I made my kids each other's defense attorneys - if 1 kid got in trouble and the other child defended them, the consequences would be lessened. They learned to see things from the other's point of view, make an argument, and it drew them closer together.

I used the technique that Peterson described. When my kids decided they would behave, I said. "Great I am glad you are here!" And if they did not come back, after a few minutes, I went to them, that I missed them and I hope they are ready to join soon. One time, one of my kids told me he was not ready to come out. I said OK, I hope you will be ready soon. The final time out was my child acting up, I told them that they need to go to their room until they are ready to behave and he said, I am ready now. I said OK, that's great! He thought he discovered how not to have timeouts. As result, he immediately starting behaving whenever I gave him the look. This is the transition from timeouts to "the look".

_"He's two, you can take him."_ -Jordan B. Peterson Words to live by.

Rules without relationship leads to rebellion. Relationship without rules leads to resentment. Once a while children WILL push the boundaries to explore what their selfish nature can get. But if they do it all the time, you might not have a relationship with your kid to begin with. Most of the children, their love language are quality time and touch and from time to time give them word of affirmation (if you read 7 love language, you know what i'm referring to). To discipline is to love, parents who lack discipline don't love their kids.

"Are you ready to have a good day" . Very good way of putting it.

"He's 2, you can take him" - Jordan Petereson

Minimum necessary rules. And rules need to be flexible. I remember when my oldest son was 13 and he yelled "You don't love me" at me during an argument so I took him outside, waved vaguely at the outside world and said "This is where all the people I don't love live, You're welcome back when you realize that I do love you.? and went inside and closed the door. Took less than 10 minutes.

“I’m holding my tongue and my nose simultaneously, because of all the things that are going on here that I can’t dare to talk about. God that’s a terrible way to live.” Damn JP, you cut deep into my soul here. Thank you for sharing all this knowledge, it has tremendously improved my life during the past few years.

I was watching an old Q and A from Dr. Peterson a number of years ago. Dr. Peterson got in a bind with technology and his son, Julian, came in to help him. The way Dr. Peterson looked up at him with such glowing pride and love and the way Julian patted his Dad gently on the shoulder said everything about their relationship. Dr. Peterson’s excellent relationship with his daughter Mikhaila is much more public. But for some reason, it was that moment with Julian that touched me deepest. Whatever the two of them did in raising their children, they did good.

"-Who are you to disciple the children? -... ... ... Parents." 🤣🤣

Amen to that 😂 we were loving but very strict parents, obedience and respect was most important. Today my son is 22, has a great job, out of the house, mature beyond his years and we couldn't be more proud. We've raised a wonderful human who is liked by many...job well done 😊🇿🇦

i love this. having kids, you learn so much about yourself. it's a hard thing to do to discipline your kids so that they learn some common decency and simultaneously show them that you love them no matter what.

I learnt this in my life. Now my kids who are still young are showing positive signs of love and respect to each other. Me and my siblings used to fight like cat and dog and our parents didn't know how to mould and shape us. One of my worst regrets is the way me and my siblings treated each other. I want better for my kids.

The last 30 seconds hit me hard. My mother is like this, there was always something wrong and she started fights with my dad all the time. But we were never allowed to mention what the fight was about or talk about it, she always acted like nothing happened the next day. It broke me in so many ways. My husbands stepfather was the same. So now when my husband and I disagree we sort out the problem immediately. Its nice to be in a home where you can relax and talk openly.

I recently graduated from college and I have more time in-between starting my job. I helped my mother around the house and tried to be a good daughter. I noticed that the house is much calmer if my mother has some help around the house. I wanted to help her for a while but school took up a lot of my time and was very stressful on top of that. Its amazing what a feeling of peace in the house will do. I can rest in my soul. Sounds a bit silly but thats what it feels like. It sort of spreads out to everyone in the house. It lifts everyone spirits and makes even the bad moments more bearable.

One thing my parents did when raising me that seemed to work well was to impose the importance of honesty on me. They made a deal that as long as I told them the truth, they wouldn’t get angry at me. We both held up our ends and I turned out pretty well.

Jordan Peterson: the godfather of an entire generation of civilized children

"Good parenting equals working yourself out of a job" - Jack Spirko The number of rules you have for your children should decline as time goes on, as they've learned to discipline and instill rules upon themselves.

I'm on a journey to being a better father.... Thank you Jordan!

Please clip out more about this subject!! I find it very helpful in strategizing about the future of my 1.5 year old child

Every bit of this boils down to simple kindness. When you can be kind, you can come back.

