Sooo glad Dr. Ramani is back again and speaking to more subjects other than her specialty.

Also where is our Kyle....he is not on channel like he was.

I think I have been each of these introverts at points of my life…..I was always described of a shy and quiet as a child..an observer….Definitely the first three speak to me… I have been in supervisory positions where I would have to conduct meetings and speak to groups of employees and I would feel myself trembling inside…I would feel exhausted after the day…

Yes my brother was nicknamed the politician In our family he was such an extrovert….EVERYWHERE we went he knew someone…I went to my own 30 year HS reunion…With the encouragement of my long time friend of course….And Because I was so shy throughout my years in school 🏫….Wearing my name tag….People asked me if I was Party 🎉 🎊🎂🎈Marty’s Sister ….People in my class knew my brother But had no idea who I was….& He was two grades behind me …🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

@@donnapiraino3323 That is so unfair! But isn't there a comfort in Dr. Ramani's words? Not the extraversion-adoring world is on our side, but there is a wise well of wisdom in us. And think about the immense strain your brother must be in when he has a bad day in public and his performance runs badly! Not being the center of attention can have its merits, think of all the time we can invest in social studies on such HS events without being bothered by shallow yays and hellos and wasted small-talk! Nevertheless I decided to skip my own 30yrs HS meeting. I feel more like day dreaming 😉. I was there for the 20th and felt drained afterwards. Too many people, too much masking.

Me either. Lol. It was “another day” for me.

I loved being at home and having my day to myself lol.

Heck, I enjoyed it!

I loved it I wouldn’t mind another one lol I wish the country shut down for one month a year lol that would be amazing

I definitely enjoyed not having to deal with social pressures during quarantine. But at the same time it kind of set me back, it was hard for me to get back out there.

That is exactly how I feel!

Same 😊

Thank you! I thought I was the only weird one

The value of 'superficial conversations' is that they can lead into deep conversations. You can begin talking about the weather and end talking about the meaning of life - or whatever.

@@hilariousname6826 They don't always though, introverts don't get any value from talking about superficial conversations on a regular basis. Yes they can start out superficial when getting to know someone, and for the extrovert this is enough satisfaction, for the introvert it isn't, and that is nothing that needs fixing it's just differences in how people relate to others and their environment.

Shyness by itself is *not* introversion. I started out not wanting to get close to people, shuttering if I had to do public speaking. Now I work at a job that requires to take phone calls (do much better than my less competent extroverted coworkers), I can speak to every random people, score freaking 21 out if 50 of anxiety introversion score. Except my restraint and social introversion scores are over 45 out of 50. You will NEVER see me throwing myself in parties, but if there are important things to raise, I WILL speak up. If emergencies arise, I WILL take charge if nobody else are present or capable to. However, you CAN be shy *and* introverted.

​@@fuyuukifukada7491 lucky man; a good wife and a long life. 🎉

My husband is an extrovert and you give me hope. He’s so extroverted that I assumed one day he’d dump me due to me being introverted. But you have been with your wife…who knows how long…so that lets me know it can be done with one introverted and one extroverted. He’s a Gemini btw if anyone believes in that…you know what I’m talking about…social butterfly.

@@pistachiosandpopcorn7146 I had the same relationship with my late husband. (Sagittarius if it means something, I'm Aquarius). The wonderful thing was that we as a Venn diagram overlapped a lot in our interests but we were both independent so I never felt I was obliged to do stuff with him and his pals it was great, and I never minded having our place occasionally filled with people since I could easily retreat (or not) and he was fine with it. It was a fine balance perhaps but he remains irreplaceable.

😢😢yup all my life!! I never fit in I was always harassed blamed and ended up fired ,left out of things and called weird, crazy, ect it’s been painful to say the least

Same. It’s discrimination, though, and exclusion is wrong.

nice to know I'm not the only one...

They thought you were rejecting them by keeping to yourself which hurt their self-absorbed egos. They can't grasp the idea that not everyone finds them interesting.

Exactly! I’m older and it is still a struggle everyday with any work place. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

Yup I was told I was hiding, weird, miserable and should not be around people.. wtf!!! I have a great personality and I’m certainly not miserable to people! I don’t put up with bullying so I guess that makes me an outsider

My parents are both introverted as am I, and I think they never got to the place where they could be truly be OK with it. So they projected their self-shame onto their introverted kids. It's quite sad.

