KZfaq LIMITED MY ADS SO THIS VIDEO IS DEFINITELY GONNA BE SUPRESSED OH WELL. Also, it’s so minor, but there were some typos in the notes I used in the opening, and it drives me nuts that I didn’t fix it in the editing lol (example: “except” instead of “accept”) but oh well lol. Thanks so much for checking out the video. Due to all the issues I had filming, it’s nowhere near the quality I wanted it to be, but all my future videos will have better audio, lighting, and overall production :) I just wanted to go ahead and get SOMETHING up.

 OH, AND IMPORTANT REMINDER: If you guys liked the music used in the intro and outro of this video, my best friend made it! I’m really happy she was open to letting me use it because I think she’s super talented. pls support her on soundcloud so she can explore this passion of hers further! She really deserves it. Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/kassi-kay-40495819 Song Used in Opening: on.soundcloud.com/Rmm4c 
Song Used in Outro: on.soundcloud.com/yowkM

Your relationship didn't "end" bad. It WAS bad. He destroyed you. It didn't end on a bad note, he WAS bad. Period.

The worst part of depression is the wasted time, man. It's brutal. Your comment about not existing for 3 years is so true, that's exactly what it's like.

You responded to a insta comment of mine 3 years ago asking if inpatient was worth it. I’m 3 years sober now. Your impact is so instrumental you have no idea ❤️

It's horrible how addiction completely erases our identity. Everything is hard. It lowers our ambitions to nothing once the depression takes control.

Never thought I’d see the day again. I honestly and truly wish the best for you taylor, I want you to live a long beautiful life.

Talking to Jonny again is probably the worst idea of all time…

Nobody truly knows the extent of narcissistic abuse. He really did a number on her. I know this because it’s been almost 4 years for me and I’ve not moved on yet, I’ve not even considered it. It’s like that trauma bond never ends. You’re actually terrified to be happy. You feel like you’re doing something wrong. Plus she’s dealing with addiction. It’s a beast.

You’re not alone Taylor. I’ve been sober from heroin for almost 7 years but the depression and anxiety are still there. It’s all taken so much of my life. I wish I could be different. I hope it gets better for you ❤

Welcome to sobriety girl. You need something bigger and beyond yourself and your animals. Community service is the only thing that saved me from depression and obsessive thoughts.

God, hearing you talk about your own depression feels like you're pulling my own thoughts out of my head. Take your time Taylor. Healing is never a straight line. The only "right" way to do anything is what works for YOU. 🖤

You sound so self aware in comparison to your past self and that in itself is huge! I hope even on your worst days you can pat yourself on the back and say “at least I can recognise what I’m feeling compared to before” because you seem to have developed loads even during this dark time of your life. Well done for being so candid, pushing yourself through the grief and darkness you’re feeling. I think you are doing so well! Wish you so much love!

I found this quote that really helped me recently, it's exactly what you're saying. "Bad days don't erase your progress". We can't go back to who we were in the past, but we can grow into a better version of ourselves. You got this Taylor, it just has to be at your own pace. 💕

Your ex doesn’t define you girl! Don’t let your adult accomplishments be shrouded by that man. He inadvertently encouraged you to ruin your life, that’s someone that doesn’t love you; that’s someone that wanted you to be stooped to their level. But you are better than that! You are getting better for yourself and that’s something that no one can take from you. Take care 😢 and much love from your fellow Texan.

When I was using, I felt so productive and motivated. Now that I’m sober I’ve been in a deep depression going on almost two years. Everyday is a struggle. I hope you just take it minute by minute. It’s ok to not be ok. Take care of you.

It’s refreshing to watch a KZfaqr open up about mental health, I know how it feels to be mentally stuck it’s the worst, it makes years feel like a switch and it’s so hard to pull yourself out of it and in a way it’s kind of a relief to be able to relate because I don’t feel alone. Wishing you the best😊

I’m a recovering addict and how you are feeling is exactly how I’ve been feeling for the past few years. Everything seems so unmanageable. I appreciate your transparency. We love you and you are not alone!

