Is dating allowed in Sikhi? Khalsa Camp BC

Is dating allowed in Sikhi? Khalsa Camp BC - Q&A #1

Рет қаралды 56,826

9 жыл бұрын

Q&A session at Khalsa Camp BC (Canada) . Question was "Is dating allowed in Sikhi?" - Q&A #1
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Пікірлер: 127

@14dhat16 9 жыл бұрын

Wow this is so deep that I finally got an answer to my long awaited question. No relationship before marriage is worthy enough of breaking your Rehat. You already have an Anand Karaj with Guru Saab, don't be so vulgar to trigger and act upon the pleasures of this human body. Where there isn't Vaheguru, there's pleasure. And where there is Vaheguru there's only Anand. One must be filled with virtues of Vaheguru; so my sajan's meet the Saints and go beyond these panj chors. And always remember Dhaan Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji has written in their Salok Mahalla 9; "Jagat Mein Jhoothi Dekhi Preet."

@TheTurbanatore 9 жыл бұрын

@HarpreetSingh-cz2zh 6 жыл бұрын

RIP to this fellow and wish his family strength but: If you ever watch a video/listen to a katha from a mahapurkh, they never waste time on such empty discussions of whats allowed and whats not. Sikhi is about being a student and growing from each experience in life and finding Waheguru ji. If we focus on naam we will be more responsible and mature. Mahapurkhs teach and talk about naam and the beauty of it and how to love it. Some of Basics of Sikhs videos are nice when they educate about Waheguru and Guru jis.. but many of their videos are empty and pointless. Seems like their depth of naam is very poor - no spiritual depth. This is why they focus more on rules like Islamic shia law than true sikhi - Naam and having videos about meditating. Basics of Sikhi has lost their way of what Sikhi is and are stuck in a political trap due to what happens in the UK - interfaith marriages. Please meet an enlightened soul and learn about sach - truth and spread that not your own opinions of what should be done and what shouldn't. Guru Nanak ji never taught rules, he did not stamp restrictions and etc. We are all here for a divine experience and via this journey sometimes we get dragged into other things this is why we do ardas and we read bani and do simran - thats if we want a different and spiritual lifestyle. Stop being sikh police and get a life. No Mahapurkh would make a video or spend precious 12 minutes to talk about such a worldly topic..and set rules or say thats allowed and whats not.. Be Khalsa by defending not restricting.

@TheGeneralofLight 9 жыл бұрын

Even guru Nanak said "is jag mein kaam pardaan" Lust has too much power over people in Kali-yug.

@gurdaspuria1844 Жыл бұрын

I have come across this video many times over the years, everytime i look into the comments, I see this comments, although I do agree with your statement that Kaam is extremely controlling in Kalyug, That shabad that you have wrote never comes in gurbani. Although Maharaj Ji does say ਇਹੁ ਜਗੁ ਮੋਹ ਹੇਤ ਬਿਆਪਿਤੰ ਦੁਖੁ ਅਧਿਕ ਜਨਮ ਮਰਣੰ ॥ This world is engrossed in attachment and transitory love; it suffers the terrible pains of birth and death. Bhula Galtian Di Khima Ji Muafi Bakhsho Ji I do not know much please correct me if I am wrong Thank You Ji 🙏 ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਿਹ

@harkirankaur2740 9 жыл бұрын

As Sikhs, we should respect ourselves enough that we won't accept anyone who won't make a commitment to us. The western way doesn't work. People devalue the marriage relationship and even if they do eventually get married it no longer has meaning. I am so glad I spent most of my adult life alone, found Sikhi, and now found an amazing Amritdhari Singh who wants to spend his life with me. We are being married this Summer. The feeling knowing someone wants to make that commitment to me, I can't even put in words. I have so many friends who live that western lifestyle, and end up only feeling only used. I came to Sikhi on my own, and totally agree with this! The deep spiritual connection was what drew me to Sikhi, and my soon to be husband and I share a deep interest in helping each other on our spiritual path.

