The worst part is being in a relationship, get lost in your own darkness and hurt the person you love. They might say "I forgive you" but you'll never truly believe that. You live in a constant feeling of "I must get better so I stop hurting them" and whenever you explode again, you feel so ashamed and like a failure. I feel like everything I touch, dies.

I love how it explains triggers with "the way someone looks at their watch makes you feel unheard.." it's so much about the way I feel rejected by people's subtle actions.

To anyone reading this, I love you and I understand how you feel. Please don’t feel alone

you know, as a person with BPD what surprisingly hurts me the most? It's when you're manic and you have the energy and the desire to socialise, go outside, after days of isolation, and you are so exited to tell people all these IDEAS that you have. You expect them to be just as impressed by those ideas because they are so mindblowing. And some time into the conversation you notice that they are not following what you are saying. You notice that you are "too much" for them. So then you are trying so hard to contain yourself so that you don't freak people out, so that they keep talking to you. And it makes you feel so overwhelmingly sad(but exited for everything at the same time). That's when you want to die the most. And also that's probably when you are most likely to do it because everything seems like a great idea.

I don't know if I am alone with this, but I kind of dislike the way of saying "I am borderline". I HAVE borderline, yes. That's alright. But I am NOT my disease. I am NOT borderline. I HAVE borderline. For me that's a huge difference. Most days I can't really tell who I am, what makes me "me", but I am very sure that I am more than a diagnosis. I have those issues, and I cope with them on a daily basis but I try to find my own "me" beyond all the Borderline. Am I the only one thinking this way?

I wish more people would understand BPD. It’s a roller coaster in our own head.... constantly. It’s a nightmare

most of the time, us bpd's just want something as simple as that guy coming back to comfort us and validate us. that was so powerful. I wish i had that in my life.

he goes back. he insists, twice: when he removes the blanket and pulls her out from the bed and when he goes back to the house. this works. this is pure open manifestation of love and support and it's what we need. unfortunately in real life it's so rare...

All my borderline brothers and sisters stay strong 💙

I'm a male borderline. WE DO exist too!

Every time I encounter a video or an article or a song that doesn't picture borderline people as monsters, it makes me cry like a baby.

Does anyone else cry while watching this?

Also you forgot to mention the voices we have in our heads. You know..the ones we talk most to because they understand us the most. The ones that are always there when we need them. The ones we have normal conversations with because they understand us. Only they do.

For those who say borderlines or their loved ones don't get help need to realise that getting help is not easy! There is no cure but only DBT therapy which is not available to everyone. This disorder itself and whole lifestyle is known to be a mental breakdown. It's being in the dungeon of hell and not being able to escape or help yourself. Borderlines are not just damaged due to childhood but for some it's genetics and they haven't developed emotionally and feel emotions soo intensely that it's been said as it being equivalent to 3rd degree burns! That's very painful. Some also have ADHD, dissociation and others disorders which makes it extremely hard to get help or to turn up to all therapy appointments. DBT is not available to all anyway so no other option to get help and trying to treat borderlines who are so damaged with addictions is like expecting a miracle to happen! It's almost impossible. They are just highly sensitive souls who were designed very sensitive and emotional. The quiet borderlines are not as hard to put up with and don't have outbursts of anger. People forget some borderlines are highly empathetic as well and not all are lacking it. I understand this pain and also those of you who had to live with someone with it. You have every right to leave and to take care of your own mental health but you need to stop saying that they are not helping themselves or don't want to! No one wants to be in this prison but it's a war going on in their head and heart with their emotions that they can't escape. There's so much behind this and not what people think the disorder is about

This man is amazing! As he walked away, I was internally screaming "Do not leave her! It's not her fault!" I'm so happy he didn't.

We often speak of the drastic actions that people with BPD take, but sometimes they're not just "easily triggered" and push away "the ones they love". Sometimes they are entangled with abusive or insensitive people and they try to make it work nonetheless, because they don't have the self-esteem to walk away or set boundaries.

