Baby girl. That "embarrassment " is just proof that you still BELIEVE that all things are possible.... You are strong, you are good, do not feel embarrassed. All things are possible. 💚

Alex, please don't be embarrassed. You've been hoping for something for years, and when you get even a glimpse of success it's hard not to get excited. We all love you guys and are praying for you. Your journey is so much encouragement for all of us going through the same storm. We'll cry with you!!

I know you might feel embarrassed but you shouldn’t ❤ you’re a human with hopes and desires! Whether you’ve taken 1 test or a million, even little glimpses of hope are never something to be embarrassed about.

Just found out my mom has had her lung cancer come back. Quickly. Six months ago clear CT scan. If anyone can pray for her. For me.

16:33 I recognize this so much... you are not alone, Alex, and you make me feel not alone ❤️

I'm so sorry Alex! I will never understand why some of the best people in life can't easily have children, yet some of the worst monsters in the world can. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Infertility is the walk between hope and tempering hope. We walk that line every day of every cycle. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us. I have been in this position way too many times and you have nothing to be embarrassed about it.

Thank you , Alex, for being transparent and real. I'm sorry that you feel embarrassed but you are loved by your online family and most importantly God 💜

😭 gosh Alex you are so beautiful. You are such a lovely example of walking through the darkest days of infertility. Thank you for letting us into such a vulnerable moment and the rest of your day when you didn’t want to vlog. I cried watching you and listening to you describe how you felt as I could resonate so much with it. Thank you for being you 💛

I’ve been in that situation so many times I know how it feels. I know the embarrassment you feel in yourself even when your not telling a soul. Thank you for openly reminding us we aren’t alone 😢

Don't be embarrassed. The amount of times I took pregnancy test and thought it had two lines only to find out I wasn't pregnant. Take time to rest and don't be so hard on yourself. Sending prayers

All infertility couples know that squinting and changing light to see if maaaaaybe..... The name you should call yourself is hopeful and faithful even when you want to throw in the towel because no matter how many times we squint... There's always that back of your mind hope.... And real, authentic, and honest... Which we really really appreciate. Hope is never foolish. You are loved!

Having hope (and being extra cautious) is not embarrassing Alex. ❤️

You have nothing to feel embarrassed about! You are so strong and brave to share your struggles. All along, your choice COULD have been to live in bitterness and self pity, resenting everyone with a different story. Instead, you have followed your passion from the Lord to come alongside others dealing with loss, hurt and delayed dreams. You inspire me everytime I watch your channel! Praying for you 💜

Ohhh Alex I wish I could come through the phone and just hug you. Please don’t be embarrassed ❤

Alex, I don't often comment, but this time I will because I want to offer comfort as much as I can. I'm an old lady now, but I remember and I put my arms around my daughter that I'm glad I had, because if I hadn't had her, I would have no children. I feel for you and I'm hopeful that you can stop being embarrassed. You are Alex and you are worthy of being loved.

Do not feel embarrassed! You being hopeful and sharing it with us, after all you have been through, gives SO MANY PEOPLE the reassurance that it is okay to have hope...even if the outcome is disappointing. There is absolutely NOTHING embarrassing about being hopeful and never losing that hope despite years of infertility! Hang in there. Sending prayers, baby dust, and all of the hope in the world to you from Ohio! ❤️❤️❤️

It’s not foolish, it’s faith! God surprises us all the time and of course you wouldn’t want to risk an X-ray if you had a tiny miracle in you! That shows how protective of a mommy you are! Sorry it took you on an emotional rollercoaster. Prayers for all of God’s surprises to come you and your family!! 💞

I was holding my breath for 15 minutes straight. 😳🙏🏻 Never be embarrassed. We feel with you. Much love.

Good Lord! Never, never, never feel embarrassed over something like this. You are a human with hopes and fears and anxieties as are we all. My heart leapt into my throat for you, even though, as you've said, you weren't expecting a positive or anything like that but just that faint line leads to faint hopes for you and for all of us who are watching and joining in your lives. We love you all so much and we want your lives to be fulfilled and happy no matter how that ends up looking. Hugs

Oh my gosh. Without an x-ray it would have been so much less stressful! You needed to do the right thing and so you were extra cautious. It was painful and hard. You did the right thing and do not need to be embarrassed!

