I fixed the Rings Of Power | Watching as a Writer

Рет қаралды 34,798

Күн бұрын

Can it really be fixed? Well... I did my best. Be my judge.
In this "watching as a writer" video, I propose a way to fix some of the writing issues in the show. It's been quite a challenge, but I like the result.
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* * * DISCLAIMER * * *
All my fixes are relatively high-level. Without resolving scene-level issues, it still won't work.
I am still an unpublished writer, so consume my thoughts on writing at your own risk.
At the time of recording, I haven't watched episode 5 yet, so some of the things I say may not make sense anymore.
* * * RESOURCES * * *
Reveal bad
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Pop sound: freesound.org/people/greenvwb...
Reveal good
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Paper
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Children Joy
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Forest day
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Liquid sounds:
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Whoosh sound: freesound.org/people/SkyernAk...
Village Meeting Crowd sounds:
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Horse cart:
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* * * Music * * *
The Empty Moons of Jupiter - Div Kid
Elegy - Wayne Jones
Dead Forest - Brian Bolger
Music for Manatees Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
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Scenes from Amazon's rings of power and from LOTR are used under fair use.
* * * Timestamps * * *
Intro (0:00)
Goals and Rules (0:24)
If I were to start from scratch (0:52)
To-Fix #1 (2:28)
This part took me hours (03:32)
To-Fix #2 (3:48)
To-Fix #3 (4:58)
To-Fix #4 (6:31)
THE STORY, FIXED (7:17)
What about other plotlines? (13:30)
Did it work? (15:15)

Пікірлер: 380

@shadow.banned Жыл бұрын

Think about how toxic of a production it was that nobody was able to say "no" to bad ideas, without being fired.

@someoneelse1904 Жыл бұрын

Big time! Or question some of the pathetically weak dialogue.

@havanatlc8792 Жыл бұрын

It’s a recipe for disaster.

@sechs6 Жыл бұрын

I worked for Amazon and was fired precisely because I did not agree with the way the team leader treated the workers ..

@anastudio5248 Жыл бұрын

That's because they were afraid of elves taking their jobs

@darsin7053 Жыл бұрын

I was wondering also if any actors tried improvising on there lines

@sarielwaveborn6294 Жыл бұрын

So simple, dynamic and so much more logical! Bravo! I wish Amazon had the brains to hire such talented people😩

@pveraeternvs3777 Жыл бұрын

They could have done it, but they didnt want to. They chose activists

@kristijan8518 Жыл бұрын

hiring people based on skill and knowledge is racist.

@sarielwaveborn6294 Жыл бұрын

@@kristijan8518 hahaha shit)

@jayj2524 Жыл бұрын

I think they only hire writers or directors who can control easily by their own purposes or wills.

@jonathanstewart351 Жыл бұрын

Amazon is run by lawyers and money grubbers. People who are paid NOT to have imaginations but have huge egos and think because they're rich they can do anything - even be truly creative. They have no respect for anything but money and are naïve about everything else.

@YamiY Жыл бұрын

Burst out laughing at the "unhinged love for riding horses" line bc it's so true 😂😂😂😂

@roberthoeffer7419 Жыл бұрын

good job, I wanted to offer an alternative to some of your rewrites. Per the lore, Galadriel is married and has a daughter. So much more of the show might work if instead of Galadriel, the same actions were taken by her daughter, with interactions with Elrond made more distant to build romance between the two, and now you can have a more youthful elf approach these scenes from a relative position of naivety (that Galadriel, as the one of the eldest Noldor in middle earth, would not have), while giving the writers more freedom to work with a character not as well defined as Elrond or Galadriel

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Yes, I agree. I think focusing on Galadriel's daughter would have made a lot of sense!

@davidwebb6556 Жыл бұрын

Oh my word. This is SOOOOOOO much better. The tension around immortality is the key to it, would give the chance for so many bittersweet moments.

@themightypen1530 Жыл бұрын

This is I think the 4th video I've watched about how ROP could be fixed by better writing. All of them have very different approaches and all of them (including this one) would indeed have been worlds better than what we got. Finding more talented writers for the show is as simple as clicking through KZfaq videos and Amazon can't be bothered.

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

I'd be curious to check them out also. If you could share a link or video names - I'd appreciate it.

