I Spent 5 Years Mastering This Technique - The Art Of The 1:1 Meeting
Рет қаралды 134,416
Күн бұрын1:1s are a critical part of growing as an engineer.
📱 Accelerate your career growth: joinTaro.com
➤ Pass your coding interviews: neetcode.io/pro? (use code TARO for a discount)
➤ Unlock exclusive products and discounts: www.jointaro.com/perks/
➤ Connect with Alex: / alexander-chiou
Hi! I’m Rahul, a software engineer and founder with a passion for teaching.
📹 KZfaq: / rahulpandeyrkp
📝 LinkedIn: / rpandey1234
🐦 Twitter: / rpandey1234
📸 Instagram: / rpandey1234
📂 Github: github.com/rpandey1234/
🎥 My KZfaq Camera Gear - kit.co/rpandey1234/my-youtube...
References:
➤ Mark Rabkin’s article “The Art of the Awkward 1:1”: / the-art-of-the-awkward...
➤ Creativity while walking: pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articl...
➤ Credit for the enhanced lighting goes to my friend Andrew: / @kylapom
Timestamps:
0:00 - Intro
1:29 - Pursue awkward 1:1s
3:53 - Go beyond status updates
5:56 - Write down takeaways
#TechCareerGrowth
@SatyamKumar-ts2jh Жыл бұрын
After working as a Software engineer in one of the FAANG companies as a fresher, one thing I wish I knew earlier was: "You are not as dumb as you think, and people around you are not as smart as you think". After working on a few minor projects, I got to know that senior engineers are senior not exactly because they are wayy more intelligent, its because they have the historical context with them, they have seen things being built from scratch which you are told to work on now and they have a very clear way of explaining things. The way they talk and break their problems down, i feel its very underrated in the software field. That is why when you feel that asking a question will make you feel dumb, dont hesitate. Ask questions. The only thing is to research before asking questions. That will engage the seniors as well.
@lawliet2263 8 ай бұрын
lol almost all senior devs's iq fall in the range of 110 to 130 which is higher than the junior devs.
@jamesngige8560 2 жыл бұрын
This dude is a genius, struggled to learn various concepts in android until i bumped into his KZfaq Channel. Apart from his amazing demos, he explains everything very CLEARLY. Please continue the good work Rahul, i'm expecting more and more videos and lessons from you man. Thanks for your amazing work and dedication.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
Ahh thanks James!!
@teamshiftan Жыл бұрын
99
@syncswim Жыл бұрын
In my experience one of the biggest challenges with doing awkward 1:1s is the fear that exposing vulnerabilities or misgivings might expose you to increased scrutiny over said things instead of kicking off an earnest conversation about them. Compound that with the fact that a lot of people in tech are from non-white communities where there's sometimes far less cultural receptiveness towards admitting weakness or criticizing superiors -- the perpetual anxiety over getting the "oh you're swamped? Why don't you just quit then" response
@wadecodez Жыл бұрын
Yes 1:1s can blow up in your face if your not careful. Like any other meeting you should agree on a reason for meeting otherwise one or both of you will be lost.
@jerrykurtin Жыл бұрын
your explanations are concise, relatable, and so easy to follow! thank you for the help you’re giving an early-career software engineer!
@buckeyemike8626 2 жыл бұрын
Love this video! As a mid level engineer in the Bay Area, I see how the small things make a big difference. Having a good 1:1 where everyone comes away happy but you come away with some important steps for the next few months is huge. I will definitely start keeping notes on our meetings and focus on being more vulnerable when the situation calls for it. I agree with everything said here and will work that into my weekly routine
@tech_leaders 9 ай бұрын
Pershing awkward 1:1s is a great point. Very unique perspective. I’ve read/watch numerous pieces on improving 1:1s and never encountered this point before. Great video
@andreriley739 Жыл бұрын
100% agree with your points. When I meet 1x1 with people for the first time, if we aren't saying something that makes us feel vulnerable it's a waste of time. I like to tell them to think about it like Vegas (what happens there?) so that people know I'm serious and want to handle sensitive topics. It builds instant report and genuinely meaningful relationships to discuss real life with.
@darthvader_ Жыл бұрын
This has been on my mind for so long. Thank you so very much! Also, your videos are soo helpful
@pratishbala6283 2 жыл бұрын
Rahul, these are exactly the kind of videos I was looking for and I am glad you have come up with them. Please keep these amazing videos coming!
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
thanks Pratish!
