If you can’t read, you can’t get rejected.

That isn’t a coworker. Those are three kids in a trenchcoat.

0:14 "Remember when I said I'd die ont that hill" - Bastard, 2024

That was painful; emotionally, grammatically and physically. And I still don't understand 80% of what they were trying to communicate.

Bastard: "Remember when I said I'd die on that hill" Probably one of the funniest cryptic out of context messages I've ever seen

He’s 40 and this pressed over a 22 yr old not responding to him being an absolute creep. It’s pathetic as hell.

he’s the type to salute to his boss & say “SIR YES SIR!”

3:30 there’s nothing better than someone calling someone else an idiot but using “your” instead of “you’re” 😭

How un-self aware do you have to be to say "You honestly creep me out" without realizing that you're the creep.

"Are bartending for fun?" "You are bartending for fun?" "F U" is comedic gold. I mean you can't even feel insulted The only viable social response is cackling laughter.

We don’t claim him as a Marine

The "no bitches" meme sold it haha

His illiteracy all makes sense when you find out he's a Marine, dude's on crayon withdrawals.

"This is family! This is blood, sweat and tears!" It's bartending. Take a walk

“This is family!, This is blood!, Sweat and tears!” *I just pictured an American flag behind this guy when reading that* 😂😂

The part where he starts talking about sharing a video of the co-worker doing drugs to the VP of USAA had me DYING💀😂

"You are bartending for fun?" "Fuck you" 😂😂got me dying

"You have no bartending experience" Bro shes 22, she wasnt even legally allowed to be in a bar til last year...

The best part was when John came in that genuinely made me cry like Johns one of the most well developed characters in fiction man

This guy types like he's 3 kids in a trenchcoat all fighting for the phone to text this girl

The "i served my stepfather well" for a 40 year old man to be thinking in the first place let alone typing out and hitting send, is the most self infantilizing insecure shit ive ever heard.

Judging by how he talks about “serving his step-father” and how he talks about “our restaurant” and “family” and constantly mentions “him” or “he” with no context, I think his stepdad is actually the owner of the work place/ restaurant.

My take on this is that it's a family restaurant and his step-dad is the owner. That's why he's taking things so seriously, but also because he's an ex-marine and they're not always the most stable when they've endured trauma or other reasons. USAA is also insurance, so he's probably wanting to, like, somehow cover the restaurant from liability by proving this employee is under the influence.

Dude your commentary fits my daily internal dialogue. I absolutely love watching you go through and attempt to make sense of all this 😂

A wise man once said “I can read minds. Unfortunately, I’m illiterate”

0:35 I'm sorry the "remember when I said I'd die on that hill" from a guy named Bastard with absolutely no context is just hilarious

What happens when you keep clicking the recommended words above the keyboard

these are my favorite type of videos from you please never stop

The delivery of "R u done harassing me?" Right after that long ass monologue made me burst out laughing so hard 😂😂

Amazing how many of these weirdos end up just having a full on conversation with themselves.

Never stop posting this style video I love them

I read the title as "literal creep".... the irony is palpable

"you are, what, 22? and you act like you're fifteen" and you are, what, 40? and you act like you're six

My cousin sent one of my best friends a message from my phone telling him I liked him. I love the guy platonically, but a part of me is haunted knowing that "sorry, my cousin took my phone" will NEVER be believed, even though that's what happened

I've missed these creepy weirdo videos I started watching the channel with these and I think I'm addicted but I've run out so this was really awesome to get another one!

Thank god my prayers have been answered because I was actually re binging this series

How can someone be 40 years old and still be Illiterate 💀

14:42 “This was a loose cannon.” No Charlie, he’s a luce fly! Get it right!

Charlie you didn't hear it but when you asked "who is Joe?" I've got you good

truly all elementary/middle school insults. "I know you are but what am I?"

Remember if you send crazy messages to a girl, she won’t be the only one reading it. It’ll be all her friends, and possibly Charlie at some point on his channel. Fr I know she was laughing about at least some of this, as scary as it can be, most women receive unhinged messages at some point in their life ESPECIALLY if you do online dating. All we can do is laugh at some of the lunacy :’) or we’ll just cry

His text messages were like decoding the zodiac killer’s letters

Please do more of these Charlie. Thank you. You give me the best laughs

finally thank you for this been waiting for this type video again

Charlie is probably the only creator on KZfaq that alternates between reviewing terrible movies, playing games, and dating psychology in such an interesting manner

i completely lost it at "i served my step father proud" LMAOOOOOO

i love these types of videos! please bring on more!!

Contacting someone in the middle of the night, asking to hook up and then giving a proverbial thumbs-down when the answer is no. This guy's basically the real-life, less literate and more unhinged version of Roman in GTA IV.

"in the Marines" Ah, the illiteracy makes sense now.

