It's really hard to love yourself when no one does.

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ― Mark Twain

When he said “feel like our best is not enough and our worst is too much” that’s literally exactly how I feel

I really needed this today, when you go through failure after failure in relationships, you start to feel like you're just not good enough for a relationship.

I have a coach who recommends saying "I'm working through this" rather than "I'm struggling with this". I find that framing to be really helpful.

I used to think that I could never be in a relationship because guys around me seemed to only want to do intimate things / be casual with me and not be in a relationship with me. I used to wonder what was wrong with me but now I've realized I've just been choosing the wrong guys and I AM worthy of a relationship! I really had to work on my own self confidence before I reached this point

I finally got myself my first man who saw my bad days by day 30 of dating me and still supported and stayed with me. Sometimes length of time doesn't determine the strength of your relationship, only the character of the person does. Same applies for relationships and friendships

“We have to risk someone won’t want us when we reveal that thing” Dam, that hit hard…

"Our best won't be good enough,and our worst will be too much for somebody " As someone who lives with a challenging chronic health condition and unable to feel worthy of love because of it....This sentence sums up what I feel in my heart of hearts!

Our vulnerability can be a bonding factor in a relationship but also can be a weapon for someone to use it against us. So we need be cautious and show our vulnerability wisely..

"What people see upfront might be impressive but when people really get to know me they might find that I'm too much..." THIS this right here. This is the explanation I'm given at every dumping. I can't explain how hurtful it is.

You wont be able to allow someone to value you until you value something about yourself. Realizing you are worthy of love will not only protect you from those who wont value you, but will allow the person who does value you into your heart.

I have a physical disability. And I have been upfront about it. I'm good talking to guys via email, text and phone, but when they finally meet me, it all falls apart. So the "not good enough" feeling comes from my physical self, not from my emotional / intellectual self. I've erased all dating apps, because I see my future laid out for me as being single forever.

"Not everyone is ready for your vulnerability" 👍🏻👍🏻

If you’re honest about you vulnerabilities, make sure it’s not with a Narcissist

3 minutes in and this is so relatable. I've been feeling like this my entire life. I still do because I've been alone for a very very very long time. Thank you for this

Irrespective of your relationship statues,try be the best woman you can be both financial and otherwise.... I am 42 years old single mum living in California I'm hoping to retire at 50 if things keep going well for me. Bought my first house last month and I can't be more proud than I am right now. I am so glad I made good decisions about my finances that changed me forever.

In my opinion a lot of people are not showing their real personality. A lot of people show what they themself want to be or how "man/woman" want them to be. It is not just about flaws and vulnerability. You explained that soo extremely well. If we aren't real about ourself- we won't be able to GET the partner we NEED and that will fit with you and your life. The first thing we need to know is ourselves and this is not as easy as it sounds. Just because we have been along all our life does not mean we know about our characteristics and needs.

Please make a video about how to realize that we are actually the one that's toxic in the relationship. what if I am the one who has all the red flags that I've been trying to identify from other people

I always felt lonely my whole life since childhood and now adulthood. I really wish I never existed sad world to live in.

I normally would say “ if you can’t take me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at all.” That’s just me but Matt hitting the nail on its head once again 💕✨

sadly some of us will never experence what it like to be loved and feel love for another

I'm 24 years and all I've known is rejection and non-reciprocated love

8:34 Thank u so much for these words "If we can accept ourselves for who we are today with all the mistakes, then we can build on that, so we are not coming from a place pf hating ourselves, we're coming from a place of love"

People give up easily on others now a days no matter how they tried to love themselves, I've noticed those who don't care about the feelings of the others are more happier than the ones who always try not to hurt people.

The pain you get when you have to move on with the feeling that you’ll never be good enough for him- even though he’s not even your boyfriend but you have some twisted thing between you and him. I never saw myself watching these videos 😞Thank you so much! So I can makeup my mind to sleep and leave every behind one day.

I'm a guy, and I have a weird fetish for wearing high heels in bed lol. And I have been so FUCKING scared of telling a woman about it as I was afraid she would dump me (oh she might think im gay, transgender, too weird etc.). But then I found a girl with whom I revealed it to and she accepted it. It elevated our relationship beyond next level! So even if you have oddities in your luggage that you fear others will reject, if they are a CENTRAL part of your persona: THROW IT OUT THERE - sooner rather than later. In worse case, you won't waste time on her (or him).

I am 57 years old and I have loved only one person in my life and after eight and a half years they left, they left me to be with someone else. That was 20 years ago and I have closed myself off because I still have that wound of not feeling I’m good enough. I know I’m broken, it’s been so long, that the language of love now seems foreign to me.

