Several things I say, “are you angry with me for something? Teasing has roots of anger

I always get people mocking my quietness and it really hurts. Usually I freeze and totally ignore it but sometimes I get really mad and give a sarcastic reply which surprises them. It makes me feel good but then I regret it as they know they’ve got to me. I like the idea of this kind of response instead, it’s drawing attention to their behaviour and calling it out but in a subtle way.

It’s common where I work to have someone come up and try to push my buttons in a joking way. Most of the time, I’ll just play into their joking, just as you mentioned, in a way that is kind of a bonding experience. We all do it to each other, and there is no malignant intent. But every once in a great while, I’ve had situations where I was either having a frustrating day, or I was extremely focused on work, only to have someone come along and harp on the same joke that we all laughed about earlier. However, after the Nth time, this old joke has lost its charm, or you just simply don’t have the time, the patience, or the inclination to play along with that clueless coworker that doesn’t know when to quit & cannot read your body language. So I’ll make it REAL clear for them. I’ll drop what I’m doing, spin around to face them squarely, let out a heavy sigh, and just stare at them intently, as if to say, “WTF?! Really?!!”. But I never utter a single word. I don’t have to. The body language says it all. It’s very effective. I’ve actually seen people stumble backwards after giving them that look. But I only use that as a last resort, I’m not in the habit of trying to make someone feel bad. And if I do have to resort to something like this, I usually follow up with that person later on with the usual banter or small talk, just to send the message that I’m not mad at them or anything like that.

LOVE this! Would Love more content on people who are passive aggressive bullies. It’s one thing to deal With jerks that you don’t have to live with, but no one teaches you how to address super toxic, manipulative, power tripping, passive aggressive people that marry into the family and just love to create drama and chaos. Like a horrible sister in law let’s say 😂

I had a friend that said in front of me several times " I feel sorry for my single friends...I am single by choice and I would just ignore the comment. One day I replied" I feel sorry for my friends who are married!" . She never said it again!

I have experienced this with passive-aggressive leaders who like to hit people with "zingers" to demean, humiliate, and shame people under the guise of "teasing, joking, or kidding."

One thing I've found useful is to look them in the eye and say with absolute calm sincerity, "Thank you for sharing," and walk away. There is NOTHING they can say to accuse you of counter-bullying them, but if you can keep it up, they'll find you not to be a reactive target they can enjoy picking on after a while.

This method is amazing! As a kid I remember my dear mum telling me to "just ignore them". I does sound virtuous but I was basically putting a target on my back and it just keep happening. Through my own actions just about all environments in my life now are toxic people free. After hearing this in a previous podcast by Dr Aziz I've been thinking back to past situations in my life when this would have been very useful. I've written the new dialogue with this method. I've found it quite therapeutic!

Great advice. What I have experienced in the past is the, "Drive by mock, or Insult." These people seem to be very skilled at what they do and often leave before you can even respond to them. I'm sure there are ways to address this but they make it as difficult as possible to be civil.

Phenomenal!

Absolute GEM most mature advice.

Thats a great approach. also " are you feeling less than ? thats why you feel compelled to insult me. You really are a small person arent you ? . Boom 🔥🔥

I love Dr Aziz!

Thank you this is awesome ❤

Great advice, Aziz 🤙🏻

Thk u...😊

All this sense of the false self versus the better authentic self always reminds me of Danny Zucko from the film "Grease". It's good to observe the whole dynamic of the storyline.

I get mocked, one upped, bullied alot my sister loves treating me like shit my father does the same thing always hear you're paranoid or just imagining things or you're delusional or crazy or why do you take things so seriously?

When you become truly confident and know who you are, you'll laugh along with them.

Simple!! I gaslight them 😂😆. The other day these 3 guys at work were huddled up mocking me indirectly from a distance, so I rolled up my sleeve and flexed my biceps (which are getting bigger due to working hard) and they got quiet and it pisses them off😅😂! They got the message!!

Any suggestions on recognizing and addressing micro aggressions?

My hostel manager always makes us uncomfortable by frequently visiting girls rooms and staring with his friends while we(girls) are roaming around our hostel. Please tell me any solution

👍🏽🙏

I get a lot of hostility from people just by showing up. It can be people at work not wanting to work with me or even communicate or interact with me, and if I have to ask them sbout something they get pissy annoyed and curt. Other times, every time I had to meet one of my daughter's teachers they'd be excited to talk to me on the phone but then in person would be like "OH!" and then take on a mean condescending tone. Over time, even my daughter began disrespecting me because everyone was running me down. Even when I go to a doctor or to the pharmacy people are friendly, open and cordial to others, but will not want to have to treat me, look at me or even talk to me. I will watch them have to visibly prepare themselves just to talk to me. It is so bad that I go out as little as possible and often think about dying because this is no way to live.

What about when you’re out in public by yourself and two people talking (who you don’t know) make snide comments that are pretty clearly (but not explicitly) directed at you? Is sucking it in always best? Is there any other way to reply that wouldn’t look aggressive?

I have a right to be e! I just paid for premium, now youre blocking me? The only time I respond is defending myself. If I dont I feel like i'm walking away with my tail between my legs. I'm a punk if i dont defend myself!!!!!

Dose them with Lucy and slip on a Scream mask👺

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