HOW TO STOP HATING YOURSELF | Overcome Self-Shame

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HOW TO STOP HATING YOURSELF | Overcome Self-Shame | Wu Wei Wisdom

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2 жыл бұрын

Learn why you mistreat yourself and how to overcome self-shame and self-hatred. 👉 WORK WITH DAVID: www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies...
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☯️ WU WEI WISDOM LIFE LESSONS EPISODE # 176
Do you constantly criticise and harshly judge yourself?
It's like you can ALWAYS find fault and are never happy with who you are or anything you do.
Often, you can make things worse by neglecting your own needs and self-care as a form of self-punishment.
In this teaching, you’ll discover why you are so hard on yourself, how your childhood experiences are involved, and how you can move from a place of SELF-SHAME to SELF-LOVE!
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Other related teachings that will help you:
▶️ The Childhood Vow • THE CHILDHOOD VOW | Th...
▶️ The Emotional Pendulum: Your Mood Swings Explained • THE EMOTIONAL PENDULUM...
▶️ How to Fully Believe In Yourself • HOW TO FULLY BELIEVE I...
▶️ Reparenting Your Inner Child (Part 1) • REPARENTING YOUR INNER... (Part 2) • REPARENTING YOUR INNER...
▶️ Why Do I Seek Approval & Validation From Others? The Needy Inner Child • WHY DO I SEEK APPROVAL...
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🌱 ABOUT US & OUR SHOW
Meet Wu Wei Wisdom co-founders David James Lees (emotional and spiritual health teacher and Taoist monk) and Alexandra Lees (integrative health coach and feng shui designer).
David and Alex's work uniquely applies ancient Eastern wisdom and emotional health practices to modern-day life to create a powerful new paradigm for authentic and abundant living.
Each week, David and Alex discuss your life challenges and offer inspirational ideas and practical tips to help you find balance, harmony and flow (‘wu wei’) in all aspects of your life.
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Disclaimer: This video and any associated advice and comments shared are not a substitute for professional therapy, mental health care, crisis support, medical advice, doctor diagnosis, or professional healthcare treatment. Our videos, podcasts and other website articles and social media posts provide general information for educational purposes only - they are offered as suggestions for you and your professional therapist or healthcare advisor to consider and research.
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#WuWeiWisdom #DavidJamesLees #GoldenThreadProcess #EmotionalHealth #InnerChild #InnerChildWork #InnerChildHealing #HealthAndWellness

Пікірлер: 53

@WuWeiWisdom 2 жыл бұрын

VIDEOS TO WATCH NEXT! 👉👉 ▶ The Childhood Vow kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bJh1mKaTrbyYj2Q.html ▶ The Emotional Pendulum: Your Mood Swings Explained kzfaq.info/get/bejne/rbVzZqaY0tjLg4k.html ▶ How to Fully Believe In Yourself kzfaq.info/get/bejne/Z8BiodmlyrvHYJs.html ▶ Reparenting Your Inner Child (Part 1) kzfaq.info/get/bejne/idSUiteT0bzKYok.html (Part 2) kzfaq.info/get/bejne/eL-Fq6SCvtbXe5s.html ▶ Why Do I Seek Approval & Validation From Others? The Needy Inner Child kzfaq.info/get/bejne/q6dzmqx7rNiwgJs.html ~~~ ❓ Did you enjoy this video? Post your comments and questions below - we'd LOVE to hear from you! 🌱 Want to work one-to-one with David? ➜ www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies-for-body-mind/ 🌱 Join our private Facebook Community Support Group ➜ facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/ 🌱 Sign up to receive a RELAXING GUIDED MEDITATION GIFT, plus our weekly newsletter + offers via email ➜ www.wuweiwisdom.com/signup/

@jewlzn7130 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for these teachings. I became increasingly severely depressed in 2020 and I found your channel. The teachings and work that you have motivated me to look into my childhood trauma and to seek therapy. The most important thing I learned from this valuable teachings is that I have value, I have worth. I grew up in a home where I was heavily criticized and compared to my siblings and made to feel inferior to them. It was never an environment of love and understanding more criticizing and demeaning and expect perfectionism. I am currently in therapy for this as it affected me severely. I never allow myself to forget that my value and worth are inherent. I dont have to get it from anyone else or from being in any particular role. I just have worth. What an important lesson that is. Thank you

