🤩 Interviewing one of the World’s Top Trauma Educators

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🤩 Interviewing one of the World’s Top Trauma Educators - Irene Lyon

Рет қаралды 7,911

Күн бұрын

@IreneLyon MSC. and nervous system expert, teaches people around the world how to work with the nervous system to transform trauma, heal body and mind, and live full, creative lives. To date, her online programs and classes have reached over 9,500 people in over 90 countries. Irene has a Master’s Degree in Biomedical and Health Science and also has a knack for making complex info easy for ALL of us to understand and apply to our lives. She has extensively studied and practices the works of Dr. Moshé Feldenkrais, Peter Levine (founder of Somatic Experiencing) and Kathy Kain (founder of Somatic Practice). Irene spends her free time eating delicious food, hiking in the mountains or walking along the Pacific Ocean in her hometown of Vancouver, British Columbia.
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TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction
03:46 Why NOW is THE best time to heal
06:40 What IS the nervous system?
17:00 How the FREEZE response is very taxing to our nervous system
19:00 What being in a FREEZE response looks like
23:00 Which comes first - thoughts or emotions?
26:37 Why humans have lost connection to the WISDOM of the body
29:08 Insights into the potency of Irene’s teachings
33:36 The importance of Titration in this work (baby steps)
35:45 An infants innate ability to orient to their surroundings
36:49 What happened me after doing 5 minutes of Irene’s exercises (eek!)
41:45 The important role of the kidney/ adrenals
50:19 What are the benefits of SBSM (Irene’s course) for the family scapegoat?
***
Irene’s Free 3 part trauma training: ea188.isrefer....
Irene’s Flagship Program SmartBodySmartMind: ea188.isrefer....
Irene’s 21-Day Nervous System Tune Up: ea188.isrefer....
***SPECIAL OFFER: If you join Irene's SmartBodySmartMind using my link above, you receive 2 months complimentary access to my Scapegoat Child Recovery membership (worth $245).
[I am an affiliate for SBSM]
***
Download my Free E-book here: www.marytoolan...
Join my monthly membership here: www.marytoolan...
My Website: www.marytoolan...
My 1:1 specialist recovery program here: www.marytoolan...
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Пікірлер: 57

@knit1purl1 11 ай бұрын

When my mother scream raged at me. Horrible abuse, words, blame, gaslighting, scapegoating (though I was over 50 before I understood these terms), I'm yet to fathom what that child did, what my mind thought, how my body responded. I think I shut down. And this happened over and over so many times.

@qdee6250 8 ай бұрын

Scream raged, that’s a great term - just realised in the past couple of days that this is one of the main roots of my trauma too, and they have started ‘scream raging’ again now due to frustrations and limitations of their aging body, it sends my body into shock (uncontrollable shaking). Cannot interact without having physical symptoms, though now they have threatened to destroy my reputation & career with allegations of elder abuse when I try to defend myself or my boundaries... threats of ‘taking it further⚖️’. A new low, painful but also can be seen as a blessing & gift of hope & peace.

@elizabethdarley8646 5 ай бұрын

@@qdee6250 Hi, qdee6250, May I say that in my situation I am glad that my elderly people have cancelled my legal duty to be their decision-maker for if ever one of them was unable to make decisions for their own wellbeing? I am no contact so, this reached me from their solicitor. Please protect yourself. Please look after yourself. From Bess in Yorkshire.

@noanoa332 11 ай бұрын

"it's better to be ignored than to be screamed at". That hit me hard. All my life hurting because of my mom ignoring me, this just made me realize it was better when she ignored than when she insulted me and criticized me. I wanted her attention so bad but whenever i got it it was worse than not having it.

@Vercanya 11 ай бұрын

That comment about shoplifting because you had to be such of a good kid at home... Damn. I had never thought of it in that way but it makes total sense. My home environment was suffocating me emotionally & I was heavily scapegoated, no wonder I started skipping school too around the same time. I was of course blamed for this behaviour, instead of anyone asking if I was ok.

@leen1q84 10 ай бұрын

😢 Are you okay now?

@kaystephens2672 6 ай бұрын

You know, I'm an older scapegoat. I never even thought about that. Anyone asking me my side of her story.