I live in India... If you're an introvert life is very difficult here! The vibe here is that you have to be loud and forceful to get your message across, you have to be constantly active, you have to be interesting, it's exhausting to be around this chaos all the time.

True introversion actually is a sign of childhood trauma/abuse/neglect. It’s pretty rare for someone to be naturally introverted, and even the most naturally introverted people typically want to be surrounded by a few people they love, even if they do need more alone time than the average person. We are a social species. Introversion to the degree of being a hermit would not be conducive to the propagation of humanity. That degree, or type, of introversion, is nurture, not nature. I say this as a natural introvert, with very little to no childhood trauma history.

Without introverts, there is no art to spare extroverts from dying of the truth.

I'm a social introvert. I don't even like having neighbors next door, but I don't want to live in the forest completely alone. I want someone close enough that if my house catches on fire they can call the fire department. But I don't want them coming over to talk to me either. 😂

Im introvent, im not shy, people drain me and I need alot of space.

I used to get annoyed when my family would constantly label me as shy. My sister was always super loud and demanded 24/7 attention so I never bothered expressing myself to the family.

@@digby_dooright hahaha I feel you on this. My neighbors rang my doorbell to introduce themselves yesterday. We stood outside for 15 minutes with them asking me really personal questions. I tried to wrap the convo up a few times but they kept chatting. I will now avoid them every time I see them outside.

@@charlesclawson3445 You are probably a empath. You absorb their energy and need to time to release it.

Right!!.😊

It was exactly the same for myself. Iv never understood why iv wanted to go to different outings but at the last minute talk myself out of it. And so much more that I never understood. Thank you

Tooooo true, love my quiet home, love my quiet time, keeps me balanced. 🌺🌺🐢

I can’t plan too much…it stresses me out…like if I socialize then I want to be at home some too..just to recharge and like you I didn’t realize I was doing it but now I understand and appreciate myself more.

I never got the "You're so quiet" comments despite being painfully shy. I think maybe it's one of the many differences between American and British culture (I'm assuming you're American 😏). Here in the UK almost nobody says anything and I kinda wish they would so I'd at least have the opportunity to say something even if I can't bring myself to actually do it. Being ignored makes it soo much easier to avoid and sink into rumination. It's nice that you've been able to be yourself

That phrase is heart wrenching to hear… I grew up with being told to “talk more”, “don’t be so shy”, and many other phrases. I agree with your sentiment that “just being me” is key.

Oh yes, those lines sound very familiar. I'm sorry you had to experience it too. It took me a long time to come to terms with it, but that's one of the benefits of getting older. :)

Hi from Germany where we like to measure and compare everything by certain standards, haha! 🙄 It took me a long time to rethink the bad experiences, but that's the good part about adulthood. Don't feel bad about being shy! There's nothing wrong with it, unless you feel that it's affecting your life in negative ways. In that case you can always take baby steps! :)

I heard that a lot, too. And yes, it was always with a negative connotation, usually with the implied notion that I was "stuck up." I am introverted, in varying degrees of the types described here. I think I was mostly an "anxious" introvert - because I was always afraid of saying the wrong things and being ostracized because of it. I was definitely poorly socialized as a child and never had many friends growing up (and still don't) because I always ruminate on the embarrassing or inappropriate types of things I said when in conversations or social settings.

Thank you so much

💕

@@JesusLovesBest and "An unlived life is not worth examining." - A Fellow Introvert

If there’s a 5th category that has traits from the other 4 mixed together, that would definitely be me

I think I’m a mix of 1/2.

Good for you!!

i believe there is definitely an attraction pattern between this type of person and narcissists

OMG! I was with a narcissist for only a year and still have flashbacks. How did you survive 31 years?! You're amazing! 🧡

Sorry about that

👍👍

Your description of yourself describes exactly how i am as an introvert.

@ Barb, I could have written each and every word myself. Ty so much for articulating. DR. Damani...I feel liberated and understood for the first time!

Me too…

And then extroverts will tend to think that u are bored of them or take it more personally that u don't want to hang out, when really u just need to recharge

That’s how I am, exactly

I definitely know how you felt! You put my feelings into words so nicely. 😊

ya know... It was an introvert's heaven! I love the pandemic because I spent so much time alone and didn't feel guilty about it.

@@moonmissy True that!! lol

Exactly!!

I'm struggling to go back normal. I enjoy this hermit lifestyle too much.

You and me both. You just described me perfectly. Kudos to you Arlene. Good job being yourself. And not living up to other peoples interpretations and expectations of you.

