Wow this is beautiful thank you I needed this❤️

Literally made me cry. Since turning 30, I’ve been having critical thoughts about myself and where I am in life. I have a nursing degree but have yet to pass the NCLEX. I work at a medical clinic as a receptionist/clinic assistant. Some days, I feel like maybe I should go back to school and major in something other than nursing. Other times, I feel like I should quit my job and move elsewhere and see what is destined for me. Other times, I just feel like I’m on cloud nine; I may hold a basic job, but there are so many other people who, for whatever reason, don’t have / can’t hold a job. I should push that aside and just be grateful for where I am in my life; I have a place to call home, I’m able to eat 3 meals a day, fuel up my car, etc. So, thank you for the comment. I am a winner.

Thiiis !!!! I'll be 30 this year and i really realized that it's so important to listen to my needs , and if something doesn't work out that's ok too, we can always start again. All my friends have career and married and kids, but my journey is different , sometimes i do feel bad , but everything comes at it's time

@@iambryyyan same with me !! And with the jobs too 🤣 find something that really enjoy

absolutely

I was in a PhD program for ~3 years and failed my QE but quit right after that and left with two masters. I don’t regret quitting but I regret waiting so long to quit

Contemplating quitting was a phase for me too. I quit n came back after 1 year. Try finding yourself and spend time getting to know God for yourself. It may be an experience you need to help others or maybe there’s something else out there for you.🙏🏾🙏🏾

I’ve never quite thought about things like this before, and also never heard anyone say something like this before - it’s very interesting to see a different perspective on failure, especially when everyone always says “just keep trying”. I like that you mention failure could be a blessing in disguise - like you said, sometimes things happen for a reason which often isn’t apparent in the moment. I’m commenting so I can maybe be reminded of this again in the future 😅 Also, I know you wrote this 5 months ago so maybe your circumstances may have changed somewhat now, but just want to wish you all the best if you did decide not to stick with the phd (or likewise, if you did decide to stick with it, I hope you’re able to find happiness with it - even though there may have been parts you didn’t enjoy, I bet you still picked up so many amazing skills, PhDs are tough!)

my situation is VERY different but this is exactly how i felt about being rejected from the film schools i applied to for college. when i was rejected, i actually went through a lot of thinking and discovery of myself and i found out that i did not want to pursue a career in film after a LOT of self-reflection. i am now in university studying pre-law and that's my current plan for my life. it feels so much more right. and i know that if i were accepted to the film school i really wanted to go to, i would have gone without thinking about it more and i'd probably study the whole four years and THEN realize what my my true passion and ideal lifestyle are. and by then it would be impossible to turn back time and start over again.

How is phd different from what you have imagined ?

I’m hoping to get into my local io masters program this Upcoming fall! What does your program consists of?

@@larklarkleahleah62 awesome, congrats! And the program consists of classes for about 2 1/2 years, thesis (if you don’t have your masters already), preliminary exams and dissertation

Psych student going through depression

Oh io psych! Next year I start my masters and I think of choosing IO psych, i hope it'll be the good decision lol. I wish the best for you on your journey !

@@sheilakimaru5988 as shocking as a doctor getting sick

When you said every kind or crisis I felt that. And didn’t even know I could. Congrats!

Jesus loves you!😊❤

mhm felt that!

I am literally about to be in this situation right now. Thank you so much for sharing your story 💛

Ahh I’m in the middle of something like this right now and I am really scared.

I feel you. I’m a black girl in STEM and it’s hard to celebrate when I’m so dead set on proving myself and passing. I’ve been so depressed. But this video is inspiring, and your comment is too! ❤

prove yourself to yourself or to others? I feel like everyone has to prove themselves in a STEM program, and this is not limited to a certain gender or ethnicity. Maybe it depends on the country? But, here exams are mostly objective, so everyone is equal. If you are proving to yourself in a way that you think you are doing more than others, Idk if that is a healthy approach. I would want to be comfortable with myself, and prove that I am doing good, and I do sometimes blame my history of the idea. Oh! I came from this background, so I am proud of the milestones I have completed. In reality, that was just to try and build my ego, and I needed to be humbled. Don't take your history to boost yourself like that because being humbled as a I am assuming you are a healthcare worker will land you places that egoism can't. Anyway, I am a STEM too, and I know how overwhelming it is, so I wish you the best of luck. And btw I wrote this because I used to think that proving myself was healthy, but it also made me remember all the traumas I had, and that was causing me depression instead alleviate the pain. Now, I think of it, I am a student in a system where most students fail, but I want to put on the effort, so that I don't be that student who fails. But, If I do fail somewhere, I have to keep fighting, and learn from it rather stress about it for long. That realization probably came to me after I intentionally flopped a final exam because I realized how unhealthy it is to be sort of feeling lonely is a lonely world meaning that my story was not good for me, so I needed to help myself forget about it by you can say forming close-nit relationships with friends, rather than dwell on the past(waste of time+energy+traumatic+added stress+excuses to accept failure rather than fight against failure and ignore all the irrelevant stuff related to the young old days). I don't know if you got all that, but I am happy to have written this :)

how does your gender or skind colour play into this? If anything, minorities have an advantage in STEM, because everyone there would LOVE a more diverse work environment.