This philosophy is spot on. As a young kid I needed less rules. The environment was too restrictive. Especially the school I was on was really dogmatic and rigid. It killed my creativeness and demonized my search for boundaries and truth. Didn't know at the time off course. So I rebelled hard against all authorities.

Thanks, Dr. & Mrs. Peterson! I LOVE this one. You two are a Godsend! Happy Mothers Day! Thanks for all you do! I wouldn't be who I am without your teachings. I mean that. You've helped me (and, consequently, my family) through the darkest times of my life thus far. "Thank You" seems hardly sufficient... Thank You 💕🙏🏼🥲

Your content is an invaluable resource for parents on the journey of raising children. As someone deeply committed to nurturing young minds, I'm truly inspired by your insights. Raising children is an incredible responsibility, and it's our duty to help them grow into compassionate, honest, and patient individuals. In the words of Fred Rogers, 'The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self.' Our children learn by example, and it's our actions that mold their character. 'Patience is not the ability to wait, but how you act while you're waiting,' says Joyce Meyer. Instilling this virtue in our children is a gift that keeps on giving. Teaching honesty is equally vital. 'Honesty is a very expensive gift; don't expect it from cheap people,' warns Warren Buffett. Our role as parents is to show our children the worth of integrity. Keep sharing your invaluable wisdom, as it resonates with all of us striving to raise responsible, respectful, and kind-hearted kids.

That depiction of the moment of forgiveness was so beautiful it made me excited to forgive my kids, and I don’t have any yet!

“Do you really want to hold a grudge? Wouldn’t it be better if it was over?” -Jordan Peterson Great advice for any relationship

6:01 - "Who are you to impose your rules on your child?" "Well, I'm his parent." "But what gives you that right?" "...It isn't exactly my right, it is my responsibility." and, my favourite part: "It's not like I want to put my child on the steps...It's not pleasurable. I don't want the kid to be a squalling, wretched reprobate that everyone hates." I often tell my kids that this is not fun for me, when I have to enforce a rule. That it is for their benefit, not mine.

Wonderful distillation. Great advice! I know many parents and children will be helped by your advice. ❤🎉

Jordan is brilliant. Such a great mentor.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights and information!

Jordan Peterson, I’m sure you get this a lot but I can’t get enough of your honest, brilliant, advice. I love that you dissect every aspect and meticulously answer in a way that everyone can understand and connect. Thank you for this.

Yep I recognise the battle I had with my daughter. Minimal rules ensure things don’t get complicated. A basic set is enough. It supposed to help train discernment. You are free to explore the world and all it has to offer. But it you break things you don’t have it for tomorrow?

I grew up in what i believe to be loving family but extremely strict parents..obedience was most important to them.... they pride themselves as successful at parenting, i got a good life, independent, got higher education, traveled and lived abroad.... but as much as i love them, i don't miss them.... i was happy to be out..... and barely feel the need to be with them.... which makes me wonder how good of a job did they really do.

I'm a solo mum of twin toddlers... It has taken me many years to feel like I've evolved sufficiently to check my own blind spots in order to parent effectively without a co-parent constantly checking on me. I do hope my close friends will do this for me if I ever lose my way, and i still hope to find a co-parent down the track (althought that's a whole other ball-game letting someone else in). In the meantime, my mum has been criticising that I'm too easy going with my boys, that i let too many things go, she's more old-school than i am, wants me to set strict rules for every minutia of pragmatic life, strict times for everything etc. I wanted to do some research on softer vs. more authoritative parenting just incase I'm doing them a misservice by being more lenient, allowing their preferences to alter our schedules, but my gut feeling has been that developing a solid deep loving relationship of loving kindness and respect with my children is my best chance of shaping who they will become, rather than asserting my authority over them when they are too little to fight back... i stumbled on this video and I'm stoked that my concept of parenting is virtually identical to Jordan's. As minimal interference as required for my children to learn how to behave like decent human beings, strong, swift responses when they do misbehave and then immediate and unfaltering love and forgiveness as soon as they are ready to behave again. I put my stronger willed toddler in his cot for time out after giving him a few chances to correct his misbehaviour without my intervention and i tell him to let me know when he's calmed down and is ready to behave properly (let me change his nappy, say sorry to his brother etc) and it's truly a beautiful moment, when he's let out his steam, ridden the wave of his emotions and then lifts his arms up asking for me, and crawls gratefully back into mummy's loving arms knowing that all is forgiven and forgotten. What better way to shape good behaviour than offering all the love in the world when your child has worked through their emotions? If they stay up later ocassionally, or have a bit of screen time when I'm exhausted, I think we'll be right.

A reasonable approach. Had to share it.

