Americans have this "don't look in the eyes" thing. As an Italian citizen, Nalf should know that "NOT looking in the eyes" is considered a characteristic of insincere people in Italy.

As a german and from what ive heard, i think the german stare is just a culture thing where germans subconsciously look a bit longer than people from other backgrounds. Since eye contact etc. Is so important to us humans, outsiders immidiatly notice this. However its wrong to assume germans only stare at outsiders, not each other

You got a stare at 5:40 for leaning to a tree and talking to a camera 😂

I can tell you that there were three things I did upon reaching my duty station of Darmstadt, Germany in 1962: I tried to emulate the German dress as much as possible - no more white socks., no baseball caps. 2. I signed up for German language courses immediately. 3. I made attempts to meet Germans. Fortunately, there were at least two colleges and universities in Darmstadt, and I met students there. It worked out fairly well, as I met my German wife to be and had 49 happy years together.

Since American youtubers have talked so much about THE STARE, I've been watching myself doing that and in retrospective asking myself, why I "stared" at that person. And for me, I can say, I don't stare, but I look. The person I'm looking at, is for any reason interesting. Looks pretty, has a wierd tatoo, looks unhappy and I wonder why, is running and I wonder where, wearing fancy clothing, looks familiar, has their hair done in a way that I'd like to copy, has dry hair and I have an imaginary conversation where I walk up and tell the person what they could do, so the hair isn't dry anymore, talking things I don't want to know on the phone, is elderly and might need help, was littering (then it's a hateful stare, not a friendly look)... So, I hope you get the gist :-)

I am German but have lived in the USA for several years. Californians even wear pajamas to go shopping 😂👍 The bigger the city, the less people stare. In Munich or Berlin hardly anyone stares, there is just too much going on. If you are in a smaller city though you are more noticeable, whether in Germany or the US.

In the US People don't "Stare" because it can be dangerous if You do. Germans themselves don't consider it staring, just looking at anything of interest.

Many Germans were brought up by their parents in such away that when you talk to other people , you look them in the eye and that has nothing to do with staring, but out of friendliness and politeness towards your fellow human beings. And yes, we Germans like to eat and drink comfortably outside together with others and like to take our time.🙂💚

The leaning part brings back some memories from my childhood - I grew up in a northern European country and every time someone was leaning against a wall there was at least one person asking if the wall is about to fall over and you're supporting it. Safe to say I never lean. :D

Mir wahr das Starren der Deutschen nie bewusst gewesen, bis Ausländer dieses Thema rauf und runter diskutierten. Es ist wahr. Ich werde auch ständig angestarrt und auch ich starre Menschen an. Letztens hat mein Kind(4) einen asiatisch aussehenden Mann angestarrt. Ich fand es super. Er soll sehen, wie unterschiedlich Menschen aussehen. Je mehr er davon sieht, desto natürlich wird sein Umgang damit. Mir ist in dem Moment nicht in den Sinn gekommen, dass es ihm vielleicht unangenehm sein könnte. Einem deutschen wäre es bei einem Kind in der Regel nicht unangenehm. Mir ist auch aufgefallen, dass die meisten Menschen zufrieden sind und weg schauen, wenn sie gegrüßt werden. Es muss keine lautes Hallo oder guten Tag sein Es reicht, wenn man nickt. Amerikaner führen gerne Smalltalk um den anderen einschätzen zu können. Wir starren und warten auf eine Kleine Reaktion. Ganz subtil. Ein Nicken oder lächeln reichen vollkommen aus und man wird nicht mehr angestarrt.

Well, i guess vlogging in public draws you more stares than leaning, coffee to go and clothes combined... :)

Americans: literally shouting as loud as possible, so that the whole street/restaurant/plaza hears every bit of the conversation. Germans: look at you for a second too long, and Americans feel uncomfortable. I’m not sure but the first one seems like a much more offensive thing to do to me.

Last tip: avoid sitting on wet surfaces. The shot where you slowly lean over that wet chair to sit down, triggered some deep childhood ptsd in my german brain. As a german, I would stare so hard if i'd see someone do that in public. And then you did it again... Great video tho 👍

The peach/coconut comparison is very sweet and such a compliment to us germans. In the end, both are delicious fruits....

