How To Stop Self-Shaming and Overcome Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
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Күн бұрынCope with your BPD symptoms using my BPD Card Deck: The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
shorturl.at/bxB05
In this video, we're going to talk about how to stop self-shaming and overcome borderline personality disorder (BPD). Self-shaming is one of the most common symptoms of borderline personality disorder. It's a cycle of self-judgment and negative self-talk that can ruin your self-esteem. If you're struggling with self-shaming, then this video is for you. I'll share with you tips on how to stop self-shaming and overcome BPD.
Those with BPD reported higher levels of early maladaptive schemas, characterological, behavioral and bodily shame, and were more prone to react with anxiety and anger than non-PD patients and HC subjects. Early maladaptive schema domains had specific associations with chronic shame and reaction types to social put-downs.
Chronic shame and anxious and angry reactions to social put-downs are prominent in patients with borderline personality disorder and are associated with specific early maladaptive schemas domains and with the symptoms of identity disturbance and stormy relationships.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
KZfaq: / @drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Videos edited by Emil Christopher: emilchristopheredits@gmail.com
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
00:00 Introduction
00:13 self-shaming
04:23 BPD and body shaming
05:36 identity disturbance or unstable self-image
06:17 relationship problems and body shaming
09:10 early maladaptive schemas
09:26 Identifying early maladaptive schemas
10:49 mistrust and abuse
11:42 emotional deprivation
13:26 defectiveness and shame
15:37 dependence and incompetence
17:16 enmeshment and undeveloped self
18:35 unrelenting standards and hypocriticalness
@markusmeyer6391 11 ай бұрын
Self shaming and the feelings of shame are extreme and excessive in a person with BPD. They are overwhelmingly strong. So thank you for talking about the matter.
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
You're very welcome. I'm glad the video was helpful. Be well.
@jwilleseries7764 7 ай бұрын
I feel so much shame when I do almost anything so I often frezze up due to shame while trying to go about my day, would that be an example of extreme and excessive shame?
@Viberiderz 7 ай бұрын
I don’t know how to live a whole life with it? 🤷♀️
@KaylaMarie-ox8le 5 ай бұрын
@@jwilleseries7764any shame is really not helpful IMO. Shame is really feeling bad at one’s core. I get guilty about certain actions. I know I am not just completely awful. Guilt is about feeling bad about certain actions and is more manageable.
@SupaFro 11 ай бұрын
"Even Broken Crayons Still Color" Wow, that one hit hard with inspiration
@emilykathleenn 11 ай бұрын
I feel deep shame for minor things because of bpd , people ask why I say sorry so much. I think I go through depressive episodes too and that is when the self shame kicks in to an almost unbearable level
@NopeNotToday26 17 күн бұрын
I feel you. These emotions are so strong that it literally feels like I’m being swallowed whole by it and it’s such a struggle to come out of it. One thing that clicked with me today is the power of pure ACTION. When you are feeling so down and your body feels like it is about to drop-that is the time to force yourself to get and move. I used to try to think myself out of it and that is no longer working. I have to get up. I got up today when I knew all I craved to do was stay in bed hoping I’d just disappear and die right there. Just please know you’re not the only one who’s experiencing this. The fact that this man is giving some solutions is proof that there are people that care enough to try and tackle it….even if you feel like the people in your life currently don’t get it. It’s okay if the people in your life don’t get it because there are others that do and are rooting for you. During your harshest battle, just know that I feel you, I understand and I am here to talk to anytime. ❤❤❤❤ Please take great care of yourself. We’re not the defeating voices in our heads.
@brightphoebus 11 ай бұрын
I always feel like everyone else is BETTER than me, and then when it comes to light that someone isn't, I'm shocked and really angry with how incompetent THEY are. Also how can I care about myself if no one else does? I've always been angered by the notion that I have to be the one who cares the most about me in order to survive.
@goldie7924 11 ай бұрын
Because of the BPD, it makes us easy prey to bullies as kids and adults. People don't understand nor care to . But they're quick to point fingers at us for problems.
@rdaniel4574 10 ай бұрын
Goldie7924 please explain your point here about being bullied, bullied about what?
@DD-jm5ug 10 ай бұрын
Yup. I do agree. Especially quiet bpd. I know I'm fragile, l'm unstable and unsure of who i am...i never know how to react. I constantly feel like I'm falling waiting to grab onto something to secure/stabilise me. Empty hollow feeling. It's just exhausting 😢
@Nicefoolkilla 9 ай бұрын
I was the bully. I don't say that proudly.
@James-Johnson313 9 ай бұрын
@@Nicefoolkillamy pwBPD was too, in gradeschool and early highschool.