@hiloknowsall7462 11 ай бұрын

Dear Mary, i am yet to fully watch this one, but from one scapegoat to another - your erudite, lived experience wisdom is unparalleled. Your videos resonate more with me than virtually any others. As an earlier subscriber I’m so excited to see your channel reach more and more people. ❤

@scapegoatchildrecovery 11 ай бұрын

Thank you very much ☺️

@J_L45 11 ай бұрын

😢😢😢😢 first time here. Mary, Thank you so much for building this little community & for bravely and boldly sharing yourself with us. It’s a bit overwhelming, however I will be back to finish watching this presentation. Much love to ALL OF US. ❤

@Minnie--ru2ew 6 күн бұрын

I developed gastric ulcer as a kid. Now I know the root cause of that. When Irene mentioned that when her husband was alone (in his house, as a kid), he was relaxed. But the moment his dad arrived by the sound of the garage door opening, he started to get tense. I could really relate to this situation. I can recognize my father and mother’s footsteps and even scent. Then, I get tense.

@Joelswinger34 10 ай бұрын

OMG! I have just recently realized that I have had a hunched-over posture my whole life I knew it was because of what happened to me, but this really hits home!! I have been making myself stand up straight when I notice it, but my chest feels very vulnerable. I think that literally my heart feels vulnerable when I don't hunch to protect it.

@jcc6789 10 ай бұрын

Exactly- i lived in a panic state, frozen 57 years - ultimately had to go on a beta blocker to regulate my heart rate. Why? The horrific fear of my abuser (mother) - even to go back to her home or her come to mine, after i left home - total panic knowing i had to be around her. I finally escaped and now live alone with my animals. The devastation on us survivors and victims is unspeakable. Not counting the times my body was covered in hives, hair falling out etc, hyperventilating - my sister ultimately was diagnosed with MS and has had an eating disorder all her life. At age 61 she still lives with narc mother (age 86) - at least i got out, my sister will die in the abuse. I would love to be interviewed for the extreme abuse, the narc I survived.

@stephanieb2484 3 күн бұрын

Your sister might be financially dependant or dependant for housing and assistance. I wonder.

@sannajohanna5579 7 ай бұрын

It is true, that this era is a great time to end family traumas and history of scapegoating! How many scapegoats there have been in the family line back in the history! This is the time also to free their souls! To regognice them. Look at your family tree and all those persons who were told to ve ”mentally ill”, those who made a suicide or were alcoholics? Maybe that gives a hint about thier position in the family. We can now give them compassion as well as to ourselves. They did not have this possibility to know and go away and live their lives.

@JacquiQ 11 ай бұрын

I went NC a couple of years ago after several decades of toing and froing ( them ghosting me and then reconciling - a few times ) with family. I felt I had to go NC to save my emotional sanity, they are huge triggers that literally make me physically ill. I am not emotionally resilient and cannot stand up to them or be myself around them. They cannot understand why I have done it and blame me. I know I had to do it and altho there is some relief, I feel so guilty and bad about it. I wish I could just move on. I have intrusive thoughts abt them everyday. I just want it to stop. I wish I could just be strong about it, but its like this awful inner conflict inside me because I don't hate them, my nervous system just cannot tolerate them in my life in any capacity. Trying to justify my actions does not help. I want peace.

@rturney6376 11 ай бұрын

You’re Codependent ❤

@nemesister5109 10 ай бұрын

praying for peace for you 🙏🏼. Similar here, not ill, just pain. All but one is still alive--no contact but I waver back and forth about 'forgiving' and trying to reconcile, then know I'll still be that teenager, bad attitude, angry scapegoat that worked so well for them, even though I'v moved on with my life. Hurts that I don't have family, and I isolate a lot--hard for me to engage in relationships.

@qdee6250 8 ай бұрын

You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, and clearly push yourself beyond your own limits - I do the same, to the point of physical manifestations of emotional pain. My autonomic nervous system glitches badly even at the thought of my narc. Your soul is directly asking you to protect and honour your divine and precious self. 🌻 Your kindness and empathy should be bestowed on those who deserve it.