We love you Taylor. We’re all here for you, no matter what.

Following your abuser on social media is not going to help you heal and move forward

I loved this update. We're all a work in progress. I'm currently battling some super nasty anxiety paired with panic attacks. Sometimes several in a single day. And I come from a family of addicts. It is certainly hard and complicated to love someone battling addiction. All we can do is take it one day at a time. Not everyday is going to be a good one, but waking up and trying again the next day is a victory. Sending so much love to you, Taylor, and anyone else on the struggle bus.

It’s crazy how much potential you have in so many aspects of your life. I can’t wait for you to see it. You are so worthy I love you so much

I feel this on a deep personal level, Taylor. You showed my life. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Depression is fucking hard, man. You showed what my house looks like, explained my feelings to a T, the teeth brushing thing...girl. My heart is with you, reach out please if you need anything.

I’ve been following you since the beginning Taylor and you’ve come so far, no matter how long it takes you to post a video I always end up staying tuned and look forward to watching you no matter the topic. You’re so young and wise and have a great head in your shoulders, remind me alot of myself so just take it one day at a time and know we’re still here for you ❤

I love the rawness. People need to see this because let me tell you there are more people struggling with the same thing then we think. No one is perfect. Mess or not Taylor we still love you. In all the stages of your life you are still beautiful and worthy. ❤️

i can’t explain the joy i got from you posting again. i’m sorry things are and have been so hard. it’s amazing to see you start to work through it and it’s inspiring for someone like me who is also struggling. it makes me feel like i’m not alone and like i can make it through it too. you’re amazing taylor and i’ve been subscribed since the early days and i think you’re gonna be great. you got this.

oh Taylor, my dear. it’s like you’re saying everything that’s been in my head for the last 5-6 years. especially the art and music things, tho they are flipped for me. I hope your self love journey is fulfilling, you deserve it. thanks for letting us back in for a moment~

Taylor , you have become a voice for so many people. There are people out there who are suffering, and hearing your story is so encouraging in ways of not feeling alone or giving up. Watching this video makes me feel those things and makes me feel so seen. I've experienced depression in the way you described and mentally how you explained the way you think I think that way as well. Thank you for sharing your life with us ❤️

This is the most genuine video I have seen from you! Even your voice sounds genuine. It's such an amazing feeling to break through when it comes to mental health and addiction. Even if you did relapse you haven't lost your recovery, just continue tomorrow. Maybe that's a controversial way to see it but addiction is no different than any other illness, it needs to be seen the same ❤️

Its taken me 6 years to get back to some kindof baseline from my heroin addiction. I still have months where i get like stuck in a hole. It is what it is. We just do what we can Taylor. Im glad to see you at least, even if its just venting.

One quote that's helped me through my experiences with crippling depression is, hilariously, from Animal Crossing: "Remember that the bad times are just times that are bad." Healing isn't linear. Setbacks will happen. Depression is never "cured", but it can become manageable and can be lived with. You are far stronger than you think, even if you don't feel like you are. You survived, and you are surviving. That's all anyone could hope for. Whatever it is you plan to do, whether you stay or move on, I hope you know that you have made people happy, and you have helped people. But now it's time for YOU to find what makes YOU happy. We're proud of you, and we love you. :)

I absolutely love how real and honest you are in this video!! I totally can understand and relate to everything you say.. you say you felt like you had to do something to make everyone’s lives better but what you may not realize is that telling your story like this is SO helpful to so many people just to make them feel less alone and ashamed for going through the same things. THANK YOU!

