I appreciate the vulnerability you showed there. I been dealing with depression since I was younger and also had multiple attempts. Every day is still a struggle but I'm a si gle father of two and I know I have to be strong for them. I appreciate all the laughs you give it helps a lot.

Hearing you say “my husband” is fucking heartwarming dude. So glad you’ve been finding happiness and success. You deserve it all

As somebody who's battled depression and anxiety for all of their life, I get you, and I'm glad you're here as well. Take care Madi.

Being grateful you are still alive is a HUGE milestone! That's such a big accomplishment and just weird feeling that sense of realization and relief(?). It's refreshing and encouraging for me and for others when you share about your depression because so many suffer with it. Seeing someone made it to that pivotal stage of happy you're still alive, shows so many it's possible to survive that sh-t. So thank you so much Kruz!

Love ya, Kruz. Thanks for always being so open, especially with the difficult topics. The story of Dadzadar joining the Quake game is great gaming must run in the family

I'm only 5 minutes in and we're already in tears. This is gonna be a rough one boys

We are all proud of what you’ve overcome and how far you’ve come. Thank you for striving so hard to put content out for us💕

You have been a great support for several of us stinkies through the years, I have been following you for almost 4 years now and just having your streams too hang out in has helped through some really tough times. Feels good to know that we also give at least some of that back as well.

I'm so glad you're still here. I dealt with depression and anxiety pretty much all my life. I've never attempted but had those thoughts more times than I can count. Your videos and streams help me forget all of that sometimes just as you have used it to escape from things yourself. I had a toxic partner as well about 3 years ago. She did actually leave so I've been learning how to be single again. It gets rough but like you said sometimes its okay to not be okay.☺

Appreciate you sharing everything with us, we love you!

I love the eye makeup you got going kruz

I'm older than you, gone through some shit myself, and I look up to you as a gamer, a woman and a human being. You can be proud of were you are, you deserve it.

Kruz, thank you. I've become a fan of yours because you talk to us like actual people, you're open and real about life. Your personality and humor is contagious, you've done so much for your community. PLUS, you're legit the only streamer I've come across who is honest about the "role model" topic. THANK YOU. It's reassuring to know someone else feels the same way as I do about that whole industry and its terrible effects. I relate to your "achievement story". I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. I debated the same question. In the end, I realized that if I went through with it, he would walk away and everyone in my life would be hurt; versus if I risked being hurt when leaving (stats don't lie), there would still be a chance at happiness. I'm so proud of you, me, and everyone else who escaped that situation. 💜 I am now dating an angel of a man, who is gentle and understanding of my traumas, and I thank my past self everyday that I stuck around to experience this man's love. I hope that one day I can call him Husband. I'm so happy you've found your safe person, you deserve to feel loved and valued. I'm glad I found you through others in the group, and I'm grateful you're still here.

Kruz, we love you. Just your content alone has been a huge help for me and lots of others, even if it's just a distraction and tons of laughs. I know what it's like to have depression; it eats you up, and it's obviously different from person to person, but I know a lot of people have tried to end it all simply because of overthinking and depression. I've been there too, and I know it's rough. I'd love to know what we could do to support you further; I feel like you deserve it at this point. Thank you for all the laughs and giggles. ♥ Edit: Hope this isn't "too real" for a youtube comment lol.

I really like how u called out how certain content creators are using gamers to fuel their porn careers. It’s disgusting, and it breeds more porn addicts.

Kruz, I love how you were more open than normal, we got to see a different side of you, but I also understand not wanting to talk about the bad stuff, so good job making it through life

Confirmed kruz is really short, extra extra small would be to large😂

Speaking of dungeons and dragons it would be awesome to see you as a guest on critical role !:)

Prolly gonna get drowned out but Kruz has been a good comfort channel for me. I've had alot of stress recently and the vids always help when its particularly bad. Love the channel and always fun to watch when mental gets bad.

1. Glad my question got answered, didn't expect elf tbh. 2. Hearing you open up about things always makes me feel nice and I really hope to get to that place in life. Makes me want a hug.