I would like to give you a hug , to all of you that are watching this

This explains borderline perfectly. Thank you

I'm 30 and just now starting to realize this is me (I never understood what this was). It seems that a highly sensitive child living in an environment of neglect, abuse, and constant rejection is rendered unable to trust others or themselves. We desperately want love and connectivity but do not believe we have it. Healing is possible.. I'm learning. The triggers are real. It feels like a tsunami of rejection when I sense the person in front of me finds my views and internal world "too much".. it feels like the relationship cannot recover after that.. but I am learning that long-term relationship is possible the longer I am with my husband. He is consistent and forgiving after these episodes. It's slowly rewiring my brain.

Your video has touched my soul. I’m BDP. And the people around me say I’m crazy. When in fact I just want to love them and be loved in return. I didn’t want to hurt anyone intentionally but I did hurt people around me. I hate being hot and cold. All I wanted was to be loved deeply so I could love deeply in return

I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 16. I'm 30 now. To me, my BPD is like having 2 people living in my head. 1 is rational, the other, irrational. It's a constant argument. But, I am so fortunate to have people in my life to support me, ground me even. People who refuse to give up on me or let me push them away. My heart goes out to everyone who is struggling.

Thankyou, I have no feeling of identity what so ever, 4 suicide attempts, inner rage with outbursts, feeling I am an Alien walking among people. This is not a random comment. Thankyou for your videos Not many people know about how it feels really.

"As awesome as my highs feel, I usually tend to feel low most of the time. And just like my high highs, my lows are LOW and brutal." I used to say this to a friend of mine when were in middle school (2007) i didnt even know about BPD..i was just describing my feelings to her and asking if she ever felt that way..over the years id asked other friends if they understood what i meant and no one i had asked did. I always thought i had some type of weird depression type/pattern until 2016ish which is when i really learnt about BPD and realized that my depressive moods are a symptom of my BPD.

I' am BPD and most people's around me don't even know what is a BPD !

It makes me feel like an alien and my brain is almost always in pain. This disorder needs way more attention. It's literally one of the most deadliest mental illnesses.

“the highest of high and the lowest of low”

This hits me every time I watch it, I do also have borderline and its a constant hell. This video makes me feel less alone and abandoned, thank you

The worst part about BPD is how alone and separate you feel from the rest of the world. But this video proves there are more people out there who understand every single thing I feel, and I hurt for them, because it makes me feel so worthless sometimes. But at the same time, I'm comforted by the thought that I'm not quite so alone after all.

As a recovering Borderline.... After a childhood of taking care of a self-absorbed mother, I had to "raise myself" which is still in progress... When I accept my own immaturity, these are Temper tantrums.

I have bpd and this is exceptionally accurate portrayal. Personally I feel scared to tell anyone because you feel overwhelmed with the feeling they can't help so it will be a burden. You don't understand after feeling on top of the world one moment how in the same day sometimes same hour suicidal ideation can still poor into your brain. It's baffling and it's a 24 hour a day thing to battle. I'm so glad this was short was made to help put this sense of perspective for us as well as others who may not understand it.

In the end you shut down completely. Its like all your emotions are gone. I was diagnosed at age 14 and now i am 25 and now in the past year i feel like my emotions are gone. It's like i am not living just existing. All the things i ignore and i am just existing, breathing to live. The fear of abdoment is so real i am alone. I shut everyone out.

This is it. These are my thoughts on a daily basis except for the few days when I’m “okay”. I literally think someone saying a few words about their day is a personal attack on me. But also the you keep trying part is too real. I keep trying to be normal. Until something small triggers it again. And it can be someone telling a joke. And I spiral. Even the days when I’m happy In my head I’m like “it’s only a matter of time, the darkness is coming, okay it’s here”

As a person who suffers from Borderline , I dont have the same experience about the hardest thing about this illness being interpersonal relationships. the hardest for me is my self-identity, how I view myself and feel about myself and the perspective of life in general, then comes dysregulation on its highest where my emotions can shift from one second to the other making me depressed, frustrated, furious or just downright despaired from hours till days, till months on and on and on. and then yes I have trouble with my responds/ outburst when im triggered by other people, but its not the main issue of my suffering, thats definetly just dysregulation and a very unstable/destructive sense of self in general, so I find it intresting that most people define it as interpersonal relationsship is the main issue, which is not always the case for all people who have bpd.