@@MrTrollo2 Yep. I don't see how that correlates, but it really depends on the STEM path+culture+country...

@@MrTrollo2 For me, it’s the feeling that people expect you to fail and that your failure will be used as proof that black people/women/black women can’t do something.

Hey, hope all is well. Congrats on passing! I’ve failed twice now, do you have any tips? I’m so discouraged and depressed. I wanna pass before the nextgen comes in April but idk man.

This is a whole word!!!!

From what I have heard even competitive schools have nursing students that fail to the point where it threatens there accreditation. You would be surprised some of the schools which are "at risk" for losing accreditation.

I failed my private pilot written, which I've been told I probably shouldn't even be a pilot if I fail something so easy. They were easy questions, especially after going back and legit studying,but I had rushed beforehand.

hope you're doing well!

don't cryyyyyy! I cried watching it back too. I also have never recorded myself crying because it's quite strange but felt it was needed here lol.

@@TeAmoAaron My heart is so soft. I cant help the tears lol. I empathize with how hard academia can be sometimes. It really drags you by the edges and makes you question if this is even the right path. I'm glad you found a way to weather the storm and are open enough to show folks your process.

I definitely disagree. Especially on social media, it's very rare for people to discuss their failures and they usually focus on the highlights. Even in real life, many feel shameful for their failures and it's hard for them to talk about. Failure is certainly not a topic people are comfortable discussing so I appreciate this video.

something being normal doesn't mean society accepts it tho! periods are normal, but many religious groups call them shameful. there are tons of examples but my brain isn't giving me anymore that easily right now

I completely understand what you are saying; I personally know everyone fails but I feel like it is not advertised as much. The majority of stories that are shared are just when people have successes. Everything is condensed into here's where I came from and here's where I'm at now but not many people share the in-between moments. Especially on social media, most just show results or fake depictions of life that are photoshopped or edited in some way, shape, or form. For those that happen to want to highlight more realistic depictions of events, they are ostracized in a lot of ways as being mentally unstable or incapable. There is a stigma with failure that adds stress on those feeling it that doesn't allow them to share it a lot of the time because they fear they will be rejected for it which is said. I feel like recognizing we have failed and showing that life does go on after failures based on how you deal with them is key. And this was the most perfect depiction of someone doing just that. The more people see this kind of content, the more people will be able to share their own stories of this happening without feeling shame! And I for one and all for that.

Yeah tell that to my parents who used to get passive aggressive with me for a week anytime I got less anything less than an A (which was most of the time)

its definitely not normalized or talked about enough especially in the capitalistic hustle culture america is

And so are you beauty!!

how can someone think something like this but still go for a phd? Seems to me like two clear opposite things

I CLAIM THIS!

I'm glad! How's school?

Absolutely!

@@TeAmoAaron you got this reset mentally and handle it, now you know what to expect, game changer!!

Good luck to you!

@@DM-qw2ng thanks so much!

hi my love. What you've shard with me is a passive suicidal thought. I have had this as well years ago and I had no idea it was even considered "suicidal" until I talked to a therapist. Please please please seek out help. I know it may not feel that it's suicidal (maybe you do not currently have a plan to do so, etc.) but the thoughts you are having need to be discussed with a professional. sending you much love

@@TeAmoAaron oh no i def know i was suicidal. i’m slowly coming out of it after years of feeling that way because i finally found a medicine that works (i have bipolar depression). thank you tho! 💜

You will do really well!!!

I hope Computer Science is going well for you. I know how tough that course is, and I wish you the best. Stay strong 🤗

Did you pass?

And now that’s it’s playing my heart hurts for you!! Hang in there regardless where this video ends up!🤍

Same. I’m glad you were able to get into a new program and go with a more proactive approach. I’m having a hard time with not comparing myself to others. So, I’m currently trying to take it one day at a time as well. And same. It’s great to see POC thrive! 😊 🙌🏿