This is the closest thing to watching my parents be vulnerable so thank you for being you you absolute legend. Thanks for fighting to stay alive and fighting to be yourself your the reason I could giggle and smile on days when I had no personal strength

One of those people who got into watching streams back in 2020 due to covid. I have watched you only for a year before trying to watch other streamers. But I can't help but be always excited and happy whenever there's news or you just share things with us like getting a new puppy or you getting married. Always happy and proud on what youve become and what you've given us, joy, laughter and a bunch of things ❤❤

Shout out to you Kruz!!! Happy you’re happy with the place you’re in!! You deserve that

I’ve never wanted to reach through the screen and hug someone so much. Kruz, you are amazing and an inspiration!! Why do you think we all keep hanging around and letting you stealing our moms?!

You make me laugh a lot, but I've continued to watch you mainly because I agree with you on so many things.

16:57 thank you definitely needed to hear it. Also you got imagine dragons stuck in my head afterward(it's Okay). Thank you for also showing genuine venerability. I appreciate all the wisdom you shared as well! thank you for the amazing community and amazing content Kruz!!!

Love the content keep it up. I just want to say don’t let ppl get under your skin you got this shit girl I believe you Kruz

Thank you for some of the struggles and bad times you’ve had over the years. I think even though we may not want to talk about it but sometimes letting people hear those experiences can help them get through their own bad times. Also I appreciate you talking about wanting to be a good example for the female streamers. As someone who is dealing with a p*rn addiction and trying to get out of that I appreciate you being an advocate for females to not do adult contact. I wish there were more people in the industry that would be more open about that. Keep up the good work.

As a nobody i volunteer as a mandalorian guardian to protect our female and male streamers fellow streamers protect our streamers

the thing i hate about OF becoming so prevalent for female content creators to have is like any time I see a female content creator clip on tiktok or something there's an uncomfortable amount of people asking for her OF link, and I feel bad for the ones who are like "No there's no link, I don't do that" because the people just reply with "oh well you should, you'd make a ton of money and become super popular" or something similar. It's annoying that for some reason that's become such a common question now. It just feels like over the past few years everything has to have a sexual aspect to it now and I don't like it. There's a time and place for everything, and Twitch, KZfaq, and TikTok are *not* the places for sexualized content. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

I love how well you speak about your dreams of being a creator and your opinion on the more popular ones. It sucks though that the internet is in a state where a lot of people will use your words against you. I've seen that happen to a few other creators who speak against the big dogs. Let's hope you can change that! I hope you stay true to your heart, best of luck!

I'm so glad you are in such a safe place in life now. We are so grateful to YOU that you are still here. You are the highlight of our day, whether live or just re-watching old videos. We stinkies love you so much.

We all really cherish you kruz and your such a beautiful soul you really do deserve the world ❤

bro is making me cry stooooop

Hey Kruz, just wanted to drop in a say your content has really helped me get thru some of my crappy days and I’m glad you’re still with us. I totally understand where you’re coming from, I also feel depressed a good bit of my time due to my job as a CO at a prison, but watching your content makes my days better and being apart of your community makes me not feel so alone, so thank you for that. I appreciate you and your community. Keep up the good work Kruz and thank you again.

found you through chilled during the the first purge with the chicken farm glad your doing great

Hearing you talk about your past trauma and depression really took me back to when I was going through mental health issues also. It's never easy but we manage with the things we love. I just wanna thank you for being here with us after all that especially during my struggles. You really got me through some of it and I appreciate you so much for it.

Kruz, you are beautiful outside but more importantly on the inside. I cried right along with you. I am so glad you're still here.

We love you Kruz! I'm super glad you're still here too.

Hi Kruz! Thank you so much for this video! I started watching your content in 2020 and I am so happy to see how far you’ve come! The role of content creator can be really challenging and I am sorry for all you faced during your early years. You are so strong and your stories and wisdom really inspire me to work towards a better future for myself. Thank you so so much!

Kruz may be short, but by GOD her heart is a big as the universe, where all here for you Kruz, I know Dean will be looking down now and would be SO proud of you of how far you’ve come, keep up with the amazing content, we will all keep on supporting you till the very end

Rlly appreciate you sharing things with us! Also thanks to this vid im gonna try out DND online

Kruz, thank you for being real. Your content has helped significantly with my our mental health. If I ever need something to get my mind off the bad things I am still, at times, really struggling with, it’s almost instinctual for me to just pull up one of your videos or VODs and try and temporarily forget things until I feel better. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate you 🙌🏼🙌🏼

I really connected with how open you were at the beginning. Really puts into perspective that all of us go through simular things. I'm really glad you stuck it through the bad shit, to get to how good things are now 😊

Apreciate you being open with that stuff. Its not silly whatsoever.

