“Everything I think doesn’t need to be a public statement.” A message for our generation. 👏🏾

Just watched about a minute but let me tell you ... you’ll never be cancelled by me 🤷🏽‍♀️

EEEVVVEELLLYYYYNNNNN !!!!! Look at you uploading like three times this year!!!

we are all hypocrites to an extent. dont beat yourself up. thats the beauty of life, we live, grow and evolve.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that talks to myself like that! 😄 I say to myself: "Self" And myself be like: "Ooh what you wonderin?"

I feel like Evelyn uploads when that rent is due...I’m here for it. Love u boo

OK SO LIKE I definitely used to be on some “respectable girl” type stuff until my absolute FAV at the time Lupe Fiasco had a song called “Bitch Bad” and I was like HOL UP HOL UP! I feel A Type Way™️ about this. And then through my own research I learned (and am STILL learning) how we talk about women’s bodies, choices, and how our society decides who is worthy of respect. #themoreyouknow

I have to constantly remind myself that all my thoughts don’t need to verbalized.

This is my problem with social media and this call out culture- it leaves little to no room to evolve, especially if the journey is not explicitly documented for the public.(as you mentioned) We all grow. Unlearn things and learn new things. That is life. Yes, some past actions should result in harsher consequences but social media armies are so quick to decide who has access to redemption and who doesn’t, in such a black and white manner when in reality life is nuanced.

My Facebook TimeHop is constantly reminding me about ALL my problematic high school days🤦🏿 good thing I'm a nobody!

I found that "respectability politics" is really high-brow bullying and passive-aggressive shade throwing.

Was about to judge u about not boycotting racist establishments but I have been to Starbucks like twice since that shit happened. (Struck down by lightening)

Yo this is real talk. I noticed that I was wasting time calling people out on the internet and when I examined further, I realized it was a way for me to express my anger and feel right in doing so. I was never doing it to help make change or make my community better. I never called anyone out in real life. I would just go online and scream at ppl because of misplaced anger. Now I try to spread positive information online about how to help, how to make change.

I definitely used to be a "i'm color blind," "we're all one race...the human race" ass shawty but learned how that was rhetoric used to ignore my own experiences, the experiences of other people of color, and remove any accountability from white supremacy and whiteness. There are still things i'm unlearning. It's all a process and I'm just glad I'm less trash today than I was this time last year

So....... we not going to address the real reason you’re problematic #uploadingonceeverysixweeks. Jk Evelyn I appreciate whenever you upload 😬

"that's me trying to paint with all the colors of the wind" 😂😂

i learned very quickly that not every conversation is a teaching moment or an opportunity to voice opinions!!! sometimes people just want to vent and have absolutely no use or appreciation for your point of view in that moment. They get frustrated, an argument ensues and next thing you know you both are not talking to one another!! silence is golden and very often your greatest protection!!

Lol the costume is hilarious

I never do call outs what I do instead is examine my emotions towards thing that irritate me or let it be known which behavior I won't tolerate. I think that to some that maybe a call out be for me it's defending my inner peace. I just had a conversation about this over a recent fb post. I don't cancel people I cancel train of thoughts. We all have room to grow. No need to through people away.

"I almost deleted my twitter, on site" lmboff!!

GAAAAAAH this was so great! I'm all for people being more upfront about their mistakes and how they've grown, I genuinely think it's the first step in encouraging others to also do the work of owning their shit. As for your question, I was also an Indian in Peter Pan *oof* and there are SO MANY photos. Burn them all. I've also had to work really hard at not getting defensive when I've been called out. I tend to be really sarcastic and so that was my go to response which is really condescending and shitty. I really regret how I responded to some people in the past who're brave enough to be honest with me and instead of trying to see where they were coming from I was dismissive and rude. Combine that with the internet where everyone is looking for a viral clapback....and it's a disaster. I know I turned off supporters and potential supporters because of those shady and defensive responses, but it's something I've made a commitment to work on and I feel better for it. Thanks so much for starting this conversation, leading by example AND for giving me and #WTEQ a shout out!

