How We Learned to Resolve Conflict: Assuming Positive Intent

How We Learned to Resolve Conflict: Assuming Positive Intent | Kier & Noémie

Рет қаралды 4,204

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for joining us on "The Sit Down Talk." We post every Saturday
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Remember, the journey of growth is one we're on together. Until next time, keep embracing the beautiful complexities of life.
Music In the vlog:
Nice Out - Dillon Sitts
Roses are Red
Violets don't Cower
The first pod in a While
That's Well Over an Hour

Пікірлер: 37

@dwaynemacklin6411 3 ай бұрын

Before I even clicked on the video I just sat there and smiled at the fact we got 4 sit down talks in the past month.Thank y’all for the beautiful conversation! Bravo y’all Bravo 👏🏾 🙌🏾 👏🏾

@hnurse447 3 ай бұрын

“ You cannot assume something that doesn’t exist. “ - Kier Gaines 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@rainicewaller6210 3 ай бұрын

Repeat offender here. So I initially started following Kier because he offered tools on how to have healthy boundaries so a conversation on how to resolve boundaries is right up my alley.

@pipesnsnowglobes8921 3 ай бұрын

Yes I definitely watches Grey's Anatomy to cry when I was grieving.

@Sweettoothfortravel 3 ай бұрын

Noemi thank you for sharing that personal story between you and kier regarding having your first child as I could relate. This podcast is soooo needed. Thank you kier and Noemi for putting out this content. Blessings

@edreanasenatus8133 3 ай бұрын

Noémie, thank you for talking to "us" who are in the relationships and see the green flags and just need a few more tools. We also didn't know each other well in the beginning and communication was not something either one of us knew how to do well when emotions were involved, but growing to understand each other and how to bring topics up makes it worth the investment like you said. Thank you both for these conversations and giving me more to think about. Also Kier, pointing out that you both process things differently is something I didn't consider before in this way. Thank you!!

@jamelliaghouse 3 ай бұрын

This was a incredible episode guys! I always appreciate your insight. and how REAL you are. Talk that talk, Noemie!

@sheenahmilligan141 8 күн бұрын

Phewwww!!!! Love this

@intherapture 3 ай бұрын

Balancing the intent versus impact and that informing interactions when hurt or harm needs to be addressed was very valuable to hear. I relate to Noemie's analytical mind, but am trying to tap into the emotional aptitude Kier has, to create harmony with self and others (Libras where yall at 😅).

@b.phenomenal 3 ай бұрын

I feel like I’m getting a free online college course! This is honestly better!!😂 I really appreciate y’all help!

@sheenahmilligan141 8 күн бұрын

Soooo relatable

@KennyBlacc5 3 ай бұрын

“Am I using this one thing as a gateway to be upset about everything that’s unfair in my life?” Wooo didn’t know my brain did that but I do now! Cause it’s like I’ll be suppressing all that to be happy with my wife but then she set me off so now I can’t compartmentalize anymore. Now having words for it, I can work on it! Thank you for that! -repeat offender

@laurenstrozier6092 3 ай бұрын

Whew I need this episode a few years ago but then again he's not a person that will do the work. I loved that y'all pointed out the green flags. It's so easy to see the red but I like the green flag approach. Y'all put a term to a lot of the things I felt and thought while cypering through my last relationship. Love that you guys are preping me for my husband.

@Millz307 3 ай бұрын

One of my fave episodes

@breeskilove4817 3 ай бұрын

Repeat offender- Intent and over correction, listening to this sit down extremely helpful. Unfortunately I am surprised when the intent was positive because so many times people may have started one way but because I didn’t set clear boundaries they’ve taken advantage. I now understand that my trigger was not being heard in childhood. Still is because now when I’m not it’s zero to 1000 in 2.2 seconds. Working on boundaries in therapy and finding my voice. Even asking what the intention is becomes helpful. Tools in my box again from the Gaines’ You two now understand that Emery was so necessary in your evolution. And thanks to her we have better versions of both of you and I’m grateful

@robriellewilliams9389 Ай бұрын

46:34 and forgiveness!!!

@ms4ever313 3 ай бұрын

One thing I noticed is that yall didn't hug us repeat offenders like yall always do and it made me feel a little strange because I'm use to it 😂😂😂😂 no but seriously I love this podcast and you both are always giving us valuable things to pay attention to, work on, acknowledge, give grace to, etc. I always come away with something that I may not have considered before, so thank you for working on yourself so you can show what it could look like if we did the same ❤❤❤

@tiffanyd58 3 ай бұрын

Thank y’all. This was on point for me

@chardonnay5715 2 ай бұрын

I love y’all. ❤

@robriellewilliams9389 Ай бұрын

❤

@aryellhenry7593 3 ай бұрын

just happy to engage and have examples of positive content and advice or, simple insight into how your videos always give me a way for me to contemplate and re-evaluate my actions, motives, my views etc.

@tierrajohnson-uzere9959 3 ай бұрын

Much needed conversations.... thanks 🙏🏾

@seirrahamilton 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for this episode. Hearing the part about being flexible with how you word what you're saying to prevent blaming and find a resolution was affirming to me because I just did it recently. Something that's new to me is the part of how assuming positive intent requires some type of foundation. It makes sense, but I hadn't known it before now. Thank you for prefacing that assuming positive intent blindly is not what you all meant and that there's more to it than that. I really enjoyed this episode and gained a lot to take forward with me.

@J.99.N 3 ай бұрын

I appreciate y'all for addressing this. Not only is it helpful. My perspective on these subjects has broaden in such a great way. Yo *air hugs* 🫂💜 to both of y'all.

@righteousroses 3 ай бұрын

I’m going to have to rewatch this several times. So many good points!

@breriley8842 3 ай бұрын

I love you guys and every episode of you do! You are such a beautiful, authentic and inspiring couple ❤️

@jada_oligray 3 ай бұрын

Biggest take away... to assume positive intent you really have to know your person. Additionally not take stuff personal is another way to lean into assuming positive intent.

@francisw3456 3 ай бұрын

Whew. I think im gonna run this back. My hubby is Noemi (implosion) I'm kier (explosion) its interesting because intent is a HUGE topic, but most often im find myself thinking about a negative intent, while my husband is the positive. Many takeaways for me to chew on

@robertamerson2 3 ай бұрын

I love y'all!!!

@mikkelware7658 3 ай бұрын

Moving pass that hurt is something man!

@lacretiaglenn2786 3 ай бұрын

Hey Family🤎🤎🤎 so glad to see your beautiful faces🤎🤎🤎

@tinacampbell327 3 ай бұрын

This was a great episode I'm currently at this stage 1 week of me and hubby not speaking. I know there is a strong possibility of positive intent, but the hurt from the responses when I told him the hurt and the root of the hurt and he basically put the intention of his choice onto me has left me hurt. But one thing I notice is this cycle of I tell him I'm hurt, he deflect or gaslight me with no validation abd then we don't talk till I go to him, he never comes to me to try resolve anything and it's a cycle that adds to the hurt. PLEASE DO A PODCAST ON THAT. 😢

@douglassfitch1746 3 ай бұрын

Yo - Kier I just saw Boobie on someone else’s short - you and her were going to Seattle - she is getting so big and now wears glasses - hey Queen he internet nieces have a great day

@pipesnsnowglobes8921 3 ай бұрын

I loved Noemie's portion at the end addressing couples who are in between. I'm severely lacking that representation.