Hey Kruz I’m very grateful that you talked about your past thoughts of suicide because of other factors I’ve gone to get help with all aspects of my mental health and including dealing with my suicide. It’s something that should be ignored and for those suffering in silence there is help out there and don’t hesitate to reach out to the help lines in your area. Also remember you’re not alone because I felt that way and realising that I’m not alone and other people felt the same way I did at times made me feel a bit better and less ashamed.

Kruz every bad memory and difficulty we face in life makes us stronger when we overcome them, no matter how painful or severe they may be. If you manage to endure and overcome them, you always emerge stronger. I myself had to deal with depression and many similar problems in my childhood, and if you have come this far in your life and can talk about it so openly, it shows strength. I can only say you can be proud of yourself and what you have achieved. Never forget that every tough situation in life is only temporary pain that makes us stronger after overcoming it and shapes who we are.

We are so happy that you are here Kruz! As someone that struggles with the same thoughts I am so happy that you are still here. Everyday can be a battle but everyday you wake up, get out of bed, and get dressed is a win! We love and appreciate you so so much!

Happy you've stuck around Kruz

Maaaaannn 5mins in, and I'm tearing up. You're amazing 👏🏻

I loved this video! It was so real, and I love how you talked about some real life stuff. You definitely made me tear up for sure, and I want you to know that your stinkies will always be here! Your content is AMAZING! I hate that people suck and told you to do bad things while you were going through a rough time. I am glad that you had the tenacity to continue! I am so glad to be a stinky, and will always be a stinky!

You’re such a gem Kruz! I’m glad you’re here. ❤

Last year was the first time ever in my life I had contemplated ending it all. It was by far the scariest and lowest point in my whole life and I never wish that pain and emptiness on anyone. I respect how open and vulnerable you are as that shit is hard to talk about. I am glad we both decided to stick around ❤

Thank you for being open to sharing about difficult topics. It makes a world of difference to those who feel like they're alone in their pain.

Ty for doig this vid as for myself it really let me know who you are. I know I don't talk a lot in disc or on stream but i really do have funn when I watch you. also I truly hope the worst of life is behind you and although there will be bumps hopefully just bumps. You are a one of a kind person and deserve all the love, good food, and puppy playtimes anyone of your awesome stature deserves. P.S. Also I agree with less O.F. Peeps and more just streaming to have fun.

Didn’t expect to cry at 3 am but it was nice. Thank you Kruz for being yourself and bringing the entertainment to us all.. ❤

I'm glad you decided not to end your own life. I've had multiple occasions where I considered it and struggled a lot of my life with depression. I believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It's temporary. Godspeed.

Ayo kruz tearing up 😂absolutely legendary I can finally say I watched my mom's baby daddy cry 😂 fr tho your a legend keep up the legendary work

Kruz we love you an glad you are strong on getting threw your stuff an doing what a boss does an being badass , also also you gaming with Narrator an the streaming group with chilled keep it up

As someone who’s been dealing with depression a lot of “bad” thoughts none of it sounds silly. It’s real. And as someone who watches you and you group of content creator friends as an escape sometimes expressing that others go through similar stuff makes it easier to deal with IMO. Thanks for being real it’s one of the many reasons you entertaining asf

love you kruz, i was in that spot for so long through highschool and your channel was a big part of me getting through those thoughts and hard times 🤎

Thank you for all that you do for us Kruz, keep up the great work!

You're such a gem Kruz, We're always here for you.

