It's A Classic Virgin Tradition

It's A Classic Virgin Tradition | Breaking News

Рет қаралды 754,476

Жыл бұрын

Lily, Brennan, Erika, and Trapp navigate the uncomfortable world of kissing and oyster shucking. For more Breaking News, sign up for Dropout: signup.dropout.tv
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Пікірлер: 472

@JaraelMoonsilver Жыл бұрын

Finally, the full context of “you’re my princess, I’m gonna take care of you, you’re too beautiful to work” is available for the entire KZfaq audience

@ziwuri Жыл бұрын

"You're too beautiful to work" is the funniest sentence I've heard today.

@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E

@davidmedlin8562 Жыл бұрын

Wasn't something we were all clamoring for lmao I watched this and still don't know what you're talking about

@ziwuri Жыл бұрын

@@davidmedlin8562 speak for yourself, but those quote-marked words live rent-free for me

@RandomnesssE 8 ай бұрын

@@EEEEEEEEIS E ALL YOU COMMENT?

@Meetthekiller7 Жыл бұрын

I appreciate that Lily felt the story of her first kiss didn’t feel funny enough but goddamn she locked her dad in a basement holy shit

@cthulhutheendless1587 Жыл бұрын

I feel like you could easily pretend it was an accident if he was working on something late at night and the basement door is usually locked

@Jmcinally94 Жыл бұрын

@@cthulhutheendless1587 Yeah but in that scenario, she'd need to: A) Be waiting for her dad to go do work in the basement every time her partner was round before they could finally do it B) Be plotting this for a long time, lock dad in when he went down there and THEN invite her partner round 😂 Feels like it's more likely her dad had a den down in the basement, otherwise you're scheming WAY too hard

@erinbaer5118 Жыл бұрын

And she stone-faced volunteered that information entirely of her own accord. Respect!!

@davidy22 Жыл бұрын

@@Jmcinally94What's this about waiting for a partner? You lock your dad in the basement so that he can't escape while you have sex with him

@Juice1984 Жыл бұрын

There is a darker interpretation that for some reason makes me laugh for its absurdity.

@jreliford34 Жыл бұрын

Lily - "Ooooh, that's not how you kiss." Brennan - "You have no idea how I kiss." Trapp - {says nothing but face says everything}

@christopherlebel1241 Жыл бұрын

EXPLAIN!

@Saphia_ Жыл бұрын

Elaborate please.

@thedanox2741 10 ай бұрын

My theory First line implies that she would know how brenndan kisses, which se doesn't

@Saphia_ 10 ай бұрын

@@thedanox2741 I'm guessing either jreliford here edited the original comment or we were asking for the elaboration of the Trapp line.

@historicalFeminist Жыл бұрын

"the first time i had sex i did lock my dad in the basement to do it" INSTANTLY iconic quote here

@AlinaAniretake Жыл бұрын

"...It also happened - in a basement"

@waffler-yz3gw 11 ай бұрын

when i first had sex i locked my partner in a basement before doing it

@adal2620 11 ай бұрын

That quote has the same Energy as Oyama's "The last conversation I had with my grandfather, I called him a coward"

@matthewbartlett3442 2 ай бұрын

That has some troubling implications

@Demmrir Жыл бұрын

I love how Lily is difficult to break but then she laughs SO HARD when she does. Just 0-100.

@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

@cbpd89 Жыл бұрын

Me, who never eats oysters and knows nothing about them: Wow, Trapp sure knows his oysters!

@FullVyper Жыл бұрын

All the ones he listed are 100% real lmao

@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E

@pyrock0227 Жыл бұрын

@@FullVyper That bit absolutely reads as the writers going "Oh, you really know/like oysters huh? A real oyster aficionado? Well we'll just see about that..."

@AuraOfANobody 8 күн бұрын

As someone who worked in a seafood market for a few years, can confirm, bro was genuinely just talking about oysters. Blue Points are something of a generic name at this point, there's a Lot of places that use the Blue Point name, but most oysters are named after where they're harvested, and they will actually have different flavor profiles depending on the waters they're in. Having said that, I don't like oysters. But you pick stuff up.