And I would have placed a bet on your shirtless hiking in the mountains as the 'most-stared' event in Germany

When i was 16 i went to canada and a year high school. And peach thing really hit me. People confused me so much and i was hurt at times. Especially when girls spread rumors about me. That never happend in my hometown. I was amazed oberving and found some really good friends and could take it but it stuck with me.. i am swiss and german. In switerland its even more coconutty than in germany..

aaaaand another video from an american linebacker teaching me more about my country and myself than any german teacher could ever do... thank YOU!

Loved this. Third year here in Germany after 63 years in Portland Oregon. Spot on with observations.

YOOOOOO, I just watched Unicorn town last night, and you blew far past my expectations, could have been a film on netflix!

Never even considered leaning against something while waiting 🤔 I’m gonna branch out my waiting position after what I learned now! 😉

I feel like eating and drinking outside is much more casual than always being stressed and having to eat and drink while walking. I also think being able to look people in the eye without feeling uncomfortable, like humans are supposed to, is way more casual than being socially awkward with everything.

Apparently i’m not german…although I was born in Munich and lived there my whole life. Sport Shorts, white socks, food and coffe to go, leaning against stuff, I do this on a daily basis, same as my friends

The staring part never bothered me because I do it too! It doesn't have to have any negative meaning behind it. People are just curious. Anyways, if you look back at a staring German they usually look away. They don't just keep staring at you.

The clothes thing definitely made me laugh. I went to the supermarket on Friday and there was a guy in jogging pants and I definitely stared and wondered if he doesn’t own jeans. Like Karl Lagerfeld once said „Wer eine Jogginghose trägt, hat die Kontrolle über sein Leben verloren.“

NALF this is your best ever take on German/American life! Married to a German and lived there many years you got it right with the fruit comparison. Peaches rot real fast while coconuts can last forever--same as relationships with many Americans vice Germans.

I watched Unicorn Town yesterday. Loved every second of it. I even recomendet to a Friend who is in flying back from USA right now. Please give us part 2!

Regarding the "to be seated" culture: I live in Hamburg and I think it is quite common here. So from my point of view it does depend on the size of the city and also the occupancy rate of a restaurant. It can be quite the case that you take your own seat in the same restaurant at lunch time but are expected to wait to be seated in the evening hours, if there's a lot more going on and many tables might be reserved.

Good points. However, you missed a big one: LANGUAGE! As a German who has been living in the U.S. for decades, let me tell you, in order to fit in a foreign culture, you have to learn to speak their language, and speak it well. So Nalf, how's your German? 🙂

I think getting seated is more common at upscale restaurants in Germany. At more ordinary places like street cafés, you can ask a waiter to seat you, which they will do happily, but it's not required.

I think there was NO school in Germany in the 80s / 90s where you didn't hear from your teachers "don't lean against the wall with your feet against it, it had to be re-painted just yesterday/ just last week/ just last month/ just last year!!" 🤣🤣

About the stare. I'm german myself and my several bosses I had in work always told me that it's important for them that you hold eye contact. It shows confidence and makes you look more competent. So I learned it. Not too much tho or else it gets creepy. Many germans do it aswell because that's their way of expressing that they really try to listen to you if you have a conversation with them.

What a wonderful way to start a Monday morning! What a pleasant surprise 😊 another interesting and funny video! Especially the “German stare” in the background while you were explaining the leaning-point 😄 all very interesting! I personally was a little surprised you didn’t get more stares when you sat down on the wet chair/stairs, although the stares might have followed those actions afterwards due to your consequently wet trousers. Anyway… thanks for the lovely morning-surprise 😊 have a nice day!

Your second point! Thank you so much! My time in Germany this was the ONLY thing that I was not able to figure out - and now I will go back with this knowledge and feel no anxiety! Thank you again

love this video. As a german I fully agree with all of this :D

And this what i like about culture exchanges. It is about get to know how things are done differently - and everything works too. For me it is to reflect my behaviour and have the chance to change it into other, that i prefer. Without videos like this or traveling somewhere i'd never be able to reflect that. Not everything in my home culture is THE ONLY PERFECT WAY.

Yes!!! The restaurant and café thing. Happened to me many times. I still feel weird just grabbing a seat...I find I try to make eye contact with an employee at the café before sitting.

"You can not eat a coconut casually!" 😂 My new credo!

The first step to blend in is- that you want to be a part of the culture. It´s so cool how you realised and solved that one for you!

Each of your videos makes me want to visit Schwäbisch Hall. You are such a good ambassador of this town.