We're grateful for you too Kruz❤✌️

5 minutes in and she's already got me tearing up dammit. Love ya Kruz

we are all here for you i went thru a similar thing and can relate. thanks for opening up to your community we are all here for everyone in the Kruzadar Army

You should do one of those tier list things for your game list it would be a fun video

I'm so very sorry for the shit you had to go through. I hate it and I know PTSD. I know how it's BOOM and you're back there. I wanted to make a joke but you wouldn't get it, it would go over your head, shorty. :P

Absolutely glad you are here Kruz, I've had reoccurring thoughts of permanent bye-bye growing up and I will say showing your videos to my partner and having just general life with my baby sister (both people I would have never met if I had been successful in my attempts). You've been a beam of happiness and humor even now when things start to vere towards the bad days again. Love you tons 💗 .....just stay away from my mom please lol

Kruz your content makes me laugh even when times are rough, all good things you deserve it 😊

Kruz almost made me cry when she teared up 😢 closest thing to my dad saying he proud of me I'll take it crying and all cause it made me tear up😂

Love ya Kruz :3 especially with the stuff at 4:31 I have had similar moments feeling grateful to have not done something like that in the past. Edit: I would give you a hug rn but I am an online goober, sending love to you!

I genuinely love the way you are with your content. I continue to watch your content because you didn't go down the rabbit hole of the NSFW route.❤

Kruz can i say i am so damn glad you chose life cause in my darkest days you brought joy and laughter to me and thos moment that most definitely altered the course of my life. Dont you EVER leave us for the world would be lesser without you in it.

To anyone here that is thinking about ending it, One thing that helped me is that ending doesnt end the pain. It only passes the pain to the people you care about.

I really look up to you Kruz as a streamer and content creator. Sending lots of love your way💙💜

You and Focus Fuel really need to make non caffeinated gummies because it is ALWAYS so hard to stop myself from taking too much of the gummies because they taste so damn good! I would buy so many bags of non caffeinated gummies!

much love to you kruz!!! i understand ya alot more!!! but opening up is a start your doing amazing!!!

Had to pause watching because it just made me so happy to hear where I'm from be mentioned in the vid

Hi Kruz, one of ur KZfaq Stinkies here o7 I have loved your content from the first time i saw it bad before the pandemic and it helped keep me sane through some tough times. really appreciate ya and all you do hope you keep growing and glowing.

you and the crew (Mainly you, Chilled, and Speedy) is what got me into streaming. I love your DBD, Lethal Company, Phasmophobia, and your minecraft gameplays. How do you deal with burn outs though?

loved the video kruz! appreciate the real talk!

38:10-40:02 why do people have to be like that.

awesome to hear you ended up at a place where you are happy and grateful you stuck around! :) and... if you didnt have a great past with your parents... at least you have a good present with at least one of mine. ALSO, the drip today dude!?!? how do you make anime shit look SO cool?! the fuck

I just want to say that you are an amazing person and you can add me as one of the many people who are happy that you are alive. I wish I meet more people like you. You have an amazing sense of humor and personality so screw those people who bullied you. This world needs more people like you. I hope you fully recognize that the community you have created all love you. True stinkies love you! ❤

Ok after hearing all of this i need to see you do a livestream with the others all with the old person filter on. Playing as your old selfs haha

We are grateful you are here too Kruz. We love you and you help so so many of us by just being here and being you. Thank you 💜

yes! old and grey kruz. let's keep it going! then we can joke she's coming after the grandma's

Hey Kruz thank you for all the laughs. You rock. Sorry that some people are general As%Hats.

IM NOT EVEN 2 MINS IN AND YOU GOT ME BALLIN MY EYES OUT. We may need a drink after this one is all done

To add onto your life advice, I'd say don't be afraid to reach out for help, whether it be therapy, medication, or just friends and family. You are only alone in your fight if you let yourself be

Starting with the important question

RIP Dean. You were a real one 🙏🙌

Thank you for being you and for being here🫶 Wishing the family the best🫶🫶🫶

I would give the Hawk Tuah to Geralt of Rivia 😂

You're awesome Kruz!😊

Don't worry kruz all of us love you so much ❤️

This look is fire, bro 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I went to the Philippines in the 90s to meet my then fiance's family. Flew from Detroit to Japan and then the Philippines and back. Really nice people, and had a lot of Coke (the soft drink!). They also had some odd (for the US) sodas, like apple soda, which was pretty good actually. I'm fairly new to your channel and the others like Chilled and Pasta and Em and so on, so had no idea at all the crap you had to put up with, so sorry you had to deal with all that.

Hell yes who doesn't love waffles?