I am BORDERLINE and I'm not ashamed. I felt this video so much and it made me cry so hard

i have many borderline traits. 3 attempts, self injury, emptiness, background of trauma. i also have bipolar. i have been fighting as hard as i can to not harm myself since my dad’s suicide in 2018.. unfortunately i began dating a narcissist shortly after his death. i couldn’t have known. .. i don’t know how i’m going to even start putting the pieces back together. imagine that couple in the video.. except while i’m practicing self control and breathing through my significant other’s verbal abuse/narc rage... HE actually lunges for the knives out of nowhere and says “you’re so fucking crazy i should probably take these away”.. i showed up at his apartment after an ugly episode the night before where he hung up on me screaming “shut the fuck up,” when i told him i deserved more support on father’s day (the day prior to all) and i completely spiraled out as a result. i asked if he could just hold me a little and if we could talk out our argument bc i felt so triggered and bad. i was crying softly and apologizing for the night before even though i shouldn’t have been.he started listing the reasons why i was “pathetic” and wrong . i started wailing and fell to the floor. begging him to be reasonable. screaming and asking how he could put someone he loved through this stress when he had promised to be there. he had sworn never to insult my mental health again. he had sworn that we would last bc he was doing the work, saw what was wrong and only wanted me. i was devastated. he told me if i didn’t get up he’d call the cops. i asked him what he’d even say. he then dialed them up and explained to them that a strange woman had broken into his apartment. i ran into the stairwell of his apartment bldg and curled up into a ball. i couldn’t think of anything except dying. the balcony. the traffic. blades at the nearest pharmacy. i waited for the police and asked them to go to a psych hospital. i spent the hardest, emptiest, most gut wrenching two weeks of my life there... just steeped in the rejection of the man who told me i was the love of his life. my family was angry at me for ever going back to him in the first place and i was met with criticism when i first got a chance to speak to my closest relative. this is a very real disorder you cannot always depend on your significant other. more often than not BPD disposes us to predators who feed off of the instability, heightened empathy, fear of abandonment,neediness... i guess the guy in the vid could’ve just been a friend.. but damn i wish there was more stuff out there of bpd victims putting themselves in a safe space despite the inner turmoil and self hatred raging inside. that is the hardest part. we get thrown into survival mode and our reptil brains start making all the decisions for us based on emotions (extreme and more often than not, self hating). we aren’t reptiles. we have such complex egos and relationships with ourselves. it’s because we are so complex emotionally and intellectually that we are at risk when we live like “reptiles”. i say f*ck that lizard. i say.. if you’re most primal brain is a lizard, then don’t let it hijack your behavior when your intellectual brain is overwhelmed or dealing with stress

This is my partner of 3 yrs...the love of my life! I started to see things weren't right and have stood by her, through everything all the chaos all the pain she was in, the utter turmoil in her soul all the hate towards me even though I know she loves me..Deep down she loves me and trusts me But she feels bad for how she treats me...she hates herself for what she puts me through But I still want to be with her I Can't Abandon Her! She needs my comfort and I love it when she's asleep at peace and content and I can cuddle her... I stoke her head and I tell her we can fix this... But things are getting worse and she's getting me in trouble she's so violent towards me at times I'ts utterly heartbreaking... She blames me for her own faults but I know that's a defense mechanism I don't blame her for anything. I know who she is and that she has BPD I've done so much research hoping I can help. I Feel Like I Have Failed Her... I'm terrified for her and worry she will be put in a hospital or ward! I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore..... It's Killing Me :-(

Every single time I watch this, I cry... I am a borderliner, and this video is so important.

I can relate to everything thing in this video, from the slightest knock that sends me in to a spiral of anger and self hate to the thoughts of ending it all. Just knowing that I'm not alone makes it that little bit easier. Thank you for making this video. Much love, Gary, North East England x

Iv never broke down so hard watching this, I suffered from intense emotions that were invalidated for years and it drove me to be very antisocial, my husband is the only thing that has kept me sane and he has no idea how much that means to me.

