As someone with a limited budget and endless dreams trying to be an indie author and cartoon creator, I love that you know what you want and have a real dream. Sounds like you know exactly what it is you need for yourself. The place you’re in doesn’t sound good for you in the slightest. There is comfort in security, but then again, you never want to be stuck in loop. Working just enough to survive but not enough to achieve the life you want to me is no life worth living. I don’t even think it’s necessary to say what it is you should do because I think you know what it is that you’d most want to do; and that is pursuing your dream place and taking the dive. It’s really inspiring seeing you put your inner most struggles out there and articulate them for people online. Rooting for you!

sweetie follow your heart as you said you are young don't wait till your dreams fade away and you regret not doing what you want

What if you were to do it in small increments. Move somewhere close by, but far enough that you feel gone. Then you'd see what it's like and know whether or not it's what you want, but with a security blanket? Champaign is a good candidate. Plus you could go to school.

If you dont find your "calm place" to be safe and happy in, you will keep running your entire life. I kept running until I was way too old. Dont waste time running away from early life trauma. *hug* good luck finding your calm place.

You have to find something to run towards. You are clearly running away from something. I don't know what that something is. But you need to focus on "staying where you feel good".