@normanorma8505 2 жыл бұрын

I've been on my recovery journey almost 30 yrs and i find yere videos the best on KZfaq and i follow a lotttttttt 🙏 so insightful and helpful ye are a fantastic team thank ye for helping me see how i still struggle with red feeling s and my hurt and scared inner child ❤️❤️🙏🙏

@michaelsager5688 2 жыл бұрын

Been listening for nearly a year and basically hit the play button press the thumbs up and strap in! Always the truth and nothing but the truth. 😊

@shilarod1499 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so so much for this teaching! I am 52 years old and your teaching have helped me tremendously with my mental issues due to self criticism . I still criticise myself constantly for my physical problems! If I get sick I constantly tell my self why you weren’t careful enough? If I get back ache I blame myself once again for doing what I wasn’t supposed to do ! I am Either living in prison to stay safe and physically weak or constant criticism for causing physical discomfort . I understand comparing and judging is wrong in your teaching yet I haven’t met anyone like me even people with much more serious health issues. CCJ 😢

@lindasherman3998 Жыл бұрын

This is one the must be listened to multiple times.

@dominikaroszkowska2289 2 жыл бұрын

Very good video! Thank you.

@jdt8983 Жыл бұрын

I will be reviewing this as the 1st round listening made a dent but I think listening more than once will give the greatest result

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

Hello TAVG, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,500 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@jdt8983 Жыл бұрын

@@WuWeiWisdom TAVG doesn't really roll off the tongue so well, but I'll consider it as a nickname anyways. Thanks for the invite

@ARA-ee9yr 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this 🙏🏼 I feel at ease listening to this conversation. It‘s reliving to me that the more I focus on myself, the easier it gets to detect what I have been believing about myself. When I go through this processing, I feel better. Emotions have always been a tricky topic for me. This explains well why I‘ve been feeling that. Now I know why :) 🌟

@Selfcorrectionisdirection Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

You're most welcome. Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@gartenbaum8609 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!!!

@sharonconroy4057 2 жыл бұрын

Oh I get it now! Thank you 🙏

@selenefee7801 2 жыл бұрын

Really powerful. Thank you both

@joy7592 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!

@RinAsami1 Жыл бұрын

This is one of the best videos! It's extremely helpful!

@Lichfeldian--Suttonian 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you thousands!

@MonicaMoolman-rh7ob 10 ай бұрын

I am worried about my no feelings I find it so hard to pray to follow through with the things I need to do and have decided to do I don't know how to move forward at 17 I was forced to marry a man I did not like at all stayed for 28 yrs was beaten was told I was the devil in front of my children I am now 68 and have never been happy I've lived for nothing even tried a few times to take my life but did not succeed I've watched a few of your things and that's why I'm still alive

@WuWeiWisdom 10 ай бұрын

Hello Monica, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. It seems like you have great determination, well done! Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Please check out our next LIVE online event. More details here: bit.ly/GTP-Live-Dec-2023. Kind regards, David.

@janorquay Жыл бұрын

thankyou for this video David and Alex. Particularly over the past 6 months I have been struggling with excessive alcohol consumption in response to various emotions I am trying to avoid. I like your message here whereas alot of other material on stopping self-criticism/hatred/shame etc instructs to "love yourself as you are perfect as you are" which to me seems completely unhelpful. I appreciate the level headedness and compassion you both demonstrate and the "interviewer" format you did here Alexandra. Kind regards and love to you both, I am thankful for your mission. James.

@sylviegodin4091 8 ай бұрын

The hard part is when people don’t seem to fit in, don’t have a wide circle of friends or don’t have that exciting life or promotion yet see others having succeeding in these areas, they associate this as why not me? What is wrong with me? There is a difference between how one sees themselves and the reflection of society as one is not as successful as the other. Question your belief around success, lite’s fairness and perception of one’s struggles?

@WuWeiWisdom 8 ай бұрын

Hello Sylvie, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@samramasood870 2 жыл бұрын

I need to book an appointment with you

@MichaelvonLange 10 ай бұрын

Bedankt

@WuWeiWisdom 10 ай бұрын

Hello Michael, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Thank you for your kind donation; the funds will go towards our new studio. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Please check out our next LIVE online event. More details here: bit.ly/GTP-Live-Dec-2023. Kind regards, David.