Me too.

There is a big difference in being alone and lonely. I live alone and go by myself to a lot of activities. I eat alone in restaurants. I felt funny at first but it's fine now. I travel alone. If I waited for someone to go with me, I'd never go.

I refuse to go to parties, unless I have a job to do. I actually enjoy working at parties and I enjoy watching other people partying. I also enjoy loud music and a hectic environment, but I want to be in my own cocoon. I do enjoy the company of small groups (up to four people), but then I like it to be a bit more quiet. After that, I'd like to be alone. The last time I gave a birthday party was more than 20 years ago, and the last time I went to a birthday party was just as long ago. I really don't like these sort of event. I also avoid any work related events. I never have drinks with my colleagues after work, but I do go out for lunch with one or two of my colleagues.

I agree with this. Sometimes I do feel guilty for wanting some alone time away from the spouse and kids to do nothing special but my own thing.

Lol...one of my sisters tells everyone that I'm autistic to explain my introverted behavior. I haven't spoken to her in 2 years...

@@joshpatrick8809 Same. I cut off my sister and best friend. That’s disrespectful.

My sibling told me that she was introverted so I couldn't need more space than her. Turns out I think she's a social introvert (and a vulnerable narcisisst), I'm a mostly thinking introvert. But she refused to see any justifications for my differences and just wanted to justify not letting me out of her zone of control.

I expect respect from family and long time friends and aquaintenances just like I do everyone else. I DONT let bad behavior and words go by when coming from family and persons I've known for a long time. If they think they are entitled to say crappy things to me,or exhibit less than kind behavior,then they learn I won't connect with them. Same measuring stick.

@@temi4116 same here

Me too. But growing up, in some way my opinion was not encouraged so I just stayed inside my head for so long. So sad😢

Exactly. That's why sometimes I can't response to jokes spontaneously. My brain has to process it, and craft the response before I can speak 😞. I can't be responsive as extroverted people. Some people talk then they realize what they said after.

And sometimes, other people cannot accept what an introvert says because many non-thinking extroverts do not have the background to understand or the desire to even think.

@J: Thanks!

🔑👍🏾

I think I am a combination of all of these.

Thank you!

@@jadea.2694. Yep.

It's funny that you should say this about introverts not being narcissists because I follow another youtube channel on narcissism and they were pretty adamant that there were many introverted narcissists. I just thought that it was an odd thing for the youtube channel to do since introverts don't need to be around people as much as extroverts, so therefore don't have the need to seek out validation all the time. I would like to see Dr Ramani's take on this. I felt like the other channel mixed up introversion, shyness and social anxiety with the lack of empathy that narcs have.

@@craftyhobbit7623 many-an introvert (especially if they’re introverted feelers whose feeling-tone’s taken on a selfish pattern, coupled with bossy extroverted thinking) can be quite the narcissist. INTJs are probably up there with the more toxic/unhealthy Se-dom. variants when it comes to things like that. But ultimately the more introverted a cognitive function is the less intrusive/obnoxious/annoying it is to other people, because it’s self-contained. When those tendencies are getting help from an outgoing function (extroverted thinking) it ends just as badly as would be the case with a straight-up ENTJ Karen-narcissist but more often than not it’s internalised into a more hypochondriacal, self-loathing, depressive picture. I’d rather have the latter at my wedding or a barbecue motif than a typically-outgoing, charismatic one who wins sheep over with malignant gossip at every turn. I’d say intuitives and empaths (who can be introverted or extroverted in any sense, socially or in an MBTI sense) are the least naturally-narcissistic. People high in extroverted sensing (coupled with certain types of introverted feeling) are more inherently-narcissistic and you can see elements of it in so many walks of life (and I’m not saying that to assume psychological eminence in the third-eye sense all-round because I only know what I know, and that’s far from everything). Many ‘extraverted behaviours that are annoying to introverts’ (insisting on making small talk with random people every time you see them, headphones in or not, generally feeling entitled to someone’s vis-a-vis social energy when you’re not extremely close to them, feeling entitled to make lots of noise at all hours but daring to flip at an unassuming housemate for closing a door gently because of a specific kind of introverted hypersensitivity that lies dormant in them and comes out at the most random moments of the night) stem from narcissistic entitlement. Not all or even the majority of extroverted-sensing dominants are like that but when that kind of behaviour isn’t getting help from extroverted feeling (which is all about maintaining harmony and comfort between and for the people around you), that’s often how it starts. That’s why people like that get so weird whenever terms like ‘introversion’ are used. Quirks and ‘hypersensitivity’ are only okay so long as they’re theirs.