I love these videos, I do wish the audio was louder but the video itself is always spectacular

Great lesson! Thank you both!

learning that alot of what we've been taught thoughout my life is misguided, things such as, men should not cry, any form of violence is wrong, aggressive children should be on drugs and countless other things thanks to peterson, some other Dr's and other figures, thank you Jordan you've really helping me making sense of a world gone mad, discovering you has cheered me up some but more so given me some hope over the past month since i've been watching your channels, also you had me in stitches throughout this, I can her the love you have for you children and the people of the earth.

Love you Dr. Peterson! We only counted to 3, they always waited until the end. Instead of us having to sit worry them in time out- we put their favorite thing in time out- cowboy boots, toy, chair...

This is great. I apply the minimum effective dose rule to all other areas of my life and have not even considered doing it to my discipline/parenting approach.

I LOVE the Petersons. All of them! They have been and still are doing great things in our sin sick world!

Thanks for this. I remember all this from other times but i fear ive forgotten some. We've been teaching our little girl to read(from the book you suggested), she really gets a kick out of knowing, but boy does she wrestle with learning. Not the actual learning itself just sort of a fear of trying because when she does try shes as sharp as a razor.

Seeing the relationship he has with his children I am 100% inclined to take his word about raising kids. He makes me excited to be a future father, but I'm still long ways to go to create a stable environment for my future lil buggers

Dear God, in describing his son he just described, EXACTLY, my daughter. Thank God there's hope at the end of this. And props to me for stumbling into apparently the correct way to handle her psychotic tantrums. 🤯

The understanding I used was that there is X amount of capital toward having my kids do what I say. Once that is gone, the kids will not obey/respect what I say. So whenever a situation came up - I weighed out whether to use some of that capital knowing it that it was limited.

A yt channel I love watching is Joseph Carter the mink man. He takes his children on the hunt, shows them the meaning of life and death, talks to them like a little adult, he is very respectful to them. They are going to grow up as very mentally strong human beings.

"HOW TO BE A PERSON YOU ACTUALLY LIKE BEFORE BRINGING KIDS INTO THE UNIVERSE"

My mother used to have temper tantrums, completely out of control, sometimes in public to. It's true, that's something that will scar you for life as a kid. I used to resent my mother for it but I have let it go some years ago. Now I have kids of my own, still toddlers, but I have learnt to control my own temperament, or I can recognize fairly quickly and adjust. I consider raising kids part of higher purpose so I won't let them succumb to this. Keep your head level and your own (negative) emotions in check with them, it's easy to unwillingly condition them to undesirable behavior if you haven't sorted yourself out.

That sibling rule will be one of my top rules. I always hated mean siblings portrayed in tv shows or movies. I feel like your sibling is the person you should show the utmost kindness to. I have 3 older sisters so I get it - we see each other’s ugly side and know way too much about one another so can hurt each other the most.

I💙💜🩵🙏🏽🦋you! Thank you Dr. Peterson! I listen, I learn, I grow! TY!

Thanks!

It would really be great if there was a link to the full in the description.

So thankful for this man's wisdom and insight.

As a young mama parenting more traditionally than most parents today, this is so refreshing!!!

JP is such a blessing, I could listen to him speak on just about any subject. So much wisdom packed into a single man, and he's obviously allowing the Holy Spirit to guide him towards aiding in the betterment of modern society.

I did the countdown, too. And i would start at the number that would give them time to perform. If he or she wasn't making progress by 3 or 2, i didn't go down to zero. It works with boys and girls who aren't mine, too, lol. The PE class was off in the bushes and trees when i joined a few minutes late, rather than doing warmups. FIVE! FOUR! THREE! oh boy were they scrambling to get back where they were supposed to be!

The goal should be to raise independant adults who will not be gullible and led down moronic paths.

I got a bit emotional by watching Jordan relive his specific father and child moments, he clearly got somewhat happy by remembering and you can see he loves his kids.

Thanks

I like this, great advice!

I have no kids, still watching this. Ive read the rule about "never let your kids do anything that makes you dislike them" oh boy, my niece is a perfect example as to why this is important. She is turning 7 and she really isn't fun to be around. My nephew(different parents) on the other hand who is 2,5 is such a delightful kid to be around, super cute. However I always feel a little bit bad about it because I do know that my niece* gets less nice/fun things because of the difference in behavior. *she has been diagnosed with ODD and autism, trying to correct her behavior she just stone-walls. It is exhausting trying to navigate her behavior, I am weary for her future, but as an aunt I can't influence her that much (not like she listens to me anyway 😂)

With my son it was/is pretty simple. What I say goes, don't be a butthole, do the things you should and don't do the things you shouldn't. He's 10 now and it's a little more complicated obviously. As a full time single dad since he was a baby it was really important and still is. He is and always has been an amazing kid. Right now we talk about his "job" and how important it is. His "job" is to be a kid. A good kid to put it short. Just like it's my "job" to be a good dad. He takes it pretty seriously and he expects me to hold up to my end of the bargain too lol.