@jonmichaelossola9765 7 ай бұрын
I love this! My 1:1s have been so hard for me, I’ve hated the feeling of being uncomfortable in them. This is a big help and so actionable thanks so much!
@ShivaniSingh-sf3mv 2 жыл бұрын
wow, thank you for this video, its was well put. And i will try to include these in my 1 on 1's
@dinukadev Жыл бұрын
Thank you. The point about maintaining a shared Google doc hit home with me. I never really thought about that while doing my 1-on-1's. Much appreciated.
@sujayyaji Жыл бұрын
This could be one of the best videos I’ve seen for my career, thanks, Rahul. I appreciate how you have made it a point to embrace awkwardness
@RahulPandeyrkp Жыл бұрын
Thanks Sujay
@XinWongDigital Жыл бұрын
I'm a manager. I creating safe space, truly listen with my heart to allow people to open up to me. You gonna understand that people are different. They have life admin to deal with. Amazing thing always happen to my team because there is zero fear in my team. We talk, laugh, sometimes argue. The difference between a manager and a leader to me is that human touch.
@tanmaysongade 2 жыл бұрын
Bingo! On Point. Thanks.
@roshanmhatre8810 Жыл бұрын
I am currently an intern and all the points you talked about having meaningful 1X1s are actually already been used by the current company(startup). Now I really understand why they insist to write notes after every 1X1 in slack private channel with the manager, and why my manager focuses on having open conversations which creates awkward 1X1s. Wow.
@kedarkulkarni9464 2 жыл бұрын
This was AMAZING ! Thank you so much for such great ideas
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
thank you 🥰
@kedarkulkarni9464 2 жыл бұрын
@@RahulPandeyrkp I just tried your ideas in my 1:1 meeting with my manager. He loved them !
@sparshk330 2 жыл бұрын
Always an informative video, Thank you.
@subhashisbhowmik7 2 жыл бұрын
So insightful thanks Rahul!
@arts2crafts 2 жыл бұрын
Great video. Ideas are well thought out & articulated
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
🙏🏽
@mengchaoyue9703 10 ай бұрын
I wish I could have seen this video earlier. Great content. Thanks.
@edanparker9273 2 жыл бұрын
Wonderful video, thanks Rahul!
@U-Singh 2 жыл бұрын
Loving your content man 🚀
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
thanks Utkarsh!
@MARIAM-eb9zw 2 жыл бұрын
This channel deserves millions of subscribers
@captainmichaelj2321 2 жыл бұрын
Man, his content is not only useful for independent developers, entrepreneurs, but it is also definitely useful for large company workers. Awesome stuff.
@redhotbits Жыл бұрын
how is this useful for independent developers?
@omkar6107 2 жыл бұрын
Great video. Well articulated. I am reading "how to win friends and influence people". This is a great book to improve conversations of any kind and get the best out of people. I already started looking at 1:1 as an opportunity while reading this book.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
I've heard great things about that book
@ElonMusk-ez5xz 2 жыл бұрын
First! And, can you please make a video on how to grow/get promoted quickly as a new grad at a company like Meta?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
we have some promotion content available in the Tech Career Growth mobile app!
@39-rokhirawlo29 2 жыл бұрын
I like the background , great going
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
thank you! credit to my friend Andrew who came over to help me with this
@pareshwagh3012 2 жыл бұрын
Great information brother
@Jrrs2007 2 жыл бұрын
This is really good advice
@browntechdaddy 2 жыл бұрын
I thought I was the only one who had awkward 1:1s, it's comforting to hear it's normal
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
at least initially, I think it's totally normal
@abhijithragav8929 2 жыл бұрын
Very useful video. Thanks!
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
my pleasure!
@ted2101977854 Жыл бұрын
The best video for 1:1 topic. I like it
@praveenkumaresan416 2 жыл бұрын
Great insights, thanks, appreciate all the info! Minor - NBD - Is slide on 2:27 had a typo for disengaged?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
ugh you're right, thank you for pointing it out! I'm embarrassed now, hard to fix at this point 😭
@malikau917 Жыл бұрын
Wow I was doing it completely wrong! And it went into some bad things which I could recognize much sooner. Thanks again for the amazing piece of knowledge and sharing your experience, this is improving me as a developer!
@RahulPandeyrkp Жыл бұрын
That is my ultimate goal - create better developers 💯💯
@guodah77 Жыл бұрын
Great video! Thanks for sharing! My question is whether the effect of the advice is still as good if your manager is not a good manager.
