This man is now level 2 IFS trained. I was also unburden from another major issue, the death of my mom when I was 15...this was done in another demo with Dick Schwartz in 2021. The model is powerful. Thanks for watching.

Thank you for generously allowing us to learn from your journey. Onward and upward!

I am a counsellor, learning to practice IFS, and this really helped me to conceptualize the process around polarities. You made it very easy. Thank you so much for sharing.@@tycutner

⁠@@contempl8ivemy pleasure. This demo was my very first IFS session, back in 2018. I’m level 2 trained in the model now. The best way to practice is with your own parts work. You’ll learn a lot faster and be effective because it’s an inside out model.

​@@tycutner thank you so much for making your session public, I can totally relate to how you described your parts

It was a victory. Now 4 years later and IFS trained myself I have a very loving relationship with my parts. I see them all as younger versions of myself. They may play tug of war sometimes but they realize that they're all on the same team...or more accurately all apart of the same internal family. Thanks for watching.

Thank you for sharing that Johnny. The great thing about IFS is it helps us develop a more loving relationship with ourselves (our parts). I've recently spent some time with some of my firefighters, after the session...I appreciate those parts so much more.

I'm now Level 2 trained and working with my own clients. Still new to it, maybe 3 dozen sessions under my belt. I've noticed some systems have strong protectors. The client doesn't see it as protectors but they're unable, unwilling or uncomfortable moving Parts that don't trust them yet. Taking it slow and guiding them to develop that trust will help them get better at it. It could take several sessions. Luckily for me my parts trusted me, they knew nothing bad can or will happen especially if we keep it to "safe" topics.

It looks too easy, and his affect is so flat, I wonder if he's really "doing it" so to speak

@@ChannelMathread his comment above, he himself has now become a facilitator. He’s not faking it. He has an open imagination and that is why he has facility with this process. It’s part of why his “lazy” side was so stubborn, so to speak, because his strong imagination needed time to be, to be free, imagine and play. These sound like silly terms for an adult, but creative people require periods of time to be in certain states of mind, illogical and not analytic. His time with his son let’s him do that, his son facilitates his imaginative, right brain. ❤. If he has suffered trauma in his life, which he probably has if he’s getting therapies, there may be a part of him that was scolded down, he may not feel free to be expressive. He is also new to the situation and was asked by someone to participate. He may have been under pressure. It’s really hard for therapists to get anyone to publish their own inner mental anguish on the world stage.

@@tycutnerthank you for doing the demo. We have a lot in common but my “lazy” side’s reasons were a little different. I found the similarity in how we felt things fascinating.

I’ll speak to some of that trauma @tentenj My mom died when I was 15 after of years of being sick with AIDS. At 12/13 I realized I needed to step up to take care of things in the house. I was the oldest with a younger sister. That’s when my self-sufficient and figure-it-out parts came online. My childhood ended for those (worker) parts. Yet there were still kid parts that like to play and have fun. My leisure parts. There’s a second session with Dr. Schwartz and I where the 15 year old part was unburdened from the lost of my mom. That was back in 2021. I contributed to an IFS book coming out next month (October) that dives into my external family history.

I’m training with the IFS Institute. I’ve heard great things about Derek Scott’s Stepping Stones training also!

So amazing you were able to work with Derek Scott. He was absolutely amazing

Thank you Joyce.

I'm happy to see how much this demo has help others. I have continued to benefit from IFS. In the 4 years since this demo was recorded, I've achieved Level 2 IFS training, had an exile unburdened in another demo with Dr. Schwartz and now use IFS in the various audiences I serve. Thanks for watching.

Wow, @@tycutner, that's exciting! Good on you. Thx for the reply and the update. Kind regards...

@@tycutner wow! Congratulations! Do you have a link to the exile unburdening video?

"y'all" -- I see what you did there ;-)

The additional facet of having the practitioner as a witness - and a guide for anything more severe that may come up - is priceless ❤

We do have the answers inside of us. Just like the body can heal itself, so can our mind. Since this demo I've discovered more about the relationship of these parts. In fact in a recent session I realized the leisure part is very young while the worker part is slightly older but also young (teenage vs elementary school age). Introducing those very young parts to me of today was a shock to them. They didn't realize I have gray hair "like grandpa" and that I can drive a car etc. Once I updated them I now have more focus to complete big projects.

The one thing that really helped my parts in this session was realizing they had similar goals. Once they realized we're all on the same team it give them the desire to solve the issue instead of simply getting their way.

