Very efficient

Yes,absolutely. Anything, anytime!

yes i agree

That’s exactly what i’m used to. Then i came here and realize you have to make an appointment in order to talk to a friend.

If you reached a friendship level so high that you are nearly close as family they do.

If that's the case I'd love to have German friends :)

Totally with you, I'm black and born in Germany and I can see the difference, my dad never could. The minority of people think harmful. And I stae all the time, often for the same reason as your granny😂

this is a very charming story

Awww that ending totally warmed my heart 🥺🥰

Where we live, staring is extremely rude. In fact you wouldn't get away with staring at people here. I feel staring is part of a very selfish attitude of gaining pleasure or satisfying curiosity and giving nothing back whatsoever apart from a really uncomfortable feeling. A staring person would get a very strong reaction here in NZ from many. Others will just silently feel extremely uncomfortable. I would be appalled if anyone stared like that around me. In Australia there is a bar which has banned staring due to the predatory and intrusive nature of staring. I agree some people are exceptionally beautiful. But there is no need to be greedy and disregard the person's feelings and general freedom from unwanted intrusion like the Grandma did.

I think it's more an interested/fascinated watching. Remember the times our grandma's were young ladies. That times it was totally normal to watch excited to foreigners and speak and laugh with the hands in front of their mouth, like chicken's . This behavior today by our grandma's is the same, except the chicken's thing☺️

Hey, i am from Pakistan and living in Dubai. I looking a friend

" I was always struggling if I can invite someone to a get-together when the person isn't speaking a bit of German as not everybody else was 100% confident speaking English." In my humble opinion the #1 rule if you want to make friends in Germany is to learn the language as good as possible. Even though my English is quite good and I indeed enjoy speaking English for a limited amount of time, it's exhausting for me. That's why I wouldn't befriend somebody who doesn't speak German at all. And to make matters worse, if somebody only speaks very broken German that get's very quickly annoying as well.

Thanks for sharing your insight :)

Sounds interesting 😅

Bei mir war allet auch laaaange her echt zufällig

Happy to hear! 🤗

I wouldn't call it "cold" per say. more like 'reserved' as in not wanting to bother everyone around us with our emotions. Once you get into someone's circle of trust you'd be surprised how emotional Germans can be. Either way, good luck to you and keep chipping ;-)

YES. I am Latina American too and have the same problem but with a girl. It’s so frustrating sometimes. Like today I screamed in my pillow lol. But I think I made a kind of some progress a few weeks ago so I keep going. This video definitely helped a lot tho

@@ranekeisenkralle8265 but how I can I get her to open to up to me more because I want her to know that I care and I don’t mind if she shares the emotions with me but it’s so frustrating she still doesn’t open up a whole lot

@@HeyItsSarah30 Careful there. You really don't want to be viewed as maybe manipulating her - and that can easily happen if you try to take active steps towards her opening up. In the long run that likely would do more harm than good. Depending on how long you know one another and how much trust she feels towards you, you might get away with straight-up telling her that you don't mind is she shares more of her emotions with you. But ultimately there is but one thing you need: Patience. And lots of it. Since I don't know her background I am loath on giving more detailed advice than that.

@@ranekeisenkralle8265 Yes I don’t actually straight up ask her personal things because I don’t want to make her uncomfortable or feel like I’m pushing her. I’m just trying to be patient. We’ve known each other for 3 years but apparently she told me she didn’t consider me a friend until last year. It’s hard sometimes ooof.

Absolutely!

And that is just scratching the surface. Yes.

Yeah right its actually strange how we draw a line between private life friends and people we work with! i am work for over 10 Years in the same with mostly the same people and we have done so much tighter (especially get drunk in the office at day (birthday coffee and cake celebrations change regularly in to little wodka „taste tests“) and we also used to go 2 times the year clubbing the night and almost the whole office sufferers together at same in the office BUT DESPITE of all this memories we. Still Divide out work frinds from our real good frinds“ at lest IAM se them them stll as work Colleges instead ofmor l already has ike the school class from tTHIS at all, nobody slippt over from the Colleges

Oh thank god for this! I am moving to Berlin in 2 months, from a tropical country to the dead of winters and having some friends would make everything so much livelier! ❤️

😅

Thank you so much for your insights and kind words 😊

Nice comment :) so agree - authenticity & genuine interest in others is an alchemy of making friends 😊

This is a very well written piece of information and absolutely true...

Same experience ❤

Yes and no. It highly depends on the culture of the company and how much you also integrate. We have had companies where we were able to make friends and others where we weren't.