@qdee6250 8 ай бұрын

Also, I’ve found a talk on channel ‘soulwords’ by Rabbi Taub on ‘honour thy parents - the most misunderstood commandment’ . It gave me a lot of peace of mind. Loving them from a safe distance is a form of honouring them, and yourself. 🌻

@gracemcloughlin9305 2 ай бұрын

And if one is.....someone programmed you to be that way.@@rturney6376

@ritahemmerly4224 4 күн бұрын

The slow learning as you are ready for it caught my attention. Without a lot of memories spirit started teaching me with fairy tales, it always made me wonder at what age I became a problem so to speak. My smallest inner child I found was about 3 or 4. I have found some memories returning as I was ready to deal with them.

@nemesister5109 10 ай бұрын

What a great video, very insightful. I literally, couldn't even hold a conversation with anyone my entire 20's. Lots of alcohol, too. Looking forward to taking this course, crying already.🙏🏼

@christwarrior144 7 ай бұрын

Thank you Mary ❤ for hosting this topic intently in this interview. You are helping me ❤💯

@nithya7070 11 ай бұрын

Fabulous interview! Thanks, Mary & Irene!

@lcl2506 11 ай бұрын

Mary. Thank you with all of my heart for sharing yourself. You’ve helped me so much. May God protect and prosper you into eternity. ❤❤❤❤❤

@laylas5341 5 ай бұрын

It gives me a warm feeling inside my body to watch and listen to the two of you converse! I am entering my second round of SBSM with Irene and I have just found this channel. You both are engaged in important work ❤

@Solscapes. 11 ай бұрын

I was the only child of a single narcissist. I had to play all the parts, enabler, scapegoat, and even golden child, but only when she wanted to brag about her "parenting," and it was followed by belittling as soon as we were alone. It's rough. Being the scapegoat sucks, and I can't find anything on being the only child of a single narcissist. It feels like I'm just a lost cause.

@zennihilist6590 9 ай бұрын

I am one! When I was 10, my narcissitic mother, whom I had a desperate trauma-bond with, sent me to live with my abusive dad. At 12, I was made a ward of the state, and spent the next 6 years in group homes and foster homes while my mother went first to college, and then to graduate school TO BECOME A PSYCHOTHERAPIST. She has been very successful in the 35 years since. For a long time, I was not. After foster care I chased her and got just enough attention to keep me addicted to her, and I could never understand why I couldn't become a functional adult. A year ago, she moved to another state. I was devastated. But I have since thrived. Her absence was the best gift I have ever been given, I have been able to excavate my own agency and acknowledge the truth of my own story. I could never understand why no one else in the family would come to my rescue, and then a couple of weeks ago I stumbled upon the 22 Rules of Narcissitic Families by Jerry Wise, and that led me here. I am still very much in the process of learning how to understand everything that happened without the influence of her self-serving interpretation.

@Solscapes. 9 ай бұрын

@@zennihilist6590 Good to see I'm not alone! I'll have to check out that book. I wish I'd known about it before starting my video series Intersecting @$$holes.

@stevensvideosonyoutube 3 ай бұрын

That was interesting I liked, the relative comparison to the developmental and inner conditions.

@elizabethdarley8646 11 ай бұрын

Dear Mary, It is fine. I actually like the way the video is. Speaker view is fine for me personally. It is wonderful to see you on a new video. I will settle down to watch and absorb. Elizabeth in UK🙂

@elizabethdarley8646 11 ай бұрын

A red flag is in England: a warning of danger or a signal to stop. I would call it a warning sign.

@QueenB28348 7 ай бұрын

Whats the difference between the blacksheep and the scapegoat?

@shanaheslin1672 11 күн бұрын

Speaking in general terms, the black sheep is different from the rest of the group. They are seen as the bad one, which results in rejection and isolation. A scapegoat is more extreme than a black sheep, and also specifically becomes targeted for abuse. When the rest of the group has pain and rage to take out, they unload it on the scapegoat, who is made to take the blame for all the problems in the group.

@TranscendingTrauma 11 ай бұрын

Amazing interview and such great information! And by the way, I like the way, it’s filmed with one person at a time instead of the split screen.