even just your ability to talk about everything shows so much strength, i hope you know that most of us here are just here to support you because we enjoy and appreciate anything you put out into the world! you're inherently valuable & we dont need a perfect schedule from you! it's been so awesome to see your recovery even if its not done & taking so much more time than expected, youre an inspiration even if you dont feel like it edit: your reminder about healing not being linear is something i wish id also understood much earlier when i was dealing with flares in my chronic pain, thankfully its been manageable recently but it absolutely frustrated/frustrates me when it comes back because i feel like ive 'fixed it' but no, it wont be fixed, it will just be better most days, my anchor has been the bible & i hope you find one too whether its spiritual or a person or a hobby, we really do need something outside ourselves to hold to when our brains suck

Welcome back Taylor❤ we love you, thank you for being so vulnerable with us❤️

I am so happy to see you. I’ve wondered about you over the past few years. You don’t owe us any sort of explanation because depression is unexplainable. I’m proud of you regardless. ❤

I’ve been following your story for years because of how much I relate to it and this is the first year that I had a breakthrough and started my journey on healing my CPTSD. Thank you for this video. It’s hard to come to the reality of dissociating a lot of your life and being a shell of who you once were. Everything that you say is a reflection and it feels like I’m speaking to myself in a sense and it’s very healing. From one stranger to another im so proud of you!

Taylor, I’ve been watching your channel since 2015 and I, as well as many others, have always just wanted what’s best for you. I wanted to let you know that YOU helped me through my biggest depression era. When I was 15 I dropped out of school for a while cause it got so bad. I had two comfort KZfaqrs that made me feel better. Jenna marbles and you. After watching Jenna leave KZfaq, I got worried that you would too. I got scared seeing all of this unfold for you. I want you to know that no matter what direction you go, you do it for you, because believe it or not you already have made a huge impact on people. A positive one. I’m 20 now and I still have that bell on every time you post. I feel like I’m checking in on a friend. Thank you for being there for everyone, but now you have to focus all that love and care on yourself.

I have been following you for 4 years now and I know your story through this channel, which brings me to the point that you are strong girl and I am glad that you are taking your time and exploring this phase of depression. Stay strong and stay blessed. Lots of courage and love from a silent subscriber.

Thank you for the vulnerability and courage to put this out Taylor, all love and well wishes in your journey! ❤️

It's really nice to see you pop back in! I appreciate your honesty about your depression, I too suffer from the ''embarrassing'' aspects of it like not showering, changing clothes, brushing my hair etc so I find what you said to be so relatable. I too also am a perfectionist that finds it hard to do anything, isolates and ghosts people ... I applaud you overcoming obstacles and taking things on one step and day at a time. I wish you all the very best! ♥ Love and hugs from Australia xox

Watching you is such a breath of fresh air. I can relate. i know how it feels to live that secret, double-life. Pretending you’re sober, good, healthy.. aaand you’re not. I’ve been struggling and going to the clinic for the last year. It sucks, I feel alone in my journey. I feel stuck and like I’m not progressing. But it’s nice to hear you talk. Keep fighting. You always touch my heart with your words and just by seeing you continue on ❤️

Why would you ever talk to Jonny again

Proud of how far you’ve come and how much farther you’ll get. Glad to hear from you once again. Remember that just getting up from bed , brushing your teeth, changing your clothes ,etc. is a huge accomplishment! I hope to see you thrive and grow to love yourself the way we all love you as a person. 🫶🏼

I appreciate your authenticity so much and I can relate to the embarrassment of depression so much also the identity issues, thank you for being so vulnerable publicly - it truly does help people to hear your experience and know we're not alone. Stay strong 💖✨ much love

i’ve been watching you since i was 11 years old. i’m now almost 18 and i get so so excited when i see a new video. i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 12, and adhd at 16. i hope you get the help you need even though sometimes it feels like nothing will help and you’ll forever feel this way. we got this ❤️ you are so beautiful

This is refreshing honestly I'm happy to see you Taylor and I'm wishing you all the best. We're close in age and with simular life experiences unfortunately so I fully understand how you feel right now, some days I only get out of bed to go to work and keep a roof over my dogs heads, I genuinely don't think I'd be alive if it weren't for the dogs, then I come home take care of them and lay in my messy floor until I need to get up the next day. Fighting a war against yourself is incredibly difficult sometimes we just need to take it one minute at a time because even hours get overwhelming.

