I CAN'T FORGIVE THEM! How to Let Go of Old Hurt & Trauma Without Forgiving

I CAN'T FORGIVE THEM! How to Let Go of Old Hurt & Trauma Without Forgiving | Wu Wei Wisdom

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2 жыл бұрын

Learn how to let go and move on from past trauma and hurt without forgiving those who have wronged you... 👉 WORK WITH DAVID: www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies...
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☯️ WU WEI WISDOM LIFE LESSONS EPISODE # 170
This week we answer the question: can we fully move on from past trauma and pain without forgiving those who have wronged us?
And if we have made mistakes ourselves in the past, do we need to forgive ourselves in order to free ourselves from regret, guilt and shame?
You’ll learn that healing WITHOUT forgiveness IS possible and the steps you need to take to do this.
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▶️ How to Overcome Regret, Guilt and Shame • HOW TO OVERCOME REGRET...
▶️ How to Let Go of Old Hurt, Abuse, Injustice and Unfairness • How to Let Go of Old H...
▶️ The Secret to Letting Go of Resentment and Bitterness • THE SECRET TO LETTING ...
▶️ The Inner Child Illusion: How to Break Free From Your Inner Child’s Story • THE INNER CHILD ILLUSI...
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Meet Wu Wei Wisdom co-founders David James Lees (emotional and spiritual health teacher and Taoist monk) and Alexandra Lees (integrative health coach and feng shui designer).
David and Alex's work uniquely applies ancient Eastern wisdom and emotional health practices to modern-day life to create a powerful new paradigm for authentic and abundant living.
Each week, David and Alex discuss your life challenges and offer inspirational ideas and practical tips to help you find balance, harmony and flow (‘wu wei’) in all aspects of your life.
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Disclaimer: This video and any associated advice and comments shared are not a substitute for professional therapy, mental health care, crisis support, medical advice, doctor diagnosis, or professional healthcare treatment. Our videos, podcasts and other website articles and social media posts provide general information for educational purposes only - they are offered as suggestions for you and your professional therapist or healthcare advisor to consider and research.
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Пікірлер: 51

@suzienakasian2494 2 жыл бұрын

Seek peace for oneself - and leave everyone else involved to themselves. Their response ability is on them. Peace comes in letting it go! Turn all of your loving energy 180 degrees, and love and care for yourself without distraction! Live and heal in the now and live more fully! Step out of the tomb! Thanks for fresh helpful take on This important topic.

@neecy9810 2 жыл бұрын

I never felt to forgive them, I only knew I had a lot to do to heal myself from the abuse. I had no confidence, self esteem, belief in myself and have had emotional issues to heal. Yes, I felt victimized for a long time. Abuse messes w your mind and behaviours. I've been working on improving myself. Have I forgave them...no reason to. I can only heal myself...its been a journey. I've come a long way. I stay away from my family. There's a reason. ❤

@jacrowe3477 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you David and Alex, this reasonates with me, acceptance, not forgiveness. Acceptance is the key!!! Yes we are amazing, we coped and got through it. It has made me emotionally stronger. It is ourselves that keep us stuck there.

@michaelsager5688 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you both for this teaching. My inner child has held on to resentments for a very long time. All my efforts to forgive have been blocked as the inner child wants no parts of it. I have been practicing acceptance for some time and found myself today practicing it on a deeper level as a result of this lesson. I don't know how I feel about forgiveness after hearing this video. I do know that acceptance just makes sense and is very realistic

@sll110 2 жыл бұрын

yes

@jimicunningable 2 жыл бұрын

I would like to propose a very effective distinction I learned studying DBT for the councilor: acknowledge NOT accept or forgive. Accept IS more loaded still, than acknowledge! Namaste dear virtual teachers.

@IorgaArtStudio Жыл бұрын

YES thank you - that sounds even better - accepting feels to me like sayin g ok to the programming the PTSD and thats going against out divine nature again -- the body gets triggered - cos there is unresolved matters and unresolved programming - that s what the body is hurting trying to tell us again and again . Thank you for this.