@@simplegermany You're maybe correct. If you are working in a creative environment. Well, I worked for roughly forty years now in industrial and craftsmanship areas. I never met someone I would consider as a friend. And most of the time when you left the respective company's, you'll lose the connection to these people immediately. It's crazy. You worked together, you had a beer or two together, shared time and stories of life and liviing. Then you leave the company, for whatever reason, that's it.

I sincerely hope that at this time you would have been past this situation. I have not left Nigeria all my life. So i can't presume to know what you feel. I just want you to know that you're awesome and whether they are faking it or not you have made it. And they would not have hired you if you're not great at what you do. So rock on and settle more smoothly. See you in Germany, hopefully ❤😅

I sometimes caught myself seemingly staring at a person, and giving them a smile after realizing. All smile back. Well, I was not staring at all, I was deep in thoughts, having a 10.000 metre stare somehow ledged on a person. Coming out of my head, realizing my eyes are glued on a person, smiling is the best I can do.☺

An Auslander? From where?

Yep. People watch here a lot. I don't watch them back... So I sometimes hope they will lose interest NOPE 🤣🤣 I'm a lawyer they are fascinated.

Jep, that can happen, but keep at it, only if you want to of course 😉

Kia ora, I have made friends from very many places all over the world in my life. They have been very very close friends until old age or death. I have never made friends with a German. I think they are so closed off that I would not have any opportunity. I went on a lot of long bus trips and I believe I could pick who the Germans were if they were in pairs. They spoke to eachother very briefly and very seriously. The volume was so low that you would barely hear a sound. They never smiled, never made eye contact and never looked happy or joyful at all. I found them to be the most sour looking people I can think of when it comes to young people. They gave me the creeps to be honest because it feels like they are not interested in anything other than what they are doing, which relates to being organized and self-focused.Their heads often seemed down. I assume they are somehow intimate with eachother because they travel together. I feel no love, joy, curiosity, openness, spontaneity or friendliness from their vibes. I was swimming in a river one day and spoke to a man staring at me, and I was told later that an expensive camera was hanging from his neck. He said he was from Poland which was really exciting to me-to meet someone from such a remarkable country and People. He was much the same. No expression, no smile, no attempt to seize a moment of human interaction, discovery, aroha, manaakitanga, or kotahitanga. I was disappointed at the anticlimax where no friendliness, curiosity, warmth or rejoicing was returned at all. My people have smiles and a greeting or perhaps a handshake. I have written many comments around Germans in German focused spaces like this one. I haven't had any feedback, but have received a few "likes" as a tiny indication that someone somewhere resonates with one of the thought out comments I have shared. I have given up sharing any of my time consuming comments now, but have replied to people who I know are from a place like the U.S.,the UK, Australia or other places where I know friendliness is common. I have built up friendships with people, and although it may only last days up to about 2 years, I often think about those people and wonder how they are. I already feel a bond with you because I know we have both been unable to receive any real outstretching of heart, openness, aroha, care or sharing from a place that avoids new friendships. My people are known for being friendly, accommodating, nice, laid back and easygoing. You can share a friendly gesture or korero with almost any stranger in so many situations. Every interaction is a sharing of many things, it could be friendliness, empathy, a question or request for information, a compliment, or anything. But they are always good vibes. Because we are strangers, it truly elevates the entire experience. It is a gift and a joy that even with a total stranger we can uplift, be uplifted, share something interesting, share ourselves, enjoy the diversity of others and see a tiny snippet of someone else's life. Not putting yourself in others' shoes is a sure recipe for self absorption and of course complaining too, as a national pastime. How do people find time to complain but not korero with a stranger? The snippets are always fascinating because they show a small speck from a brother or sister's experiences of the moment or time. To take an interest in others and receive such openness and to capture so many shots of humanity is typical in our culture. The interest and friendliness towards others has a snowball effect. They truly lighten your day and you can briefly reflect on the vast mosaic of human experience. Rather than being wrapped up in oneself, not looking at, listening to, smiling at, giving to or finding an opportunity to be supportive or helpful, here we are a nation of brotherhood, kindness, sameness, unity, manaakitanga and kotahitanga. I feel very lucky that I happened to be surrounded by an entire population of aroha and much gratitude, humility and brotherhood. That is how I feel about my people, the people of New Zealand. I have no desire to leave this place. But if I did, I would visit a poor place where people are bound to be happy and joyful, like Fiji or Tonga. I would visit the UK Ireland or Scotland where I can feel friendliness and be myself. I would go to Guatemala, but never to Germany. Knowing that the aroha among my people is seen as 'smalltalk" and that it is viewed as fake, I find is the opposite of human, it is a true distortion of kindness. There is nothing fake about any of our korero. It all comes from the heart and there is always a few moments in which kind regard can be shared. I share my brutal honesty because people think they value it. I don't believe they do value honesty except at the level of their own very uncaring and unfriendly level. I am amazed that when trying to share with others, there was no repricosity. Rather than learn and look up to people, I feel I have been repelled by many Germans and one Pole. I have to find connection to the people there with absolutely no input from them to me. It is the way they are capable of getting to know a person very very well and THEN show them and only them some friendship that I have to still see kindness in. By the way, my very good friends were from France, the Netherlands, India, the Phillipines, Tonga, Peru, Scotland, etc. The comment friendships were with people from the countries of the UK, the U.S, Poland, Georgia, Australia, and all the other places were unknown. Not fake smallcomments. I haven't forgotten any of the ones I connected with in depth. Those are just some thoughts from someone "Kiwi as."

