Ironic ain’t it

​@@alexavier1696 I would say its kinda poetic imo.

​@@douppi2877ironic poetry in this case, if you will.

that's the opposite of ironic since there's no reversal here

Immersive/10

Nope it's the fact it EVEN HAVE price tag

Wdym I love how they got Murdock Nickels from gorilaz to voice gollum 😂

I dunno if it's the worst part, but it sure adds to the pile...

It's like finding a guy who doesn't have a Borat or a Bane impression. Near impossible.

Are your expectations subverted yet?

They deserved it. Never preorder

Can confirm. Preordered fallout 76. Thanks, Todd

​@@johnme16IT JUST WORKS

I work at this Walmart like place and we have this ugly hideous game! Someone with a functioning brain has bought this game! (Whoever bought it I feel so sorry!)

@@philiproler5572 Only game I ever pre-ordered was Red Dead Redemption 2 since I played Red Dead 1 for hundreds of hours with friends as a kid and it was therefore such an integral part of my childhood. Luckily I don't even regret it because that game was great.

And this is release week!!!! 💀😂 So it should be higher percentages due to less players.

I finished the game. But I do not recommend it. At least not until it will cost 2.99$

Most games are never finished

@Lewis Pooper That’s not true. People just tend to focus more on the negative than the positive.

​@@digitalplayland It isn't even worth free

they are lucky

Lol

@@Kevduit the Emotes say otherwise

It was likely PLANNED to have multiplayer but was scrapped during development for later DLC

​@@AmaryInkawultI mean...with how jank it is...

99% of the budget into the bird neck snap scene

Not so fast.

​@@KevduitI'm not sure how this game isn't Game of the year. It should've been in the Goty list

Frodo: Hold my ring.

Literally no one will ever get that achievement.

​@@Shaun_Jonesapparently people have

Both JRR and Christopher

It is now 2053 and all is well. All of humanity's energy issues have been resolved and with them, the issues of pollution and global warming have been severely reduced and everyone can enjoy clean, plentiful energy. We call this time the Golden Renaissance and we have the video game "Gollum" to thank for this, as researchers have finally found the reason why the fountain of neverending energy took shape. It has been 10 years now since the night sky of Oxford was pierced by a beam of pure white light emanating from what seemed to be the district of Cutteslowe. Panic quickly set in for the residents of the Empire since this was thought to be another strike from the Grand Canadian Royal army, as the Pan-Global Kerfuffle of 2030 was still ongoing at the time and the armies of the broken continent of Canada, formerly known as North America, were still launching operations to disrupt the forces of then newly resurrected third Empire of Albion. It would be several hours, on the morning of November 13th, Charlesday (Friday in the old world calendar system) that it was found that the light was emanating from a small parcel in the Catholic section of Wolvercote Cemetery. It would be another week while containment and investigation took place to determine the origin point to be the plot of land dedicated to the burial place of one John Ronald Reuel Tolkien and Edith Mary Tolkien. What is now referred to as the Tolkien Spin Turbine phenomenon was found to be triggered several decades in the past but the effects could only be felt in 2043 on that scorching November night. Scientists found that the frequent abuse of the late Tolkien's works in pop culture were the starting point that triggered the physical revolution of Tolkien's remains which, in turn, would lead to the cultural and technological revolution we are living through today. As more research is done on the matter, some point toward the Lord of the Rings made by Ralph Bakshi as being the original spark whereas others point toward Peter David and his Hobbit "trilogy" of movies when discussing when the rotational movements began. Whatever started the Tolkien Rotation and gave birth to the pillar of light that would emerge and, quite fittingly encircle the planet in a ring of light that could be harnessed by humanity, it is now beyond a shadow of a doubt that the movement reached irreversible charge levels with the release of the "Gollum" video game in 2023, once touted as a repulsive waste of money, time and a beloved IP, now revealed to be the quite literal savior of mankind. As we move forward into the new decade with the "Planet Earth Spaceship" program powered by the Tolkien Turbine and construction on the pseudo Dyson sphere that has Earth at its center is reaching its halfway point, we give thanks to the creators of "Gollum" and the frankly courageous yet rather daft early adopters that actually played the game and allowed its existence to be more than just a theory, and instead made it a game theory. May Gollum be with you and bless you all.

@@vetreas366 This comment is better than the entire game

DO A BARREL ROLL

@@vetreas366 I'm crying at this short story it's just too good

In the story he’s kinda there to show what the ring can do to people, and he does have a body count of at least one from what I remember. When Sméagol first got the ring he killed his brother. The writers of this gave just kinda gave up I think

That and he wasn’t really afraid to hop on a bitch and choke them, though it was less stealth and more anger.