@oakcanary4040 Жыл бұрын

This makes complete sense for a video written by Grant Anthony O'Brien.

@jlinkous05 Жыл бұрын

He's still getting revenge for the shower dildo

@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E

@path2plowshares274 Жыл бұрын

“Think of your fiancé Brennan “ “Izzy would want me to win” basically Brennan lol

@mehakdoosaj Жыл бұрын

brennan’s 1000 yard stare at the beginning of the video really captures it’s essence

@Juice1984 Жыл бұрын

Neurodivergent here. Brennan's essence? The stare's essence? The video's essence? All of the above? Only the non-proper nouns? Help is appreciated.

@christianruiz4249 Жыл бұрын

"Who wrote this episode?" ... "oh no"

@maiabones Жыл бұрын

@@christianruiz4249 every episode i check, hoping it's my boy. grant is such a chaos gremlin

@ridgedchips Жыл бұрын

Thousand Island Stare*

@sevagbakalian4711 Жыл бұрын

@@Juice1984 the video's essence

@sir.waffles Жыл бұрын

Grant is still trying to get revenge for the “True Facts About Grant” episode😂

@jlinkous05 Жыл бұрын

Ahhh the ol' "Shower dildo revenge" routine. We've all been through it before, right?... right?

@alexn5743 Жыл бұрын

Revenge for BOTH True Facts about Grant videos...

@bananaz572171 Жыл бұрын

@@alexn5743 wait... There's a second?!

@alexn5743 Жыл бұрын

@@bananaz572171 yes, but the second is exclusive

@alexn5743 Жыл бұрын

@@bananaz572171 they read out Grant's actually social security number

@yahooanswers4843 Жыл бұрын

dropping "youre my princess" during that was frankly genius

@JimBob4233 Жыл бұрын

Fun fact about shucking oysters: having to use a knife to do it was the original point of the phrase 'the world is your oyster.' That is, you only get what you want with violence.

@boiboh2954 8 ай бұрын

That is simultaneously horrifying and badass

@parryyotter 6 ай бұрын

Also please remember this used to be a job given to CHILDREN

@sumdude5172 5 ай бұрын

@@parryyotter the little fingers are more dextrous

@ericbarr734 3 ай бұрын

Comedy sketch KZfaq comments delivering Shakespearean trivia. This is what life is about.

@gwenstacysmom 3 ай бұрын

that sounds. probably false.

@alexmcclead7012 Жыл бұрын

I love how Erika just gave up immediately.

@mysticalink5329 Жыл бұрын

...then just took the punishment like, "...That's it?"

@mmori673 Жыл бұрын

they're living their best life

@jacklegend5798 Жыл бұрын

Really want to hear the aftermath of Lily locking her dad in the basement.

@Venomonomonom Жыл бұрын

I want to see a full sketch.

@karkajouautomaton4882 Жыл бұрын

I think he's still down there. We won't know the full story until her dad breaks out of that basement.

@jacklegend5798 Жыл бұрын

@@karkajouautomaton4882 Best possible reply.

@fyzxnerd Жыл бұрын

Next time on dirty laundry ...

@Crystal_Bull Жыл бұрын

I dont know why, but Erikas laugh at around 1:35 is just like, cartoonish. The focus, realization, and just losing it all so fluidly.

@HeisenbergFam Жыл бұрын

I get the feeling they are held hostage to be in this video

@crash.override Жыл бұрын

Just like Lily's dad!

@insertcheesypunhere Жыл бұрын

i think that's the premise of the show

@karlhenke91 Жыл бұрын

"Reporting by Grant O'Brien".

@csn583 Жыл бұрын

Mannequin, blink twice if you need help!

@Venomonomonom Жыл бұрын

You're goddamn bright.