Oh I was so judgemental about folks and their kids. How they raised them, how if they didn't do something right it was the parents fault never mind the fact that kids are small adults with minds of their own and sometimes won't follow what you say no matter what. Yeah, well I'm in my 11th year of raising one of my own and I'm just trying to keep my edges intact. Between his own exploration and curiosity about the world and me trying to keep him safe from the dangers of it, I've been applying Wild growth oil daily😭😭

Please make a podcast please!!!

LMAO!!! Omg, Evelyn, Always a joy girl, alway a joy. I'm dead @1:31 seriously tho. 💀💀💀

I love how this is hypothetical damage control 😂😂 but I understand what you’re saying :)

I think it’s all about how you’ve changed and how you react to your old problematic ways. Most people aren’t apologetic and haven’t learned from their old ways. That’s the difference

I refreshed my youtube homepage and what do i find? What do i find? An Evelyn video and it is newly uploaded! I know today is going to be a great day!

Nobody does an Audible recommendation like Evelyn

I love the honesty. This whole "canceling" business is counterproductive. And imo its becoming almost bullying. When you know better, you do better. Alot of times in our pasts, we didnt know any better.

I love the way Evelyn talks. Not just the accent but the words she uses and the way she uses them. Being serious/real but funny at the same time and I don't see ANYTHING wrong with cosplaying as someone who isn't the same race as long as you ain't painting your damn face the colour you aren't ygm

I was a respectability warrior 🤦🏾‍♀️ AMEN FOR GROWTH .

"When you know better, ideally, you do better." - Evelyn I like that

We all out here still trying to learn. Franchesca’s chapter about calling out vs calling is was great. Loved this vid!

I took an 8 month social media break and came up with exactly this video. Thank you for making it.

I was super judgemental of people who got divorced (I thought they were failures) and then I got divorced and I saw how difficult of a decision it was. #superreal

I GOT A FEW LOL Years ago, I used to have the opinion that pansexuality is a trend and that people who claimed it were attention-seeking. Now I'm like...why was I so concerned about people exploring/declaring their sexuality?? I hadn't even come to understand my own sexuality yet, which should have made it obvious that it can be fluid and that it's valid in every phase. I'm so glad I never shared that take with anyone until now lol

yessssss. She was a "Knuck if Buck"! I love how you just so casually used that phrase, that's that Southernplayalisticadillac funky music. I'm a modest dresser and not for a religious purpose, I use to judge people and they way they dress. MEN and WOMEN...but now, i'm like okay. whatever. I got tired of people saying it was okay for big girls to wear their arms out and I would have to tell them. I wasn't always big , but I always was a modest dresser even as a child. I realized I shouldn't judge people for wearing what makes them comfortable.

When you whispered "isn't that cosplay?" I nearly spit out my food😂😂😂

“Everything I think doesn’t need to be a public statement.” 👈🏽 Thank you for this message. I've grown tired of the Cancel Culture. You can't enjoy anything without someone saying well that's bad because blah blah blah. It's draining to keep the list of who, what, where is cancelled. Also, we need to let folks grow and get better. It may take more time for some folks. An shining example of growth is Jay Z.

The motivation for the call out is important. Is it to splash your "mistake" all over the internets or is it to start a conversation or highlight how things have changed (or not).

I decided to teach other caregivers and people tips about how to care for dementia folks -- like my mom -- instead of being angry about their fear and ignorance. Makes me feel better, and helps others at the same time.😊

Anyone remember that Kony 2008 situation we was all posting on fb??? To this day I don't even know what it was about or why I was posting it. I've learned to do research before jumping on the bandwagon. *cringe

