The dry retching from the monogamous woman was incredibly rude and frustrating.

The monogamous person was SO RUDE to the polyam person. Dry heaving, interrupting, and flat out told them that their relationships were not valid. That's so hurtful. Glad Leanne was able to be so calm and kind, I admire their level head.

I respect Leanne's patience in this discussion. Great representation shown for polyamory 👏🏾

The Polyamory one did so well!! Can be hard staying calm and composed when the other person is just vomming up all their ignorance in reaction (not their fault for mono-cultural conditioning, but still rude)

I’ve tried polyamory before. While it was mostly a positive experience, it was just too exhausting to keep up with dating so many people at once. But beyond that, I have no issue with it. And I am happily in a monogamous relationship with my current partner. One thing the monogamous woman said that kind of bugged me a bit was when she said that “it’s a pass to cheat, and get away with it.” Cheating is actively deceiving your partner(s), actively violating someone’s trust, disrespecting their boundaries, and hiding things from them. There’s nothing inherently wrong with dating/sleeping with multiple people at once, so long as there is trust, communication, and most importantly: you’re practicing safe sex. It’s okay to be monogamous. It’s ok to be polyamorous. What’s NOT okay is bashing someone’s lifestyle just because you disagree with it. Just because it ain’t YOUR cup of tea, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

I love the acknowledgement that “that’s a very mature level of security”

i wish this debate was with a monogamous person who used to be polyamorous or something... instead of a completely uninformed person. this was just leanne having to defend herself against vomit sounds and judgement

Monogamous woman didn't show up with any semblance of good faith or openness to listen and embarrassed herself, hard to take anyone's argument seriously when it consists almost entirely of insults and fake dry heaving

This is frustrating to watch because it doesn't feel like a respectful debate. Like the monogamous person was being REALLY disrespectful at multiple times. Like it's one thing to have a monogamous person who doesnt understand or disagrees with polyamory, it's another thing to get on someone who's actively hostile about it.

Was the monogamous person even listening to the polyamorous one?

What a disappointing talk, the monogamous person was there to represent the norm, she didn't had to justify why she is monogamous by "choice". Her only contribution was her noises when the poly person is trying to share her experience. Feel like I'm watching the average person without preparation talk to a expert on a subject. This was very pointless

This isn't much of a debate. seems like someone explaining something to someone acting like a child

Poly = here are the reasons polyamory works for me. Monogamy = BuT tHiS The WaY It is!!

I wonder if the producers chose this monogamous person simply because they knew they would be disrespectful and cause such an uproar online….

I love how she said humans are WIRED for only wanting one. THAT'S THE POINT! WIRED! We are all wired differently and polyamory is an orientation, not a choice. Yes, it deserves equal respect to monogamy.

the monog person needed to take several seats. glad to see healthy polyamorous representation

I really hope that as a society we can move towards an acceptance and respect of different relationship styles. Monogamy is not for you? Cool! Don't be monogamous. Polyamory is not for you? Also cool, then don't be in polyamorous relationships. But please don't try to control other informed, consenting adults' choices just because it is not the thing for you. I'm so sorry that Leanne was met with so much unwillingness to understand her perspective. I hope the monogamous person will take away something more than just having all her preconceptions confirmed.

The monogamous person was projecting truama and got so disrespectful. They are not even remotely healthy to be in any relationship and they lack basic communication skills. Irony.. showing how much healthier poly people are.

Leanne is so patient!! The monogamous person’s ignorance was so frustrating…

Not much of a debate, really. Leanne just gave a masterclass on respect and trust while the monog person just refused to listen ☠️

it's like talking to a Muppet with the "mmmh!" sound that Monogamy keeps making..... disrespectful, close-minded, judgemental, and very condescending, where as the Polygamy is logical and articulate, even if I'm not pro-polygamy

"It's just so men can control women" Me in 2009 Marching for Gay Marraige Rights: "What?"

There's different types of open relationships Polygamy/Polygamous - dating multiple people Polygyny - married to multiple women Polyandry - married to multiple women

what an insanly smoothbrain take at 5:17

I wouldn't advise against Polyamory because it might work for some people.. It does require emotional detachment. For me lt's actually more hardwork than a monogamous relationship and after trying to be in one with my ex partner, I realize now how hard it is to be able to set clear boundaries and adapt to the emotional roller-coaster.. If you feel jealous in a monotonous relationship, you'll feel way more jealous in a non monogamous one. I didn't think it was worth dispersing both of our energies in this way and would have preferred channeling this sexual energy into something creative that would nourish my soul. If you are the type of woman that enjoys taking care of your partner and like being taken care of in return, a polyamorous lifestyle doesn't offer this warmth in intimacy especially if one of the patterns is more opportunistic and less affectionate than the other. Also getting out of this type of relationship becomes so hard because of the friendship and transparency but also the intimacy.. To me personnally it was a rabbit hole honestly.

There are some Monogamous people who will never understand Poly people like me don't view control and ownership. These simply cannot be fathomed it seems but you know what? :) I'm not convinced that mongamy is more fulfilling. Never will be. I'd rather enjoy my multiple partners and experience love, sex, fun and fulfilment :) FYI saying "I just can't be bothered, that's too much effort, I'm territorial and possessive, if someone shakes my hand their mine." Wtf?? That is beyond concerning. Shows the comparsion though aye. Also they edited this taking out statistics posed my the poly person, discussing poly parenting which I found quite interesting being one myself the monogamous perosn brought up bullying hmm interesting isnt itbut shes not there to judge lol. Also editing this videos so as to not putting in all the times the monogamous person cut the poly person off. Way more then this. Bullshit monogamy pleasing producers. Don't have a debate if you handle one party being correct. That's the point of a debate.