@goldie7924 7 ай бұрын
@@Nicefoolkilla at least you learned from your ways. ❤️
@Banana42699 11 ай бұрын
I don’t know if you get told this enough Dr. Fox but I appreciate all the work you put into your practice, how much you care for people with bpd and how many helpful resources you give to us to help ourselves. Also with lack of money it’s seriously such a help to us all. I recently bought your card deck and have been trying to work on that every night. Keep doing what you’re doing ❤
@JDforeveralone 11 ай бұрын
I can only join your comment - appreciation and many thanks to Dr Fox!
@Taylor-Crawford 11 ай бұрын
This is gonna be painfully difficult but I'm here for it because YOU Dr. Fox appear to be the only well-educated person on BPD on the planet. "Mental Health Treatment" nowadays is abhorrently inadequate insufficient and counterproductive.
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.
@Taylor-Crawford 11 ай бұрын
@@DrDanielFox 👀 well, I call it as I see it. Thank you, for the acknowledgement and this platform to feel validated and seen.
@MsRikkiTikki1 11 ай бұрын
Dr. Fox is seriously the best. I agree with you @taylorcrawfordwalkee7692 that Dr. Fox has the be the only person I’ve seen come out of the woodworks with an understanding and compassion for BPD! If the healthcare system was filled with people like Dr. Fox, maybe we wouldn’t feel so marginalized when it comes to getting help for ourselves! Have a great day!
@Taylor-Crawford 11 ай бұрын
@@MsRikkiTikki1 👀👑👑👑 I wholeheartedly agree with you 😁 We actually have COMMUNITY here.
@WhitePelicansareReal 11 ай бұрын
Absolutely one of your most informative videos, and thank you for it being longer! I am very familiar the “Early Maladaptive Schema’s”, I was wondering if you also use in therapy “Schema Modes” ? At first this concept was very daunting, but I keep going back to it and re-evaluate where I am at, and which ones still need work on. Perhaps you would consider doing a Part 2? 😊
@VeronicaNicole4778 11 ай бұрын
I feel so grateful to be living in the day of KZfaq because this kind of thing is so helpful to myself and I would be a lot worse off not having this daily help. There’s so many videos online nowadays that would’ve cost a lot of money to get the information back in the day. Thank you so so much!!! Looking forward to this one, too!
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@TheBroSplit 11 ай бұрын
When you become the brunt of jokes, sometimes you fire back. Stand up for yourself.
@jameslutz3835 11 ай бұрын
The amount of work it takes to overcome these things feels overwhelming, but it's nice to hear them brought up in a manner that makes them seem manageable
@nadiamarie9833 10 ай бұрын
I was just recently diagnosed with BPD. Ive had deep internal shame about who i am as a person my whole life. I feel irreparably damaged as a person. As a result i am a perfectionist and push myself to perform beyond my capabilities.
@DrDanielFox 10 ай бұрын
Please resist this negative self talk. I wish you well. Find adaptive strategies to help you.
@debbiehanson8967 Ай бұрын
Exactly
@janarama8029 11 ай бұрын
For me, this is the most dangerous component of the disorder. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that you were going to address being in invalidating atmosphere as well.
@patriciagss2024 11 ай бұрын
Doctor, I was diagnosed with bpd and bipolar. Losing a child is the most terrible feeling for anyone...but for me, as a borderline, it's been unbearable for years...my grief has lasted in such an intense feeling for almost 14 years. My daughter passed away when she was 14 at the end of 2009...I tried to commit suicide twice. I feared losing my daughter and it happened... I feared losibg my daughter even after my own dearh seeing her from the other side and being unable to avoid it...and it happened before me..I failed .. I can't find peace... thanks from Brazil ..
@Crystalquartz964 11 ай бұрын
@patriciagimenes4627 So very sorry to hear of your daughter's death at the age of 14. Sending you love and I hope you have someone helping and supporting you.
@Viberiderz 8 ай бұрын
🫂
@jennylynnculbertson9086 11 ай бұрын
I spend all day trying not to believe myself I'm building the skills ❤
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
I wish you well.
@carolineprenoveau7655 11 ай бұрын
About feeling incompetent. Many years ago, I wanted to move from my place (I was living with a roommate at the time). I found an apartment and I found friends to help me move. I did my absolute best to tell nobody so that my parents wouldn't know so they wouldn't come to help me. I wanted to do it by myself to prove to myself that I'm not a complete idiot and I can move by myself. I was very anxious and unsure of myself but I wanted to do it anyways. My parents still found out afterwards and wanted to help, and criticized my choices and my behavior. I know it may sound good that they wanted to help, but it really isn't. Help is supporting someone, not doing everything for them so they become crippled. I was angry that they came to help. I didn't ask them to. I felt invaded. I just wanted to do something completely on my own as an adult for christ sake.
