If Tom Segura Could S*** His Own D***, Would He?

If Tom Segura Could S* His Own D*, Would He? - Answer the Internet

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2 жыл бұрын

If Tom Segura Could S*** His Own D***, Would He? - Answer the Internet
Tom Segura makes his long awaited return to Answer the Internet.
Leave your weird, crazy hypotheticals in the comments. We'll feature them on the show.
We've collected the Internet's dumbest questions over the last 9 years on our podcast KFC Radio and put Tom Segura to the test.
Get Tickets to Tom's tour at Tomsegura.com
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#AnswerTheInternet #TomSegura

Пікірлер: 905

@AnswertheInternet 2 жыл бұрын

Subscribe and leave a comment who you want to see on the show below! barstool.link/ATI

@BansheeMilk 2 жыл бұрын

Ask one of these comedians if they would rather look like the Mona Lisa or have that guy that draws everyone eating Tacos to paint them everyday

@heatherevans2679 2 жыл бұрын

Referring to the "would Tom s*** his own d***" question...someone should have asked him if he would spit or swallow? He looks like a swallower to me.

@tyr1098 2 жыл бұрын

Please bring Joe Rogan

@shank513 2 жыл бұрын

Please bring in Ed Asher or Robert Paul Champagne or Garth Brooks

@hypnotoad28 2 жыл бұрын

I'm sure someone else has pointed it out but the question read at 3:56 is different than the question shown on the card. Not worth a reupload at all but ye

@juanairbag 2 жыл бұрын

Love him, definitively my favourite japanese comedian.

@ignaciocamacho5564 Жыл бұрын

SEGURAAAA

@darkstar0554 Жыл бұрын

I needed this call back 🤣

@vidennn Жыл бұрын

@@ignaciocamacho5564 I read this exactly how he said it.

@negativeindustrial Жыл бұрын

SMIIIIIITHHHHH!

@user-rl3uy9mp5n 9 ай бұрын

@@ignaciocamacho5564 I was gonna say the same thing SSEEGGURA!!!!

@Arthur-ek7nd 2 жыл бұрын

This isn't Tom Segura.... everyone knows the real Tom wears a single glove

@hottsaucekid 2 жыл бұрын

Fr kinda upset he wasn't serious about wearing it all the time.

@andrewledford3865 2 жыл бұрын

This was surely filmed more than a couple weeks ago....

@FrostyJokerr 2 жыл бұрын

Someone keeps it high and tight. Love you Daddy!

@joeyhampton5075 2 жыл бұрын

@@andrewledford3865 doubt it.

@slimthickens3981 2 жыл бұрын

THAT'S what was missing from this video. His vibe seemed a little off and now I know why

@navtektv 2 жыл бұрын

I like that Tom stretched that disabled kids question out to sound as offensive as he could.

@notbadforanoob8725 Жыл бұрын

What was offensive about it?

@stagglee1227 2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I think we forget that Tom's a goddamn sociopath...

@mikepryor7467 2 жыл бұрын

i celebrate it

@kristiskinner8542 2 жыл бұрын

A mommy should never do that, def not proto

@BasilHagens 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah he says he’d kill baby hitler but then says he wouldn’t end world hunger because he likes pain and suffering Therefore He only wants to kill baby hitler for the thrill

@justinwatson6932 2 жыл бұрын

@@BasilHagens nah ya dingus he said he wouldn't take any amount of money over ending world hunger....however he would def love to kill a baby....complicated dude

@decadefacade Жыл бұрын

right?

@sgtJA 2 жыл бұрын

3:56 he’s answering a different question than the screen is showing. Rookie editing, lads.

@mrjefflive 2 жыл бұрын

terrible green screen setup too lol

@UncommonLtd. 2 жыл бұрын

I was like wtf..

@treefiddytwoo 2 жыл бұрын

y'all expect too much of Barstool 🤣

@notoriousnite 2 жыл бұрын

Ikr lol I saw that too

@ishoboi8021 2 жыл бұрын

LOL. also at 8:55 it sounds like the camera guy is about to pass out. Its like some call of duty flashbang type beat.

@ddlk9913 2 жыл бұрын

"where's Tom?" "He's up in his room blowing himself" I've been telling people for years that Tom is his favorite sauce, and nobody believes me.