@Rupinder-t5t 7 жыл бұрын

Beautiful

@sukhrajsinghmehrok7443 7 жыл бұрын

Harkiran Kaur i hope every girl and boy have thinking like you. Everybody should be committed to only one through their whole life. At least in sikhi this should be the way. Atleast not to follow one of four kurehats stated by Gur Gobind Singh.

@jagratsoni 4 жыл бұрын

Glad to read this. Waheguru Kirpa Bakshe.

@blissfullife2276 Жыл бұрын

Blessed 🙏

@satnam2 10 ай бұрын

Good for you, stay true

@daramrandhawa1107 2 жыл бұрын

Really informational to everybody out there!!!

@tanveerdhillon7682 8 жыл бұрын

i luv watching ur vids, so inspirational

@FunHarvey 9 жыл бұрын

I look at women's feet too!!! It has worked so far. They are high, and they are Kaur's. Someone we should treat with MOST respect. I wish more sikhs did this. It made me mad when i went to India and most kids were just thinking about women in a dirty way. They did not look at them with clean eyes. Please change that.

@ManpreetSL 8 жыл бұрын

I have a question about this. I have never intended to have a physical relationship with a girl before marriage; I have always believed that those things are only acceptable when you're married to someone you truly love. I haven't been in a relationship, so I can't say from experience, but I thought that spending more time with a person (plausibly through dating) would allow you to connect with them (mentally and emotionally, not physically) and get a better understanding of who they are. Once you mutually establish that you're right for each other and you'd like to get married, you could proceed to do so. However, if this step, as in spending more time with the other person, was only done once engaged (as stated in the video), what are we meant to do if we find out that our marriage-to-be would most likely not work out due to issues such as a difference in values, behaviour, etc. I think that in the current state of our world, there are too many marriages where a husband and wife don't truly love each other and they don't accept each other, which leads to broken/unhappy marriages (possibly divorces), and if they have kids, it can often cause psychological problems for them, which affect the way they grow up to be. How are we meant to know/decide who is right for us without ever giving our minds an opportunity to connect?

@ManpreetSL 8 жыл бұрын

+quigs4counting Nope

@technophiliac2282 7 жыл бұрын

Do what you think is right. Dont follow peoples advice. You get life only once.

@ManpreetSL 7 жыл бұрын

Technophiliac I think that the reason so many people suffer is because we all try to do what we believe in... I seek advice from others because I am aware that I don't know everything.

@technophiliac2282 7 жыл бұрын

+Manpreet Singh Lalria yes bro but you also need to decide whom to follow.

@livelife6695 7 жыл бұрын

Very good point. Some end up finding the right chemistry & intellect after married for a while just like myself at 39. Then it is very immoral to back-stab someone who has been with you in bad times. Also, no way for a Sikh to run away from the promise of mutual trust made to Guru at Anand-Karaj. BUT I will be sorry to myself & to wonderful alike also, for whole life. Conclusion: it is absolute necessary to connect our minds to make an informed choice for life.

@ravs332 9 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the insight. Dating is one issue that I struggle with.

@TheTurbanatore 9 жыл бұрын

Me to

@manjindersingh4279 7 жыл бұрын

o he grabbed my hand🤣

@ranimsafar8031 2 жыл бұрын

what do you do if you marry someone you know very little, and after lets say 6 months you realize that person is no good or you dont like being with anymore? I think is better to be allowed to try first and if things are good and the 2 get well together, then get married after. What do you think? thanks