@sunbeam9222 7 ай бұрын
I understand. Create new opportunities to do so :)
@AngelBien 4 ай бұрын
Sounds like they have a pattern of hindering your autonomy.
@sassyslsgrl 11 ай бұрын
This channel has been such a huge part of my healing journey ❤️
@Corndog122 11 ай бұрын
I wish other pple in our lives understood this concept. No one wants to feel like this. It's very difficult
@user-ul8ys8vb2k 11 ай бұрын
I was diagnosed a year ago although it is mild and manageable but this video showed up on my feed and it's been one of the hardest things to me to work on. My self doubt guilt and shame often take over it's so overwhelming,, thank you for this video
@dimpletoadfoot8631 5 ай бұрын
I used to say all kinds of bad crap about myself, but I started Thought Screaming those bad thoughts away. Like telling Gollum to "go away and nevermind come back!". You know what happened? Those thoughts stopped coming back :) it took about a month of work, but Thought Screaming (my own term) helped me stop waisting so much time in my day on talking crap about myself.
@uxtalzon 11 ай бұрын
Severe ("low-functioning") BPD here. I'm many bricks short of a wall when it comes to socializing. I was constantly evaluated as kid in school. Maybe they thought I was on the spectrum? I never understood or cared. My parents had low hopes about me for decades since. I think it's all normal, but everyone has been saying how concerned they are. I try to see it from their point of view. The "I don't know" near the end is me. I keep getting told that I'm not "getting it", but I don't know what "it" is. 18:50 is very true, but life itself has standards and expectations, though. Everyone around me are sort of resigned that I may never be independent and live normally as most people do. Their concern now is how I'll keep on living like this at some sort of very diminished capacity. Without support, I'm destined for homelessness or something. I don't know. The days just keep passing. I've been going through DBT for two years and I can tell the therapist and my family are beyond frustrated.
@jennylynnculbertson9086 11 ай бұрын
🫂 Be easy on yourself Our hearts allready hurt enough Be your friend This is hardest part for me I feel it physically jyst hearing the words Be nice to yourself
@juliah5038 9 ай бұрын
It's almost funny how I find myself clicking on your BPD videos out of curiosity, being convinced that "this behavior is nothing like me" and when Dr Fox rephrases the title within the first minute of the video my jaw drops as I recognize myself in the description.
@DrDanielFox 9 ай бұрын
I’m so glad my material is helpful for you. Be well.
@user-zr4ci7oc9t 10 ай бұрын
💕 I am so grateful that you can present information freely like this. I’ve brought two of your books and they’ve been a godsend to my life. I realised I have abusers in my head, even though I may not be subjected to the same kind of abuse anymore doesn’t mean they don’t still live within my mind. I feel pain in my chest everyday like lava simmering away, my emotional pain hurts so much it feels physical. I can’t pinpoint where this pain comes from but today I decided to note when my pain is worse, and now I am convinced this is in relation to my early maladaptive schemas and the thought loops I go through. I have hope that when I work through this, my pain could lessen. I have hope. Thank you dr Daniel fox 💞
@DrDanielFox 10 ай бұрын
Thank you and I’m glad it was helpful.
@michelekurlan2580 3 ай бұрын
Not impossible to stop the self-shaming, just monumental...like Mt. Everest. ¡Aye yi yi yi yi! This is good, some excellent metaphors, and it's true.
@zsuzsakeller9968 11 ай бұрын
I was just aboit to go to self shaming and hate when i found this video. Still, i had enough, every time i drag myself out of misery and start hoping, life will crash me and put me into an even darker place. So fed up
@diberg123 11 ай бұрын
Thank you Dr. Fox. I have learned so much from you. Thankfully the LORD has provided a therapist for me that is able to help with core beliefs, trauma and dbt. Every time I listen to you I learn something about myself. Someone in my life taught me: uncover, discover, recover and that the process is experiential and incremental. Without talented, knowledgeable therapists with appropriate boundaries, those of us with bpd or traits would truly be without hope. Thank you, thank you, thank you for educating and extending hope to those of us that suffer. If it had not been for finding your videos on KZfaq my realization of bpd traits would not have been possible. Believe me, I'm 60 and have been in and out of therapy my whole adult life. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to actually participate in healing. I'm blessed beyond measure that my children can watch as Mom gets to change and live life in a new way. It frees them, after all they grew up with a crazy me as their role model. Thank you again and keep putting this information out there. THERE IS HOPE AND HEALING!