Evelyn u hit the nail on the head about being problematic and accountability is how I feel. Like I have for real stopped enjoying things due to it being problematic and also have avoided being seen w/ something that is problematic bc of the thought of being canceled. But now its like-- ok as long as I am not ignorant in the fact that it is problematic I can enjoy the parts of the media that aren't problematic or I can enjoy it despite its problematic traits. Additionally unfortunately there is no ethical consumption under modern capitalism. Just bc Jeff Bezos is an awful individual, I can't stop using Amazon for things like textbook rentals and prime videos bc there are no other accountable online purchasing websites available and shipping is free. Just bc Uber's CEO was awful that one time doesn't stop me from using uber when the same car ride on lyft costs 3x as much. There are some things I can avoid from purchasing like Barilla pasta, Ever stepping foot into a Salvation Army, not ordering papa johns pizza (but still eating it when someone else buys it), Jelly Bellys etc. However I don't judge someone if they do these things, maybe inform them on how shitty the company is to someone that doesn't know. But regarding just doing better, I feel I have learned a ton regarding problematic racial misinformation that I have been taught from my not so racially friendly Indian relatives. Like I just cringe at shit I thought was ok from not knowing better and not being taught how I was problematic. I try to extend this consideration to others bc some people are extremely misinformed and just don't know better.

"I love a good flip flop" DED😂😂 Real talk I love all of your tidbits of wisdom that are oh so effortlessly wrapped in transparency and and humor. Thank you! 👏🏾👏🏾

Bbbbbrrrrrruuuuuuuhhhhhhh I’m dying😂💀 it is so refreshing to see someone just being genuinely real and genuinely funny not on here being fake for the gram or for KZfaq

Your skin is glowing Evelyn 😍😍

Loved this. Very thoughtful. As a professor, call out culture makes discussions kny classroom challenging. I have to spend alot of time reinforcing that it is okay not to know something and be learning new perspectives. Not too long ago made a comment that offended someone with a physical disability. I was being ableist. They kindly corrected me and genuinely appreciated it. I was ignorant in my statement and we had a great conversation.

I boycotted Dean and Deluca for over 10 years. One day I was using my credit card there and the bill came to $24.96 the cashier said that I couldn't use my card because it was under $25. I did the LET ME SEE A MANAGER thing, got my groceries. and didn't go back for over 10 years. Well I lifted the ban, I realized their bottom line had not changed and well the service and charge card minimums had...maybe I wasn't alone in my boycott.....but I felt righteous in my fight for .......what ever I was fighting for.

Okay I got one. When I was 17, I was at a college party. A person could be heard vomiting in the bathroom. I had a whole argument with another person in the bathroom line that there's "obviously" a girl vomiting in there, where the other person was adamant that there's actually a guy vomiting in there. I was new to Austin, fresh out of high school in a very sheltered suburban community, and I had never been introduced to the concept of transgendered people before. #whenyouknowbetteryoudobetter

“Everything I think doesn’t need to be a public comment” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 so true, I can’t have a Twitter because reading thousands of thoughts and opinions of random people who may or may not even be informed on what they’re speaking about became too much for me. I started basing my opinions off of opinions of others instead of off of facts. Great video

When she plays that "I'm not perfect clip" with her accent 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I tear up laughing everytime

Yo I’ve said a LOT of casually racist things on TUMBLR of all places and boy let me tell you I got DRAGGGGGEEEDDDD by black Tumblr. I was scared for my life. I also was very ace and bi phobic for a while and got dragged for that too. I’ve learned a lot since then and have changed my views completely, all that was almost 7 or so years ago! I’ve also been part of the dragging committee and it feels so good to be part of that. But I think we should understand that people change and we should come to them with patience and understanding (in most cases) and realize that change takes time and they don’t always get it right the first time, but maybe they’ll change! It’s so hard to know who will or won’t. I guess we should always give the benefit of the doubt? Hmm...

Sooooo a couple of weeks ago I was looking through videos I posted on Facebook. Roughly 10 years ago, there is a video of my son saying "aw s@#+", and I was laughing HYSTERICALLY!! I am a middle school teacher. I deplore parents that do that, so to know that I was once that parent. 🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾 ironically, I didn't erase the video. I just made it so only I can see it. After all, he is still my kid and his little 1 year old face is ADORABLE!