Holy shit. It’s so weird watching this knowing this is exactly what you feel. Then it’s scary because you’re not just crazy. Something is actually wrong. The part where it says you’re pushing the ones you love away while the voice inside your head is telling you to stop, is so real. When I have these outbursts towards my husband, usually over the smallest of things, I can hear myself screaming and being irrational but the rational voice in my head is screaming JUST STOP YOURE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE but I can’t, the urge to get my point across with anger is so strong

Jesus christ almighty........... as someone with BPD this truly ... truly touched my soul.. Thank you

Any adopted BPD's? I know it effects nearly half of all adoptees. I've always felt a strong, gnawing, void inside, no matter how hard I try to fill it (usually with self destructive / impulsive behaviors, substances, and relationships that wind up being toxic, traumatic, and/or abusive.) which temporarily masks the symptom. Sorta like putting a bandaid over a wound that never heals. My whole life I've longed to meet my biological parents and older brothers, just knowing they're out there and I may never get to is a reality that I havent been able to accept. I have so many unanswered questions that it feels like i'm constantly searching for my identity. When I think I find it, it changes and I'm back to feeling like a blank canvas again or like a chameleon trying to blend in so people cant uncover the defective, emptiness I try to keep locked away. Although, in my experience BPD's are some of the most empathetic people on the planet because they simply crave to love and be loved. Infact, their emotions are often more heightened (as well as their intuition, that was instilled at an early age.) Once they fall in love with someone, that love knows no bounds. They would move mountains and pluck all the stars from the sky for this person if they could. They connect very quickly and wear their heart on their sleeve. Even in shittie relationships, they will stick it out till the bitter, brutal end. Perhaps the idea of love is still better than being alone. Anyone else struggle with the void? Is there a way to overcome it? I believe my closure lies with finding my birth parents, and getting to know them. In turn healing the inner child/core, self discovery, and completion of sense of self.

This made me cry. I wish everyone could see this. I’ve had the shittiest day of my life as of now only because I can’t control my ups and downs or my impulsive thoughts... I hate this 😔

Watching this hurts cuz I see myself in this video. The deep sense of pain, fear of abandonment, feeling unlovable and worthless. Powerful and beautiful! ❤️

it's painfully accurate but also vague enough others may be able to understand.

I cant explain how this made me feel, it is just beautiful.

This is what goes on in my mother's mind everyday, she too suffers from BPD..... This is also what goes on in the mind of someone who suffers from Complex PTSD as well.

I cried, then cried seeing other people commenting saying they cried too. When you grow up with other people telling you to be less sensitive, to stop taking things so seriously; when you grow up feeling so guilty because you hurt people even though you don’t want to; when you feel empty and weird and exaggerated and then after years you finally get diagnosed... I don’t know how it is for other people but for me, it’s like taking a breath after a long time of holding it. It’s not my fault, I’m not crazy, I’m not the only one. Yes, the things I’ve done I’ve performed myself but now I can know it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t know. And now I do. Now I know what to move towards to, what to work with. It’s not my fault.

Thoughts of suicide feel like a warm blanket. So true.

I've never felt so understood as I did while watching this. I cried. Thank you.

My mom has this condition. Growing up with her was absolute hell. There were times where her emotional abuse drove me to self harm or crave death. Once I was old enough to gain true independence (financial), she had a mental break down which triggered her hyperthyroidism, and I was the only person in her life willing to get her through it. It took many months of medicine and lots of therapy, but she got through it and now we have a decent relationship. I still can't get too close to her emotionally and have to limit the time we spend in person (more than 2 days and things get toxic), but overall we enjoy each other's company and like to do things together. I think more than anything what improved our relationship was me removing her ability to control and manipulate me. Now that she doesn't have to worry about taking care of me *and* she is unable to hold things over my head, she's a much nicer person. I've also had to force myself to deal with my resentments towards her and my senses of inadequacy as a daughter, and learn to appreciate her and our relationship for what it is. We've both come a long way. Edit: Something else that helped her was me really bugging her to pursue positive structured activities and meet friends, old and new. I also bugged her to sign up for a therapist and go regularly. Now she sees her therapist once a week (honestly not a bad idea for most humans), she goes to church, she has a book club, and meets up with a friend or two every couple weeks. Now that she has her own things going on and doesn't rely solely on me for attention/interaction, she's so much happier and is even too busy to talk to me sometimes! I'm really happy for her.

