Telling a man to “man up” is like telling a woman to go back to the kitchen.

Everyone struggles but women get groups, hotlines, sympathy, movies are made about it, TV shows address it. It's tough in this world for everyone, but it's a hard pill to swallow knowing you are on your own. Men are expected to overcome their issues.

Feminists blaming this on men in 3....2....

In my class one girl is an introvert and other girls treat her the same and give her compliments, I’m an introvert and the girls in my class think I’m a school shooter, I don’t have much support in my class with only 4 other boys

People tell us to show our emotions but look down on us when we do

Thank you for letting me be a part of this and giving me a voice. So many incredibly important topics raised that we need to talk about more x

I have started talking to my younger brother about his feeling and he enjoys the talks.

Men: Gets body shamed Society: Who gives a damn Woman: Gets body shamed Society: makes videos on how to hurt men physically and emotionally

This is the first video I've seen which doesn't demonize men and actually sheds light for those ignorant people who think it's a privilege being a man. As a man, you are never expected to show weakness, you can never be a victim, you always have to take a higher road, build your own career, you can't go to anyone to cry it out, you can't approach a woman just to have a sane conversation like the old days they'll pretty much call you a stalker, you are supposed to just give your possessions away in a divorce, your kids probably hate you most times because your wife demonized you, you don't have emotions, you're supposed to just obey, you can't hit a woman back even if she hits you, no one will give a shit if you are being abused by a woman, no one will ever give a rat's ass about you unless it's associated to them in some way, where do you go for help? is that a joke?, your appearance will be objectified and judged by every woman you see but you can't do that in return that will make you mysoginistic, you'll be expected to take most of the dangerous jobs in the world and be paid a lousy wage. Drive trucks on ice, scrape coral off a 4 ton anchor, go underground in a mine which will collapse any minute, install an electrical power line, work in a melting metal factory, clean the windows of the tallest buildings in the world, endanger your limbs for some lumber, work on an oilfield, ride bulls in stadiums for entertainment, defuse a burning building. These are just some of the dangerous jobs ONLY men do, you won't see a feminist near this. You will have to go through so much shit as a man in your life, but you'll be expected to never show those feelings for you'll be considered a FAG or PUSSY. Had a break-up? your fault. Divorced? your fault. Got cheated on? your fault!!!! You killed yourself? No one cares, you were just depressed. Trying to find love? You're desperate. Don't own property? You don't have a status. You are poor? Get ready to be laughed at by your friends. Out on a date? You're supposed to pay for all she ate, there is no equality. . . These are still just some of the things I could remember. I'm just 23 years old but by now I've had several nervous breakdowns, been depressed all along, couldn't pay for a good university even though I wanted to. I'm not even doing good at a shit college I'm at right now I had to stay at home cause my family went broke(still are kind of). Could never find a good friend to talk even, I was always blamed for the way people treated me. And when I see feminists talking men down like they're levitating above the rest all I can think is that they don't have the balls to take on life as men do, no courage, only a safespace.

One of the hardest things I've come to accept is that no one is on your side, not even the police. My biological mother was abusive, my current step mother is verbally abusive, all my sisters are very uncaring towards other siblings and when one of them literally attempted to kill me by setting my room on fire, the police just treated it as a domestic conflict and didn't even bother coming to the house to see what had happened. And I've been demonized by my step mom, my girlfriend (at the time) and many other women for being on antidepressants. Not to mention that half the world (women) won't even talk to you most of the time. Only about 1% of women will give certain men the time of day. And that 1% doesn't really care about you beyond some companionship. I've been taken to the hospital for attempted suicide once and self-harmed for two years and when my grandparents and aunt found out, it was seen as more of a joke than anything serious. I've honestly considered joining the military because if I'm going to die, it might as well be for a good reason.

Men's problem are not about expressing their feelings, its male disposability due to gynocentrism where men are rendered powerless, degraded and dehumanised by the legal system that favours women over men and how they abuse it. Men are also being rendered powerless, degraded and dehumanised by society, which is gynocentric where men are expected to define their masculinity based on female expectations, which women set too high. If men fail to meet those standards, they are viewed as not "real men" they are therefore ridiculed and demonised. This is really about making men docile enough to be manipulated and disposable as well as preventing rebellions by suppressing or eliminate mens’ natural masculine urge to rebel.

You see, telling a man to be strong and “man up” is like telling a woman to go make a sandwich, it’s messed up but true.