@Vahtacen Жыл бұрын

Would love your recommendations for 'ROP fixed' videos

@jordansamuels2052 Жыл бұрын

@@BookFurnace +1

@listonrice5230 Жыл бұрын

@@BookFurnace kzfaq.info/get/bejne/oM5ni5t53Zi8Y30.html My favorite "what they could've written instead" so far. This video is a completely different story, as opposed to your fix-up (which I also think is excellent)

@4k4DexYT Жыл бұрын

Well it is prety easy to say what to fix. Once u see whats wrong. Isnt it?

@jojobookish9529 Жыл бұрын

Galadriel's problem is they've given her central flaw that doesn't mesh with her arc. Galadriel's struggle is not about trauma or vengeance. It's about her pride and her desire for control over others. That's the same flaw Sauron has. They could have been great foils to each other as she watches a (completely recast) Celebrimbor fall under Annatar/Sauron's sway and is unable to convince him this mysterious teacher is not to be trusted.

@changliu4425 Жыл бұрын

The Rings of Power will slowly turn its audiences into Nazgûls, as they keep guessing who is Sauron, however, Sauron isn't in The Rings of Power, Sauron made them

@nisher15 Жыл бұрын

Jokes on you. Amazon doesnt care about canon.

@jonathanstewart351 Жыл бұрын

Jokes on Amazon because we do.

@ismata3274 Жыл бұрын

😶...😳😳😳..... Damn man! 😵😵😵 You ve dragonfired the fourth wall down!!!!!!🥶😭 Auch!!!!!😫😫😫

@flaviomonteiro1414 Жыл бұрын

Perphaps the true Sauron are the friends we made along the way?

@mustang607 Жыл бұрын

But instead of flying toward the cities on giant fell beasts, they are loaded into buses.

@Alex-nk8bw Жыл бұрын

My biggest gripe with the show (among literally dozens of others), is Galadriel's adolescent behaviour. She's acting like a spoiled 15 years old brat, not like a wise, 5.000 years old elven woman, who was born and raised in Valinor, has seen the light of the trees (and their destruction), who has seen and fought the greatest evil in the world. I mean, they even have her narrate the intro of Ep1 (omitting the Kinslaying, but hey, that's not really important, is it!?), implying her age. So why the flying f++k isn't she acting accordingly!?

@robis7238 Жыл бұрын

Her script is a reflection of the writers' own immaturity and personal values. A good script would capture the struggle of good vs evil. RoP blurs those lines so that the audience can't root for one side or the other. It's turns out to be bland.

@Rogue_4 Жыл бұрын

A huge improvement, to be sure. The show still would have been better without the time compaction, but you are right, that would be a completely different show. As far as Galadriel goes, I think one more big change is necessary both for the sake of the lore and for getting around that pesky "Galadriel should be iconic" problem... Make her Celebrian. Galadriel and Celeborn's daughter Celebrian would look a lot like her, you would still be able to name drop her mother to lend gravitas, there is very little lore to break, and she can be depicted as younger and more developmental than Galadriel. On top of that, you get a built in slow-burn love story between her and Elrond.

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind feedback. Your Celebrian idea is awesome, solves a lot of issues indeed!

@TheWilyx Жыл бұрын

This would have allowed much more wiggle room

@el0blaino Жыл бұрын

Great idea!!!

@MustafaAlmosawi Жыл бұрын

One challenge though - is that we do have to get Nenya into Galadriel’s hands, and having her as a background character doesn’t work as well. I still like the idea of Celebrian a lot though, if you’re going to have a less mature character. Though honestly I think this writing team could screw up anything.

@TheWilyx Жыл бұрын

@@MustafaAlmosawi She wouldn't have to be a background character, just not a leading character. Could have a role like Gandalf does on the books. Shows up here and there but isn't really the focus of attention.

@writereducator Жыл бұрын

Writers: We need some conflict between man and elves. Let's see. Elves live forever and we all die. Nah. How about: Elves will take our jobs? Yeah!

@bifrostbeberast3246 13 күн бұрын

Damn those immigran... uhm elves!

@speaktruth9843 Жыл бұрын

I’m a literature major, not a writer, but you have great stuff. Keep going, and I’ll be here for your entire yet quick journey to success.

@InspiringPhilosophy Жыл бұрын

You came up with a better story in so little time and didn't even have a billion dollars. I thought enough money could just buy good writing?

@charleslavoie7622 Жыл бұрын

I so love your story reworking ! It eliminates SO MUCH of the pointless scenes and ties together all the remaining good, plot-driving scenes !