No embarrassment needed. But having a similar experience over a different matter I know there is a difference between what our hearts and brains feel. What’s so odd is, at 30 years old after having been told I could never have children and the day before a radiation test for my thyroid I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe it. My Dr told me that medicine cannot explain a God thing. I pray for peace for you. I have been blessed despite the science with God’s miraculous gift of motherhood and have two kind beautiful daughters. Even 15 and 18 years later I’m still in awe. It’s ok to share. So many people need to see this and know that it is normal and ok.

Don’t be embarrassed. I hope you are so proud of yourself for being so strong but also so vulnerable. I did not suffer from your kind of infertility but I do suffer from a different kind of fertility that’s not talked about much…due to a very complicated pregnancy, I could not have anymore children due to the high risk that another pregnancy would end in a uterine rupture. I had to have a horizontal incision and a vertical incision that crossed over each other which creates a weak point. I remember the shock and disappointment. It took a long time to accept. There was no 12 years of hope. It was just over. Have you met women experiencing this type of loss? It’s not infertility but having your fertility taken away through no fault of your own. Like you said at the end, fertility is such a gift. Hugs❤

Never be embarrassed. You are a human with a heart.

Thank you for sharing this even in the embarrassment and all of the completely valid feelings. ♥️ A moment of hope that flashed across your face… so much love for you, sweet friend. So grateful for your transparency ♥️

Ugh I have had this happen so many times, It’s a strange embarrassment and crushing. Thank you for sharing this, honestly really feeling seen with vlog.

I love how you allow yourself to feel sadness. Most people, myself included at times, do everything possible to NOT feel sadness and if you don’t feel your feelings, they just eat you for lunch. How could you not have hope? Of course, you do. You are human and that’s what we do: we hope.

My steps for yogurt 1) drive to store 2) put yogurt in cart 3) pay 4) bring home 5) eat I give you so many props for doing this

You are just too cute, Alex ❤️❤️❤️ Never be embarrassed for anything in your personality. You are so authentic and honest in your being and you are loved for being you ❤️❤️❤️ You deserve the best in this world ❤️

I feel this so deeply i wish i could take away the fear and embarrassment because this is something you should not have to feel this way we love you alex and are giving virtual hugs 🫂praying for a peaceful and loving future for ur family

Never stop believing in miracles! And thank you for sharing your heart. Infertility is lonely. Thank you for making me feel less lonely.

Alex DEFINITLY NO REASON to be embarrassed. Our bodies play jokes on us sometimes even if they are mean ones. You just rest up lady, you just had a rise and a big let down.❤❤

praying for another baby for you guys ❤

Hope is never something to be embarrassed for.❤️ And on a lighter note, anyone who’s ever watched old episodes of “I didn’t know I was pregnant” has had it drilled into their head, over and over again, that if anything ever changes or even slightly gives you any reason whatsoever to entertain the barest hint of doubt, just take a pregnancy test.

I love the fact that you're still excited and hopeful!! No reason to feel embarrassed.

I've been watching you guys since 2017 going through the ups and downs of infertility and good grief! This is just so cruel that anyone should have to deal with this. I can practically hear Satan laughing! I am so so sorry!

There is no reason to be embarrassed. God can perform miracles any time. My prayers are with you guys!

Alex the reason I subscribed to your channel was because I think you and Phil are an amazing couple and I too have had fertility issues and I never conceived, what you were doing there was been very careful so it is understandable not embarrassing and I'm so glad you put this vlog up as this means you care about us and yes there are things in life that don't go to plan and that means you are human, thank you my sweet and very kind Alex we love you

That is the best definition of depression I have ever heard. So true. I'm so sorry your having to deal with all the sorrows. God bless

Alex thank you for being so real. Don’t be embarrassed nothing wrong with being careful and for feeling hopeful ….. God Bless you and your family

Don’t feel embarrassed at all!! It’s understandable the roller coaster of emotions you deal with.