@flashpoint5200 Жыл бұрын

The oyster shucking hit home for me. Years ago I was hurting for work so a friend of mine, who was sous chef at a restaurant in L.A. gave me an opportunity to work at the raw bar (prepping seafood). Now, I enjoy cooking; I think I'm decent and can put together a nice meal for family and friends ... But this was TWELVE HOURS learning how to "properly" cut fish, add garnishes and shucking oysters on their busiest night of the week. I was not provided gloves for the oyster cracking so my hands were frozen, damp and sore by the end; got scolded a handful of times by the supervising cook and a plate got sent back because it, "had a hairline crack in it." Needless to say I didn't get the job, which was a relief to me. I needed work but I also value my sanity. Mad respect for people working in restaurants; I never noped out of a job so fast.

@Monster_NopeNope Жыл бұрын

Brennan kissing the mannequin is an accurate representation of how I kiss my cat on top of head

@GrandSleuth Жыл бұрын

I love how smooth Mike is when he has to list types of oysters

@TheScottishMutt Жыл бұрын

Erika is just not built for this competition, and I'm all for it.

@thewordywarlock7159 Жыл бұрын

I think this is the first time one of these has presented the risk of actual bodily harm.

@nooneinparticular469 Жыл бұрын

I dunno, I think Zac Oyama almost died of oatmeal poisoning.

@leeblock9573 Жыл бұрын

@@nooneinparticular469 No, it was whipped cream poisoning. There was a regular amount of oatmeal.

@parryyotter 6 ай бұрын

Cattle prod episode

@KaelWrit 3 ай бұрын

as someone with a scar from food service I was so nervous, honestly even with gloves - !

@xmlthegreat Жыл бұрын

Love Erika, they slipped in actual learning sincerely and without hope of points. Edit: corrected pronoun after checking twitter.

@Vrozkrokop Жыл бұрын

I love her too, not only shes the person with most style but she laughs a lot and she laughs hard, just overall amazing human being

@micahphilson Жыл бұрын

@@Vrozkrokop I mean, if they already caught you laughing, may as well let it out! Unless you're Brennan I guess, in which case you apparently never let them see it, unless it's kissing jokes or Jew puns. Now we know his weaknesses!

@xmlthegreat Жыл бұрын

@@micahphilson what about puns where you kiss a Jew? Does that count as a critical hit?

@jagrubster Жыл бұрын

I think Erika uses any pronouns!

@NaudVanDalen Жыл бұрын

@@micahphilson Sometimes they count it as 2 laughs though.

@crowtalk Жыл бұрын

I feel like Brennan gets a lot of free smiles

@FaTerokiMenra Жыл бұрын

Clicks video, sees the writer was Grant O'Brien Oh boy it's gonna be a trainwreck or hilarious or both!

@jotax94 Жыл бұрын

-that's not how you kiss -you have no idea how i kiss he's got a point 🤣

@micahphilson Жыл бұрын

2:44 That's the hardest I think we've ever seen Brennan actually laugh on set!

@KelpTheGreat 3 ай бұрын

No, he's laughed WAY harder in other episodes!

@JStrangerDanger Жыл бұрын

I'm so conflicted because they've been churning out so much amazing content lately (battle Royale proves Sam's genius, doing what Jeff Probst never did in 44 seasons and hiding an idol in plain sight at tribal counsel) but I wish so much they'd find some budget for more breaking news

@riverbaena Жыл бұрын

They actually are filming more right now! As of March 27th they said in their newsletter the season would premier in a few months!

@EinDose Жыл бұрын

@@riverbaena I hope this time they have Grant write a video of Real Facts About Nick Kocher, as revenge.

@joed2333 Жыл бұрын

Yeah I'm in the same spot. I'm glad Dimension 20, Um Actually, and Dirty Laundry are options, but it's really Breaking News and Game Changer that I like.

@zbronstein3901 Жыл бұрын

@@joed2333 make some noise is really good too

@ziwuri Жыл бұрын

Just wanted to ping you and let you know that the trailer for season 6 just dropped! You generally want to be patient with this stuff, since it takes a while to produce a whole season of such a high-quality show.

