Yes, thanks for sharing. it’s definitely individualized felt safety based off their life experiences. For each child/teen, it’s important to be curious as you figure out how to best help them.

Yes, that makes sense if kids are used to noise or not if they would do better sharing a room. It’s whatever they are used to. I’m glad you find our videos helpful as you also foster :)

And I’ve had teens that wanted stuffies!! Some of these kids have been from home to home and it’s a comfort thing!!!

Oh and a little advice from my experience. I had a teen with food hoarding issues. Bc she didn’t know when she would get her next meal. She would literally sleep on food. I took her to the store weekly and let her pick out her own snacks and she had a snack box in her room. The hoarding stopped!! She knew she had food!

I love this idea! Yes, normally we don’t have food in rooms, but depending on placements and their needs, we have an always ok to eat snacks/food in kitchen. And eating meals and snacks at consistent times also is helpful 👍 When they are older, I think food in the room makes more sense :)

@@HappyHoppe she would sneak it to hoard it. So I decided to do the box in her room bc she felt her food was safe there. Normally I wouldn’t either

Hey Faye, you are a courageous teen! I admire you a lot. Kids and teens need to be safe and that is why the foster care system exists. I’m not sure how it is everywhere, but here in my part of the country, once kids are over 14, they have a lot more say - obviously doesn’t mean they get to do whatever they want, but they are invited to court days and have a say, they have a say if they want to go home with birth parents or if they would want to move foster homes, etc. Every family is going to have different house rules. Some may limit the time on social media (for example not during school hours, after homework is done, after room is clean, etc). For the safety of the teen, a caseworker may need to remove a phone (for example if the teen was using the phone to have inappropriate conversations). A caseworker comes to check in monthly in the foster home and you have the right to contact your caseworker with any concerns you have between then. If you are not safe with your mom, then yes, talk to the counselor - being in foster care means that you will be safe and it means that your mom can get the help she may need if she’ll accept it. Be open with your foster parents - let them know your likes and dislikes. Be gracious to them too, because we’re human and we don’t do everything perfectly. They may say or do something that upsets you - don’t hold that in, but talk respectfully with them so they don’t have to guess why you may be upset. Also, don’t feel like you have to tell your whole life story to everyone you meet - even your foster parents until you feel comfortable to do so. I’m praying you end up somewhere really great and you accept the help 🙏

@@HappyHoppe thank you! And i really hope that i do get a say (i am over 14), because i think i'd rather stay in a foster home. and really, thank you, you're a great help

Oh yes, this is a great recommendation I should’ve added. Yes, we do this all the time of giving choices - for fun stuff and when it’s something we need them to do like a shower - “do you want to shower before or after dinner?”