I'm and introvert but image a lot of narcissistist are also introverts but default as loner types. For one thing I think its exhausts them to try to impress and get validation when there so low on empathy, and therefore no likely to want to be around others since they don't care about them. They likely have a hard time cultivating relationships because people realize how shallow the relationships are. I think people often also confuse NPD and avoidant attachment which could confuse the introverted/extroverted correlation on this, but I would be interested to see if there's research on this.

@@samanthas8340 not if they have Fe or an Fi that’s directed towards moralistic musings (often deep affection for and care for animals). It’s when Fi is linked to Te that you’re in trouble (*cough* INTJ *cough*) but even then it’s not a given:

Beauty and the Boat. Love your comment. Totally agree!

I agree that KZfaq is amazing for introverts. To me, it’s always great having someone telling you things, but you don’t have to talk back and make an effort to keep the conversation going. It‘s not exhausting, you can pause anytime to reflect on things or research them, choose another video, take a break or put your phone away. It can be deeper than small talk and you can learn a lot about the topics you care about.

There is something about yt. I learn a lot and I like the choices I can make. I have my favourites and also enjoy not being talked back and distracted, being able to listen to vids again and again. I gave myself a treat and booked premium yt for a few months but I think it is getting too expensive for me at the moment so I have to put up with commerce. That sucks sometimes.

@@melinaburkhardt421 for sure on yt you can learn alot without anyone to distruct with their attention.

I know, I often practice telling stories about significant life events in my room alone and I sound so good, clever, confident funny and engaging. But if I'm new in a group of people ... Just making eye contact with people can side rail me or if I feel my conversational style is markedly different I can't pull it off like I did when I was by myself. Definitely something I'd like to improve on, but I also give myself some slack because I know I'm a Highly sensitive and pick up very easily how others are thinking/feeling. Haha, I like that phrase... "Thought Stopped", I've never heard that before.

@@aynilaa yes indeed

I'm exactly the same way! We DO exist! 😃

How are you in my head right now? 😁

I'm the same way. I also know - usually - when I need alone time and schedule it. I add to my calendar 'shopping with mom', 'weekend with mom' or 'dinner with mom' or something like that. No one argues when I check my calendar and say, oh I'd love to but I'm visiting mom then. Find some reasonable excuse you can use with those who want an explanation. But understand, you ARE NOT REQUIRED to explain how you spend your time with anyone other than to a judge after a subpeona.

@@MsBettyRubble thank you ☺️

Omg this is me!

They are called covert NPDs!

That's soo true!

Look up Albert Ellis. It doesn't matter whether other people value you - what matters is that you value yourself.

Im a 61 bw & i have often felt unappreciated by bm in close situationships. I have became an introvert over the past 6 months & dont choose to be around large groups of people i dont know. I am al HSP so i need to be alone every day of my life to maintain my good mental and physical health

I’m a mom of 2 and I’m married but every night after dinner I have to go upstairs and read quietly. I realize I was that way when I was a teen living with my parents. Always off alone in my room at night. Never snuck out to go hang out with friends because I just wasn’t into that. I preferred “me time”

What I noticed is that many extraverts get offended when I try to set boundaries. I just say like "well, this is not something I am willing to join you for", or "right now I need some time alone". I don't see how that can be rude (to be fair I couldn't care less how they feel about that. I respect the boundaries they, and others, set to me, so Im sure as hell will have my boundaries respected!)

As a black female American myself, I know exactly what you’re talking about when it comes to other people’s perceived expectations of you. As if individual personalities don’t exist among people within a certain demographic. Btw - I often go by PlutoRising on other platforms. I just thought our similarities are kind of cool.

I’m black too. And tired of people comparing me to the loud outspoken black women. They think somethings wrong with me. We are not all loud. It sucks because the quiet or introverted non blacks at my job people say nothing about them. And my supervisor she can’t wait to call me out on it. I got a feeling I’m going to cuss them all out one day. And what does my personality have to do with the job. We clean.

To Uranus rising....btw..I have Uranus rising also...Ive been reading Susan Cain's book, "Quiet", and I thought of her book as Dr. Romani mentioned some points and was glad to be validated as an introvert once again.