Thank you for watching. I'm happy so many have gained value from this. When I did it 4 years ago I didn't think much of it. Now IFS trained myself, this has become a resource for me to improve my skills.

I totally agree. This was my very first IFS session. I will be presenting at the 2023 IFS conference with something truly amazing for the IFS community. This model help me unlock parts in ways I didn’t believe possible. Now I’m bringing the power of IFS out of the therapy setting so it’s more accessible. Stay tuned.

It’s amazing how these parts work together after realizing they’re on the same team. The leisure parts are elementary school age and the worker parts are high school age. Now that they realize me (Self) they play together in leisure and work. It’s a beautiful thing.

Yes, I have met the exiles. There are a few younger parts that the worker part feels he's responsible for because he's older. Before my mom passed there were times I couldn't rely on her. "We can't get sent back to our grandpa or we'll be bored to death alone in the living room." is their fear. At grandpa's we can't be ourselves. The leisure parts are even younger, they know the worker part is only a little bit older. In a way they're protecting my childhood because it ended too soon. I unburden the 15 year old exile in another demo with Dick Schwartz.

@@tycutner Thank you for being willing to share your process, it is invaluable for many of us. For instruction, and as example of how to be a good human doing a great job and being courageous to take the next step. Best wishes!

To that part being a bus driver was mind numbing and lacked quality social interactions. We hated the job but was too lazy to make a change according to that part. In an IFS session curiosity towards a part is how we know Self is present. However, if we allow our parts to share their opinions (it's an important role, etc) you may be met with parts that jump out to defend their position.

@@tycutner yes, I thought that after making my comment, I was blending with my judgemental part :)

@@tycutner I work as a dog walker - my mum used to always say - "When are you going to get a proper job?" 😊

So, what Part is keeping you from finding the other Parts?

I would also suggest to him that he and his son SHARE the idea that they have these inner drivers , or drives , and talk about motivation energizers together , as a shared "Father" figure , or chain of command format . I think that they both might bring great perspectives to the table from their different ages , at nine and 30 - I am guessing the young man is about 30 . Build on this experience - it is so healthy and healing .

Being a bus driver was not in alignment with our talents and skills. During my second IFS session with Dr. Schwartz 3 years after this demo, we unburdened a 15 year old part who's biggest fear was "We won't reach our full potential in life". Being a bus driver was a nightmare to parts who had those fears. The reason the parts had those fears is, when I was 15 my mom passed away. She made me believe that I was special with great potential. We didn't have anyone to guide me towards greatness after she passed...somewhere along the way I was wasting my life away as a bus driver.

@@tycutner It's so insightful and valuable to me to see your session AND read all your comments here. Our lives are superficially very different, but inside I'm just like you! Thank you so much, you've done a great service

Thank you for saying that. There is a lot that has happened since this session. I lot has happened since my last comment on this video. I’m working on something very special for the IFS community and humanity. Like you said, we’re superficially different but we both have parts and a Self…so we’re the same. What works for me and my parts will work for you and yours. Being Self-led is AMAZING! I’m going to show the world how to do it, after therapy. Stay tuned.

@@tycutner I am listening to a talk now about mimatics , a teacher talking about the work of Rene Girard . - the youtube lecture is " Introduction to Rene Girard's Mimetic Theory " / I am listening to this on the back of listening to a lot of Keith Cunningham , a man who teaches business principles . As you observe your place in society , and strive to reach your goals , it is always good to listen to people who did a lot of serious thinking . I highly recommend these two thinkers as important , not just at a personal level , but at a global humanity level . - Blessings on your growth - and on mind too !

Yeah really interesting. Would love to know your findings as well

There is usually an exile and there is one here however progress can take place without getting to the unburdening of an exile. This was my very first session, first time meeting Dick so there were protectors up (didn't know or understand that then). But the greatness that happened here was the relationship that was established between the parts. They witness a solution being put in place, that was huge for my entire system.

@@tycutner wow! thank you, that explains a lot! Very informative and helpful

All protective parts must be willing and open for the unburdening of an exile. That can’t happen while protectors are polarized. Depolarizing the inner system for the exile to return to is typically the flow of it. Imagine unburdening an exile and bringing it back to an inner civil war

How can I help?

Being a bus driver wasn’t considered lazy. Staying/remaining a bus driver when I hated the job was considered lazy to some parts.