@Ootek_Imora Жыл бұрын

Shucking oysters is a lot more horrifying when you realize they're alive and you're essentially giving them a joker smile "Oh oops there's a chunk of shell"

@from_no_where Жыл бұрын

wait what‽ thats how shucking oysters works? that's awful wtf

@Aburaishi Жыл бұрын

@@from_no_where Oysters have no central nervous system, so they definitely don't feel pain as we understand it. They basically have no clear means of understanding anything that is happening to their bodies (or anything at all) - in this respect, they're more similar to plants than animals (trees may even have MORE awareness than oysters, by some measures)

@tsvetomirsheev3882 Жыл бұрын

@@Aburaishi idk man, have you asked an oyster how it feels

@theendofmyropemydude Жыл бұрын

I'm willing to bet an animal that has, on average, 100 eyes or so has a complex enough nervous system to register discomfort.

@Ootek_Imora Жыл бұрын

@no_eyed_girl think of the oyster as a disembodied jaw, no real brain or complex nervous system sure..... but its still a living jaw..... and it's got a treasure/baby (pearl) so them tendons gotta go

@dapawta Жыл бұрын

This is so weird to see now that Brennan's married 😂

@jhucci 10 ай бұрын

It's crazy to see Brennan Lee Mulligan at such a loss for words. Well done, Grant.

@wjjwTheDemigod Жыл бұрын

We need one with Amy and Allison so that we can see who laughs the most once and for all.

@Kreacher3 Жыл бұрын

Amy. It will always be Amy.

@wjjwTheDemigod Жыл бұрын

@@Kreacher3 I hope so. But Allison also has never won and is usually in the high numbers like Amy.

@9nikolai Жыл бұрын

Their synergy would shatter any records

@nanoflower1 Жыл бұрын

@@wjjwTheDemigod Has Allison ever scored a 99? I think Amy is the only one to reach that record.

@xilith117 Жыл бұрын

No we don't.

@alyssatheexcellent Жыл бұрын

This was one of the best Breaking News segments yet! Erika and Brennan together crack me up so much.

@kuronosan Жыл бұрын

+10 000 Points to Erika for attitude.

@tsvetomirsheev3882 Жыл бұрын

Minus 9999 points from me cause she's a spitter 😔

@Peter_Cordes 5 күн бұрын

@@tsvetomirsheev3882 - I think that was an ice cube, not the liquid.

@ejaybugboy3yt 6 ай бұрын

Lily rightfully showing why she's the host of Dirty Laundry and the queen of over sharing with that basement story. My god.

@IceMetalPunk Жыл бұрын

"The first time I had sex, I locked my father in the basement to do it." Um, Lily, want to rephrase that? 😂 I thought we were on Dirty Laundry for a second 😂

@donovanfaust3227 Жыл бұрын

If that's how you wanna interpret it I guess. It's not like she said she locked her father and herself in the basement in order to have sex for the first time. Maybe stop looking up incest porn and this kind of stuff wouldn't pop into your mind as easily.

@alucardgangchiha5727 Жыл бұрын

I just realized I've been watching you guys since primary school and now I'm in college wow

@Theology.101 Жыл бұрын

We’re finally at the point where we are allowed to find this content funny.

@bloomingallium Жыл бұрын

same!!!

@Ssyphoned Жыл бұрын

CollegeHumor has to be on its 4th phd by now

@Arroyo2099 Жыл бұрын

Got to say I love Lilys laugh

@BluePluto03 Жыл бұрын

I feel like Erika remembered their name was “punky jewster” halfway through the space lazer bit

@emilysmith2965 Жыл бұрын

It HELPS that you’re so COMPLETELY STILL

@FMGaming Жыл бұрын

Ayoooo! That oyster shot was SAVAGE! Very impressive lol

@LuckyCJ Жыл бұрын

Pretty sure my favorite is how Erika just gives in to complete belly laughter

@TinyWarriorAnimations Жыл бұрын

I accidently clicked on the video in a way that made it start right at Trapp's segment and all I could think, "Yea this makes sense, why do an intro when you can just start with Trapp talking about oysters?"