@MarwinKellers 2 жыл бұрын

Him saying "I'm on tour" on the $25k question makes so much sense. No idea what his margins are after crew, travel, merch and everything, but he is probably getting close to making that a day when he has daily shows and sells our arenas.

@kman9884 2 жыл бұрын

And all that sweet passive KZfaq ad money rolling in from YMH, 2B1C, and DDAD. Since he’s in Texas now he’s not getting buttfucked tax-wise so he’s gotta be living good while on tour.

@andresmith7545 2 жыл бұрын

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ebeCp696z964iqs.html ⬆️ Overdosing on fetnyol in Prison 😂 😆 it’s too funny!!

@Spaxcore Жыл бұрын

@Quinn Nisbet I highly doubt he's doing half a mil a night. Maybe 100 to 200k tops.

@nathanchildress5596 7 ай бұрын

He said $25K, which is about $9 million a year on tour. Compared to athletes that’s not insane

@hunternaquin9064 2 жыл бұрын

Saw Tom at the rogan and chapelle comedy show and he was easily the best that night

@bobbyfreebandz1732 2 жыл бұрын

that NOLA show was WILD!

@Operation3Sixty 2 жыл бұрын

Well Rogan isn't much competition 😂😂

@Real_Iceout 2 жыл бұрын

Not too surprising tbh. That’s definitely saying something though! When was this?

@Christopher-md7tf 2 жыл бұрын

I mean yeah, one of those other two guys exclusively talks about chimps eating elk meat in an infrared sauna and the other's still butthurt over being called a transphobe

@Operation3Sixty 2 жыл бұрын

@@Christopher-md7tf You really think Dave gives any fks about that?

@nickolson9131 2 жыл бұрын

"Well, a lot of spit" had me dying.

@dcthereal1 2 жыл бұрын

Good to see Tom is following Proto. He won't be touching anyone's camera through the fence

@joshkunua8368 2 жыл бұрын

What?

@AlfredSoul 2 жыл бұрын

You're fired, buddy.

@royceisthebestrapper7686 2 жыл бұрын

Gonna go see him next summer, I hear he’s coming up in may!

@dcthereal1 2 жыл бұрын

@@royceisthebestrapper7686 that's spring, you must be tok'd

@Maazitung 2 жыл бұрын

@@joshkunua8368 Here, let me explain it to you: 👖👖👖👖👖👖

@corey5770 2 жыл бұрын

With him wearing that Micheal Myers outfit just reminds me how much of a psycho Tom really is

@DemoDick1 2 жыл бұрын

That shirt is the last thing you see before the screaming begins.

@rolldemtrees7419 2 жыл бұрын

Psycho??

@rolldemtrees7419 2 жыл бұрын

He's clever

@bryanbirney2866 2 жыл бұрын

My family has never believed me about light triggering a sneeze. Now I know I can have them look it up. Love Tom, funniest comedian, and yes I'm a Mommy.

@chadgrov 2 жыл бұрын

I think its more about looking up. I always thought it was feom looking up to the sun but i think if u just look up it makes you sneeze

@tomharman9840 2 жыл бұрын

Keep it high and tight.

@evsrax9556 2 жыл бұрын

its light, its a minority of people in the world that it happens to

@Bhans920 2 жыл бұрын

@@evsrax9556 throw me and my son in on that one

@SimonSez83 2 жыл бұрын

My old man is like that. I didn't know it was a thing either. I'm not that sensitive to it but it does work when I need it

@CarMad97ci 2 жыл бұрын

“What are you going to do, fight the internet?” Indeed Tom, indeed 😂😂 #undefeated

@BodybuildingJourneys 2 жыл бұрын

I haven't laughed out loud this hard in months. Cured my morning depression.

@jedaaa 2 жыл бұрын

Seriously mate, binging comedy on YT has got me through years of depression haha, keep it up

@alow4012 2 жыл бұрын

I could watch this for hours. Tom has such a great personality for this show. I love all his stuff

@DumbassCanadianGuy 2 жыл бұрын

So the basketball accident was a cover story, Tom was really trying to blow himself.

@bl6ine351 2 жыл бұрын

When he said “people not being able to get health care, it’s great” I lost it🤣🤣😭

@samfc23 2 жыл бұрын

so the real question is would you rather have 2 normal kids or be the father of patrick mahomes?