This is not true. In Brasil 🇧🇷 you always can make new friends, the age doesn’t matter. I miss so much this way of living… 😢

Never I guess 😂

Very good question… but if it’s me I just let the things happen… I don’t like this idea about waiting months for the “approval” of someone. Seems to me a bit of submission

Lesbisch? Die beiden?

How so?

It is easier to start a conversation with a stranger, who also has a dog 😉

Oh my good! I appreciate your courage!!!! I’m too shy for that 🙈🙈🙈

To be honest that depends on the friendship. We can’t think of general taboo topics. All the best for your move 😊

@@simplegermany Good to know, thank you ❤️

At first it was culture shock but now I think I prefer reserved shop workers. Makes things easier and quicker. :)

At first it was culture shock but now I think I prefer reserved shop workers. Makes things easier and quicker. :)

😅

Yes, we released a video on how we met just a few weeks ago 😉

😅

@@simplegermany That was not a joke. "Bekannter" is basically the stage prior to friendship - and for those wanting to become your friend (or who you wish to befriend), this also serves as vetting period.

Who's the least friendly according to that list? (Also I have brazilian friends who moved to Ireland and they would disagree I think :S) 😅

@@Anni_Mau Czech Republic

They are so easy to talk and laugh with. They are similar to us in NZ. The German culture is really hard for me to get my head around. People here in NZ, in our land, in public have been yelled at in my city. Once for being a "dirty Jew". And once for riding their bike on the "wrong" side of the bicycle track! Rrotfl.

Mit einem echten Berliner kommst Du in der Regel auch recht schnell in Kontakt, besonders in den Kneipen und Bars, natürlich nur wenn Du das auch willst, in der Innenstadt oder den inneren Bezirken findet man die aber kaum noch, die vielen typischen Eckkneipen sind schon verloren gegangen und die Ur-Berliner leben eher am Stadtrand wie meine Eltern, da sie sich die Innenstadt gar nicht mehr leisten können. Echte Berliner findest Du in Pankow, in Teilen des Weddings, Lichtenbergs, in Marzahn, Köpenick, Schöneweide, am Westend, Ruhleben, Tegel, Frohnau, Buckow, Mariendorf oder Lübars. Es verteilt sich halt so ziemlich. In der Innenstadt und den Cafés, Clubs und Bars treffen sie dagegen Einwohner/ Hipster und Neureiche aus allen möglichen Teilen Deutschlands, Europas und der Welt und ob sie mit denen Bekanntschaft oder mehr machen ist halt ihr Ding.

True words. 👍🏼😀

Thank you for sharing. We fully agree 😊

I'm a German living in France. It is always hard to find real friends. A real friendship is so much more than having fun with somebody. I found a lot of wonderful people here. We have a lot of fun and share the same interests etc. But they are just wonderful people...not my friends. In German we call them: Bekannte.

@@robertzander9723So findet man schnell Bekannte. Aber eine echte Freundschaft ist eher selten so zu finden. Man muss echtes Vertrauen entwickeln. Freundschaft bedeutet auch Verantwortung. All das dauert Wochen, Monate oder sogar Jahre...

okay :D

hahaha that is a very interesting question. I guess you can always try to stare back and smile :)

Best of luck 😊

@@simplegermany can u help me for finding job

Homestays usually only work, either if you know a family already or through an organization, which offers exchanges. For example Education First offers German language courses and living in a host family.