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you :)

@conniemink Жыл бұрын

Yep. You fixed it. Definitely a lot more heart and connection in your version.

@JorJorIvanovitch Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this! I like your rewrite so much more than this show, which is so bad in its writing. I loved your last video about the "lack of love" also. The showrunners said they spent 4.5 years making the series up to now and this is what they've given us? It's garbage. They should watch your channel, or hire you to write or consult on future seasons. The way you outline the writing process is very helpful. I've considered applying to the University of Iowa Writer's Workshop, but I'm more of an academic philosophy type. I appreciate your channel. Please keep up your quality work.

@MrCadutargino Жыл бұрын

Very good. I hope amazon give you a call for the next season..

@lbrowning2543 Жыл бұрын

Great ideas. Agree they are copying Game of Thrones and need better /any plot points. Tolkien wasn’t trying to glorify war and even turned “bad ass” on its head by having the furry little Hobbits win the day. The battle scene for Tolkien was Act 3 not the whole darn thing . He built up to the violence and came up with conflict pertinent to the plot some humorous, some magical, some character’s inner conflict. He had ideas for conflict and story besides solely trying to horrify and gross the audience out. The difference between literature and video games.

@brunsomarrr Жыл бұрын

Nailed it. I feel we are watching a video game with ROP.

@yw1971 Жыл бұрын

6:57 - It's too complicated for the writers... They did not get at all the main themes of Tolkien, probably because they only saw the movies... All they care about was to copy the look of the movies.

@jonathanstewart351 Жыл бұрын

Exactly. The movies were to the books as water is to fine wine. Now what do we have? Swamp water.

@starfire451 Жыл бұрын

Great vid. I'd have led with Adar betraying his kin by running them into an orc ambush. Set him up as the villain from the opening scene. When Galadriel returns from unsuccessfully finding Sauron, she's sent looking for Adar. I'd have it revealed halfway through the season that Sauron was still alive and within her hunting party hiding as one of them, dividing the group with strong suspicions of each other (like The Thing) before they could reach Adar. I'd definitely have shown Sauron's werewolf form by this stage. I'd have gotten rid of the harfoots and introduced Numenor and it's politics at the halfway mark after the group lost their first battle with Adar. They'd return with greater numbers before Sauron reveals his true self, sabotaging the mission and killing all who saw him. I think that 5 minutes of thought is still a better draft that what we got.

@ryanmorris3114 Жыл бұрын

Dude, fantastic. Such a good treatment, there are a few areas which need a slight improvement, however, in general so much better than the actual show, mostly, as you say, because what connects all the plot threads is now much clearer. The audience can then follow this logical progression of through each storyline. I also appreciate you pointing out how the ROP show often uses lies and duplicitous characters - a very GOT thing - when in reality that was not a story device common to Tolkien's Middle-Earth. I think this is a case of Amazon telling the writers - we want GOT in Middle-Earth. Make it happen :S Let's say the effects have been mixed so far ...

@Jaasau Жыл бұрын

This is SUCH good commentary on the series. Your character and theme analysis are great.

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you! Glad to hear you liked it:)

@gordkennedy1059 Жыл бұрын

This is much better, It feels like there's progress, steady introduction of characters and the plot unfolds. I have no idea what was going on with 90% of rings of power. I would love to see a video series where you redo the rings of power in this style, like a story with shots from the series.

@MrBst68 Жыл бұрын

This is so helpfull! And so much more relatable. I could really see the scenes and connect to the characters in your presentation, which I did not do at all watching all the episodes :D "Tension around immortality instead of tension around unemployment" - so obvious, so brilliant.

@michaelransom5841 Жыл бұрын

Thinking it through, death loss, sacrifice, surviving the passage of others, the cruel irony of how life feeds on life, to grow powerful is to consume lives... the moral implications of all of this... That should gave been the theme to guide the story... it's no accident that these play such a large roll in the source material. these were the very things on Tolkien's min as he wrote the stories that flush out his expanded universe and were likely subconscious to an extent as they permeate his entire work at the deepest level. Thus is why following this theme would make it feel like Tolkien.. And yes that makes the spread of the blight work perfectly as the plot device... it is the spread of death, consumption of the good and beautiful fueling the rise of an evil consumed with only itself. with preventing itself from ever dying, from ever being overpowered by a greater force. the obsession that consumes this evil forces it to consume and destroy all around it. Who among us hasn't been left behind, doesn't carry some pain in our hearts. who doesn't sometimes want to stop time and have power to keep things from changing (the very reason for the creation of the rings) These are universal truths... yes.. there was a massive lost opportunity here.

