I didn't really fully grasp this until watching the second time around. The first time I didn't find it very helpful. In reality it's quite profound. Let go of the pro-con list and the endless comparison and analysis of every feature. Let go of fear and of taking the safer, easier route. Decide who you want to be and what you want to live for, and then choose whatever will get you closer to that. And celebrate hard choices as opportunities to define yourself and your life.

"When you come upon a difficult life choice think about who you will become when you choose one or the other. Use that to inform your choice rather than the qualities of the choices themselves."

"Hard choices are hard because there are no best options." I love this line. Thank you.

This talk can be truely life changing. I now realize.why I find it so hard to choose between two option. Because i dont know how each will turn out. And fear blinds me. By making all choices equally good, I can realize what my heart really wants. And then I can create reasons to support that decision, and working on create the path, making the choice turn out to be right. No more cofusion. Thank you.

I don't want to be a drifter. I want to take charge of my life and make hard choices. Your video came JUST IN TIME. Thank you. God bless.

8 years later this TED talk is what I needed. Deep down we know, we just need to be true to ourself and confident even if it’s scary af

I watched this video 9 years ago when I was a college student, and until now it's still eye-opening for me. It reminds me that a hard choice is not a challenge to hinder us, it is a chance to define who we are. We have control over it, rather than let it control our decisions.

Not gonna lie, this was better than expected. I'm in the middle of a tough decision and this made me cry, good tears of course.

I come here and watch this video every time I am faced with a decision that could affect the course of my life. And each time I remind myself to be true to myself and the person that I am (or that I choose to be). I firmly believe that the way we choose to approach what we live really does make a difference. I am eternally grateful to have seen this video by chance all those years ago and to be able to see it again today. I would like to wish the best of luck to all those who find themselves in the position of having to make a "difficult choice". I hope you always have the strength and courage to choose what is true for yourself.

I loved the fact she mentioned how we have started evaluating life decisions according to scientific thinking. That's a real eye-opener. Decisions of life are not like length or mass that are measurable as less, more or equal. We may equate it with money but still the choices are still abstract, that's why they're hard. Simply put, hard choices are meant for you to choose what kind of life you want to "create"

This is my absolute favorite TED talk and gives me comfort before each hard choice I make. Elegant and compelling. Thank you Dr. Chang.

Another thing about drifters is that they are never truly happy. They don't know what they want and they're annoyed about other people choosing for them.

Just make a choice, then make so that it turns out to be a good one.

I couldn't have watched this video at a more apt time in my life. I'm totally lost trying to decide how to move ahead in life. This woman has extreme clarity and understanding of how a situation like I'm in, could be dealt with. Thank you!

"but it's not dictated by reasons given to us. Rather, it's supported by reasons created by us."

When it comes to lifetime decisions such us who to marry, career to choose and where to live, you have to trust your gut and feelings. You are not going to be happy if you're just rational all the time. Sometimes being right all boils down to what makes you happy.

so, when making hard choices, choose the option that leads you to become the person you wish you were, dont fall back on social pressures or personal fears. there, i saved you 14 minutes.

For me the problem is when choices impact direct other people and it s not only related to your doing

This talk is full of wisdom. In the end, we are choosing what kind of person we will be when making a hard decision. Thank you, Dr. Chang!

Every now and then I come back to listen again Ruth's words and each time I discover something new.

That was a very interesting talk. At first I thought it was going nowhere but as time went on, I understood the argument and, well, it all comes down to this: You should make your hard decisions based on who you want to become. The outcome of a hard decision is your creating the reasons to justify that choice and embracing them.

Love the talk, years later for a re-watch. I agree, either unknowingly or instinctively I made choices that aligned with my values. I write down my values and review them to see if my path is still true. Extrinsic vs intrinsic rewards can cloud the way but I realized I am most content when I choose which best aligns with my values. Years ago, with math and economics degree I had the opportunity to work on Wall Street, but I chose computer technology b/c that was my hobby as a kid. So, I chose to work at cancer hospital in technology. While I realized either choice would not necessarily be a wrong one I found my choice to be aligned best with who I am. I wish everyone much love and to enjoy your short visit in this life.