@nourhealing2516 9 ай бұрын

This course is meant for me

@michaelsager5688 11 ай бұрын

Excellent interview, and I learned so much! I can't wait to dig into Irene's course and learn about my nervous system and how to feel safe again. Thank you, Mary 😊

@bizzzness1 11 ай бұрын

Same here 61, Mom 81...roasted me all my life, body shamed me, but out of jealousy. She is having mental issues...dementia onset as well, and calls me everyday to assist her...and talks about us being roommates. After watching these videos, I noticed patterns. Is this a pattern too?

@earthrooster1969 11 ай бұрын

It could be a pattern. My narc mother has NO idea how to love me ( my childhood was full of abuse, mental and physical and now that I am over 50, it's more of emotional blackmail and gaslighting) which includes as you say...suggestions of being closer to her physically..being friends, etc...if it was not for her army of flying monkeys and enablers, Dad, siblings, relative's included, I may have obliged. Her enablers are as toxic as she is, but it's all disguised with societal niceties and drama...

@knit1purl1 11 ай бұрын

I'm really sorry. They do not change with old age. My mother physically abused hospital staff in the end. Don't take direct care of her. She can go to a nursing home if the time comes.

@rturney6376 11 ай бұрын

Interesting 🧐. I had spinal meningitis at 3 months!!! A nerve illness. I was in the hospital until I was ready to deal with these people?

@AnanyaaPanwar-sp8wg 10 ай бұрын

Thanku so much

@Joanthebrightone 8 ай бұрын

Thank you. I am the scapegoat. I was deaf as a child. Yes, it was that bad.

@lizg.8626 Ай бұрын

I’m so sorry you went through that. 💕

@mariacliment2767 11 ай бұрын

All trauma therapists have "life time access" to their courses. You don't provide that and I do not understand why if we have paid for it. Thats all I wanted to say because Trauma Therapist really understand this and this is why they offer life time access. I asked for it and you ignored my call. That was not fair at all.

@libertycan6959 10 ай бұрын

what about OCD... intrusive thoughts? Pure O

@w8what575 10 ай бұрын

I hate that my family hates on my youngest son because he defends me….I love my son….I’m so thankful he is the way he is….it hurts me knowing it’s hurting him watching my family gaslight me constantly and intentionally set me up to look like a monster which I figured out and just walk away from when they pull something which I’m turn makes them more angry so they push harder and harder…it’s so bad my son and I are thinking about packing up our vehicles and leaving…but I own my property which is what my family wants is me yo leave so they can use the property to move my junkie brother into….he won’t move out of my par nts house until they buy him a place because he thinks they have money hidden from him but they don’t so it’s become this cycle of accuse and abuse and getting worse because they want me to move then they’ll have my property to move him into….then if he gets busted it’ll just be my property that gets seized and not their house…it sounds so insane but my brother is a psychopath junkie that shoots up meth and if he doesn’t get his way he slashed tires and lights things on fire and shoots guns at people but he’s also a snitch so cops let him get away with murder

@Olofo_olofsson 9 ай бұрын

Difficult situation but remember that when we have been scapegoated and abused in this way early on in our life our boundaries are really weak and unclear without us even knowing it. So really put your force shields up for you and your son 💪🙏 All the best to you! Regards Olof from Sweden

@user-ph1oe8ib5g 6 ай бұрын

You and your son deserve physical and mental safety. If you own the house you’re in, you can sell it to anyone you want without their permission . They don’t even have to know. You do not have to put up a For Sale sign and can arrange discrete viewings. Prioritise yourself and your son who loves you - you deserve a safe peaceful life. And a fair market price for your property when you sell - you will need this money to fund your new safe life you both deserve

@gypsy2007 10 ай бұрын

Mary, I really get a lot from your channel. To me, you are so in tune with this topic. But as an interviewer, please don't be making noise during the guest speech. It's very very very disruptive, distracting, and annoying. Please be silent. Thank you.

@crystalmyers4076 13 күн бұрын

It’s okay for her to make noise while she is actively listening. It’s not a big deal.

@gaurs230 11 ай бұрын

Yeah yes scapegoats are always sufferers from a lot of shit such blame is always put on them

@lorib6509 9 ай бұрын

You may not be aware that you continually say and make noises in the background while Irene is talking, yeah, mmm, uh huh, yes, mmm, yep, right, yeah, mmmm, yeah It's very distracting

@rachelk5272 6 ай бұрын

I like the mmmms, yes, uh huhs