In the Neurotypical world I was drowning. I was only 10 years old. When fortunately someone threw me a life preserver in the form of a shovel. I'm 66 years old today. I've been working for 56 years I was a single father who raised two children on his own without a dime child support. I had full custody when I was 24 years old, my son was 11 months old my daughter was two. When I retired from my first job 32 years, my boss at my retirement said I wasn't an employee I was a machine he could not of described me better than if he had a room full of psychiatrists who gave their prognosis. I could only see myself through the mirror of the Neurotypical. This is where I was given the parasite of shame that lives within I was only little boy, but the whole world of neurotypicals said I wasn't good enough so I rejected myself my whole life, because the way I was born. Now I'm beginning to see myself through the mirror of a non-Neurotypical. Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the change that we seek. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. Change does not roll in on wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man cannot ride you unless your back is bent.

YES!!! This whole time--through every abandoned obsession, every change in direction, and every embarrassing mistake--we have been working on the project of us. I'm learning that we are deeply analytical people who are highly sensitive to this overwhelming human experience, often to the point of complete paralysis. But that is also our strength. Because in a world full of people who don't overthink or over-question or change their mind enough, WE ARE NEEDED! And after years of this searching and experimenting and reflection we have now developed a whole host of innovative, paradigm shifting ideas...just like the one you've expressed in this video (and so many of your others). I am slowly working my way through your channel and it's shocking how much we have in common. You truly feel like a kindred spirit. But I am very new to this ADHD journey so maybe we're all like this?! I certainly hope so. Great things take time. You are a great thing, not in spite of your years lost in the confusion and perpetual shame of undiagnosed ADHD, but because of them! And this channel is a great thing because you are using your experience to bring clarity and self-acceptance to people like you and me who so desperately need it. PLEASE keep making these videos...when you feel inspired...and at your own pace of course 😂. They are so incredibly necessary. Thank you for sharing!

This is one of the best ADHD reframing videos I have seen on KZfaq. I am 32, and was diagnosed in my late twenties with ADHD... it certainly explained a lot of my life! Anyways, I've always been very critical of this industrial machine and have always felt like humans act like cogs - I've never agreed with it, but despite seeing it for what it is, I have internalised so much of it as... yup, you guessed it, shame! I've done a bizzilion strange things with my life so far. To the outside world it must look like there is no continuity to my life path. I've always just done my own thing and yet I get bothered by the internalised 'cog' mentality of failing because I don't just fit like everyone else does, and I guess because I haven't stuck with any one thing, ever. But I've been learning to see my past as an experiment - over the course of my life, I have been learning what I like, what I don't like, what I'm good at and what I'm not by pushing my boundaries in all these different directions. I'm going to hang a sign above my desk, as a sort of rebellion against 'positive success' inspirational quotes. I will write the sign to say "Reach for failure."

Thank you for reminding me that the project I am working on is me.

Marta, Thank you for your videos. After becoming aware of ADHS and listening to Dr Amen and then the wellknown specialist Dr.Russels , I came across your channel . I wept listening to your video about the six executive function strategies ....! It is so g o o d to listen to a person who studied that ADHS in herself/ himself. 💐

I really appreciate the unique way you are framing our experience. This is very healing, definitely addresses source of shame and better self talk. Ty Marta!

I have quite a lot of projects which I have set aside, often for long periods of time. I'm comfortable with that, as I know that often the time I spend "in fallow" on a project always works out well for me AND the project - or lets me see that I'm really not interested, anyway. I am amazed by the people who see "unfinished" and think, "she abandoned it. She can't finish anything." Plenty of projects just take a long time, and that's OK. But it's easy to absorb the hateful comments of people who wouldn't ever attempt something so large.

Love this video, especially the comments about 'cogs'. Diagnosed 5 years ago, now age 58, last kids nearly out of Uni & thinking about a career 🙄

Thank you so much for this Marta! I'm going through a bit of a rough patch (months) with school, my family, and everything else going on currently... I've been feeling a lot of shame.

Thank you for answering my questions! I love how you ground this historically, culturally, and economically. One extension: sometimes our prototypes end up being part of someone else's journey! Our cutting-room floor can be like a pile of beautiful fabric scraps for talented quilters to use. Entrepreneurs pass on their projects all the time.

You have really organized your thoughts and feelings well. Risk-taking at any level is tough for most of us (ADHD or not). And accepting it as part of a process without letting it totally stop or discourage you is very very important. A successful artist once said to a group of us (in a class)--I have at least 100 failures for every painting that satisfies me. I keep that in mind as the poetry rejections roll in. Hoping all success for Micah (and you) in your various "entrepreneurial" adventures.

Totally love your channel - fellow Female ADHD’R here !

Part 1- When I was 50 yrs when I found out I was dyslexic. 59 yrs old when I found out I had ADHD. 60 when my ADHD dam burst open. I have lost everything. I have had to start my life over with nothing but an air mattress in an empty duplex. After becoming a widow and losing my home. I look life differently. When things do not go right my brain just just see’s the positive things.

Thank you Martha, hoping for more wisdom from you! Kind regards from Lise, just diagnosed 61 years, Norway

Great video Marta! Thank you for sharing on this important topic! Way to go passing 100! Keep it up! ❤

SOUNDS fantastic. I desperately want to get there! I have head of these ideas before. But been unable to 'fake IT till you make it'! So how and where to start? What are the baby steps? Do you have a list of questions to ask myself? A metode? A book? A reference? Or might I dare dream of relevant links? The kindest regards from a - very tired - guild ridden.

This is FABULOUS!!!

Part 2- I have never liked or used the word when it come to me or others. Things fail People do not. Some people give up without knowing they have the tools inside them to get up and keep trying to put in the work. Things that do not work out is successful when you learn what went wrong or it does not fit you.

You are so badass.

Marta--I just sent a comment to you but this system says it comes from Isaac Bower not me!! How very strange... Anne

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