@RahulPandeyrkp Жыл бұрын
Good question. There is an underlying assumption of trust with your manager -- if you don't have that, I'd feel nervous about over-sharing with them. (so it depends on what you mean by "not good")
@guodah77 Жыл бұрын
@@RahulPandeyrkp Sorry for my vague term "not good manager" :) Let me rephrase: managers that have not understood your three advice themselves. Any signs from which we can tell: oh, I can discuss awkward topics with this manager, etc. Thanks!
@VishiVish01 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
welcome :)
@Mark-uh7cr 5 ай бұрын
Great information, thank you! Question: is there a specific way to modify 1:1's when you have employees scattered or embedded in remote offices? You are not all under one roof...
@Alexis-fw5zj Жыл бұрын
Hello Rahul, This video was extremely informative and I learn so much from your videos. I wanted to ask you if you have any tips as to how to become better at communicating one's ideas to people. It is something I really struggle with a lot. Is it just practice or are there key things to note when articulating ideas? I mean this in the general sense, not just with tech ideas. Once again, great video and information.
@RahulPandeyrkp Жыл бұрын
thanks Alexis, yes we have some content in Taro and plan on publishing more about that!
@bhavyamishra2024 2 жыл бұрын
Hey Rahul, love your content, great insights. Quick question, i heard the best time to switch a team is when the team needs you the most(Or correct me if this assumption is completely wrong.), but on the contrary it sounds opposite. It becomes a catch 22 situation. So whats your take on the best time to switch a team in early phase of carrier?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
If you want leverage for a negotiation, you have that most when the team needs you. But if you're just switching teams, I'd work closely with your manager to understand the timeline and what you're interested in.
@kevvvinnn Жыл бұрын
Senior engineer: *pursues the awkward 1:1* 10x engineer: *pursues the awkward standup*
@mrrishiraj88 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@jrajesh11 2 жыл бұрын
Some managers see only speed of delivery as trust regardless of quality of code and scalability of design! How do you earn trust in such cases ?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a bad manager! Can you switch teams?
@thomasf.9869 2 ай бұрын
@@RahulPandeyrkp Now you are talking! You have to address these issues in your videos, the underbelly of the industry.
@1MinuteFlipDoc 2 жыл бұрын
this assumes the relationship and communication is balanced, rational, and healthy. generally, most managers are not looking to take on additional 'actions' and such an exchange benefits them little. your position, roles, and ranking are typically determined when you are hired into a position. no amount of work will change the managers mind. A rule of thumb in an earlier technology company said that if you wanted to advance, you either had to know 'Bill' or 'Steve'. This is the real world we live in.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
Right, there's an assumption here that the manager actually cares about you + your career growth
@user-fp4dr1ne7z 2 жыл бұрын
I have a difficult time being vulnerable and sharing openly about things because in my previous job, my manager took what I said the wrong way and she felt insecure after I told her what I felt was the truth about what was going on with the team (which I only shared because she wanted my “honest” opinion). I believe she then started to act passive aggressively towards me and even spoke behind my back, which I’ve caught her gossip about other people in the team with another coworker. Deep inside, I believe people don’t want to have awkward conversations and they honestly can’t handle honest feedback. My current manager seems different but I don’t know how much to share, and I only keep it at the work level.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like it's about the incentive structure and how much power your manager has. If their role is truly to support your career, and they're not worried about looking stupid to their boss, they shouldn't have ego around getting honest feedback
@devstuff2576 2 жыл бұрын
Have you considered just doing you job? You know, which you are paid for. Then share with your wife or husband or boyfriend or girfriend or dad or mom or friend?
@user-fp4dr1ne7z 2 жыл бұрын
@@devstuff2576 what’s your point?
@1MinuteFlipDoc 2 жыл бұрын
you are wise to be cautious.
@cyanidesky8170 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you! This is really helpful. Could you please make a video on how to organize/structure your learnings for different projects?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
will add it to the queue. BTW, for informal discussions, would recommend you join one of the live sessions for Tech Career Growth where we take questions.
@jatinnandwani6678 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks Jatin!