@user-yw1tj6qt6m 7 ай бұрын

Thank you for this valuable teaching although it was very painful to do the golden thread. Is it possible to believe your not good enough can’t cope and are unworthy at the same time. I made several bad mistakes but like you say, I survived the unthinkable. I was badly abused as a child and have accepted the consequences of my actions. I live alone with my elderly mother and have rlf’s often. I do love my Ic though and am working hard to give her the unconditional love I never had. Thank you for teaching me how to love myself again. I am good enough and worthy and valuable ❤

@WuWeiWisdom 7 ай бұрын

Hello, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@clare8994 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you … this has made me tearful as it’s bringing up so much from my past. I have so much to process and forgive myself for but at the same time I e having a VERY challenging time in the present. Serious health concerns leading to loss of lifestyle, loss of job, loss of income. Living alone since my daughter moved out a year ago and barely functioning. I am in overwhelm trying to just get through the days. Any help or advice for me, please?

@LissaFaith 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Clare, don't ever feel alone. You aren't, so many people feel the same they just don't admit it. Please join the Facebook community. It is a lovely group who help and heal each other. Everything takes time, it is not an overnight thing but awareness and compassion to yourself is a must. Feel free to reach out to me and the link to the FB group is below facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/?ref=share Remember you are not alone and you are a beautiful soul xx

@clare8994 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Hope for Peace what a kind and gentle reply. I’m trying to be kinder to myself and not get sabotaged by my IC .. always catastrophising. Bit it’s hard! I am in the FB group but have never posted anything. Maybe it’s time I did reach out for support. Thanks for sharing the link and many blessings to you.

@TenTenJ 2 жыл бұрын

David, you know very well the reason a child instinctually decides to forever fault themselves and demean themselves. It is a SURVIVAL reaction, in their undeveloped mind, they aim to minimize themselves low enough, small enough to not be a threat to a threatening environment, world or tribe within which it resided. This becomes the safe way to live. This becomes part of their identity. I appreciate a calmer approach in this video than others. Coaxing or yelling at someone to give them self-awareness about this psychologically only goes so far. Or guilting them for not creating the right emotions is not constructive either. What is required is for the individual to start seeing their world and themselves differently, to grow a new identity. But the truth is that once a new pressure arises that requires themselves to be confident, to think or behave differently, it will feel enormously risky and unsafe. How do you make someone think or act courageously on their own behalf? And to build a new paradigm. That is the approach you should take. I love your channel and most of your content, but you come down really hard or harshly. People are okay criticizing themselves but I don’t think they are very receptive when it comes from the outside.

@ARA-ee9yr 2 жыл бұрын

I understand your point of view. I think the important point is that the child chooses to blame themselves. They chose this at a very young age & have been operating that way ever since. Now that one is an adult, there is a choice to choose differently. It was survival, but now you’re realizing that there’s another way of dealing with this . That’s my take on it :)

@TenTenJ 2 жыл бұрын

@@ARA-ee9yr I’m sorry if I belabor the point. Yes, we can realize it, but I don’t believe awareness is enough, at least for some. As I said, someone who does this to themselves, their psychology is wrapped around it. it does not feel safe thinking otherwise. This is the reason this problem is mostly intractable. To ask someone to not feel or think this way is like telling someone with OCD to just stop worrying about door not being locked. They are not going to be okay with checking the lock just once and walking away, even if they know why they feel insecure. It will feel unnatural or wrong to not ensure the lock for themselves. This is a different problem. But it’s the same kind of thing because it is not something that changes deeply just by being aware of it. It’s like asking a nervous ninny to be comfortable sky diving.