@techlappy4055 5 жыл бұрын

I still want to hear his voice in new videos

@ben_s73 9 жыл бұрын

This is a complex equation where both marriageable people are concerned. Its all well and good proposing Sikhs say they are "ready to get married" but in this day and age neither parents or bicholan have any idea about the personal/medical history where the individual marriage candidates are concerned. This seems unfair where all too often some (NOT ALL) parents/bicholans are trying to simply "marry off" their son/daughters using the pressure of bicholan and other elders as emotional blackmail and hierarchical pressure. All too often I have witnessed this behaviour between uninformed families where the two marriage candidates who all get caught up in the euphoria of ceremony only to find out later that their is some undisclosed health issue with one a person (man/woman cannot bear children) or they have an colourful past etc... How can you bridge the gap between full disclosure leading to respect and acceptance or sweeping under the carpet and then casually expressing "the marriage will sort it out"...or worse "it's in gods hands now"...which is often the road to ruin for all parties involved. I am not advocating dating in Sikhi but I would just like to highlight an all too common reality which I have witnessed many times in my life which becomes the source of discontent at various stages of married life or even failure.

@harveersingh5504 8 жыл бұрын

have you made a video about sikhs who don't wear turbans? and what this means and if it's ok

@basicsofsikhi 8 жыл бұрын

we try and teach the Sikhi that Guruji taught.. if people fall shaort and dont keep their hair or wear turbans, thats their choice, but ultimately everyone knows what it means to fully walk the Gurus path

@harveersingh5504 8 жыл бұрын

Basics of Sikhi thank you for your reply It means a lot and keep up the good videos

@NoName-jq7tj 8 жыл бұрын

I have a question. In Bhai Gurdas Ji's Varaan i was told at a workshop about marriage that Bhai Gurdas ji has written about the lovers of Punjab & there contains writings on 4 lovers. I was told that love your Guru like the way they loved each other. I read 1 tale and the dedication that Sohini-Mahiwal both had for each other was truley intense, but the here is 1 thing that according to the story Mahiwal the male character was married while being with Sohini. According to the story they both sleep together becuase the Sohini looses her virginty to Mahiwal even though they never married.

@mastermind7538 6 жыл бұрын

No Name Sikhs beleive only in Guru Granth Sahib Ji and Dashmesh pita's 52 hukumnama and not in other religious texts. Guru Gobind Singh Ji himself said"Sab sikhan ko hukum hai guru manyo granth" which means" I command all sikhs to accept and follow only guru granth sahib ji as guru".

@SI96k 2 жыл бұрын

@@mastermind7538 you do know Bhai gurdas Ji's varan are the key to guru Granth Sahib Ji?

@gsingh5402 2 жыл бұрын

@@mastermind7538 idiot quotes something from dasam granth to say not to trust anything other than adh sri guru granth sahib ji

@anmolkalra7820 4 жыл бұрын

Being single is the best time for Amritvela

@prettygirl6146 2 жыл бұрын

I have a question about Sikishm. Without going out with the girl/guy, how can we know if the person is right for us? I'm not talking about sex/living together, can't we just have a coffee in a public place and discuss with each other before committing to a marriage or engagement? what if the girl/guy is a monster?

@hellonwheels4372 2 жыл бұрын

That’s fine

@randomdude79404 2 ай бұрын

I'm pretty sure this is allowed , the main thing is the intimacy he is talking about

@harvinkaurkuantan5928 9 жыл бұрын

what if the case is like this. A was 17 and met this guy and he being 19 at that time asked for a relationship. both was never in a relationahip b4. and both were walking on the path of sikhi as they were just starting. A took hukam nama b4 proceeding with the relationship and the hukam nama that A interpreted was "leave evrythng to guruji and follow the flow" and so she carried on with the relationship.. it has been 2 years of both of them tgthr.. yes of cuz there was kissing but not anythng more.. what is next should both of them do if dating is wrong (after watching this video)

@basicsofsikhi 9 жыл бұрын

Harvin Kaur Kuantan They should decide if they want to get married or not. If they dont, then what are they doing together after two years? If they do, then they should get engaged and set a marriage date. Also they should involve their parents and be open about the engagement

@harvinkaurkuantan5928 9 жыл бұрын

Basics of Sikhi they are so young, it isnt their age to get married but to study and make a living b4 getting into marriage. dnt u think so?

@14dhat16 8 жыл бұрын

+Harvin Kaur Kuantan you got your answer already by answering it yourself. What are you or whoever this A person doing when your not of that age to marry yet why are engaging with one another physically?