No man likes the caterpillar eyelashes.

Warning: Very long. Helpful for those who want to know why videos like these depict monogamous people so poorly. I've noticed a lot of the comments wonder why these videos choose only bad monogamous people to debate this topic. The answer as to why they do this may be shocking to some people, but the short answer is, they can't choose any decent monogamous people to debate this topic because it is impossible to find a decent monogamous person to debate this topic. No, I'm not saying decent mono people don't exist, I'm just saying that no decent mono person who would join this debate exists; it's not possible. Why? The explanation is long: This topic is about monogamy vs polyamory. It's a debate to see if polyamory is better or monogamy is better. Here are the problems: 1.) "Gamy" = marriage or relationship structure, while "amory" = love. Mono = one and poly = many. Thus, monogamy is the marriage or relationship structure that someone has with only one person, while polyamory is the ability to love many people. So, just by the title, the video is already comparing things incorrectly: a structure vs an orientation. That in itself means that one person is defending why they chose a structure while the other is defending how they love differently. That's problem #1. 2.) Notice that polyamory means able to love many. This means that a person NATURALLY has the ability to love this way. This is why polyamory is actually an orientation, not a lifestyle choice. (Polyamory is a relationship orientation, not a sexual orientation. Romantic orientation = how you love, gender identity orientation = self-perception, sexual orientation = attraction, and relationship orientation = how many you love. Two other relationship orientations are monoamory and ambiamory). 3.) Even if this video were worded correctly, pinning a monoamorous person against polyamorous person in "monoamory vs polyamory" would be similar to pinning a heterosexual against a homosexual in "straight vs gay." Neither is better than the other because they are just orientations. The problem is, since being gay is more accepted now, what if this debate existed back in the time where being gay meant not having rights to keep children, not being able to marry, and being able to legally be fired? If a debate of "straight vs gay" existed in that time period, who would've been the likely contestants? Would they have been a gay man trying to prove that being gay is better and a straight man trying to prove that being straight is better? Or would they be a gay man coming to defend himself and why it's okay to be gay vs a straight man trying to say why being gay is invalid? It would OBVIOUSLY be a gay man defending himself while a straight man is invalidating him. Why? Because heterosexuality is the norm. There's nothing to defend. Everyone has always agreed it's okay to be straight, so it also used to be viewed as superior. There'd be no need to explain why being straight was better because it was assumed by society that it simply was. Meanwhile, the gay man would have to defend his existence because he's supposed to show how being gay is better in a society that hated homosexuals. The whole event of "straight vs gay" would set up the gay to defend himself because he's the only one who's attacked by society daily. Meanwhile, the only straight person who would join such a debate is someone who thinks they can actually formulate an argument to prove that being straight is better. It's very important to keep that last bit in mind: The ONLY straight person who would join a debate of "straight vs gay" is someone who actually believes they can formulate an argument to prove that being straight is better than being gay! Now, let's return to today on the topic of polyamory. Polygamy (the marriage or relationship structure between 3 or more people) is illegal in the US. So, it's illegal for a polyamorous person to marry who they love. The government can take away children of polyamorous parents. It is legal to fire a person from their job for being polyamorous. Polyamory is an orientation, not a choice. Think of polyamory as the new "gay" and monoamory as the new "straight," (not that they are, but for simile sake, compare this). If "straight vs gay" would be about a straight person proving that being straight is better than being gay while a gay person is just trying to prove that his existence is valid, what do you think "monoamory vs polyamory" would be about? Yeah, not such a good look, right? Being straight and being gay are both valid, neither is better than the other. Being monoamorous and being polyamorous are also both valid, neither is better than the other. So, having such debates means that neither side can prove that one is better than the other, so the only result will be that the more oppressed side will need to defend themselves against the side that society already deems to be better. This means that just as a straight person going into a "straight vs gay" debate is only there to prove that heterosexuality is better than homosexuality, then so is a monoamorous person in a debate called "monogamy vs polyamory," really only there to prove that monoamory is better than polyamory. If the gay and polyamorous people join such a debate to simply prove that they are just as valid as straight and monoamorous people while straight and monoamorous people are there to debate why they're superior, then what should've been a "we are better" battle actually turns into a one sided power trip of one side saying they are better and the other saying, "Why aren't we valid enough?" No kind hearted, open-minded, caring, thoughtful, or decent heterosexual person is going to join a "straight vs gay" debate, because they don't need to prove that being straight is superior. They already know, that people are valid as they are, so there's no point to the "debate." This is the same for any well-meant or decent monoamorous person. No intelligent and kind monoamorous person is going to join a debate that they know is actually just invalidating another person's existence. These debates aren't actually debates; they're attacks. These videos are made to show society which is the weaker and more oppressed victim. To show that it's not right to treat people this way just because we don't understand them and they're different from us. They aren't meant to be balanced because it's impossible to balance and debate a topic of orientations without invalidating and belittling someone. That's the point. It's not that people making these videos aren't looking for good mono people to join these debates, it's that no decent monoamorous person is going to join such a debate because the existence of such a debate and its sole purpose is to prove that you CAN'T show that one is better than the other without invalidating and harming someone. I hope this helps explain. Sorry it's so long, but I think it's important to understand the purpose of these videos and debates and also understand why they can't do these debates with decent monoamorous people.

I love how she said humans are WIRED for only wanting one. THAT'S THE POINT! WIRED! We are all wired differently and polyamory is an orientation, not a choice. Yes, it deserves equal respect to monogamy.