I AM BORDERLINE

I have never felt so understood as I do right now

Pushing people you love away, being triggered by every single thing, thinkting that you have your live under control and then being triggered and leaving everything are the things I also have

It’s like a bomb. You’re the bomb. You feel it ticking away, but no one else hears it. You’re screaming and trying to warn them all, but they don’t see you, they can’t hear you and you’re just covering your ears hoping to anything it doesn’t go off, not today, maybe tomorrow.

A girl suffering from BPD broke my heart today; I don't know why I'm even sharing it with the "world", maybe I just need to let it out.. Still, despite that, I'd like to ask you to never give up on yourselves… You also have a place in this world. I know you're wonderful individuals, I've got to see it with my own eyes. So, please… Please, keep fighting for yourselves, you are strong.

I have BPD and this brought me to tears almost straight away. so perfect

This made me cry. I really needed to see this. Thank you.

its actually sad how much I started crying after watching this. because this is what I suffer from. I have bpd and nobody understands, thank you for this video

I didn't even watch the video but just hearing this made me instantly break into tears it was like on a soul level.

As someone that was diagnosed with Borderline this is pretty spot on! It makes me feel less alone and comforted in a way that others go through it.

this is 100% me, but my therapist refuses to diagnose because she "doesn't believe in labels" as though not labeling it somehow makes it not real.

"relationships are the hardest", "you find yourself pushing the ones you love the most away". So true.

My BPD kicking my arse lately, it half 2 in morning and watching short films like this to try and tell my brain I ain't alone

I have finally a way to describe myself without having to cry myself away or feeling insane. "Its just in your head" isnt easy to get told. But this.. thank you

From a sufferer of borderline to the makers of this video - THANK YOU, thank you, thank you.

The one thing I hate the most is doing things and you don’t realize the consueqences

I like how they touched on a feeling that i used to have : " i am fundamentally unlovable ". I think that's the hardest part...

it's like an emotional roller coaster

recently accepted im bpd and this was the easiest to show my friends and family to understand me, they do a lot better now, i think, i hope, that's what they say at least. thank you

This makes me so sad, my ex has this although not diagnosed, she ended our relationship and everything in this video describes her, it’s been so hard to be there for her but constantly pushed away, nothing makes sense, she is so vulnerable with me and can’t let me go of me but I’m so upset at the loss but she wants me to be “there” for her, I’m so compassionate and empathetic and I’m finding it all a struggle. I love her so much

It's not the same but I am bipolar & I offer my understanding & ❤️ to you!!

I know this so well, knowingly I have lived with this for 18 yrs, I ignored the first Diagnoses in rehab, then again in 2012 when I lost everything again, and agin I wanted to die. Unknowingly I always thought I was wrong, possessed by a demon, things just didn't feel right ever, but most was covered up by drugs or drink, being crazy and insanity. Now I'm on the edge of something bad, and I'm waiting for the doctors and therapist to get to me before hell breaks lose.

Absolutely adore this. I was diagnosed with BPD and a few other things a few years back and so many people I talk to just don't understand it. Watching this makes me feel a little less alone about it

You are your own worst enemy but please realise at the same time ...you sure as hell can be your own best friend . You almost have to consistently choose that option for yourself ., every day , every minute , every second ....Unfortunately no one else can do that better for you . I struggle everyday too but these reminder help me . I hope it helps others

I think i can share my story here: I always felt abnormal and different ever since I was little. With 3 years I stood in front of the mirror and cried because I hated what I saw and that I was limited to what I saw. I never had a real relationship and I knew from a young age on I had Identity issues. Then one day, I met someone at the gym and I feld so comfortable with him. He later told me, he was borderline and bisexual and that he was interested in me. That made me question my sexuality. being with him made me feel normal, but I never concidered myself gay. We were so similar, in every way I could imagine and with him, I did not feel abnormal anymore. The gave me promition to be the way I am. ... He wasnt good with relationships either so he moved and left me empty. That was the worst time of my life. It felt like he took a big part of me with him. And I could not reach that part , because he was ghosting me. What followed was alot of drug and alkohol abuse, selfharm and bad thoughts. So I went so see a therapist. After month he told me I was borderline too. and Im in therapy ever since. Please forgive me the typos. im german and its verry late and actually I should be in bed by now XD

i am a borderline. i have watched this many times, and i cry every time. makes me realize I AM NOT ALONE. And thats a huge deal for me. when i talk to people about bpd, i send them a link to this video because it describes everything i feel and suffer through in a way that i could never explain, i could never find the words. thank you for this video.