One of the best little TED Talks in existence. A hard choice doesn't have to be a BIG choice. Once we learn to handle the small hard choices, the big choices seem less intractable. Hard choices aren't hard because we are stupid, they are hard because we pay a lot of attention to the voice in our heads that tell us what we SHOULD choose. Fear of the unknown pushes us to choose what we believe is the less risky option - usually not the best choice, in the end. We assume that values are the same as scientific measurements (x is better, worse or equal to Y), they aren't. So we have to create reasons to choose one or the other based on a range of values. Don't let the world decide for you, reflect on what you can put your agency behind. Hard choices make us fundamentally who we are. Here's where I stand, "I commit to chocolate donuts!"

Oh dare you ? What you say is so beautiful that you have just revolutionised my entire future. I had to choose my studies today, and you allowed me to make that choice by myself, by the person I really am and that I ignored before. Thank you so much, love from France 💕

I came here after The philosophical Explaination of Mr. NOBODY, a movie that deeply affects my usual disposition and how contradictory choices can be meaningful too sometimes...

Dr. Chang, this talk is a your gift to the world, and I thank you for so beautifully delivering it to us. I watch this every time I need to make a difficult choice. Thank you so much.

This talk struck a chord with me. I also "drifted" into becoming into a law student; and when people asked me why I became a lawyer, I told them I was the "least uncertain" about my career path. Seeing things from the perspective of the talk gave me some insight as to how I implicitly chose the person I wanted to become. Thanks Ted!

I always regard hard choices as chances,chances of getting to know yourself better.I first rejected my mon's will of me becoming a teacher,then I accepted it eventually.But there came the crossroad,give it up or I wouldn't be able to move forward.If it wasnt for the hard choices,I would not be able to realise I never wanted to stay in one place doing the same work everyday.I wrote down every detail of the person I wanna be.If you are already the kind of person u wanna be,there wont be hard choices.I believe that its telling you to reconsider ,to think about your future again. Thank you for reading.

Might be like the 10th time I find myself watching this.

I still don’t know what choice should i make.

"If only netflix sent a dvd"... damn I feel old

The decisions we take by reasoning are simple... In complex situations, where we cannot go by reasoning, we need take decision on who we are, what we want and where my heart is.. Of all the videos I watched, this is the most enlightening...

I listened to this talk so many times. It has changed my life. Every time I listened to it, I gleaned different layers of depths and insights into decision making and into myself - what I value, what is really important to me. It helped me "crack" this person called "myself" 😊. Thank you so mucb Ruth 🙏🙏

In a nutshell: Be true to yourself, instead of conforming to societal expectations and living your own life based on what the society thinks it should be.

The amount of brilliantly useful information in this lecture is mind boggling...

This is awesome. I have struggled with hard choices big and small.... agonizing over the pros and cons of things for days and days. But this has really given me the context to tackle those choices better and more efficiently. Thank you!!!

I think the movie 'Mr.Nobody' is the best illustration of this ted talk. Or, this talk is the best conclusion of the movie.

This is the most powerful message I've heard in my entire life.

There's something I cannot make out from her sharing. In her talk, she talked about how staying true to yourself, or letting yourself to have your own standing in hard choices really makes who we truly are. But in order to state our own reasons in hard choices, we need to have the information about the choices we face. And only by asking for other people's opinions, or considering the merits between two choices do we come to acquire the information and finally conclude of which choices fit to us.

Her ideas and the way she elaborates is like ASMR to me, one of the few moments when I feel glad to be a human being who's able to understand this.

I've always been indecisive. So much I even ask what to buy, what to wear, who should i like... It's ridiculous. Maybe deep down I don't want to own up to my choices. But this video just solved years of confussion. Thank YOU!

I feel, this video title could be "Why hard choices are necessary" instead of "How to make hard choices".

Truly one of the best TED talks I have ever watched. Thank you for this perspective - It’s helpful.