@Matthew Hussey my biggest problem is my Asperger's syndrome. My condition is very mild and I hide it to a point but when someone I loved has found out it's either resulted in being friend zoned or worse taken advantage of and abused. This is a vulnerability I have struggled with for a long time. I think this is a video to consider accepting yourself having a hidden disability, being embracing of it and not being afraid of being open about it.

I so needed to hear this, as someone who has not ever been in a relationship, it had me thinking something must be wrong with me. But, really, you need to love yourself first and let others into your life. It's hard but it should be natural!

"The relationship within yourself, with yourself" 💙 - by far the most important and worthwhile relationship to focus on at all times! Thank you, Matt, you're a soothing voice amongst all the external noise out there

I was finally vulnerable to my guy. I told him that sometimes I get depressed. They said they would stay around no matter. One night it happened. I was crying and saying hurtful things. I apologized the next day and said I am working on this and I hope they understood I was lashing out and hurt. I hoped that they could support me through it. They broke up with me that day. A year later they are married with two children. I am afraid of ever being with someone again. I was vulnerable and open with a struggle and they abandoned me because of it. It only took one moment of not being happy and fun to turn them away. They moved on to another so quickly and marriage after knowing someone less than a year after our break. How can I ever trust someone again with my sadness? They can say they will love you know matter what but, when you show that you are human and feel sad sometimes they run.

I appreciate that there's no cliché dramatic background music in this video.

That’s true. No one has more contexts about us than us. I went to school throughout 12 years but eventually, no one stays with me but myself

Meeting differnt guys to spot mr right. Not being attached to anyone, choosing wisely.

Yay highlighted comment! That is golden truth that will stay with me!! I once learned in therapy that acceptance is the key to change and must come first. Rather than feeling like I have to keep striving, doing and trying so hard to change, I actually need to sit with myself exactly as I am, and receive acceptance within myself. THEN change comes sometimes naturally, or I am able to take action to make changes

Anyone else cry throughout this whole video?

I've seen and follow you for YEARS and I had never heard such REVEALING thought as I did in this video. Thanks for this approach, for this path, from the bottom of my heart. I've laughed and learnt with your videos, but today I saw u different. I dont know why. Thanks for amusing, guiding and helping people all over the world.

This video came out just in the nick of time. Ive been GREATLY struggling with this. Thank you💗💗 you're videos have been helping me for YEARS

I really appreciate the "core confidence" phrase over "self love", this resonates with me best. Ty.

You have just touched the most vulnerable part of us so beautifully....felt awestruck.....thank you so much....literally no words left rather than a very big thanks..... lots of love...

This video feels like a comfy fluffy blanket for me to cry on.. thanks Matt..

I really appreciate how brutally honest are you. ❤️ We need people like you in a world full of fantasies

Dear Matthew, I find your latest videos more and more profound. They focuse less on (very good) advices and techniques, and more on deeper thoughts about relationship to ourselves and others which I find very interesting and actually much needed. Food for thought : ) Thank you!

Thank you Matthew, your timing is impressive. I’ve always felt as if I was never enough but, lately, this became more intense than ever and, conversely, I can never seem to think other people are enough. It’s a great opportunity to grow!

Thanks Matthew for your videos. It’s very challenging to want to be seen by others and be that vulnerable when feeling unlovable. We just have to put ourselves out there and hope for the best

This was the highlight of all the videos ive seen @MatthewHussey. You truly add such value and kindness to women's lives (mens too) that brings out the best in all who take it onboard. So thank you so much

Matt this is one of my favourite videos you've done. I've struggled for so long with anxiety and I'm so afraid with being vulnerable with someone about this but this video was SO helpful. Thank you so much! Can't wait to attend your retreat in September x

You have to go through what your feeling and feel it allowing it to be okay accepting yourself and validating your feelings cry scream let it all out and then let go having compassion for yourself by knowing you will be ok ☺️

Thanks for this video, Matt! For me, it's the fact that I'm born and bread in a country my parents migrated to, which results in me being in an inner conflict between two very different cultures and religions, between what I know and am partially expected to carry on from my parents' home and what my reality outside is. I'm not afraid of my personality traits that make me human - I might be a little impatient or definitely a present person, but that's who I am. But I'm afraid I'm either too much for one culture and too less for the other, or vice versa. Just not good enough for either... To be living in that constant inner sub- and conscious debate and conflict makes me close down and hence lose the possibility to be open for the right person to come into my life. Working on it. And I've attended your first virtual retreat - it's been so great, I recommend it to anyone, it's a really special experience.

I needed this thank you, I’ve been feeling so worthless and afraid of opening up to people

Such words of wisdom! I love these types of videos because they provide practical advice not just for your love life but also for life in general.

I really appreciate this soo much....it came at the right time....lets show him some love by liking and sharing..