@@moosenman This. There's a distinction that the developers and director of Gollum missed completely, and it's that Smeagol is a well-meaning, almost innocent Hobbit who has been tortured and broke down, essentially having his mind transformed into a prison by this all powerful artifact of a nearly forgotten age that belongs to the disembodied force of a dark lord who could easily shroud the entire world in malice and manifested hatred if the fellowship didn't continuously and miraculously luck out. Gollum, however, is an extremely violent and volatile conniver who is both equally disturbing and unsettling to deal with~ be it face to face or through a TV screen. For all of the things that The Hobbit got wrong, it got the dread of knowing that Gollum knows you're trying to trick him right on the fucking money.

Hes none of what you stated. He lives in mountains so yeah, he should climb. He's used as cannon fodder to cover their tracks not a politician. You're exaggerating basic skills. Thats like saying a monkey is a parkour expert

@@moxiemaxie3543 monkeys can’t stealth kill

*red.*

at that moment I buckled up

thats the only decent part everything else is trash

I love your culture and almost everything about your country, I currently study Deutsch and soon to work as a Deutsch teacher in schools

@@aeoncalcos7830 was für ne Kultur lmao

And some of their games are so good.... im so sad

Likewise. I promise we can also make good games 😭

WW2 was the last time Germany didn't need to apologize, actually.

I paid Full Price for this and by god, i will squeeze every Cent out of this. Those 0,75% or something.

A larger percentage of people believe in Bigfoot…

​@@ShinForgotPassxXx you paid full price for this shit?Holy shit,i feel bad for you

Or perhaps the people that bought it don’t do KZfaq as a job and have time to beat the game right away

I’ve seen soulsbourn optional bosses with more players achieving it

A special level of talent. Emphasis on special. 😂

Because gamers refuse to congregate and class-action for false advertising.

Garten of Bird up feels better than this....

Deadlines.

"A single dude working the game on his weekends and also his first game" is enough justification to say "this is good"

🤣😂🤣🙄

@@19thunderchild It was a reference to that elf cape thing frodo used on the gates of mordor

I'm crying lmao

😂

Gollum’d all over those

Kevin's friends are probably very thankful the devs didn't implement co-op.

I like his videos even when the game is bad but this was a bridge to far for me. I had to tap out for the first time. Kevin did his best but not even he could make watching this game entertaining.

@@terry2295 when I first saw gameplay of this game I instantly thought about a comment like this and I’m so happy someone actually said it 😂

@@tellyg47 It would've made for a fun video though.

it has the vibes of a game that kept changing genres like 10 times throughout development but they had to eventually release it

thats probably what happened with redfall and gollum

It has that 2008 Licensed Game smell to it.

@@xord6286 ;ike cyberpunk

Nah. It’s just a perfect shit storm of a small indie team that’s mostly just worked on low end indie point and click games, who had no clue how to make a game of this scale and just bafflingly threw themselves into the fire trying to create and publish a “AAA” game all by themselves. I don’t know how the hell they even got the license for this.

More like youtube story animation.

@@bryanpineda2096 … ah yes.. the uh.. joke. Nothing gets past you

IDK, I think they could draw up something better in the 1700's 🤔

And making us watch it… again

@@veszekium5693 Someone has to take care of him after making this video !! This game could have lost him so many braincells now due to the sheer lack of the publisher doing their job, That Kev is now endangered to be forced into a Sanatorium. 🧐🧐

Our lord and savior, kevduit. He sacrifices so much for us.

I was kind of half expecting the fanbase to do a thing where they all kind of just pretend it's this utterly goaded game like with people continuing the joke that John Cena is invincible even though it's been like a decade.

RIP Keduit's sanity

That exists. Today. For money. 😂

Now with dialogue!

I will debate it has graphics

​@@DubberRucks Way too much money.

😂

Worked hard?

Year is still young. Do remember we thought that about Forspoken and then came Redfall and now Gollum. I know 2023 won't disappoint and at least 2 more games will join the list. Yatzhee will have such an easy year with his bottom 5 games of the year.

It sucks that Nacon did it because they're doing Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown. Seeing how bad this looks scares me a ton

@@bryanpineda2096 You have to work hard to make something this shit. You can't do this on accident, I just can't believe it any other way.

​@@matosz23 we also have Starfield and S.T.A.L.K.E.R 2

I played better games. There was a AWSOME megaman arcade and Simpsons one too

*Perfect* description; truly an aesthetic mode

I’m gonna stick to pac man 😂

Please don't disrespect Pac-Man World like that 🙏

Man at least my orthodontist had an n64 with mario kart, better than this shit

He is becoming gollum minute by minute the devs master plan is working perfect

Ufff that hurts

My parents NEVER would get me a game unless I specifically ask for one on a wish list as a present. Because of crap like this. They been burned by bad movies, so they know games can be the same way.

ahh that happened to me already. My godfather (i think thats the english term) bought me Transformers for PS3. i wasnt even a big transformers fan, nor was the game any good. But still, i appreciated his intentions though and was thankful.

Well time to start mowing lawns.