My perplexity about this talk deals with finding a concrete solution to the problem. The speaker figured out in a very brilliant way what the problem is about, where the fundamental issue lies, but at the end of her speech I didn't feel like I got a new way to face hard choices. I agree with the idea that there's no way to apply quantitative comparisons to values and so we can't say that an option is better than another. I also agree with the consideration that hard choices are chances to shape ourselves as we want to be in our life. But, in my opinion, the real problem is here: what is the best choice if I want to be like THAT? So many times we know what we want from life, but we can't figure out the best path to get to it. I can listen to myself, to the emotional part of me, to understand what I really want from life, what I desire, so I know how I want to shape myself, but I don't know what tools I have to choose to obtain this shape.

I’m glad we have these ted talk as resources, they didn’t have such experts that give their opinion on what they worked for so long so easily available, i am grateful for that 🙏🏽

I love the smiles from the members of the audience near the end of the speech. ☺️

this is the first Ted Talk i’ve ever seen that’s truly rocked my world. this woman’s words shook me to my core and i’m so glad i got to hear them 😊 very profound

I love how they casually show Esther Perel sitting in the crowd :D

Thank you . Honesty from the very bottom of my heart Thank you. I needed this actually, i always find myself cought up in between things and always fearing peoples Judgment after every decision. Choosing between things just tears me from within .But! Now i know that I've to choose the thing basing on who i wanna be or who I am truly. 🌻🕊

Ruth Chang - this video was extraordinary! Thank you. I think I will listen to it another 5 times to really get my head around it. The concept of using decisions to forge who we want to be… sounds so simple, but is quite profound. I now know that I am a drifter, and allow the world to make decisions for me as a) I don’t like making decisions b) fear of failure. I will try to take more autonomy over each decision. Thank you

Never ever have a KZfaq video had better timing. Thank you Ruth (and TED), much love to you.

Best TED talk ever 🙌 Thank you very much! We’ll always need philosophers like you!

Thank you SO MUCH. I received this talk as a wonderful gift today. It has helped me.

Wow. Such a paradigm shift in thinking... That the choices we make come from the reasons we give ourselves to make a choice. And that drifters (guilty as charged) make choices or have difficulty to based on reasons outside of ourselves (fear, others' expectations, punishment/reward). I feel like I could watch this multiple times and get something new out of it.

This helped me a bit. About to graduate from a degree in psychology and I'm stuck between medicine and clinical psychology as a career. It's a decision that bothers me all the time because I am terrified of making a mistake.

Ruth Chang you are indeed a philosopher! And a great one! Thank you so much, this is a life changing speech! Beautifully and gracefully laid out!

I've always gone Science-mode on these things. Amazing! Thought evoking and insightful that she CHOSE to see hard choices this way, and shared it. I'M the one writing this Book!

Could listen to her All Day. Thank you, sincerely. I'm glad you became a philosopher.

This video reminded me of the movie "Mr. Nobody"...

That was a wonderful talk!! Absolutely loved it, thank you for sharing!

I can't belive I've waited this long to figure out what questions to ask. You answered it. Thank you. God bless you

When making hard choices: Acknowledge they are hard because there is no best alternative. They are blessings; easy choices are passively detrimental. To solve hard choices: Exercise your agency by looking within. Your stance, your voice, your values matter ultimately in tough decisions. Be proactive (owning up to choices), not reactive (a drifter succumbing to easy choices), and ensure to weigh hard choices by their potential to you rather than qualities of those choices.

This talk is underrated. It should have had at least 9 million views in 9 years!

"We are condemned to be free" - Sartre

You may consider picking the choice that will lead to more possibilities. Never close loop on yourself.

JUST DO IT! Dont let dreams be dreams. DO IT! Yesterday u said tomorrow JUST DO IT!

The wisdom in the first 1 minute 49 seconds alone is astounding! Thank you so much for this video! I really wish that I had watched this video when it was first uploaded in 2014, it would certainly have helped me to have more confidence when facing hard choices. This is something I learned through my own life experience that when faced with hard choices there will be pros and cons no matter which way you turn.

I come back to this video frequently because of how helpful it is. Thank you for the Ted Talk.

2 SENTENCE SUMMARY: Hard choice? Whole-heartedly chose from "inside" yourself and don't let societal pressures or fear of the unknown factor into your rational yet non-scientific decision.

Exactly the video I needed right now, I have a really hard time choosing between two schools and both have equal amounts of positives and negatives, so this really helps me on the way to choose :)

omg, being amazed by her analysis, expression and insight

One of the best TED talk for sure. Thank you!