I’m an Air Force vet and proud to be in this country. Funny so many people who “hate” being here have not set up a go fund me account to leave. I’m a black woman with a career in the same thing I learned in the military. 17 years now. People have so much “selective outrage”.

1. I love you 2. I realize that we have never met, and it’s weird for me to say that so casually. 3. Your point of view and ease in explaining difficult topics is refreshing, and an amazing reference to show others, which I often do. #sharingiscaring 4. Thank you for helping me learn... and learn others. Teach. Teach others.

“Thats me..trying to paint with all the colors of the wind” 😂🤣💀 I’ve literally rewound the video from 1:30-1:34 (7x) Am I the only one waiting for Evelyn to come out with Audio Books or seeing her on the big screen. Thanks sis for the content and convo! My forever mantra is “You are confined only by the walls you build yourself” knowledge really is power and ignorance is not bliss. I try to purposely live and think outside of the boxes we’ve been taught and do better

True so many people are getting cancelled for one bad media posts. Forgiveness is out the window. Punishment is key.

I'm only like thirteen seconds in, but I'm gonna slide down in these comments and just say: Thank you SO much for uploading today. The noise that came out of my mouth when I saw your thumbnail did not sound human lol. I'm from Texas (idk if you know the Allen/McKinney area but that's my old stomping grounds) but I'm in California studying political science and sociology, and this week has been so flippin' hard. Watching the news about the atrocities happening to innocent children in my home state, discussing them in classes, and trying to do as much as I can from so far away has been so draining and heartbreaking. Seeing your upload made me genuinely smile for the first time in almost a week. Your channel is my go to for a pick-me-up whenever I'm in my feelings. You never fail to make me laugh and feel better about the world. :) Annnnnyways, I'm going to get back to watching the video. Sorry for getting so serious; I just wanted to let you know that you're wonderful and you totally made my day.

I feel you on so many levels. I’ve always feared fame because I don’t know what may come out. I literally deleted my Facebook and waited two years before I could return to KZfaq. Now I just have to pray that there aren’t screenshots out there. As many people have mentioned here, we all have something. Learning is the best part

When I learned that a phrase I had grown up with, which contained no buzzwords (or so I thought), was steeped in racial persecution. When I was made aware, there was no digestion period, or need for explanation beyond the initial explanation, it instantaneously clicked. I was horrified, and have never used it again.

Used to be all judgemental, saying "not my kid" ... never say never! Because, yes it "was my kid" humble pie is hard to swallow sometimes 🌹

I absolutely have your voice in my head whenever I do any of this crap and I'M GLAD I'M NOT ALONE. "I'm not perfect. I never said I was perfect!"

I totally agree that call-out culture is backfiring on itself by creating pressure to be perfect, to never ask any questions, and to shy away from conversations that include anyone who has not been heavily trained in the art of speaking "unproblematically".

Can I just go ahead and cancel all of my ~pre-2014~ self ?

COME THRU 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 you just said EVERYTHING that I’ve been wanting to scream out to people. Call out culture is also a form of violence and divisive. There is nothing inclusive about it. So while people are all pumped up on their social justice juices they forget that people are warranted a learning curve and time to grow on their own time. Making someone feel shame is not going to do that. It’s just going to ostracize that person further. And no if you’re someone who is learning and isn’t “there yet” I don’t want you to leave I want you to stay and I want you to keep coming back. There are other ways to hold people accountable.

Um, I wore the nation's uniform on active duty for 13 years and saluted the flag. I love being genuinely patriotic. This is our country too. We built it with our blood, sweat, tears. I come from a family of military service. Black military veterans have been leaders in the nation's civil rights movement. That is nothing to be ashamed of. We continue to try to make our country better.

I don't support/buy from none of the problematic companies..... not because I'm boycotting, more so because I'm broke

In middle school I used to use the word "f****t" to describe someone I thought was being stupid/silly. Which I had totally forgotten about until I read my old journals in horror. HORROR. Like I wrote that shit down and didn't think twice about how awful it was. I'm still embarrassed. Hopefully I continue to learn and grow.