Don’t ever feel like you 100% owe us an explanation for when you don’t post. Taking care of yourself is more important and we will understand if you take a break ❤❤❤❤

I’m pissed that I’m only seeing this 2 weeks after upload but I could literally listen to you talk forever. I started watching you when I was addicted to opiates. You inspired me to get a snake, sudoku, who I didn’t take good enough care of and my mom sold her when I got hospitalized. Life has been insane since but coming back to you rn feels so full circle and it’s so weird how the internet works… like I don’t know you at all but I feel like I do, and I know thousands of people feel that same way but man I missed you, WE missed you. We don’t sit and think about the way you say things like your brain thinks we do. Love you Taylor. Your videos were an escape for me then and now this is a brand new moment and I’m grateful for that. Thank you

Was very glad to see you posted bc you’ve been in my thoughts recently. I feel it in my bones that you’re gonna find a way forward no matter what- you strike me as a fighter. If you love music and want to pursue it, I highly recommend music lessons. Not only will you learn & grow but it’s good to have a routine to look forward to. And once you start to make progress, it’s so rewarding ❤

I’ve googled and checked social media for updates on how you were doing countless times. Welcome back, you’re forever loved and celebrated here.

I’m currently in recovery myself from heroin and opiate use. You’ve got his girl remember to take care of yourself. It’s funny how the word works I literally thought about you today and this video was posted. You need to surround yourself with people who love you and want to see you succeed. Isolation is the number one reason for relapse. Getting out into the word without drugs when it was your everything is hard. It was the only relationship I had for years. Keep fighting girl the world is beautiful and you Deserve to live that own life.

What sucks is that a lot of people with depression (myself included) go through rough times thinking it will end eventually. There are days, weeks, or months when we feel happy, functional, and better. And we think that our depression is over. And it sucks because there really is no promise of better or happiness. I hope that your good days are good and your bad days are survivable. Love you, Taylor.

I’ve been watching for years and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. No matter what you decide to do I’ll be here to support that! Stay strong

Taylor! I never comment on videos but just have to tell you how happy I am to see you. Been watching you for years and deeply relate to you in SO many ways (severe mental health issues, addiction, abuse, same age, and even also have chronic health issues the same as you EDS, POTS..) and to hear you be so brave and honest with how you're feeling and what you're going thru means the whole world because a lot of these feelings I've never known how to express or thought other people felt the EXACT way. Wow I really hope you can see how important and special of a person you are and how much you mean to the world. I believe in you and just know that there are people out here that really do understand and going thru the same thing and the huge impact just you talking about it makes. I support you all the way and I hope you stay true to you and post and share exactly what you want to! We care about YOU, not just the animals. We are here for you and I am wishing the best for you every single day. We can get thru this and it means the world to know we all aren't fighting alone no matter how much it feels that way. Sending all my love! You are truly cared for.

I have also been struggling for the last 5-4 years with depression and addiction. And just like you, I've found a lot of comfort in animals. It's great how you're so open about your own struggles and I wish you the absolute best ❤️ Remember it's a long process but it will all sort itself out eventually!

I appreciate your openness and vulnerability. The courage it took to share this experience shows the strength you have. Thank you

i hope you will continue to make videos just simply talking about your mental health more often. I’m so proud of you trying to pick yourself back up and I know you’ve been trying your best. I’ve watched you over the years I’ve never stop loving watching you. i think you are one of the prettiest girls I’ve never seen and I really mean it truly. Please feel better we will always be proud of you. Please see your worth in this world and how much of a difference you made in all of your viewers! ❤

Glad you can be transparent about your mental health. Proud of you ❤️

I'm sending so much love, Taylor. I'm so proud of you for sharing something so personal with us