@ZMACxx Жыл бұрын

I almost wish I hadn’t seen this, because it pains me to think of how epic this show could have been with competent storytelling. 😭

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Hah I feel your pain. Sorry:) Well maybe there will still be a chance to see another take in our lifetime.

@kaysec Жыл бұрын

Should we start a petition to get Amazon to hire you for the next season? I’m for it! Much better!

@haukionkannel Жыл бұрын

We should petition to have any good writer... It is easier to be wise afterwards, but basic story telling "rules" should work. Ad this man here seems to follow basic rules as needed. Things has to be connected together, so that the story develops and has individual actions have a meaning. We should care character. There can be annoying characters (Like Asoka in the beginning of the Clone wars series) but they should develop and learn. Maybe they try to do that with Galadriel. Galadriel was proud and very different in the early years than she is during war of the rings, but this different... Hard to say. But all in all you should like or like to hate characters. For example in Firefly you like to hate the villains. The villains were great and I liked them all for what they were. Maybe they try to do the same as they did with Asoka and try to get us hating Galadriel and lar to like her little by little during 5 seasons. Lets see, but the disconnection of events and characters behaving stupidly is bad. Elves were hundreds and thousands yours old. You lear thing or two in that time. And for example dropping a weapon when surrounded by mortal enemies could be something that maybe a child could do. Not someone liver several hundred of years. And yeah, envy of elven immortality was one thing that did bring the end of Numenor in books also, so having seeds of that in this early in story would be just logical!

@henrikaugustsson4041 Жыл бұрын

Why polish a turd, though? Is there any point in getting a better writer for the next season of the first season has no momentum or potential?

@garethmiguel Жыл бұрын

@@henrikaugustsson4041 plenty of first seasons of many shows were awful. Star Trek the next generation is a good example. The producers learn lessons and modify the show accordingly.

@henrikaugustsson4041 Жыл бұрын

@@garethmiguel There’s a difference. Star Trek still had potential. I don’t recall the first season being bad, but I do recall being very intrigued by the first episode and the characters in the show. Especially Data.

@garethmiguel Жыл бұрын

@@henrikaugustsson4041 It's well known, and documented, that the first season of TNG was (and still is!) heavily criticised. I'm not talking about my own recollection or opinion of the show. The fact that it had potential is only obvious now with the benefit of hindsight.

@bilcal Жыл бұрын

Well done! Glad you showed how to keep it in the tone of Middle Earth and not a rerun of Games of Thrones. 👍

@dansiegel333 Жыл бұрын

Very compelling video- eloquent and imaginative! If you are a writer yourself I hope to see your work someday. As you spoke about elven immortality and human mortality, the 1974 science fiction/ fantasy film Zardoz came to my mind. It dealt with the conflict between a a society of immortals and the barbarians excluded from it. The movie ended with an unforgettable memento mori sequence played out to Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony.

@dlevi67 Жыл бұрын

The "non allegro" allegretto?

@dansiegel333 Жыл бұрын

@@dlevi67 Yes, precisely (aka second movement). Definitely not allegro!

@xenoaltrax485 Жыл бұрын

Now that was a good rewrite, bravo! But I still want Guyladriel to smirk at everyone, throw the sea serpent into a cage single-handed, and break all the dwarven rocks barehanded! 😂

@borreliaetc Жыл бұрын

I wish you were the head writer, this is a FAR more believable plot for Middle-earth -- and all of my tension around Galadriel melted. You are incredibly talented, please do more episodes! I can feel the love you have for ME.. instead of just complaining, I wish more people would be thinking, "what would I do?" I so wanted to see Numenor's start, I wanted to meet Elros and the members of the Edain that settled the island..I I want to feel invested in Numenor so when it falls we feel the lack of it in ME. I don't like Gil-Galad being so rotten, aren't Elves (those not corrupted by Morgoth) supposed to be morally upright?? I felt just as uneasy with the kids bullying young Galadriel. I hope to see more!

@nooked23 Жыл бұрын

If they spent a higher portion of the budget for writers over the cgi this would be amazing.