What's beautiful is watching someone grow and getting to share in their struggles and adventure with using these challenging experiences to grow stronger and in turn, watching the love grow between you as the bond deepens with this space you both hold for each other to be all of who you are and aspire to be. When we realize this, it's easier to share who we are more vulnerably and authentically, trusting that you are both each others champions, and you have each others backs no matter what each is going through. The more I am this for myself, the more I grow. The way we are with ourselves is everything. The kinder we are with ourselves, the more we are here for ourselves, the more beautiful our lives become.

I don't think I ever want a relationship as people are so messed up. People change and aren't as nice as they were when you met them. Their facade slips. I remain the same start to end. My best is good enough, I just want to be treated well 😔 I'm sick of being a victim. Taken advantage of. Giving up on the idea of a relationship saves me heartache, time and money!!!

Matthew Hussey..you are a blessing to the world..

Even after watching I still feel this way. After my divorce in 2013...I just haven't felt worthy of anyone's time or love.

Thanks for mentioning about anxiety and that because I am also working on that too ... It is so common and some look down on it so great that you are mentioning it, thanks so much!!

That definitely applies for people who actually have something positive to share. Some of us at day 3 already has run out of goodness, now imagine at day 300.

Mindful and uplifting, never stop uploading for us Matthew❤

I love that background I feel like Mathew is sitting right across from me 🧡

Such a powerful speech, the world needs more people like you, Matthew

This is like a year’s worth of therapy in 1 video! This video is a gift! Thanks 🙏.

Hi Matthew....this is really good advice for us humans....I had a down day yesterday....but a tool I learnt is 'to speak kindly to myself' so I kept telling myself 'it's ok it will pass' , i also let myself cry shit out and stayed at home!! Love talking about the guts of things with people, but some people don't open up ,and this is hard to help people when this happens.🧚‍♀️

Sometimes I struggle with feeling insignificant to others in life in general...just want to say that my youngest daughter just spoke about me to her friend in a way that helped me see how important I was to her...brought a tear to my eye....we really do put ourselves down sometimes and it can be completely the opposite to what others think of us💛💜🧚‍♀️

I am a man and I love your channel. Even though it’s aimed at women I can totally relate to most of your content. I had been in relationships most of my life but have spent the last 8 months by myself. What I experienced lately is a kind of vicious circle in which I don’t seem to find a compatible person and this, in turn, affects my sense of self-worth, therefore sending me in a downward spiral. Anyone else experienced this?

Absolutely loved this video! Learning how to be vulnerable in an intelligent fashion is something everyone can benefit from. Myself included. Thank you Matthew!

This couldn’t have come at a better time. I held back an insecurity I had early on in the relationship and it back fired. I will be working on my self acceptance 💪

It feels like I have known Matthew for my life now😊 He speaks from his heart ♥️

After 42 years of hard work in both my career and in trying to be the best version of myself and NOT getting anywhere, being stuck with low income and living in a tiny room in a shared house and seeing myself rejected time and timed again after 7 years on dating apps, I can see confidently that some people in this world are born to fail and if there is a god, he is no better than a mean little boy with a magnifying glass who randomly picks on ants to burn or tortures some that he enjoys repeatedly. Nothing worse than lowering your standards constantly in career and in a partner only to find you are still not good enough for either.

Matthew, this is the most important and most accurate video for me I have seen this year. thank you so much.💜

Love this. Saved this so I remember to rewatch. Your videos have so much good stuff packed in I have to watch a few times to get it all ❤️❤️

Im 47 and ive been single for 11 years. I'm odd with relationships because while each one was good, no negativity eventually I got the feeling that I wasnt good enough for them so I broke it off and in the end I didnt feel bad because they ended up finding someone better and they got married and had kids. I look at myself like i'm the successful match making ex lol.

Matthew is one of the most emotionally intelligent people I know! Love your content and the way you bring it to a point😊

I’ve watched a couple of your videos today because I remembered seeing you in a video on Facebook a few years ago, and what I’ve seen had actually been really constructive for me and has given me I guess a new way to look at myself and how I want to pursue my goals and self improvement. I’ve just come out of a 7 year relationship and I’ve heard some things that have made me feel like I’ll be able to when the time is right and when I am ready to go back out and date again and I’ll be a better person when that time comes around. So you’ve earnt the sub from me!!!

Thank you for your words, you’ve literally voiced everything I’ve been struggling with. I didn’t even know how it voice it after the wounds of being hurt by destructive people 🙏

I really like this one. I think I may go back to listen again when I feel like self-loathing mode is attacking… 😂 Thank you Matthew!

Here is Matthew with yet another pearl of wisdom !

Day - um! I will watch this everyday until I do not need to anymore. I sure wish it were possible to afford your retreat . Thank you Matthew, you do such great work!! You are appreciated

Thank you Matthew ! I think I really needed to hear those words. Your videos always helps me to see a different point of view from mine. Much love from Italy 💗.

