw the worst in me and didn't give me the benefit of the doubt and would make it seem like it was my fault they blew up at me. I felt awful for cutting them off until they essentially wrote "f you good riddance, you're always judging people anyway" (which is not a true statement) and then I felt relieved because I made the right decision. it actually made me laugh, and I told them so, and I blocked them

Had to do this as well and I just unfriended and blocked them because it was a one sided effort when it came to the friendship and I wasn’t into it anymore. It took months before one even realized I had unfriended them and it just let me know I made the right choice.

Im so thankful for this course, because lord knows I needed these credits to graduate, and I love multiple answer questions! I chose to avoid and lie like my life depends on it. Thanks professor stamps!!!

I’m having the best time being alone, secure within myself, knowing my worth/value and just simply loving myself and having fun! (: ❤️

I relate to this video a lot! I’m in the network stage after many years of only having one friend. It so important to have many and varied people in your life. One person cannot be the end all be all

Just moved to Belgium as an international student and if I tell you how much I’m struggling. I like my space and all that but I realized it’s not healthy just being on your own. I want to make friends but the idea of drama attached from it scares me. And I’m in my 20s so it gets harder now that I’m an adult. Anyways😅 thanks for the video Kelly

Kelly, I wasted SOOOOO MUCH TIMEEEEEEEE PRECIOOOUS TIME, talking to TOXIC (willingly toxic/narcissistic) people, all my life (especially between 15-22) and I regret it SO MUCH. What I took from that experience is that... it's just not worth your time to insist on toxic friendships. They're not suddenly become a cool/nice person just because you want to. You don't need a group of friends. It's just NICE to have one, if it's BETTER than being alone/having no friends!

First step to recovery, I completely agree. Thank you, Kelly, well said.

Your skin is absolutely glowing!!! 💖💜💖💜💝Must be either the skin regiment you showed once, the tiramisu divorce or being able to remove toxic people 🤔

Truth and Block! Life’s too short for toxic people. Cheers Kelly for your young wisdom ❤️

Step one: have no friends. I knew I would benefit from this somehow

You have wisdom beyond your years. Great job with today’s “class”😊

This is the first time I'm watching your videos and I already love you!

You’re almost at a million subscribers 🥺💙💙💙 yasssss

So glad I enrolled in Stampede University! I needed this course! Thank you Professor Stamps! ❤

miss stamps your videos are SO insightful! keep going 🐌

There's no better classroom than this, Kelly. All hail the Stampedes!!

I’ve been binge watching your videos for days now and EVERY👏🏾SINGLE👏🏾VIDEO👏🏾 does not disappoint ‼️

Ma gosh yes "I WILL ALWAYS DO WHAT'S BEST FOR ME" 👏🤩

Thank you for sharing your gift of independence and brilliant creativity with us! It is inspiring!💜🙌 I have about 3 "ride or die" friends in my life and that's all I need.❤

I came out of a toxic and dangerous relationship by lying my absolute ass off. According to them, I now live in Scotland with two cars and a hunk of a boyfriend. Idk who invented lying but it's definitely been a asset in my life.

"kappa delta airlines gamma" 😂 I'm livin' for that "block and delete" dance 🤣🤣she made my day.

I never clicked on a video so fast! I have a friend that CONSISTENTLY puts their drinks on my tab without me knowing then dips at the end of the night. Finally stopped talking to them 2 days ago!!!

I just stared watching and can already tell this is prime Stamps content! Bravissima!!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