@sarahe1491 Жыл бұрын

All the writers with suggestions for improvement on this series have had such better takes on this story. Love your ideas and they make so much more sense and honor all the characters better. There is so much talent out there, can't understand how so many bad writers are hired on such huge projects.

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you. I think much of it is a consequence of hiring writers through personal connections rather than open competition. Tends to create strange self-reinforcing bubbles of poor writing practices.

@anastudio5248 Жыл бұрын

That would be SO MUCH better! If I saw this on the screen I would be interested and wouldn't complain. And the funny part - it's all already in there, but told in suuuuch a bad way. I also think that ROP has it's interesting moments, but they made so little effort in actually telling the story that those moments are barely visible.

@plutoniumzeppelin8164 Жыл бұрын

After seeing RoP in its current form and watching this video, I really wish you had written the show

@gonaye1 Жыл бұрын

Really wonderful re-write of the first episode. Much easier to follow and treats Galadriel as a legendary character (just as you recommended). I would love to hear how you would continue to write out this series using those plot points. Perhaps it can become a Kickstarter or podcast of its own lol!

@richardrogers5242 Жыл бұрын

Really excellent insights, sir. In all cases you've made the story elements immensely better. Such a first episode would certainly draw me in.

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you :))

@Running-withscissors Жыл бұрын

Really well done. Tolkien Lore has a treatment that ignores the show entirely and far more engaging than the show we have, but taking on what the show actually is and "course corrections" so well was equally exciting. It would be very interesting to see Tolkien Lore, Book Furnace and Critical Drinker together on a stream, perhaps with MauLer on a EFAP dedicated to an alternate "Save RoP" stream sometime.

@Running-withscissors Жыл бұрын

PS I subscribed and look forward to reviewing your other videos in writing in this medium.

@EricHadleyIves Жыл бұрын

Thank you, I do like your suggestions, and I think the series would be far better if the show runners had a vision closer to yours.

@kurczonypieczak5355 Жыл бұрын

I became interested what will happen in your story while listening. Good job!

@strangebeer Жыл бұрын

Love those ideas. Elegant and with actual care for the characters. The current writers are demonstrating a huge immaturity...which is why not a single character can act in an adult way. I think this betrayal is an attitude that fantasy tales are for children and actors gurn and pout their parts like schoolyard bullies. If the writers wrote with an adult audience as a main focus such games and petty schemes wouldn't have a place in the story. Excellent video, good sir.

@Boudanyoussefraqs Жыл бұрын

This is absolutely fantastic and mind blowing. It makes sense how you place the pacing together, as I never thought of it that way. Fantastic.

@illyrusemperor9278 Жыл бұрын

Funny thing is, for 5 episodes, they were building the story for numenorians to go to war. And when they finally decided to go to war, i felt... nothing. No excitement, no adrenaline, no joy... absolutely nothing. Contrary to when ents decide to go to war, or when Aragorn calls the dead army to join him to go to war - you feel this relief and excitement. For me this is the key failure of this TV show

@emberpowertcg7692 Жыл бұрын

Even though it wont be miles better, hoping for a fan edit of the show,or at least the first season Also, have to applaud your work purely based on the fact I have the exact same lobster plush, and you know...the ton of editing and work put into this!

@destinvoulgaris5465 Жыл бұрын

Excellent input! Why didn’t the writers have someone like this on their team? Or did they and why didn’t they listen? Such a missed opportunity to produce something great. This take on Galadriel as an iconic character, rather than an unlikeable brat is what we were craving. Themes such as immortality are literally timeless, rather than “they took our jobs” - which doesn’t even make sense in Middle Earth lol. And yes why aren’t there more scenes such as epic sea monster battles? It’s already episode 5 and we’ve hardly seen anything creative in terms of beasts- best we’ve got are some bizarre looking prehistoric wolves. All that funding- where’d it go?

@Nicklander Жыл бұрын

Your video proves that despite all the Twitter complaints about politics, breaking lore changes & misunderstanding of Tolkien... there actually is a much bigger issue underlying in the writing that doesn't get addressed on Twitter. The thing is Amazon could actually have gotten away with their politics & lore changes, if they only followed your criticism. The difference would have been day & night. But of course the ideal result that fans expected would have been a fixed story PLUS paying tribute to Tolkien's values and not breaking the lore.