@goldie7924 11 ай бұрын
You are so blessed. My children hold my bPd against me
@JDforeveralone 11 ай бұрын
@@goldie7924 feeling for you! They should not hold it against you - we all carry pur burdens from our upbringig and even our parents and so on (passed down inherited trauma - Gabor Mate speaks a lot about it). After learning about all this stuff I finally was able to reconcile with my own self and overcome the resentment I harboured for over 40 years against mum. She was a victim herself of her background. I really do hope that your kids will realise this and help you on your journey of healing. I recommend they watch Gabor Mate clips.
@jennylynnculbertson9086 11 ай бұрын
I am 49 have so much mom guilt I was and am horrible It's hardest part They don't deserve it I'm happy you are better❤ I hope mine will see the same Idk whre to turn
@goldie7924 11 ай бұрын
@@JDforeveralone thank you.. I'll check into her. Wishing you the best.
@goldie7924 11 ай бұрын
@@jennylynnculbertson9086 you can only look forward. Don't let your thoughts take hold and get stuck in the mud as I call it. Even a new moment of new for you to start feeling better, being the person you want to be, going for your dreams, even if by a step! Prayers, thoughts, and big hug. PS when I heard Dr Fox explain the self shaming and guilt I finally could understand and let go. Please watch it.
@BrewsterPeterson999 4 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us. I found a couple of Maladaptive actions I can stop doing. Cheers!
@MabelRD08 6 ай бұрын
This channel is so good. It has helped me a lot to better understand BPD and how messed up I get😭😔😩 Thank you Dr Fox
@DrDanielFox 6 ай бұрын
Shame video comment response
@steffnic13 Ай бұрын
I’ve never been diagnosed with BPD, but I have been Dx with severe CPTSD. At the end of the day, and diagnosis aside, these are traits I exhibit. So either I confront it head on or it rules my life. Thank you for this content.
@inactiveuser8290 11 ай бұрын
I wonder if this is related to taking things very literally because I believe everything people say about me usually. When me and my husband were dating I remember him saying “What’s the point of being with someone if you don’t love everything about them? Why not be obsessed with each other?” And for about a year I became extremely clingy to him until he asked me why I was acting so obsessed like I can’t breathe without him. He was very patient with me, but I always believed every little thing and got angry when he didn’t act “obsessed” with me the way I expected
@shani_sth 11 ай бұрын
I’ve been struggling with extreme self-shame/self-hatred and all these anxious thoughts about how others perceive me for over a decade now, mainly due to trauma since early childhood. I‘m not diagnosed (yet) with BPD, but I show almost all signs. I made an appointment with my GP to get a diagnosis, but in my mind I always come back to „I’m just exaggerating, it’s not BPD and it’s just all in my mind“ and just want to cancel that appointment. Seeing this video kinda made me come back to the mindset „I need to get the help NOW, before I’ll do things I’ll regret“. Thank you for all these videos.
@lauramcclain8651 11 ай бұрын
A GP shouldn’t be diagnosing a personality disorder .
@amber40494 11 ай бұрын
GP can recommend someone
@KaylaMarie-ox8le 5 ай бұрын
Whether or not it's BPD it seems you are legitimately struggling. I hope things turn around for the better no matter what the cause is
@geniebaby2000 11 ай бұрын
Dr. Fox, I'm really grateful that you have shared such a vast amount of resources online for people who struggle to get help otherwise. You easily gave me the tools to put myself in a better place mentally. I'm still growing and learning everyday, but without the compassion and knowledge you share on your channel and in your book, I don't know how long it would have taken me to get here. I feel so much better than I did a year ago, and I'm much stronger.
@sarahrichmond5884 11 ай бұрын
watching this video makes me feel heard. thank you so much for all the work you do for BPD awareness, and explaining how we are victims of abuse. you are helping so many people, I hope you know that
@user-fe2cd8mo9u 9 ай бұрын
Very grateful I found this video today. The self shame has been kicking my ass this week and was getting to the point today where I was thinking about taking the exit. But this made me feel less like a lost cause, maybe I’ll keep fighting my mind a lil bit longer.
@DrDanielFox 9 ай бұрын
Stay strong and push back as best you can.
@randilynn2422 11 ай бұрын
Wow! I can’t believe how you were able to articulate how I feel inside. You have an absolute gift. Dr. Fox you give me hope that I’m gonna get better. I have your book! Thank you for your presence and patience with us. I know we are hard.
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
You are so welcome!
@KatJ3st 11 ай бұрын
Dr Fox you're a lifesaver! I share your videos on a Facebook BPD support group. I let people know BPD is not your identity. You can truly change your mind and change your life
@supacalafragalistic 11 ай бұрын
Omg so excited!