Loved this particular the comment if you both agree on something what's the chances you are both crazy absolute excellent rational throughout thank you fine sir this helped

They have to understand the game of adults and how to work with it but to release that battle as much as possible, good hearing cheers

You can do that because you are the responsible parent. Great insights ❤

My son was asked by his father in law: How did you turn out so well? My son replied, "Mom did not have a lot of rules, we were left to our own devices, but when we did something wrong she came down like ton of bricks" My son is now a Vice President of a company.

Would love advice on teenagers.

the rules in my house growing up were pretty minimal; 1. if we call you home, you come home. 2. violence between siblings or toward parent will be punished severely, spanking, solitude (locked in your room without any entertainment like games or tv), and you WILL apologize to whomever you wronged. 3. in our own judgement, if a situation became too dangerous we leave by any means necessary (physically walk out, call parents for a pickup, or if its a scenario like we are punched by a bully then we defend ourselves and get away ASAP)

Thank god for this man.

I’m glad we’re going in the right direction with our son & daughter

I've just finished Exodus ( Naming) which I found extremely valuable and for which I can't find words to express the gratitude and love I feel for what you, all of you have done there. But then, I found Dragons Monsters and Men on Daily Wire and it's right on time because the teachers are having a strike and watching Dragons Monsters and Men is what I'm going to do with my two boys. By the way, thank you for the lecture you held in România, me, my wife, my two boys ( 12 and 15 years old) and some of my friends were there. 🙏🤝

His wife is so respectful, she had opportunities to interrupt him while he was speaking to share something but she decided to let him talk all he wanted without one interruption because the question was for him and she saw no necessity to add anything else. She is so respectful and professional

Such amazing advice from the "dangerous radical"...

A family friend had great success with his children by having them write sentences as punishment. We're confident it contributed to all his children going to college.

Man, I love Peterson.

Yeah, my wife and I have no clue what we're doing, guess we'll find out how we did in about 16 years... When our toddler throws a tantrum, we've noticed that, unlike an adult, he's not mad at us, not really, he's mad at what's happening, which is totally fair when this whole life thing is new to you. So what we do, is swallow our anger and frustration, and keep our cool, and pretend we're on his side. We'll take him to his room and hold onto him as he struggles to leave. Saying things like, it's ok, we understand, deep breaths, you got this. And after awhile, we can legit see him trying to get a hold of himself, and as he actually calms down and stops, and becomes capable of speech again, we tell him good job, emotions can be tough but you wrangled them real good, how do you feel now? And usually we can talk about the situation briefly, and then he's happy as a clam and we move on. It is real hard on us though, wish I knew how long I could expect this phase to last.

This is Gold

I love listening to him Plus he is funny 😂

3 rules that can run a healthy home and or classroom. We take care of ourselves. Our stuff. And each other.

I use the 10 second count down on mine. And the youngest will test what the minimum level of compliance is. I'll say 5, he'll stare me down. I'll say 4 he'll make a slight change towards compliance and so on. Faster tempo was the cure for that.

My whole young parental life I was resentful of being the disciplinary instead of my husband. Now, after our divorce (we were young and stupid) I'm thankful for it. Apparently him and his GF bought an extra mirror for the hallway so the boys don't fight over the bathroom in the morning. When I heard this I thought to myself "can't relate." We three share ONE bathroom. We discuss the morning rotation each night before bed in case any adjustments need to be made. The schedule is LAW and bickering isn't allowed. We are a unit with a common goal. I also respectfully spoke to the ex about that being total BS. They KNOW how to act. Basically, I ratted the boys out. I really think discipline as a child helps educate the parent on what works for the individual child as well as the unit like Dr. Peterson mentioned. Teenagers are rough but you at least need a foundation by then. That includes being viewed as an authority figure as well. When I was a little girl my dad compared it to raising a puppy. A well trained puppy makes a happy dog that you can bring places and do things with. My eldest and I now have excellent communication. My ex was upset that I was the first to find out about the GF. Because I was the discipline. We have a foundation of respect. We are functional enough to engage in conversation now. My biggest concern is them thinking it's acceptable to act up at their father's. By act up I mean things like fighting of course. They're honors students, generally respectful, and don't get into trouble.

Perhaps it's a good idea to get married for real. Makes sense for having children.

Tour around the US telling other people how to do it- thanks Jordan!