I’ve never thought you were foolish, I’ve been following since before Cassidy. You are inspiring, a bright spot and real, I appreciate you!!

I stopped using first response because this kept happening to me and was heart breaking to see the line get excited and go get negative blood work. I’m sorry it’s hard to see the line and it’s such emotional roller coaster! Thank you for sharing and helping others that might be going through the same thing!!

Oh Alex… there is a part of you holding on to the hope of possibilities, after all you have been through that is something to be proud of ❤

Thank you for sharing and being so honest. I love watching your videos and am praying for you.

I want to thank you so much for sharing this... we are not alone in this. I want to thank you for being brave and talking about this very hard time. You are not alone. Do not feel embarrassed.

I’m so proud of you. That took a lot of strength to post this. Sending you love and baby dust. You are amazing!

Alex, I hope you can give yourself some grace! It is ok to feel hopeful and wishful when looking at a pregnancy test even when you know the odds are not in your favor. I know growing your family is so strong on your heart, and I know that it will happen for you someday in some way. Be kind to yourself! ❤

Sweet Alex, you are truly an inspiration. You should not feel embarrassed for simply feeling those human emotions that God gave us to feel, even when it’s the hard ones. I’m just so proud of you for your vulnerability with us, even when you are not obligated to share. I tell my partner all the time when I watch your vlogs that I am watching my “second family” because you always make us feel that way. I love you guys and I am praying for your family always❤️ Keep inspiring the masses, you truly are doing SO much good in this world and that is what the world needs💕

Please NEVER feel embarrassed! I’ve watched y’all for a long time & I know your genuine and your heart is in such a good place ❤ I pray for your strength.

I don't think you are a fool. I believe you are brave and strong and a fighter! It's easy to throw in the towel and say I'm done but it takes strength to endure and fight for what you want. You should never be embarrassed. Your girls will grow up knowing how amazing and strong their mom is!

You said it was almost your time of the month so obviously you're gonna be more emotional But you never have to be embarrassed or apologized for feelings feelings are real My heart goes out to you for years watching you go through the battles that you 2 are going through

It’s impossible to not have that glimmer of hope when both Brad & Rach and Rachelle & Justin had miracle naturally conceived pregnancies after years of infertility

Thank you from my bottom of my heart, we just had our 4th retrieval and found out yesterday that on day 3 that none of the ten embryos that were fertilized made it. We are tired of the heartache and knowing I’m not alone eases the pain a bit.

Thanks Alex for always choosing to share when it is hard . My husband and I and kids both have stomach issues. Hard day trying to eat stuff not feeling great after it.

This broke my heart, I was holding my breath,hoping,just hoping for a miracle,for you to get that positive result you are searching for.....never ever be embarrassed...

Oh Alex, I knew this wasn't a pregnancy announcement, but I was just praying and hoping too even though I am certain you wouldn't title the vlog as you did. There is NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Miracles do happen, and you've got some things working in your favor too. I've not been here since the beginning but I've been here since shortly after Callie was born. And I can't wait to cry with you and Phillip soon when you get that positive pregnancy test.

God Bless your heart. Embarrassment is a word only fools should use. You are a great model for those going through infertility because I am sure there are many who have experienced the same thing and your video just validated that it’s ok to have hope ALWAYS! You have 3 beautiful girls, all success stories, and in God’s time you will have another. Again God Bless your heart for sharing real life so others can know it is okay ❤❤❤❤❤❤

What touching and emotional video. I Love that analogy of the black dog. I struggle with depression and anxiety and some days it is barely there and other days it feels like it is so heavy. I might have to say it is a different color dog though since I Love black dogs!