@danderson4740 11 ай бұрын
I am familiar with the buffalo story. It's an excellent metaphor for the struggle of pushing through BPD to get out of the rain and into the sun.
@joeyjo7553 11 ай бұрын
Wow every single video you have posted for the past 3 months has come at a perfect timing. Thank you so much!!
@anastasiamurawski6179 11 ай бұрын
Wow!! I've never heard this stuff before. I have been in therapy of one sort or another for decades now and I was starting to believe that I didn't really have this disorder, but I've been watching a lot of videos on the topic of BPD and I guess I do have it, the shame that goes with it can be overwhelming at times. I think my brother who died by suicide a couple of years ago had it too but was undiagnosed. I also have bipolar 2 and the therapy I get is not the best, I live in rural part of the midwest and social services is the best I do for now. But my brother was well off and lived in more of an urban setting where he could see whichever doctor he wanted to see(sometimes the therapy in the city can be better, not always though). I was matched with a person who tried to treat me using DBT and other methods but it didn't work out. She sort of gave up on me, the program was very difficult, there's a lot to learn and remember. And fear always gets in my way too. Especially fear of change. But I want to change and improve myself, it's just finding the right help for me is also difficult. I see you have written some books on the subject and I plan to seek them out. I wish I had a therapist like you, you seem very non judgemental and I enjoy your use of analogy to explain it all, makes it easier to digest. I subscribed and look forward to seeing your other videos. Thank you so much.
@rdaniel4574 10 ай бұрын
It's worth you going to the city to find a therapist who specializes in bpd, or psychiatrist. Don't let your location paralyze you, go!
@KaylaMarie-ox8le 5 ай бұрын
Hi. How are you doing now?
@cravingattention2771 5 ай бұрын
This was very informative, thank you!
@fionaedwards561 11 ай бұрын
I totally get this…… thanks for your work.
@helix577 10 ай бұрын
Thank you, Dr. Fox. This was a great video for me, because it hit those early habits that I've been maintaining in situations to, I think maintain some sort of control. Things are making much better sense since I started watching your videos. I've been going to therapy for about 15 years, and your videos are like gifts to me, to understand finally what's going on, and to have hope that one day I will have full control, or at least enough tools to battle my BPD appropriately. ❤
@Toxic_echo732 10 ай бұрын
You’re so wise, thank you so much for these videos! All of this is given freely, no charge and it’s really appreciated thank you!! I recently have been diagnosed with BPD and I’ve been trying to learn as much as I can and there isn’t a lot of information out there. Thank you!
@ugotugot 10 ай бұрын
Hello Dr.fox I have been reading and practicing your books and videos and as someone who suffers from quiet bpd from the age of 19 to 32 now, it just feels freeing to hear how you break the Maladaptive patterns and having some sense to all the internal chatter that never stops. It feels like a never ending fight with yourself to function and have a sense of meaning and purpose in a world that you feel like you lack the tools and emotional armor and support to succeed or even be part of. I appreciate your work and the way you talk to your viewers and patients and being very supportive and caring, to me you are a godsend gift that helps me to understand myself better and helps brake the immense stress and guilt that i feel from not functioning well in life and for not "living up to my potential" at least that's how i feel it. so really for everything thanks a lot
@brillent8412 8 ай бұрын
The best therapist I’ve watched so far
@DrDanielFox 8 ай бұрын
Thank you 😊
@sjensen9024 3 ай бұрын
Wow! Thank you. It took listening to this several times to get it.
@dramatriangle 5 ай бұрын
This video was super helpful and informative. Thank you! I’m going to try re-watching it several times and maybe showing it to my mental health counselor as well.
@dinovugic7701 11 ай бұрын
Thank you, doc. You are a lifesaver!
@jackiegrice714 11 ай бұрын
This is a great video Dr. Fox. It’s chock full of excellent and pertinent information. I saw a myself a couple times in those maladaptive schemas. It just shows me areas I need to keep working on. I love seeing your longer format videos. I know you put a lot of work into creating content for us-thank you!
@Helen-cc8wl 11 ай бұрын
So so helpful and clear as always . A master communicator. Thank you .
@nikkisimon5716 9 ай бұрын
Thank you for these videos ❤
@mac-ju5ot 11 ай бұрын
Looking forward to this
@TruthRocker 9 ай бұрын
Thank YOU So incredibly much Doctor Fox for being the change in a much needed world!!!! ❤❤❤❤
@Shortkonner 11 ай бұрын
Very interested in this thank you❤
@Coito907 11 ай бұрын
Extreme helpful! I could relate to several. I had that enmeshment growing up with my parents and it made it hard to become my own person earlier on so I was a late bloomer.