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
Our live session is over, but you can find more high quality info about meetings + 1:1s in the Taro app: joinTaro.com Thanks to my friend Andrew for improving my lighting :) kzfaq.info/love/hJsnCUzoh4zVQ2etRKjC6g
@Finn-jp6pn 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the information, Rahul. Junior SDE here. My 1-on-1s have always been about status updates. Career growth was never discussed. And now I haven't had one since Dec of last year. I assumed my manager was just too busy, but I see him having 1-on-1s with other members of the team. Not sure what should be done here. But it's a red flag for sure.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
@@Finn-jp6pn I think that is a red flag. I'd ask you manager when their plans are re: a regular career conversation
@parthg199 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Rahul, great video, are these tips for junior devs as well?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
definitely
@parthg199 2 жыл бұрын
@@RahulPandeyrkp thanks
@meena7222 2 жыл бұрын
Great video, thank you! I have found this video just in time. I have a question: I am joining a job next week and have a 1:1 meeting on my day 1 to orient me to my job role. The meeting with this person has always been hurried during interviews and in our prevous 4-5 interactions they switched on their video only once. How to handle this situation and engage them a bit little longer, they are always busy
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
can you share an agenda with them ahead of time, and include a rough breakdown of how long you anticipate spending on each item?
@meena7222 2 жыл бұрын
@@RahulPandeyrkp thank you for the reply. I am not seeing any possibility right now of sharing an agenda ahead of time. Cannot write much here, but I am taking the other tips in your video, for example the shared Google doc idea. I usually note down on paper nd email the minutes of meeting, shared Google doc is a far better way to do it. Looking at the productivity section on the TCG app too, some really great tips there, you are doing great work! :)
@TheodoreRavindranath Жыл бұрын
Wow 🤯
@shaleenmundra8319 2 жыл бұрын
Great information. I have downloaded the app (iOS) but unable to navigate to the aforementioned session. Is the link created or will be coming up later ?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
The session about effective 1:1s hasn't happened yet! It will be in about 2 weeks, and after that we'll cut it up and put it in the app
@andyram27 Жыл бұрын
The vast majority of managers in tech lack the maturity to have positive awkward conversations. This video has a fairly idealistic tenor.
@ahmedbennacef5529 2 жыл бұрын
Hey Rahul good content. I wanted just to add something. One on ones are not meant to be awkward. The role of the manager is to build the required trust so that the direct feels that they are heard and open up for that "awkward" conversation. If those conversation still feel awkward after lets say 6 months of weekly one on ones, you should reconsider your way of doing things.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
Good point, at some point hopefully you develop a rapport with your manager
@Kumar-rq9ro 22 күн бұрын
Thanks.
@brwler1 2 ай бұрын
I was looking for this videi
@TheRealisticNihilist 2 жыл бұрын
I hate 1:1's. There's nothing that justifies these worthless meetings. I want to sit down, do my work and as long as I get it done, I want my manager to leave me the fuck alone.
@shitijgupta29 Жыл бұрын
Exactly! It is just a colossal waste of time. Managers usually do not care about employees at all
@ridufly4531 2 жыл бұрын
Well I wish I had a manager like you
@1MinuteFlipDoc 2 жыл бұрын
there are few managers that would respond to this technique positively, in the real world.
@davidlu6265 2 жыл бұрын
For new grads with average internship experiences and offers from Google and Meta, where would you personally recommend going?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
I'd recommend Meta (Facebook). The stock is undervalued right now and growth is much faster for new grads
@Csgo-beast Жыл бұрын
Can you link the Google 1:1 docs? Thanks
@cmdv42 2 жыл бұрын
💯
@nomanaslam8850 2 ай бұрын
I have been shying away from 1:1 for some time. Last 1:1 with my manager was done by my manager. I changed my approach and did really good. Now I am gonna ask for more 1:1 with my manager, in previous company doing 1:1 with my lead led to good results. Thank you for this and I think 1:1 should be used, should be uncomfortable.
@research962 Жыл бұрын
Do you think sending a fixed agenda beforehand might be useful?
@RahulPandeyrkp Жыл бұрын
i think that's a great idea. I would frame it less as a "fixed agenda" and more as a few discussion points to guide the conversation
@ANUJKUMAR-wc9dz 2 жыл бұрын
Hey Rahul i am very insecure about my english. How can i improve my grammar, writing skills and vocabulary? any resources or tips will be helpful
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
just practice as much as possible with others
@blisstracker7325 Жыл бұрын
If manager has no time for 1-1 for any one , just team meetings / section meetings?
@RahulPandeyrkp Жыл бұрын
why doesn't your manager have time for a 1:1?
@TheKundan11 2 жыл бұрын
Rahul how to join Tech Career Growth. Is there a group or something? How to get any updates?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
yes we're on Slack -- check the description of the video :)
@ssgojekblue 2 жыл бұрын
The walking 1:1 is really a great idea
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
I love walking and talking/thinking!
@annielin2894 Жыл бұрын
How can I talk to you Rahul Pandey and what is your charge for consultation?