@saqibkhan5473 6 жыл бұрын

Is harvin the same person as A

@GagandeepSingh-ze7rc 3 жыл бұрын

ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ❤❤

@artkaur2965 5 жыл бұрын

Pls answer me that ,can sikh wear caps or a new fashion of bandana and all.......

@-mx9mi 5 жыл бұрын

No sister there is no need of caps in sikhi guru sahib blessed us with turban our crown which make us stand out of the crowd now you are asking can we became sheep once again that's a no sis

@gsingh5402 2 жыл бұрын

Big no

@20shourya Ай бұрын

yes it is not illegal to wear whatever you wish to wear

@kanayadeliz2584 2 жыл бұрын

Not dating before marriage is a great way to end up marrying someone, then realizing that being around them makes you miserable.

@lilith647 6 жыл бұрын

But what if you don't be with someone in a physical way.

@neelasingh1081 4 жыл бұрын

if you want to be with someone phyical or not, you should be in grihast jeevan, girlfriend boyfriend is very poor standard behaviour

@eakjotkaur4176 9 жыл бұрын

If they are good friends for few year,can amrithdari girl go out with non amritdhari guy for dinner or movie?

@basicsofsikhi 9 жыл бұрын

eakjot kaur Bhenji going for a movie with friends is not the same as being boyfriend and girlfriend etc. If its platonic and everyone is clear then it may be okay but not if one side has an interest in the other

@amandeepsinghkhalsa802 9 жыл бұрын

If we say no then u go or not obviously yes u know what I mean

@happynagra4559 6 жыл бұрын

Basics of Sikhi i really feel very mch positive after hearing paaji

@paramvirsingh7743 3 жыл бұрын

Ehi ta ds rhe a gf bf is not allowed in sikhi

@20shourya Ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@20shourya Ай бұрын

what about carbon dating?

@heavymetaldeath4life 9 жыл бұрын

Unrelated question: is it okay to chant the 1000 names of Vishnu?

@MrNimarprit 9 жыл бұрын

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh. We have Jaap Sahib which is supposed to be simmilar in structure, a composition by Guru Gobind Singh Ji which tells of Gods qualities (like him being fearless, desireless, that all his actions are full of courage, that he fullfills wishes, that he is forgiving) etc. Its really great to read and has a lot of repition as well, so its easy to apply those qualities to your own life. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

@davindersingh475 9 жыл бұрын

no we are not allowed to chant vishnu , we worship only akaal purkh

@TheTurbanatore 9 жыл бұрын

@kiratkaur2141 9 жыл бұрын

If you are thinking of the Hindu deity, then no because it won't do anything for you. If you are thinking of the timeless formless light of the divine, then its ok but it still may not be a good idea because you can easily slip into thinking of the Hindu god as that is what most people equate the name Vishnu with. I would suggest using another name for God which isn't already tied to a physical deity. Something like Lord, Waheguru, etc.

@rsk5807 6 жыл бұрын

Waheguru ji Sawal ta e hone chaide ne Asi kitho aaya Asi kaun hai Asi Kithe jaana e matlab mukti kida paani e Asi us Nirankar da ansh ha Man tu jot saroop hai Asi kitho aaye ha Us nijghar to Nijghar baiso arjan pyaare satguru tumre kaaj sware Asi mukti kida paani e Vichaar mare tare taare Ult joon na aaye Waheguru gurmantar da jaap karke apne vichhara nu khatam karna e te Te Waheguru da jaap karke haume mar gai Ta prapti ho jaani e Waheguru gurmantar hai Jap haume khoi Te jado Main mar gai ta Waheguru naam jahaz hai Chare so utre paar 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh Jado Asi gurmantar de jaap naal man di safaai kar liti ta Us man Bache di fateh ho jaande e Kyouki o man vichara to rahit ho gaya hai Khalsa ho gaya hai 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

@raajsingh5112 9 жыл бұрын

Could you quote gurbani more often when you answer these questions please to back up your points? I want to hear what the gurus say. I could go and read bani but I think your points would be easier to understand if you quoted bani on specific issues because otherwise it just seems like personal opinions.