@tsemayekekema2918 Жыл бұрын

A village council (which is standard in all rural areas of all times & places) is conspicuously missing in ROP just to put a strong whamen in charge for no realistic reason

@pepsipwns666 Жыл бұрын

This story is 100x better than amazons, I'm sure your an excellent writer but its really really sad that 1b$ cant buy a writer as good if not better than you? What did they spend their money on :(

@jonathanstewart351 Жыл бұрын

They spent it on patting themselves on the back and thinking they knew what they were doing.

@michaelransom5841 Жыл бұрын

I really do wonder what they sent their money on!.. It sure as S&*t wasn't on the costumes!... printed mail?? what is this a costume party?? The CGI is meh... At only 8 episodes it's not like it was on just sheer volume.. and they definitely didn't spend it on competent writers, soooo??? Where exactly did the money go???

@DarksideGmss0513 Жыл бұрын

Most of that budget likely went towards the visuals

@EAsp100 Жыл бұрын

I need AT LEAST another 20 videos in this series. Love how you explain it

@velianlodestone1249 Жыл бұрын

Well done! Now for the next level.. this weeks episode!

@kkavehma1 Жыл бұрын

Excellent piece! Loved your alternate modifications. I wish this was the actual show! Your analysis is spot on to me.

@charlie.on.youtube Жыл бұрын

Your spot-on comparison about "fear of death" vs. "fear of unemployment" reminded me of a similar comparison to Star Wars original trilogy vs. prequels. In the original story, George's battle lines were clearly drawn and built upon our most innate understanding of good triumphing over evil. In the prequels it was, "Look out, kids! It's a trade embargo! Ooo!!! Scary!!!"

@EddieMane Жыл бұрын

Just found your channel. After that great breakdown of the real flaw of the show I'm subscribed. Keep it up!

@jakew5054 Жыл бұрын

Wow, I wish I could have seen this story. Something this compelling is so much less egregious where it strays from Tolkien lore!

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you :)

@Blobby3822 Жыл бұрын

This video and the previous one about RoP are very interesting. Well done.

@writereducator Жыл бұрын

Excellent fixes, Book Furnace!

@ericsaari2901 Жыл бұрын

I'm truly saddened that they didn't do that - just as you said - let us experience the passing of time through the Elven perspective, by showing a generation of Men per season. That alone would have given the show such an epic scope that this time period of Tolkien's work is so tailor-made for. Granted, there's writing fixes that would also have had to have happened on the character level, scene level, and episode level. Writing, or lack of a beautiful plan for the series, as you say a love for it, is truly evident. It doesn't matter what they do now. Having established the foundation of their story and characters as they have with this initial season, I won't watch the rest, unless they fire the showrunners, apologize for all of the comments against the fans (Tolkien lore fans and readers, but also fans of Peter Jackson's movies, because they don't realize they are insulting them too when they insult Tolkien fans, and that's pretty much everyone), get new writers, and do a complete reboot. Just say that we realize we did everything wrong and we will make it amazing. Having paid for 5 seasons, they could literally do that, but they won't. If they did, I'd watch it. Anyhow, I like your suggested fixes, and I wish Amazon had the foresight to realize that the core of the show would come from the talent of the writing, and you have proven that. I'd watch your version, by the way. I have lamented poor writing in shows for years, but this show came along and made a complete case study of it.

@bboyandi82 Жыл бұрын

good stuff. The RoP feel like they wanted to make a disney plus series with everybody beeing cute, clumsy and impulsive. Yet, the original setting is a brutal war! Also the means of prolonging the progress of events, like in every series nowadays, are hopelessly exaggerated and so obvious in the show. I think that's what's pissing off a lot of people

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you:) And yes, I agree and prolonging the progress. I am a little confused about this strategy. Perhaps they thought that one drawn out show with a LOTR label is a more sure profit than a tightly paced one and a later spin off / origin story, but they've overplayed that card either through miscalculation or just by accident. This kind of relates to what's happening in scifi nowadays, which I spoke about in my other video.

@almVancouver Жыл бұрын

This is much more interesting. Can you please continue to fix this mess? Looking forward to what you come up with. Thanks...just thanks.

@ozlozano9470 Жыл бұрын

You are the new writer for Rings of power Some one give this man a job.

@beevie4081 Жыл бұрын

This is wonderful. Now I want to hear what you propose for Galadriel's redemption in future seasons given what actually happened in season one. If only the writers of Avatar the Last Airbender would be hired. She needs an Uncle Iroh to help her find her way.