I’m 20 and I’ve never once received received any attention from any girl my entire life. All I’ve ever wanted is someone to love and receive the same thing but I don’t think it’s in the cards for me in this life. So nah I don’t think I’m not good enough, I know I’m not good enough for love.

It’s funny because I watch all of your videos trying to absorb all and become a better version of myself. I do want something real, but can’t help but think that no matter how hard I tried I just need to accept that maybe for some people love and connection are not meant to be because every time I tried to find someone they just reinforced what I already know and it sucks hahaha

This is so excellent and empowering as I work on self-acceptance...putting an arm around my shoulder about my characterological defenses (Harville Hendrix term...he wrote Getting the Love You Want" and "Finding the Love You Want") and saying, "I am working on this".

this is one hell of a great video, so true. i need to do that more opening up to who I am...my vulnerabilities and let the chips fall where they may......................

I don't feel comfortable with the idea of being loved. I feel I'm not worth it. I always engage in self-sabotage if any chance of love arises. I am my own worst enemy. I hug my duvet at night, so it's not all bad. I'll turn 50 soon, at least I have death to look forward to. 😂 No Serial Killer.

I know that feeling very well. Life is sometimes unbearable. That video was very uplifting and encouraging for me. Thank you.

Matt, your potcast and recent videos are really on point. I enjoy listen to them. Thanks!

Thank you!! I love everything you talked about in this video. Nicely worded!!!

I can't stop crying!! After so much past trauma and years working on myself - one of my best guy friends is asking me out. I've dodged him for almost two years as "bad timing" and he is unbelievably patient and kind. He deserves someone who can show up fully for him! I already know I love him but I can't stop the unlovable feeling deep inside me. And I'm so scared my wounds will hurt him. As I try to sleep tonight and listen to this - I want nothing more than to finally run to him. But I'm so afraid

I'm pretty close to tears after listening to this video. I needed it now so damn badly. Thanks x1000 for posting it.

Dear Matthew it's such a pleasure to watch you speak and thanks for another helpful thought provoking video

Hi Sir ... Everything said is bringing the "Essence You". Person is afraid to show their real self unless they know that they are accepted in totality with +ve and -ve side to them and the power lies that what we fight inside comes out easily when there is no room for "reason "as they are read ,heard which give the insight to winning as they stays . They will always celebrate the Real You and will always find You amazing no matter what others focus on . They will create a good self image by converting -ve to +ve ones . Thanks so much for everything . Stay Blessed and Much Care 🤗💝

I’m about to go on a date. This is a very helpful reminder of something I struggle with a lot. So thanks for the video.

According to one of my college psych courses, perceptions are harder to agree on than morals, etc. We have this idea that people respect those who respect themselves, as if we have complete control of other people’s perceptions. But if that were true, all we’d need to do to be treated well was to behave well ourselves. And we all know that’s not how life works. In fact, some people treat you worse the better you behave because it leaves no justification for their own behavior. So, it’s hard to know what to do when people ask you 300th date questions on the third date, before they have enough context to accept the issue as compassionately as you do. For me, it’s not so much about lacking self-compassion; it’s the realization that other people often lack this quality themselves, which is complicated by the misconception that this statement of fact (as I see it) is a sign of insecurity (i.e., they think I believe that I’m unlovable, when I really believe that many people aren’t very loving). I want to be honest with people. I feel I owe myself that. Anything less than honesty is a denial-a betrayal, even-of who you are. But most people seem to have a narrow view of “normal,” a shallow view of “deep,” and a weak view of “vulnerable.” It seems immature to dump the responsibility on someone else, but I really feel that this is more the receiver’s problem. I’ve been “compassion-covering” since I was a child. I’m the kind of person who averts her eyes when you’re parallel parking to give you some privacy. The people who’ve reciprocated this quality for me have been too few. Seriously, where are all the hot, smart, kind, straight, single guys, guys??? I only have one precious life to live and I can’t hold back time. My heart breaks for people like me. It really does. I mean, I’ll live a rich, full life regardless of who’s in it, but wouldn’t it be nice to share it with someone who really gets you and loves you, faithfully and unconditionally, till the end? If that’s you, I totally feel you. Finding people like this shouldn’t be this hard.

This week's video is so fantastic, Matthew! 🌹

OMG! This is my favourite video of Matthew so far, and I've watched so maaaany! I'm a huge fan of him! I agree entirely that the right person will help atenuate our shadows, and enhance our light. I consider myself the luckiest woman on Earth, because I've found someone I can open myself with, and with whom I feel like my best and true version.

Paraphrasing Buddhist quote: the fool blames others. The student blames themselves. The master blames no one :) Exactly give yourself same understanding as others and mistakes become forgivable.

"We have to risk not being accepted." Wow.

Well said. Needed this today. Thank you for your energy. Feeling renewed & hopeful after listening.