@212samsam 4 ай бұрын
Dude. I was doing this research about npd and convinced myself I had it even though I've been told by several therapists that I'm bpd. Doing so cost me everything that mattered to me. But the research felt good because I was like okay this confirms I'm worthless because clearly I hurt everyone I love because I can't help it. But this channel on the other hand. Well it hits the nail on the head. It doesn't feel good, because this is making me really look in the mirror and seeing what's really wrong and knowing I can do better and feeling like it's too late because I already lost the person I love. This channel hurts, in the way that maybe I can do better, and I'm going to learn everything I can to do better. Like I know the pain might never go away, but I really want to do better.
@RenegadeSolutions 11 ай бұрын
First, I want to thank you for your compassionate approach to education. Your videos have helped me the most, of all the research I've conducted. Thank you. I also want to ask you your opinion regarding meditation as treatment, as my meditation practice has helped me in the same way I see DBT helping others.
@finallyanime 11 ай бұрын
Right when I started searching up the term funny
@SaarLeestMee 7 ай бұрын
I'm so gratefull for your channel and information ❤❤❤ greetings from Belgium
@021water5 11 ай бұрын
im really grateful for this channel. I can be so judgemental to myself and so can the world but I feel understood when I listen to you💛
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
I’m so glad it’s helpful for you and I wish you all the best.
@DaPoofDaPoofDaPoofDa 11 ай бұрын
Bless this channel
@F4narragansett 7 ай бұрын
So grateful for the work you do for us
@DrDanielFox 7 ай бұрын
So nice of you Thanks
@Gabbavides 2 ай бұрын
Thank you Dr. Fox. This video was unbelievably helpful
@DrDanielFox 2 ай бұрын
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@user-qz1tn2ur4j 9 ай бұрын
I have a bad bpd episode and begin to self shame and it just destroys any progress I have made I try to break the cycle but some days it is so hard to break free
@evelynhoward8325 8 ай бұрын
I totally get this. I'm doing it now. I can't stop
@poorva3541 11 ай бұрын
Extremely helpful doctor Fox! Thankyou❤
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@tynaturkova361 11 ай бұрын
Amazing, so eye openig. Thank You so much! 🙏🙂❤
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
You are so welcome
@karajamieson9574 10 ай бұрын
Dr fox, finding these videos has been a saving grace on understanding how to deal with the things i felt but didnt understand , i want to say thank you for helping me truly understand myself after all these years. Thank you so much.
@DrDanielFox 10 ай бұрын
You are very welcome. Please be well.
@stellabandante2727 5 ай бұрын
Dr. Fox, I really appreciate your manner. You offer information that is matter of fact, but gentle and encouraging.
@DrDanielFox 5 ай бұрын
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@ryanbarker3978 4 ай бұрын
This is probably my favorite video I've seen from you yet. Incredibly insightful, thank you Doctor Fox!
@DrDanielFox 4 ай бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@kayzeethecat9333 12 күн бұрын
You are doing such important work. Thank you.
@DrDanielFox 12 күн бұрын
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@synappticuser7296 5 ай бұрын
Thank you Dr Fox, for speaking so clearly and candidly about BPD. It is so helpful, to have someone who knows the condition well, give talks about it in a very healthy way. It immediately improves my self-acceptance, as well as giving me a complete tool kit with which to self treat, understand, and heal. 🙋🤝
@DrDanielFox 5 ай бұрын
I'm glad you found my talk helpful! It's so important to have someone who understands the condition and can provide valuable insights.
@justinrobinson7954 4 ай бұрын
Doc, I love your videos they help me understand myself more!!! I would really like to obtain your workbook
@zeromonster3381 5 ай бұрын
Thank you Dr. Fox. I am so glad I found your channel. I was recently diagnosed with BPD. (My whole life they said I was Bipolar.) I'm finding your channel very helpful.
@DrDanielFox 5 ай бұрын
Thank you for your comment! It means a lot to me to know that my channel is making a difference in people's lives. Your support and feedback motivate me to keep creating content that can help others. Wishing you all the best on your journey.
@Mybffismagnilia334 4 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video😢
@windrock 13 күн бұрын
And having early maladaptive schemas and shame. Bullying from signicant adults and peers, i used alcohol and marijuana to cope which created i believe further psychotical issues and paranoia and being in unstable relationships. Now in my 50's and for the last 15 years having unstable employment for my mental health. I am free of substance misuse and now challenging behaviour and all the other stuff from the years. Believing that i can reintegrate joy and purpose without reliving the past. What a ride. Complex and not wamting to isolate amymore for all the shame. Gently gently ♥️
@DrDanielFox 11 күн бұрын
It sounds like you've been through a lot, but it's amazing to hear about your journey toward healing and growth. Keep moving forward!