@oliverholmes210 Жыл бұрын

Could you keep going with this with another video? I really liked the way you would of written this show, and it will be great to see where you would go with this story!

@igottajoe9294 Жыл бұрын

This storyline is now my head canon for the series

@douglasrichter5702 Жыл бұрын

Good work! I liked your plot and first episode quite a bit.

@Prototype-357 Жыл бұрын

Your rewrite was super easy to follow, you explained it really well, I was able to picture everything in my head, the pacing really stuck out to me as each scene flowed naturally into the next one. As an aspiring writer myself I really strugle to grasp when pacing is bad or not, I watch something like RoP and wonder why everything feels so disconected and the answer is usually pacing but my brain never realizes that's the answer until its pointed out to me. I think the show writers were too concerned with just making sure "stuff happened" in the first episode, we say the first episode/chapter is the one that should hook the audience and I think the writer's method was to throw everything they could think of at the audience all at once in the hopes that at least one thing would hook them, that's just my perception and I hope it's completely wrong cause it seems like an amateur mistake even for me, you need make each scene count and that takes meticulous planning.

@tsemayekekema2918 Жыл бұрын

You're great as a writer. I never imagined someone could be this goog in making ROP good for once

@jambalt6500 Жыл бұрын

This was amazing. I wish Amazon had hired you as a writer!

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you:)

@stefan.defiman Жыл бұрын

Thanks for your very improved storytelling, I would go for it for sure. All the plots would be more connected to each other and so would be the characters instead of being so unemotional and without any real motivation as they were at the actual plot 👍🏻

@NataliaUrsalova Жыл бұрын

I would love to see your version!

@OnlyAFoolsHope Жыл бұрын

Bro, your version blew the actual story away. The only thing I would add is a flashback of Erendil sailing with a Silmaril against Ancalagon The Black. (To show how she got the “Light of Erendil” she later gave to Frodo.) I would also fix Finrod’s death back in line with the original story. His actual life story is infinitely more awesome than the show, and ends much more tragically… this would give viewers a better understanding of how early Numenor started and of Galadriel’s mission against Sauron. Overall, already so many missed opportunities with the show…

@suziechapstick8236 Жыл бұрын

Even as a (very) amateur writer, I know that when you have the task of adapting anyone else's work, you must view yourself as a caretaker who tries their best to preserve the tone and themes of the material rather than becoming a joyrider who takes it in whatever direction they see fit. And this series, in addition to several other big franchise spinoffs, is definitely a case of the writers taking the keys to daddy's car and driving it right into a ditch.

@joab757 Жыл бұрын

This episode is 100x better than what we got

@Kahrahnus Жыл бұрын

Hoorah! Great job done. Thank you

@mistaajones Жыл бұрын

After the first two episodes I thought I was watching a random fantasy show on netflix/HBO/hulu that got cancelled after the first season. The writing, dialogue and acting was just that horrendous. I've never been so excited to watch a show/film and almost immediately feel compelled to start scrolling through instagram instead... And then you read about some behind the scenes stuff like Clark being traumatized by acting out her fight scenes and you start to wonder if they even held auditions or if they just hired actors based on "looking the part".

@Otokage007 Жыл бұрын

An excellent review. A lot of things I thought but couldn't put into words. throughout the video I found myself saying: yes!!! exactly what I was thinking!!!!! 🤣 Thank you.

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you:) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

@DdHenley307 Жыл бұрын

You nailed with the characterizations. No one on this show gives off the awe inspiring that they did in the books. Elves are shady and the Numenorians are just regular people. They are ruining what made it so epic when it all falls apart. Elves are just regular people with pointy ear make up and they don't let you forget it

@jonathanstewart351 Жыл бұрын

You have truly great ideas! If only... And love the red/green chart.

@mattmorrissey1249 Жыл бұрын

You are an impressive person. Your knowledge of writing really shows me the naivety of the showrunners/writers that amazon decided to go with.

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words :)

@michaelbirder8309 Жыл бұрын

Fantastic video. Very well done.