@GC-yw1mn 2 жыл бұрын

LOLOLOL

@micahwest2793 2 жыл бұрын

Points 😂

@Jkizzle4996 2 жыл бұрын

The real challenging question would be you get to have Jackson as well as patrick

@zeekot4064 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@1Maverick2 2 жыл бұрын

Who gives a shit about Mahomes' trash ass lol. Shoulda said Brady.

@connorvincent6287 Жыл бұрын

This guy is one of the most effortlessly funny people I’ve ever listened to.

@MSUParker 2 жыл бұрын

I'm dead serious I literally just got off the phone with my grandma so that HJ question had me shook lol

@sluggy1739 2 жыл бұрын

well which do you choose

@jcarson3721 2 жыл бұрын

Were you having the same conversation?

@larryhoover2541 2 жыл бұрын

The only way this is even remotely weird is if you were both discussing BJ's

@TheRockhopper77 2 жыл бұрын

I love whenever you bring tim sogera on, him and brit krunchler are the best

@TylerTakacsIsAwesome 2 жыл бұрын

Uh...its bert kershner* 🤪

@Trailer__Swift 2 жыл бұрын

And it’s Tom Segura…his name is RIGHT THERE 😓 🤦🏼‍♂️

@Poastie 2 жыл бұрын

@@Trailer__Swift yeah it's not that heard to spell ten suhurha

@cameronmcgrady227 2 жыл бұрын

Barf kersler*

@Outdatedmoviereviews 2 жыл бұрын

Barts my favourite

@nicdundas 2 жыл бұрын

Bro, it's like he's a comedian or something

@ALLTimeGamerTroll 2 жыл бұрын

He definetly should be! What does he do?

@nicdundas 2 жыл бұрын

@@ALLTimeGamerTroll check out Your Mom's House on KZfaq!

@ALLTimeGamerTroll 2 жыл бұрын

@@nicdundas i was Just fucking with you bro 😂im a big fan haha

@nicdundas 2 жыл бұрын

@@ALLTimeGamerTroll had to keep it high and tight!

@michaelwootan 2 жыл бұрын

Watch out for Waspis!!!

@kennypowers3654 2 жыл бұрын

They'll sting ya!!!

@WickensWickedReptiles 2 жыл бұрын

totally agree with Tom's D essing strategy

@hi_tech_reptiles 2 жыл бұрын

Bro I see you in the weirdest places lol. Looks like we have more than 1 interest in common (comedy, not self-sucking)

@WickensWickedReptiles 2 жыл бұрын

@@hi_tech_reptiles hahaha! Ehhh Keep em high n tight mommy!

@PissRat69 2 жыл бұрын

Watching one of your videos on my tv and this on my iPhone right now shit is wild

@MiguelCruz-hh9vm 2 жыл бұрын

I am legit so happy you are a mommy! Keep up the great content!

@tyler35tpb50 2 жыл бұрын

Love your videos

@gavinohlhauser1258 2 жыл бұрын

Have on Brett Krishna, I hear they do a podcast together

@vafixer8885 2 жыл бұрын

I really love Brent

@ralphh428 2 жыл бұрын

Bruce!

@laundryprovider1119 2 жыл бұрын

Bart Kristals is my 12th favourite comedian!

@sethrizzke 2 жыл бұрын

@@umpin3 your last sentence is precisely correct

@rubino8989 2 жыл бұрын

The laugh in the room after the self BJ visual was perfect 👌

@nicholassmith3341 Жыл бұрын

Tom is super friendly; he ate at my work once (I work at a restaurant), and I said, " oh, you look like this comedian I like," and he was like, "yeah, that's me", and I was. Like "wait tom?"

@dylanwarren3098 2 жыл бұрын

This video turned me into a teleidoscope.

@rams812 2 жыл бұрын

This ish made my jeans high&tight. Keep bringing Tommy Bunz on, because that's following proto 🤘 keep featherin it people🔥

@boscoblack 2 жыл бұрын

I've seen Joey Diaz and Jim Jefferies live, now I just need to see Tom, Burr and Jim Norton

@lordtachanka80 2 жыл бұрын

Hell yeah we needed this!