We could never tolerate lying or cruelty, so I guess those were the basic rules for our children. The other aspect though was that there was always the possibility to move forward from any disagreement or wrong doing, through acknowledgement, understanding and forgiveness. Mistakes are part of the learning process.

So when do we start the time out technique? At what age that is considered affective and without being too strict or abusing their childhood?

Where is this full interview?

Kids that don't eat garbage processed addictive food are much more well behaved aswell

"Hunt Gather Parent" books by michaeleen doucleff!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my goodness i hope someone sees this and reads it, that's all you need

How's this working these day's? Glad I got a dose of this! Not what I thought, I always wonder what would have happened if I found a nice english speaking community within the past who had better evolved science and didn't need to have fights because they kept life and networking simple to keep social issue's at a minimum! I guess it depends where you stay and somthing's are not about exuasted resources because some people are not good at consuming! Did anyone get somthing there? Thier's a win! Need the shirt tomorrow? You also got me without! Where to stay safe?

I am the mother of two children who are now over 40. We made a lot of mistakes but and I did scream too much. I never expected to be a full time stay at home mom and then a homeschooling mom. I had no good examples of parents. But my husband said that was better than ice coldness since it was over soon. Anyway several things I did right IMHO. First if our son was flailing or attempting to take on his father. (kid 2 yo Father 6'4") My husband would hold him in a gentle bear hug until he could calm down. Although it was somewhat hilarious to see my husband holding him away with a hand on our son's head as he windmilled his arms. We did not make our kids say they were sorry. And if they said it we asked what they were sorry for. I also learned that for the most part mediating in there fights was a useless endeavor. We told them it was their job to get along. If they were squabbling, we made them separate until they were ready to get along. I never know what one of them did to provoke the other so unless there was imminent danger, blood or disfigurement, I would tell them to separate until they got along. All the toys belong to me so if they were fighting over one of my toys, I took it away. Once I sent them to their beds. At this point we had a two bedroom house and they shared a room with bunk beds, so I couldn't send them to their rooms. A little later I peeked in and they were holding hands. The other important do not make rules based on your opinions. For example do not forbid your child to wear red because you don't like it. Unless there is a moral, ethical, safety, illegal reason, don't make a rule.

If you don't forgive someone's genuine apology, it means you aren't a reasonable person.

Can you please do a series on daily wire about rising daughters or kids please!

Oh, to be a man of virtue, With compassion in his soul, To live a life of honor, And to make his heart his goal. To treat his fellow man with kindness, And to love his neighbor true, To be a friend to all who need him, And to help them see it through. For virtue is the key to happiness, And compassion is its guide, To live a life of love and kindness, And to never leave one's side. So let us strive to live with virtue, And to treat each other well, For in the end, it is our kindness, That will make our story tell. And when the final day has come, And we look back on our life, May we be proud of all we've done, And the love we shared in strife. For there is no greater joy in life, Than to be a man of virtue true, To live a life of love and kindness, And to make our hearts anew. Dedicated to jordan and t Campbell mbt

The best discipline instrument according to Mama, was the "Chancla" 😂😂 👡 Thanks Dr. Peterson for your words.

I personally think, a parent should lead by example how they want their kids to be like, when you give rules they will break them. I have seen it so many times, but when you act a certain way. You set an example to them. I stand to be corrected.

6:47 “I don’t want the kid to be a squalling wretched reprobate”😂😂. That has to be one of the best JBP quotes ever. Need to tell some of my family members with badly behaved kids that one.

I'm going to bookmark this and listen to a few times a week. So quotable lol

A mom I knew had a chair set at the bottom of the attic stairs: anyone misbehaved and you’d sit in that chair looking up those steps. Nobody misbehaved in that house 😂

You can also think about it this way, when it comes to why you should discipline your children. Someone will correct their bad behaviors. That is inevitable. Who will do it is now the choice before you. If you won't correct their misbehavior, society will, and it will be far more harsh in the ways that the correction takes place. It is better that it be you, the parents who have far more love and understanding to give that child than anyone else is likely to offer. Versus, some stranger, law enforcement officer, teacher, babysitter, etc. So, choice wisely on who will sculpt and mold your children into fuctioning adults. You can avoid a lot of pain and misery for your children in their lifetime, if you would just love them enough to correct their bad behaviors.

It depends on the child and the parents really. If you were an unruly child yourself, you will probably have unruly kids. If that is the case, you are in for a lot of yelling. If you have always been well-behaved, your kid will almost certainly be well-behaved. This might seem like ez-mode but you can make the mistake of ignoring them because they aren't causing trouble. They still need a lot of attention and love.