@Jaskarn_singh001 8 жыл бұрын

Yea read the Shri dasam Granth and you will get these answers there u can search it up on KZfaq and find the dasam Granth (guru gobind Singh ji's bani)

@HarpreetSingh-cz2zh 6 жыл бұрын

@sdhillon3649 5 жыл бұрын

Even thn There's nothing bad in that opinion

@gsingh5402 2 жыл бұрын

@@HarpreetSingh-cz2zh thank you

@pureblood736 2 жыл бұрын

Dating for marriage is fine, as long as there is no pre-marital sex. You don’t just get engaged without knowing each other 🙄

@danielfazakerley709 2 ай бұрын

What About Kissing? 💋

@thebrownone Жыл бұрын

Respect

@TheTacoBoy001 9 жыл бұрын

As long as none of the five thieves are violated, then no problem exists.

@jessejames863 4 жыл бұрын

I understand no sex before marriage but no dating is hard. I know a lot of Singhs whose issue is that they have no idea what a woman wants or how woman think because they have never dated before. most singhs friends are other men. most singhs are not talking to any females other than their sisters. ive met many singhs who have told me they are totally confused as to how to even talk to a girl when it comes to a relation beyond brother sister. the question is how are men supposed to learn what women want or think or what a woman wants from a relationship if they are not allowd to date. i get pre martial sex is wrong but how can men learn what women want? its not 1800s punjab anymore. what is the solution?

@gillharshgill8315 3 жыл бұрын

What about someone who don't want to get marry in his whole life

@jessejames863 3 жыл бұрын

that is okay. baba harnam singh ji rampur khera walay never got married or had kids. It's okay to stay single forever but most Sikhs get married to deal with lust because you cannot have sex outside of marriage. most people cannot go there whole life without sex so that is why they get married.

@khalsaikhajana9980 3 жыл бұрын

there no problem in that theres many singhs that dont get married there whole life called bhiangams

@premsingh-yi4dg 2 жыл бұрын

@@jessejames863 right

@stun1zng267 8 жыл бұрын

if youre a couple who have been together since a young age, stick together, have children together, live a life together and do not get married, whats the difference?

@jasremix3809 7 жыл бұрын

DJ Delete cohabitating ain't allowed in Sikhism

@kanayadeliz2584 2 жыл бұрын

@@jasremix3809 That doesn't answer the question, they asked "What's the difference"

@gurgurgur 4 жыл бұрын

In universe only good rules allow if we misbehaving with souls or cheat with them then we got so many problems in life and guilt will eat us everyday so we should follow turth path in universe that's wheguru told us

@ekamjitsingh4663 8 жыл бұрын

I want to meet you once jagraj Singh paaji

@amitakaurjaglan6994 6 жыл бұрын

Ekamjit Singh I'm so sorry for you.

@S1n4h 9 жыл бұрын

Is marriage mandatory ?

@Number-gf7tp 9 жыл бұрын

No, but since our Gurus were householders, and were not monastic, they highly encouraged it.

@midnightsun2085 9 жыл бұрын

Yes.

@4thLion 9 жыл бұрын

Meant being in family WOULDN'T be like how it is now for a manmukh in duality. Guru Nanak Dev ji called family agna sagar in kaljug, it will burn you and others if you into family and caught up in rajogun (asha, abhilasha, trishna, chinta, fikar) and tamogun (kaam krodh moh lobh ahankar), so as per Gurbani best family life is with chanting and meditating on Gurmantar Vaahiguroo (gaave suniye mann rakhea bhau) listen to your voice when doing japp, doing vichar on Bani, and having the right jeevan jaach, then Gurbani says your coming generations will live like true Sahib's. VGKK VGKF!!