That's an 80's experience.

I don’t

It looks like fking dream

Lmao

20:46

I know right? Him default dancing while hiding from the elves really makes it better!

I mean this is a pretty good anti-depressant: ”could be worse, could be playing Gollum right now”.

I don't know what was worse; watching this atrocity get played, or knowing that he had to pay for the experience. 😂

So *THAT* is why i didn't like DS2 when i played it after 1

Except DS2 is 100 times better then this shit

@@creppersaurusrex2300 meh at least Dark Souls 2 is playable compared to this almagamation of terror. honestly why did this company make it and not like oh idk Monolith? Monolith already proved they can make great games based on the story and history of Middle Earth. just look at the glorious Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War games. Story was not very focused but everything else was freaking great anyways and Story was not their main focus on it ever anyways.

​@@creppersaurusrex2300 there's a lot of things DS2 did to fix most problems in Souls, you just need to open your eyes

But in Dark Souls 2 it made sense

While you don't really fight yourself (sort of), Dark Earth from 1997 did something similar to this where the main character can switch from a light to a dark attitude and, in turn, have different conversations depending on which mode you picked.

Disco Elysium has similar mechanics but it's rare nonetheless

romance club biatch

@odilemwaro833 Yeah, not to mention that the game basically lets you pick neither option.

Fable III

No no, the pit of despair is Princess Bride!

Well, he makes these reviews for money and entertainment. Why would he be angry?

@@ctdaniels7049HAHA I GET THAT REFERENCE I LOVE IT

callisto protocol does WHAT

Wait... you serious? Callisto does that? 💀

There's a key difference there. I'm so bad at Callisto Protocol that I consistently die and get to see the animations. I'm so good at Gollum that I consistently die and get to see my home screen.

Coming back to this comment to say you were kind of right.

Mordor mordor'd

I loved the part where Gollum says "It's Gollumin' time" and then he died mid air

A game of a* time you mean? Other than that, perfect review of a game. It's a game, it has textures, code is there, bugs are too, voice actors voiced and Gollum does Gollum all over a game

This truly was our GOLLUM

Oh man, that reminds me of a ps2 game that was unbelievably dark with odd forced camera angles, to the point where you basically coulddnt see most of the game

​@@eliaspanayi3465it could be anyone

@@eliaspanayi3465 "Do you have an idea of how little that narrows it down?"

I kept replaying max payne 2 for a year when I was 11-12 because I couldn't figure out how to enter the elevator. All I had to do was press e on the panel💀

that was Sonic 06' for me...we returned that game within 3 days

I tried saying I was being lazy and gave no fuck during sex She was not amused by it and she was already mad cause I forgot her name

The people who made the art for the non-GGI cutscenes.

@@BetaJackMaxis only good part of the game. They're quite pretty

honestly that felt like the only ray of hope in this game, like the dying cry of a single competent writer

you cant lose something you dont have in the first place ;)

Just think of the memories we'll have of 2023... Redfall, Gollum, there's some stinkers memorable for all the wrong reasons 😂

it looks like it was made 20 years ago, and still runs worse than those games

Umm...did you live in a cave for the last 5-8 years. This abomination have become a norm for "AAA" game

@@ReigoVassal stop the cap

@@ReigoVassal I mean, yes, that is true. AAA games certainly have been slipping of late. I just simply expect if you are going to use to LotR brand, one of the most beloved fantasy epics of all time that only rarely gets games made of it, you'd invest *something* into it to make sure it lives up to its legacy. I'm more disappointed in that then the raw quality of the game in isolation.

The shock at the crunch killed me 😢

that "choice" in itself cemented my opinion that devs should be sent to clean up radioactive spills

​@@Massakre8492ndDon't Forget to Send The Halo Infinite Developers as Well.

​@@Massakre8492nd I actually think it's the one noteworthy thing of the entire game.

@@PhoenixLord777 exactly, and that's why they deserve radioactive spills snd not firing squad, make them suffer as much as the players who "played" this """"game""""

😂 I'm shaken by their confidence in Gollum.

In salt water. With razor blades hidden in random plates and cups.

​@@DubberRucks yeah the average dishwashing experience

@@DubberRucks Don't forget the portal to Hell bubbling up outta the drain.

This proves that you're a child. lmao.

Having to reach down into the disposal because you dropped a small object into it

Objective: Uninstall this game. Are you sure? Y/N

@lucgermain9310 me when black people in my LotR 🤬

Oh yeah... The """"dark elf"""" 😂😂😂

😂

@@SuperVincent0000but they actually exist in canon lore? Not by whatever name Galadriel calls him, but the orcs canonically exist, in Tolkien’s writings, because Melkor/Morgoth tortured and twisted elves into dark creatures and then selectively bred them into what are now orcs

i feel like the hobbit is worse because it's a direct adaptaion. You can pretend they never made rings of power but the hobbit... people like that book u know?