So good to see you again! Enjoyed the mood lighting and deep topics. It's enough, just you being you. Sending a big hug your way!

i’ve watched you my whole life you’ve always been the biggest inspiration and about 2 months ago i overdosed pretty badly on a variety of drugs and since i’ve been struggling so so much with getting my life back together, just like you said some days it’s hard to even get out of bed to go to the bathroom. sharing your experience is the most vulnerable thing ever, i wish i could be open with my family and friends about how hard daily life is. it’s always been a huge struggle even before but obviously putting such a strain on my body and mind made it worse. i’m proud to say tho that since i haven’t taken anything since. you probably get this a lot but your truly such a strong person, and i think your incredible. ❤

I struggle with depression and have been hospitalized and in residential homes because of it now at 18 I still struggle with depression anxiety and substance abuse I’m so glad your taking each day at a time your truly a beautiful wonderful person you are so strong thank you for helping me with my journey :)

Thank you for sharing that. I know the struggle unfortunately. I've dealt with anxiety and depression too. I know what a life killer it can be. One of the worst parts for me is the loneliness. Feeling like nobody else feels like this, why do I? Feeling that nobody could possibly understand. I'm so sorry that you're experiencing this but at the same time I'm grateful to you for sharing your story. It helps to know there is someone out there who understands. I've enjoyed your videos over the years, thank you for doing what you do and for letting me be a very small of it. Don't give up. You're worth it.

Thank you so much for coming back and sharing sharing al of this with us. Just know that whatever you decide to do that we will support you

Dude I always thought it was just me that thought like this…now this gave me a reason to get more mental health care. Thank you and thank you for making others feel not so alone❤️

I came across your story in the Vice piece, and it hit hard. Not because I’ve had any substance abuse, but because my depression is often shackling me. I’ve destroyed my life and am now trying to pick up the pieces, at 35 years old. I’d be lying if I said I’m excited because of how good I’m doing, because I often feel like a failure and a disappointment. But I have to remember that recovery takes as long as if needs. That’s it. Thanks for your update, I’m glad you’re doing well and I’m sincerely happy I found your channel. ❤

Facing myself my codependency and mental issues this year as been the hardest part of whole 28 years I've been on this earth. Yesterday I had the courage to brake up with my boyfriend of the six past years who was emotionally unavailable and sometime abusive, I still unconditionally love him, so this hits right in those feels. I'm proud you had the courage to post, it's difficult to take actions and mostly accountability, even tho it might not have brought you joy your video felt like a warm hug to me it's sweet to know your not alone. Status quo is comfortable but lead me nowhere I truly hope all of us here can find purpose in going forward.

I am so proud of you Taylor just so you know I have been watching your channel since the year before your break your videos never get old when im having my hardest days so thank you sm for being a light in this community and always being true to yourself and helping others every time your post a video love ya

I just want to say... you are certainly not alone. I, too have lived stagnant for the past few years- not going outside, not caring for myself, and in a perpetual state of worry and self-hate for not being who I was or think I *should* be as well. Inevitably, not having the mental capacity to care for oneself like that also leads to confidence & self-worth issues, only deepening the abyss of what is such a depressive state. It’s honestly wild hearing my own 3-year long experience being spoken to me from someone else’s mouth, all while it not actually being about me. It’s freeing in a way to know that I am not some freak or anomaly. These things are so hard to talk and be open about, and holy crapoli do I commend and respect you dearly. I always have. These things don’t even take baby steps- they take FETAL steps, but every single one counts- even if that step is just an epiphany. Sending you so much love, sweet human. THANK YOU for sharing yourself with us. 🤍❤️🤘🏼