@Riomojo 2 жыл бұрын

LOL I DIED at 2:24 when he looked at the back of the card as if the Devil’s signature would be there

@kevinb4038 2 жыл бұрын

Tim Butterly and Mike Rainey . Get this Dad Meat on the show

@Riclmnopp 2 жыл бұрын

Touch my camera through the fence..

@chadjolet1 Жыл бұрын

The best one y’all have done hands down

@michaeltoledo47 2 жыл бұрын

This was hilarious😂😂

@CarlosMontesBby 2 жыл бұрын

Hearing him talk about that tour money is really making me want to try to suck at stand up for a couple years🤫

@erikch5752 2 жыл бұрын

The world needs more comedy 🤙

@CarlosMontesBby 2 жыл бұрын

@@erikch5752 indeed it does

@MrNicvdb 2 жыл бұрын

3:58 the overlay doesn't match the question Tom is reading.

@anthonymadril1210 2 жыл бұрын

"Lot of spit" 😆😆🤣🤣😆😆🤣🤣

@sahillsekhon3 2 жыл бұрын

Definitely the best guest behind Theo von

@kristiskinner8542 2 жыл бұрын

Before Theo, Tom is always before Theo

@justinhicks306 2 жыл бұрын

I love Tom Segura. I love his standup, and I love YMH. I’m six and a half minutes in, and my favorite thing about this video so far is that I haven’t heard Feitelfag’s idiot voice at all yet.

@kawffeytheinkredible3295 2 жыл бұрын

When he said, “A Lotta spit…” 🤣🤣🤣

@chriscr21 2 жыл бұрын

lol This was great!

@slimesizecounts5873 2 жыл бұрын

Tom the type of guy the get a taste for stoning people and wouldn’t be able to stop. And if he did he would have a % of his population tortured in front of him for entertainment or just recorded for later.

@JunkmailAccount 2 жыл бұрын

Definitely 2nd best out of everybody who has ever been on ATI.

@TrophyGuide101 2 жыл бұрын

Who's first?

@jameswalker5053 2 жыл бұрын

@@TrophyGuide101 Gotta be Soder

@dustinnelson7970 2 жыл бұрын

Behind ole dick justice?

@brendanwettergreen7041 2 жыл бұрын

I’m personally a fan of Brent Crystals

@andrew_l1900 2 жыл бұрын

Theo

@TerribleTeamate 2 жыл бұрын

Best guest yet

@exzisd 2 жыл бұрын

Tom always makes me laugh. Wonderfully terrible person & great comic.

@mooksball1 2 жыл бұрын

Why isn't Tommy Bunz wearing his glove?

@bjk0norway0bjk 2 жыл бұрын

Cuz the pods are on a huge backlog

@jacksondiamond9566 2 жыл бұрын

Had to pause because I was laughing too hard to finish my bowl💨🤣

@josef2012 2 жыл бұрын

I love the stumbling around which year 5 years ago was 🤣

@MrWesd93 2 жыл бұрын

My dad has that photosensitive sneezing or whatever Tom was talking about... I don't... I'm so jealous... I have to sneeze and then it goes away, he has to sneeze and looks at a light bammo

@agb127 2 жыл бұрын

I have it too and nobody I ever told had it

@peterconley5533 2 жыл бұрын

Tom "A lot of spit" Segura

@Impuhlz 11 ай бұрын

Tom's fake sneeze 3:25 is a thing of greatness- I must sample this Daddy Jean gem

@joehenry9546 2 жыл бұрын

Those questions were hilarious

@brandonmartin08 2 жыл бұрын

That’s where it spits

@nicolascapretti6307 2 жыл бұрын

Gotta get Bert on there now

@AnswertheInternet 2 жыл бұрын

👀

@nelsonedwards6184 2 жыл бұрын

@@AnswertheInternet please get Bert on! Just make sure you hide any nearby dogs and sanitize the studio afterwards.

@benjamincartwright5784 2 жыл бұрын

They gotta do a special for Bert. He'd get through 2/3rds of a single question in the time Tom got through all of them'

@mariahjuliette9324 10 ай бұрын

To know Tom Segura sneezes at bright lights makes me feel better about my sneezing at bright lights lol

@christopherfletcher5384 2 жыл бұрын

2:46. Imagine walking around 24-7 with a permanent O face😁

@yes3858 2 жыл бұрын

I heard tit and Tom in same sentence... subbed

@ROFO79 2 жыл бұрын

If Tom was Kim he’d make everyone laugh at Christina’s jokes under threat of scrum eating

@morgankuphal3417 2 жыл бұрын

These would be great questions for PKA

@jaimeramos9497 2 жыл бұрын

I've heard of his name before but never actually have seen him talk or what he does. This dude is hilarious. Got himself a new fan.