@@Shon9tilR Yes, the supervisor needs to get a grip. She needs to dump her preconceived stereotyping. Sounds like she needs to experience being around a lot more people of many kinds. She can do that by putting herself in those situations purposely . (Hey supervisor... open up, and change your thinking, dump your style of categorizing people. Your reward will be to become more free doing so!)

being a person of colour and introverted is difficult because everyone is encouraged to be loud and outspoken so people see you as snobbish when youre actually shy or prefer to be quiet

I love that image - happily waving people goodbye as they go off to interact with dozens of others. That's me as the first guest to leave the party! Two or three hours is the max I can enjoy social interaction without glazing over and needing to go and recharge my batteries.

Your four types of introvert are defined by a mixture of criteria. Social and thinking introverts are defined by 'styles'. Anxious and reticent introverts are defined by 'pathology'. The two criteria may be expected to clash often enough. Better to recognize four 'styles', or four 'pathologies'. That way the criteria can't clash. Now we ask, are there four 'styles' of introvert? Are there four 'pathologies'? Are you interested here in 'styles', or else, in 'pathologies'? Or both respectively?

Same. It's as if you must possess these traits in order to be worthy and valuable. If I left this planet, they would just say “she was smart and shy” that's it😂🥲

I could never be described as bubbly. When I first started work I was criticised for being ‘too quiet’ - sorry, I can’t be something I’m not, you’ll never see me dancing on the table. Not being a super friendly extrovert has always seemed to have been seen as a negative. I would never even try, I’d have burned out in minutes. I’m still of the opinion that going out is a waste of a good night in.

Prob just Liquor & Coke makes loudmouths

And they also describe the terrorists as disturbed lone wolves.

Bubbly people get on my nerves.

this is the level of self-acceptance i am aspiring for 🖤🖤🖤

Not being a total needy creature often gets one the label of "arrogant/snob/antisocial", eh? =\ Im so happy for your remote work! Im working my way to have it too. Nothing would please me more!

Yes thank you 😊

That’s a good way of explaining it. When I was little I was terribly shy and terrified of people. Now I’m more reserved and observe people and decide if they are someone I want in my immediate circle. Needless to say I have a small circle of friends.

Sometimes they can correlate with eachother. I think the shyness or any fear can come from instinctively knowing we are different and don't fit in. All the typicals can look around and see the majority of people are like them so there's no fear of whether they'll be accepted. But an "A typical" is automatically going to sense they are in the minority. Plus, many of us are highly sensitive and creative, and often Creatives instinctively protect their creative self by not trying to conform for fear that they will lose their authentic self (which is very important to many). I think the subject of introversion can be complex.

I like that simple self questioning, Jerline.Just a quick check in to learn about self.

Never mind, none of us do! Love who you are! How do you know others aren't the same just hiding it! How many star names dread going onto the stage etc but hide it, I've heard of quite a few!

@@tlc6756 There's more of us around than you think! Read most famous people's lives and you find that many of them are, they just bury it a lot of the time.

I could have written this! My mom was very extroverted and made me feel like there was something wrong with me because I was so quiet. I don't think we liked each other much either.

Don't know either of you, but it appears that your mother had/has an inability to understand different personality types. I also know that the lack of understanding can also be cultural, where some ethnic cultures (even if they are now in America) can assume that if you are quite or an introvert, that you are not intelligent. This could not be further from the truth. A 35 year (now ex) friend is an extrovert, however, she has no filter and blurts out comments or incinuations knee jerk without thinking what she is saying, and most of the time, will not apologize for anything she says. With respect to your situation, I was a super shy introvert child early on and I discovered much much later that I was raised in a narcissistic household (Father & 1 yr older sister, but mother was unloving, indifferent, and had to have been intentionally a tag-team with my sister against me). Obviously, the narc family members must have thought I was not intelligent for not responding, but I feel that actually "saved" me as I observed (and thought they were all crazy, save my 4 yr younger brother who I felt was a "victim"), but didn't respond. Didn't make it easier as narcs do the same thing over and over, the verbal or whatever attacks just became predictable for me. To deal with the (what I thought was just dysfunction at the time), I developed my artistic self and honed a bunch of hobbies (drawing, metalsmith & sewing) including reading. We do what we need to survive. It appears that you have survived and thrived.

Totally get you

I get really peed off when I think about my childhood in the late 50s/60s when an introvert was made to feel like someone with a problem. Even in my working years I'd have people pass comments like "you're quiet aren't you?" as if that was perfectly acceptable yet I'm sure there'd have been a riot if I'd turned round and said "and you're a noisy gobshite aren't you?"