We all eat chic-fil-a okay. We know they trash but gotdamn it the service is good and the food is too.

Right on! We all reserve the right to be human, to be wrong, to change our minds at any time!

Secondly, yes... yes it's so true that we're in a time of living inside our own little boxes of voyeurism (thanks to the internets) and lack of accountability... lack of self-awareness, too much damn criticism, too much readiness to kick the legs out from under other people. It's all a perpetuation of insecurity and narcissism. The world needs more people keeping it real and being humble.

Any time I wanna talk about someone my mind IMMEDIATELY drags up the time I yelled 'That's weird!' about trans ppl in the middle of my high school cafeteria, and I shut my mouth 🤐 that was over four years ago. People change, and I think we need to remember that.

yeh, I clicked it. It's on me. ... I mess up all the time. And nobody is harder on me about that than myself. I have been judgy toward others, but it has been loving, forgiving people who have lovingly and forgivingly presented me with an alternative view that got me to stop. You can teach someone about forgiveness by forgiving them.

I WAS HELLA PROBLEMATIC on tumblr. I dont even go there anymore. I was super deep in call outs and witch hunts. My faves leaving tumblr for twitter showed me the way in response to the toxicity

i was eating chick fil a while watching this

Love this! I too am a complicit consumer (H&M is in my humble ass price point right now). But it’s always great to be reminded that we should extend patience and grace (within reason, obvi bc some folks are trash/toxic), but that’s easy to forget in the age of cancel culture. I always reflect on this quote by Malcolm X (who also had problematic ways about him, ironically): “Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today.”

Evelyn there’s a search feature on Twitter. Search your @ and literally every problematic word possible and DELETE EVERY SINGLE ONE.

You are so beautiful man your brain is precious! I need to marinate on this for a little bit

This channel speaks to my soul. 👌

I have a very specific thing I did when I was 19 years old that comes to mind. I didn't see how me demanding that someone speak "their truth" was taking their voice away. I stupidly thought I was empowering them to be themselves. But really I was bullying them into admitting things they weren't ready to do. Now I mind my damn business and try not to comment on someone else's life or lies unless asked. Dont drag me

The weird thing about being "problematic" and "call out culture" is that it doesn't allow any room for forgiveness or growth. People change. People can correct themselves later. But folks are so focused on the PAST mistakes instead of the present correction. This is why I don't like social media. It's a static reminder of our past selves that is open and free for anyone to nitpick. It completely disregards present truths. We should be allowed to make mistakes and have bad opinions because it's a part of growth. That being said... I once supported PETA. Once. Then I realized how awful they are at the core. (Some people will fight me on this.)

My learning curve... I was VERY hostile and VERY self-righteous towards Yes campaigners during the Scottish independence referendum... I was 17 at the time and ran blistering columns in the school newspaper in my mini media monopoly as editor-in-chief including a school-wide poll, I slammed people on twitter and facebook with arrogant economic diatribes, I even took a photo of my postal ballot literally standing in the middle of Westminster bridge with the Houses of Parliament in the background... now, 4 years later, if we had a second referendum tomorrow, I would be voting Yes 😬

I’m a lot more forgiving of mindsets than actions. People can change. Harassing or threatening a person is different than saying something bigotted; especially many years ago.

In answer to your question, accepting that not everyone has to like you, and people who don't like you aren't automatically haters. It's not that deep I've never heard the term call out culture (but I don't be on the internet like that) On number 1, where is the line drawn between cosplay and cultural appropriation? I have my own opinions on it but whatever. There's levels to it, I don't think everything is problematic, sometimes a side eye will do, you don't have to drag and scalp and cancel someone. It's not everyday :/ I almost choked on my water when you said Azealia Banks

We were having a Christmas party at the office and part of the fun was drawing numbers for gifts under the tree…some call it White Elephant but at the time it was called Chinese Christmas Tree. Bless his heart, my co-worker (Chinese) walked up to me with the flier and asked me why it was called that and I told him because the game goes forward and backward, and is unpredictable like Chinese Checkers. I have never called it that since then.

