Love bombed first 3 months then devalued the next 7 months. She broke up with me because she said I made her feel like a bad person. When in reality she treated me poorly and I called her out for gaslighting me when I said she hurt my feelings. She said your feelings aren't in my control. Which is true, but she still impacts them and should care about how I feel. Then when I said hey that's not cool you can't treat me that way and if it doesn't stop I'm leaving she broke up with me before I could break up with her. But I still am responsible for letting all the other things go that didn't sit right. Hard to not think about her sometimes. I know I need to move on because I deserve better. Thanks for this video it's a great help!

I thought the obsessing was a result of the betrayal trauma that still needs to be processed. In addition to nonfinite grief (grieving the life we expected or imagined).

Thank you. I had an alcoholic father, narc mom, and narc ex.

Kenny, Im an American but work/live in Germany. I’ve obsessed over the worst relationship I’ve ever had in my 49 years on earth. I couldn’t figure out why considering the levels of which he abandoned and cheated on me numerous times . He’s spending the weekend with a girl 20 years younger and it makes me sick to my stomach. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why do I even care. Thank you for this video. You’re literally saving lives. Thank you.

Kenny you are the only one to explain this nightmare in a way I understand it. I get it at last. I can see the 64 years of 'tumble dryer' churning historical traumas that fill my mind every day. From my earliest memories as a tiny toddler to my teens, marriage and abusive relationships since. It's late in life to at last understand why my life was the way it was but not too late to 'lean forward'. That actually brought tears because it's something I can cling to when I slide back... I will think of you and lean forward. Bless you Kenny x

2:00 Thank you. I watched your last video, and everything you said is so true. I took care of my mother. I watched her as a little girl suffering from depression, then later turned into schizophrenia. I get these flashbacks about how she suffered, and so now that I've been exposed to a narcissist; he says he has to manage his own self. Now that explains some of his issues. He thinks I'm going to manage him. He's already taken too much of my time, and he mentally exhausted me. Not to mention trying to use me up financially, and let's not forget the old reverse physiology trick. This has been on and off for 18 months. He's text book narcissist. Would it be unethical to expose him? Not for my satisfaction alone, but to all the other women that's he's lied to? I actually started to feel sorry or remorseful. Damnit

That's the hardest part for me is letting go. Of course I'm an Empath and a Pisces. Letting go of anything, my dogs, my mother who suffered with mental illness. She passed in 2010. My first experience with death was my grandpa, I was only 12. It seems I can feel the loss before it happensl. I don't know if I'm preparing myself for the next death. This relationship feels like death truly from heart.

You are gooood !!!!..Only watched 2 videos so far and I'm already hooked..

There is a part in your book you mention a piece around giving into someone desiring you to become the person you was and in the moment you gave in and called it taking your power back it’s giving power over from what I understood true power is being able to say this is the me I worked so hard to build and am not going to abandon myself to become the person I worked so hard to move from.

23:15 That hits it in the nose. My obsession was to find the solution FOR that other. My 'significant other' is really a self-loath label, it also reads 'the insignificant me' ! 25:50 So we are clinging in the hope that we can reunite from the abandonment? Thank you, for the clarity imparted.

Second day without him and I am obsessing over the breakup , I wanted him to love me back but it never happened. 3 years long distance relationship( only over video, knew his whole family), never met him face to face, because we always break up before it happened. I feel like an addict

Thanks for good posting here!

Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable for the sake of helping others. I truly appreciate you and your teaching. Very helpful.

Excellent video!

Thank you ♥

You’re golden ❤

Yes, my psych prof said you can also quit smoking raising dopamine level.

Thank you for your video Kenny...I am from Denmark and met a woman from the philippines in the middle east. I visited her in her country and all looked and seemed fine with this charming woman. She told me she was on the pill, but she still got pregnant...oh, what happened, I asked. She said she must have forgotten to take the pill. I accepted she was pregnant but told her I wanted an abortion. But abortion is strictly forbidden in the philippines and you will go to prison if you try illigal abortion. Ok, I will stand by you and have the baby together...long story stort and doing my best to support the pregnant woman and building a house etc etc to secure her life and my coming babys life. After finishing the house and arranging the lot things started to change...first of all the mother became sarcastic, jealous, paranoid, narcissistic, borderline, sociopathic and psychopatic with rage fits and plain stupidity. I did not know what all this was and had no clue about narcissism...I stayed for two more years trying to do my best for my daughter but inside I knew that I had to leave the mother to save my life. Back in demmark I cleared my mind and looked deeply into the mothers terrible symptoms and my own feelings what it was all about. Today I feel relaxed and clear in my mind and body and I will never go back to the mother. The door is closed. But I have my daughter who is now almost seven years old. I have tried to get my daughter but in vain because of the legal rules in the philippines. The mother convinced the police and the judge that I was the culprit. The mother wants my daughter because she is the mothers gold mine....I am not attached to the mother anymore but I am attached to my daughter whom I love very much and want to do my best for...I have worked with my anger and sorrow losing my daughter but the worst for me now is that mother is slowly disturbing and killing my daughters mind, body, soul and spirit...how will you deal with this challenge Kenny? Can you suggest something?

Wow... Practical pointers all.. Love the way you call it out for exactly as it is.. Giving far more importance to the empowering and NOT about the Narcissist... Looking forward to reading your blog ❤ Thank You 🙏🏽🎉

Thank you. I worry about the effects the narc is having on the child. What videos do u recc to help understand how to compensate for the narc abuse to help the child? The psychology to understand to help the child? I get my self care, I got that etc. I need to understand the psychology so I can speak well to the child to guide the child to understand what is healthy n unhealthy too? Hope that's clear.

Thanks!

Can I use this method for getting over breakup?

How do you know & trust if my husband is saying he wants to change and get better and is willing to stay in therapy and do anything, how would I know if he is telling the truth ? Please help me to know ?