@rijd2304 11 ай бұрын
The mindfulness meditation book "30 Days to Overcome Loneliness" by Daniels was a good help.
@danielhernandez-fo3mj 11 ай бұрын
i hit on pritty much all of these ...... lately I've been in a bad shame game for like 4 days since for some reason I'm noticing how easy my rejection issues are triggered just my eye doc saying so your sure you have ms has sent me into this 4 day self shame issue .... so ironic you posted this as I'm struggling and i literally fit all of these guess its why I'm bpd with avodent traits ....... my shame in childhood came form almost everywhere teachers friends there parents then getting locked up i literally don't see my true value anymore ..... and i just flo through life trying not to be considered a problem ..... the as my mutlple sclerosis has gotten worse and i need a mobility aid I'm triggered even more eazyly and even tell people I'm not confadent in my new normal and I'm truly not ...... im gonna have to rewatch this agen cuz i don't know how to brake this and its even more crazy cuz my partner is at the point you talk about were he feels like it two agenst one and how he wont talk to me when im like this cuz im just being a cry lala and not push back agesnt it ..... but i literally have all these shemas and just watching this makes me go well fuck ..... its so automatic to feel shame even when something is supoused to be helpful and i truly even find it helpful ....... this is where all my core issues lie i know it my therapist even says its closely related to my ptsd to cuz of how much rejection i had in my childhood .... and then add my over dependence onmy mom to do things for me and make me feel better .... this video hit everything ..... even my obsession wiht the kid alex who wen i lost his friendship i lost myself and ended up trying to kill myself and drove me to my episode of trying to kill my sisters it was the key component to when i completely lost it ....... a lot of things i have to think about ... thanks for the grate insight dr fox
@zosoart 11 ай бұрын
Broken crayons still colour 🖍
@Stenko222 11 ай бұрын
Dr Fox hits the nail square on the head. He " gets in" so comprehensively.
@DrDanielFox 11 ай бұрын
Thanks 😊
@JWolff-md3ij 8 ай бұрын
Argh...I can feel it in my stomach that this is what I'm about all my life. I watched quite a few of your videos now. These schemas.. I have maybe all but one and I even recognized one for my daughter. What I don't have is this tendency you speak of that says I need to "feel worse to feel better". I also feel very panicky often, but I suppress this so most ppl don't know about it. I isolate, I talk to myself (whole conversations), If sb hurts my feelings or is critical I become scared of them (like my wife) . I also have a near panic-attack with confrontation unless I'm too angry to feel things. I go off on people when I drive also all the time. I constantly look to be wronged. I'm a mess. I wish 1) That you had openings and 2) you could practice in the state of SC. I'm not clicking with anyone I've "interviewed" yet.
@Bonnie_Lou 11 ай бұрын
Well I was sa’d as a child, there were times we were lined up against a wall, lifted by our throats , feet off the ground, I see EVERYTHING, but I’m afraid of people, I choose to be alone, I’m happy, I need no one else….
@inspiredmenow5053 3 ай бұрын
If i got someone like you in my life may be my life is better earlier.. My therapist give me therapy for 4 months and said that's it. Some symptoms are improved but nobody tell about these things. You are doing well. May be some day i got ur appointment .
@theresariley1426 4 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. I am going through schema therapy and it's helped alot. One of my top 3 is enmeshment and I think that has alot to do with being married to a narcissist. We have been together for 35 years and it's like I am not allowed to have my own self. If I want privacy, then I'm secretly hiding something or cheating, etc. Then his accusations trigger me big time. it's a horribly partnership.
@hotfudgecake 11 ай бұрын
you know the more i watch these videos the more i notice narcissists and emotionally toxic parents everywhere i go. lol its actually sad and i fear for the future . like was at baseball cages practicing with my teen son the other day and a father was there with two young boys maybe 5 and 10 years old or so. they kept shaming the little one , and i kept hearing the older one apologize to his father "sorry. sorry im not good enough. sorry im not perfect for you" they were SO LITTLE im just like omg. then another time at my sons baseball game i was sitting by a mom and her teen daughter. the mom kept low key belittling the daughter "you had the worst batting avg at softball this year" "i dont know WHY you did that at the game" and shaming her, then at one point grabbed her phone from her and got into her facebook and said "this is the perfect time to spy >:)" the girl is like MOM> STOP ...... i see it everywhere now is this what its life for you in the real world dr fox? lol do you just see the blatant dysfunction everywhere you go? its so fascinatingly scary to me :/ it seems so pervasive . everyone is giong to have a CPTSD diagnoses slapped on them in a generation or two.
