Not caring what theses people think is freedom from abuse

You cannot mention the pink elephant in the room but it’s your job to keep cleaning up after it.

Just existing you're going to crush eggshells on the floor. Just by existing you're going to make the narcissist upset. You can even be no contact with them, existing and living your best life, and they'd still be upset. Ain't no more eggshells over here.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step (crunch).

It’s sad that you have to say this episode of the show may seem rude or uncaring because it only shows how traumatized someone has to be to even think that way. When it gets to this point that narcissist is literally killing your soul and spirit and that is BEYOND rude or uncaring … and doing things to protect your mental health and peace.. at all costs including getting away from this person is an absolute must. When you don’t take the sound advice given here, you’re only being rude and uncaring to YOURSELF.

No matter the situation, they're forever trying to take control. If there is anything they can do to deprive you of joy, they will be happy to accommodate you.

If they are on the more astute, smart side, I have experienced that just when you start to tire of this walking on eggshells feeling, they will start to try to convince you that it is you making them feel like they are walking on eggshells. They can show up hours late to something with you when they haven't managed their time, ruined an appointment or reservation, and then complain about the place you wind up going as the replacement for the ruined plans, and when you point out you wouldn't be there if they had showed up on time they will say, "Why do I always have to walk on eggshells with you?" It can leave you stunned (and that's a real experience I've seen). It's absurd, and beyond tiresome.

I hate walking on eggshells. This is the main thing that shuts me down and destroys my soul.

They even monitor your facial expressions and draw some paranoid explanation from a smile

If there were a state or a country that had no narcissists I’d move there-and never look back. Our USA is becoming overrun by them.

I'm offended by offended people.

I wish I could thumbs up this video 10,000 times

It's more of a minefield than an obstacle course 😮‍💨

I walked away. This is my mother, MIL, and husband’s SIL. I stopped attending family gatherings bc these people take offense by everything. How is that even possible? I don’t get these people. So I walked away.

And the moment you learn to not care & move on unbothered from it, is the moment you must be eventually discarded, destroyed, replaced, annihilated. Be prepared!

Yes. I'm just exhausted with it.

I'm so happy I finally understand what's going on with them enough to shift my focus onto understanding why I have entangled with them and creating a future free of those entanglements. I'm just now realizing what my own needs and dreams are, and I'm excited for the journey ahead.

Most effective description of the insanity involved when dealing with these individuals👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

You have the deepest insight into this mal adapted personality I've heard so far. I'm greatful for your wisdom and just want to say, thank you and encourage you to keep doing what you do. Your helping people like me to make sense of the unsensible. Great works!

I've noticed those narcissistic types who have abused me have used all this crazy, chaos creating behavior to cover up the awful things they have done to me (many things I did not realize were occurring at the time until I went no contact - hindsight is 20/20) Thanks for helping us see these red flags Sindelle, so we can run away!!

nothing but facts here thank you

You are brilliant and have such a clear understanding of the subject. I feel validated listening to you! Thank you.❤️

This explains so much. Thank you, once again.

My biggest take away is learning that the terror I feel being around them, which makes no sense, because all they are doing is stonewalling me, being like ghosts in my house, is really what they are feeling being somehow transferred to me. They are actually terrified that I am trying to murder them; all I did was tell them that as guests in my house, they are not welcome to put a lock on the bedroom door to keep me out. But now I am terrified of doing anything that might cause them to rage and scream at me, like they did when I put a new lock on the front door because an old roommate had lost his house keys. So they have transferred their terror to me, locked their door, and stolen my peace as they move around freely in my house, using my appliances and utilities with entitlement, without offering to compensate me and refusing to leave or acknowledge that I exist.

It's still incredulous to me that she NAILS behavior and the pathology that fuels it EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Succinctly even!!!!! You, LS are a gem among gems!!! Gotta check out if my insurance will cover your professional services. 😔

This cleared a LOT of things up. It also is important reinforcement of living in reality whether the Narc is or not. That takes strength and belief in yourself. Thank you.

Thank You For Your Service 🌞

My narc would say these things about me. That everything he does upsets and offends me.

Great content LS , as usual you knocked it out of the park again.👏♥️🇭🇺

Abuser does not change. We do.

Wow dead on!! 😮 I use to think she was just sensitive etc but it is a nightmare to say the least… offended by everything

JUST GIVE UP! THEY CAN'T BE HELPED! Trust me I'm Multiple years in I wish I had Lil Shaman back in the day Damn

All this time I thought it was the Cult but this Behavior pops up everywhere and it's the same. You were right in one of your recent podcasts it boils down to Mental Health. That explains why no matter where you find this the behaviors are exactly the same. Huge relief! Thank you

You just explained why they're drawn to these kinds of people. They relate to the victim mentality. In my personal experience I've noticed they always cover each other. Another good way to spot them.

