I'm basically the guy version of u. I found ur videos so relatable! I quit my 6 figure job in Nov 2022, took a "sabbatical", and I still haven't figured anything out. Ultimately, I think I might return to it and discuss the prior workload with my manager. I'm hoping it works out better as I haven't had much luck with other interviews. But yeah, the depression is intense man. I totally feel u when u said "I don't have it in me". I'm just tired every day too, and all I want to do is doomscroll all day. It's pathetic. I recently watched a lecture about depression, and I think we're experiencing "psychomotor retardation" which is the slowing down of our mental/physical activities. I recently lost 50 lbs or so from inactivity (all my muscle gains r gone... sigh), so I'm trying a little bit more each day. Hopefully I can get that job back so I can have a bit of normalcy again. Also, I truly think we should join a class or Meetup or something. The loneliness for me is extremely painful and is something I struggled with a lot in my adult life. I've been crying a lot too which is probably contributing to my daily headaches. It's like I've been conditioned to be in this constant negative state, and I don't want to live like this any more. Not to mention my rampant suicidal thoughts. Anyway, I say try putting more effort in making friends. I think bettering ur social life would give it some meaning. Well, at least that's what I'm trying to do. Best of luck to both of us!

Be gentle with yourself. You are braver than you give yourself credit for. Battling depression and anxiety is extremely difficult, it’s like running a marathon before you even get up for the day. No wonder you are tired and discouraged. None of this is your fault. You wouldn’t blame a cancer patient you being sick, so no one should blame someone with mental illness for being sick. Mental illness is just as serious as physical illness. I went through a traumatic experience and lost my job. Ever since then my depression has made it difficult to find the will power to do anything including work. I blame myself all the time but it’s the depression skewing my perception.

I'm not trying to promote victimization, but it's okay to not feel okay sometimes. It's not always your fault. For example, I don't know the full context of why you quit your corporate job, but I'm willing to bet it was because of burnout. We are not meant to overburden ourselves with work.

Your situation isn't all your fault. It's only your fault if you don't take action to fix it. You've had a well-paying job and nice lifestyle in the past, and you seem like a hard worker who takes accountability, so you're still in a better position than most. I believe in you.

You are not alone, hang in there Christina!

I think a lot of us are feeling what you're feeling. The goal posts to get a stable life keep getting moved further and further, making it seem impossible to ever get a home or even some basic stability. It starts to get to a point when you wonder why you're bothering because no amount of efforts is getting you to where you want to be. I'm not sure what the answer is now, either. You seem like a smart, resourceful person, so I'm sure you'll figure out your path

It takes courage to make a video like this. Props to you Christina. I am wishing you a prosperous future

The depression makes me feel sad about everything too... Its so tough to explain it to others... The depression is a form of a mental limitation that prevents you to see the hope in things...

Also, it’s not your fault. Corporate is burning us all out whether some people want to actually admit that or not. A lot of places are short staffed and the hard workers who should be getting taken care of and protected, are instead getting thrown more work. Especially those who are predisposed to anxiety and depression if not given adequate down time between projects. I can tell you’ve definitely made a difference and positive impact at your other jobs. They probably didn’t even deserve you.

Life can be so hard but you got this!!

Make small positive steps, give yourself credit for every small step, try to understand this won’t last forever if you do that. Think maybe it wasn’t corporate or you but your particular boss. I work in corporate and things go in cycles of 2 years or 3 years so things change if you’re not happy right now, just focus on getting stronger and not resigning yourself that this will never end.

Breath and relax. Your decision will determine your success. Don't give up. Hold your head high, you have a bright future

Prayers for you my friend 🙏🏾 We all search for our purpose. When you find something you love doing and can make good money from it you’ll be able to face things and realize it was never anything to be worried about.

im here with you i feel the same way been 3 years where im kinda just floating around trying to survive I think a lot of humans feel this way ever since the world has changed a lot.

Hope you're well since you've made this. I laughed when you said 'this old apartment 1980s' I am a late forties dude (took no offense). I am guessing you are late 20s early thirties. In my opinion it's better to burnout now than when you're older and have never burned out. I really believe COVID and being confined and all the changes is just beginning to catch up to all of us and has forced us to re-think things. It's important to push yourself but also give yourself grace (and compassion). The negative self-talk, watch out for it. When you tell yourself something negative, just think 'would I speak to my friend like this' and more often than not, you wouldn't. There is someone out there that is going thru the same thing you are. Hope you don't feel alone in that. Have a great week. Dust off that peloton and get going.

I know this might seem a bit reach to other people but if nothing helps out, don't be afraid to walk into a church and pray and make friends. Just remember it's not about religious but a relationship. We get lost in this dark world and we just need a big hug.

It's okay to have a tough day it's okay to not have the energy. Your place needs some nice plants.... But remember this when you get knocked down get back up every tim!!! I feel your pain and it will get better for you!!! Drink St John's Wort tea daily too if you can!it will help you!!! Big love 💗 come on get back up !!!!

I am sorry to see you crying. Things will get better, you are a smart girl. When you least expect it things will turn around. I love your cats!

You took the words right out of my mind. You aren’t alone in this. I promise, I understand you. Keep fighting.

if it makes you feel any better, i just want to say i am also going through same depression and anxiety issues. And soon will be quitting my new job just after one month. There are days when i so want to give up, but then i search these videos to give myself hope that i am not alone...