To Susan, Sure enough! As I age, Im more myself.

Just be your wonderful self!

Feel you soooo much. ❤️ My biggest agony is pleasing others/trying to be there for people but I can't because I'm drained.

In my early 20s I used to force myself to go to parties 2-4x a week, "because that's what makes normal people happy", and almost always leave the party too early according to my friends, and feeling empty and sad. The moment I decided to stop forcing myself on doings thing I was "supposed to enjoy", my life, mood, and self-esteem hiked big time.

I agree with you. I choose my own friends and being introvert is amazing. We don’t need validation or any attention. ❤❤❤

Yes, I welcomed the isolation as well. And the since, 6 feet spacing. People who must be less than 6 feet away from me bother my vibration. There are exceptions however that I am ok with. I expect that others respect boundaries and dont enter others needed space. Ideally people pay attention to others preferences. With some people though, 6 feet distance is about 5 feet too much away from others. Ha. They like people close to them and even touching them. They should stick around others that like that style.

I did not miss going into the office at all during the pandemic. I held up quite well psychologically working at home and interacting on the phone.

😅✨🙌🏾

I enjoyed my own company ❤

Thank you, I was just looking in the comments to find the name of the mentioned author and the paper as it seems a very interesting material. If I may add, I think it's great you found an answer / an explanation that helped you view your way - introversion - through a different lens.

That's awesome. Thank you for that, I'm going to get that book.

Awesome book. I picked it up in a bookstore at the age of 44 and read it cover to cover right there! I always thought I was anti-social, but the book validated SO many things for me throughout my life. From that point on I often shared with people that I was an introvert. NOW, thanks to Dr R, I can add that I'm a "thinking" and "social" introvert.

Well ut definitely doesn't feel like I respond longer, too quick for my taste ( But I am definitely social type

I think you mean 'few and far between' :)

I can RELATE

✅

People can't imagine you to be one? What do you mean?

@@danix3638 They can’t imagine me as an introvert.

@@light-yi2me why? Because you have social skills and not hidden in a corner in a dim room with a book and a black yellow eyed devious cat in your lap, occasionally cackling while throwing stones at innocent neighborhood children (who think you are an evil witch) walking home

This is so me… everything you said.

sooo me!

I will be controversial and claim extraverts are much weaker mentally than introverts as they NEED lots of attention from other people while introverts can just deal with no one and few people very easily

🙋🏿‍♀️

This reminds me something I keep telling people: I wish I could clone myself, so one could go and do stuff, while the other (maybe the other 2 or 3) would just analyze everything that happened in my life (in the life of the one who is doing stuff, most likely).

I always got fired or ended up quitting jobs because I was mistreated

That struggle is definitely real. I follow some autistic writers on Twitter. There’s a lot of “here’s what neurotypical people expect at work” and stuff about masking that has really helped me understand how hard it is for people who aren’t extroverted to thrive in our society.

💯

I, too, am a social-thinking introvert. People usually believe I am an extrovert because I don't have a shy bone in my body, and I am a good public speaker in front of crowds. I like sharing knowledge and experience, but when it comes to actually enjoying myself, I like being alone with my thoughts. Does this ring true with you as well?

Me too! I sent this video to my hubby because he didn’t believe I’m an introvert. But I am!

@@arlenerivera6631 Yes! My profession requires me to regularly speak and teach publicly, and interact with people. I enjoy laughing and talking with folk, and I will strike up a convo with almost anyone. But I need my recharging time, thinking time and solitude. It’s essential for me.

Yes, I relate. I want to talk more deeply or seriously, but most conversation is story telling with a funny twist. And it seems most people exaggerate or fib in order to do that. Not something that appeals to me. I'm familiar with the blank faces you describe. Like you're an alien or something for being too serious. Fortunately, I have a best friend (50+ years) that I can discuss most anything with and is always interested in me and me in him. I've found that I'm drawn to people who are more on the talkative side but appear to be good with my more quiet nature. It's taken me a very long time to come to grips with who I am. But the fact is, I have learned to like me as I am.

This describes me too. My extroverted friends get very confused because I am very chatty, happy and even kinda loud during parties, but then I leave early and they can't figure out why I'd leave if I was having fun. I also tend to decline plans when they're during weekdays, because while I love hanging out, I know it's gonna drag my energy and I won't be working so well for the rest of the week. Happily, while my friends don't understand it, they have come to accept it.

you always were you - its that cliche of finding yourself