@BradVicious 2 жыл бұрын

The answer is yes. Yes he would

@AnswertheInternet 2 жыл бұрын

😂

@XenoTravis 2 жыл бұрын

The crew was sucking up hard to Tom. So weird they started talking more

@SevenLifee 2 жыл бұрын

They go annoying af lmao

@mteokay1246 2 жыл бұрын

They're getting turned on by the visuals, the pervs!

@mattlandry 2 жыл бұрын

Tom was in the zone for this one

@misterwiakers9292 2 жыл бұрын

Omg this video lol so messed up but funny at the same time

@DRlFTIN 2 жыл бұрын

The production of this web series is an embarrassment to Barstool

@MERKINMERICAN 2 жыл бұрын

What

@82PeRK 2 жыл бұрын

3:08 Holy sht. So im not a freak. I thought i was thee only one that sneezes when light hit my eyes. It does happen everytime but usually on morning.

@pablorios1041 2 жыл бұрын

2min in and im DIYING LAUGING LMAOOOOOO

@janpavel1441 2 жыл бұрын

Tom is the kind of person who isn't satisfied with him succeeding, others must fail too.

@NK-wy8wp 2 жыл бұрын

Amazing

@chrisb7767 2 жыл бұрын

I mean, a lot of spit .... Lmaoo

@matthewlloyd3651 2 жыл бұрын

Watching Segura talk to mystery people off camera is meh.

@stampede4107 2 жыл бұрын

Mystery people who aren’t funny and talk a lot.

@ygkemosabi8280 2 жыл бұрын

@@stampede4107 sometimes they help like with explaining the feet are now small, but they overdue it with thinking they are cool kids

@bonkerzhuntsdemons7993 2 жыл бұрын

I would not kill baby hitler because of the butterfly effect. You don know what would happen because you did that man. One thing about going back in time you can't fuck wit it.

@chadgrov 2 жыл бұрын

60 million people died in WW2 because of that meth head. I think we can chance it

@bonkerzhuntsdemons7993 2 жыл бұрын

@@chadgrov i know im jus saying.

@iambiggus 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah... see the thing with changing history through time travel is the near impossibility to imagine the worst that could happen, so it's a dice roll. But, Hitler was already one of the worst thing that could happen, so any bookie would tell you to roll the f'ing dice.

@bonkerzhuntsdemons7993 2 жыл бұрын

@UCe4q3sdtF81BDm4WT_z3TAA what if more people died because that man. I understand what he did was so wrong but time is not to be fucked with.

@bonkerzhuntsdemons7993 2 жыл бұрын

@@iambiggus well if someone does it we'll see.

@dkacz0512 2 жыл бұрын

So I know he's not a Comedian, but I would love to see Patty the Baddy take a run at these questions 😂

@bigtxbullion 2 жыл бұрын

This is good 👍 dude can make anything funny

@micropenith5284 2 жыл бұрын

i love seeing how truly crazy he is

@stephsaguudefan1753 2 жыл бұрын

Omg I sneeze in sunlight too, and I used to tell my mom that and she thought I was crazy. But I did find out it's a real thing years later. Always good to hear more validation.

@mattygschannel Жыл бұрын

I feel that light induced sneezing, I'm the only person at my work and the other guys just dont understand when ever I walk out of the shop and sneeze almost everytime

@dennis_duran 2 жыл бұрын

Actually good question cards unlike every other knockoff game of this type.

@RobbieFitzgerald 2 жыл бұрын

"So I gotta walk around with little dick feet?!?!" Legitimately spit out my coffee.

@ethangriffith6856 2 жыл бұрын

3:56 I think we got the wrong question 😂

@richrichy2961 2 жыл бұрын

@6:22 “I tried when I was a kid” 🥺

@SPEW2020 2 жыл бұрын

So god damn funny that John has a 15 second outro for a wildly popular channel and he cant even get that right. Perfect KFC radio attitude. Fuck it, close enough