Ohhh!!! You used my favorite Audre Lorde quote! "The Master's tools will never dismantle the Master's house."

Lord, you are enjoyable. 🤣🤣🤣 I admitted I didn't know who Uncle Charlie was on Facebook a few years ago. I got dragged. They took my black card. I swear there were 2,000 comments. That's a lot for regular people. It was hilarious, but it escalated fast. I can't imagine how horrible it would be for it to be something negative.

Love this video! My sister and I were just talking about call out culture and how it actually perpetuates ignorance because ppl rather remain silent and unknowing than speak up and risk a public dragging. I also disagree with the idea of canceling people. Yes, there is a small percentage of people (coined the “basket of deplorables” by Mrs. Rodham Clinton) that do deserve cancellation. However, the vast majority just need some education, time to mature, and alternating kicks in the butt and/or hugs. I can say this because glimpses of my old FB posts remind me of my former problematic-ness. Thankfully, loved ones didn’t cancel me but opted to give me room to grow and mature instead.

I swear there will always be people pissed off. I got attacked by my black community for even mentioning that violence isn't the answer 😂. "This is war", mmm... How is their war going NOW?!👀

Erasing comments or blocking someone is nowhere near childish! If you don't need to read the negative block or erase.. It makes for a healthier mind! My learned better so I could be better is one of many, when I realized we all are taught. Whether it is in the home, school, society and yes while we are alone. We taken in must information from someone and a bit les from something eg. a book or research out of the norm. When I finally embraced the something more I discovered TRUTH!

I used to be an abuser apologist cause Chris Breezy Brown was my man and i said some terrible things that i just cannot repeat year. I thought i was better than other girls too cause i wasnt about that make up life (now this is all i do) and i dress "humbly" Now i love make up, shoring skin aaaaaaaaaaand i openly discuss about being problematic cause its not about rebranding yourself but about growth. Appreciate how far you come !

Evelyn, I connect with you on a spiritual level! You are me and I am you, lol. ❤👍 Also, I usually stick to my guns on my beliefs and opinions, but one thing I've learned for sure is to allow room for grace with other people. With that comes empathy and understanding. I would certainly want the same.

I’m here for ALL of this. I’m actually going to use this video in class (I’m a professor). I teach a few classes that relate to stereotyping and prejudice and I always emphasize that you have to commit to striving to be anti-prejudiced and recognize you may stumble, but keep trying! Call -out culture undermines that so much so I love this!

Facebook shared a memory with me recently of me questioning the fight for gay rights smh at the time I just couldn't understand that there was an attack on their personal rights, and I somehow had the foolish thought that the fight for their rights was an attack on my rights as a heterosexual. Thank God for the one friend who commented -- he's gay, and he had been my friend long enough to know my heart. He just calmly explained that gays just want to have the same rights as everyone else. The person I am now understands that, probably thanks to that friend, and I don't even recognize the person I was all those years ago who thought that way.

Not everything is problematic. Not every internal thought must be spoken. Not everyone must be dragged or cancelled or called out. Sometimes we just need to give a side eye and move on and be kind to each other.

I feel you on Chick-fil-a cause like even though they hate me for being Bi they still out here paying their employees 12+/hr AND i get free sandwiches thru pocketpoints cause a broke, stressed, college kid gotta eat(and those waffle fries are fire) So congrats Chick-fil-a for being my problematic fav.

In 2018,it feels like everything people say,do,think,etc. is problematic. It's so difficult to enjoy things without being questioned/judged about what you're doing. It's almost to the point where doing something as basic as eating a sandwich is a problem because....gluten. That's why I try to avoid having those types of conversations with people because they never end.

Wait wait "more and more we have to ability to offer opinions nobody asked for" lololol!!

I used to judge women who were in tune with their sexuality and didn't put limits on themselves by calling them hoes smh ..

Pocahontas and Princess Jasmine were my favorite Disney Princess's growing up because they were the closes thing to a princess that looked like me that I could look up to .