Alex never be embarrassed with us,you are very loved by us out here and it’s never foolish to keep hope alive,Bless you 🙏💗

Don't feel foolish Alex a friend of mine got pregnant after 18 years of infertility after having their first baby. Miracles happen ♥

There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I have been in your shoes many times after 7 years of infertility. We should never be embarrassed of holding on to hope or wishing for miracles 💕

I appreciate your transparency and you didnt have to post this, but you did and it may help someone else. ❤ Youre a human being with human feelings, just like all of us. Be kind to yourself and give yourself some grace. Youre allowed to hope, wonder, wish and also to be disappointed. Sending you hugs friend. ❤❤

Please never feel embarrassed. I understand that you deal with disappointment, depression, and sadness with your infertility, but what you feel at that moment in time is real. My heart aches, and hurts for you with every vlog you create. I want you to know you are never alone, should never feel not worthy of compassion, because I have followed you and your family for quite some time now, and just care about you, your family, and your struggles. I have seen your good days, bad days, and everything in between. Life is a daily lesson, and you are dealt with certain cards, and it is how you handle them is what counts. We are human beings with feelings. I am continously amazed with your outlook on life in general. You and Phil have a beautiful family, homestead, etc, and have built a wonderful future. The Lord above never abandons us, but guides us through whatever situation we face. Hugs sent to you, and just know I will always be a supporter, a follower, and a "you tube friend". Let your love multiply and burn brightly. 🥰

Gracias Alex. Me ha pasado . 17 años esperando mi milagro. Thanks Alex. It's happened to me. 17 years waiting for my miracle..

Thanks for you honesty Alex. We have different life issues (you infertility, me widowhood), but same common issue of grief. Thank God for amazing friends who speak life into our hearts! And the goodness of Jesus, who is close to the brokenhearted ❤

Honey, it's not embarrassing. It just freaking hurts. And that's ok. Trust me, I know all too well. ❤️

I praying so hard you guys can have another baby!! I know you guys are trying your best and hopefully it will come true one day I have faith it will happen for you guys!! But don't feel embarrassed because you thought there was a line while it was negative sometimes it happens. I love you guys!

Alex, you have nothing to be embarrassed about! Infertility sucks!! And that black dog analogy is perfect for so many different emotions. Might I suggest that by sharing your “black dog” moment, you can let other people love and pray on you, helping to pull that black dog back a bit. Please know that so many of us have our own black dogs to deal with that helping someone else dealing with theirs, helps us with our own black dog.

I have done the same thing multiple times, you are being smart, being protective, being cautious. You are incredible, you are brave, you are hopeful and have FAITH in miracles nothing to be embarrassed about anything. Proud of you for sharing this. Infertility is a lonely, dark path. Thank you for making me feel less alone. Love you

I’ve taken so many test that I thought were positive and turned out negative 😢 I feel you but there is always hope ❤

Absolutely no need to be embarrassed!! We love you and support you! Prayers for you and your journey 🙏🙏

There is nothing to be embarrassed about! This is a very real thing! I have PCOS so I get it. I have been blessed with 5 children but sometimes it was really hard especially losing 3 in the process. There's a difference between someone having 2 and stopping them being forced to stop over something you can't control.

I just want to say I’m proud of you for sharing these intimate moments. I know you’re goal is to make those who are going through something similar- feel less alone but you’re also breaking stigmas. sitmags around miscarriage and infertility and emotion. I’m 20, I’m not thinking about kids right now but how many 20-something year olds or younger, like me, who watch your videos… how many of us are gonna struggling in similar ways that you do? and how many of us are gonna feel a little less pain because we’ve seen your story? how many of us are gonna feel a little bit better knowing we’re not the first to feel this? i don’t wish this on anyone but what a blessing it is that these kind of videos are out there for if/when it happens. thank you. keep doing what you’re doing 🫶

Dear Alex please don't be embarrassed it's not an embarrassing thing to be disappointed. You have a yearning for more children and I do hope the God-bless us you. I hope that whatever time it takes God will touch you as he did Sarah in her old years and give her a child. I've watched you since you first got pregnant with Cassidy and continue to watch your life and your story. I'm 76 years old and I too feel your heart ache. Sharing your story is a blessing to us who watch you and your struggle. Hang in there, love your family.

Alex please, please don't let this make you feel embarrassed or any of the other words. Anyone who has ever waited and wanted those two pink lines for years we crave it and just want to see it so bad. Love you alex!