@narnia1233 Жыл бұрын

Bravo, 👏 it’s much better. I actually like that essentially the main focus is on the Numenorians, Southlands, instead of Galadriel. The mother and son story I just like that better too. A family story. There’s so much potential with that, especially in a show with time skips. It’s easier to get invested in the idea of the human’s plight versus the elves-at least in this story Amazon has made. Especially the Southlands because we know they’re not powerful-just simple farmers. And the people of the Southlands even apparently were on the wrong side originally. And you know everyone loves a good redemption story. The fact that they have ties to both good and evil in the story makes them interesting. I also can see why Tolkien may have made the main character Frodo in LOTRs, having the most vulnerable character as the lead makes the villain even more formidable and the story becomes more dire and crucial-it’s something we can relate to. It’s difficult for us to relate to an elf, an immortal being. But I also like how you make the plight of the elves more clear too and have the characters clearly reacting to that. That’s a good way to get people watching to care about the elves. It’s nice to tie in that the danger affects everyone and how that will bring everyone together. I think you really get that sense of “we’re all facing a great evil together” then when the falling meteor is seen at the end and seeing everyone looking up at it.

@giovannisantostasi9615 Жыл бұрын

I like this because most people that criticize the show do not offer an alternative besides, it is not what the original story (that is vague anyway given it is not LOTR that has a consistent plot) said. You use most of the show ideas but you basically did a great editing job in making the story more compelling and coherent. Very good.

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you :)

@DreamsOfLegend Жыл бұрын

Holy crap man you ABSOLUTELY fixed the show! Makes watching it more painful now 😅

@rmmj7james293 Жыл бұрын

Really good stuff here. I think you're right on almost everything, although you know more about this stuff than me. Galadriel at this time would be an elven supremacist. So being an snarky and dismissive with humans fits for me, so her arc could be to overcome her prejudice. The script doctor thing i would change with her would she acted differently with elves. With elves, wise and measured. With humans a total Karen, and shedding that over the story.

@davis_v1876 Жыл бұрын

Now, I'm sad that I'll never get to see it. Well done.

@nowamajormotionpictureeven3797 Жыл бұрын

Great analysis!

@bortstanson2034 Жыл бұрын

And you didn't need a billion dollars for this much more interesting rewrite.

@MustafaAlmosawi Жыл бұрын

As a treatment level it’s already feeling more connected and interesting than the current show. Well done! I especially like the improved pacing. The pacing in this show is glacial, they’ve set up so many mysteries and yet few characters are compelling - almost none of the leads. Least of all is poor Galadriel, a sad caricature of how to poorly write a protagonist. At least House of the Dragon is interesting. There’s a show where none of the characters are exactly likeable, but they still manage to be compelling. Is it the writing? Is it the acting? Is it both? 😂

@charliecharliecharlie666 Жыл бұрын

so much cleaner and it makes so much more sense.

@HumanTouchArt Жыл бұрын

wow this story is actualy whay more intrsting than anything we have seen so far so much better ....

@BookFurnace Жыл бұрын

Thank you :)

@Lidde Жыл бұрын

Good Work bro. Keep ut up!

@arminaleth9354 Жыл бұрын

I'm a big Tolkien fan but decided not to watch the show, at least for now, for obvious reasons. Your version of the story was really intriguing for me though, great job!

@irinaivanova7416 Жыл бұрын

You did an amazing job!

@waynedegrange6002 Жыл бұрын

I like your fixes.

@waynedegrange6002 Жыл бұрын

Like the suggestion of telling the story from perspective of elf principle characters so that fans could live through the ages like the elves.

@davidbenjamingraf9335 Жыл бұрын

Very nice I would love to watch your Version!

@alexbramwell1870 Жыл бұрын

This ideation regarding the re-write of the plot is far better!

@sash9249 Жыл бұрын

I like your rewrite (always easier to rewrite than write from scratch though, hindsight is always 20/20). I wouldnt send Galadriel to Numenor based on a hunch, I would have her have nightmarish visions that foretell the coming of a darkness that she can't shake, and while her elven comrades aren't convinced, she can't get the visions out of her head. That way, she feels she doesn't have a choice, and it's more personal for her.

@hant679 Жыл бұрын

This was wonderful! And reminds me of what could have been, had the writers actually cared 😭

@ruperterskin2117 Жыл бұрын

Cool. Thanks for sharing.

@venepskeuten9206 Жыл бұрын

I don't know what's going on with modern film culture nowadays, but they seem to have a strong knack for mostly hiring mediocre writers. I don't want to discredit the writers and directors. I don't know them and thus making assumptions about their competency and whatever struggles come with film making feels a bit immature, but I am going to do so anyway. They really need some better talent on the project.