@WuWeiWisdom 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. As you will appreciate, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on personal issues without full knowledge, history and background. Therefore I can only comment in general terms. The foundational teachings of the Wu Wei Wisdom model are that you are the creator of your emotions, not the victim of them. You sincerely choose the way of truth, honesty and integrity (SHEN). You are accountable for what you believe and why you believe it. Therefore, I’m afraid I have to disagree that criticising yourself is OK; this forms part of the CCJ (criticising, comparing and being judgemental) teaching. We have many videos in the archives explaining this in more detail. The Inner Child uses the consequences of a false belief as proof it is true. I label this as a self-fulfilling prophecy or confirmation bias. What you believe creates outcomes and results; therefore, if the belief is false and negative, so will the effects. Emotions are the consequence of what you believe, creating the Carousel Of Despair. Again, we have many recordings explaining this Inner Child’s faulty reasoning in our archives that you may find helpful. Grounding yourself in Shen, not your emotions, is how you make lasting change, teach your Inner Child to release their false but familiar identity of fault, and demeaning themselves into understanding they are incredible, unique, and spiritual. Lowing themselves or making themselves small is the opposite of what they should be doing. I want them to be in their flow and reach their true, authentic potential. I understand my direct approach and delivery to this vital subject will not always please the Inner Child, but as I say in many videos, I do not believe the Inner Child is weak and vulnerable. I am attempting to help them break that false identity story and reach out for truth, honesty and integrity (Shen) to lead them off the Carousel Of Despair so they can walk their unique path. I hope I’ve addressed your question and covered all the relevant points. Thank you again for your question and interest in our work. Kind regards, David.

@Pleasedunkmeintheoceanagain 2 жыл бұрын

I am seriously messed up… not even in denial about it… how do raise kids and heal?

@KaliKali-hv9bt 2 жыл бұрын

Same... OMG

@Lichfeldian--Suttonian 2 жыл бұрын

There lies the problem: the society/culture as a whole behaves like the "inner child". It has something to defend, it lives in fear, fear of losing what it all believes in, fear the loss of its existence, and so does its willing participants. Why? The participants receive safety, security, protection, and containment. That is what the participants/cultural adherents want. In that process, the willing participants don't know who they are, they just toe the line of what they are told to do to receive that safety, security protection and cultural containment. That also follows through to relationships: women must be ladies, men must be gentlemen. "Ladies" and "gentlemen" are _culturally_ good people by doing not being and so the whole thing for me, falls apart. None of us know who we really are, none of us have our own self-integrity, self-values, self-love, etc., until we each say, "This is _my_ life. I am going to live with _my own_ safety and security and not under the soft warm blanket provided by the society/culture. That is where the true richness of our lives are and where we have healthy individual independant growth. To be happy is to _just be._

@robertamirtha4242 Жыл бұрын

Can you make a video or do you have a video about how to emotionally deal with or overcome it when one has been treated by someone as if one is inferior? I don't think I ever said or did anything wrong or offensive but just hated for no good reason. (I'm not referring necessarily to abusive love relationship or childhood emotional abuse, though, but just someone I encountered a few times as an adult. In the future, I may also have to emotionally deal with some others who have rejecting, contemptuous attitude specifically towards me, so I think it would be good to know how to "arm" myself so that I'm not affected much.) An important point also is how to deal with it when IT IS IN FACT personal because the other person who's hateful only hates me but treats everyone else with kindness and respect; I mean, in that case, it's harder to explain it away by saying "it's not about you, it's about the other person." How to deal with it so that one doesn't doubt oneself and have thoughts of there must be something "wrong" with ME.

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

Hello Roberta, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@robertamirtha4242 Жыл бұрын

@@WuWeiWisdom I don't have a Facebook account at this time but will reconsider. Thanks.

@rocmon Жыл бұрын

how do I examine my first years experience, to release trams ?

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

We have a process called 'Golden Thread Process' that helps with the self-reflection you mentioned. Have a look through the play lists. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Kind regards, David.

@Tanjastrbac11 8 ай бұрын

I think sometimes that i control all situation, and that is not true. How to be autentic? ☺️

@WuWeiWisdom 8 ай бұрын

@samramasood870 2 жыл бұрын

Please reply I’m very thankful to you

@samramasood870 2 жыл бұрын

Do have any online Session

@vandflaske1 2 жыл бұрын

Check their description box. They do.

@WuWeiWisdom 2 жыл бұрын

You can learn more about David's online consultations here: www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies-for-body-mind/ ~ Thank you for your support!

@CaSh-H Жыл бұрын

Is it the same as feeling like a disappointment. Sorry I believe I am. 😮

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. It all comes down to definitions. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.