Been here since my 20s, I dont wish it on anyone. As you said, its a roof over your head, im stuck in a house with family judging and breaking me down for my mental health, im working towards exiting this toxic place, just to create a income to do so. Always easy to suggest than do but finding solitude and sanctuary in your loft will help, add a plant or too, a gym space to do yoga etc and I think it will do wonders but I understand where you coming from so don't mean to judge here. Please try nurture yourself, im not a trained professional but sounds like a fall from Grace having a education and skills and created the life only to find yourself here, iv been there and I regret being so hard on myself, obviously you know these emotions are symptoms, its a grind. I hope you find what you deserve, better options to help you out and find relief. Yea only we can rescue ourselves but a supportive community can go a long way. Thanks for sharing your experiences, many suffer in silence feeling unheard and misunderstood.

I'm sorry things are so tough right now. I just want to let you know that I think you're doing really well fighting this depression everyday. Don't be so hard on yourself. Take care Christina. Praying for you always 🙏

I live in Hong Kong and your place is huge for one person. But too bad it smells....hope it gets better! I have a cat too and she keeps me company during my dark days

Get some glade plugins or some candles to mask the smell 😊 My sister usually has small apartments, and im always amazed by how much she is able to transform a small space into a home. Add some small personal touches here and make the most of it. I think so many of us are burned tf out. Hang in there! Something that helped me not catastrophize (but i still do it a lot) was reading the Power of Now and trying to turn off my brain and be present. Its so damn hard but every now and then it works and having moments of no thoughts is such a relief.

Hey Christina. It sounds like a seperation of the conscious ego and unconscious shadow. (Or one can think of it as the Mind and the Heart) The Mind tells us to get a high paying job, get some material success, and be winners by societal standards. But the Heart has withdrawn it's support of these goals, it will not go along with the Mind's plans, and fills one with depression. Please take some time and find out what your heart really wants. Then the Mind and Heart can be on the same page, have the same goals, and I bet you'll feel a lot better when that happens.

you might want to look into getting your cdl through the school bus, 🚌until automation creeps in a massive demand for it exists, being on the road all the time makes the day go faster & keeps the workplace drama to a minimum, you get to take the bus home after morning runs, and you get time off for the summer & holidays to figure out other things to get into, also with that license you could use that to get into coach or city bus or other forms of transportation, which will help you get back on your feet.

Think of the positives. Roof over head. Your cats are welcome. You have stairs which are cool. There's enough space. You're not jobless even though pay isn't ideal. Also you now have a new reality through which to figure out things. It might be easier this time if you let it. Sometimes having less allows you to see what you really need and what you don't. For the smell, maybe steam cleaning might get the smell out. I would start there.

take it one day at a time, you got this! you are strong!!! Seek help though if you need it please.

I too, am still suffering. Sorry for you... glad you're still able to function, to get apt, and live.. and have pets. Im unable to do anything at all. My life was so destroyed,.. i don't have any will to live. I just sit, or lay down everyday. Ruminating and catastrophizing . Not eating, or taking care of myself,.. i just don't care. The depression is severe. My life is over.. just waiting to expire asap.

💙

As long as the smell is not mold then you are good.

Bug hug to you. Have you ever explored 12 step meetings at all? Can be a relief a bit and help you feel less isolated. There’s an underearners anonymous too

I’m a single mom of 2 kids and my boyfriend is in jail for 12 months total. I’m co parenting with my narcissistic ex husband. I’m 40 and I’m tired of hustling as well. I’m an esthetician. I’m currently a waxer. We make pretty good money. You should look into waxing at a chain. You can make more then at great clips. A lot more. What is the smell from though?

BetterHelp

Guess what… im now in vacation but I plan to quit my job also when I return 😂… damn.. same pattern of action … I also have a corporate job and they killing me … i sleep 3-4 hours at night… I can’t take it anymore

Whats your personality traits INFJ. Personality has alot to do with depression. Your inner feelings.

Your going and coming is nowhere but where you are, friend "Progress" is a concept instilled into us since birth but it's just that; a concept Really isn't a concept Life is slendidly purposeless When the bird sings twiddly dwidly doo is that purposefully? Why do peacocks appear so splendid? Why do we laugh? What is the purpose of a song? You have everything you will ever need, look inside For the smell: it's just different and you're interpreting it the way you are Maybe the last person misses it 🤷‍♂️ Your heart will break again and again untill it opens I care about you and it opens my own heart to listen to you, I'm here for you and if you stopped posting because "something happened" I would be greatly saddened Much love, friend

No idea why you would quit a job like that wow

I’m a single mom of 2 kids and my boyfriend is in jail for 12 months total. I’m co parenting with my narcissistic ex husband. I’m 40 and I’m tired of hustling as well. I’m an esthetician. I’m currently a waxer. We make pretty good money. You should look into waxing at a chain. You can make more then at great clips. A lot more

You pretty pretty

Hey Corporate girl.

Awfully judgmental of things from the 80s you’re gonna have to learn that if you want fancy things in life you gotta work for them

1:30 “idk…..idk…I don’t know….a lot….of anything.” Literally just turned 34 and this is my entire existence summarized in a single sentence. Subscribing and getting that tattooed ASAP 🥲