I love my husband and my son, I don't want life to be hard for them. I cry for my son because I don't want him to go through all the things my husband has gone through. I'm scared for my baby boy. my husband has had a hard life just like so many men. but he is so strong and I love him so much. I wish life wasn't so hard for our boys to grow up.

Being a man means that it will be years inbetween compliments...meanwhile young women are making $100k a year off of pictures of their bodies.

If a girl gets hit by 1 soccerball in my class an ambulance came and if 10 times a soccerball hit my face, people said dont be a crybaby, like wtf

1- you have to be strong 2- you must always be the man of the house ( even when you’re only 5 years old ) 3- you must never cry or show a sign of weakness 4- you must figure everything out on your own and never ask for help 5- you must never express your feelings even to your best friend 6- you must disrespect women and only love them because of their bodies 7- you must never watch my little pony or any show that gives a lot of creativity and imagination just because its lead character is a girl 8- you must not be afraid of anything 9- you must..... 10- you must...... 11- you must....... 12- you must........ You must and you must and you must........ I mean we’re human beings we have feelings too and believe it or not men face more problems than women about their own identities and this world needs a masculinity update rights more than feminism rights now I know that because I’m a guy and I’m still struggling😢

I think one of the biggest kick in the balls of being a man is the fact that we are so desperate for attention it’s painful but we do it in silence because we are men, I don’t even remember one time I was ever complimented or made to feel good, and I really do mean ever, I just can’t think of a time at all.

I circle through these comments and I literally see no damn woman supporting

Why can't the world be peaceful and equal :(

My heart is breaking from this 😢 You never really know someone's story until it's told ...

i've seen everyone saying, "it's hard being a woman, try living in a woman's world," but never have i once seen anyone say, "it's hard being a man, try living in a man's world."

maybe men wouldn't be so "bad" if they weren't assigned all the (financial & social) responsibility and told to act manly and fit a stereotype. men are human too.

its simple, a woman is born while a man is made.

Yeah and I today in 2018 saw a commercial wishing happy Father's Day to women. I guess father's and men are replaceable in the eyes of modern society.

I'm a teenaged girl, and although I know men have tons of social pressure put upon them, I had no idea how impactful it becomes. I am a feminist, but not the "I hate men" kind of feminist. I just want everyone to be equal. So I'm glad this video was created, because men's issues need to be addressed, just like women's issues. Great job.

Western society is horrible towards men. Feminism seems to care more about if a main character of a film is a male, which in no way is bad, than the fact that women get less harsh sentences, less time on prison, the court will almost always side with them and a lot of other stuff I can't be arsed to get into.

Feminists: *I'll pretend that I didn't see that*

It's tough being a man It's tough being a woman Don't blame gender, Blame society, culture and religion

WTF How come I didn't see this sooner?? This deserves to go viral more than those weird cat videos (no matter how much I love cats). Good job BBC! Keep 'em coming :)

The dislikes are feminists not liking the facts.

Amazing stuff. Seriously, the pressure we put on ourselves to suffer in silence is insane. Don't be afraid to get help guys. I want you all to be okay.

*Men's mental health * Society :^^Be A MaN ^^

I've seen my mother's tear multiple times, my grandma's tears multiple times. But I've see my father's tear only once in my life that too because my mother was sad for something, I've seen my grandfather tear only once that is when he lost his last brother. My father is an retired army man still he is going for job his age is 52 he also have diabetes unfortunately I still didn't got any job he is the only man who is working for my family he never showed his pain but one day at night 1 AM he returned from his work my mother and sister were sleeping I was studying he sat near me and told that "I couldn't able to stand for long time my leg were paining a lot it will be easier if you get some job" he didn't shared those pain to my mother and sister I don't know what to do I just cried when he went back to bed, even I won't show my tears in front of my family but I cry a lot no people know that I'm crying in the terrace daily........... But what these feminist says is men have more privilege than Woman. Man where is my privilege? I'm crying daily. Is this the Privilege are you talking about? Female says if there is a rebirth they need to be a man they think men are happy this is the most sad thing I'm hearing. Remember Only a Rich man are happy because they have Money to buy anything and that's few percentage of men population. You females will automatically get support (Not all But enough) even if you fail in your dream or studies but we men need to work through out our life we have no excuse to reject/ Fail.

