It was 1992 and I was recently out of college and living at home (thank you mom and dad) and making a very feeble (in hindsight) attempt at being in an all-original band. We definitely liked Helmet.
To earn money, I did a lot of temping. One awful assignment had me doing data entry for an insurance company. Six weeks of hell and the only good thing was the really nice supervisor. He mentioned the day before the job ended that he was heading to Atlantic City that weekend to try out for Wheel of Fortune. Now, anyone who has sat with me through an episode of W.O.F. knows that I am very good with those puzzles. So, I made sure to hit Merv Griffin’s casino and take my shot.
The first “round” was a quiz of 6-7 puzzles where you’d see the blanks (like hangman) and some letters filled in, along with a category. If you scored perfect on that, you could come back at the end of the day for a 15-phrase test. I aced that one and got invited to return another day for more in depth screening!
The second round was wild. There were about 80 of us in this large conference/meeting room, with a small mock stage and a vertically aligned wheel designed to imitate the gameplay. People were brought up in groups of three to pretend to play. They told us that they wanted to see lots of happiness and energy, and I managed to suppress my cynical sarcastic nature and pretended to be the perfect clean cut American kid. Through the afternoon, they would “call back” a smaller and smaller group to keep playing. They reached their desired number. I made the cut.
They told me that sometime within the next year, I would get the call to come out to Burbank and tape the show. It was a sweet moment for sure, but I had no idea when it was really going to happen. I went back to life and started substitute teaching among other things. You’ll hear me mention it on the show.
Sometime in the Spring of 1993 I got the call. Again, thank you mom and dad for flying us out to L.A., as I really could not have afforded it on my own!
Once we got to the studio, they sequestered me immediately. Contestants could not have any contact with the outside world. I signed a simple contract with Merv Griffin Enterprises for one day’s work (I think the base pay was the parting gifts). Then I was taken to a room reserved for that day’s contestants. At one point we were taken out to the taping area to do promotional spots for our respective markets. Basically, you would say “Hi I’m Chris Hewitt from Middletown New Jersey. Watch me on Wheel of Fortune!” The thing is, I was so nervous that I could not stop my lip from quivering, and they ended up saying “It’s ok, don’t worry about it” and didn’t do a promo spot for me at all.
The show tapes a full week in one afternoon. So, including alternates who were there in case a contestant got sick, there were about 12-13 of us (this was when the big winner would return the next “day”) and I was in the last group chosen. To my dismay, I got stuck in third place and did not even get a shot at the first puzzle.
Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnd then there’s the second puzzle. It’s hard to describe the feeling of having $7000 in your bank and knowing the solution and watching the woman next you (who by the way had already won like $40K) keep spinning and winning. And then the $7000 was gone. As were my hopes of emerging with any dignity.
But along came puzzle three. Thank goodness I watched Carol Burnett as a child in the 70's. And I must admit I did not play this puzzle particularly well (WHY DID I NOT ASK FOR AN H????) - I was at that point in equal parts panic and despair. I had gotten screwed HARD on puzzle two. The game was half over and if I fucked this one up would I get any other chance? How was I going to face the world if I came out penniless on the national stage? But, I am eternally thankful to say, I won a puzzle! I solved it early, I could have spun again and probably won some more money, but I had gotten royally screwed once already. I did not take any chance. But yeah, I really wish I’d asked for an H.
Poor Mazie. She and I had actually become pals as we watched many other contestants get picked to play. So it really sucked that she had a terrible bout of stage fright right before we started taping. It was touch-and-go for a bit, Pat was actually coaching her along during the commercial breaks, encouraging and helping her calm down. Meanwhile the wheel was doing her no favors. But in the end, everyone came out victorious :)
By the way, the parting gifts included Centrum, some STP car product, Wishbone salad dressing, and a very large box of sample-size Jergens lotions. And I actually received a second round of those gifts several years later because the episode had aired again somewhere. Hilarious.