@Gebohq Жыл бұрын

Mike Trapp came so close to saying SHUCKLES!

@Sir_Duckyweather Жыл бұрын

I was so hoping he'd say it. I'm also surprised and disappointed that yours was the only comment I saw about this.

@Danope6200 Жыл бұрын

As a real chef letting someone open oysters without proper guidance is seriously dangerous, there is a real possibility that knife ends in your hand

@parryyotter 6 ай бұрын

Yes and now remember that before child labor laws in the US, this was a job routinely given to children 😅

@gaz-l621 2 ай бұрын

I love that Erika made things harder for themself by taking the cards out of the package. 'A pack of cards' is a perfectly reasonable way to interpret a prop, but nope, gotta use all 52 (54?) of those bad boys.

@mcvenne8935 Жыл бұрын

Poor Brennan. TT *edit: Poor Erika. TT

@FrumpybutSuperSmart Жыл бұрын

I am... incredibly grateful that this video was posted for public consumption

@Godnando00 Жыл бұрын

I tried to read along with them but the moment the mannequin came in scene, I broke

@johnleclerc4507 Жыл бұрын

that's a lucky mannequin head

@kirkwagner461 Жыл бұрын

Applauding Erika for that finishing shot!

@artmeatj6620 Жыл бұрын

Trapp knowing way too much about oysters is the funniest part of this video

@user-op3km5zy1u Жыл бұрын

I do wish they'd remove the bottom text while they're doing stuff down there... aside from that, good episode!

@whatalovelyday1308 Жыл бұрын

The bottom text is how we know what the ad-lib prompts are. Also for the "News" aesthetic, too

@Peter_Cordes 5 күн бұрын

@@whatalovelyday1308 Yeah, so maybe a better way to fix the problem would be to frame the shots in the first place keeping in mind what part of the screen it will cover.

@milktenders6219 9 ай бұрын

The taking the shot without hesitation was pretty badass

@nooneinparticular469 4 ай бұрын

My favorite part is Erika subbing “touch the face of God” with “punch the face of God”.

@johnthedork723 10 ай бұрын

Brennan and Trapp both have a rizz that I cannot describe. They are both real hot but not in a sexual way. Anomalous rizz

@little_kates Жыл бұрын

Alternate Title: Grant’s Revenge

@maiabones Жыл бұрын

erika sending me into gay panic YET AGAIN

@phoebepalydovas9881 Жыл бұрын

ishii is a fucking fox, and a badass to boot. truly a role model.

@JadedKid47 Жыл бұрын

Man, that Sam Riech plans the craziest bachelor parties

@Spartan051Kurt Жыл бұрын

Gotta say, the fact that they got a photo of the spaceflight operations facility at NASA Jet Propulsion Lab for Erika's background is actually pretty good attention to detail

@patrickpromen3605 Жыл бұрын

Erika's facial expressions made the episode. That, and she actually looked excited for the oyster juice

@nickevans5598 Жыл бұрын

As someone who sucked oysters for a few summers… super dangerous to do without using a table for leverage. Great job Trapp!

@donovanfaust3227 Жыл бұрын

I didn't think giving oysters a "happy ending" was a job but I stand corrected.

@tsvetomirsheev3882 Жыл бұрын

@@donovanfaust3227 as long as its consentual

@yamitrap9688 Жыл бұрын

@@tsvetomirsheev3882 Didn't you hear? No central nervous system, no consent needed!

@tsvetomirsheev3882 Жыл бұрын

@@yamitrap9688 sounds like some good ol time

@nickevans5598 Жыл бұрын

Shucked*

@DondarfSnowbonk Жыл бұрын

For a second I forgot Brennan was reading off a teleprompter and fully believed he pulled that Jonathan Swift quote out of his memory.