When I was a kid my mother abandoned me and my father, When I asked my father why he answered me: "Because we are disposable" I did not understand and I asked him if we had no value, and he answered me: "Sure we have, but even valuable things can be thrown away over time." How true it is.

I'm a 29 year old male. I was told constantly from a young age men are men. You are strong. We do not cry we do not fall. I got to 27 and realised that it was bullshit. I've been suicidal since my teens on and off. I lost my mom at sixteen and didn't speak. Please lads speak up because to be honest with you? It's ruined me. Don't ever ever suffer in silence. Hell inbox me on here and I'll do my utmost to help. Take care.

the only time i ever told anyone i was depressed they didnt say anything about and never mentioned it again. made me feel even more like nobody cares about me. still kinda feel like that but im not thinking about suicide as a good choice anymore

In thr past, I always thought men had it easier. That's exactly why I wanted my nephews to be males. I was always thinking women are more likely to be kidnapped, etc. And now that I see that neither my nephew's mom or dad allow my 3.7 yr old nephew to cry when he falls and gets hurt because they "don't want him to be a crybaby". I am honestly and utterly disgusted that they do not allow a toddler to cry just because he is a male.

Just like we have a mouth to eat, we have a brain to show our emotions.

I think us as men need to unite and take care of eachother, I can’t open up at all to anybody but my mind has been dying to do so for years, it’s just not easy

It is hard to be both a man and women. I think society has over corrected in trying to make thing equal for women, and as a result men are discriminated against more than they used to be.

Whats sad is that the Mens Rights movement approaching issues like this are not taken seriously. People even try to silence those who speak out about the problems facing men in our society. Its always about the women and children. No one ever asked or cared about the men. It is because this society depressingly treats men as disposable things to be replaced or thrown away when they no longer are seen to serve a purpose.

Woman don’t realise, telling a male to man up is so unbelievably hurtful, it crushes us

Men don’t have to be physically towering and an emotionalless beasts, they are humans and deserve love and care and just as much equal support as any other gender , respect for everyone !!

People are like IT IS SO EASY BEING A GUY try stepping In a guys mind and body for a day see how hell it is(I threw my phone at the end I am so mad)

Thank you so much for bringing light to this situation! This was so powerful and I got quite emotional. It's stupid how society think having emotions is a sign of weakness when one is a bloke! (Coming from a nearly 21 year old girl!) So again thank you BBC Three for putting this on KZfaq (this should go viral!)

We males go through so much that it doesn't take us time to understand how it feels to be a female..... this might hurt the feminists and Karen...but it's the fact and learn to accept it

feminists: men need to show their emotions more! we care about men too men: *shares problems and shows emotions* feminists: LMAOOO cry more wallet youre not oppressed

it's time you learned what it means to be a man

Society: "men need to share their emotions more" Men: *shares horror stories that we have faced* Society: *pulls fire alarms to interrupt talks of male suicide* "aahhhhhh I love the taste of their male tears."

it makes me so sad to hear these things. i struggle with mental illness issues so i know how it feels, and while i do feel occasionally ashamed to let out my emotions and feel a need to be secretive (mostly that’s just my personality), i don’t have to be afraid of being seen as less of what i am, or someone seeing me as weak. guys, not all women will shame you for sharing and expressing your emotions. actually, i think it’s a beautiful thing, most especially when a man does it. and i know plenty of girls who feel the same way. and if a girl puts you down for that, or for any other reason GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION WHILE YOU CAN, YOU DESERVE BETTER!! if you’re in a relationship where a woman is abusing you, get out while you can please! it is especially bad for men because while men are usually physically stronger, they are afraid to defend themselves out of fear or doing even more damage than the abuser. if you’re dealing with any problems mentioned in the video, please get help, forget what society or friends or family say, your well being is so much more important ♥️

This makes me so sad. Understanding that men in general encounter a lot throughout this lifetime is important. Check up on the men in your life!

I hate the phrase man up

From 2016 til the end of 2019, it's harsh to see 81000 views in this video. A female talking about her depression might hit a mil in just days. Why men are just degraded so much from their manhood? Why narcissit parents make and blame the very essence of a man's spirit? That's a real world issue in all war countries.

Great video - we all have a role in breaking the silence. I know that when I took the risk and spoke about my experiences in a safe community, then some of the feelings of being toxic decreased. We need to do something AND we need to do so TOGETHER

It is hard to be a man, but it is even harder when you are a man and you try to leave a relationship where you have kids and are told you are not seeing your kids. I have seen some if the toughest men crumble at this impossible nightmare situation that women are so cruel and power freaks why would anyone want to be a dad in this day and age ?