Hi taylor Been watching you since 2017 I did not even notice that it was that long until now honestly, you taking a break from youtube really made me sad there are times I check your channel 2-3 times a day thinking my notification bell is not working then I was so happy to find you on instagram but got sad about the thing you’re going through. But just so you know I still look up to you I wanna live a life that you have with your animals I believe in you taylor I believe that you can get over this and live a long beautiful life I still remember my grade 9 self memorizing your animals name to a piece of notebook. You can’t imagine how happy am I seeing this video that you uploaded again. But then again you can do it I’m soo proud of the every little thing you do. Baby steps are progress too! Loveyou tay❤

I’ve been a fan for about 6 years. I’m 22 right now but about a two years ago I fell down a rabbit hole of drugs and dating to make myself feel better. I really resonate with all the healing and bumps you’ve been through. Hearing you talk about it bluntly also helps me come to terms with my own healing. I would love a podcast and some music ❤

i deeply appreciate you discussing your depression. i personally struggle with depression and you talking about how your brain is never ever empty now is exactly how i feel and you described it so perfectly. it’s super hard to never get a break. again, thank you so much for sharing and for putting how i feel into words. take care taylor

Stay strong sis you are going to get through this rollercoaster of life- some of us struggle more than others, but you will prevail!! Your an amazing soul inside and out, keep shining like the light in darkness. These difficult times make us stronger and become part of your story ❤

Proud of you for rising above so much trauma. Sending love and light always. Don’t forget your strength. ❤

I'm a forty-year-old woman and I've loved your videos since you first started. I also live with chronic illness and disability and trauma, and I also find my joy in animals. I think that how your expressed yourself in this video is really important, and I think that you're about to find a new way to think about life and yourself. It's never about getting better. That's never a guarantee. It's about learning to count spoons, learning how to weave a web of interdependence with other people, learning how to value your ideas and interests and thoughts. Forget about getting better. Just think about ways of making life livable. It took me a long time, and honestly, my body just keeps falling apart, but I'm so much better at life. I am so good at connecting to people now, so good at recognizing my windows of productivity, so good at taking myself seriously. Know that these wonderful things await you. All my love to you, Taylor, from Crip Mom.

This video really actually helped me…. I’m always happy every time I see a post from you being so open and honest and candid

I’ve followed you since you started your channel. You were the one who got me to realize I had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which I will forever be grateful for. It’s crazy hearing you dealing with a lot of the same issues I have. I’m so thankful for you❤️

You talk so eloquently about these subjects. It's really inspiring. You'd be a fabulous public speaker at schools. Sending you so much love x

This video was cathartic to watch for me because I face similar struggles to you :( Ive seen ppl that talk about and show symptoms of depression like not showering and having trouble cleaning a space being harassed and bullied by tons of people. I even see people who are fairly progressive on other issues denigrating and ridiculing others posting about more severe depression symptoms. It often makes me feel like I'm failing at being depressed in the "right way", like these difficulties are not caused by mental illness but by me just being a terrible person. I really appreciate you mentioning more severe symptoms, it means a lot to me to hear someone with a platform speak candidly about it. This made me feel less alone in my struggles, and brings some comfort in a distressing situation. Sorry for the long comment, I wish that youll make progress in your recovery and find some fulfilling things to do ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much for sharing what you’re going through with us. I relate to what you’ve said so so much in my own trauma and recovery. Thanks for helping me feel less alone ❤

I feel like you truly understand where I am in life right now. I too am at this level of depression, and have had a hard time feeling okay with my mess. I've been this way for just over four years and it feels really hopeless. I really hope we get better someday.

GIRL REDOING IT ALL 100 TIMES. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT😩🙌🏻 YOU ARE A CHAMPION!!!👏🏻 when things like that happen to me it devastates me and I often give up. it takes SO MUCH to continue after things like that happen, so to use all your mental and physical strength to do it and then the light dies? cue the crying on the floor😩😂 I AM SO PROUD YOU DID THIS, IT MOTIVIATES ME AND MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I CAN PUSH MYSELF TO DO STUFF TOO!!! GREAT JOB TAYLOR!!!

Thank you for transparently sharing this Taylor.. it couldn't have been easy in the slightest but it's good to hear from you again.