@dallasjansen2226 2 жыл бұрын

Forgiveness is rough. It feels like you’re saying it’s ok what they did.

@WuWeiWisdom 2 жыл бұрын

Hello Inga, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. I am saying the opposite: what they did was *not* OK and you are *not* going to allow them to affect your life anymore. I hope I’ve addressed your question and covered all the relevant points. Thank you again for your question and interest in our work. David

@rondanatan6198 2 жыл бұрын

David, you’re so right about the word acceptance in this case. It make it a lot easier to deal with the perpetrators.

@cynthiapate9138 Жыл бұрын

A Course in Miracles teaches the same view of forgiveness. This feels right to me.

@arashigumdrop 2 жыл бұрын

I Acknowledge & Accept That David & Alexandria Are Both Awesome, Amazing & Walking By My Side Daily As I Learn, Practice & Heal...

@ilsebelmonte7512 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you very much! This acceptance is like the foregiveness process in A Course In Miracles book. It is not about any apologie. It is about an internal process. Spiritual and divine process to help you to flowi n "this world".

@dorisw2507 2 жыл бұрын

Many years ago I took a weekend seminar course that went over this idea, but the way they worded it was awful. They wanted us to forgive everyone we were angry at and tell ourselves that everything bad that happened to us was our fault. I could see energetically that they were trying to do exactly what you are suggesting, but come on, what horrible wording! I chimed in and challenged them, and of course was seen as someone who just wanted to perpetuate my pain. I was concerned that people will take those words to literally. The words you are using David are beautiful and empowering. ❤️ Thank you

@vonstar1 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you what a beautiful teaching 🙏🙏❤️

@patcheckert295 Жыл бұрын

Thank you, a meditation on acceptance and survival would be very appreciated!

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

Great suggestion! Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@dakine4238 2 жыл бұрын

These are good points but I have complex CPTSD and that means I get triggered to emotional flashbacks where I get taken back to a past trauma so I've tried to move on but there is a deeper level of healing that needs to take place.

@sll110 2 жыл бұрын

me too

@sll110 2 жыл бұрын

So true! David and Alex, that's one of reasons, I trust you guys very very much, you guys always put your feets in victims' shoes, having courage and true compassion, this is definitly best videos talking about forgiveness in KZfaq, very deep , very realist, and full of true compassions, love you guys soooo much !😘😘😘😘😘😘😘🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

@joeprimal2044 2 жыл бұрын

Love you guys. Thanks so much for all you do.

@melis6294 Жыл бұрын

I understand the concept but showing a bit more of Empathy towards the victim who didn't know better and still doesn't know bettee even now would make this message more powerful.

@sandrasimon9264 5 күн бұрын

Thank you David and Alex for all your videos! It's hard to forgive those who didn't acknowledge or apologize and now they're dead! Acceptance is transforming. Love you. Can l adopt you? ❤

@WuWeiWisdom 5 күн бұрын

Hi Sandra, Thank you for your heartfelt message! Forgiving those who have passed on can indeed be misleading and challenging, but acceptance is a powerful step toward transformation and your spiritual development. We're grateful for your love and support. Kind Regards, David P.S. You're always welcome to join our community: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/

@humanpersonne 2 жыл бұрын

You have no idea how much this helped me. It was so cathartic to hear you say these things. Thank you so so much.

@joy7592 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!!!

@sll110 2 жыл бұрын

in fact, you guys are first time in my long term healing process,(very sad over 10years, and met 9therapists) I feel deeply I can trust, I can feel true safe while you two talking, Because the way you guys, truly, truly put your feets in survivor s’ shoes, talking with wisdoms, at same time, full of true compassion and pure love. you guys have very objective perspectives, also can full of true love... your words full true wisdom and true courage, this must from very deep beautiful souls.... God created you guys so talented.. 🍀🍀🍀🍀🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🍃🍃🍃🍃

@helenlaughton729 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@suzienakasian2494 2 жыл бұрын

Spot on!