It's like sex, a woman gets points just for allowing it to happen but the man gets judged on performance and held responsible for both of their orgasms.

People says: women are cute , they are not supposed to be hit not even with the flowers because they are angels , but no one say this for men . why ?

thanks for making this video. i struggle a lot myself, and i deal with suicidal thoughts a lot. and people don't really listen, talking about it doesn't really help much. but watching this, i know there are people who understand. eventhough i wish no one has to go through the same shit as me. but seing other men who deal with it gives me hope, that atleast someone would care to just listen and understand.

I was yelled at school by a teacher and was told to man up.... Life as a man is really hard... I have long hair and everyone around me insisting for me to cut it...

Here comes the triggered feminists saying: “GuYs dOn’T hAvE iT hArDeR, gIrlS hAvE pErIoDs”

its like , MEN ONLY MUST GO AND EARN THE BREAD.. !! THOUGH IN MY FAMILY ,BOTH MY MOM AND DAD WORKS OUTSIDE AND EARN MONEY..!! BUT STILL IN MAJORITY " THE THINKING IS LIKE THAT ONLY MEN MUST WORK AND EARN THE BREAD"..

I am sad coz i have no friends and if it were for me to be a girl i would've surely had friends and express my feelings and could at least cry freely

Before any angry feminists start getting triggered. We aren't saying the life of a female is easy. We are merely saying the struggles men have.

I think men and woman both have enough problems without society and ourselves always trying to put them blame in eachother. Truth is we all need to be better. It’s time for us to talk as people and not men and women. Men deserve to be heard and women deserve to be respected.

It's not difficult to be a man. it's not difficult to be a woman. *It's difficult to be me in this society.*

Wow. Such a powerful film. Credit to the creatives behind this!

Sometimes I get to the point where I feel so sad, lost, and stuck that I don’t even feel it anymore. I just push it away and hold it in because ive been told growing up that having emotions shows weakness.

It took me years to speak about my anxiety and depression because of how embarrassed i was

I was in an abusive relationship with a nurse, physically and emotionally abusive. When I tried to get help, there was none, only amusement from people who couldn't believe it. I have 4 friends and a brother all currently bankrupting themselves fighting to get custody of their children because their exes decided they couldn't see them unless on her terms and whims. Fathers are pushed from homes - harming children in ways people won't admit, marriage and family are now a risk for men as their children, home and assets can be torn away at the whim of his wife. Society is so anti-male that its staggering most of us get out of bed. The suicide epidemic is evidence that society is no longer conducive to male wellbeing, when so many are choosing death over existence in this society. Gyno-centrism and 3rd Wave Feminism has tipped the balance too far, society isn't equal any more, it favours women. This is a blatant propaganda piece by yet another feminist, blaming others for the ruin they create. Men are just sick of being the bad guy, the dumb guy, the useless one, the historic and current "oppressors", uncontrollable sexual deviant, the list goes on.... We worked to end discrimination but all we've done is change punching bags. We've made no progress. A new scapegoat has been named. The rise of MGTOW men is an indication of what will follow - we will abandon women entirely if needed. I'd prefer we put aside our differences and worked together, bringing our unique skills and perspectives to bear on a grander project for a better future. Men and women need each other but the distribution of power is out of balance. Feminism isn't required for the next step foward, cooperation and mutual respect is.

thank you for making this video

This was amazing. I cried at the end when he just kept the darkness on himself, put the clothes back on and went on with his day. I feel that everyday myself. Men have so few resources to get help. I'm a Social Worker and I've advocated for men's discussion groups, men's mental health lines and support for young men who feel alone. I was completely ignored. Instead the agencies I've worked for added more resources for women's support groups, training for women, empowerment for women and fast tracking female social workers to management positions. There are already so many resources for them but nothing for us. Society does not care about us so we have to look out for each other.