@RahulPandeyrkp Жыл бұрын
hi Annie, that's why I made Taro :) jointaro.com/membership
@starlite5097 2 жыл бұрын
Awesome video! Damn, I have 1:1 every 3 months... I guess that's the practice around here. Also, isn't weekly 1:1 too frequently?
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
weekly is the default for all the companies I've been at! If your manager has a lot of reports, I think biweekly is fine, but IMO every 3 months is way too infrequent.
@Pulkit__7 2 жыл бұрын
Every 3 months, I thought, it was mostly 1:1 meeting with manager of the manager. Atleast in my company
@doublegdog Жыл бұрын
@@Pulkit__7 yeah that sounds right. Usually skip level 1:1s (with bosses boss) are less frequent like every 3 months. My previous job was like that where my manager was checked out mentally since he was close to retirement and we would have one on ones like once every 4 months. I agree though that is way too infrequent.
@sdb584 2 жыл бұрын
These are good in theory, but I've run into too many software devs who would prefer staying in their own space and not open up about anything. On the other side of the 1:1 too many managers simply want to check the box that they had their 1:1's with their reports. I'm shocked on the frequency you had / have these. The most frequent 1:1 schedule I ever had was monthly and that is rarely kept.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
That's surprising to me. At almost every company I'm familiar with (I'm in the Bay Area), 1:1s are weekly, or at least bi-weekly.
@sdb584 2 жыл бұрын
I’m in NYC and have mostly worked in the financial sector. I’m also more senior. These are probably key contributors to the differing experiences.
@1MinuteFlipDoc 2 жыл бұрын
my experience as well, over a long career. it's a box checking exercise for the managers, and they try to limit any substantive interaction.
@citydweller99 Жыл бұрын
I don't like 1:1 meetings...I miss the old days where I didn't talk to my manager
@aryanagrawal8558 21 күн бұрын
can we ask for good salary hike in meetings?
@RahulPandeyrkp 20 күн бұрын
You can (should) discuss compensation, but only after some rapport has been built
@zshn 2 жыл бұрын
Some of the engineers that report to me do not prefer to walk because in a growing culture of open workplaces, a closed room private discussion allows them to express more freely without the burden of saying something awkward in public.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
That's a great point, FB was nice since we'd typically do walking 1:1s outdoors
@redhotbits Жыл бұрын
what is 1:1 ?
@royalchamp Жыл бұрын
Wow i know someone named Sauraph Pandey and he looks like you
@RahulPandeyrkp Жыл бұрын
ooh I know a Saurabh Pandey too 😇
@anubhavsinghal1535 2 жыл бұрын
can we have you as our prime minister!!❤
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
haha that sounds like a stressful job
@anubhavsinghal1535 2 жыл бұрын
@@RahulPandeyrkp 😂we will turn india into a futuristic computer science country 🥺🌟
@jaaguitar Жыл бұрын
Disagree. These tips can only be used when you've a good manager and a good company. Keeping a written record of your gripes for HR to look at is terrible advice, at some companies. A bit too idealistic this time.
@inno6123 2 жыл бұрын
Are you reading something from the screen? Haha
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
kind of :P at what point is it obvious?
@irvinge4641 2 жыл бұрын
@@RahulPandeyrkp ive noticed it in your other vids before too. But it seems like you are not looking at the camera directly but just right above it in most of the time
@Rppiano 2 жыл бұрын
Lol I have 1:1 in 2 hours
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
timely :)
@devstuff2576 2 жыл бұрын
I really hate these stuff. Leave therapy to therapy. All I want from my manager is "do x, you did x, here is your money". Not all of us need our companies to act like our families...we have families (which are functional and supportive). Jeez.
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
It's not about being a family. I view as more quickly getting to the impactful conversation
@citydweller99 Жыл бұрын
@@RahulPandeyrkp I kind of agree...1:1s on paper sound awesome...but if your manager is toxic..it's another Avenue for workplace bullying
@shitijgupta29 Жыл бұрын
@@citydweller99 Most managers are toxic! That is in the job description!
@DP-ym4dg Ай бұрын
Your 1on1's sounds a bit gay... Just saying ))
@prem7676 2 жыл бұрын
That wannabe American accent 😒😒
@shefchenko9467 Жыл бұрын
Thanks
@jatinnandwani6678 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much
@RahulPandeyrkp 2 жыл бұрын
thanks for your support Jatin
Helen Bryant - Leadership Accelerator
Рет қаралды 13 М.
Rahul Pandey
Рет қаралды 302 М.
Helen Bryant - Leadership Accelerator
Рет қаралды 19 М.