I love your videos with Radical you both compliment each other so well.

as a german for 38 years, i found the part about "leaning" interesting and 100% true :) i never heard of the stare, cause it's more of a look then a stare ;) if you want to have more "casual germans" you should check out the "rhineland" and the cologne are

Great observations. Thanks for sharing that.

Some interesting and possibly helpful observations. I will be sure to pass them on to my family in hopes that we might fit in a little better the next time we are in Germany. Of course, nothing can help the minute we open our mouth and start talking. Our good old Texas drawl will always make us stick out no matter what... however, from others' curiosity, on a few occasions our accent has actually led to some interesting conversations. 😂

😂👍 I think you really got it on point! Honestly I have never thought about to lean at something while waiting because that is rude for me. And right, even getting the "Brötchen" on Sunday at the bakery I would dress up and not leaving home in a casual outfit... 😂 Honestly I will miss your videos in the future! And never forget, the way you are makes you so special and such a nice and funny guy. Wish you all the best for your future and you will be always very welcome to Germany!!!

Nick, i do enjoy your angles on things that are by themselves inocuous but you connect them in an interesting way. i find myself doing the same thing as a german in the US, exept i am too lazy for youtube videos. it is not the information that is interesting, it is the insight that counts. Oh, and i eat my pretzels without butter. maybe i am a rebel?

That was spot on! My wife and I even stick out with our inherent coconut-behaviour in places like NZ or AUS, rural or urban.. We're currently in this area, so we can replicate these reactions anytime. 😄👍

About the coffee: I don't think a coffee-to-go is so special anymore nowadays. I mean it is quite common that people on their way to office or craftsmen on their way to the building site pick up a "coffee-to-go". The leaning: I think this is part of our upbringing. My mother would shout at me if I would be leaning with my fresh clothes against a wall or tree, just because it could dirty my fresh clothes (especially resin from trees is not good). Also we had mandatory military service till 2010 in Germany. If you would lean against something and your sarge would see that you would get blasted to the orbit. Same goes for "hands in your pockets". You would be asked several questions where you could never give the right answer like: "Is your birthday today or why are you holding your candle?" Or: "Are you afraid of squirrels or why are you holding your nuts?" You could also be told that playing "pocket-billiard" is not allowed during service-hours. 🤣

1. Very good and entertaining video again. 2. The close thing. Nowadays so many teenagers wear just chillpants and other wide close. I like and wear it too, especially if I go out for a quick buying. 3. I also lean on things. That's a cosier way to wait.

As a German - American , from NYC well that stare thing is then a NY thing too. But hey peaches to coconuts I’ say I’m a Bounty Bar … BAHAHAAHAHAHA

the ashtray close up!!! ha ha ha!!! hilarious

Nice 🙂 thanks for this view from both worlds!

Thanks, das sind sehr erhellende Informationen. Da habe ich bisher gar nicht drauf geachtet, aber ja es stimmt.

With the coffe to go it depends. It may not be a thing in a smaller town like Schwäbisch Hall, but here in Frankfurt it's definetly a thing.

LOVE your videos!

Love this video. Very informative. I'm missing Germany now.....

Wøww man, the little town you’re living is just amazing 🤩🇩🇪❣️

Love the video!! The 'American' hat is a give-away for Europeans. I have been taught not to lean against the wall growing up; either the wall is dirty or by leaning on the wall you make the wall dirty - out of respect of people their property.

Case in point, that dude was lookin at ya funny as he walked by you when you were leaning on that tree!

Beautiful metaphor to explain your view. Both - the peach and the coconut - may be desirable to people. Some prefer peaches, some coconuts, some enjoy both and sone don‘t care for either of them. That‘s life 😅

Hey Nick, Nic, I think i was one of the "first" "out of the under 10000" Subsribers! However! You are the Best reason for other Mericans to Think across the Borders of the "free" USA! How Great would be the US with the European "Lifestile" "System" what ever! That you have been in love for!

lovely video. (as always) I heard about the peach- coconut example already. 🥥🍑😏 funny, but painfully true as well sometimes. that brings me to a probably strange question: *what does a coconut have to do, to crack a peaches core?* I mean I am most surtanly a coconut. but I have a few peaches as friends. But often there is this feeling, that there is a boder I can't come accross. Through "this border" it nearly seems inpossible, to deepen the friendship.

Well, a coconut isn't exactly soft on the inside either in my opinion. Kind of tough and chewy. But sure. I think that works too.

I so appreciate your rocking the "blockbuster" trucker hat!!! Way to fit in!!