And probably it wouldn't be the best idea, staying with people your age is probably best. More fun. The cap generation thinking is high and you have more access and knowledge about things that are fun for your age

😅

Gracias por tu apoyo! 🙂

Impossible? No. But certainly difficult as you need to find someone with at least somewhat matching personality - wich due to the rather reserved demeanor of germans takes a lot of trial and error. But giving up is not an option either, because if you give up you already lost your chances.

Mate. You should've come to NZ. We would make you feel welcome, thought of, cared about, one of us, valued, interesting and valuable. He tangata, he tangata, he tangata. We have a responsibility to care about eachother. In our English version we sing... "Men of every creed and race, gather here... in the bonds of love we meet". (Our national anthem). Our other official languages are Maori and Deaf. It is astounding for a Kiwi to see that newcomers are not welcomed into the fold. How can people live in Germany for 3 or 10 years and still not have a German friend????????????????????????????????????? ?? ??

@Ranek Eisenkralle Mate, he might have a better chance if he looks around till he finds a Kiwi. Or people from countries that treat people as human beings and not phariahs. He'll have a much better chance to make friends that way. Germans are too interested in themselves than homesick humans suddenly finding little human kindness in a very inhumane, cold and judgemental environment.

@@barbsmart7373 I’m living in Germany since 3 years and don’t have any friend. Unfortunately I was coming exactly 1 month before the first Corona lockdown, and I needed waiting more than 1 year and a half for a place in language school. Together with this have the fact that I’m a shy person and I really felling a lot of shame when I do something wrong or I can’t understand what someone talk with me… I just want disappear when this happens. Put one person like that together with this German characteristics: very selective about friendship. Never doing small talks. Looking for you longer (oh my good this always give to the impression that I’m doing something wrong, or dressed inappropriate, or I’m strange…) I was trying one verein but the ladies from my course was always talking with ether but never with me… for me is especially very hard making friends in here. I’m sorry if I was doing mistakes in my text. I learned English alone in home. I really want to know your country! Your description sounds like a wonderful place. Have a nice day ☀️

@@heim3212 Kia ora my Friend! I am so sorry that I am now replying. I have started a few times but I have been interrupted or never finished and my writing disappears each time! I felt very sad reading that you have no friends. Firstly I am really appalled that a culture can involve treating human beings with such disregard. However, I also want to really support you and the beautiful person that you are. I cannot express how much I appreciate your comment written to me. You are so honest, open and kind. I am that kind of person most of the time as well. I know I am very empathetic and you may have that personality as well. Actually, I really, truly understand the experiences you have. When I was a kid, I was very, very shy. One teacher wrote that I was withdrawn. When I see some of the photos of myself, it is very obvious how afflicted I was with a complete lack of confidence. Actually, I have seen that my toes curled in and that my posture was always hunched. This lack of spirit, freedom and joy was caused by my very strict father and apathetic mother who did not protect us from harsh discipline and fear. I recall very, very easily how shy I was at school. I was never popular. The popular girls were happy, skipped along, hung around the teachers and had a lot of friends. I was withdrawn, yes I was. I loved animals and I loved writing. I was good at writing and that is how I could express all my creativity and inner talents. I never said anything in class. I did have friends but they were always the girls who also were not popular. I only had one friend most of the time. When I was at Grammar School ( age 13-16), I was a part of a group. But only just. I just hung around them. I never said anything. I didn't think I had anything interesting to say. The other girls spoke freely, with confidence. But I had a very very quiet voice. So if I ever did begin to speak, I would have not been heard or noticed. Others would continue conversing and speak over my timid small voice. I was very easily embarrassed and remember going blushing with embarrassment a lot. I hope my openness shows you that you aren't alone in this excruciating experience. There was a particular moment in my life where I became aware of a new way of being. I had finished a 3 year nursing diploma. ( I still suffered from no confidence although I obviously spoke to patients etc). Then I got a job in a fairly big resthome/hospital. I was responsible for a team of staff and about 70 elderly people. It was so good to have a job and to suddenly be bring in money for me and my young children. I know it was a boost to my self esteem. I really felt like a somebody for once. Back then, we had very smart uniforms, epilettes, a badge and I had my long hair tied up in a French plait. For the first time in my life, at the age of about 32, I had people hanging around ME! The caregivers really liked me. I treated them kindly, helped them if I could, and didn't boss them around. There was another Registered nurse working there. I remember her telling a caregiver to go and put water on her flannel. The Maori caregiver replied strongly, "Get fucked!" It was those kind of experiences that I realised all these hardworking women really liked me. I will continue this later because I have a visitor here.

Sounds like me😂