He texts like he goes grocery shopping in the arts and crafts section

Haha these texting vids never get old, Charlie. This one did hurt my brain a little.

Love these kind of videos

This reminds me of a guy I dealt with for the past couple of months. We started off as good friends but he wanted something more. I wasn’t attracted to him mainly personality wise because he was extremely rude and toxic to my other friends, so I eventually had to put my foot down and told him he was crossing the line…3 times. Last month he sent me 9 paragraphs complaining about how my friends were treating him and completely denied that he still had feelings for me, then he ended with “you need to start treating me better.” 30 minutes later he ended up saying he meant to send those texts to an old friend (even though he mentioned specifics related to me). I never responded and have continued to ignore him. Hoping I don’t run into him this coming fall semester, or that he doesn’t hunt me down 🤞

7:31 his galaxy brain is so powerful it changed the color of the lights at a mere mention of it's power

Charlie, i cracked at the audible gasp of the banker. Thank you

Please keep these coming

My favorite type of vid ngl

"Yes my friend..." my guy typing like an old mysterious villian is not gonna help you out, you lost your game

Buddy must’ve ate a lot of crayons in the Marines

Escalating when someone doesn't reply, reeks insecure

Bro has negative rizz 💀

“Today we’re talking about text messages from an unhinged weirdo'' said charlie 1000 times

These will forever be my favourite Charlie vids

As a Marine, I disown, disavow, and delegitamize this poseur. I seriously doubt this dude ever made it to boot, let alone up the Reaper. 🤷‍♂️

slithering on the floor type creep.

That guy sounds life threatenly drunk.

Ahh my favorite type of video

I really love these text messages series!!!😊

About the Luce fly, there is such a thing called a Louse fly? A parasitic blood sucking fly I believe and, no doubt from his other texts, he just couldn't spell something with more than 4 letters in it.

Stuff like this is why I love my alone time. Coworkers and old friends always ask me why I'm such a hermit - well after dealing with a couple of really weird and unhinged people you learn quickly how valuable alone time is. Especially if you have a limited amount of free time.

Just when I thought it was over, it kept going.

7:05 Charlie namedrops Finnegans Wake. Charlie litbro era soon??

Reading this reminds me of that Billy Madison scene where the game show host said “everyone in this room is now dumber for listening to it. I award you no points. May God have mercy on your soul.” 😂

This reminds me of that Simpson meme when Ralph fails English and says “Me fail English? That’s onpossible.”

This creep's texts are making me also illiterate. Bruh my brain hurts.

Feed us more bud! We love this stuff

I always feel so bad for the people that have to deal with these creeps.

"Served my country and my stepfather well" 😂😂😂😂😭 why is that so funny to me 😭😭😭

I wish charlies videos like this never ended😂 get way to invested in where these npc’s are trying to go

"Let me out it this way" had me cracking the fuck up😂😂

And this is why as active duty Marines, we call them “Weekend Warriors” “Semper Sometimes”

they're perfect for eachother

charlie having a stroke trying to read these messages is so funny to me

a 40 year old trying to get with a 22 year old is foul 💀💀

Did he read a article about how to pull women in "5 simple steps!" And when that failed, he just resorted to harassment?

this is the funniest video i’ve seen in a while omg

truly the quality content i expect from a channel with 15 million subs. yall really do just be consuming SLOP

“I can read minds. Unfortunately I’m illiterate.” ~Mitch Hedberg

I'm also dealing with this, but by someone else. He keeps contacting me after I ghosted him. The reason was because I told him straight up I don't feel the same way but he kept pressuring me to date him and then he gets disrespectful as retaliation. I told him I need to hang up, but he kept begging me to stay on the phone or he kept talking. I left the phone there while laughing as he thought I was crying. I blocked his number and saw he was still contacting me.

Omg I saw this one on Reddit! The dude just ends up talking to himself for the most of it

10:57 I don't think the problem is with him having pride in his work, I think it's just boomer energy of "you can't have fun at work" (which is so dumb btw 😆)

love when the guys thinks that they’re being “cool” and it just falls on its face

As a non native English speaker, reading his text made me question my English ability. and he is 40yo? chatting like a butthurt teenager. wth with that "served step father well" LMAO

I hope Charlie never stops making these

Are bartending FOR FUN?!?! (eyes twitching, popping out of their sockets, face turning red, and is about to explode) 😂 😂😂

Charles how dare uoj, you basic Lucie fly

Never seen projection so many times and clear as day.

Days when we don't have unsend or permanently delete message. Send something stupid then few minutes later say suppose to send someone else.

“That doesn’t clear up the confusion with the statement”😂😂😂

I'm actually crying laughing at the way *you* read that one section of the text messages " Everyone...? " " _yeah_ " " Are bartending... *FOR FUN* ? " " You are *BARTENDING* for *FUN* !? " " *FHUCK YOUU* ! " xD