I love you so much taylor. I think you’re so intelligent in the way you explain your feelings. Don’t forget that one day you’ll look back at those times and be so proud for how far you’ve come ❤

I'm slowly coming out of a depression episode right now. This resonates on deep levels with me. Ik u probably felt anxious about uploading this video but I think I really needed to hear this. Thank you for being honest about your experience. The only constant is change, so let us both embrace that. Sending love to u

Taylor this is the most validating thing I have ever seen as you are the first to share a couple experiences that I have. You are so strong for sharing this and opening yourself up. So I figured I would share to help you know you're not alone (this is just my personal experience which I felt was similar and it is not me pushing you to do anything at all). Depression is the worst thing ever. At the worst of it, I just like you would pee in cups and throw it out. I was just naked half the time because all my clothes were filthy, it was unacceptable. All I could muster with my energy was to take care of my pet fish. I struggled so much with the not living in the moment feeling you expressed here., I couldn't get over how everyone else was perceiving the moment, and being on constant high alert. After years of watching my life wiz by feeling overwhelmed by everything happening, I saw a therapist who helped me discover it was an anxiety disorder mixed with PTSD from past abuse. I have since worked on meditation, mindfulness, and self-respect. Realizing I am Important and truly believing it was the biggest step in recovery for me. I'm still working on it and have had rough days. It has been 4 years since the diagnosis and I'm still getting there, but I'm so happy I didn't give up when I was at my lowest, no matter how much I wanted to.

i feel soooooo seen and understood here. i feel like ive been in the same cycle for years as well, like i don’t really do anything and i have no idea who i am because ive spent the past couple years just so wrapped up in my endlessly deteriorating mental health that even when i do start feeling better i have no idea what to do with myself. i’m in the same boat of trying to figure out who i even am, what i like and don’t like and what i want my life to be. i’m almost 26 and just sit around on disability for my mental health issues waiting to feel better. but this video really struck a chord with me, i don’t want to keep waiting until i’m better to do anything. anyway idk, love you girl and here for any videos you ever wanna make

I’m so so so glad you uploaded this video because goodness did it help me better understand my mental health. and the analogy you used of walking a winding trail was so awesome, I’m using that from now on, I’m so hoping this video helped YOU as well and we’d love to see you WHENEVER YOU ARE BETTER, whenever you can. don’t force yourself to upload, the people who are here are here for you, and we’re all here for the long run and just want you to feel your best. we have our ups and downs but well take it one day at a time 💕

"You're not climbing up a ladder." Thank you. Hit 400 days sober recently & I need this now more than ever. We appreciate the candor.

As someone who has been going in and out of depression since being 13 years old, and who has been stuck in the worst yet for 8 months now, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I’m still trying to figure ot how to get out myself, so I won’t pretend I know anything that helps or that I know what the purpose of doing stuff is. I don’t. All I can say is I love you and I hope we can eventually learn to at least find happiness in existing. Thank you for posting, Taylor ❤ Edit: Just finished watching the video, and just wanted to say I enjoy listening to you talk about whatever, so don’t feel pressured to make videos about anything specific, and I’m all for it if you decide to start a podcast. You do you, always 🖤

I LOVE YOU!! i've been around for SOOO long, and i deeply appreciate the honesty, transparency, and introspection in this video. i cannot wait to see what lies in your newest chapter, whether it's vlogs, book reviews, cooking tutorials, literally anything you want to create, or nothing! I will always be here to support you in your growth as a person and i cant wait to watch your next video!

Thanks you for this Taylor, I’ve had so many similar experiences and watching your video it felt like this wise voice was talking back to me, helping me, explaining to me what was going on through all those times. I felt not lonely for the first time in a while. Thank you.