Beautiful Alex don’t feel that way!!! I’m 29 years old and for years I felt that same way. After 8 years I finally had my son and felt like a dream!!! And we weren’t trying it was a miracle. Same will happen to you beautiful ❤❤❤

I'm so sorry Alex😥Praying 4 u if it's ok. Please don't feel embarrassed. You're not alone. U have alot of people with u. Love, Prayers & Hugs.

Oh Alex … I want to hug you! Please don’t be embarrassed… totally understandable. We’ve all done it and that’s a normal reaction. ❤

Aww, Please don't feel embarrassed - Hope is important. You know miracles happen, and if you found out you were pregnant AFTER the Xray and weren't so cautious, you'd beat yourself up. I love your hope - Please never lose it.

This has been the best video you have shared in a long time. Thanks for keeping it real! You should not be embarrassed but I’ve been there, I get it. But this is real and I like that’s you’ve kept it real.

I’m so proud of you for sharing with us. It’s never easy to share what we think is embarrassing. Even though it’s not now, I do hope and pray that you get your miracle baby. I have faith God will bless you again.

Don't be embarrassed, we are here for you. 🫂 a big hug for you.

Don’t be embarrassed, I’m sure you’re helping so many people!❤

Sending you all so much love! I can't imagine the mental games that come from infertility. Your so brave for sharing such real content! I also struggle with tummy issues.

I was excited for you and God can still do anything even after 12 years he wants us to keep our hopes up❤ you are an amazing woman. Thank you again.

Don’t be embarrassed. That hope is what got you Cassidy. We are all here for you.

I don’t think you should feel embarrassed at all! I’ve never struggled with infertility, but I have spent many years without preventing pregnancy, so I could very easily have had this exact same experience. A bit sad that you didn’t have a miracle pregnancy? Sure! Embarrassed? No way! Praying that y’all get your next miracle soon, whether by IVF, adoption or a miraculous natural pregnancy. ❤

Gosh I wish I could take away your embarrasement. Your amazing and quit beating yourself up. I would love to be your friend and be there to give you support. I am long past having babies but it hurts to see you in pain. We all have our stories and for you to share yours is so brave. Be proud , be happy and giant hugs from Canada ....Hugs Nola

This video was so raw and real ❤ Even though we have been diagnosed with infertility, each and every month I still have hope that a miracle will happen so I believe your emotions are completely justified. Infertility sucks and is hard but you’re doing a great job navigating through it 🫶

I’ve had so many false positives this past year. Thanks for sharing. I want to just give you the biggest hug! Miracles do happen every day. Don’t feel silly, embarrassed or foolish. It’s real life with infertility. This is why you do this :)

Believe in miracles, they do happen No need to be embarrassed, sad, yes, praying for you

Sending so many prayers and love!

This is such a beautiful vlog ♥️. It took me back exactly 4 years (and 1 day) ago, when I took a test to make sure I could start my IVF medications. It was positive. Your reaction brought me to tears. The disbelief, the shock, but yet that little bit of hope that suddenly pops up... Don't feel embarrassed, please. We'll be there for you.

hello! long time sub rarely comment. but i think it is a super hero power you have to share something so deep. i truly believe you are saving someone's life. i am not a christian, and i say this only so you know, you have tons of support from outside your personal community. you have an amazing family and i am always sending my best thoughts of strength and energy to you. you are doing a great job! lots of love to you

Wishing I could reach through to hug you. I feel sad with you. ❤️ Praying for you.

You should know, but also the hope is real. Do not be embarrassed. My heart breaks for you every time. Much love for you and Phil.

Having hope is not foolish & you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I know the pain of infertility it’s very hard. I’m praying for y’all ❤

Hi Alex, You are NOT an embarrassment. You ARE strong, beautiful, encouraging & amazing. However, most importantly, this shows that you are human. You have had such a difficult road with your infertility journey & yet you always give HOPE. So thank you for being you and for being real.

Don’t be embarrassed. They are hard to read sometimes. I pray you will be fulfilled in life with another pregnancy!! ❤❤