Thank you for the video…..you are so right😀. Me as a German I love both….peaches and coconuts👍🥰😀

One could say that starting a country from pretty much scratch tends to result in a culture like the American. Traditions, rules and etiquettes of formality and older cultures are not there and only the basic human desire for comfort and casualty come out instead. Add loudness and self-centered views on top and you got American culture ;)

That is probably one of the most inside full clip on this topic I've ever seen

I'm glad you didn't point out the hollowness of a coconut 😉

5:40 Sometimes I stand when waiting for the bus even if there is a place to sit :D

Leaning against stuff is a small revolutionary act of defiance in this ever fasting world. It makes that little moment deliberate and allows one to take a breath and take in ones surrounding. A creed i adhere to at least once a day. The best lean being with one leg firmly resting on top of an object that invites the deliberate leaner to just take that one more minute. Leaners of the world assemble..here's to those moments of procrastination. Preferably in the sun^^

there are places where you wait for the service to seat you at a table and at some you don't. I have problems with it as well and I'm german.

1, 2: Definitely true. 3: More about old(er)/smaller town people, I think. If you are in bigger cities where people travel around with the subway, etc. I see a lot of people drinking standing, "on the go". While older people who don't have to rush or don't like walking around a lot are seen at cafés a lot. 4: I never thought about that, but I think it is true. I wouldn't really do it at many places, becaue train/bus/subway stations tend to be really dirty. 5: True to some degree, but definitely depends on the people. I think there are more layers than just a shell and an inside.

Love the country background music ❤

I am actually watching your videos to learn about US culture, because I will go there with my family in April and we want to blend in :)

For examaple: I stare at americans when they're super loud and unpleasant at the Ubahn or Tram, in the hope that they just "get it". But mostly they don't get it. It's a german way to communicate, I think. I live in Berlin and have to stare a lot. lol. sorry not sorry. Edit: I'm a Kindergarten-Teacher and can't get out of this..

#1 giveaway which I'm surprised you didn't mention is being loud. Americans are 2nd to only the Spanish when it comes to being loud for no reason at all when just talking

Thank you again for that entlightning video. XD

walking around with a selfie stick talking into a camera also helps to get a lot of stares

You know what, you are like an apple, the perfect mix - more biting and chewing required than for a peach, but not has labour intensive as trying to get into a coconut, and yummy fruit all the way through, you can even eat the pips if you want.

As a german I can say, this sounds quite accurate!

Always depends where in germany you are. In cologne it is hard to fall out and you can walk as you want. Freiburg, Münster and several other cityies have more in comon with a village then with a city so of course you stand out. Also the northern german is more restricted but when you broke the ice, he is a reliable friend. In cologne ore more southern it is much easyer to get in contakt,but not as profound.

Well, the infamous "German Stare"😳! I have the impression that eye contact is very important in German communication culture. I'm actually autistic and I'm very uncomfortable looking into other people's eyes, so I avoid eye contact. From an early age I've been told that eye contact is extremely important and that I should pull myself together to look the person I'm talking to straight in the eyes 👁️👁️, as is proper. 🙄 That's why I don't really fit into German society because of my disability. My advantage: Because I avoid eye contact, I usually don't even notice when someone is staring at me. 😉 (Edit: Misspellings corrected.)

it's always interesting to hear such observations about the "german" behaviour, as a german. 😄..there's always some truth in it. great drone shots from schwäbisch hall btw.

Great advice...

I really noticed that thing about eating and drinking while walking a lot in Italy. While being German I don't particularly like eating on the go, I still do it, when I'm in a hurry. But living in Italy for some months I noticed, that this is something you would never see Italians doing. Even with something like an ice cream cone, which I would kinda always eat while walking around, Italians would maybe stand somewhere on the side of the street to eat it, but never walk. I'm sure it has something to do with food culture.

About the "casual" vs "formal" clothes, that is maybe only with streetwear. In offices it is quite the opposite. Where USAmericans in international business go sharply dressed in suits and ties, the German dress at work in my just 3 years experience living and working in Germany very very casually. At my job interview (where I was over an hour late, yes in Germany, but outside of my fault; the trains were not running so smoothly and I came from 250 km away) I of course wore a suit (I don't do nooses around my neck) and the guy interviewing me, 15 years my senior, literally was dressed in a faded, worn, Metallica T-shirt. This was not in banking or so, where people dress sharper, but the high level of casual clothing was something that really stood out to me in (West)Germany.