Absolutely Amazing podcast! this describes my ex covert narc to a T.. I especially like how you mentioned how they will accuse you of making THEM walk on eggshells - that is exactly how she made ME feel! I am the most laid back person and let her get away with her gaslighting, lying, manipulation, triangulation, and blaming for almost 3 decades. Praise God I'm divorced now 😁

This caused me to burn out 2 years or so ago and it’s taking me a really long time to get better, and it doesn’t seem like I’m going to completely recover.

“I bet you feel superior because I’m suffering” This was what I was told when I ended the relationship after a decade of being treated like dog sh$t while simultaneously walking on all those eggshells shells. shaking my damn head. Who even says something like that? Who thinks that ever? Even after all the abuse, I actually do have a special kind of pity for the mindset because it will cause nothing but misery.

Whew, i wish i had all of these resources beforehand.. geez this relationship has sent me into so much mental anguish. That physical advise was just too much for me

Talk truth tell dem Shamin.👍

In my experience, they don't have boundaries that they can even articulate. It's like walking blindfolded through a landmine. It's maddening. I had a mental breakdown and then felt guilty for that! They were always the victim!

23:55 abusers do not change 😮 at all?

I needed this. Thank you ❤️

Priceless info - should be in the schools curriculum. 🙏 ❤🌎 👻

Wow, what an amazing video. Listening to it, I was crying on the inside, as that was a description of my mother and brother 😢

Absolutely brilliant ❤

Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!! Well said, thank you LS!!!

Packed with facts @ 16:26 intense empowering and validating. You could say it's liberating too lived most of our lives in that demonic mental Asylum. Thank you for filling in all these details!

Stop caring and do you!❤❤❤ Love y'all stay strong

Oh and I realized that everyone fawns over my narc MIL. She can’t see straight because when I’m around her I stay true to me, not her anymore. Feels great. Plus it’s fun watching her go into oblivion. She can’t stand it. Then the smear campaign against me and she’s pissed that I could care less. 😊

My sister has created these conditions for me. It became so bad that wjen I moved 3hrs away, 8 years ago, I still have not invited her to my house so she doesnt rage at me.

Got tired of doin that & went no contact 😅❤❤❤

The narc has learned how to control U that way. Surprise the nark & & slip away completely. Try some other strategies but don't let the nark control U like that! 😮❤❤❤

That was excellent ❤. I listened to this and replayed and replayed different parts for 2 hrs.

Excellent video as ever and how much I remember those times. Near the end of the relationship I remember every morning making coffee and realising I didn't want to initiate any conversation. I would tactically wait for what came from her mouth and be minimalistic in my response so not to provoke. A strategy that didn't work obviously. I remember thinking one morning that living this way must have been the same for those poor souls in nazi concentration camps in that you couldn't formulate a survival strategy or live by the rules because the rules were fluid. It was a period that eroded my very self....a spiritual death. Somehow I walked away and rebuilt myself after being guided to this channel. 11.11

What makes things more difficult is the comorbid disorder(s) that perpetuate their dilusional rationality/ reality. Still all ends up with you being punished in some shape or form, conscious or subconsciously so.

Thank you so much for this topic and video. I have searched high and low to find information on this gaslighting technique. This is our experience 100%. I really can't thank you enough for the validation.

I am incredibly impressed with your understanding of and articulation about the Horrible Dynamic of Narc Abuse!! II don't know how I haven't come across you so far!! Subbing NOW!!

My father feels respect is something all people should show him but something he doesn't feel the need to expend the energy to show respect to others. He is like a human superfund toxic waste site.

Teach dem n reach dem.🤔🤣Shamin.

I have listened to this 5 times already, incredibly insightful and helpful.

How do you make the difference between having CPTSD and being a narcissist? I feel there is an overlap here, because reactions can be extreme in both cases

Yet another great video. Thank you for helping us!

InThey are always watching studying analyzing and scheming. But not just us as individuals they're always locked and loaded ready to engage in battle hunting for conflict some of us are just living a genuine life until we get ambushed. I've had to improve my vetting process to detect them sooner. Alone time is sweeter than ever.

Thank you so much Little Shaman! This is yet another amazing video from you that has helped me personally.