@JereHOTmiah 11 ай бұрын
I see the blatant dysfunction everywhere I go also. I don’t know if the world has always been this way, or if I’m just now seeing it because I’ve educated myself enough and opened my eyes. Either way it has me worried, and sad, for all the struggling people out there.
@susanpinkston3355 9 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@DrDanielFox 8 ай бұрын
You're so welcome and thank you for your kind support of the channel. It means a lot when people help support the cause of putting out honest and research based information. Thank you and be well.
@hotfudgecake 11 ай бұрын
i have all of these except the helplessness / dependence one. and maybe the enmeshment one. its crazy , im almost 40 and just now realizing all this but its definitely better late than never and everything makes more and more sense to me now. i also , looking back, see some of these traits were in my former partners . ive dated guys that spoke of some unhappy childhoods but never thought they might have BPD traits themselves. i always blamed everything on myself lol. (shocker) but that also helps me realize maybe everything wasnt my fault, we all probably have some maladaptive schemas to some degree..
@sunbeam9222 7 ай бұрын
Same. Which is comforting really. It wasn't our fault. Nor theirs. I believe everyone is already actually doing their best and we cannot act above our level of consciousness at any given time.
@janarama8029 11 ай бұрын
‘Be a Buffalo.’ Heck. Yeah.
@SaarLeestMee 7 ай бұрын
❤ thank you so much
@DrDanielFox 7 ай бұрын
You're welcome 😊
@user-yr9ls1cw8b 11 ай бұрын
Obrigada Dr. Tem me ajudado muito
@nataliemeenakshithegreat7780 9 ай бұрын
Love ❤️ from Paris thank you so much doctor
@danronen4535 Ай бұрын
Thank you.
@DrDanielFox 27 күн бұрын
You're so welcome and thank you for your kind support of the channel. It means a lot when people help support the cause of putting out honest and research based information. Thank you and be well.
@anecdotal_mattybs5435 11 ай бұрын
Currently going through a process to kick me out of university and stop me becoming a psychologist because of all this stuff. So tired of it all
@SaarLeestMee 7 ай бұрын
Thank you thank you thank you ❤
@DrDanielFox 7 ай бұрын
You are so welcome
@michaelmartin2588 10 ай бұрын
Very good.
@DrDanielFox 10 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@ayandancamphalala9904 5 ай бұрын
Dependence/incompetence. Okay i wasn't like this. I was very independent and competent. Ive worked in two schools with two principals who did everything in their power to belittle, discard and destroy every single thing i do. The gaslighting penetrated after a couple of years. This is always done in a meeting in front of colleagues. So its public humiliation. Always. At this second job several meetings have been held with me to convince me of my helplessness and uselessness. You said something about public humiliation penetrating deep into the soul. It did. I began getting anxiety attacks everytime i do my work because i knew it was wrong. Whatever i did, whether or not it is inline with policy, is wrong. So i wasn't always like this. I was made this way. Now i cannot leave these narcissistic relationships. My parents and my bosses. So the question is, how does a borderline heal while still being mercilessly and brutally abused by narcissists at home and at work.
@user-ml8ic9xv3q 6 ай бұрын
I am a highly successful individual career wise. I have good relationships with many friends and family. I also have a ton of luck getting the prettiest women around to go out on dates with me. But that's where it ends. If I get even the slightest emotional connection on a romantic level... it is inevitable that I will get stressed and push them away and immediately try to get them back. I went 5 years where I turned down so many women to maintain so that I could thrive in all other areas of life. Then I decided to get back into the dating game and BAM... well, I guess I didn't defeat BPD after all. Back to the drawing board
@DrDanielFox 6 ай бұрын
It sounds like you've accomplished a lot in your career and personal life! It's common to face challenges when it comes to romantic relationships, but don't give up. Take some time to reflect on what might be causing these patterns and work on building healthier connections. You've got this!
@greenaware8580 8 ай бұрын
Very helpful
@DrDanielFox 8 ай бұрын
Glad it helped
@thehistoricalcollaborator 9 ай бұрын
Thanks
@DrDanielFox 9 ай бұрын
You're so welcome and thank you for your kind support of the channel. It means a lot when people help support the cause of putting out honest and research based information. Thank you and be well.
@randomkiliinterviews9453 7 күн бұрын
Is there a resource that expands on this very topic extensively ? I think this goes right to the core of a lot of things ! The BPD workbooks , even the great one I have, does not go into this much at all.
@DrDanielFox 7 күн бұрын
I'm glad you found this topic so important! There are definitely resources out there that can provide more in-depth information on it.
@renus6015 3 ай бұрын
Wondeful !
Crappy Childhood Fairy
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