@cristianpetri1 Жыл бұрын

Thank you 🙏

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@sokoens 2 жыл бұрын

My problem is that I get resentful that I am feeling pain emotionally and struggling and the other person is fine and just continues living there life full of gifts and joy . I want them to feel suffering also from the universe. I don’t want to go after them, I want them to be in emotional pain also. How do I get past that, if not forgiveness?

@watercolourartincapetown2919 9 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏 yes I always felt tricky as if there’s a podium on which to stand above and forgive. acceptance is equals who accept that it takes two energies not one superior versus one inferior Grateful for this reframe

@WuWeiWisdom 9 ай бұрын

Wonderful! Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Please check out our next LIVE online event. More details here: bit.ly/GTP-Live-Dec-2023. Kind regards, David.

@sll110 2 жыл бұрын

I feel triggered, and don't know what to do, I am the person, my whole life destroyed, I am already 43 yers old, It's too late to know the truth, and everyday, the trauma still flashback

@Sunshinestarryrose Жыл бұрын

Thank you 😊

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

You're welcome 😊Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@IorgaArtStudio Жыл бұрын

the problem is trauma lingers on through PTSD / CPTSD and its not that easy to reprogram the reactivity.

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

Hello, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Not easy but definitely worthwhile, and you are worth it! Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@alanaginsberg4166 Жыл бұрын

Hi David. I don't understand *how* to accept the past. Is there a mind exercise or step by step instruction? Thank you for your videos :)

@WuWeiWisdom Жыл бұрын

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. You can't change the past, why can't you accept it? Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

@strawberrybunny16 2 жыл бұрын

Hi David and Alex! I love your videos. I have a question. I’ve had issues since I was a child with sensory overstimulation. I often get red light feelings from sounds, smells, etc. If the lights are bright at work, or if someone is wearing a lot of perfume at a theater, or if there is construction being done outside, I have a lot of trouble focusing and coping with the situation. Any suggestions or ideas would greatly be appreciated!!

@RinAsami1 2 жыл бұрын

My takeaway from this video is that though we may have been a victim in the past of a perpetrator and it was wrong, shouldn't have happened, and it was unjust...that does not make us a victim for life. It means that we do not need to take on the identify of victim. We were a victim, but we are not anymore. That time has passed, and those perpetrators are no longer hurting us (most likely) mentally, verbally, or physically. We are hurting ourselves by taking on the victim identify for life and replaying the event(s) in our heads. It happened. It was wrong. How can we move on and lead a better life.

@diatonicjon 2 жыл бұрын

Hurt people, hurt people. This cyclical suffering...

@jimicunningable 2 жыл бұрын

Acceptance MEANS ACCEPTANCE! QUIT RUNNING IRRESPONSIBLY FROM THE OXFORD DEFINITION OF ACCEPT. IT'S A VERY POOR CHOICE OF WORDS IN THIS CONTEXT AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN. THIS IS ***ALWAYS*** AN ISSUE WITH CLIENTS!!! ALWAYS, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS. "ACKNOWLEDGE" NOT "ACCEPT" *PLEASE*. "Accept" does mean to be ok with, almost universally, almost always, in every mouth but ours. You are being arcane and stubborn by sticking to this word ALL PATIENTS struggle with!!!!!!!!!!

@jimicunningable 2 жыл бұрын

I personally don't care, I can easily change the dogmatic word choice to "acknowledge" and get the value of the vid. We DO know this word is an issue though, so we should CARE enough to LEARN NEW TOOLS!!!

@jimicunningable 2 жыл бұрын

Hsu Fun Yuen was my teacher's teacher and tested us on occassion. NIU isn't Harvard, but it ain't too bad...

@WuWeiWisdom 2 жыл бұрын

Hello Jimi, Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Can we ever find the ‘correct’ word? I think these conversations are useful. 'The words you use are the bricks that build the house you live in'... Unfortunately, there are issues with the word 'acknowledge', because it can be used as acknowledging the injustice/unfairness/ victim, without being able to move past it. But, certainly food for thought. Kind regards, David.

@michaelsager5688 2 жыл бұрын