when i went through a really bad set of events back in 2019, i went to the doctor and told them id attempted to take my own life and was worried id do it again and what he got from that was "so you're a little sad" and was just getting aggrovated when i kept saying i neeeded some help, after the 5th time of correcting him by saying replying to his "so you think you'll be ok to be home tonight" with "no i feel theres a very strong chance i mighf do something" i just stormed out this was later in the year from when i went to see a therapist who after yhe first session sent me an email saying they didnt believe they could help me and that they hoped id find help with another therapist if it hadnt been for the fact i had supportive friends, family and pets i dont think if be here today, i worry for the people who dont have my support network and get fobbed off as it genuinly feels like my mental health as a male doesnt matter i remember a sign that said "1 in 4 homeless are women" showing the 3/4 men dont matter and hearing stories of mens shelters getting protested into shutting down and the person in charge of setting them up getting death threats we really need to start taking mems issues more seriously, yes women have hard lives but they have government and societal support, i was just lucky my personal relationships were healthy

At age 17 i already had back pain because of all the hard labour i had already gone trough to take care of my family i had already been working for over 5 years

Being a man means no one cares about you or your problems. Shut up, man up and be useful. Also listen to women's problems and gripes. Be ready to solve problems, listen and provide for others. You will rarely be complimented, thanked or appreciated, but always blamed, ridiculed and insulted.

Finally someone speaks about this

in childhood boys suffer because of sisters . After growing men suffer because of wife.

just 180.000 clicks in 5 years? If it was about women it would've gotten 2 million in 2 weeks

This breaks my heart as a woman 💔😭.

telling a man to man up is like telling a person who is sick to just go heal himself.

I’m a 14 year old male and I agree with everything in this video.

I hate that we can't just all be compasionate with eachother. No matter if you're a man or a woman. I know we both have it hard. Yes we are different, but we also have a lot in common. I wish we could listen to eachother a little bit more and sympathise with one another. I was actually searching for a video about hating to be a woman. Because I find myself struggeling with expectations I cannot reach and it made me so angry towards men, because I feel they don't see the pain or even care. Instead I found this one. It somehow made me feel less alone. To all the men out there struggeling with pain, stress, shame, guilt, anything really, I hope you can find the courage to talk, to allow yourself to feel, to cry, to ask for help, love and/or attention. Because we all need that sometimes. Take care!

It's worst when you go through shit, Everybody ignores you, yet want they want you to do shit for them

Strongest video that I'd ever seen. Men can be the victim of sexual assault in childhood and too many other problems which we can't even talk about to keep ourselves making vulnerable. the world even takes away our ability to cry about it.

Mad respect for the men sharing their stories in this

I knew that depression manifests itself differently in men than in women, but never really thought about how. it tends to make you feel alone in general, but not feeling like you can talk about it and not hearing people like you talk about it triples the feeling i think. im glad this video was made, i hope a cultural shift is coming where men (me included) dont feel less masculine for talking about these things.

And I'm Watching this on Woman's day!! Noone talks about us. How we suffer the pain we go through and the responsibilities. More power to you all who are silently suffering, grinding and doing their level best. Remember this will pass too. Believe in yourself.

This suddenly came in to my recommendation, and I'm so glad that I did watched this even if it's a two year old video.

I actually pray for movements like this. Superb. Well done. A flick of fire to a huge fuse can hopefully go a long way. Men need to talk.

Of course is harder being a man. U have to be perfect and u have to be successful, u can't make mistakes.

Video on point, I hope those markers didn't have any solvents that could be absorbed by the dude's skin though

A lot of men were taught at an early age to “suck it up,” that crying is unacceptable and expressing how one felt could be viewed as weak or whining. Men weren’t given a platform to share how they felt but instead were quickly told to move past it and “stay strong.” and go treat women like queens and to respect them. This led to a lot of men only knowing how to act tough or hide their feelings in silence. Not a healthy or enjoyable away to go through life. Hiding feelings and not being able to express oneself is a recipe for future health issues, poor communication in relationships, and depression

thank you for that! really thank you for that i needed that video i really needed that video

Good video spreading awareness for what males go through

GREAT!!! A step in the right direction!! Well done BBC n.n

Let's help change the level of conversation men can have. thanks for getting this out in the open.

Now this was very powerful, very touching. If this does not touch your soul. Then you don't have one to be touched....

Life is like minecraft, Women play on Casual mode, and men play on hardcore.

Wait, BBC doing something for men? What the fuck is this, am I in an alternate dimension?

Watching this in an empty bath tub having intrusive thoughts and it's helped a lot. Thank you for this.

Girl: you have to be strong Big Rich Be happy that I’m a gold digger Boy: I don’t what her to be fat Girl: that’s so mean go die!!!