Warning: Really long comment. I really appreciate you talking about your life experiences and dealing with depression and anxiety. I have also dealt with both depression and anxiety severely. I got so depressed in like 10th grade in highschool through early college. I didn't have any motivation I just wanted to die and felt like nobody would care. I felt so worthless and like I had no purpose. On top of it I also experience anxiety and it could/does get debilitating at times. I have always gone through life at a slower pace than my peers and it heavily weighs on me nonstop and I think about it nonstop. I had to be put in resource classes when I transitioned from private to public school. I don't adjust to change very easily and it takes me longer. I have gotten better with it but it is still a struggle and a challenge for me. I graduated from highschool and started college and didn't really know what I wanted to do. I failed alot of classes and just started getting so frustrated and getting depressed. I then left college and just worked for like 3-4 years and been in an out of college. I have ended up changing my mind many times. I see friends and other people who have graduated college and are married and have good careers and I just feel so stuck and like a failure. I constantly compare my situation in life to others and it makes me miserable and it just is a never ending downward spiral. I still live with my parents and want to be on my own but with how expensive cost of living and the inflation it is not financially feasible. I am currently doing an online aquarium maintenance program while working full time because I have always loved fish and want a career doing what I love with fish. I often worry about this current venture falling through because my previous ventures did. I just hate this phase it is so uncomfortable and anxiety inducing. Transitioning from childhood to adulthood has been so difficult for me and I'm sure it is for many others but so many people make it look easy. This in turn of course makes me feel negatively about myself like why am I having such a hard time with this. My anxiety about being around larger gatherings and the small talk questions like "what do you do?" "are you in college?" just make me so uncomfortable because I feel embarrassed about where I am in life. I get so anxious about certain events and things that I just avoid them and don't make myself present. I may seem fine on the outside but internally my mind is going through so many negative thoughts. Also sometimes I can just get really irritable and lash out and that is just my anxiety. Other times I get really quiet and disconnect from people around me like a switch just turns off and I isolate myself. My anxiety gets so bad at times that I get physically sick and lose all my energy. I am very closed off with most people because I have been hurt by people in the past so I have major trust issues and it is hard for me to get personal with people now. I have like maybe 2 friends who I consider in my inner circle. It is very easy to feel isolated and alone but we have to remind ourselves that there are other people who struggle in similar areas. It can be very painful and difficult to share these deep issues but doing so really can help others. Thank you so much for sharing this with us Taylor. I hope this helps someone.

Taylor, no matter what, I’m just happy you’re here. ❤️

praying for your healing and recovering.. for everyone thats battling depression. still so beautiful taylor!!!! can't wait for future content from you!!!!

Thank you for speaking the truth and the reality of life! Takes a lot of courage to show who you really are and I feel you try to really be honest and I applaud you I’m rooting for you. Love you.

this is the most down to earth you’ve seemed ever.

Dont feel pressured to come back babygirl!! If being on the internet is hard for you and your recovery its understandable!! It would have been for me and it was hard without it. Maybe just let us know your alive once a while :) we do care about you and want you to take all the time you need to get better, and to just have a happy life

You do you girl, there are people who love you regardless and appreciate all of your life experience stories and can relate to a few, some or more than just some. Love you!❤

I'm so happy to see you again, I look you up every once in a while to see how you are doing and last time I did it people were saying worrying things about you, I am glad you are back online, and I am happy that you can share your life with honesty and show a "raw" version of what is usually put up online.

Don't put pressure on yourself to get things perfect before filming or post on a regular schedule. The people who are still watching are happy to watch whatever you want, whenever you want to post it. You're not letting anyone down. And I think a podcast might be a really good idea, because it doesn't matter if you don't have the motivation to get dressed or brush your teeth or put on makeup, no one can see you! I've also struggled with depression for years and this video was actually really helpful, because you always look so beautiful and that seemed so unattainable for me. I'm currently a week into not showering and I don't have the energy to change that, and while I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's kind of nice to know that you're going through the same thing. That it probably costs you a lot of energy to try to look that good. It makes me feel like I can do it too :)