@jessicaalter5100 2 ай бұрын

just...the content has been off the charts....kudos

@good-questions Жыл бұрын

i love all of these people THANK YOU

@Simmons8519 Жыл бұрын

Erika Ishii: no fear

@TheDuality0fMan Жыл бұрын

I love when Erika just loses it. Her laugh is infectious.

@epkoda 11 ай бұрын

4:32 damn i almost thought they were referencing the titanic submarine incident before i saw when this was published

@queenclairey Жыл бұрын

I can imagine Izzy watching this and calling Brennan a coward

@PancakePakadin Жыл бұрын

Brennan is the main character of college humour

@ianrivers7923 Жыл бұрын

They didn't read what's after the "make out with this mannequin head" line

@slhpproductions6707 Жыл бұрын

I like how we're all pretending we didn't see brennan make out with a mannequin

@fleamarketkeanu Жыл бұрын

this show never fails to cheer me up

@AnimaVisionary 2 ай бұрын

I'm trying to imagine this video being the first time someone sees Brennan in anything and understands and sympathizes with his akwardness and that even funnier in the context of everything he does as a dungeon master.

@Thraim. Жыл бұрын

The whole mannequin bit is just too good.

@brianthomason5022 Жыл бұрын

Just realizing that CollegeHumor is still putting stuff out

@ProbablyBacon 3 ай бұрын

The most uncomfortable episode yet

@DanielledeVreede Жыл бұрын

Wait, new breaking news episodes? Woop woop!

@lokiiago_x0x Жыл бұрын

Erika's makeup is so cool! They always look incredible

@sylvanticx Жыл бұрын

Reporter names are on point

@chuck6290 Жыл бұрын

Erika has the coolest hair!

@matthewwriter9539 8 ай бұрын

She is such a good listener, and she never nags or complains.

@Taylors_Ghost Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad Trapp didn't have to eat the oysters... I was living in dread.

@scottkrenzke1860 Жыл бұрын

i enjoy how this one is mostly them trying to make each other laugh

@VanGTO49 Жыл бұрын

We’re back on track with this one

@kirill76kuzmin Жыл бұрын

Yey!! My favorite show

@Blueblue__ Жыл бұрын

I had fear, and it was tremendous 🤢

@dogwithheadphones Жыл бұрын

If I showed this to my drama teacher and asked to play this as an improv game, I’d get kicked out of that class real quick

@adamburston719 Жыл бұрын

Solid episode.

@Ryan-fw3pb Жыл бұрын

have never laughed this hard at a breaking news

@ArnLPs Жыл бұрын

Trapp is getting away with smiling a lot, and the reason for that is that this is just what his face looks like.

@sukulmati 8 ай бұрын

Lily stroking the mannequin's hair after the bombshell made me have to pause the video so I could stop laughing and catch my breath.

@danielwilliams7562 11 ай бұрын

DAMN YOU KZfaq, why am I not seeing this the day it comes out!!!

@Sheamu5 Жыл бұрын

Lily hiding the head made it weirder

@TheRumpletiltskin Жыл бұрын

I love that half the props in this one are behind the lower thirds... COME ON EDITORS>

@laurenm7929 Жыл бұрын

This feels perfectly timed with my AP environmental science exam

@Noct31 Жыл бұрын

Look, I know it's a meme to say someone is a menace and needs to be stopped; but Grant Anthony O'Brien IS a menace and NEEDS to be stopped.

@BartixShieldsmen 6 ай бұрын

You know you've won at this game when you hear the PRODUCTION crew in the background cackling.

@jdm5570 Жыл бұрын

"Sea splooge" lmfao

@robbiejohnson1376 Жыл бұрын

I would like to point out that its feasibly impossible for the ISS to run out of oxygen

@cellularautomaton. Жыл бұрын

people's frame of reference is usually space shuttles, for which running out of oxygen is a concern, so it's an understandable mistake. plus that scenario has been used in pop culture countless times so it may just be in reference to that