The Narcs I know are “One rule for me and another different rule for thee.” They want their circumstances favorable for them, and they complain. But (groan) forbid you or someone else has a request or different idea. The Narc is about their religion. Or their favorite food and way to eat it. And favorite color and style. And favorite music and volume. And favorite movie or TV show. Worst memories of the Narc I have cut out of my life: call her H (because she’s Hellish!). She is the Queen. She had her clique. Her clique go to lunch and you aren’t allowed to sit at the same table. H mocks you for eating by yourself at lunch. H mocks you got having a sensible meal, snd a healthy dessert. H mocks you for how slow and delicate you eat your sensible meal. H has to mock for reading at your personal time. That book is her book, because it looks like it. No, you just purchased it, it’s not her book. H says you are lying. You go to a social event. H show up, says loudly “They let anyone in here.” And looks at you, that you don’t belong. There aren’t assigned seating. H says you have to move, because H and her clique sits in that area. H called her clique and other favored people. You don’t know until after the fact, they went to a very fashionable restaurant. But why wasn’t I invited? Doesn’t really matter, because H would be there. H keeps mentioning how great the experience is, days and weeks later. She and her clique make little jokes about how fun it was. What is H? A 50 year old woman. She does not make more money than you or her clique. But she is well connected. She has influential friends. The other H is a 60 year old sibling, who was like this since she was a school girl, The other H is a 40 year old woman, who boasts how she quit a popular religion, and is an adherent of a unusual religion. She is so enlightened, sophisticated. I choose not to speak one way or another about her choice. She is divorced and boasts she is so liberated and free. I don’t speak anything about my significant other or relationship. It’s all walking on eggshells around these narcs.

So true.

This is golden! Thank you!

How do you stop the rumination? 11 years! I’ve finally gone NO CONTACT! But I can’t stop thinking about everything! Why I was so stupid? I don’t even recognize who I see in the mirror, I’m so angry and my usual upbeat self feels someone I use to know. I know the day I met him. My gut told me something was off, 11 years later. I’m finally gathering the pieces. I don’t want to be duped again. I’m trying not to hate all men….

Thank you. Now I know I'm not crazy!!

In my life the (male) NArc. complains to the Flying (FM) Monkey. The (female relative) Flying Monkey complains to the NARC and I hear about "THINGS" FROM BOTH OF THEM BUT IN different orders and in different ways. If I am doing something the Narc does not like I hear form the FM. If I am upsetting the FM then the Marc. hears about the awful things I am fdoing. The reality is that I lived near both of them and neither one was ever happy. It was like the (2) of them were trying to one up each other with me in the center of the troublemaking and with BOTH of them trying to CONTROL MY Behavious. and yes we are all adults, all adults!

That's a great example of not getting a job.

This made me recall Matthew 10:36. Always wondered how that would break down now I see.

I just tell them when I feel they haven't treated me right. Blame them if they are busting you over things which seem fine to everyone normal.

Narcissists see themselves as *Gods* -and therefore *they* have no boundaries. You (however) *must respect their authority* (which extends to all nations, on all subjects, at all times...) #NoContact

Excellent content

Thank you

Ive recently been ghosted by a friend i mostly kept at a distance because of his capricious outbursts that had me walking in eggshells

Instead of listing your videos as "new" maybe list the year? Thanks for the great video as always!

And of course they wait until the offending matter has receded a few points in the run of events and then get angry about the next thing you do so they aren't even really engaged by the first so called offense at all. Why is this?

Why are they terrified of reality?

I remember my oldest sister calling me and asking if I got the narcissist sister's message. I told her I had not listened to it yet and would over the weekend. She said that the narcissist sister wanted to know who wrote the poems that I had typed up for everyone - mom or dad. I told her that mom wrote them. She then asked if I wanted her to tell the narcissist sister as she was calling her later that evening. I said that she could since I wasn't going to call her until the weekend. During a narcissist rage, my narc sister complained that I had to go through the older sister because shes the mediator and she was done playing that game. Crap, there I was thinking I was being nice by having my older sister relat that information to her so she could have it right away rather than her waiting three days and I was being flayed for it. Yep, she takes everything as being against her and blames me for being the person against her. I got tired of it and went no contact in 2020.

On replay 🫶🏼✨

I get told this all the time! That I NEED TO CARE WHAT OTHER STHINK OF ME! WHAT EVERYONE THINKS OF ME. F !!!THAT!

Video started great but not all narcissistica behave like this I feel. Many narcissist do work

Not mine to fix or solve their problems or make their world ok, I’m enough just being me.

Ricepaper...

Ooooh weee

NARCISSISTS is a NO NO partner. BIG MISTAKE!

Will these people ever choose to change????

Am I narcissistic??

Is it possible that the term Narcissists could "just" be an a hole?

In short.. don't give a fuck

Irony is that narcissists are the most offensive people you’ll ever meet. It’s different rules for themselves. Everybody gets fed up eventually.

Thank you