I have borderline personality disorder and after 2 years of being diagnosed I am still learning about my condition its hard to explain it to people and it hard to accept it

I am a borderline and I suffer with complex PTSD. This describes my everyday so accurately, I wish more was done to raise awareness of this cruel disease as not many people I know have even heard of it let alone know what it does. Thank you for making this video 👍

this made me cry. ive been suffering for years and finally was diagnosed this year. learning how to manage. it’s exhausting but i want to be healthy and good.

I've watched this a few times now, and not only does it describe how I am every day, it brings me to tears, every time. I didn't ask for this.

Wow, it was like living my life story, every word, every thought, every impulse within myself! For the first time in five years, I have found someone outside my therapist who gets and understands my BPD! Thank you for your effort in bringing out mental health awareness.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was a teen. All my life I've been told that even that is only because of my laziness, I simply don't want to be happy. Years after years I felt worse and worse. I become more and more sure that is not a simple depression anymore... Sometimes I even feared I'm going crazy for sure... No one understands me...I already suspected for sometime now... This video made me burst out crying, it hit home hard, I couldn't express more accurately what I'm going through day by day...

"You are warrior in dark forest" ths linestruck me

I cried so much, finally someone understands me, finally you know, someone knows what its like, its like this, and so much worse, this is so accurate, im so happy im not alone, im keeping this video forever, thank you so much, my gratitude is infinite, thank you. For once I dont feel alone.

This video comes from such a loving and empathetic place. It’s rare to see things on borderline that don’t treat the person with this disorder as just an emotionally stunted spoiled brat. There is such a stigma with this disorder, and other ones such as NPD, OCD, and Bi polar. Thank you for this work of art!

First video project about bpd with whom I actually agreed in 100%... But its so much painful for me

Watching this makes me feel understood when i think that no one understands me

I am in tears. I feel like I just watched my own life unfold in front of me. I've been able to use coping mechanisms better for the past 8 or so years, but due to incredible stresses I feel the tornado inside starting to overwhelm these defenses once again. I'm not going to wait so long this time around; I needed the reminder that there is help out there, and if I could benefit from it once, I can again. Thank you so much.

I have BPD and struggle with everything in life. I am lost in the dark...

"Your a warrior in a dark forest with no compass and are unable to tell who the real enemy is". I hate this the most about myself. By the time I've realized what I've done its to late. Borderline is hell but we have a sense of compassion, understanding, and love that's incomprehensible. Its a blessing and a curse that I love so much about myself during my highs. But destroy everyone else with my lows..

I am completely alone and terrified. Everyone leaves and there's no one left. In a way it's easier but I miss having a hug

I have never related to anything so much in my life.

watching this is so fking painful to me bc this video is describing me exactly and what I've been going through and the sad part is I can't go to therapy nor my friends and family know or even care about what I'm fighting against for almost four years. I'm afraid of what's coming and I'm even more afraid of that i can kill myself any minute

I lost it at the part where she grabbed the exacto knife because the last time i relapsed i used an exacto knife and the cuts were really bad and i genuinely thought i wasn't gonna make it, but i can relate to this so well. and to anyone who comes across this comment. i am here for you.

I feel Amplified and muted Myself and no one at all Better one day On the floor the next Ready to plan my life Dead and lost without direction Ever striving for perfection Reluctant to seek help Love for those I push away Instantly Not at all Everything at once

When you can´t find words to describe feelings, thoughts and mind: this really helps to put a vision of the storming brain in many cases. Thank you, thank you so much.

this made me tear up cause its so me.. i am borderline.

My daughter almost kill me with her behaviour. No affection , no empathy , anger , agression , verbal abuse .. Can't see my grandson . I don't have no one !

I understand. It is tough for the BPD, but just as tough for the people you love. My BPD refused treatment and she destroyed us. With the dissociations and cheating, I never knew who I was dealing with.