@khalsaikhajana9980 3 жыл бұрын

na bro

@mandeep8804 5 жыл бұрын

I wanna ask...that did my rehat break...i mean....i kissed the man i love..we meet sometimes..but i am feeling guilty for that...but i dont wanna leave him...he is not amritdhari and we both want to marry each other ...what should i do now..

@lovemarginravinder 5 жыл бұрын

Yup becoz utill u didn't marry u r not supposed to do this becoz untill u didn't married with a man all mans are ur bro father or u grand father according to the man's age only this gurbani allowed and gurbani didn't allow .... For more detail read banii more n more... Becoz jida guru gurnak hove onu kisi hor kolo puchan di lodh nahi hondi so u can make ur decision by consulting with guru sahib....

@mehar134 4 жыл бұрын

Is your bf keshdhari?

@TheTurbanatore 9 жыл бұрын

Almost Everything that is considered "Fun" these days is Banned :(

@mtsflorida 7 жыл бұрын

The Turbanator I can understand that some have been corrupted early in life feeling good about their corruption, but life isn't about enjoying vices and corruption its about finding your way in life and doing things productively with your life that you have a talent and calling for that Vahiguru has giving you. You first learn to respect and appreciate it and then grow to love it, anything connected to it brings you forever joy and fun and it is approved by your Guru and never corrupt or wrong.

@HarpreetSingh-cz2zh 6 жыл бұрын

Banned by whom?

@jagratsoni 4 жыл бұрын

Turbanator... Please explain "fun" things which have been banned by the system. I didn't quite get what you have written.

@kurransingh7436 4 жыл бұрын

Jagrat Soni “Fun” like drinking clubbing dating , exploring sexuality all that stuff I think he meant

@14dhat16 Жыл бұрын

@ayeshasaeed3140 5 жыл бұрын

I don't think so that arange marriage by parents,without kids accept its alow in front of God Jehovah🤔😊

@MrKhalsaSingh 6 жыл бұрын

In no way in the GGSji have stated that dating is forbidden, this makes no sense if we are allowed only to get married for going physical, yet again no banis that I've found have stated that sex before marriage is forbidden, again this doesn't make any sense.

@simranmehtab3757 5 жыл бұрын

MrKhalsa Singh but isn’t it part of sikhi to lower your gaze and not Engage with lust; ideally you should get married and I’m sure it’s one of guru Gobind Singh jis hukam Like no sex before marriage etc

@tejbirsingh1387 4 жыл бұрын

engaging in sexual activities to fulfill the lust in you is forbidden whereas intercourse to produce a offspring is permissible - atleat I guess so , bhul chuk maaf

@gsingh5402 2 жыл бұрын

Gurbani is not a rule book like the quran and the Bible.

@manjindersingh-oj2gv 8 жыл бұрын

@gurdas 6 жыл бұрын

yes its allowed... Lust is not.. very simple people concept.. this guy goes on too long.

@kurransingh7436 4 жыл бұрын

No it’s not allowd..!!

@neelasingh1081 4 жыл бұрын

no because Guru Nanak encouraged grihast jeevan, dating is anti-grihast behaviour

@gurdas 4 жыл бұрын

@@neelasingh1081 uhh they didnt have the concept of dating back then. u cant compare.

@neelasingh1081 4 жыл бұрын

@@gurdas back then they had concepts like concubines, slave girls. Emporers and kings had some kind of casual relationships with court dancers. There were casual relationships and casual partners back then as well, just there wasn't any fuss about it not being lustful. They know it was outside marriage so in those cases lust was involved. Modern dating just increase 5 vikaar!

@uvg319 Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Is this Khameini?

@gluehuffing5454 5 жыл бұрын

I would like to date a Sikh man. They're cute with the beards, cute moustaches and the turbans. But I don't know whether a Sikh man would want to date a transgender.

@user-nn1xf2qh3d 4 жыл бұрын

You might find one one day

@gsingh5402 2 жыл бұрын

I hope you never find one

@shreyassingh3917 Жыл бұрын

They had us in the first half