I really like your metaphore! 😄 Otherwise I would wish that people in general would't look out so much for differences. We are humans all around the world and we all have fundamental things in common. We all need to be loved, respected and welcomened. We all need a friendly word. And I think the world reflects back at you what you are sending out

Interesting analysis, the key is you live in a small city and you socialise mainly with fellow Americans. So it makes it more obvious. But your peaches and coconut comparison is great. However with or without baseball caps, I would pick you as an American from 100m away

I had seen the first version of this video. 🤗

There are some regions in Germany, where people are rather peaches than coconuts. Rheinland, Ruhrgebiet and Hamburg I'd say. But with a much softer "stone".

Yep, that is 100% true. Well put.

i noticed the coconut metaphor implies we are hollow in the inside and tbh many are.

I met my American fiance in another country and he said: "I bet you wear a lot of sweaters" "No, definitely not". He tried to dress more European and ended up looking like a wall street banker from 1980 lost in a big black coat from the Soviet Era. So some of the first plans we have when I come to the US is to update his wardrobe at least to the year 2000. Sometimes I want to dress less formal but my brains barrier is so huge it posts a stop sign and starts an existential debate "Why would you do that? What is the meaning of this and what are the social implications of choosing this road? Sweatpants are a serious choice-are you ready to life with consequences this has for your life?" The eye contact thing means: I acknowledge you. I see you. If somebody doesn't look back it kinda means" what you say is too irrelevant for me to pay attention to" Germans are very sensitive about that. Not looking at someone can leave a feeling like "neither your existence, nor your words have any meaning-basically it is nothing to me and you are in this moment nothing for me." Especially if you asked a question and then look away that can be way to confusing for a German. Also looking in somebodied eyes means" I am open and I wait for your feedback". I don't know if it is common but also my partner told me that there is a lot of small talk in the US and it is not always necessary to respond. That is super frustrating for me and my answer as a German is always "why would I start talking about it if it isn't worth a response. I actually think it is the same like eye" staring" - when we share something about ourselves and don't get feedback it leaves a sense of hurt or embrassement to have ever opened our mouth. I think we are generally very philosophical in nature and if we are left with the feeling that what we said hasn't any value for the community it leaves us with the feeling that we failed and we need approval that it is also okay when we failed. Yesterday a woman asked me the way and 5 people gathered to help her because no one really knew. Also a few people asked me why we Germans say "we" and "us" "In Germany we think this way" - it is kinda like we check with everybody what we are doing is alright with the fear if not hell might break loose.

It's so funny my german husband won't go for a quick run to the gas station or backeri. He always changes from his addidas running pants to jeans and sneakers not his birkenstocks. I was lucky that at the very first most Germans I met after coming here to our small town Übach-Palenberg did I ever get the stare, they all opened up to me. I don't know if this is something that would only be possible in small town compared to the city. I find Aachen like most of the other cities of the world. Let it be and you'll be fine.

Tbh the leaning thing is funny af, since where i come from (northern germany) we do it everywhere we could. xD

Good video!!!

The "Stare" is basically just initializing/maintaining nonverbal communiation. And leaning? Well, I guess we have to ask James Dean for that^^

Nalf, 11 inches of snow in Portland today. What brother is home doing the shoveling?

Even if i take a coffee to go i find myselfe sitting somewhere else and stare;). Staring is just for analysing. Just keep your thoughts flow while you observe. As for the leaning on things: "classic" sentence from adults to the young folk ( or at the military, wich was duty some years ago) : "The wall stands by itselfe". (like you dont have to assist it)

... to be seen through in typical German behaviors is not a shame, because behind it there are trained codes - formed by the events of one's own history. If you want to live with perspective in the future, you have to change today. A lesson for you and for others as well. Your thoughts on this are exemplary; many thanks for that.

"Waiting to be seated": In New Zealand we had this experience for the first time from the perspective of "non-Germans", although we (my boyfriend and I) are German. We waited in the lobby of a restaurant to get our seats. Meanwhile, a group of German tourists walked past us and just sat down, even though there was a sign saying "please wait to be seated". My friend and I looked at each other but said nothing to them. Then we heard them talking about us. "Look, the locals wait until they get a seat. We just took a seat!" And we thought, should we go and talk to them so that we understood every word? And that everything they did was super embarrassing? But then the waiter came and the moment was over. But that was a fun reminder, really.