Enlightening! I watch this each time I have a hard decision to make.

Another excellent TED Talk, indeed. The most difficult part of making a 'hard choice' is immediately overcome when you have a mission statement. Write one for yourself. Now.

Very helpful, was just deciding whether to leave a place or to commute and was making a reasons why not to move, while everyone around me just pushed me to save money. You are changing my life! Thank you

Basically, prioritise unconditioned on societal constraints and be who you want to be! That's exactly what I have been meaning to hear since long

I love that she applies math to decision making 😊

Very interesting and enlightening but making it no easier to make hard choices.

I honestly thank all the comments that summarized this talk up into less than a paragraph.

Excellent presentation on hard choices. I can't imagine it being presented any better. Thanks so much for the eye-opening and mind-opening information!

This is really interesting, wish I found it sooner.

This is the single best video I have ever watched on KZfaq. And I like to watch it again every now and then.

This insight upends the conventional view of decision-making as a stressful task. Chang eloquently communicated that these choices are not just about selecting between options but also defining who we are as individuals. These decision-making moments are indeed opportunities to manifest our values. It's a beautiful sentiment and a mindset I'll carry into future decisions.

Wow. Just wow. I never thought I would benefit from a TED talk as much as I did from this one. I won't be a drifter. Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏

Mr Nobody is the best film that represents the philosophy of this talk.

We create our own reasons that ultimately defines us.

amazing speacher, I also always come back when I have to face a tough decition. Specially the last part, is really spiring

This is the best Ted talk I've ever seen. Blow my mind

Oh wow I watched this just at the right time. It's important to examine and understand motives behind the choices we make. And sometimes the choice isn't hard to ourselves, but based on external factors (finances, convenience, the opinion of others) the fear outweighs the original conviction of the choice. Basically the message here is - don't make choices on these transient factors. They won't be a constant in your life, but YOU will. And you will live with your choices, always.

Betty or Lolita? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO VERONICA???

Best if watched multiple times. So many gems. Make sure you get everything she is saying.

Many years ago I read the book Smart Choices, by Hammond, Keeney, and Raiffa. It was good, but I always felt it was missing something, and this video finally showed me what it was. Thanks so very much!

I recommend listening the whole talk. I appreciate her amazing talk and philosophy. Philosophy loses its value by summarizing it.

Now I understand why I reject college: I must fight the institutionalization and systematization of human learning.

Very powerful and life changing advice that I am going to stick to (or rather have already stuck to but never knew the right words for it) - “Reflect on what you can put your agency behind, in what you can be for, and through Hard choices, become that person”. Thanks for this amazing message and tech talk 🙏😊

One of my fav tedtalks, will forever carry it with me.

Being a reason-creator or a drifter is itself a hard choice.

hmmm.. This helped me, but only because I thought about it through for a while. The core of what she was saying is good, but I feel like it was kind of diluted with things that actually detracted from the point. Someone in the comments said, "Just make a choice, then make so that it turns out to be a good one". I understand why they came to this conclusion based on this video. I think that people like this would have clearer understandings had the video beed a lot more direct. I'm gonna break it down in my own words and it might help people. For me, the important part is when she mentioned "Drifters". A drifter is someone who's aimless and subsequently doesn't no who they are. To understand who you are, it's important to be able to recognize meaning. (Look up "Jordan Peterson Meaning") Defining yourself, your goals, your principles, allows you to recognize the choices that yield the most meaning from the consequences of your decisions. That's it. I don't think this adds to what she said, it might make her point clearer though. idk. Also, keep in mind that Jordan Peterson is politically controversial, but has a great life philosophy and I'd encourage anyone to look him up as he's very important to this. I like a lot of what she had to say, "If your life were nothing but easy choices, you'd be a slave to your decisions." Have a good day! and like my comment if it helps. :)

I think this is the best "Choice" video I've ever seen. We have the ability to assign reason within ourselves to become the person we wish to through hard choices. Therefore they are not a curse but a blessing.

Excellent. I wish she gave more lectures. Reminds me of Viktor Frankl's lectures about finding meaning in ones life to make it fulfilling. Without "meaning" people drift all over and are usually unhappy.